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Sneaking On To the Red Carpet
No, no, no, not old man. I know. I know this. All iPhones? I know all iPhones are fucking waterproof. I still wouldn't throw somebody in the pool with their iPhone.
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Masturbate to it, yeah. This guy's a fucking creep. No, but I took the picture. And then I got to the party, the surprise party that Jason was throwing me. And they decided to throw me in the pool, which was fine.
Yeah, I don't understand when you throw somebody in the pool, you don't check to see if their phone is not in there.
Well, here's the thing, old man.
No, no, no, not old man. I know. I know this. All iPhones? I know all iPhones are fucking waterproof. I still wouldn't throw somebody in the pool with their iPhone.
But they're all just waterproof. It's done. That's the conspiracy.
It doesn't matter what else is in their pockets. It could be anything.
OK, well, this was a moment where there was something else in my pocket. And they were both of my disposable cameras that I took on the carpet. So I was like, fuck, this is screwed. I was in the worst mood after I got thrown in the pool. I was like, I—