Sneaking On To the Red Carpet

What's up guys? What's up with the views? We are outside of the— I'm in a hotel in New York. So is Jason. I'm looking outside. There's a lot of buildings. New York's very pretty.

David said— I walk into a really nice hotel room and he's like, this place sucks.

Yeah, it kind of sucks. Every fucking room in New York is so small.

As he was saying it sucks, the window, the blind went up robotically. It went and it revealed the most beautiful treetop. And there was a voice that said, good morning, Mr. Dobrik. And David was like, this place is ass. Natalie, what the fuck?

All right, roll out your music. Hey guys, I'm David, that's Jason, this is Views Podcast. Back to New York hotel rooms. Um, this one, listen, what is a good New York hotel room for you? Well, I've never had one, and I told Natalie, I was like, Natalie, no budget this time. Go ahead and book me a cool fucking room. Surprise me. So she is. And I need like a big room because like when I'm in these little rooms, I feel like I'm just— I feel like I'm sleeping on an airplane and I don't get real sleep. It's like, I don't know. I don't know if I'm claustrophobic. I don't know what it is. This is first world problems. Who gives a fuck? I don't even know why I'm talking about this. But, um, but yeah, all the rooms here remind me of like, have you ever seen like those videos of like, of like those little hostels in China?

Yes.

Where it's like everyone sleeps in a pod. That's what the shit's like. Like they're really cool. And they look super futuristic, but you're still sleeping in like a robotic coffin. Like that's how it's so small.

Yeah. It feels like you've gone to jail in Switzerland where the jails are really nice.

Yeah. It's exactly like that. And I told Natalie, I was like, Natalie, give me a good room. And she's like, okay, I'm going to surprise you. Get ready. So we flew out, we flew out here. We're really excited. It's 9:00 AM because we flew in overnight and Natalie goes to her room, I go to my room, and right as I'm opening my room, I get a text from her saying, "I fucked up." She's like, "These rooms looked a lot bigger in person." And I opened my room, oh my God. I stepped in and I was immediately in the bathroom, and the next step I took, my foot hit the glass because I was already at the end of the room. The rooms are small, I don't know. But New York.

That's New York though. You should, you know what you should do? You should stay at like a Marriott or a Hyatt. Yeah. Or a Hilton, the rooms will be big, bigger.

Did you know that 1 in 21 people in New York millionaires.

Wow, really?

Yeah, fun fact.

Maybe we should move here.

Why would— what would that do? You would just add to the 20 statistic.

Yeah, I know, but maybe I'll like catch on.

You'd just be— you'd be one of the 20.

Yeah, maybe I'd invest in something like small hotel rooms.

I mean, you have to be a fucking millionaire to live in this city. Every— everything's so expensive.

I, I was here last night before David. I met Snooki last night.

Oh, how was that?

Yeah, you know, I should know not to ask a celebrity for a photo. I should know, right?

No, Snooki's different.

Okay, because I could tell before I asked, I was like, she's not gonna wanna take a photo with me.

Really?

Yeah, she was there at this BuzzFeed thing I was doing and, uh, and she was there with all the girls from Jersey Shore and they were drinking and they were loud and they were like doing their thing, you know what I mean?

Were they on camera?

They, they were in a segment, uh, not in the same segment as me, but yeah, they had to go on and like taste a bunch of food.

Oh, but it was, it was, they weren't filming Jersey Shore.

No, but they were like the New York celebrities that they got there. They were like the biggest celebs that they got at this thing. That and de Blasio, who's the mayor. And, uh, and, uh, and I was like, I don't know, I've just always liked her. I don't know why.

Yeah, she seems like your type.

Yeah, she's just fun.

Yeah.

And she's kind of like loudmouth, and you feel like you know her, you know what I mean? So anyways, I walked up to her and I was like, I was like, hey, I was like, it's like, you think I could get a selfie really quick? And she was totally annoyed. You know, and she was walking out too. I had had fucking 6 hours to ask her. Yeah, we were there all day rehearsing. She was like, yeah, okay. And then her friend goes, friend goes, he's famous on the internet, like that, about me. And she goes, she goes, ah, that's great, take the picture, like that.

Oh, she was— oh, I read your tweet about this. I thought she got excited when her friend said you were famous on that.

Oh, maybe the tweet came off wrong then. No, it was more like, I don't give a fuck. Just take the picture.

Oh, okay. Yeah, I had a dream the other day that you were in New York because I was still in LA. Yeah, I just realized this was a dream. Yeah, listening to you say the Sookie story. Um, I, I ran into Adam Sandler and I filmed with him the entire day. We were filming for like 7 hours. Oh my God, it was just me and him in the car and we couldn't really figure out anything. And I was calling, he's like, Jason, where the fuck are you, bro? Me and Adam can't figure out anything to film.

Oh my God.

And that just reminds me, I remember when I when I went up to Adam Sandler to ask for a picture. It's like I asked him at literally the worst time. Like, he was leaving a premiere for his own movie, and he was finally with his kids. Oh no. Yeah, that's the worst. Never ask anybody for a picture when they're with their kids. He was super nice. He's like, I can't right now, I'm with my family. But I just felt so bad. I was like, why the fuck am I asking? I needed the picture because I was promoting the movie, so I needed a picture for the movie. But I was like, why the fuck am I asking him when he's with his family? What's wrong with me?

Yeah, but he gets it.

Yeah, no, I mean, whatever. But, um, but yeah, and then the other day we went to go to the premiere of, uh, let's hear— we're just name-dropping all the cool things we did the last 3 fucking days. And the other day we hung out with Quentin Tarantino. The other day we went to the premiere of Once Upon a Time in Hollywood. That was really fun.

The movie was a great movie. Tarantino's latest. He only makes a movie every 5 years.

Oh, is that the rule?

Well, it's not the rule, but I mean— oh, I can't remember the last one that came out. Yeah, they're, they're, they're art films, you know.

They're like Brad Pitt's in it, DiCaprio's in it, and Margot Robbie's in it, which are like the 3 biggest hitters. And a lot of the movie was filmed on Jason's street. Like, Jason's— like, where he lives, like his actual house. Like, you see all of his neighbors in the shot, which is fucking crazy. Because I remember we left the movie and immediately we went to Jason's house because he was giving me— he was doing like a surprise for me. And it was literally like we were in the fucking movie. Yeah, it was like— it was the exact—

it was—

I don't know, that was really bizarre.

When you go to movies, do you absorb the character? So the first 30 seconds you walk out out of the movie, you think you're still in the movie.

Yeah, of course. Like, every time I leave, like, a fast car movie— yeah, I speed, right? Like, I'm going like 100.

I walked out feeling like Leonardo DiCaprio. Whoa. And then, like, I couldn't find you in the bathroom, and I was like, no, Leonardo DiCaprio would be able to find him.

You sound a little crazy thinking you're DiCaprio.

No, it's, it's insane. It's insanity. That's why I'm bringing it up.

But we saw, we saw Quentin Tarantino on the carpet, and Jeff went up to Quentin Tarantino. If you don't know, he's a huge director, like One of the biggest, top 5 probably of all time, right? Top 10? Top 5?

Yeah, definitely top 10.

Yeah, he's a huge director, and Jeff goes up to him and shakes his hand, and he goes, you got what it takes. Yeah, yeah, you got what it takes. Yeah, and Jeff just told us he laughed, and then Jeff would tell us the story. He'd tell us that story over and over again, and what would he do?

He would tell it over and over again, and each time he would tell it, he would embellish a little bit more, like Quentin's reaction. Yes, and how much Quentin laughed. Like the first time It was like I said what it takes and Quentin Tarantino didn't really know what to say. And by the end it was like he was fucking, he loved it. He loved what I said. He was dying. He said what it takes back to me.

He was laughing so fucking hard. He shook my hand back, gave me a hug. I'm fucking, I'm having dinner with his family tomorrow. Yeah, no, he was, he was really getting into the story. No, the movie, the movie was great. I got a cool picture of Leonardo DiCaprio. I could have gotten a cooler one, but I was too slow. I was like, I was standing right in front of him because I knew where he was about to walk. And I was like ready to take a picture. And I was already holding it like on him. And then he walks by and he goes, and he points to my camera like a cool movie star. And he goes, oh wow, that's interesting. Because I was the only person with a disposable camera. And like, I was listening to what he was saying. And I wasn't taking the picture. And I snapped it right after he stopped pointing. So I missed the cool moment.

David now when he goes to these premieres, he hands his vlog camera over to someone and just walks around with this disposable camera.

Oh, it's so great, which is pretty funny.

It's pretty funny to see. I'm sure if I didn't know you, I'd be like, who the fuck's that kid just walking around with a disposable?

It's funny.

Because like Margot and DiCaprio and like Quentin were all like in like a roped-off section and on the, on the, on the carpet. And then I saw John Stamos in that same section, and that was like my aunt. I went, John! And he went, David! And I went I was like, fuck yes. And I walked over, I hopped over the little ropes they had to block them off, and nobody said anything, 'cause I was going to say hi to John Stamos, and he was cool with it. Saw the security, was like, oh, he's cool, he's cool. And I remember we got tickets to the premiere, but we weren't allowed on that portion of the carpet. But we were going into the theater to watch the movie. And a bunch of people came up. That was the perfect timing. A bunch of people came up to us saying, David, David, Jason, can we have a picture? Can we have a picture? And all the security saw this. And I was just like, oh, fuck it. Let's try to get on the carpet. Let's use this energy. So I was like, we're actually trying to go there on the carpet. And one of the security guards was like, no, no, no, no, no, you can't. You don't have the credentials. Because we didn't. And then two security guards walked over and they go, es un actor, es un actor. And the woman security guard— Guard goes, oh, I'm so sorry. I didn't know you were an actor. Because the other security guard saw them. People were asking for pictures. I was like, fuck yes. We're definitely not actors. But that got us on the carpet. So that was great.

What happened to your Margot Robbie picture? Did you get it?

Yeah, I got it. I posted it. You didn't see?

No. Oh, it came out?

Well, so what happened was I got a Margot Robbie picture. I was really happy with it.

How'd you get that one? Just walked right up?

I just walked up. And I was like, Margot, can I please just have a picture of you? And she goes, yeah, sure. She's very sweet. And I took it.

And I took it and I remember it also looks like he might be 14.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Super easy. Really unassuming. I remember I took it and I go, the disposable ages you down a bunch.

Right after I snapped the picture, I go, oh my God, thank God. And she just fucking, she looked at me and started laughing like I was like 10 years old. And I remember there was like all these press like outlets like right by me and they were just watching me and Margot because we were the only ones like in that area. And they just all started cracking up at like me almost fainting after I took the picture. But yeah.

If I did it, they'd be like, this guy's going to go take it home, develop it, masturbate to it.

Masturbate to it, yeah. This guy's a fucking creep. No, but I took the picture. And then I got to the party, the surprise party that Jason was throwing me. And they decided to throw me in the pool, which was fine.

Yeah, I don't understand when you throw somebody in the pool, you don't check to see if their phone is not in there.

Well, here's the thing, old man.

No, no, no, not old man. I know. I know this. All iPhones? I know all iPhones are fucking waterproof. I still wouldn't throw somebody in the pool with their iPhone.

But they're all just waterproof. It's done. That's the conspiracy.

It doesn't matter what else is in their pockets. It could be anything.

OK, well, this was a moment where there was something else in my pocket. And they were both of my disposable cameras that I took on the carpet. So I was like, fuck, this is screwed. I was in the worst mood after I got thrown in the pool. I was like, I—

Yeah, it took you out of the party for like 45 minutes.

Yeah, I was just sitting there.

Everyone was sitting around with David, and there was the most like— crazy party going on, and he was just like so upset about his disposable.

Yeah, I was just sitting there so, so beat. And then, and then the next morning, um, Cass and Natalie took it to the, to the place to get developed, and I was like, I fucking hope that the water damage didn't destroy the pictures. And the guy's like, I'm on the phone with the guy, like walking through the pictures one by one. I'm like, is there a blonde girl in there? Is there a blonde girl in the pictures? And he goes, not in this one. I see someone with brown hair. I go, no, that's not it. And he goes, OK, I see somebody. I see a man with— I'm like, that's not it. We're going through pictures one by one, seeing which ones made it. And then he went through all of them. He's like, no, there's no red carpet pictures here at all. And then I just fucking— and then I had this brain blast. I was like, oh my god, I left it in the jacket. So I walked into my car.

No.

And it was in the jacket of my— yeah, it was in the jacket of what I wore to the premiere. So the camera was never in the water.

Oh, it's great.

Yeah, so.

Which photo do you like better, the DiCaprio one or the Mark— which one came out better?

The DiCaprio one. I just found out, I found out when you take disposables, you can't stand too close to the people because that's what, when I stand close to you and it's the daylight, the flash just fucking, this is such a stupid thing, I should have realized this way sooner. But when I take a picture of you and I'm close, the flash just lights you up and black, it makes everything in the background black. So it looks like it's nighttime. So DiCaprio's picture, I was standing far enough where I saw everything. But Margot's, I was so close to her where you only saw her. So that's what I learned. Little photography secret.

Yeah, you're on your way, man.

Dude, there's a lot of fucking people.

Don't you think it's weird that your dad's a photographer and now you're following in his footsteps?

Well, my dad actually always wanted to be a director.

Isn't that funny?

That was his dream job, is to direct stuff. I don't know if— me directing the vlogs. I don't know why I said that as if I'm a fucking director. Well, actually, Jason, my dad always wanted to be a director, which I've always already been.

Quentin Tarantino, Martin Scorsese.

Yeah, you know, David Dobrik. You know us directors. No, but dude, have you seen how many disposable pages are popping up?

No.

Oh my God. Oh yeah, it's like someone, someone from my hometown.

Hilary Duff's disposables.

I don't know. I don't know who said it, but someone from my Someone, someone close to me was like, I went to go buy a disposable camera and the people at the store were telling me that they just got a shipment last morning and they were sold out already, that they don't know why they're selling so quickly.

Wow.

They've never sold this quickly. Isn't that crazy? Oh my God, that is so cool. I definitely didn't start the trend, right? I want to say that I definitely stole it from like my friends. Um, but I feel fucking— that's really exciting. Do you ever feel like ticketing websites make getting to the event difficult on purpose?

No, I don't feel like that because I only use SeatGeek.

Okay.

And they don't make me feel that way.

It was aggressive.

I don't give a shit. SeatGeek's the best.

Okay. SeatGeek is amazing. It's an app and it helps you buy tickets in literally the easiest way possible. Guys, I don't know why they give us a script for SeatGeek.

No, we don't need it. Just put the script down and just let you know, do it, do it all natural.

Let it loose.

Let it loose. Let it rip.

It's incredible. It rates every deal on a scale of 1 to 10. It pulls together millions of tickets from all over the web. It is 50,000 5-star reviews. 40,000 are from me because I'm so excited about— see, I love SeatGeek. They helped me with so many of my videos. We've bought over 13 cars using SeatGeek because they help me. They help— they support creators, which I really dig. And if you ever need to buy tickets to literally, guys, anything— concerts, any kind of show, Broadway, Broadway, anything—

use NASCAR. And if comedy shows— come see my comedy shows this fall. You can buy them on SeatGeek.

Fucking Christ, you had to—

you had to— you had to do it. Well, because I want people to remember that I'm more than just a podcast star.

SeeGeek will even give you $10 off your first SeeGeek purchase. All you need to do is use our promo code. Download the SeeGeek app today and use promo code VIEWS for $10 off on your first purchase. That's promo code VIEWS for $10 off your first purchase. I'm officially part of the Nickelodeon family now. Oh, I know, which is exciting. Yes, this is my first time working on a set. I'm a judge. On a music show.

Yeah.

Um, which is funny. All the tweets are like, what the fuck is he doing there? And I remember there's like those kids in the audience that— those kids in the audience that sit there and watch the show. It's America's Most Musical Family is the show. It's actually a really— it's actually a really great show. I'm not just saying this because I'm on it, but it's like, it's just musical families, which is so crazy that no one's come up with the concept yet. It's musical families and all all of them have like, it's like polka, it's like folk, like they all sing in different genres, pop music, and it's so crazy. They're all related in some way.

Are they mostly like brother, sister, or are there mom and dads there too?

No, it's like mom and dad, grandparents, triplets. Really? Like it's all fam. There was a family the other day, there was 8 people. It was mom and dad and there was their 6 kids.

Really?

Like it's ridiculous. But yeah, there was a kid in the audience and I was like, why don't you bring your family? You go on the show. And they go— and he goes, I don't have any talent. And I go, I don't fucking have any talent, and I'm here too. So you can do it. I feel— it feels I'm surrounded by Debbie Gibson, Nick Lachey, and Sierra, who are all very talented musicians. So it's really funny to be the oddball out who doesn't— who has absolutely no— like, I have no reason to be in a room full of musicians.

Yeah, but neither does Simon Cowell. Sure.

Yeah, yeah. No, I'm that judge.

Actually, Simon Cowell does. He produced, like, major hits.

Well, yeah, yeah, yeah.

So you're fucked. Piers brought up Piers Morgan.

Sure.

Big judge on AGT.

No, no, America's Got Talent I feel like is different. Like Howie Mandel, he's not a musician, but he's— he's—

but he's come up as like— he's like a— he's like paid his dues as an entertainer for like 30 years. Sure, sure.

Yeah, I have no— I have no purpose. You're like, yeah, but Howie, I mean, I get it, I shouldn't be on the show, but somehow I am, okay?

No, I feel like you do know what's good, and you know, you pick music for your vlogs that you hear from other people, so that kind of counts. Have you had to be mean to anybody yet?

No, no, it's Nickelodeon, so we're not really mean.

And have you had to like not even be mean but like hurt someone's feelings?

No, no. Well, everyone's already so talented. I mean, no, I mean, two, two people are cut from the show every day. Oh, so there's crying. Oh, there's definitely crying. Um, so yes, I have, I have heard people's feelings, I guess. It's so interesting. It's my first time working on a set And it's just so different than working.

It's definitely trying. Natalie's there.

Yeah, Natalie.

No, no, no, the kids.

Yeah, Natalie's sobbing in the green room. The green room's great. Have you ever had a green room where you're, where you're in the green room multiple times?

Yeah.

In a week?

Yeah.

Yeah. So it's like, so it's really cool because it changes a lot. No, it doesn't change a lot. It's like you can add things to it. Oh, so like one day I was like, I would love strawberries. So, so Megan texts them and like, can you have strawberries in a strawberry? It's fucking crazy. The next day I show up, And there's a fucking platter of strawberries. Even they threw in raspberries and blueberries and watermelon. So much, like way too much, like to the point where I had to invite Carly and Aaron. And I was like, hey, there's strawberries here. I won't be able to eat them. I don't want them to go to waste. Can you please come by and eat some? And then, and then I asked for, I asked for, I asked for peppers.

Yeah.

And cucumbers. So they sliced up peppers and I got a text and they're like, what color peppers you want? And I was like, red.

Oh no.

So the next day it was red peppers and cucumbers all sliced up with, with Dipping sauce, ranch.

Man, to be—

Oh my God.

1 to 4 on the call sheet, huh?

It was fucking crazy. And I remember, I remember I was— well, first of all, it's insane because like, because like the fridge is filled up with like— before you like enter like onto set, they like ask you what you want. It's like what you want to drink. So I was like, I like LaCroix and I like water. And they like want me to specify what kind of water.

Yeah.

So I was like, fuck it, fill it up with Fiji. So like It's like it's all ready, it's all there. You're treated, I remember driving away. I drive the Ferrari to set just because it's my only time I can drive it because I'm not vlogging.

God, what a life.

It's like straight out of like a fucking Hollywood movie. This is all gonna go away soon. This is my 5 minutes.

It can't last.

Yeah, there's no fucking way.

No, you're going to jail or driving off Mulholland. Something will happen.

Something's gonna happen.

Yeah.

So I remember, I'm driving, I'm in my Ferrari with Natalie, we're leaving, and the people from the set are driving away. Or the people on the set are waving goodbye to me. And I'm like, wow, everybody is so nice on this set. And then 2 seconds later, I go, oh wait, hold on. I'm sure that they're mean to everybody else. Natalie's like, yeah. They probably— as I'm driving away in my Ferrari, I'm like, this is exactly what privilege is. I'm like, that woman that just waved goodbye to me probably just fucking turned around and yelled at 7 interns.

Yeah, that's the hierarchy though, man.

Yeah, that's really—

you started at the top.

And then when we were driving away, someone pulled up to me and they go— and like, they pull up next to me while I'm in the red Ferrari and they go, yo, David Dobrik, I fucking love you, man. And I turned to Natalie and I go, Natalie, this feels like this is out of like a high school dream.

It does.

It feels like I'm still in high school and I just had a dream. And I— and like, the dream is Natalie sitting right next to me in the car. And I'm like, I can imagine myself in high school going, Natalie, I just had a dream. I just had a dream we were married. We were married and you were in my car. We were going back to the house where we live at together. We must have been married.

You should ask for a bunch of stuff next week that you— that's just really, really crazy, crazy, and see if they bring it.

Man, Hollywood's crazy. It's like I've never been treated like this. You know, when you vlog, it's like you're just a vlogger.

Yeah.

But when you're on a set, you're literally treated—

You can't get Natalie to ask you what kind of peppers. Are you kidding?

No.

You barely get the peppers if you ask Natalie. Natalie would spit in my face. Yeah, exactly.

No, but on set, they chew up the peppers for you and make sure you don't hurt your teeth. No, being on set is a total different life than vlogging. It really does spoil you.

That's awesome.

But yeah, I'm going to start asking for random shit.

What was it like?

I'm going to start asking for pieces of your body. I'm gonna go like, I want Jason's left ear.

Call them, call them and say that I need, I need Jason.

I need Jason. I need him to, I need him to be singing. Well, because you know, you know how it is, like, like huge actors, they ask for weird shit in their dressing room, right? Right. Like, have you heard about this?

Yeah. Like, like what's some more like rock stars?

I've heard the writer, like, like I'm talking about like big stars, like, like I'm talking about like Tom Cruise. Yeah, like Tom Cruise, DiCaprio. Yeah, like they'll ask for— because they've been around for so long, like they need certain things. Like, like some people will need gospel music in their trailer, or like, what have you heard before? I don't even know.

I mean, I've heard like, I've seen riders of like Aerosmith.

Oh yeah, what is Aerosmith?

It's like, it's like it's alcohol and it's got to be Jim Beam. It's like whiskey, it's only Jim Beam, you know? Like, no, and it'll say like, no other whiskey shall be in around there. Sure, you know, like, it's like, all right, I guess you're serious about your whiskey.

That one's pretty simple. But there's also writers where people aren't allowed to look at them when they're in the dressing room. No one's allowed to come in. No one's allowed to knock.

Do you have that? Is that people aren't allowed to look you in the eye on the set?

No, no one's allowed to look at me.

That's good. I'm glad you put that in, because that's just very draining.

I made it very clear. I said, please, nobody's allowed to talk to me.

Could you imagine? I heard one person accidentally looked you in the eye, and that they—

They're fired, yeah.

Yeah, they had them fired.

I wanted to do that around the house. 'Cause I know there's hosts of shows that have a rule where you're not allowed to look them in the eye, which I think is crazy, but it also makes sense because everybody just wants something from them. And they've been doing it for 40 years, so I can't put myself in their shoes, so I can't really be like, oh, that's stupid. But no, I've always wanted to do that around my house, where if you come, you're not allowed to look me in the eye unless we're filming or with Natalie.

What would be the penalty if someone did look you in the eye around your house?

Death.

You're just out. Out of the vlog that week.

It was so funny. We were reading— I had to read like this prompter for Snapchat, and it was like, Nickelodeon's newest hit show. And when the producer was reading it to me, he accidentally read it as Nickelodeon's newest shit show, and I fucking died. And I died because Nickelodeon's new shit show, Vic. And I was like, fuck.

And you were the only one laughing?

Well, I was the only one that caught it. And then I told him and then he fucking started cracking up and everyone around started cracking up because no one else heard him say it.

Are you having a good time over there?

Yeah, no, I have fun, dude. I mean, when they bring you, when they bring you strawberries to your fucking dressing room, like my, you're, you're talking to a guy, like my parents wouldn't, they wouldn't, they wouldn't get strawberries too often because they were expensive. Berries are expensive, and the fact that they were just sitting there, yeah, for free.

Not to mention, even if you have the money, you got to go down and pick them out.

Yeah, it wasn't even coming out of my paycheck. They were genuinely free.

Yeah, and you know that those strawberries, they didn't make it to craft services. Those— that fruit wasn't the same exact fruit that everyone else got. That was just David's.

And it wasn't even like strawberries, like, oh, here's the container of strawberries. They were put on a separate plate, right? Made to look beautiful. I don't know.

Did Debbie Gibson have any of your strawberries?

Yeah, I went— I literally went around, I was like, please, please take these strawberries, guys. And I was like, Debbie, do you want some? She likes watermelons. Like, do you want some of my watermelon? And she's like, I have my own. And I'm like, man, we have it all here, don't we? No, I'm fucking— I feel really— I really do love the show. I love being there. The people are so nice.

When you had your first judge, the first act goes up, And then you had to give your opinion. Did you like go first? Are you third? Were you nervous? What'd you say?

I always go second, I feel like. Yeah, I'm always nervous, but I always like, I'm always so amazed by the families performing that it's super easy.

It's super easy to say, like, I really like this. I really like that.

Yeah. Like, it's like, it probably warms your heart. Yeah. Like, I started crying the other day.

Really?

I don't want to say like what they did, but it was like really cool. Like all these families.

Did they catch it on camera?

Yeah, of course. I have an in—

Wow, David, you really like the act.

No, these fucking strawberries, they're so good. I have an in-ear, like an earpiece too. So like the producer will talk to me.

What will he say?

I'm like—

On the tears here?

And he'll be like, so, so like I knew that this family was going to do something special. They were going to like dance. They're going to dance. And I was— and the producer was like, wait till you see this family. There's a big surprise, like in my ear. And I go back, I go, I've already been briefed. I know they're going to dance. It's not a big deal. And then they started dancing and I started crying because of how they like started dancing. And all I hear in my ear is, I told you, I told you you're going to cry.

Oh wow, that's funny.

Yeah.

Did the other judges see that you were crying?

They were crying too.

Oh my God.

Yeah, it's so much fun. I really, I really like doing it. I love like, I don't know, it's just fun. I like, I like be, I like doing things that are like, like I like being in on an organized Like it's so organized, right? And everything's like, like it's all like thought out. It's not like working on the vlog where it's like chaos. Yeah, it's like, it's like I know what's happening. I know what's going on. You do this, you do that.

That's your doing. You make the vlogs chaos.

No, I know, I know.

But, um, you should take a page from—

it's really interesting—

and Debbie Gibson.

But no, big shout out to Nickelodeon. I really do, do appreciate being there. I'm having a lot of fun and I think it's— I'm so—

if we got you strawberries on the vlogs, would you treat you guys nice. Yeah, that's really better. Is that all it takes, red bell peppers?

I think that's what it is.

Slice them up.

Oh, you know what the best part is, Jay?

What?

I'm, I'm, I'm judging. I'm at the table like mid-show, and my guy who's like, who like takes care of me on set comes up to me, he's like, do you need anything? And I go, what would I possibly need? Like, I got my LaCroix here, I got my water, like I'm already living, like I don't need anything. And he goes, I don't know, you don't want like an apple a peanut butter jelly sandwich. And I go, did you say peanut butter jelly sandwich? And he goes, yeah. And I go, where are you gonna get— where are you gonna get that from? I go— and he goes, I could just make it for you. And I'm like, are you fucking serious? Yeah, I'll take a peanut butter jelly sandwich. So at my judge's table, he brings me a peanut butter jelly sandwich sliced diagonally.

Oh my God, you watch the show and it's all the judges, and then in front You're just a pile of food. All this shit you're eating. Oh my God. I really like the lobster stack.

It's great. And then, and then when I'm done eating the sandwich, chocolate fountain, and then when I'm done eating the sandwich, people have to come and check my teeth to see if I have, see if I have peanut butter in my teeth. I'm like, oh my God, I never want to leave here. No. So it's, it, it really is great. I gotta stop talking about it because I'm too excited about it. But yeah, I'm having fun. Is there ever something that interferes with your happiness or is preventing you from achieving your goals?

Yeah, a lot of stuff. I mean, thanks for asking. I wanted to talk to you. I've been having a lot of things on my mind.

Well, you should talk to me, but you should talk to the people at BetterHelp.

Oh, this is an ad.

Because BetterHelp online counseling is there for you. They have licensed professional counselors who are specialized in anger, depression, stress, anxiety, relationships, sleeping, trauma, self-esteem, grief, all kinds of things, Jason. Even whatever you're going through, which could be very confusing. Anything you share is confidential. If you're not happy with your counselor for any reason, you can request a new one at any time. There's no additional charge. There's 3,000 US licensed therapists across all 50 states. It's available worldwide, and financial aid is available for those who need it. It's affordable, it's professional, convenient, and most importantly, it's secure.

We should set up a conference call with a, a, a BetterHelp therapist, me and you, like couples counseling.

We do need it. We need— we do need couples counseling.

And then you can go in and I'll, I'll jump out and Natalie will jump in.

I feel like I just— I would just sit there for a long time and just listen to you talk. And I feel like that would stress me out so much. I would need to get my own therapist.

Oh yeah. Like you wouldn't be yapping away at the therapist, my friend. You'd be talking the entire time. You're that guy. You're the guy that's like, oh, I don't know about therapy. And then you get in there and you're like, I am that guy.

Best of all, it's truly an affordable option with Views. When you use the discount code Views, you get 10% off your first month. So why don't I get started today? Go to betterhelp.com/views. Simply fill out a questionnaire to help them assess your needs and get matched with a counselor you'll love. That's betterhelp.com/views. The other day we were at a party and Zane and Natalie and Ilya were getting super drunk and I, and I, uh, and when people get drunk, I'm, I'm gonna film them. So I go up to Jason, I go, Jason, Jason, Zane, Natalie, and Ilya. They're priorities right now, okay? They're getting super fucked up. And Jay turns to me and he goes, "In about 5 minutes, I'mma be a priority." And then Jason got fucking fucked up and everyone was a priority.

We were at a party, I was not having a good time 'cause I wasn't a priority. So then I decided to start drinking and then I started to have a really good time.

It's my favorite when like, my favorite thing is when our friends are going out drinking And one guy's getting really drunk and you can tell that that one person wants other people to get drunk. So they start going to the other people and going, come on, drink, drink, drink. And then it's like a domino effect. And then all our friends get drunk and I'm just sitting there sober like, ah, yes, I'm about to milk this.

I made this wheel for David, um, for his birthday. And on the wheel was a bunch of different content ideas. Like Zane makes out with so-and-so.

I throw darts at Scott's hand.

Yeah.

People see Jonah's penis, stuff like that. Yeah.

And, and so I worked on it for like a couple weeks, and like, and like, we went and bought the wheel on Amazon, and like, funny, and like, John, like, while I was in Chicago with you, John built the wheel, and then he was sending me videos and spinning it, and I was like, oh my god, it's so great. But the problem with the wheel was that you've done all the stuff, so everything was kind of like— so Natalie would look at the wheel and she's like, well, he's seen Heath smash a table. You know? And I was like, I know. So then Natalie was like, it's gotta be more intense. You know, David, the wheel has got to be, it's gotta be crazy. And I'm like, I know, Natalie, I've been fucking, Jonah and I have been brainstorming for like 2 weeks trying to come up with stuff that we can do. I'm like, please, please tell me if you have something. And she was like, I don't know, I don't know, light Jonah on fire, light him on fire. And I was like, I can't light Jonah on fire. Fire, Natalie. She's like, all right, well, not that, but something more intense. It's got to be more intense. I'm like, okay, what?

What's so funny? Because I hear stories about Natalie like this where she like, she like takes on like my role. Yeah, when I'm not around, but I never see her do it when I'm around, right? So every time someone tells me like, that does not sound like Natalie, it doesn't sound like Natalie at all.

You should have seen me. She should have seen her. She was like grilling me. I was like, what do you want me to do?

You have to pull his toenails off one One by one, Jason. He needs it for the video.

She does get like that sometimes.

Yeah, that's so interesting.

Like, Natalie, can't you— she's like, I don't give a fuck. It's like, it's fucking Jonah, who cares? Like that.

We'll get another one. We'll get another Jonah. Just fucking burn him. Burn him, Jason. That's really funny.

So that—

yeah, yeah, I heard Natalie can get— I heard Natalie turns into me.

That's— she does.

That's really interesting. Trained her well, because when she's around me she's like, she's like you guys. She's like, no, no, no, no, we can't do that, we can't do that.

Right.

But then sometimes, sometimes like when she knows it's time for a video, she'll like jump into it. Like when I'll be like, Jonah, I need to shoot you with the paintball gun. I'm like, no, no, no, I can't. Natalie will just step in and be like, Jonah, stop being a fucking pussy. Holy shit, Natalie, what's going on?

It hurts when David calls you a pussy. Try having Natalie call you a pussy.

It really hurts. It is pretty brutal. Well, Natalie, I appreciate you for that. I didn't know you were doing doing so much work when I'm not around.

She's doing good. She's trying to raise the bar. I was coming to see you at your hotel because we're staying at different hotels, and, uh, I just walked in and I was like, hi, uh, 1610, like that, you know, your room number.

Yeah.

And, uh, and the guy goes, the guy goes, yes, yes, right away, let me take you, uh, 1610. And I said, yes, yes. And, uh, and then, and then they, they go, he passed me another person. She goes, hi, can I help you? And I go, yes. I'm trying to see my friend in 1610, like that, and then out of the corner of my eye, I see two 16-year-old girls who clearly know that you are here, and they were like—

1610?

Yeah, they're like, what? They just know I'm coming to see you, 'cause I've been on my story like, David's coming tomorrow, literally, and they know, I'm sure they know I'm coming to see you, and then as they're walking away, and I put it all together, I go, hey, hey, Hey, hey, don't, don't go up there, don't go up there. And they're like, what? No, no. And they pretend like they didn't know anything. It's like, fuck, fuck, totally doxxed.

Don't you fucking go up there. That's funny. Anyway, did you, uh, did you kill him?

I don't want to put that in the podcast.

Well, we'll cut it out. But did you?

Yeah, make sure you cut this out.

Um, there's a, there's a house that's for sale that I really like. I'm going to see it on Saturday. Yeah, it's $25 million. Yeah, it's crazy.

Um, it looks like your house but bigger.

It's my house but literally on fucking steroids. It's like a corner house. It has a pool, massive backyard, tennis court. It's— it belongs to Gwen Stefani. Gwen Stefani's selling it. It's a massive house.

Why do these rock stars buy— like, why do people buy $25 million homes and then eventually go, nah, I'm done?

Because they buy a $40 million home.

Do they?

Yeah, really? Or they— or she's moving to like Malibu or Calabasas, right? So it's like, relax.

It's so interesting. I think once you buy the $25 million home, you're good.

No, that's not it.

That's not how it works.

No, please. What do you mean?

I don't think a $40— I don't think there's a difference between a $25 million home and a $40 million home.

I think there are.

And if there is, I think there are 100%. And if there is, then you're not enjoying life the right way.

That's not true.

It's— I agree. I am totally 100%.

That's how all humans work. Like, you, you, you're never satisfied.

Exactly. Yeah, exactly. You just said it right there. They're never satisfied. How much is enough, David? That's my question here on today's episode of Views. How much is enough?

I don't know. I don't— I think it would make me happy if I bought $25 million. I was literally— I was with Natalie in the car earlier today and I was being completely serious. I don't know what I was thinking, but I was like, Natalie, if I sell everything in my life right now, yeah, can I buy this $25 million house? And she, she got so mad at me as if I was talking about spending her money. She was absolutely fucking not, you moron. So I want to say I have one friend that lives in a gated community, and it's like, it's, it's so interesting because it's a mile drive. You, you drive up a hill for a mile, and then you hit this huge gate with like an armed guard, and you have to go through this huge process of getting in if you don't live there. Like, what's your name? Show me your ID. They scan your ID. It's like buying alcohol, whatever. Then they finally let you in. The gates open nice and slowly. There are these big bolted gates, and then you go in, and then you have to drive like another mile up the hill, and then when you're there, you hit another fucking gate.

Wow, it's 2 miles up?

It's— and it's 2 gates. This person lives in a gated community within a gated community, which is crazy to me. And I was asking my friend, I was like, how does this work? Like, how— how— why? And he was like, well, that— that's where the rich people live, and this is where the rich, rich, rich people live. That's so crazy. It's so crazy that there's even such a big difference between the rich people.

Wow.

Like the fact that the rich people, the fact that the rich, rich, rich people are still scared of the rich people.

Yeah.

So they have to gate themselves off too. That's insane.

You know, I don't think money makes people happy, David. I'm just saying. Really? Yeah. I don't think it does.

I don't think it makes you happy, but I think it helps you. I think it alleviates a lot of the stress.

We talked about this the other day. Money makes you happy. The pursuit of money doesn't make you happy.

Oh, really? The pursuit of money? I think the pursuit of money isn't— it's not like the pursuit of money per se. It's like working and being successful and getting things done makes you happy, and then money comes along with it.

Interesting. I think we're both going to end up destitute, so it doesn't matter.

What does that mean?

Destitute?

Sexy?

Yeah, it means sexy.

Thank you.

Hey, before we Before we end, I had an idea. You know, sounds like your show's gonna be a hit. Congratulations.

Well, we don't know that.

No, I think it is. It sounds like you got— you're— you got a good thing going over there. Season 2, I'll start my kids, get them in a little band, little Charlie and Wyatt band. You know, Wyatt plays violin, saxophone.

You want your kids on America's Most Musical Family?

I'm thinking if they start training now, then by season 2 they'll get in there. The Wyatt and Charlie band.

You want me to rig it?

I have never seen seen such shit brought before this. No, no, Nick, Sierra, Debbie, hang on. I need to say this.

David, stop. Cut it out.

You— no, I won't stop. You two are so bad, so awfully ridiculous, and your dad is such a fucking shit for paying for— oh, all the lessons he paid for. No, it's a hard no. It's a no from me. It's a no from Debbie, it's a no from Sierra. Absolutely not. David, hold on, we want to judge. No, Debbie, I apologize. Yep, that's how it's going to be for my fat friend and his dumb children.

All right, well, now you know. No, I would actually really like to have your kids on the show.

No, no, and we'd love to— some free tickets, actually, to come down. Sorry to bring this on your show, but we would love to come down.

Um, all right, guys, well, that's all the time we have for today's podcast. Thank you guys for listening. If you guys ever want to buy some of our merch, I don't know why you would, but if you do, go check it out. It's on fanjoy.co/joebrick or Nash. My merch, my merch, my merch.

People are so familiar with buying David's merch, maybe they want something new and come on and buy some of my merch. That would be fun too.

Jason's merch is so special because you can be wearing it and, and you won't even know that it's his because it literally has nothing to do with him. It'll just be the most—

well, neither does clickbait. Clickbait has nothing to do with you. We all clickbait.

No, I clickbait. That's all I all I do is clickbait.

Huh? That's all I do is clickbait. We all clickbait. You're not so special.

Okay, well, anyway, that's all the time we have.

Okay. Yeah, it looks like I just ate my own fucking foot.

We'll see you guys later. My name's Jeff.

Bye.