My Friends Saw My Girlfriend’s Boobs

What's up guys, welcome back to Views. Jason's not going to admit—

home of the crew. Yeah, yeah, let's go Vernon Hills! My name's David Dobrik and I'm going to be getting you guys excited tonight. I know we've got a big JV basketball game and I know that I was—

I don't know what you're talking about.

They know about the crew.

What's the crew?

David was a male cheerleader in high school. I wasn't a male cheerleader. I've been informed that I spelled it wrong. It is not the crew, C-R-E-W. It is C-R-U.

I wasn't a male cheerleader. I just pumped up the crowd and I led some cheers and I wore a dress. I roll the intro music. What's up, guys? Welcome back to Views. This is a podcast that I share with my grandpa, Jason. I've actually— I don't call you grandpa enough. You know what I mean?

I mean, I love it. Grandpa means wise and good looking.

Does not mean good.

I guess it doesn't.

You're right.

It doesn't mean that at all.

Fun fact, we started the podcast. It's about 11:20. I was taking out the trash as Jason was walking up to my driveway. Trisha Paytas is sitting right next to me. Trisha, say hi.

Hi.

She's not a guest, but she's just here to monitor and make sure we don't talk shit about her. She— whenever we get out of line, I think she's going to pat someone on the shoulder and be like, hey, stop talking about that.

Oh no, she will pat you on the shoulder. Yeah, she'll just grab the mic and fucking call you an asshole.

She will. As I was taking out the garbage today, Jason and Tricia were walking up to the house and the first thing I hear, no cameras are on or anything, is Jason going, you know what, I don't like it when you stare. Oh, sorry. Wait, what was it?

I said, I know, because I don't want Todd to just stare at your tits. I think out your shirt.

Jason goes, you know what, I don't like it when Todd stares at your tits. That was the first line.

Meanwhile, you were the one that was hiding in the trash cans for some reason, hiding something in your shirt.

I was taking out the trash.

Then why were you just standing there all awkward?

Because I saw— because it was dark.

It's not trying to scare us.

Yeah, it's dark outside and I was taking out the trash. And then when I saw you guys coming, I'm like, if I don't fucking move, I know Jason doesn't have the best eyesight. Maybe he'll walk right by me.

No, it's not that bad. But I love— I love the fact that you weren't even— didn't you have a— you have a video camera in your hand? No, no, that's how real you are.

Because I was taking out the trash, right? Right.

But you still were willing to scare us.

If anything, I'd have your video camera in my hand.

Because I shoot trash.

Yeah, there we go.

You know what, David, my vlogs have come a long way.

I'm quite proud of them. Um, no, but Jason is in a bad mood right now because him and Trisha got into a fight literally 10 minutes before coming.

It's so hard when someone says you're in a bad mood.

You're right, you don't like it because you can't—

what can you say? Then you go, I'm not in a bad mood, and then people are, oh, see, I see it, you're in a bad mood. Oh, guys, in the bad mood.

That was, that was the best way to recover from being in a bad mood right there.

I don't understand why you can't— why can't we just record these podcasts on like Tuesday morning? Sure, nice and fresh. Dude, out the kitchen, as R. Kelly would say.

Guys, let's make things clear right now. We have officially— we had our best month of views. Yeah, last month we got 400,000 listeners a podcast.

Yep, 417,400 an average. Over 400,000 million streams.

That's not— I didn't even know podcasts can do that. And I just picked this huge piece of skin off my foot. Holy shit, check that out, dude. He just picked a piece of skin off his foot and it looks like a guitar pick. Like, it's the size of a guitar pick.

You want it?

No, I'm good.

You want to put it on eBay?

No, fuck off.

Trish, you want to put it in our scrapbook?

Is that real?

Yeah, it's real. Trish has a good radio voice.

Thank you, guys.

It's kind of, kind of gross. Are you eating your steak?

I'm gonna eat it.

Okay, so what's the fight that you and Trisha got into before you came up here?

Well, we spent the day together. She made me over today, which is the first mistake. Great. Yeah, we did spend the day.

We've been together 48 hours straight.

Trisha likes to do this thing where like she'll, she'll, she'll book up every minute for like 2 days.

Yeah, she'll schedule you in.

Schedule me in. So I'm like, oh fuck, I'm, I'm down. And I say yes because I always say yes to her. I'm like, yes, we can do that. Yes, we can do that. So we were just doing videos for her and I've been vlogging along the way. And then yesterday we're at a hotel, she was shooting a bunch of videos because she's got a lot of sponsorships.

You were shooting like— you were shooting her in her underwear and like lingerie and stuff.

She gets a lot of sponsorships and And so, and you're gonna rent like nice hotel rooms, which is nice, a nice hotel room. But then the other side of it is like, I have to do it now because I don't want some guy shooting her.

You know, that's so interesting, which really leads into this fight.

But go ahead.

It's so interesting because like, I always, I always saw you as the guy that wouldn't care about another guy shooting your girlfriend in underwear, right? But it's so funny that you're like turning the corner from stop being so fucking clingy to being clingy yourself. Do you know what I mean?

Yeah, I mean, like, I, I don't—

I totally agree with you, by the way. I don't— I wouldn't want another guy's underwear— sure, sure—

being shot. And this is a whole part of this relationship which I hadn't thought about.

So one of Trisha's jobs is to review sex toys on her channel. Um, it sounds pretty ridiculous, but I think that's how she gets paid, right?

She's really good at it.

She's really good.

I swear. I know, I know you're gonna make fun of me. She's so fucking good at like vamping about products. She's like, yeah, I mean, this is a little magic wand right here. Let me tell you something, I put it right on my clit and it'll do the trick. I mean, it is just no problem. You know, this one goes up your butt. And if you like it— if you like it up your butt, you can put it up your butt like that. I don't necessarily like it, but if you do, this will do the trick. Let's move over to the magic wand.

It's like QVC. It's just like QVC, just talks about one product for like 25 minutes and then the next one.

Yeah, she— well, I always say that she like should be so good on QVC selling anything. But anyways, the fight today was about— she got this Yeezy top, what she's wearing right now.

Can I just chime in real quick? Can I?

Okay, go.

Actually, no, I want to chime in. I know what you're about to say.

What?

You're saying her boobs are out.

Her boobs have fallen out about, about 75 times today.

Trisha, I'll be honest, I've had to tell you to put your boobs away multiple times.

So do you think it's an appropriate top?

Yes.

Put your mouth up to the mic, baby, if you're gonna talk, because it's good. No, we want to hear it.

I'm not saying that to Jason because I don't want to, because it's just grouchy. Like right now he's like, put your lips to the mic. I'm not here to be a guest.

No, baby, I'm just saying if you're gonna talk, we want to hear you.

It's fine. Dane didn't— wasn't right up to the mic like this.

Jesus, I know.

And it would be better if you— if you were.

This is— see, this is all the shit we talk about. It's fucking real.

I'm saying— I'm telling you that because I want to hear you, because I like your— I want your input.

David is the host. He can tell me how I should have my mouth.

Wait, so are you saying like I'm the main host and Jason is just like my sidekick?

Go stand in the corner and talk. That's fine. Yes, I did.

I also run the fucking audio, so I'm telling you, you're the sound guy and the co-host.

I'm the sound guy and the co-host. Yeah, just grab the mic if you're gonna talk.

I don't need to talk.

This is fucking ridiculous. Holy shit.

Okay, you don't want to talk.

Okay, you guys are stressing me out. Okay, so, um, is your— is your outfit revealing? Yes.

No, I didn't say that. Is my top inappropriate?

It's inappropri—

basically what it is, guys, it's a— it's a tank top. It's a gray tank top and matching gray, uh, booty shorts.

The best way to explain it—

and basically it's— it looks like something you'd wear to bed. No, only because—

because when you're in bed, you— your boobs would pop out. It looks like someone ran a rubber band around her nipples, and sometimes it slips out and sometimes it doesn't.

Yes.

So, so, so when we were— when we got into the Uber, her boob popped out. When we were at the montage getting my hair done, her boob popped out. We were at the Palm, her boob popped out. So it's like— and so on the way over, I said, like, I said, hey, you know, you gotta You got to— I'm like, you can't wear that top anymore.

Kardashian wore this exact same top multiple times out to dinner.

And, and I don't know if her boobs popped out.

Trisha just said Kim Kardashian wore this top a lot. Yeah, it doesn't look like her boobs are popping out. That also doesn't look like Kim Kardashian at all.

Is it the same exact top?

Yeah, but Kim Kardashian looks like she has things under control. Trisha, Trisha looks like, like she doesn't.

And all I'm saying is like, Oh, do you have it on backwards? Upside down?

She's been wearing it.

You have the top on upside down?

Yeah. Do you see that?

Like, yeah, I can see that. Let me see that. Yeah, see the way it is on Kim?

Yeah.

Oh my gosh, she's been wearing it upside down. That's why her nipples have been popping out.

And on the way over— this is the way I want to just— you want to slut shame me? Slut shame me? Well, this is, this is who I am. I can wear— I can have my boobs pop out all I want.

This is who I am. I'm gonna wear my shirts inside out and upside down. I don't give a fuck.

You can't I mean, why don't you just tie it around your head and walk around with your boobs out?

I mean, like, you want to say something? I don't have a response now because now I lost my argument because my top is inappropriate because it's not on the right way.

Okay, so you lost the argument.

I think I lost this one.

Okay, well, I'm glad we settled it on the podcast.

But you know what, and the point is, is just like, obviously I care about her Yeah, no, 100%.

So like, no, this is where I have something to say. He's like, it's because I care about you. What's— what's it matter if I'm naked and topless in front? Like, who cares?

Because when Todd is shooting a video, like we were with— when Todd asked us to shoot something today, your boobs are out. And it's like, Trisha, I wouldn't want—

I wouldn't want my girlfriend with her tits out in front of my friends.

But he knew what I did, what my body looks like. He knows that I post revealing pictures, that I pose naked. Like, I don't understand. Like, I'm naked all the time. I love showing my boobs. When we were in Vegas, my ass hangs out. Like, I don't understand why this is new to you today.

It's— I got it.

It's real. It's fucking real. It's—

you don't understand the difference between that. You don't understand the difference between those two things.

I don't.

You don't understand. If, if, if you were— if I was dating a stripper, right? Right. Um, and, and you— and the stripper came over to hang out with my friends, I would not want her to start stripping.

Yeah, I'm not stripping.

I know, but I understand that your job is loving your body, and it's amazing that you love your body, but don't show it to everybody else. Keep it private with Jason.

Yeah, I do. That's my point. He's like, oh, you're my girlfriend. I want to keep it special. It's not like I'm having sex with all your friends.

Well, that's— that should be our next topic.

Oh, why? What happened?

Oh, what happened? Did I have sex with someone? I was totally kidding.

I don't know.

Well, anyways, I—

yeah.

Okay, Trish is going to go change her top and we're going to go switch.

I want to see how it's supposed to look. Yeah.

Oh my God, it's her nipples out as we speak.

The name of the top is so they can look it up online.

Kim Kardashian Yeezy 6. Look it up. That's the top. And Trish is wearing it upside down. Is that—

is that the fucking funniest ending to anything? I actually wish we argued longer and then figured that out in the end. We were screaming each other in the car.

Yeah.

Yeah. And I was like, someone else's Uber. No, we drove here. Oh, the fight just started.

Oh yeah.

No, but it's just like, you know, what are you going to do? What are you going to do?

Hey, this girl named Gigi emailed us.

What'd she say?

She said her name's Gigi and she lives in Ohio and she's 18. She just graduated high school. And is a very pretty peculiar peculiar— what's that word mean, Jason?

She's a very peculiar—

no, I'm kidding. She's a very pretty peculiar situation. For 2 years of school, she's had a very good guy friend who was interested in dating her. It wasn't until I was older that I became interested, and we dated for a while. He went on to— he went on a retreat in our school and came back changed and began to talk about becoming a priest. Holy shit. After some time, we decided to stay friends so we could figure his path out because he was just because he was still feeling called. We've been just friends for about 3 months now, but we've been completely still in love with each other and have been together a lot. It's hard because we didn't break up because we wanted to, we did because we had to. What would you do? Sounds a lot like my situation. Yeah, if he wants to become a priest, there's nothing you can do. There's nothing you can do.

Yeah, it sounds like there's a lot of good men out there and this guy wants to devote himself to God.

This is a tricky situation, and if—

And make sure he's not gay.

Yeah, if priesthood makes him happy, then you really can't do anything about it because he can't. He can't.

Is that better?

Oh, she just put the top on.

It's supposed to be up. Oh yeah, that's way different. Now your boobs don't fall out.

Yeah, it's better. Yeah. Does it feel better?

I feel so stupid that I walked around all day because I was getting compliments like, oh, is that easy? And I was like, yeah. And I'm like, wearing it like, like, this is such a different look than what I was wearing today.

Yeah, now it's like, wow, are those like the super new Yeezys?

I haven't even seen them.

She was, she was all confident too. She's like, yeah, you know how a girl does, she wears her Yeezys, you know, I gotta have the latest thing. Everyone's calm. I know, why are they popping out down there?

I don't think it fits. I think that's the bottom line. I don't think this happens.

But like, when we're in the car, like, why don't you just— why do you have to argue with me? All you have to say is like—

fun fact, a lot of girls in my school got boob reductions. Oh, it was like the thing everybody would always talk about it.

Really?

Yeah. When someone was going in for a boob reduction, it'd be like— it'd be like having your bat mitzvah.

A lot of girls.

Yeah. Like, I think like 4 or 5 girls.

Really?

Reductions.

Yeah.

Big boobs was— I think it's like a thing from Verne House.

Tough on your back.

It's the water there.

Yeah.

It fills up your boobs.

I think that's why Dom's so horny.

Exactly. But we just— we just came off from our first tour date, guys.

Oh my God. What a night.

Wait, before— before I talk about the tour date, I gotta talk about something really important, um, and it has to do with Dollar Shave. Yeah, it has to do with Dollar Shave.

Oh, I love Dollar Shave.

If you've ever showered— if you've ever showered or brushed your teeth or tried to make your hair look presentable— Jason, this is— this product isn't for you. I've got good news for you.

My hair looks good today.

Dollar Shave Club has a lot of stuff to help you out. Dollar Shave Club delivers everything you need to look, feel, and smell your best. Dollar Shave Club has everything you need to get ready in the bathroom. Any particular product that you fall in love with outside of the razor and why? Oh, that's it. They want us to talk about it. I read it.

Well, listen, here's what happened with me. Dollar Shave—

I like— I love the Dr. Carver Shave Butter.

I use that. I, I've said this before, I use the razors. I've been using them for the last 3 months. By the way, when high-quality razors—

Jason uses razors, he uses to look at a Kimbo style. So he'll put one razor in one hand and one in the other, and he'll just walk around the living room pacing and just shave everything off without even using water.

That's how good the razors are. You do not need any kind of shave cream or anything.

Sure, but, but It does come with shaving cream, so don't be scared.

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I'm a big fan of their amber and lavender cleansing body cleanser. Never smelled— okay, see, now it looks like I'm fucking reading it. I genuinely am a big fan of their amber and lavender calming cleanser. Never smelled anything like it. Good luck finding a product that great at the store. Holy shit, Dollar Shave Club threatening all their— all the listeners. Good luck, motherfuckers. All of that— all of Dollar Shave Club's— I literally can't read.

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Nice, David.

Thank you. I really sped it up there to prove to everyone that I could read. At the end, I was like, fuck it, I'm taking off the training wheels and I'm going for it. We just got back from our tour.

Yeah, we were in Boston. We were in Lynn, Massachusetts on Saturday. Yeah, we had a hellish flight out. Awful fucking flight. Couldn't lie down.

Jason was flirting with— Jason was flirting with the flight attendant.

Oh, here we go. I already told her about it.

Yeah, and I brought it up with David, and David— I just— you bring this up on purpose because I'm gonna be pissed at Jason.

No, Dave, you're a good friend.

I'm kidding. You're great, man. No, no, I told her the truth. She was— she was Like 65 years old. Did you just take your hair out? Holy shit, just pulled half of her hair out. Um, no, um, no, it was like an old—

was it getting sore?

It was like an older woman.

Does it hurt after a while?

Well, these are all tapes. That was just one clip because the tape came out of my head, so I had to clip a piece in.

She took her extensions out.

And what do you do, you put it back tomorrow?

No, these are all tape, babe. I have to go get it fixed tomorrow because one slipped out anyways.

Hey, can you guys save these stupid conversations for when we're done?

Hey, why is he gonna talk about Jason?

Yeah, hey, can you not fucking— can you not create a problem that isn't there flirting with a flight attendant? I talk to her for like a minute, bro. I already talked to any female from now on, and you're gonna run to Trisha and say I'm flirting.

So you're— so you're gonna talk to any female now? I see.

Yeah, there are a lot of females in the world, and I will continue to talk. Let me— let me tell you something. The two of you— the two of you will not boss me around in any fucking way. Let me tell you something. I will fucking extract myself from both of your lives if you think you're gonna fucking push me around.

Good luck surviving without—

I'll be just fucking fine. I made it this far, baby. I'll fucking be just fine. You'll be on the kitchen floor fucking crying, and you'll have a fucking vlog that's a fucking piece of shit. So don't even fucking start. Don't cook that shit up with me. That's true.

Will you be on the kitchen floor crying?

I feel like I'm on Jerry Springer right now. You keep having this microphone in my face. Yeah, absolutely. If you ask me over.

No, no, we're good. No one's having anybody over. Let's keep this positive. We just had our tour. We went to Lynn, Massachusetts. Apparently it's not the safest city to be in. What do they call Lynn? What's that rhyme?

That little— in City of Sin, never come out the way you came in.

And like everyone was saying, every, every person, like even our Uber driver, we were like, yeah, we're going to Lynn. They're like, Lynn, Lynn, the City of Sin, you'll never come out the way you came in. We were driving, I'm like, where the fuck are we going?

We were driving in and everyone's going, oh, not so bad, that's so bad. And he goes, you're not there yet, hang on, you're not in the bad part yet.

Yeah, um, yeah, no, exactly.

The show was great, the crowd was Really good.

We had a lot of fun. Everyone had a lot of fun. We had pizza after the show.

Yeah, David was hilarious. My mom did a little bit in the top.

She was really funny. Great. Jason flirting with all the fans afterwards is great too.

You're such a— I got tweets and I screenshotted.

I'm kidding.

Holy shit. I got tweets that said, oh, Jason, like, tell Jason to stop hitting on my mom. Like, people were tweeting me while they were at the show.

You're nuts.

You're— that's what they do. That's— and that's what I do. I have to flirt. I'm a sexual being and I have to get out there And, you know, I'm a peacock that has to show his feathers. I have to flirt with everyone because I, you know, I get all my self-confidence. I derive it all from the flirting I get back from women.

Old, young, flirt. He does flirt. I flirt with the flight attendant because, you know why? You can just say, oh, you're from Boston? Cool, me too. No, he has to go, oh, you're from Boston? Oh, you're gonna park your car? You know, you don't have to start.

You gotta park your car in my pussy.

Yeah, that's what I'm saying. Todd was doing the accent and it wasn't quite right, and she was correcting him. And then I said, oh, and then she was like, okay, you're from Boston, so you know how it is. And I'm like, yeah, that's how it is. I was honestly, I was trying to get Todd a couple of free drinks. A couple of more drinks is what I was doing.

Whatever, who gives a fuck, guys? Can you shut up?

You brought it up, David. That's who gives a fuck. Don't bring the shit up if you don't want to fucking hear about it.

Well, stop flirting with fans, please.

I talked to zero fans. I mean, well, we did, did a meet and greet, so we talked to 100.

But I took a, I took a shot of tequila.

Oh yeah, we were out in Boston and everyone's drinking, and then David was like trying to get footage. He's like, let's get out of here, I don't want to be at this bar. And then someone brought him tequila and I was like, David, don't do that. And then all of a sudden all his words started to slur when he was filming.

I took one shot of tequila and I sat— I felt like I was just fucking hit by a bus. I don't drink at all.

It really affect you that much?

It affected me enough where I was tipsy. I was genuinely tipsy. One shot, one more shot, and I would have been like on the tip of drunk. Wow. Like, right, right about to be drunk. And then 3 shots, I'd be fucking plastered.

Your tolerance is really low.

Oh, yeah, it's ridiculous. I'm telling you, I get tipsy off 1 beer. Wow. I, um, there was— we had a July 4th party once, and I had half a beer, and I knocked out for 3 hours.

1 beer?

Yeah, because it, like, slows me down, and it just makes me want to nap.

I feel that way after I eat. Yeah. Um, hey, thanks for the Dove Cameron, uh, stuff last week. Yeah, most people now just tweeting Dove Cameron. Jason Nash, the old pedophile, wants to meet you.

Wait, did Dove Cameron contact you?

No, of course not. Shit. And then of course after, I went and looked up her Instagram and— well, last week David did a shout-out to Dove. I asked David if he knew Dove Cameron so Charlie could meet her, my daughter.

Yeah, last week we did— I told everybody that was listening to the podcast, hey guys, tweet at Dove Cameron because Jason's daughter wants to meet her. So they did.

Yeah, but they left the daughter part out, so it just looks like some 45-year-old guy wants to meet Dove Cameron.

Patricia's trying.

Cameron's like 20 years old, so She also has like 18 million followers, I think, which I didn't know. So now I'm like, oh well, let's forget it.

Now you're like really nervous.

Well, now, now I look like an idiot. Obviously there's— every kid in the world wants to meet her. I didn't know she's that famous.

This is, uh, my sister texted me this. She said, could be interesting to talk about on podcast. Apparently all 51 counties approved a proposal, so now people will vote in November on whether or not to split California into 3 different fucking states. Yeah, into 3 different states or 3 different counties?

3 different states. Holy shit, the counties are in this.

Yeah, what would they name this state?

Probably one is California, one is Northern California, one is Southern California. We'd be California.

Whoa, that's sick. Yeah, that's sick.

I like the ocean.

Why can't we be Hollywood or Dobrikland?

Yeah, we can try to get that on.

Can we put in an offer for Dobrikland?

Yeah, tweet it out, see what happens.

Do a Twitter poll, guys. If this gets 100,000 retweets, California just gets named Dobrikland.

I think, I think a lot of that's about like all the money up in Silicon Valley, and they're like, we don't want to pay for all your shit down here.

Oh, would it help with taxes? I think it would fuck us more.

I think, yeah, it would help with the people up north with taxes.

I'm pretty sure we got to try to avoid that then. That's a pretty tricky situation. Yeah, but tour was great. Our friends performed on it.

I can't believe David's saying that the show was good. Wow, I've never heard you say that before.

Well, I'm just saying that because I'm trying to sell tickets.

We got on the plane and David was just like, it's the fucking last time. Oh my God, I was so upset because you booked a midnight flight.

I had a mental breakdown on the flight. I was like, I don't know if I can vlog anymore. I don't know if I can. I literally, I remember it and I was like, Jason, I can't do this. I can't do this shit. I was almost fucking in tears.

Tell everybody what you're going through right now with the vlogging.

I'm having a hard time deciding. Okay, someone, this, someone tweeted this fucking shit and it really got to me. There's this, there's this thing called unpopular opinion and it's like people tweet it and they go, 'Unpopular opinion: David's a piece of shit.' Even though that would probably be a popular opinion. But— and then a bunch of people go, 'Ah, that's not true, that's not true.' And it's like a controversial opinion, basically. And someone tweeted the other day, they go, 'Unpopular opinion: I think David should stop vlogging because he should focus on other things, because he has more in him than just posting vlogs 3 times a week.' And I was like, 'Wow, that's fucking—

that's deep.' What does she think you have in you? What's in you?

I don't know, like more than just YouTube. And I totally fuck with that.

You do? Yes. What do you think?

I subscribe to it.

Like what? I don't know, like something in— you mean like curing the AIDS virus, or what do you mean?

Yeah, coming up with new vaccines. I've always been a fan of—

yeah, well, you're always tinkering in your laboratory.

I am, I am, and I'm very close. I'll have you fucking know, I am testing on apes right now.

Okay. I mean, but what else? I— first of all, I hate when people take advice from a stranger in a comment. I hate that. I hate when you let that affect you. Advice, dude, you're letting it affect you.

I've just been saying this for so long. I don't know what the next step is after YouTube, and I don't be fucking stuck in this YouTube bubble. I already don't make a bajillion dollars off YouTube anymore. Sure. So it's just like, I want to make a bajillion dollars somewhere else. I mean, a bajillion, a number.

Well, you should, you know, yeah.

it is.

Oh, well, you should just go down to two vlogs a week.

No, see, you're not getting it. You're so.

But no, no, you're not getting.

You don't get me.

No, no, don't go to your. Care about your phone.

All you hang on yourself.

Hang on. Don't go to your phone.

Go flirt with your fucking fans. Go flirt with your moms at the Views podcast.

I will listen. No one cares if you post three vlogs a week or two. Sure, no one cares.

I care.

Only you. And no one cares about you. So what I'm saying is, is just post 2 vlogs a week and then for the rest of the time work on your new endeavors. That's what you have to do.

I know, I'm listening.

I fucking hate when you don't listen to me. I'm giving you the fucking right advice, dude. I always give you the right advice. Just listen to me.

I'm listening to you.

Oh my god, it's just so simple. It's so plain as day.

When you wanted to— when you were— when you were a kid, yeah, what did you want to be when you grew up and became this old YouTuber? You want to be YouTuber?

Yeah, it didn't exist yet, but I knew I wanted to do it. Yeah, I wanted to do something creative. I want to make movies.

You want to make movies? Yeah. Are you— you think you're ever gonna make a movie?

I did. I made two movies, asshole.

No, I mean like a real movie.

I made two. Don't you laugh over there, Trish. I don't see your fucking movies.

Oh, thank you very much.

Half your age.

Okay, no, you're not. You're three-fourths my age.

Um, no, but are you ever gonna make like a movie that's like—

go buy more Yeezys.

Can you just— can you just stop?

Yeah.

Thank you, David. Jesus. No, please don't stay here tonight. She goes, I'm going to stay here tonight.

But do you want to— do you understand? Do you understand why I don't want your boobs out in front of Todd?

Okay, we're done.

Because it's because I love you.

See, you're deflecting because you know you can't make another movie.

Hang on a second. Hang on a second.

Here we go again.

I can make another movie tomorrow if I wanted to.

Okay, but you won't because you're a bitch. I make— Jason gets so defensive about when I talk about movies. I don't know why, but it's like weird.

No. I can make another movie tomorrow if I wanted to. It would— I wouldn't make any money at it. But like, the thing is, is what are you getting at? Ask me the question.

I'm not— I'm not trying to be a dick. I'm just genuinely curious if you're ever going to make another movie.

No, because I didn't make any money at it and I have two kids.

But you do realize that movies make a shit ton of money if you make the right movie.

Yeah, but so does playing the lottery if you play the right numbers.

Oh, you are such a fucking half the glass, half empty type of guy.

Holy—

who says that?

I'm not glass half empty. At all. I'm glass half full. I'm being a realist. I'm like, it's, it's truth. Like, you go make a movie and try to make a billion dollars. You try to make as much money as we make on YouTube. Go make a movie. Go ahead. It's fucking really hard. And I tried and I did it. And I'm telling you, like, I don't know, I just feel like, I just feel like, like, yeah, maybe I'll make another movie.

Okay, there's 400,000 people that listen to this podcast. Someone has to— someone's parents have to have a lot of money, right? Like, if we do the math correctly.

If you wanted to make a movie tomorrow, David, you could. We're sure you could get the money.

Guys, if your parents are watching this and they want to fund a movie, or if they work for a big studio, or if your dad happens to be Mark Wahlberg, Johnny Depp, Orlando Bloom, or Keira Knightley, please let me know. And if your dad is Keira Knightley, then also please let me know because there's something going on there.

But don't—

because she is a mother. Hold on, let me finish. Keira Knightley is— now I'm gonna go.

Don't you think the economics of movies like don't make sense too?

No, it does make sense.

It does.

If you make a kick-ass movie— I want to make a movie. I want to make a— I love kick-ass. You know, you know what my favorite movies are? Like coming-of-age, losing virginity movies. I fucking love those movies. I love the Superbad type shit. I love Accepted. I love, um, I don't like some— a lot of movies are shit. Like I'm not the biggest fan of American Pie, but I still love them. Do you know what I mean? Like I love the concept of them. Like those are the type of movies I want to create because it's just like It's so easy to watch.

Make 2 vlogs a week and start your movie career. Okay. I mean, like, for me, like, you know, when you say when you're a kid and you're like, well, what do you want to do when you grow up? And you know, what did you want to do, Jason? I said, well, I wanted to make movies. But at some point in your life you go, oh, dreams are like, oh yeah, that's like, it feels like immature to be like, well, that, that was my dream. Oh, it's like, who gives a fuck? Don't say that. No, it's true. It's true, David. It's, it's, you, you do get to the point where you're like 'Oh, that's kind of silly, that's kind of selfish, that's kind of immature.' Like, no, it's not true. It is. And it's not me quitting on anything. It's just kind of like, 'Oh, like, I want to make a movie, I want my name up there.' And it's like, and it's like, it's cool.

Why is it—

why is that not everything? It's just not.

To be honest with you, I don't want to start a fight. It is you quitting. It is you quitting on a dream.

No, that's, that's, that's you guys. Trisha, what do you think? That's, that's you guys being 21.

And what do you think, Trisha?

I agree with David. We had this discussion earlier. I was like, you should— yeah, you can. And you could, if you made a good movie, you would make my money, you would be successful at it. You never know. You could be Quentin Tarantino.

You don't know. No, it's 100%, 110%.

I— so you guys so have no idea what the fuck you're talking about right now. Both of you are so out of your element and are so wrong, a lot like Trisha's Yeezy top that she was wearing. Again, you're both wrong here. Like, because, because I have friends that are in the movie business. I have friends that like write movies for Seth Rogen. Like It's fucking hard.

Like, no one said it was easy, but knucklehead, but they don't— they said, like, oh, if anybody—

tell me, tell me, tell me. Let's say I have a great script. Sure. Say it's great. Okay. And let's say it's like I get Ryan Gosling to be in it. Okay, that'd be amazing. But like, dude, you can't— I can't get a script.

Don't get Ryan Gosling. Write a fucking kick-ass script.

Who? Get Zane.

This is what I'm gonna do. This is what I want to do. I'm not even thinking about making a movie yet, but like, what I'm gonna write— a dope— not dope, I don't know if I can fucking write, but I would love to write a good high school script. Yeah, for a high school movie or college movie, and then hire brand new actors. Go through hundreds and hundreds of auditions till I find the fucking next kids, till I find the next people that can— there are so many talented fucking kids. These— we, we're so close. To a fucking new wave of actors coming in.

And like, sure, every day there's new actors coming in.

I know, bro. And they just— they're just— they're waiting to be picked from LA. There's just a bunch of them.

And we're putting this on me about making a movie. Let's see, you've written a thing in your life. Do you even have Final Draft?

What is Final Draft?

It's the scriptwriting software.

No, I don't. I will have Natalie, my assistant, write.

I just don't think— I think it's a great topic. I mean, you could say I'm quitting, but at the same time, it's like, sure.

Why? Movies coming soon, guys. Get ready.

You love movies. David loves— tell everybody your favorite movie.

It's the dumbest movie. I'll tell them after I— fuck you, you're a dick.

I've actually never seen it, but Brandon told me it was dumb.

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Good read, Dave.

What were you saying about my movie? Oh, by the way, that, that's the last ad. We only had 2 ads today. Not making too much money off the show, but we do it for you guys.

We really do. So kick back for the next 8 minutes, guys. The next 8 minutes is gonna be ad-free.

Sponsored by Dollar Shave Club again.

Okay, go. Oh no, you— I know you have my favorite movie that you love that I've never seen. I'm actually gonna go watch it because you say it's so great.

It's about time.

One thing you might not know about David, everybody, is he's quite—

he's a fucking bitch.

He's quite the romantic. I am. You really are. I love it. It's an endearing quality. Romantic movie. We had a funny conversation last night in the car where we were talking about guys and girls, and we said, oh, David always takes the woman's side. In, in the argument. Yeah. And David said, no, I take the right side.

I mean, it's true, I do.

I— you often do.

Like, if I have a fight with Trisha and I've taken Trisha's side—

you take Trisha's side a lot.

Yeah, because as crazy as she seems, there are some things that sometimes do click in her brain.

She—

he sticks up for you a lot, even when he like doesn't agree with me. He's always like, I can see where you're coming from. Like, that's why I love David so much. Like, he, he understands. Like, oh, I can see where you're coming from, but it's not like that. And then I'm like, oh, okay. That's why I listen to David more than—

because, because I have, I have a portion of the clinginess gene that you have, so, so I can relate to it. And that's why— but I know it's wrong. I know it's not the best to be clingy, so that's why I go, I could see where you're coming from, but society doesn't want us like this, right? But like, society doesn't want us clingy.

But you would— you said you could see why I would want to go through Instagram DMs.

Yes, I could see that, because I was like a guy who wanted to go through someone's messages, but then I had to learn that it was not the fucking right thing to do, and I don't do that anymore.

I don't understand, but okay.

I know you're gonna say I don't do that anymore.

Yeah, I know.

Oh no, I still do it.

Um, you should be reading. I'm looking for new furniture for like my outside patio.

You got a new couch? Shut up!

I was gonna fucking get to that.

Oh, sorry, sorry, my bad.

You ruined it. Fuck this. Um, no, I was looking for outdoor furniture, and, and, um, we bought— I had my eye on this $7,000 like couch for outside. And I'm just like, I can't do it. I can't afford that. It's too expensive. You may have seen in Jason's vlog where I was like, I can't buy it. Yeah. So my assistant went out and bought a $2,000 couch for the outside. Turns out it sucked. We hated it. We're returning it.

So why did you— why did it suck?

You can go sit on it. Okay. It's still out there.

Just sucks. It's uncomfortable.

So yeah, we're returning it. Dude, a fucking centipede just ran right by us. It's on the floor. It ran right by me and it went under the couch.

You don't like bugs?

I don't like ones with fucking 300 legs on them. Um, no, so, so now we're returning— I can't believe I'm not burning the house down right now. I can't believe I'm just continuing the podcast. You're good. Um, yeah, so we're returning that couch, and, and I, and I was like, I shouldn't get the $7,000 one because it's expensive. I should look around. So we went to another store called Restoration Hardware, and it's a pretty expensive store, but I'm like, let's go, I want to go compare other couches at that price. So I get there, and I, and I go to the lady, I'm like, where is your outdoor furniture? And she's like, it's upstairs. I'm like, okay, cool, thanks. And she's like, hold on, hold on, hold on, you may want to try to sit on our cloud first. I'm like, excuse me? And she's like, the cloud, it's our most popular couch. I'm like, it's okay, I have a couch for inside of my house, I'm just looking for outdoors. And she's like, no, no, no, no, no, confident. She's like, no, no, no, you're gonna want to try to sit on this. And I'm like, excuse me, bitch. So I'm like, okay, fuck this. So I went and I sat down on the cloud or whatever, and I shit you not, I shat myself. I was like, what the hell is this? If there was a camera on me, guys, it is literally like sitting on like cotton candy. It was the best couch I have ever sat my ass down on. It was amazing. And, and it took me 10 minutes to decide to buy it. So I really— yeah, I was like, is it leather? It's linen. Linen. Yeah. And it's $10,000.

And what'd she say when you said, okay, I'll buy it?

She's like, perfect. And she fucking left. She left and she had me check out with someone else. Like, she was all sweet and nice to me. She's like, come check out the cloud. And then I'm like, fuck, okay, I'll check out the cloud. And then, then right when I said I'm down, she's like, okay, here you go, fill this out. And then I— and then she left on to fucking the next person.

What a salesperson.

Incredible. But I'm telling you, it's the best couch, guys. I know I sound like a fucking maniac. But, um, if we ever have the pleasure of becoming friends in real life with one of the listeners and you come over to my house and you can sit on the couch, you'll experience it and you'll, you'll know why I paid so much money for it. When to come? Saturday. But we have to sell this couch, guys. If anybody wants to tweet me actual offers for the couch I have in my house right now, there is a homeless guy that broke into my house once and he took a shit on this couch and it is still the same couch. If anybody wants it, I'm gonna put it up for $1,500. No shit stains though. We watch those. How much did you pay for the couch? $2,000.

Oh, you only paid $2,000 for this?

Yeah, it's pretty nice, right?

Yeah, it's really nice.

Thank you. Well guys, I mean, that's it for the Views podcast.

Yeah, we're coming to an end here. We're gonna be in Fort Lauderdale on July 14th.

Florida next. Join us there. Yeah. Yeah, it's fun. And definitely, I— sorry, I don't want to plug any other— I don't want to do this, but go buy tickets to the Chicago show. Like, if you're— Chicago is my hometown and I'm really excited for that.

That's the one Trisha will come to if she comes at all.

Maybe. I know I will only come— I'm not coming because you know why? You have— you're making out with another girl on the clip, and I was gonna tell Joe, but I didn't want to make it awkward. But tell Joe to edit that. They have a montage before the show where Jason is making out with this old lady, and I don't like it.

Okay, Taylor's mom. It was a bit from his vlog.

We'll take it out.

Will you replace it with a clip of me?

Yes.

Well, all right, I'll come to Chicago.

Okay.

Um, yeah, go get your Yeezy tops, guys.

Buy tickets to the tour. Like I said, I said on the tour, and I'll say it here too, it's, it's, it's so nice because when you go to like a Shawn Mendes concert or like a One Direction concert, you know that it's gonna be a good show. But when you come to our show, you literally have no fucking clue. It could be, and it could be the worst fucking show you'll ever see. And that's what's so cool about it, is you get to experience it with us because we don't know what the fuck we're doing. And neither do you guys know what you're doing there.

So I'll take a turn pitching the show now. The show's really great and well organized and thought out, and we did a really good job setting up the show. And Zane came out, we did a really good job, Scott performed.

We announced the show like 3 months ago and we planned it.

We did, we did a great—

we announced the show an hour and a half before— or sorry, we, we like came up with the show an hour and a half before it started.

Dude, give yourself some credit. Like No, people, it was funny.

People had fun.

It was really good.

It's not my type of show. I would never pay to go see it. But that's why it's—

I can't believe I would. I would pay to go see it. David's hilarious. I think David's hilarious.

And I go see it because I want—

because I want honest people out there.

If you're on the fence of seeing our show, go see it just so you can give us honest opinions. Because I find that so fucking interesting, especially if you don't really like us.

Do you know when you do that, you undercut— you know who I think about? I think about that. That couple, that 26-year-old married couple that came and met us, you, you're undercutting them. Like, those, those people came to the show, they fucking loved it, and now they're gonna listen to this and they're gonna be like, oh, I guess David thinks it's shit.

I know that's not what you're saying. What was that?

Still is my fireplace saying get the fuck out of here.

But when you can't do that, because then, then it's like you're, you're You just ruined their amazing Saturday night. They drove from Minneapolis. Listen, what?

The last show was a good show, but I'm just saying, in the future, you never know, okay? The next show can be shit, and that's why I want people to come do it, to experience it.

How much money is it?

$35 a ticket. $35 a ticket, unless you want the meet-and-greet. It's like $159 because we like charging up the ass for, for people to meet us. It wasn't our idea for the tickets to be that expensive. But when, when fucking your agents and your managers and your mothers and your fathers want a cut of your—

My mother's getting a cut. She's getting a big cut. She's making meatballs for everybody, so it's costing money.

Hey, can I read you this? This has been a Views podcast.

I'll read it next week, I guess.

And we'll see you guys later. My name is Jeff. Bye, guys.