I Couldn't Put This on YouTube

Hey guys, what's up? It's Jason. Hope you're well. David and I, we had some audio problems this week and— oh, hi Link, how are you? And basically, yeah, there's some distortion. We were gonna scrap this whole podcast, but we really liked it, so we're deciding to put it out. We're sorry about any audio difficulties that you may go through during listening to this podcast. Link, can you stop? I'm recording, miss. Thank you.

Thank you.

No, she's a good girl. Anyway, it won't happen again. We're actually moving to a studio next week, so we should have crisp audio in the future. So enjoy the podcast. All right, love you guys. Thanks. Bye.

What's up guys? Welcome back to Views, the podcast where Jason isn't my friend anymore because he threw a box of granola crackers at me. Go ahead, tell everybody.

The way you spin lies to your audience. If they only knew what a monster you are.

It's our audience. It's our audience. But I see how selfish you are.

I'm talking about your vlog. Oh yeah, okay, okay. Yeah, that would be— so I, I know it's our audience.

Yeah, and if people like me better anyway, if people knew your secrets, Jason, you wouldn't have a job. You wouldn't have a career.

Oh really?

Yeah.

Oh, okay, go ahead.

Why don't you tell everybody about your 3 testicles?

Okay, I'll finally come out with it if that's what you want to do tonight.

If that's what you want tonight to be about, I want to hear all about it. Go.

Well, there was a young boy who needed an operation. Okay, he had too many testicles.

Yes.

And in order for him to live The fourth testicle had to be transferred to me. And if saving a young boy's life, if saving a young Iranian boy's life from a war-torn country is wrong, David, if having three testicles is wrong, yeah, well then you know what, David? Fine, shoot me. Take my YouTube channel, take everything, take this podcast.

I don't have to be here doing this. And fine, fine, fine. What? Question, why couldn't the Iranian boy just get rid of the other testicle? Why did he have to hand it off to you?

Because, David, the third testicle holds a cure for many of the world's diseases, and I'm holding it in my body.

Oh, that's why you masturbate so much.

I have to masturbate.

You're trying to get the cure out.

That's right, that's right. When you barge in on me.

Yeah, you're working.

That's exactly right, I'm saving lives. Lives. Oh my God, you understand that?

No, I didn't get it at the time.

And I want to say to little Mutu, uh, in Ireland— oh, the guy's boy's life who I saved— I hope you're doing well with your 4 testicles. And I've got your friend here. And while we are a world away from each other, we will always be brothers.

All right guys, roll the intro music. All right guys, that was the intro to to our podcast. So we do that same exact intro every time the podcast starts. If you're new, um, that, that's, that's all scripted. It's, uh, it's the same thing.

We just read off by Aaron Sorkin.

We just read off a script and it's the same damn thing every time.

Um, David threw the crackers at me, by the way.

I just want to jump in there and say that I threw the crackers at him, but that's because he called me a piece of shit.

No, no, that's not what happened.

Oh no, yeah, I called you a piece of shit.

You called me a piece of shit. He walked in, we just had the house cleaned by Chicky, and he grabbed graham crackers and he threw them at my head. Yeah, yeah. And the The thing is, I walk in and he goes, go get the fucking laptop, take the ads up.

Tell him why, tell him why, tell him why I did that.

I don't know why.

Because I'm a savage. Tell him.

Because you're a savage?

Yeah.

Oh yeah, you're definitely a savage. But you, maybe, maybe you could get the ads up once in a while. No, why is— I'm doing the audio, I'm controlling the audio, making this podcast, making sure this podcast sounds great.

Because I was resting.

Oh, I see. Well, really, wouldn't you think I'd like to rest? Don't you think I need rest a little bit more than you since I'm twice your age and you bring it up all the time? Exactly.

You're 44. You've gotten to rest a lot. You've been resting the first 39 years of your life.

Yeah, you know what, just interesting math that you do around here. Anyway, guys, sick of it.

I'm David and this is my not so good friend. What'd you fucking say?

I think— what?

What'd you say?

Nothing.

No, say it to my face.

I said Liza's a wonderful YouTube channel.

No, you said Liza's gonna break up with you. You said— no, you said my girlfriend's gonna break up with me tonight.

What?

You said—

no, I didn't. Yeah, I didn't say that.

Well, guess what?

She's done with you. What?

Well, guess what? Your wife? Yeah, she's gonna remarry you. Oh no. Yeah, I said it. I fucking went there.

You know what, David? You know, it's sensitive right now that she's— this is her 6th week gone.

Oh yeah, Jason's— was she back?

Yeah, she knows. She decided she needed to go to Africa on a safari.

No, she's been in London for like 4 weeks. Jason's been taking care of the kids.

2 weeks, to be fair.

2 weeks, to be— but Jason's gone crazy.

Yeah, it's, it's not really— I'll put on me. I'm just not a good father. I just don't have the patience.

Surprise, surprise.

They just talk. They talk to me all the time.

Cat's out of the bag.

We were in, uh, we were in Logan Airport last night, and, uh, she— Wyatt goes, uh, Wyatt goes, oh, this is where you guys filmed that thing where you used suitcases as scooters. And then Charlie goes, oh yeah, it's Scott FaZe Planet. And then she was like, wait, was he drunk? And then I was like, oh yeah, he probably was. Like, I didn't even think of it either.

Um, so what were you saying about your son earlier, that he, he likes to talk to when you're lifting heavy objects?

Oh my God, anytime you're lifting something heavy, he'll start just asking you the dumbest questions. We were in the airport last night, I'm carrying all his shit, his ukulele, and he's like, "Oh, Daddy, do you think I should do the extra credit report this week?" That's exactly how he sounds, dude. That's exactly what he sounds like.

He's very delicate.

Yeah, he's very delicate.

You gotta be careful. New Year's just happened, it was just around the corner. Jason came to Chicago, he visited for like a day, not even, just came for the—

I went to Chicago twice in one week.

We had a big New Year's party at the Gottfried. Godfrey Hotel.

Yep.

Um, it was, it was a blast.

Yeah.

I mean, I, I, Eliza and I went home, um, at around 10:30.

Yes.

Eliza got sick. So bad food. Uh, yeah, food poisoning.

Got some food poisoning. Not from the Godfrey though.

No, no, no. Yeah, she's got, she got food poisoning.

Um, yeah, someone tried to poison her.

Yes. So we were, we were, uh, we were in bed by 10:30, which is totally fine with me because you know how much I hate parties. Um, it was in, it was funny though because it was an hour and a half before midnight and everyone was still downstairs. Um, but yeah, that was fun. We had a good time.

It was nice you guys got to bring a lot of people with you. Yeah, I invited Jonah, came Big Nick, came with his special room. Yeah, they gave him, which he loved because he's handicapped. Because he's handicapped.

Yeah, that was really nice of them.

That's awesome.

Yeah, he was having fun.

I actually hung out with Big Nick a bunch.

Oh, on accident?

Well, sort of. You ditched us. And then there was one moment where there was like something going down in Scott's room. Someone's like, oh, something's going down in Scott's room. We were like kind of buzzed or whatever, like, ah shit, let's go. And then like we started to like— it was just me and Big Nick.

Yeah.

And then I realized I was like, just had left him completely in the dust because he can't run as fast.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. We were playing basketball with Big Nick.

How was that?

Yeah, it was good. It was good. He needed to rest up a little bit, but I mean, it was good. And it's so funny because like I was going hard, right? I don't fuck around when it comes to basketball. Oh, because Big Nick, by the way, is like a dwarf. I was gonna say little dwarf, but that doesn't make sense. He's a dwarf.

Yeah, that'd be a redundant statement.

Yeah, yeah.

Little dwarf. Yeah.

And, um, we were playing basketball with him, and I started like guarding him.

David goes hard on the court, I'll give you that. The first time I saw David play basketball, I said, fuck, because I thought you were just a dork. I thought you were just a dork that knew how to make videos.

No, man.

But then when I saw your athletic prowess—

I sport it down when I need to sport it down.

He's good at basketball. He'll even go up against J-Boys, who's like 6'5".

Um, so I, I, so I was playing Big Nick, and like I started guarding him like a regular human. And everybody was like, oh, what the fuck is he doing? What the fuck? Like, guys we don't know, they were just like, oh dude, what are you doing, man? Lay off him. And I'm like, he's on the opposite team. I'm gonna fucking treat him as an equal. Yeah, I'm not gonna treat him any differently. So I swatted the fucking ball out of Big Nick's hand and I fucking went and got a layup.

What is wrong with you?

Best win of my goddamn life. I mean, dude, if he's gonna play with the big boys, he's got to play with the big boys. Dude, you just—

all you have to do is lay off a little bit.

Dude, it's the same thing.

You do the same thing when you play with Wyatt. You beat the fuck out of him.

Yeah, because I'm not gonna lose. I'm gonna look like a loser. Listen, how about I'm never gonna lose to a kid?

You know what, you're too savage.

I am, and I've been telling Big Nick that when we were on the court. I'm like, Big Nick, just so you know, I'm turning it on. It's gonna be litmus here. I told him it's gonna be very savage.

I've never heard that term. It's gonna be—

um, okay, so this is what happened, guys. Let me, let me backtrack a little bit. Um, I had a situation that I, that I couldn't put in the vlog. Um So I do this thing in my videos where I paint people's walls. And like when they're out of town, I go into their room. None of you guys know about this because I kept it a complete secret because I couldn't put it on the vlog. I go into someone's room and I paint their wall and it's usually a portrait of me on the wall. I've done it to Scott and I've done it to Todd. And on Todd's wall, it was me having sex with Todd, like naked, whatever. And I decided to do it to my friend Jonah and Vardan. Jonah is an Armenian boy and his little brother is named Vardhan, and he's 11 years old. And I wanted to do it to them, so I had them sleep over at my house. And I, I hired the— I called the artist to come do the house as they were sleeping, and he wasn't responding to my calls. He said he was down to do it at like 6 PM. He's like, I'll be there at 9. And I'm like, okay, sounds good. I took him out of the house at like 8:30. I was like, come now, whatever. Um, he says, on my way, at around 9:30. So I'm waiting for him to get there. Like, I'm staying up, obviously. It's still only 9:30, and no No response. And I just, you know, I keep waiting for a response. No response. Nothing's coming back. The artist seems like he's about to flake on me. And I stay up and it's 4 AM at this point. I'm just waiting. Jonah and Vardan have fallen asleep like maybe 2, 2 and a half hours ago. And I finally get a text from this guy and he's like, I'm so sorry. Like I messed up. Like I just got really tired. I just knocked out. I've been working all day, which is totally fine. It's totally normal. Like I get it. And I'm like, dude, it's all good. Let's still get it done. Let's get it done right now. I'll stall him in the morning. And he's like, okay, fuck it, let's do it. So he Ubered to my house— sorry, to the Vardan and Jonah's place at like 4:30 in the morning, 5 in the morning.

Who let him in?

Jonah's sister. And she was in on it. The entire family was in on it except Jonah and Vardan. And I gave him specific instructions. I said, paint me I said paint me with a bunch of lions next to me, like white lions, white tigers, and then paint me in a huge king's throne. And I want Vardhan in a beautiful princess outfit, like looking like Cinderella. And then I want Jonah to be like a really fat, like, joker, like jester. Yeah, the guy who like entertains the king. And it'd just be like this funny, funny painting on the wall. And I wanted it to cover the entire wall. Anyway, Okay, now it's around 7 AM, no, sorry, it's around like 6:30 AM, I get a text and he's like, we're good to go, I'm starting the painting, we've moved everything, and I'm starting to paint. So I'm like, this is awesome, great, he's painting. And like noon comes around, and I'm assuming that it should be, you know, it should be already done by now, so I text him, I'm like, hey, is the painting done? And he's like, not yet, man, I'm putting on the finishing touches, this is gonna be lit, this is gonna be amazing, I'm so excited for you to see it. And so I'm like, fuck it. I took Vardan and Jonah out to eat for breakfast. This was my posting day too, so I was really wasting my time here. So it's 2:30 PM and I'm like, okay, it's time to go back to their place and show them the wall. And I got to their place. I got my— the way I do it is I go in first and I record my reaction live on camera. And I met with the artist and he's like, you're gonna love it, you're gonna love it. And I walk into there, the artist is in the other room, and I open my eyes and it's absolutely not even remotely close to what I said I wanted done. I mean, like, it's hard for me to explain.

What'd you pay him?

I didn't pay him anything.

He didn't?

It was, it was for, it was for the shout-out, or yeah, it was, it was for the shout-out, and, and it was nothing remote. Like, it was, I mean, like, you guys have to see it on video, like, how it looks. Yeah, it was completely different than how it was supposed to look. To the point where I— it was, it was, it was awful. It was, it was— he's a good artist, and— but it was just a different style of painting. It was super abstract and it didn't make any sense.

There's no lions.

It genuinely— I mean, you saw it, it didn't make any sense. You didn't know what you were looking at. No, no, no, no. And it wasn't even the entire wall, it was like one-fourth of the wall.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

It was very tiny.

He fell asleep again?

No, no, he didn't. And, um, and this, this painting took him like over 6, 7 hours, and I'm And I'm sitting there and like the second I open my eyes, I go, oh my God. Holy cow.

Yes.

Because he's sitting in the other room.

I wish I could have been there to see your reaction. I can tell when you're faking it.

He's sitting in the other room and I'm like fucking pretending this is the most amazing painting I've ever seen. And then after I like get on my fake like, yes. Yeses out. I go, I go, fuck, like, I don't know what to fucking do. I don't know what to do. And then I invite my friend Scott in the room, and Scott comes in, he opens his eyes, and he goes, ah, Todd, come in here and give David a reaction. Because it was brutal. Like, I mean, guys, it looked nothing like it. So I had to— so then, so then I told them, I whispered to them, I'm like, guys, listen, the artist is in the other room. We have to, we have to act like this is amazing. I don't want to hurt his feelings. So they're all like They're all like, yeah, wow, this is incredible. Holy shit. We went outside, we high-fived him. We're like, that was amazing. And then I went to go grab Jonah and Vardan from the car because I was gonna surprise them now. Now it's their room. It's time for them to see it. And, and yeah, and I grabbed— like, before I grab him in the car, I go up to Jonah, the older one, and I go, hey, listen, I painted your wall. It didn't turn out anything like I wanted it to. The artist is still in the house. Please act like you love it. Just act like you love it. And he's like, no, fuck that. I'm gonna tell him it sucks ass. I'm like, no. No, just act like you love it. He got in the room and he was just like, he was like, wow, holy shit. And then his little brother got in the room and he goes, oh my God. And then like 2 minutes later, his little brother goes, I wish you would have painted something else. Even his little 11-year-old brother didn't like it. And then his mom walks in and his mom goes, ah, is anybody hungry? Like she saw the painting for the first time, did not care for it at all. So, okay, so at this point, The painting is awful, nothing like what we wanted it to be, and I can't put it in my video because I've had different artists do an amazing job, like on the wall, so I don't wanna put a worse painting up, like it has to keep improving itself. That's the whole point of any video. And I texted him after we left and I'm like, dude, I have two options here. I can pay you for your time, which I'm totally okay with, you tell me how much it costs, or I can post the video and I can tag you Or I cannot tag you, but I'm gonna make fun of the painting. And I'm gonna explain to people that it's not how I wanted it to turn out.

And what'd he say?

And he's like, I told him, I'm like, I don't want to tag you in it because I don't want to associate you with the painting. But he didn't understand. He didn't get it.

What did he say?

He's like, no, he said, I feel really embarrassed for not doing what you wanted me to do. And I'm like, yeah, dude, that's fine. It totally happens. That's why these paintings are so crazy. It's because like I give you full permission to do whatever you want, basically. And then yeah, I told him, I'm like, yeah, I'm just not gonna post it because it's just weird. And then he texted me like 2 days ago and he goes, yo man, when are you gonna post it? I want to post a timeline of me doing it. So now I'm stuck and I don't know if I should post it or not.

He wants to post a timeline. What does that mean?

He wants to post like his version, like behind the scenes of it. I'm sorry, that was a really long story, but like—

No, that was a good story.

Thanks. I just thought it's It was a good story. Thanks for cheering me up.

Can you stop for a second? I just have all this Google Home stuff behind me that I have to move. I'm so sorry.

Are you promoting Google Home?

Oh, yes.

But yeah, but now I have this painting that's not the best, and I have to post it, and I feel really bad because we just talked trash about it.

But I don't understand. He doesn't get it? He didn't understand?

He doesn't understand that it's bad, and he doesn't understand that—

Just tell him that there's no throne, there's no tigers. That it doesn't look like the people.

No, I didn't. I didn't want to offend him. I was so nice to him. I'm like, dude, it's fucking great. It's just, it's just not what this vlog needs right now.

You probably needed to explain to him the details, and it wouldn't have hurt his feelings because he's an artist. I'm sure he's heard it a million times.

I think I will. Okay, and I think I will explain it to him. I don't know, I'm just really nervous. But, um, yeah, you have no problem being an asshole to me. Well, yeah, but I don't see why you can't tell this guy. You know what I would love to I was going to tell this guy.

What?

Is that squarespace.com?

That's a huge ad for us.

Yeah. Is it? Is it?

They're big. It's a high-level brand. It's a brand that people respect, admire, and know about.

We really appreciate the support on these podcasts. Cause I mean, we're getting, we're getting companies like Squarespace to come on board and for free trial, when you're ready to launch, you can use the offer code views to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain.

I was thinking about the listener and Squarespace. Yeah. A lot of high school kids, a lot of college kids. I realized we have so many college kids. This is perfect. Maybe you're gonna—

guys, Squarespace, you can make your own website. Bottom line, you make your website.

Maybe, you know, you guys want to sell some cookies here in the high school, you want to raise some money.

It's a really easy website to create cool websites. Like, that's what it is.

Yeah, I don't know anything about code, and it's cheap.

It's—

I can go on there and build myself a JasonNash.org.

Yeah, it's like— it's so simple. It's like, it's literally like, I'm like, if you were a middle schooler and you have to put together a website, you go on Squarespace. It's just, it's just, it's, it's 10% off your first purchase. Purchase with the promo code VIEWS. It's really amazing. You can sell products and services on there, announce upcoming events, uh, talk at the same time as your podcast co-host.

That's fine.

Give me some time.

I think people like both of us. Yeah, we can talk at the same time.

I go for it. Beautiful templates created by world-class designers, everything optimized for mobile right out of the box, and it's 24/7 award-winning customer service. You really can't go wrong, guys. Make it yourself. Easy. Create a website by yourself.

It's— that's the main thing, guys.

Guys, destiny's calling. I'm not letting Jason talk. Go for it, Jason. No, destiny's calling. It says you need a new website. Make it with Squarespace, guys. Use promo code VIEWS for 10% off your first website. That's it, guys. That's that. Squarespace, our new, uh, it's a hot read. It's amazing. Shout out to Square. How was your New Year's, by the way? How was your Christmas? How's your Hanukkah? How was taking care of your kids?

I, I heard that you don't have Christmas. I talked to one of your friends. I was at, uh, what the fuck does that mean? Oh yeah, Dima drove me home in Chicago one night and he was like, uh, so, uh, from Christmas? Yeah, he's like, how was your Christmas? It's like, oh, it's pretty good. And he goes, uh, what did David say about Christmas?

What do you mean?

And I go, I don't know, he didn't say anything. He goes, yeah, because, you know, we— I don't celebrate Christmas. And I go, oh, oh, he goes, yeah, our Christmas is in January. And I go, oh, cool, cool. He goes, yeah, he goes, what did David say about Christmas? I go, well, I think he said he, uh, as a matter of fact, you know, yeah, he said he didn't do anything on Christmas, but they did something Christmas Eve.

Yeah, we celebrate Christmas on Christmas Eve.

Yeah, it's just, and like, it was like this moment where we were like, that maybe like you were hiding something, like, like you were embarrassed to tell your non-Slavic friends that maybe you don't do Christmas on the same day.

Oh, you were in the car and you're like, Dima, so you're saying this prick celebrates in January?

Not at all, but that was the tone of the conversation that like Dima brought it up. Dima was the one saying it like David's not proud of who he is. Like, that was the underlying theme of what Dima was saying.

My friend Dima, guys, by the way—

I don't give a shit when you celebrate Christmas, if you do or you don't.

Yeah, my friend Dima—

he's trying to hold you down.

He's crazy. He has 7 tickets that are outstanding right now that I used to pay for. Driving tickets.

Yeah, yeah. He still has his license.

No, he hasn't lost his license, but he's in collections now because he's not paying the tickets.

Well, how much money does he owe?

He owes, I think, over like $2,000 in tickets.

And he can't pay it?

No, he doesn't have a job? Yeah.

Why don't you— why don't you surprise him? I paid his tickets.

You're right, I should. Great way to put me on the fucking spot.

Great YouTube.

He listens to these podcasts.

That's the main thing that's going on in society right now is people can't pay their tickets. I don't know if you know that.

Oh, is that a thing?

Yeah, it's everywhere. What? Yeah.

For what kind of tickets?

Donald Trump is ticketing people.

For what?

You know, bad, bad fashion sense or whatever.

What?

Wearing shoes that are too big.

Really? Yeah. Wow. Does he ticket people for bad jokes too?

Yeah.

Because you got a big one coming.

I got a bunch. I thought you were gonna go with me on that.

You got a fat fucking fine coming. What the hell are you saying?

Thanks for sending me in a rocket out into the middle of the the fucking field.

Yeah, Donald Trump is ticketing a bunch of people.

Don't let that catch on fire.

I hate when you point things in the room where the people listening to our podcast don't know what you're talking about. It doesn't fucking matter.

You make the podcast so difficult. People are here with us, they understand.

Podcast listeners, what, what, what is Jason talking about right now? Take a guess. I'm—

David, move the light. It's a, it's a light that we use to shoot videos, and he's got it on the ground. I just don't want it to catch fire.

Oh my God, it's an—

or it can be organic, David. You can say stuff on the podcast. Is it necessary to say, yeah, I don't want to get it lit on fire tonight?

Why? Because you don't want a good vlog on Friday?

That's why. You know what, I cannot live this life anymore. It's a new year. We don't have to— we don't have to make bad things happen so we get good content.

Let's talk about this. Let's fucking get to the—

pick the light up first.

Let's talk about this.

Happy to talk about it. Just pick the light up.

You're such a You know what, I'm turning it off because you don't deserve a light. I turned it off.

You happy now, guys? We're sitting in the dark. He has a fucking red chamois on him. David's always in a blanket.

What's touching my— what's rubbing against my penis right now?

I didn't talk about your penis. I said you had a red chamois on you.

No, I was trying to make a joke because you said we were in the dark and I thought you were going to take over and be like, I'm sorry, you just got a fucking ticket. Yeah, I got a big ticket. Let's talk about the obvious. This is what probably everybody wants us to talk about.

I can't stand you.

No, not that. Logan Paul was in the news the other day.

Oh God, yeah.

And I mean in like in the fucking news.

What happened?

He was on YouTube.

I don't know, I don't follow these things.

Um, well, what happened is Logan Paul went into the Suicide Forest in Japan. That's what it's called, it's a nickname, I guess. Suicide Forest.

And how many people commit suicide there every year?

I don't know, I read, I read numbers from like hundreds to—

I don't know, who's a YouTuber, a good friend of ours. He went to the suicide forest, right? Yeah, did a similar video.

He did like a Ouija board video. Anyway, Logan Paul came across a dead body hanging from a tree, and he posted it, and he was seen laughing around the body, right, and making jokes. And fucking— I mean, everyone is on his ass. Like, it's— it seemed like—

it would seem like the first time, because we know when something on YouTube happens that the mainstream media really hooked into it.

Yeah, I mean, everybody, like the big actors, sunk their teeth into it. Like everybody was, was trashing Logan Paul and like, fuck this guy, fuck this guy.

Aaron Paul, Zach Braff, Chrissy Teigen. Chrissy Teigen said the smartest thing.

What'd she say?

Anyone? She said the best fucking thing. And I don't know Chrissy Teigen, I don't even know who she is really. I know she's married to John Legend. She said something like, before you— like, we don't need to end this guy's career, we don't need to fucking hang this, just don't watch just don't watch him. Yeah, you know what I mean? We don't need to go through all these histrionics.

I, I don't want to dig into what was wrong about it and like how I feel about it because I just don't— because it's, it's, it's been going on for so long. Like at this point all I see is about it and I feel like everyone, everyone's weighed in on it and everyone's pretty much on the same page and it's just like, that was wrong, he should have done that, he apologized. I don't know how, you know, how real his apology was, whatever, who cares. Um, my, my, my question is is— I was actually— I was asking this to another YouTuber— is do you think this is gonna help him or hurt him?

Oh yeah, I don't think it'll hurt him in any way.

You don't think it's gonna hurt him in any way?

I don't know. We talked about this last night, me, you, and Brennan, because nobody ever fucking goes down. Like, nobody. I mean, unless you like rape somebody or murder somebody. Yeah, everybody comes back. There's no bad press. It's the oldest showbiz maxim. There is no bad press, none. And, and, you know, fucking crazy. It's crazy. It's crazy.

I was telling Brandon, I'm like, Brandon, is this a situation? Is this a situation? Did Logan get himself in a situation where Kim Kardashian got herself into a couple years ago where she released her sex tape, right? And it was, it was negative, but she turned it into a positive. But, but Brandon made a really good point, which I was stupid and I didn't get. He was like, yeah, but a sex tape doesn't hurt anybody, and this hurt a lot of people's fucking I mean, feelings, and it hurt.

Who did it hurt? I mean, I mean, like, I guess it hurt suicide people that have gone through suicide. No, it lost people to—

or anybody with mental illness, or any—

yeah, anybody with mental—

everybody on the planet knows someone with that mental illness. That's just how it is. Like, everybody knows someone who's depressed or who's, who's not, you know. It just— it hurt a lot of people. It fucking affected a lot of people. Kim Kardashian's sex tape didn't upset anyone, but do you actually think that Logan, not only is he gonna bounce back from it, but do you think it's gonna make him bigger?

Yeah. Yeah, he'll just, he'll just get—

that's so interesting because I, because I, I know everybody on the internet would disagree with you, but I, I do agree with you. I agree with you.

You do agree with me? Yeah, because why, why, why would it— he apologized, he fucked up, that's awful.

That's so crazy.

It's awful, but he's just a kid and he has a lot of loyal fans and he has the platform to make it up. Casey Neistat had a good tweet. Tweet. He's— he wrote something like, hey man, the essence of it was, you fucked up, whatever, you created a situation that's awful, why don't you turn it into something good? Yeah, why don't you donate some money or 100% time? And that's what he'll do, probably.

100%. The silver lining behind all this, if there is a silver lining, or like the only good thing about it, I don't know, is I think a lot more YouTubers especially are talking about mental illness. And mental illness was all over like my feed need. So whether it was tough, yeah, all people were saying is like, hey, I know this video may have not been the right way of, um, of talking about mental illness, but these are some serious— these are some actual phone numbers you can call or phone numbers you can text or websites you can visit if you're dealing with depression or if you're dealing with like suicidal thoughts. And I think that's, that's— if, if there is anything positive that came out of this whole thing—

I never looked at it like that. That's, that's very profound, David. Thank you, young David.

Thank you.

A brain in your head, there is one after all.

I'm looking at everything glass half full, you know?

Mr. Brightside, they should call you, sir.

Jason, you gotta go to bed.

With a funny mop on his head.

You gotta go to bed.

And a gleam in his eye.

You're pissing me off.

No, it's a good point.

But yeah, yeah, no, bottom line is, yeah, that's that, and it was a mistake. It was a pretty bad mistake. I don't know, I don't know, I don't know what's to come. I guess we're all kinda gonna find out. We're all on the same page. He fucked up. He knows he fucked up. We all know he fucked up. Let's see what happens.

Hey, I fucked up today too.

Okay, go for it.

Well, shit, man. I gave my daughter a bad banana.

Okay, if you're trying online dating, chances are you've run into lazy text messages, dead-end conversations, and random matches that just don't turn into anything.

Yeah, but you can't get to know someone just by looking at their picture. Unless it's David's, and then you can see that he's the devil.

Yeah, or you can see Jason's and realize that this is not worth your time.

Hey, Hey, I'm on eHarmony. Uh-huh. And it's going well. Yeah, yeah, I'm getting lots of matches.

eHarmony is unlike many other dating sites. eHarmony takes steps that other dating sites don't in order to find a more compatible person.

They are built to help you find lasting, meaningful relationships, not a shallow hookup site.

They have helped over a million people find their perfect match. eHarmony uses years and years of science data and psychological research to send you looking for the the best matches.

eHarmony brings compatible people together. There are plenty of hookup sites out there. That is not what they are.

That's not what eHarmony is.

No, it's not what it is, so don't even try to compare it to the other dating sites. It's different. It's the real thing.

Okay.

No, it really is.

Yeah, I know. Right now our listeners can get a free month with eHarmony when they sign up for a subscription. Enter our code VIEWS at checkout.

Mhm. Stop waiting and start your journey. To a satisfying, meaningful relationship. It can be fun to play around with online dating apps, but when you're ready to fall in love with someone and have a meaningful relationship, there's one app that's built to bring you real love—

eHarmony. Come see how eHarmony can change your life. Go to eharmony.com and get started. Enter my code VIEWS at checkout. Guys, seriously, go check out eHarmony. I joke and I joke, but I mean, it's great.

I'm on there.

Jason's on there for me. Go, go, go try and find Jason.

I'm getting a lot of matches in Costa Mesa.

Really?

Yeah.

Where— how far is that from here?

Well, I do have my— Costa Mesa, I don't know, it's like 50 miles.

That's where your beach house is though.

That's true, David. Yes, one of my many beach houses around the world.

It's— we had a— we had a girl over, or our friend Jonah actually had a girl over the other day. This reminds me of that situation. And I was just interviewing her for the vlog, and I asked her, I'm like, I'm like, would you— would you like Jonah if he became really rich one day, or something along the lines of that? And she goes, isn't he already rich? And I thought it was so funny because Jonah— Jonah's a guy who, who, I mean, makes like $200 a month maybe.

Yeah. And he has his mom's credit card though.

And he has his mom's credit card.

So that might appear as if you're rich. You're buying lunch a lot.

And it just leaves me confused because I wonder what he was telling this girl. Like, I wonder what he— what lies he was feeding her.

I don't think you have to lie to make people think you have a lot of money.

Oh, you know what? He has $100K on Instagram.

Well, maybe that's what it was.

So she probably just assumed. It's easy to—

$100K on Instagram, that means Instagram pays you $100K a month.

Yeah.

Right?

Fuck, wouldn't that be the life? Holy shit. Speaking of relationships, you didn't see Donald Trump's tweet.

No.

No.

What happened?

Can I read you this?

Please.

This is probably, I'm telling you, the most fucking hysterical Donald Trump tweet I've ever read. I really hope you haven't seen this. Because I want you to react to it.

You sure it's not The Onion or something, or some fake—

No, brace yourself. This is off his fucking account. This is, this is real. Okay, here we go. North Korean leader Kim Jong-un just stated that the nuclear button is on his desk at all times. Will someone from his depleted and food-starved regime please inform him that I too have a nuclear button, but it is a much bigger and more powerful one than his, and my button works. Fucking nuts, dude. That's kind of amazing. Yeah, at this point I'm starting to flip the switch from President Trump is a fucking moron to this guy's hysterical. Like, I'm starting—

it's getting the kind of thing, you know how we look at Kim Jong-un? That's how like the rest of the world looks at Trump. Like, like what? Like this is a fucking cartoon character.

Yeah, you're right.

That's how people look at— did you see the tweet about the airline?

What did he tweet about the airlines?

He tweeted about the airlines. He said, uh, he goes, uh, I like— I take credit for the fact, uh, for all the bills we passed, there were no airline deaths this year because of me. There's been no airline deaths since 2009, and he took credit for it.

Oh my God.

Someone wrote, uh, I think it was the Chicago Tribune or the Washington Post.

Well, someone from his depleted and food-starved regime, please inform him that I too— it's so funny. And then, and then KFC like the restaurant, the restaurant KFC tweeted. This is what they tweeted. They tweeted, McDonald's leader Ronald just stated he has a burger on his desk at all times. Will someone from his big-shoed, red-nosed regime inform him that I too have a burger on my desk, but mine is a box meal, which is bigger and more powerful than his, and mine has gravy.

That's great. Holy shit. KFC KFC?

Yeah.

KFC has burgers?

Well, apparently. That's fucking incredible, dude. I don't know, but at this point, Trump's a shitty president, man, but a really fucking amazing entertainer.

But to take credit for airlines not crashing is insane.

I don't care. He can take credit for whatever he wants at this point. He's a fucking hilarious lunatic, and it's— I don't know. It's just funny. It's funny. That's all it is.

It is.

Um, but yeah, I just got— I just got an assistant.

I heard. I was going to ask you, how's it going?

It's amazing. Today was my first day of having an assistant.

It must be hard to tell someone what to do all day.

Yeah. Are you being— are you being a dick to me right now? Are you being facetious?

No, I don't know how you could possibly be good at that.

Yeah, well, it actually is tough.

No, it actually is. It is hard to like delegate.

It's especially really tough because she's my really— one of my really good friends from home, right? Um, she helped interior decorate Liza's place, helped interior decorate my and now she's working for me. So like, it's, it's gonna be tough to like be the boss. It's, it's tough because I'm kind of like scared of like, like what if she doesn't do a good job and I have to fire her?

Yeah, well then you'd never talk to her again.

That's, that sucks. And I, and I, I'm, I'm really hoping she's gonna do a good job.

How could you possibly fail at that job? Well, you are already so fucking discombobulated and so failing at who you are that it's just so easy for someone to come in and just do a better job than what you're doing.

Yeah, I think that is the case.

You don't— you, you fucking don't have checks. You asked me to write checks for people. I don't have any money and I have to write your checks.

I pay you back.

You are very good about paying people back. You're very, very good. You're probably the best person I've ever known about paying money back. Yeah, except for the $6,000 you owe me that I've asked you about many times. That you just don't want to face.

You gotta chill. But it's coming. My assistant is on it.

Dude, you failed at so many little things this last year. Thank God you have an assistant.

You got yourself sick.

She's getting into my, um, she's, she's getting into my pool. She's gonna help me build the pool.

You're the kind of guy that, like, if they were like, hey, we have the rattlesnake vaccine, but you've got to go to, like, Sherman Oaks to get it. Yeah, you just got bit by a rattlesnake.

I gotta try the next town over.

Yeah, you'd be like, ah, we'll do it after I post. You know what I mean? Like, you can't— you can't— you can't live your life like that.

I can't operate without my vlog being up, and it's gonna be really nice for her to— for her to help with, like, just literally, like, just editing and shooting, just like the simple things, like literally, like, going to get water bottles from the store.

That would be nice.

Like, like, like, um, the other day we— Jason and I were in the car I know, I know, to a lot of you guys, you guys are probably like, why the fuck does this guy need an assistant? He makes YouTube videos, you know? But like, behind the scenes, like, saving 2 hours a day is fucking huge, especially when you're in LA and time is so like— it's, it's tough, man.

We had to go to the DMV last night, guys. I never— 4 hours.

I never thought I'd say this phrase, but there's literally not enough time in the day.

I never— in fact, I'm gonna put it on a t-shirt.

I never thought I would ever get to the point where I'm saying that, but But it's fucking true. But yeah, but the other day Jason and I, when I bought him the coffin and I surprised him with the coffin, the night before I had the idea and I'm like, Jason, we should go to a coffin shop and we should like pick out a coffin for you. I think that would be funny. And then I thought, oh my God, it'd be so much funnier if I surprised him with it. And then I just stopped talking about it and I didn't bring it up during the car ride and I brought up something else. I'm like, let's go visit Lamborghini instead. Let's go see the Lamborghini dealer. And I texted my assistant on the side and I'm like, hey, buy, um, buy this coffin, and she had it show up to his house the next morning, which is so easy on my part.

And it's just like, he was, he was ordering the coffin while talking to me, while he was texting.

Yeah, as we were going to our next destination, like, as I was talking to him about something completely different, the coffin was already being ordered.

That would have taken you like an hour and a half. Yeah, it would have called around to get a good price.

Yeah, and it's gonna save me a lot of money too because she's gonna be able Like, like with— I was getting a pool, like I'm getting a pool, and I was just gonna straight up take the first offer, right? Whatever. Like, if this guy said it's $700,000, I've been like, fuck, well, I guess it's expensive no matter where I go. But now she gets to shop around and get the price down.

And have you thought about maybe, you know, having this— having her help me with some things? Because I'm—

no, I've definitely thought about it. Yeah, you have? Yeah.

And what did you come up with?

Oh, absolutely not. I've thought about it though.

Okay, well, yeah, you did think about it.

No, I, I, I may have her help you with some things.

Really? Like what?

Hygiene, washing your underwear, clipping your toenails.

Oh, don't make her do that. Come on, David, you don't want a lawsuit.

No, I mean, it's gonna be, it's gonna be a lot of help. And I'm good, good.

It'll be good help for all of us. Maybe she can help, you know, find a girlfriend. Maybe I could find a lady. That would be fun.

Yeah, she can help you find a girl. Yeah, I'll have her, I'll have her connect you with local singles in the area. No, guys, but that's all the time we have for today. Um, this has been another few—

it's sad. It's always sad when we finish, isn't it, Dave?

It's so depressing. Which is why I'm so bummed out. It's 12:08 AM and I have to go home and still film vlog footage. I am so sad. I'm gonna go film now. I have to, dude.

Where are you going?

I, I, I gotta go to the apartment and shoot.

You gotta go back there?

Yeah.

What's going on?

Nothing, actually. That was my problem. I just went there and nothing happened.

Was Josh there?

Yeah. Um, guys, fun fact about this podcast, um, we finished at like 10 o'clock but the mic disconnected. So we had to lie down because I lied down midway through the podcast.

David got too comfortable.

So we had to record the second half. I had to drive back from my apartment here, and I have to go back. It's 12:10 AM.

Is Josh waiting for you there?

No, Josh is gone, and I'm picking up Liza tonight too.

But what's gonna happen?

I haven't seen Liza in like 2 days— or sorry, 2 weeks.

Um, no, 2 days.

No, like 2 weeks, because when she came to New Year's, it was— she got sick right away, and I like literally I really didn't get to see her.

Oh, so this is like the first time I'm seeing her. Um, so what's going on with the apartment right now?

I don't know, man. I'm just hoping something good happens. But guys, I've been dragging this on too long. I have to go shoot. I have to go make— well, no, but I'm so excited to vlog like all the time. I don't know why. I'm not getting tired of it. It's fucking weird. I'm like— I'm— dude, I think I'm addicted, right? Is that what it is? I'm addicted.

Yeah, you like it?

Yeah, I love it, dude. There's nothing fucking better. There's nothing better.

It's pretty fun.

It's just like, it's, it's fucking incredible. I can do whatever I want. I have like, like I have it set, you know what I mean? Like everyone's familiar with the formula.

Sure.

Like it makes sense. People come, they see 4 different people in the vlog, they like it.

You got a good cast of characters.

420. I got a great group of friends. Sure. It's fucking— it's, it's, dude, it's like, it's all like, it's what I can only dream about.

Well, I think that's great. I'm so glad that you prepared that song to sing us out this week about how much you love vlogging.

Yep, here I go. I'm the favorite guy when it comes to being friends with my friend Jason. Jason, take it away.

Oh, his name is David, and this has been a Views podcast.

Guys, make sure to subscribe to the Views podcast because next week it's going to be a full vlog or full podcast of just us singing.

Hope this podcast wasn't too much slogging. For you.

What does that mean?

Slogging. Slogging through something. It's like, is arduous.

It's like bullshit.

Yes, like garbage. Slog through something. Yeah, it was— yeah, it was arduous. I think I said it already. Arduous. Like, you can look up arduous later. Don't worry about it when I use big words. Just, just pretend that you know what I'm saying.

Can I try to use slogging in a sentence?

Yeah, go ahead.

Jason has been slogging his entire life.

Slogging through life.

Yeah.

Yeah, fuck you.

All right, bye guys. We'll see you guys later. This has been Views, and I am Bye.