Six Dollars Left in Bank Account

What's up guys, welcome back to Views, the podcast where Jason is ugly. And I saw him post an ugly Instagram selfie earlier when you landed in Chicago. Why do you always do the duck lips? What is with you and the duck lips?

Trisha Paytas said I should do more duck lips, that I look sexy that way.

Yeah, yeah, did she?

Yeah, she's been telling me she's been giving me a lot— she's been giving me a lot of positive reinforcement, unlike some people that I've been hanging out with for the last year who's always negative, negative, negative, negative.

I'll also tell you, they get a boob job. Huh? Or in your case, a boob reduction because they're sagging out of your shirt.

Brother, let me tell you something. Yes, I might be getting a boob reduction. And you know what? She has a great surgeon because she cares about me.

Yeah. Okay.

Well, sounds like someone's jealous.

Maybe. Oh, yes.

Truth comes out.

Yes. Liza's still in Houston, but I don't want to talk about it.

Okay.

Well, by the way, also this week, I just want to say, roll the intro music. Okay, now you can say what you want to say.

Um, after what you said last week, because I go back and I listen to all the episodes.

What did I say last week?

I know you don't.

Oh, I know exactly where you're going.

Go ahead.

You just read a tweet. Huh? You read a tweet.

No, I don't read your tweets.

No, you read someone's tweet.

Oh, I wasn't gonna say that, but I know what you're gonna say. Okay, okay, that's really funny.

What were you—

that's really funny.

Okay, well, and in the last week's podcast, I talked about how Jason always has to babysit his kids when his wife is out of town having sex with her new boyfriend. And, um, like, a couple people tweeted at me saying it's called babysitting, it's called being a parent. And Jason, I think, like, screenshotted it or something, like tweeted at me. He's like, yeah, fuck you, David.

I wrote— no, I wrote ahem and I retweeted it. And then someone wrote, um, that you couldn't come up with that in the moment. You had to take someone else's joke like a day later, which is true.

What were you gonna say?

The thing I was gonna say was last week on the show, I know you guys keep up with views, it's a hot podcast and it's a drama here. David and I always going at it.

Nuts.

It's crazy.

The best podcast ever.

Best podcast right now.

And I went to, you know, I was in— I'm— we're in my hometown. Okay. So I was—

go ahead.

I was with my friends earlier and I was telling them, they're like, I heard you're touring. And they're like— and I'm like, no, I just did a couple of shows. And they're like, so you sing now? And I'm like, I'm like, no, we do a podcast. And they're like, what? What is that? And I'm like, so we sit on stage, we have 2 mics and we talk and they're like, about what? And I'm like, we just kind of talk about stuff. And they're like, so, so people pay to come and watch you talk on stage? And then I'm like, yeah, yeah, that's completely normal. And they're like, is everyone a fucking idiot that watches your stuff? They were so confused.

Yeah, but they sound like they must be living under a rock.

That's not true.

They all do it.

I wouldn't know what a podcast—

does live podcasts all the time.

I know, but, but it's crazy to think that like their friend from their hometown gets paid for people to listen to them talk for like You know, I hang out with them constantly, so it's just like you—

maybe they don't think of you, they don't have— think of you in high regard, but the idea of like podcasting—

no, no, it's you, it's you, it's you.

They don't like—

they're like, with Jason?

So they know me. I'm happy just to be a part of the conversation.

Jason's a piece of shit. You're like overhearing the conversation, you hear someone call you a piece of shit, you're like, you hear that? They're talking about me. All right, what were you saying?

Well, last week you mentioned that I was not a friend.

Oh my God, dude, I thought we dropped this conversation.

I was a colleague, which I went and looked up the word colleague.

You looked up the word colleague?

Yeah, I'm pretty sure.

With a bag of potato chips and ice cream?

That's right, some new Halo Top, 280 calories a pint. And so yeah, this week I'm just gonna be very colleague-like.

You're a fucking chump.

I'm not gonna be yucking it up as a friend would. I'm gonna be, it's been more of an office situation.

Dude, I said we're friends. I just didn't say we're best friends.

Okay, David, that's great. Great to hear it. I'll take you at your word.

Are you—

let me get this progress report over to human resources. So what happened with you over Christmas, Jason?

I could tell, I could tell that on your flight over here you were planning this bit out in your head.

I've been planning for 3 days.

Um, no, dude, I didn't mean for you to take it so personally. I just said that we're not— I just said that we're not best friends. Because you even said it yourself, you're best friends with Brandon Calvillo, which I have no problem with.

No, I'm not best friends with Brandon Calvillo. He said that one day.

Yeah.

And then I was like, oh fuck.

I was like, who's your best friend?

Huh?

Who's your best friend then?

Jeff Baumgartner.

Who's that?

He's my friend. If you ever would take a minute to know anything about my life outside of your hemisphere, then maybe you'd remember his name. I've told you about him many times, about Jeff Baumgartner.

When's the last time you saw him?

6 months ago.

But it's like we talk every day because when I see him, we Talk for hours.

Won't even return my calls.

Fair enough. So Jason, guys, this is a special podcast. If we're sounding extra, extra sexy or terrible, we don't know, or like shit, it's because we're recording in a studio. We found a guy. Where'd you find this guy?

Well, I just put in Google Vernon Hills Studios and this is the only one that came up.

The only one within a 10-mile radius, the only studio that exists here. So yeah, we're recording in a studio with like real professional mics.

Tell them I'm in Chicago. You're in Chicago. Yeah.

And I'm in Vernon Hills and Jason flew in for—

because you left me with no options.

Jason flew in from Boston during his Christmas break to record this podcast and he's flying out tonight. So tomorrow morning. Tomorrow morning. So guys, big round of applause to Jason. And we have an ad today that we're going to read later and we only make about like— I can't, I can't imagine over $300.

No. So I'm losing money on this.

So you're losing money on this trip. But Jason did it for the consistency of the podcast and I applaud him for that.

That. Yeah, and we could have recorded it in Los Angeles last week, but you just won't do it.

We were busy.

You were busy. I don't understand why you just couldn't record it. Why do I have to fly here?

Regardless, we're back.

I know why. You want me to fly here to help you with your vlog. That was your whole plan. That was your whole master plan. Shut down the podcast in LA, force me— force my hand here in Chicago, get me to Chicago, and now you have me all day to help you with your vlog.

Checkmate, bitch.

Well, that's not cool.

Yeah, you didn't hear me in the car as we pulled up. I'm like, hey, um, do you want to go get your ass waxed after this? I think we're gonna go. Yeah, that was like that.

You did say it.

I love Jason. Was just like, yeah, sure, that sounds good. I think we're gonna get, um, I think we're gonna get Jason's, um, ass waxed with my friend because we did it last year and it's so much fun. I know a dope waxing place here. They're really nice and they do a good job at waxing. So we're gonna go there after this. How was Christmas?

Christmas Just fantastic. Yeah, time with the children.

Did you get any gifts?

I got a sweater.

Nice.

And a couple of pairs of pants.

Amazing.

Yeah, my family went and bought me a bunch of stuff, and they were like—

What'd you get your family? What'd you get your mom?

I didn't get them anything.

Haha. Oh, how was your family for the Christmas?

Everybody was great. How was yours?

Are you getting annoyed at your kids? I remember before you left for the break, I just— I saw you at your desk, and just like, you would keep talking to yourself. You'd be like, two fucking weeks, two fucking whole weeks. And I'm like, Jason, what's going on? Nothing, nothing, nothing. It's fine. Just getting ready for winter break. That's all. I love winter break. How is that? How are the kids?

Holiday season? They're fine. Once I got there, my mom takes care of them. It's fine.

Yeah. Have you been relaxing?

Not really.

You're such a shit at relaxing. You're the worst. I know.

I am.

Oh, what? Yeah.

I'm bad at relaxing.

I know how to—

I've never seen you relax once in my life.

I know how to relax, but you can't sit still and it's like obnoxious. Your mouth is wide open right now.

I'm speechless.

You know what? I take, I take that back. I take that back.

Cause I, All I ever do is ask you to relax. All I ever do is say, let's go to Hawaii.

No, you don't. No, you don't. All you do is want to shoot. It's always business with you, dude. I'm trying to be your friend. You treat me like a colleague constantly.

You're a colleague. You're a border collie.

A dog?

Yeah, you need a haircut.

Yeah, I do need a haircut.

You need to go run around.

That's what everyone here tells me, that I need a haircut. I surprised my friends with an alligator.

Yeah, I know, I missed it. Why didn't you do that today so I could be here? Because everyone was home, right?

Holy shit, dude, I didn't even think of that.

Dumbass. Can you get him back?

I can.

Let's get it. Let's get the alligator.

Who else would we— ah, that was so sweet.

No, take him to Lifetime Fitness.

A couple— a bunch of my friends Instagrammed the picture of the alligator. But anyway, I should have waited for you. Yeah, it was, uh, we surprised him with like a 300-pound alligator. He was 10 foot— 10 feet long, and he was really nice. He was like— he was trained like a dog, so like he loves giving people rides. So the second you sit on him, he'll walk around the room, and like, uh, they were saying that he's like the smartest alligator ever.

But like, yeah, that guy was actually— he was really trumping himself up.

But, um, but I, uh, Brian was telling me that he thinks it's the dumbest alligator ever because he doesn't know that he's a predator. He just sits in the living room.

Figured out that you could domesticate an alligator. That, that guy just—

I don't know who fucking— I don't know. But, but he has, um, You know, alligators live for 70 to 80 years.

Wow.

So he'll have it for like his entire life. Wow. Like there's no messing around with it.

Where does he keep them?

He keeps them in his house and he's like a dog, so he'll sit outside on his front lawn and then when he's called inside, he'll come upstairs, climb up the stairs and go to his room.

Shut the fuck up.

Yeah, he'll even ride in the car with his head in between the seats of the car.

But an alligator can't live in Chicago. It's too cold.

Well, he keeps it warm. But yeah, he's really cool. And, um, originally we were gonna surprise my, uh, my siblings. Like, that was the plan. I've been planning it for literally, I think, like 2 months since I heard of this alligator. And I'm like, this is it, I can't wait till Christmas time, I'm gonna surprise my siblings. Um, I went to the— he was supposed to come at 11 in the morning. It was like 10:25, and I had to go— I had to go to the bank to get some money out for my parents. And, um, I called Brian, who— Brian's our animal guy who's going to connect us with the with the alligator guy.

Yeah.

And I'm like, Brian, don't come to my house until 11. And he's like, got it, uh, sounds good. And he called the alligator guy, told him what's up. And, um, then the alligator guy comes up to my house at like 10:45, so I'm still not home. Toby, my 7-year-old brother, answers the door and he goes, hi, I'm the alligator guy.

Oh no.

Yeah. And my brother's just like, what? And I'm like, I got a call from my parents and they're like, your alligator guy's here. And I'm in the bank like waiting for my cashier's check to go through and I just start fucking screaming. Like, I'm just like to myself, I'm like, fuck, shit, fuck. Like right in the middle of the bank because I'm so pissed. Like my entire plan's been foiled.

That's the only time you get upset is when your plan is foiled.

So pissed off. And I'm like, okay, maybe he's young. Maybe he's young. Maybe he doesn't understand that. Like I that the alligator is like, that it's an alligator, you know, maybe I could cover it up in some way. So I went back home and I'm like, and I see my parents and I'm like, they know. And he's like, and my dad's like, yeah, they know. I'm like, it's okay. I'm just going to go tell them that Alligator is the name of the dog I got them, right? And they're getting a puppy for Christmas and I'm going to surprise them with it. And I went upstairs and I'm like, I got all my siblings in a room and they're like, okay, are you, are you going to surprise us with the alligator now? So they all knew and it completely fucking busted and it was a waste of time, which sucks. And then I surprised my sister with a snake, which I may put in my next vlog. And she was just like, shoot. They were like, ah, they were so scared, so scared. And I took off the blindfold and she's like, oh, it's a snake. Okay. And it was like an 18-foot-long python.

Really?

But yeah, but my sister doesn't care about snakes, so it's getting harder to fool people. It's getting hard, which is— I think this was my last animal other than when I get piranhas and I can throw them in the pool while you guys are all swimming. I think this is the last time I'm gonna try to scare people with animals.

Yeah, well, you can't go anywhere else because you can't go anywhere else.

Huh?

Get a bear.

Bear's the only way. But like, even—

it's not even that scary.

Even a bear, it's not scary. Like, I definitely can't surprise anyone with a tiger or a lion unless they're like ready to kill, and no one's gonna lend me a tiger and lion that's ready to kill. Do you know what I mean?

What do you mean ready to kill?

Like, if I was to surprise any of you with a tiger or lion, I'd put one in your living room and I'd want it to be vicious. Like, I'd want it to be growling.

You wanted to murder someone?

I'd want it to be like Jumanji. Like, you know, when they call out like an animal from the board and it's like, fuck, there's a lion in our living room. Like, I want it to be like that, right? I didn't— I'd like— now if you fucking borrow a lion, they're like drugged up and they're like, they're like, you know, dead.

You've researched this?

I mean, I just know how they are. I'm— they're not drugged up, but they're just cute. Everyone sees a tiger, like, especially inside a living room, and they're gonna be like, oh my God. Which I could still surprise you with the tiger because everybody wants to meet a tiger, do you know what I mean?

Sure.

Like, that's like a different type of surprise. But as like—

but not a lion?

No. Yeah, a lion too. But like, as scary things go, yeah, there— there's nothing left to surprise my friends with other than like termites or like lice.

How did you get the alligator around?

I don't know, he just owns him in Chicago. He's done thousands of shows.

How'd you get the alligator up Mike's steps?

Fucking A, man.

Who carried him?

7 people. Me, Mike, Alex, Ilya, Jim, Brian, Scott, and then, um, 300 pounds. Yeah, fucking heavy.

Did he have like a— on a tarp?

Yeah, he was in a bag.

Holy shit.

He has like this like custom carrying bag that he goes in, and when he's done in like houses, he'll crawl right back into the bag.

Really?

Yeah. So he like, he's like a lot, a lot, a couple people in my comments were like, he's drugged up. He's not drugged up. He's just literally thinks he's a dog. Like he, he, he doesn't know. He doesn't know. Like he, he's loving life. Because he is not like— he'll like— if you put your hand in his mouth, he'll open it wider for you to take it out. Like, it's just— he's just that kind of alligator. I'm like, if you guys haven't seen the vlog, he's like a ginormous, like, proper alligator. What does he eat? He eats steak and just like raw. I don't know. He loves Chipotle. He— no guac though. No guac. He hates guac. But I mean, if you're a college and university student, you guys got to listen up because you guys got a lot of things to worry about, and whether or not you're going to have enough cash to buy groceries and go out this weekend shouldn't be one of them. That's why you should check out Cash Course. That's CashCourse.org. Cash Course is a free website full of information. The reason Jason hasn't read his ad yet, because his phone is stuffed away in his boots.

I've got— dude, I came here.

This isn't—

I have a jacket, I have another jacket underneath. It's 0 degrees here, by the way.

Can you, can you not What? Can you not? We're in Vernon Hills. Don't give me an attitude here. I'm reading an ad about Cash Course and I want it to be friendly.

Okay, then don't start with that.

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Yeah.

Thank you guys for sponsoring the Cash Course.

We appreciate it.

It's so weird because, um, like, you know, I, when I, before I started like Vining, I, um, or after I started Vining, I applied to college and I was like ready to go to college. Um, I applied to Mizzou. It's in Missouri.

And it was like that, like a big party school.

Yeah. It was like a popular like choice for kids here. And I was ready to go cause I didn't care for college. I just, I didn't care. I didn't care to visit a college. I was just going to do what everybody else liked. Right. So I'm like, I saw like a lot of people like Mizzou, so I'm like, fuck it, I'll sign up and I will go there. Like, I won't even visit. I'll just have my backpacks and I'll show up and I'll just fucking do this shit. I didn't care. So I got accepted. Everything was ready to go. And then my friend Ilya, who's a dumbass, didn't get accepted to Mizzou and it was like a really easy school to get accepted to. And so we completely— so I'm just like, Ilya's my friend, so I can't go to Mizzou. So I just— I pulled out of Mizzou. Wow. So I wasn't going to Mizzou anymore. And then we decided to go to ISU. Which was, um, right around here, which is right around here. Yeah, yeah. And, um, we went to— we went to—

what kind of grades did you get in high school?

A's and B's. I got a C once.

Oh, you did good.

Yeah, yeah.

I mean, what'd you get in the SAT?

On the— I didn't take the SAT.

How'd you get into college?

ACT. It's in the Midwest.

Oh, what'd you get in the ACT?

You probably won't even know.

Oh, it's a different score entirely.

I got like 28.

Oh, that's a different score entirely. Wait a minute, you're saying in the Midwest they don't take SATs?

No.

Really?

Unless you're applying to get into like West Coast schools, then you're—

East Coast schools.

I don't know. Yeah, I, I guess that's what it is.

Midwest.

Yeah. SAT wasn't a thing, but yeah. So we, we, we like, we applied to go to ISU, which was another college. We picked out our roommate, we picked out our dorm room, and then, um, and then we went to go, we went to go drive down there. It was like a 3-hour drive there. And like, we got there. I mean, the second we pulled up, we just started laughing and we're just like, what the 'Fuck, are we doing?' Wow. Like, 'Why are we doing this?' Like, we— like, we felt like we were— I don't think above the college system is the right word, but like, it just wasn't for us at all. Like, and it was— why not? Because it was just so— we didn't care for school. We didn't care to do anything. He wanted to start his own business, and I wanted to do whatever I wanted to do, you know?

What did you want to do at that point?

Well, I was already Vining, so I knew that Vine was like a ticket to something.

That is something like that.

Yeah, I'm like, I knew that it was like the million-dollar ticket to a career in entertainment, at least for the next couple years, you know? I mean, right. And so far it has been, which is fucking incredible. I love Vine. Shout out to Vine.

Vine 2.

Vine 2 is coming back. Yeah, but we just fucking started cracking up and we're just like, fuck this, we're not doing it. And we pulled out last minute again, ditched our roommate that we already had there. So our roommate had to find a new, a new 2 other roommates to share a room with like the last minute. So then we just decided, fuck it, we're going to community college. And first day we pull up to community college, we're just like, we're just like, what the fuck is this? Because I mean, I don't know if you've ever been to community college, but especially out here, it's, it's, it's kind of, it's scary. You know what I mean?

It's like, why is it scary?

It's, it's just like, you can tell a lot of the kids are going there that just don't give a fuck about a lot of things.

Right.

You know what I mean? That are the, and I don't, there's a lot of kids that I really want to get an education.

Sure.

And that just can't afford like regular college.

Right.

But there's also a lot of kids there that are just like, I don't give a fuck. But like, in like, in like a scare, in like a way where they're like, I'd rather just be smoking. I don't want to make it like, yeah, like 5 kids in every classroom of 30 students. But it was, it was enough where you would be like, ah shit, this is kind of scary.

How much did community college cost?

I think it was like $2,000 for the semester.

That's it?

Yeah.

So $4,000 for the year?

Yeah, it's real. It's probably like $6,000 for the year with all the classes. It's really cheap. It's the, it's the smartest move to do if you're like running low on money, um, or just obviously don't have that much money. But, um, but yeah, so that was, so that was, um, that was that. So we were just like, this is fucking so stupid, um, because it was, it was worse than ISU. So the next day, actually the first day we had our classes, we had our first class at like 10 in the morning, right? And we got out of there, it was like noon, and we were just like, there's no fucking way we can do that. Like, we were like just yelling at each other. Like, we just sat in the car, the parking lot, we're just like, what the fuck was that? What the fuck was that? We just started screaming and we're like, No, fuck this. So we drove back down to ISU, which is 3 hours away. And we went to go talk to like, like one of like the deans there, or like one of like the head people there. And we tried to get a meeting with him to get back in, to get back into the school. And after spending like, we even went and like before we had the meeting, we went to the gift shop and we bought a bunch of ISU gear. So we looked like we really loved the school. And we put that on. We got into the meeting, we're dressed up in ISU stuff. And, and he, he, the dean guy or whatever, the head of admissions goes and talks like the other people in the back or whatever. And it's just a no-go and they can't let us back in.

And why not?

Because it was too late. It was like school already started a week ago.

Right.

So we just thought maybe we can get in late on classes, but it didn't work. And they were just like, yeah, sorry, we can't do anything. So we just continued doing CLC. And then at the same time, And after the first semester, we dropped out.

Same— at the same time?

Yeah, about. Yeah, we just dropped out.

What was he gonna go do?

He took over his dad's business. So he's— and his dad, his dad's like pretty foreign. So it's easier for Ilya to run the business than his dad. Like he didn't— his dad works for Ilya now. Like it just flopped. Yeah, because Ilya can just, I think, take care of it better. But, um, but yeah, no, and I remember, I don't know if I said this on the podcast, but my last day my last final in class, I got caught cheating. And like on my final, like I had my phone out and I was texting my friend. I was actually giving him answers.

Right.

But luckily the teacher came over to me and she's like, give me your phone, give me your phone. And I'm like, no, no, no, I'm not. I wasn't cheating. I just, she knew like I was a Viner.

Right.

So I'm like, I was just taking care of work. I was just doing work stuff. I was just figuring something out. I'm not cheating at all. I don't know what I said. I probably said something a lot smarter than that, but But yeah. And then she's like, okay, fine. And I finished my test and I don't even know what grades I got in college because it just didn't fucking matter. It's ridiculous, isn't it? Isn't that crazy? Like how, like how much pressure I had on me in college and like even in high school, like, like the— I mean, I didn't stress out a lot in school because I was just not that type of kid. Like I knew everything would get done, but like even like the little stresses of like taking a test or like just getting a project done last minute. Like it was so irrelevant to the rest of my life.

I think it's good you knew you didn't want to do that. I think that's impressive. I think most people would have gone 4 years.

Yeah.

And been like, oh fuck, why did I do that?

And most people are doing it. Like my friend, my really good friend John, he's been wanting to be a doctor since he's been like 10 years old.

And is that what he's doing?

I mean, now he's like almost starting to change his mind because he's like, because John has— John's about to finish college, right? In like a year and then he has to take 8 more years of school, which is fucking nuts. He'll be done when he's 30 years old and he'll be what, at a $100,000 income? I guess I don't think being a doctor is about the money at all, in my opinion.

No, it's, it's, I don't think it is at all.

And a lot of people here in the Midwest, I don't wanna speak on behalf of everybody, but I know a lot of people, at least in my school, thought that being a doctor is this prestigious thing. But I think it's backwards. I don't think people know how much money is out there. That's pain in the ass. I don't think people, people here in the suburbs know like how much you can make by just going out and doing your own thing, like just figuring it out yourself.

Yeah, well, you got real lucky.

Yes, I got lucky. But like, dude, like even like Ilya, like all you have to do is just fucking picked up his dad's business.

It was already in place for him. Yeah, I'm not saying Ilya is like not a talented guy. I think he is, and you know, he's really smart. But like, you know, it's not, it's not always that easy to make your own road.

I know, but it's, but it's, I think it's easier than spending 12 years of your life after high school going to school to get $100,000 or, you know, income. Like, I feel like if you move out to New York and you hustle every day, you don't even make friends. You just go from like workplace to workplace to like try to figure something out or something that you're passionate about. I think it— I think that's so much easier and so much more productive.

Yeah.

Like everyone's doing college. Like, it's just— I just don't think that's a way to stand out. I don't know.

Yeah.

But I mean, if you want to be a doctor to help people, then fuck yeah, go be a doctor. But like, but like, I feel like, I feel like John especially, like, well, John wanted to be a doctor to help people. Like, he understood that it wasn't like the biggest income.

He doesn't want to anymore.

Yeah. Now he's kind of just like, it's so much school. And like, he's seeing like what Ilya is doing, what I'm doing, and he's just like getting impatient.

Like, it's just like, yeah, all that school is frustrating.

And it's not even, it's, I'm not even saying it's a waste of time. It's a waste of, it's okay. I hate saying it's a waste of time because I, I'm actually like a pretty like like positive guy when it comes to college. Like, I think, I think most people should go to college, but I think there's some people that are like exceptions in that, like, if they actually have a drive to do something else, they shouldn't. I know that kind of goes back on what I was just saying.

Don't you feel like you missed out on something though?

No, not fucking at all. What did I miss out on? Partying? Like, I can do that now. I go down to USC once a month and it's, and it's a fucking good time for 3 hours. But I didn't miss out on anything. Like, my biggest fear in college was I knew that I'm pretty good at making friends. So like, I know like the first people I'll be introduced to will be my friends, right? So whether it's the druggies or whether it's like the cool kids or whether it's like the nerds, you know what I mean? Like whoever it is, right? Like those guys will be my friends. And I was always so scared about college. I'm like, fuck, like, I think you're going to pick up all these people. Like, what if I'm friends all of a sudden with like these guys who just like abusing drugs or like drinking a lot and like that just becomes my life, right? And I was so scared of that. And that's why I'm so happy that I I did this whole social media thing because I found like people that like, like doing what I do, which I guess is what college is for, is finding like-minded individuals, right?

Right.

And like finding people that do the same stuff as you.

I don't know, sort of like college, what we're going through.

Yeah, I don't, I don't think, I don't think college is a bad idea.

You're going through, I don't know, me obviously, but with all your friends of your age, I don't think college is a bad idea for, for people.

I don't really know what point I was trying to get at from here, but I feel like I was just kind of kind of circling around one point. But what I was trying to say is it's not only like, is it a waste of time to some people, but it's the biggest thing that like hits me the most is it's a waste of money. My, um, like my friend Alex was just telling me, um, he has $6 in his bank account. $6 in his bank account. And he told me this after, after he was like, after he was like, um, is Dom making a lot of money?

Yeah.

And I'm like, I mean, still not— he's still not— he's still not killing it yet. And he's like, he's like, how much does he have? And I'm like, I don't know how much he's making, but I know he has $14,000 in his bank account. And Alex is like, holy shit, your perception of money is so like skewed. Like, he's just like, you have no idea. That's a shit ton of money.

Yeah.

And it's just like, I mean, yeah, I guess it is when you're fucking— you know, he goes to college where he's paying, you know, $10,000 a semester.

What's he going to do when he graduates? What does he want to do?

He hasn't— I don't think he's figured it out yet.

That's scary.

Fucking terrifying. And he's not gonna graduate in 4 years. He's gonna graduate in 6 just to get his regular, like, I don't know, bachelor's. What do you call it?

I knew what I wanted to do. I wasted a lot of money, but I did know what I wanted to do.

Yeah, that's the scariest is when you don't know what you want to do. Yeah. But yeah, he has $6,000 in his bank account. He told me the other day he was getting gas, and you know how you like in older cars you can take out that thing that like where like the cigarette thing is? Like that lights your cigarette. There's like a little— not a cup holder, but it like holds like extra change.

Sure.

Like he took that out and he took it with him into the gas station and just spilled it out onto the desk. And him and the clerk there counted the money and he's like, you got about $5 here. So Alex put $5 in his car and as he didn't know how to count. Yeah. As he was walking to his car, the guy behind him in line goes, make that 10.. And Alex said that was like one of the best days of his month. Really? Because the guy chipped in an extra $5 for gas. And it's just like, that's fuck— that's what a college student is. And I don't know, I, I'm also in like no place to talk because I did get really lucky. So I can't just be like, don't fucking do college. I think any, any like mildly successful per— I think there's luck involved in everybody's success. Like I don't think it's just hard work. So I don't know, like Gary Vee, I think Gary Vaynerchuk, right? Doesn't he always like— I've only seen like maybe a 30-second clip of him like 4 times, but doesn't he always talk about— he doesn't like college, right?

Yeah, that's what I've heard.

Yeah. Yeah. But like, like, I don't know, it's easier said than done, I guess. But you kind of just— I don't know. I don't, I don't know what it's like to like, like if I wasn't into social media and I just, just wanted to make money. Do you know what I mean? Yeah. I don't know if it like how easy it would be to do that.

I don't know. Something tells me you probably could make make money. I know if you didn't fall into what you fell into, I know I would find a way to make money.

It's—

it's— I mean, you used to do— you should have Vine theme pages and you made money, which is really resourceful. Like, I didn't— I wouldn't have ever thought you could do that. I think I didn't know you could make money that way.

I think the way— have we talked about that on the podcast?

I don't think so.

We haven't?

No. I think it's pretty interesting too.

I think— I don't know if we have, but like, the way I first made money on Vine is I would have these theme pages that would be like like best moments of celebs or like Disney Channel or like best moments of Family Guy, like just stupid shit like that. And I would just repost videos and it's really what killed Vine. Like it was, it was, it really fucked up Vine. Like, but that, that was my income and that's the only way I moved out to LA isn't because I was making Vine money from my personal Vine account because I wasn't getting ads. Cause my content was so good.

How long did you figure out that you could make money doing that?

I figured out right away, like at like 50,000 followers I had and I was like—

Someone, someone will DM you like, hey, I have $200. $50 for a Vine or something. Yeah, when I—

like, cool. Yeah, when I was— when I hit 50K on my Vine account, someone hit me up and they're like, hey, I'm working with KFC, they're willing to give you $50 for, um, a Vine. And I'm like, are you— like, I, I think I said this on the podcast once, I was at Buffalo Wild Wings and I went back to my friends and I'm like, dude, they're gonna give me $50 to post a Vine. And everybody's faces were just like, what? Like like, it's just like, it's just like, it wasn't— I mean, it was jealousy, but it was like the coolest kind of jealousy. They were just like, holy shit, it fucking paid off. And like, it was like when I first made my first $50, everyone was like, what the fuck? And I was like fucking ecstatic. And like, and that's when I found out that you can make money on Vine in like different ways. So I started like a theme page that wasn't me so I wouldn't have to upload bullshit stuff onto my account, and I can make money off another account. And that's how I made my first $1,500 that got me to move out to L.A. But, but yeah, I don't know. It's tricky. I don't, I don't really know. I don't really know how it is moving out by your— by yourself and doing that. I don't know. I feel like if you're motivated enough to drop out of college and like you have like the balls to drop out of college for good reason, like for like not for like so you can hang out and bum around with your friends, right? But you're like, I'm going to fucking do this and you're like, seriously going to do it. Then I think you have— you'll have no fucking problem at all.

Is it— you have a lot of cologne on right now.

No, not at all.

This room, it's this room, it's very cologne-y.

Thank you. Actually, do you have cologne on? No, it's not. I mean, you could go ahead and smell me.

Do we have the same jacket on again?

We have the same jacket on again. But, um, but yeah, okay, moral of the story is, um, yeah, moral of the story, wrap it up.

I think, I think he, I think he spoke well. Yeah, articulate on the topic.

Don't drop out of college, but drop out of college if you want to.

Perfect.

I don't know.

How was your— how's your family?

Last time we went— last time I fucking talked about college, I got a fucking email from a mom. He's telling my 11-year-old daughter to drop out of college.

Yeah, that was your— you did that live.

Yeah, we did a live podcast. That's not what I'm— I don't know. Don't take advice from me.

No, take advice from you. Why wouldn't you take advice from you? You're a successful young man.

You're right. And I got here by doing tons of heroin, so—

oh geez, I'm kidding. I don't want people to know that about you. Your mom asked me not to.

Can we cut that out? Out.

Yeah, yeah, don't worry, I'll definitely take it out.

All right, what were you— what were you saying?

Take out— hold on, uh, take out heroin portion where David says he's addicted to heroin.

Yeah, take it out. Just make sure you— you don't leave it in, because it'd be fucking awkward if it's still—

don't worry, buddy, I got your back. I will not forget to take out the part where you do heroin.

I can't wait to get a tweet tomorrow from someone just being like, uh, guys, you forgot to take out the heroin part. By the way, um, should I really drop out of college?

Hey, so we're in Vernon Hills. What are we gonna do? What's the plan? See, I think you sort of owe me.

We're in Vernon Hills.

You owe me something. I fucking flew here at 5 in the morning. I woke up at 4:30.

I'm gonna treat you to Portillo's. Really?

Yeah.

Okay, ribs.

You can get ribs.

And you don't tell me what to order.

Under $10. You can get anything under $10. It sucks when you come back here, I'm ready to hang out with my friends, but they're all fucking working.

Of jobs.

Yeah, yeah, my friend works. My friend works. He's working from, um, 10 to 10:30 today at American Eagle. At American Eagle. He's gonna make like $80.

That's why he wanted me to come.

I told him, just make a KFC Vine and you're good. I was actually talking to my friends yesterday about Vine too, and like a bunch of them were like, we're gonna get on it. They're like, this is fucking it. When's it coming out? I don't know when Vine 2 is coming out.

It's not coming out.

It's probably not gonna come out. And when it comes out, it's— I doubt it's gonna be as great as Vine. I mean, it's not.

What is the plan today, David? So David's a different guy when he's in Vernon Hills, guys. He's in LA, he's all business. He picked me up today.

Oh my god, he was in a pretty good mood. It's fucking awful here to do— to get work done.

Why? You love it here.

Exactly.

It's awful here because you're in a good mood. You're a normal person. Yeah, because you're normal.

Because I just want to like— I just want to like hang out and go to Liquid Fusion. Like, last night I hung out with my friends.

Tell people what Liquid Fusion is.

Liquid Fusion is the best fucking—

I hate the way that you say Liquid Fusion and you expect everyone to know what it is. You did it to me for like the first 6 months I knew you. You're like, oh, and then we'll go to Liquid Fusion.

It's like the best like smoothie slash like boba place on earth. Like, yesterday— I love shooting and I love getting work done. Yesterday I picked up my friends at like, fuck, I don't know, 7 PM, like after I uploaded, or 7 or 8 PM. And we drove around. We went to dinner with your family? No, we went— I had Christmas Eve, Christmas Eve, because that's when our Christmas is. And like yesterday I picked up my friends, we went to Dave Buster's, we, we sat down, we had food, I ordered everyone a platter. Nice. And, and then we, we went to Liquid Fusion, and then we went over to my friend's basement and we chilled there for 4 hours just fucking talking.

Damn. Oh, you love to talk.

And it was fucking amazing. It was amazing. And I, I didn't even know where my camera was.

Really?

I had no idea. I, I left the house And I'm like, holy shit, I don't know where my camera is. And I didn't care because we were just fucking hanging out and it was the best. I was so excited.

What were you talking about?

Just about school. Apparently one of our friends got caught drug dealing from a house she was babysitting in. So she got arrested for that. That was the second time she got arrested. She's actually a really good friend of mine, which I had no idea this happened. Yeah, I mean, just a whole bunch of things. People are getting married, people are having kids, people are getting into car accidents. People are suing the government for millions of dollars. It's just like, it's just so many different things. Some people are dead now. It's just like, it's so much, so much is happening. It's so much I got to catch up on yesterday. Yeah, it was so amazing. I've been doing this thing where everywhere I go, except I didn't do it today, but everywhere I go, um, like last night I went to my friend's and I was there for 4 hours. I kept the car running while I was at my friend's for 4 hours. Why? Because when you get back in it, it's fucking warm. It's amazing. I just kept it on the entire time. I'm like, fuck it.

Yeah, that's great for the environment.

Great. Well, the gas— good job. The gas is gonna fucking get wasted anyway, you know what I mean? Yeah, it's like, it's like when my mom's like, stop buying bottles of water. I'm like, I mean, come on, everyone's gonna keep buying bottles of water. I know, I know, like, that's the, that's the idea.

Might as well enjoy this.

Yeah, that's like, I don't know, that's like, I, I feel like I sound like every other person that like wastes water. Like, if everyone stopped thinking like me, the world would be a better place. A million tweets, right? Here come a million tweets saying, just turn off the fucking water when you brush your teeth, which I never understand, by the way. That's why I don't flush it when I pee. That's disgusting. Anyway, I kept the car running because I needed to get gas.

Sure.

And, and, um, her dad, her dad comes downstairs and he's like, um, your lights are on, by the way. And I'm like, oh no, no, the car's on.

And the heat's at 80.

And he's like, oh, okay, sorry. Um, but no, Um, but that was good. I don't know, I had such a good time like yesterday just hanging out with my friends and just fucking— like, like, this is like, I don't know, this, this is like, this is like where my, like, like, you know how I can make jokes how like we're not friends?

Sure.

Like, these guys are like my OG friend, you know what I mean? Sure, sure. Like, like, I know you, I came out and like the way I met you, the way I met you and the way I met everybody else is through work. Like, I met you guys in an office space and I go and get drinks with you guys, but these guys are like the people you don't— yeah, you I never do good things, but these guys are like the people I grew up with. So like when I'm here, it's like fucking, like, you know what I mean? I get it.

Like, it's like entourage.

Like they knew you before. Yeah. Like, it's like, it's the best. I don't know. Like you can even tell I'm super fucking excited talking about it. Cause I just, I love it. Like I love hanging out with my friends.

Yeah. It's, it's very, it's, it's a, it's very dear quality about you.

And that's what I meant earlier when I said you don't know how to relax. Cause like when we're here at my friend's place, I'm, I'm willing to shut down for like 8 hours. Like, if I moved back here, I wouldn't even upload vlogs. But like, but like, no, no, no, like, I'm full of shit. No, no, no, I'm saying like, I can shut down here, but you'll be sitting there and you'll be like, I'm ready to shoot, because you don't know these people like I do. So you don't, you don't care to fucking sit around and just yap all day.

I know I had a great time last time.

I know, but you don't, you just don't, you don't have that same urge to do that like I do. And like, that's what I mean.

There's a happy medium. Go to the wax place.

It's that, and this is, this is the first time I came back to my hometown without any of you guys. Guys, right? So there wasn't a pressure of like leaving or doing the next thing. Like, I was completely comfortable with like sitting there literally for— like, I sat on the couch for 4 hours and just nothing, nothing. I wasn't even on my— I wasn't on my phone, dude. Really? It's fucking great. I don't know, this, this is— I, I fucking love Vernon Hills and it's really fucking weird. I think you're gonna move back here. No, because all my friends are gonna be gone by then. Yeah, I don't think I'm gonna move back here, but I really do love this place.

So what else is on the plan for today?

My home away from home. Well, we got to get the day started. I know, let's go. I feel like I've just been fucking yapping for like the past— like, I know that's what a podcast is. Yeah, like, I feel like I've just been— I don't know what the fuck I've talked about. I think I told everyone to drop out of college, and then I told everyone to stay in college like 10 times. Yeah, I'm sorry if I just fucking rambled about bullshit. Um, but yeah, guys, we're gonna get some portillos, some Italian beef, and then some Liquid Fusion. And we're gonna have the best day of our lives, probably get Jason's ass waxed.

Nice.

I have an idea that I don't wanna say. It's about destroying my friend's car. Okay. And getting him a new one. I just don't want, I don't know.

Don't say it.

Can I know about it? I mean, I don't know. Don't tell them about it. My friends don't have social media, so it wouldn't matter. And they actually, I don't know.

Your friends listen to the podcast, what are you talking about?

I just, I don't know. Like, I know like a lot of my friends.

Don't make me cut anything out.

I'm not. I know a lot of my friends could use like some help because you know, they're in college. So like anybody can use some money.

You're giving the whole thing away.

Stop. Yeah, you're right.

Fuck.

Unless you want to. No, I don't care.

All right, fuck it. You want to help your friends out at some bit, we're gonna help your friends out.

I don't think we'll be able to get it done today.

Why not? That's a good idea. I like that idea a lot.

Okay, we'll figure it out. All right. All right. Well guys, we gotta go. We gotta get the day started. Check out the merch. Check out— I don't think Jason talked on this. I feel like if you cut Jason's track on this— oh yeah.

Yeah, I didn't say much.

I just fucking rambled.

I'm sorry.

I think it was good. Next step is a lot to say. Next episode, it'll be a Jason Nash podcast. Yeah, we'll talk more then.

Um, but yeah, guys, I fucking came in when you could have done it by yourself. Awesome. I'm just kidding.

I had fun. I just have you like— I have you just send in ad-libs, just you going, yeah, uh-huh.

I said to you, no, we're gonna do this. I said, why don't we cut together like the best moments of the year and just do like a little thing like, what's up guys, would you guys be interested in that?

Uh, in like a best moments of the year for New Year's podcast.

Yeah, so we don't have to do this, so I don't have to fucking come back.

But I just don't think— I think that's interesting in video form, like in a compilation, but I think that'd be— I don't know, do you guys want like a best moments of the podcast in one, in one podcast?

So like a dumb idea.

It could, it could be weird, right?

Because Howard Stern used to do it and I'd be like, I heard this already.

Yeah, like you're like a real listener, you've heard it, you're excited for like the first like 10 minutes, but then you're like, okay, I already know how the story goes. Yeah, yeah. Okay. Okay. All right. Well, that's it for today's podcast. Make sure you guys like and subscribe. Tweet me @daviddobrik. Tweet him @jasonash. My name is Jeff. I'll see you guys later.

Bye, you guys.

Thanks. Bye.