Lying About My Boob Job

What's up guys, welcome back to Views. I got a DM with alarm clocks, you know those alarm emojis? People were like alarm, alarm, alarm, alarm, repeated story alert, repeated story alert. Oh yeah, so someone said Dave initially told the story in 2019, the story in the last podcast where I, where I was seeing this girl. Yeah, and she was coming over and I jumped in the pool. Yes, apparently Apparently I've said that story before.

Yes.

But I had it cloned as something else. Oh. I was trying to not say that I was hooking up with people at the time.

So mysterious.

So this person said, repeated story alert, except not exactly. Dave initially told the story in like 2019, 2021 saying he had ordered Postmates. Probably not one.

Oh my God. Wait, I think I kind of remember. Yeah.

I remember you telling this story before, but not the Postmates part. Yeah.

Probably not wanting to make it seem like he gets girls. He used to do that. Also, he said it was a neighbor's pool again, and that was because of the Zane thing. So when I told the story before, I never said it was Zane's house because I didn't want people to know he was my next next-door neighbor, not to dox him. I didn't want to dox myself by saying I had a girl over. I was saying—

this is why people think you're gay.

It's really fun.

You're out there hiding it with Postmates.

All my stories have secretly— all my stories have secretly had women attached to it. Change different Postmates.

That's funny. You know, I was going to get my Postmates. What's that code for?

Yes. So now you know when I say Natalie's getting— Natalie orders a lot of Postmates here to the house. She's getting that, you know, that's code for she's getting that dick coming up every night. But yeah, okay, so wow, that's crazy. I love that people can fucking track this shit. It's crazy. It really is.

That is crazy that people have memories like, like that.

Fucking. I actually hung out with a Postmates the other day.

Yeah, like, oh, wink wink. Got it.

Yeah, I hung out with a girl the other day and we like messaged back and forth like a little bit and it's just kind of crazy the amount of things I've never seen her in real life. I've never met her in real life until we hung out.

Okay.

And I've messaged with her for like, sorry, I've seen her like 4 or 5 times at like parties and events, but we never hung out ever, ever, ever, ever, ever for more than like 20 seconds.

Yeah.

And we messaged back and forth for like the last like 3 months. Just like, and then we finally met up, right? Whatever.

Yeah.

And like 5 out of the 10 things I would say, she'd be like, what the fuck? You don't remember any of this? And I'd be like, I literally don't have a memory. Yeah. Like I do not have a memory. Like I don't, it's, and I was like, yeah, I just can't, anything you tell me, it's just out the window for some reason. I don't know what it is. I don't know. I don't know if it's like a regular thing, if it's just me. I don't know.

It's really good to know.

Yeah. Yeah.

You did it today. You were like, yes. So you're telling me an idea and then you're like, yeah, somebody came up with it. But anyways, and it was like, I was like inside, I was like, it was me.

Oh, that's really funny.

That's funny.

Yeah.

I was pitching an idea that Jason had. Jason had this funny idea today too. So, okay. So, so I was pitching an idea Jason had initially, but I didn't know who came up with the idea. So, but I wanted to credit the person cuz I hate saying ideas are mine if they're not. Mm-hmm. Um, but I couldn't come up with it. So yeah, I guess it was you, Jay, but Jay had another good idea. It was great.

Just to clarify, so you're admitting right here live to the people that you have a bad memory?

No, no, no.

You are the one with memory issues.

Where are you going? Where are you going with this?

Because David always— I mean, it's a daily conversation here, daily argument that I am the person that has short-term memory loss, long-term memory loss, whatever. I am on record. And I forget everything.

But what I remember the most is my conversations with you.

That's fucking false.

And not in a beautiful, loving way, but there's—

Oh, you love me?

There are important conversations that have to do with work. And I'll always remember everything today.

You can't say that.

It's literally today. Today we needed you to come for a bit. Yeah. And Natalie was like, okay, so Jay could come now.

Yeah.

Or he could come at 6. Yeah. And I said, just have him come now, whatever. Well, because I needed to shoot the bit. And then 3 o'clock rolls around and I'm like, is Jay coming? Yeah. And she's like, you never told me to call him. And then Ferris, who's sitting next to us, goes, Natalie, I normally would take your side, but apparently he did say it.

But he did.

He did tell you.

I will give you that one. We were in the middle of a conversation.

And then I go, Ferris, don't worry, brother. This shit happens all the time. This woman does not know how to communicate. She forgets everything.

No, I literally communicate for a living. That's literally my job is to communicate.

Yeah.

Your job.

Yeah. But you forget things.

Well, there's a lot going on sometimes, so some things do slip through the cracks.

I will admit. Can I tell you what slipped through the cracks the other day?

No, no, no, no, no. Please stop. Please stop with the This isn't fixing it. Okay.

Orlando slipped through the cracks. What was Orlando? That makeup job.

Oh, wow.

That wasn't really my doing, but no, no, no.

There was one. I got a bad makeup job in Orlando and I don't know whose fault it was.

There was this company that we started once. This was like 4 years ago.

Yes.

And what? Let me tell the story.

It's so annoying.

I'm just going to say it. And Natalie, for the longest time, for the longest time. I was like, every time I'd ask her, like, every week—

this wasn't fully my fault—

every week I'd be like, just so I know, how much do I own of this thing? What's my equity stake? She's— and she'd be like, 25%, 25%, 25%, which was my understanding. And then one day we're having a big company meeting with, like, everybody, and I'm like, okay, can we go through all the percentages again?

Yeah.

And the guy who's, like, running everything goes, okay, so our company owns 40, his company owns 20, 28, And then Dave, you own 11%. And I turn to Natalie and I go, I'm sorry, everybody. I go, Natalie, how much do I own? And she's looking at me. And then she looks back at the guy and she goes, I thought Dave has 25%.

Thankfully, the contracts hadn't been completed yet, so it was fine. But it was a very big fuck up on my part, for sure. But also just like a big string of things that were miscommunicated and whatever.

You know what's funny about you?

Well, I thought I owned 25.

You do crazy things, and I walk around thinking that you're crazy, and then I find out the truth and I go, oh, he was right.

Like what? What's an example?

There's just like, there's things that like, you'll have like a fight with somebody, and then I'll be like, oh, why is Dave being like that? And then I'll find out what happened, and I'll be like, oh, Dave's right.

Oh, I have an example for you.

Okay.

So we were leaving a party once with valet.

Yeah.

And I genuinely didn't have cash on me, right? And I told my dad, yeah, I was like, you gotta tip this guy $100. You have cash on you. He was still at the party, like I had him come with me. Yeah, it was like a daytime, like barbecue type thing. He's like, you got to give him $100 because I told him that you're going to tip him on my behalf. Yeah. And he completely forgot.

Yes.

And I was like, I gave him a hard time. I was like, you can't It's, you know, I forgot, but like, you can't do that because if I don't tip, it comes back to me 1,000x.

Yeah.

And that is something that came back to me. It did? Yeah. Like, like that, like, like yesterday I saw Natalie tipped like 15% on Postmates when the option goes all the way up to 25%. I don't care. Don't care what your argument is for how much drivers should be tipped. I don't give a fuck. Right. You tip 25 fucking percent in this house because it always comes back to me. It's unfortunate if you, If you don't want to order food here, yeah, like, go out and get your food, eat at fucking Chipotle, eat in the restaurant. But if you're ordering, you have to tip 25% because when people come to my house, they know it's my house, and I fucking get some snarky, dumb fucking message. It's like, you only tip 10%.

Yeah, so that's a great example. And the problem is, is you don't explain that to anyone. You just go, you just go, what the fuck? Like, what the fuck are you doing, John? 15%? And then we're all like, what the hell? 15%? But you don't explain the other end of it. Yeah, I know, but you do have your reasons, but you don't explain your reasons.

Yeah, that's an example. I don't expect people to know that.

Right.

Yeah.

That's really funny.

There was one time someone said I was at a restaurant and all I did was— I don't want to get into it, but yeah, that I didn't tip and it actually drove me nuts.

Yeah.

Because I hate talking about myself, trying to give myself a compliment. But the one thing I do tip, the one thing I do is tip always 20%. Just you got to do it. Yeah. I don't know if that's because I was a waiter.

Do you still not carry a wallet?

No, I don't carry a wallet, and there's no reasoning for that other than the fact that I would just probably lose it. No. Yeah, but like, why are you holding your boob, Natalie? Are you getting a boob job?

I'm not even holding my boob. I'm just— my armpit is warm, so my hand is in my armpit.

What were you guys— why were you guys talking about Natalie getting a boob job earlier?

We're not getting into this right now. I'm not getting a boob job. I'm not getting plastic surgery.

You don't have breast cancer, do you?

No, I don't have breast cancer. David is just spiraling rumors around the house and the office about me getting plastic surgery, and everyone's like, you know, you know, there's nothing wrong with plastic surgery. No, I would love a boob job, but I'm going to be gone for one day this week.

I was trying to spiral rumors.

No, he's screaming. He's like, Natalie's getting surgery, everybody.

Yeah, but you also lied last week and said that— you also said that when you go to doctor's appointments, you're actually at a nail appointment.

That's fair.

Yeah, that's fair.

This one's real.

And then this week she's like, I'm having surgery. I'm like, what?

Yeah.

So I'm like, what's going on? And she won't tell me. So I'm like, okay, it's probably on her sensitive area, private, whatever, or boob job. So I've just been chalking it up as boob job.

He went to a workout class today, and he told the instructor that we both are friends with that I'm getting a fucking boob job.

Well, because she asked me, how's Natalie? So I go, she's good. I think she's getting a boob job.

I'm like, what?

And she was like, that's amazing. I've always wanted a boob job. And I was like, I know. Good for Natalie for getting it. I mean, it's just like, because, you know, because she's going to be out for a couple of days from surgery. So if like this instructor does check on Natalie, I want to make sure she understands. Yeah.

Wait, this is really funny.

She's out for boob jobs.

I told one of my girlfriends about the surgery or whatever that I'm getting because she lives here in L.A. and I was like, I need a ride home from the thing.

Yeah. Yeah.

And then I told her and literally the next morning I woke up, I'm in bed checking my emails and I have an email from her mother being like, Natalie, I'm just wishing you the best. I told her to keep it to herself. And I get an email from her mom who I haven't seen in like several years being like, you know what? Whatever, I'm wishing you the best. You're going to be great. You know, whatever, blah, blah, blah. And I texted her in all caps at like 7:00 AM. I was like, Samantha, how did this already happen so quickly? Your mother is emailing me about it. It was really funny.

Okay, now we're at the edge of our seats. What is this thing?

Nothing.

Nothing.

Okay.

I love that you needed something to say in that moment.

What do you mean?

He could have just said like, Natalie's fine.

He could have easily said yes. He could have gone like, Natalie's great. That's just what most people will do, but not Dave. Dave's like, he's got to make the moment exciting. She's having a boob job. No, it's also like she's marrying a prince from Dubai. What?

Really? That's so great.

No, no, no. And obviously I would keep her like information secretive. Like, I might— like if she actually was having like a real surgery, yeah, like that she didn't want people knowing, obviously I'm not going to say it. But I thought, I thought boob job was fair game.

Um, but I'm not getting a boob job.

But she's not getting a boob job.

Yeah, you're addicted to, uh, people's reactions.

But, but, uh, Laura from Pilates is expecting to see your tits in about a week, so I got to show up there with some big, big knockers. She's getting really excited. I don't know. Would you ever get a boob job?

Yeah, I talk about getting a boob job all the time.

Really?

I actually love my boobs.

Yeah, I was going to say, you pride yourself in your tits.

No, I do.

Yesterday they were completely out during work.

Well, you threw a lizard on her.

You threw a lizard on me and I had to rip my shirt off.

And so I was just wearing a sports bra.

I had to leave the room.

It was a sports bra. Hold on, hold on. Back out.

Back up.

Back out.

Back out.

That's what you say in Call of Duty when the games are too tough. You back out of the lobby. Yeah, back down. Back down. What is it? Back up, back up, back up, back up. No, your nipple was just poking. It's not like— yeah, you were wearing a sports bra. You're making it sound like you ripped your shirt off and then you were just chilling in your lingerie the whole day. But she was sitting on a regular sports bra and she kept— like, every time I'd look at her, my eye would go down and I kept staring at my boobs all day. And I know Natalie knew that I was staring at her boobs. And I go, you just saw me looking at your boobs, right? She goes, yes. And I go, I can't— your fucking nipple is looking at me. It was freaking me out. Like, you know, like when, like, Like a nipple's almost out. Yeah. And you're like just looking, you're like, is that a nipple I'm looking at?

Yeah.

Like I could do it with Natalie because she's my friend.

Yeah. Trying to see the discoloration.

That's why she's catching me.

Yeah. Am I seeing discoloration here? Is this the start of the nipple? Yeah.

Is this a shadow being cast? Yes.

Yes. Or is this actual areola?

Yeah. So yeah.

Devi got a boob reduction, which is insane.

Really?

Yeah.

She still has really big boobs.

Still really big. But imagine.

We used to get—

Imagine when they were— what they could have looked like.

So many girls from high school, like something was in the water.

Get their reductions.

Vernon Mills, the tits like double E's, G's, like just crazy.

You have back problems, right? That's a big thing.

Yeah. Yeah. If you're a runner, I didn't even know. I didn't even know, like, the boobs went that high. But Vernon Hills, I think, must have set records. I know what it is.

What is it, David?

You have a cyst in your ass. You got it from me.

Your cyst has jumped into my ass. Yeah.

Really?

Yep. That's what it is.

They— I have seen some Instagram stories about that, how, like, you can carry, like, the ailment that you have. The people you spend a lot of time with can pick it up.

Bullshit.

Yeah, yeah, well, that's really mental health, but really? Oh yeah, yeah, I guess if you're like, apparently, apparently, uh, if you're like crazy, your partner will become crazy. Yeah, yeah. So I mean, Natalie spends a lot of time with you, so you're probably just passing it back and forth at this point for the two of you.

Really? You think so?

Yeah.

Do you want to hear a crazy story that I probably already told? No, I'm kidding. Um, this one I haven't told, so guess what?

What?

Guess what I'm going to be on the COVID of?

Ukrainian GQ.

Close.

Slovakian Vogue.

No, I don't even know.

Sudanese Vanity Fair.

American Vogue. No, I'm totally kidding. I don't know. I don't know.

Why are you going with this?

It's a complete lie. I don't know. I don't know why I'm lying. This is the story I heard. So I was with my friend who's like high up in a company. I don't want to say what the company is. He's an exec. And this— I thought this story was so crazy. So his best buddy runs in the New York circle of all financial people. And back in the day, I don't know the exact year, but back in the day, he'd get paid to show up to parties because he'd be, you know, it's this appearance fee, right? Yeah. Like you just want him around. He gives good advice, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. And one time he got paid in half in cash and the other half in Bitcoin. On a flash drive.

Wow.

And he didn't know anything about Bitcoin at the time. Blah, blah, blah. Fast forward a couple of years later, and this guy's pretty— this guy's tapped into a lot of things. So surprising that it took him this long to have this revelation. But there was a car ride that they were on, and he's telling his buddy, he's like, yo, you know what the fuck? Why did you make that weird face?

I was yawning.

Okay.

Your story was boring me.

So then he's So then he's—

you need us like both here with like toothpicks in our eyes listening to this story.

But she went like this.

I was trying to do it off the mic. Go, keep going.

Okay.

So I was riveted.

Yeah. So he's in the car with this. So he's in the car with this guy and he's like, can you believe Bitcoin is now at $50,000?

Right.

And this guy, this is when the light bulb clicks in his head that, oh my God, I got paid in Bitcoin once. And I'm sure he's heard about Bitcoin all up until this moment.

Right.

So he calls his family office, he pulls the car over immediately. Immediately. This is a real story. He calls his family office and he— I don't know if I could be telling this story. I probably could. And then his family story is like, do you— he calls his family office and he's like, do you have the flash drive? Blah, blah, blah. From this time, I keep it in this box, blah, blah, blah. And the guy that's working the office is like, you told us to throw all the flash drives away 3 years ago.

No way.

Yeah. So the flash drive's completely gone. And then he called the people that originally paid him to see how much they paid him. Yeah. And today's worth at that time when it was $50,000, that was $700 million in Bitcoin.

Oh my God.

Yeah, on a flash drive. So today it'd be like, I don't know, over $1.4 billion.

Jesus.

What? Isn't that crazy? And there's no, there's no argument there even for somebody to be like, well, he would have sold it. It's like, no, he wouldn't have because he had no fucking idea he had it, right? It was just sitting on a flash drive. Damn, that's crazy to think about how many things are sitting how much money sitting on flash drives are just obliterated. Like, you know, you've heard the story, you've heard the classic story of the guy who's like, who's like, who's paid, like, who got all these investors to chip in. You heard about this guy on Bitcoin? No, no, no. So this guy threw away his computer.

Yeah.

And it had all his Bitcoin on it.

Yeah.

Or it was a flash drive, it was a hard drive. And he knows where, he knows like relatively what dump it's at. So he got all these investors to go in on it, like give him millions of dollars to look through the dump to find the hard drive. And he never found it. This was like a story for like a couple of years.

Oh, I think I do remember this.

Yeah. Because there was like hundreds of millions of dollars on the thing. It's crazy to think that there's so many moments where hard drives were literally incinerated. Incinerated. Insinuated.

Incinerated.

Instigated.

Inspector Gadget.

I remember trying to buy it. I remember trying to buy it in 2017 because Scott told me about it and I couldn't do it. I'm so pissed.

Like, you couldn't buy it?

I needed to, like, put my license in. I needed to— it wasn't as easy to buy.

Oh, fuck that. I hate that shit. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. So my friend came over to my house and when Bitcoin was at $6,000 apiece.

Yeah.

And, and he had—

that's when I tried to buy it, when it was at 6.

Oh, you were there, I think. Yeah, it wasn't Scott. It was another guy.

Okay.

Came to the apartment. This was like— yeah, this is when I lived with 3 roommates at the apartment in Hollywood. And he came, he's like, you got to buy these fucking coins, buy these coins, buy these coins. I was like, whatever, I'll buy 3. And that's a lot of money for me at the time.

Yeah.

Like, and I bought $15,000 worth and, and then it got up to like that. $15,000 got up to like $120,000.

Yeah.

And then Scott, one day, Scott Sire was like, one day he's like, you guys got to go invest in Hoge.

Let's talk about that.

Yeah, that's really funny.

I told that story about Heath.

No, I don't know what that story is.

I was at— I was— we all put our money in Hoge.

Yeah.

And I put a lot of money in. I don't want to say how much, but it was really, really, really a lot.

Well, hold on. I set up like— Yeah, Scott called everyone to the house.

Yeah.

Like team meeting.

Yeah.

This, this is after Dogecoin blew up.

Yeah.

Like Dogecoin had this crazy thing and everyone's like, oh my God, goofy coins work. And now Scott's calling everyone to the house for Hoge Coin where we all bring our laptops over. Yeah, it's everyone. He's saying Jason has his laptop. I'm sitting there with my laptop. All trying to log in. Jay Boyce is walking us through it. He's like, we're all buying it. So I sent all my Bitcoin money that I have, which is $110,000. I'm like, I don't give a fuck. The last thing I want is to have FOMO when all my friends become billionaires. So I sent all $110 grand to Hoge. And then I assume you sent a lot of money there too.

I sent a lot.

And then what happened?

And then it started to surge and I was doing a show in New Jersey. And Heath and Mariah were really nice. They came and saw my show. And then we were backstage and we were just kind of waiting. And Heath just turns to me and he's like, "Hoge, man, huh?" And I go, "I know. I know." And he's like— he looks around so no one can hear us. And he goes, "We're gonna be fucking billionaires." And David, I fucking bought it. I was like, "You think?" And he was like, "Yeah." He's like, it's on. And I was like, you really think so? I'm like, oh my God. We got so excited. That's really weird. And now it's worth nothing.

It's worth nothing. My $100 grand is worth, I don't know.

I think my $50 grand is worth like $600.

It's really dumb.

I don't know why we thought it was going to go. Why did we think so?

Well, because I think that like—

So dumb.

I don't know. Yeah, either. Scott was just really convincing, I guess.

Okay. Can I tell you that the craziest— I think we have talked about this.

Yeah.

But now I'm literally looking at the text. I have looked it up in my phone.. And so when Dogecoin became big, yeah, um, was in 2021, January of 2021. That's when my group chats are going crazy with Dogecoin. Okay. Um, and now I'm looking up texts with Jonah. Jonah texted me in 2019, 2 years before anybody heard of Doge, before anybody heard about it. He goes, dude, there's this thing called Dogecoin. IDK if I should invest. People are predicting it might be a big deal in the future. Like, this is crazy.

This is what we say about Jonah. You know, you have to listen to every idea.

You have to listen to every idea because this idea would have made me, like, if I put in $5 grand, would have made me like $100 million at the time. Yeah, like, this is fucking insane.

And when Jonah told you about it, it was 0.0000001. Yeah, yeah, for like one coin. Yeah, it was like nothing.

It was nothing. Yeah, and it's really funny. And then he— and then I look up Doge in our text messages and he texted me A year or 2 years and 6 months later, he texted me saying, I bought Doge about like 2 years ago, but I can't remember my login to my Robinhood account.

Oh my gosh.

Which is really funny. And then I think that's where we left it. Yeah. That's why you just— and you just never know. That's why I don't do crypto. I don't like playing any of those stocks or anything.

I do really well with my stocks.

You do?

I like manage my portfolio by myself.

Yeah. What do you do? You play like the solid stuff, like the Googles and the Microsofts?

Honestly, this sounds crazy. And every like financial person that I speak to is like, you shouldn't do this. But like, I just go on to to like stock talk, you know, like, yeah, where they're talking about stocks on TikTok. And then I'll like, if somebody's like talking about one that's like trending and stuff, I'll like buy a little bit of it. Yeah. But like, I bought—

what, do you buy it and sell it?

This sounds funny, but I see how it works.

Do you buy it and sell it right, like, a little bit later?

No, I've held— like, like, Oracle is like one of my biggest performing stocks. It just surged, obviously. Like, I just made a fuck ton of money from Oracle.

Wow. What's a fuck ton?

Like 15, 20 grand.

Okay. Like a what investment?

I probably put in— I've already sold my Oracle Surge like 2, 3 years ago. And I was like, that was my first time ever experiencing something like that. And I sold it. I made $10,000 like 2 years ago.

You pay attention to your stocks like this? Yes. This is crazy.

When you're not working for me, when you should be working for me.

That's literally where my mind's at.

I mean, I don't like— I'm not like checking in every day.

Wait, wait, what's going on? How much time do you have? To miscalculate how much percentages I have in companies. But manage your Oracle stock portfolio.

It's all adding up. I'm not paying that much attention to it. I just like, I'll just like go peek at it. He's going to break.

You seem to get it right when it's your money.

That's really funny.

Anyways, that one has been a really great one. And obviously I don't know, I don't know shit about Oracle, but it just like it does well. Another one that I like, this is like if anybody wants Natalie's stock tips, but my other one that is my best performing stock, not financial financial advice.

Keep going.

Yeah, not financial advice, not management advice, just stock tips. Now you could be the best manager to your best friend from your hometown.

But this is like complete coincidence. I obviously have no idea what I'm doing. It's just like a gut feeling.

No, we know you know you don't know what you're doing.

Whatever. Yeah, everything is just got— like, I'm just like trusting my gut and I'm just fucking winging it, and it's worked out so far. But my other one is called Vijax. V-I-G-A-X. VIX. It's an index fund. Okay. And it has just like exponentially grown, like, like for the past couple years that I've had it. It's my highest performing stock.

It's like— also, please don't take stock advice from—

well, those two, that's the only ones. The other ones, don't fuck the other ones, but Oracle and VIX for sure. Okay, that's it.

Well, at least you know you have somewhere to go, Dave, when you lose it all.

Well, I don't know how much in there, but yo, I had, um, Steve, um, So Steve, Steve will do it. I'm sorry I'm bringing this guy up again.

Again?

I love it. I'm so into him. I love gambling and I finally have like a friend who like gambles more than I could ever fucking imagine. He called me yesterday. He was on stream. He did one roulette spin or sorry, one like spin on a machine. $750. Did I tell you this yet, Jay? No. I didn't tell you? No. $750. He pulled the lever. Yeah. Won $3.7 million.

I'm gonna be sick.

Isn't that crazy?

He was at a video machine in Vegas, or was he on stream?

Like, he was on stream.

He's playing on stream. Yeah, yeah, yeah, on a computer.

Yeah. And one—

shut the fuck up.

Yeah, it's crazy. It's crazy.

And you were on the call with him?

No, he called me like immediately to show me the screen that he just won $3.7 million.

Crazy.

Oh my God, it's amazing. And he's like, I just paid off $2 million in debt. I sent $1 million to my bank. I gave away $150,000. Oh, like, it's just like, I'm like, what? What? It's fucking insanity. That's what I'm saying. Like, I'm like, I don't like to gamble because I can't actually gamble the proper amount that makes me happy because I don't have the balls to risk it. Yeah. Do you know what I mean? Yeah. Like, betting $25 is what I'm comfortable with, but that doesn't, that doesn't give me enough of a juice flowing. Yeah. And if I bet actually what I'm supposed to be, I don't want that juice flowing. But I love watching people gamble. I love it. I love it. I'd sit next to Steve for fucking 18 hours if I could. But isn't that crazy? $3.7 million.

Yeah, there was a moment where we were in Vegas and everyone was getting really hyped around the roulette table and everyone was losing a lot of money. And Tim, Steve's friend who's my age, I'm looking out for him and he's losing money and I pulled him aside and I was like, hey, hey, Stop, stop, stop gambling. You know, you're losing. And he's like, ah, fuck it, I don't give a fuck. And he put it down and he won $5,000. I was completely wrong.

No, no, I mean, that's how, that's how a gambler thinks, right? Steve also called me today again because, you know, Steve lost $100,000 to me in pool.

Yes.

And he's like, dude, I want to thank you for the pool game. Like, so I didn't— gentleman. Yeah, he's like, I didn't tell you this, but like, after I lost I lost to you in pool. I sat on your couch because I tried to like win the money back on my phone and I lost $150,000 in silence on your couch. And I'm like, okay, so why are you thanking me? And he's like, well, I was so down and out that that night I went home and I gambled all night and I made $3.7 million. So it's like so funny. Wow. So, so yeah, he chalks it all up as like like an incredible butterfly effect of him losing money. Yeah. It's really funny how he looks at it.

Yeah. You asked me the other day if I'm jealous of you and I said no. And then I thought about it today and I was like, you know who I'm jealous of? It's John and Alex.

Oh my God.

That's awesome.

Not even John.

No, it's not Alex. It's John I'd be jealous of.

Really? I mean, they're living the life. They don't have the stress you have. And they're playing pickleball right now.

I know. That's crazy.

In the dark.

I know, with everyone on that court except John is a millionaire.

That is pretty nuts.

That's really funny.

Yeah, it's so funny. I've never like had the opportunity to be one of your friends that's just like a chiller. Like, I've always just been like—

you've always been a workhorse.

Yeah, I've always been a workhorse.

I mean, I don't have a lot of chiller friends.

Yeah, you do.

What are you talking about?

You've got quite a few.

Like, they're just like hanging out at the house.

I'm in that group.

What? No, you work so much.

I come over and chill quite a bit.

No, Jake, come on. Obviously you work like some of the most.

I don't lately.

I just want to be a chiller, bro.

You could literally, if that's what you want to do. Really?

Yeah. You think so? You think you would be able to leave me alone?

Wait, why? That's part of chilling. What? I don't leave you alone.

Like, I just saw Alex up in the window of his fucking huge bedroom and he was like opening it. He had his shirt off. He was all buff. And I was like, you motherfucker.

He's DJing. He's sauna and cold plunges during the day. We're all sitting in the living room doing our meetings and working, and he's just going back and forth from the sauna to the cold plunge pool.

My back is really fine.

My back is completely out. I would love to fucking sauna and cold plunge. Yeah, that's just crazy. I was like, he doesn't have to pick up Charlie. He doesn't have a college bill. It's like, I'm so jealous.

It is interesting, but they did pull their weight to get here.

Well, yeah, they shot your Vines when they were 15. It's kind of like Natalie's Oracle. They got in early.

I was doing that too. You weren't shooting my Vines like Alex was.

I was in the Vines. You needed a token girl.

I was there for you. You were with the popular kids doing drugs in basements.

Okay, I was helping you start Vine. I'm the one that pioneered your career.

Alex and John were sober kids. Sober kids. And all they wanted was what was best for me. And now I have to take care of them till they die.

See? Okay, I hope you—

It's amazing. Wait till John has a baby.

The nursery is when we have a baby.

Yeah, right upstairs.

My Filipino child. But you know what I'm excited for, Jay? What? Halloween is coming up in Los Angeles.

Oh, Halloween's such a big deal here.

You know why I really— why I love it? And I just realized in the car, so like, I see a lot of the same people over and over again when I go out. Yeah. And, and I don't know their names, but I see them all the time. And like, if they ever turn to me and said What's my name? I'd be fucked. But Halloween's so good that that's the moment I can ask people their names again because they'll be in disguise and I'll know who they are. But I'll be like, or I'll put, I'll put on some funky glasses or something so I can't see. Yeah, I'll be like, I can't really see, who is this? And they'll be like, it's Andy. And I'm like, Andy? Oh my God, what a fucking—

Andy, what's your last name?

Like, what a costume. What a fucking costume.

It's really funny. But if the costume's too good, it's like it's Andy, but you can't see it's Andy.

Yeah, you still don't know who it is. No, but I'm like, I'm really stoked about that. Yeah. Halloween here is like—

it's on steroids.

And everybody, like, people that don't ever go out throughout the year, like, everyone makes an exception for Halloween.

Yeah, everyone comes out.

It's so fun.

Why does everybody go so slutty?

Go so slutty?

Yeah. What is that?

I don't actually know. I was— dude, I was going through Halloween pictures I was like posting on Snapchat for my last Halloween. And like everyone, like, looking their best, right? Like, I even try. Like, I, like, I want to, you know, look approachable at parties.

You try. You put on a fucking firefighter costume.

That's my thing. So, so, like, so, like, I dressed up as Fred from Scooby-Doo the other day. Yeah, I remember. And his character's handsome. Sure. Right. And I want to give credit to Zane because Zane was dressed as Tom Brady, the GOAT. So he had the Brady— he had the Brady jacket on, and then he had, like, full prosthetics where he looked like a sheep, like a goat.

Goat.

Really?

Yeah.

Yeah, you remember that?

No, I remember Zane's costume. The— oh, that was so good. It was like a— he was like a digital guy.

Yes, that was amazing.

That was amazing.

He actually looked good there, right? But this was another costume where this prosthetic nose— he had patchy hair. He looked like a fucking real goat, right? And you could still tell it was Zane, but like just really gross because goats aren't naturally attractive things.

Yes, yes.

But I'm just like, damn, this is really cool, Zane.

Yeah, yeah, because it's like— it's thought— it's, it's thoughtful.

No, and it's like everyone's like—

it is—

everyone, everyone is peacock hot. Like, everyone's trying their best. Like, if you're a guy, you're just excited because, like, the girls really try, and it's, like, the most exciting thing ever.

It's so fun.

Like, everyone looks so beautiful, but Zayn's just like, fuck it, I'm gonna be a lamb. Like, I thought that was, like— I thought that was really cool going through the—

I pitched costume ideas to Naveen, and if the person that she's gonna be isn't hot, then we can't do it. Oh, that's how she works.

Yeah.

I mean, I do—

yeah. Yeah, I mean, that's like, it's like an unspoken thing, right? Like, you just, you have to be like just the hottest version of yourself.

Why? What? It used to be a joke. Yeah, it used to be like, I used to see a lot of internet memes like girls dressing slutty for Halloween, but now it's like not even a joke anymore.

Yeah, no, it's just like the norm now.

It's just like, yeah, duh, like you dress, you just a little provocatively for Halloween.

I just think it's like, it's just a good excuse. Like, you can't just go out on the town in like a little mini skirt just on a Tuesday, but when it's Halloween. You can't— I don't know. I don't know what it is about it.

Just like, I mean, I guess, yeah, I guess girls just want to look hot because they want to look hot, right?

Yeah, maybe you'll meet a Postmate that night.

That's really funny. Yeah, like, if I was a girl, like, unfortunately, like, I just, you know, you can't put anything on me to make me look that good. But if I had the option to put on, like, some nice lingerie— and I'm not saying for anybody else other than just for myself, sure, so I could feel good about myself— totally would take it. Yeah, like, if, you know, if it's like the day I wear a thong Hell yeah. I'm going to put that shit on for Halloween. But no, I'm really excited. We're trying to come up with themes for the Halloween party this year. This is pretty good.

You guys are really good with the themes, and I don't think it's easy.

Well, we've been stepping it up.

Isn't the theme just Halloween?

Well, that's what we've done in years past. Sometimes Nana wants to do a haunted Halloween.

I want to do—

Sometimes it's Halloween Town.

We did Halloween Town one year, so everything was themed after the movie with the taxi cab and all the whatever. And the Sanderson sisters and stuff. This year I'm really pushing for, like our Beverly Hills Hotel birthday party, amazing. 10 out of 10, loved that theme session. I wanna keep that going. Doing like a black and white Tim Burton style Halloween party. That's one option.

Now I wanna see Tim Burton. You know me, right? Like I'm not into—

He's not into like the too spooky.

Yeah, I'm not into like, when we have Halloween parties, my one request to the party planners is no spider webs. Yeah, I don't know why. I just like, I wanted to feel like elegant, and for some reason Spider-Man and Tim Burton's like, it's very scary to me.

Yeah, yeah. There's a house over in Toluca Lake that we trick-or-treat at, and he's an actual like VFX guy, and his house is like so scary.

Yeah, that's amazing. Yeah, but for some reason, like, like Coraline was, is, was like my sister's favorite movie growing up, and I just— is that a Tim Burton movie? Or is it just like in that same type of world?

I'm not sure.

I don't think— but it is like, it's the same type of thing.

Yeah.

Um, and it just scares the fucking shit out of me, right? Like, it's just like, it's like, I'm like, I'm uneasy watching it for some reason.

So what's the theme?

You don't have it yet. That's what she's aiming for.

I'm aiming for that. Or like, the backup option is just haunted hotel. Um, haunted hotel.

And we do like the photo booth can be like a, like an elevator. It's kind of cool.

Yeah, which could be cool. Which I'm not opposed to that. I feel like we'll probably do that because that's the one David is obviously leaning towards.

But yeah, but the parties have gone— like, we always get a sponsor to cover the party, right?

But it's like, it's like, well, we were just looking like at old parties that we did like 3 or 4 years ago, and the budget, the budget has obviously like doubled if not tripled now. But from where we started with the events to where they're at now, it's like just night and day.

It's just more— everything's just more expensive. We were in a store today It was like a high-end resale store. They pulled us inside.

And I saw that, yeah.

And the guy goes, and he goes, "How about this Miu Miu bag?" And Naveen goes, "I really like it." And I go, "Oh, how much is it?" And he goes, "It's two." And I go, "200 or 2,000?" And he goes, "2,000." Oh, wow. Like that. And I was like, "Oh, I don't know what anything costs." Yeah.

I wanted to get my house wrapped for Christmas.

Yeah.

And it was to get the entire house wrapped. It was like just like on the edges. Yeah. Not like the walls. Yeah.

Just to line the lights.

It was like $12,000 to $14,000.

Jesus.

It's unreal.

Which is like, what the fuck are you saying? And like, I know people are going to be listening to this podcast and they're going to be like, I'll do it. Right? Like, I know I'm getting scammed.

Yeah.

Yeah. I know there are.

I'll do it for $500.

Yeah. I'll fly in. I know there are places in the Midwest But I think everyone here is— I mean, you could just price gouge, right? Like, it's just—

well, and it's also just that time of year. Like, everybody wants the lights, so like, they know that they can.

Yeah. Yeah. But I'm not going to do it.

Do you have any good trick-or-treating stories when you were a kid?

Ooh.

I mean, where did you trick-or-treat? Did you go to Craig's Landing?

Like, into the—

no, I couldn't imagine you, a kid trick-or-treating. What a wild night.

Like, it was amazing. Yeah. Well, it was just tough because we got out of school like 2 or 3. Yes. And then we would just have to sit and be like, we'd be looking at each other like, is it too early to go now? Yeah.

Yeah.

We'd be like, waiting. Like, I think it's— we could probably go now. We're probably going out. And obviously the best houses are the ones with the coolers where it's just like, take as many as you want or take one, whatever. A rich house. Yes. That's a little different. So our friend Mike had the rich house and he would always give big chocolate bars. So we stopped by him, which is kind of cool that we knew Mike. Yeah, you went to the big neighborhoods?

I would go to the big, like, where all like the mansions were and stuff.

Yeah.

And there was one house that everybody knew, and they were like, like the cool family. They had a basketball court inside their home. I guess a massive home, and they would give away every kind of king-size candy bar.

I think we need Mythbusters on this. What? Well, on just like the massive house to townhouse ratio, because townhouses are so clustered together that if you hit a good section of them, you're hitting like 8 different candy bars for the amount of—

that's why Dave didn't go to the big houses. He stuck with the townhomes.

I had my math. I had my math down. Like, yeah, you got one candy bar, but you just walked 100 yards down one driveway. That's true. So like, and I'm over here hitting 8 houses in the time you're hitting one.

Did Jen give out candy?

Fuck no. She probably stole shit from kids.

No, we gave out candy.

Fucking no way they gave out candy. No way. No way, she's probably selling it. Oh my God, John, give out candy. What was your craziest Halloween story?

Um, I don't know, I just remember getting the candy and like just unloading the candy on the, on the table, just being like, oh my God, and like not even remembering that you got certain stuff because you were out so long. So good.

But sorting it and trading it was always the favorite part. Yeah, just—

yeah, my favorite was, uh, when we did that bit with you, Jay. Do you remember the Halloween No. So it was like these, like, a group of, like, a group of a girl— it was a group of girls and their dad came to the door. You weren't there. And I— oh yes, yeah. And I was like, oh my god, this is like such a good group. And like, they're, they're with their dad, and their dad was like, I love the vlogs. I was like, can we prank Jason real quick?

Yes.

And, and then I, and I was like, I'm gonna tell Jason to give these girls like, like beers as a joke. Yes, we're out of candy. Yes. And then the dad, he has to come like right behind him and be like, did you just give my fucking daughter's beer?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I did?

Yeah, yeah. Oh my God.

That's crazy. And then he was like, you gave my daughter fucking beers? And then you're like, I'm so sorry, sir. It was just a joke. Obviously we're going to take them back.

Oh, I wasn't giving them. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I knew I wasn't going to let them leave with the beer. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Okay, okay. What the fuck? Yeah, yeah.

Because I wouldn't do that.

Yeah, yeah.

I take that shit really seriously, actually.

No, I know.

It was obviously a joke.

They want to have parties at the house and stuff. And like, Marnie will be like, they can have a little something to drink. Like when Wyatt had his graduation party, I'm like, no, they can't. Like, no one can drink here.

Yeah, it's really tough.

You can't. You're that kind of parent.

I take it really seriously.

I just want the lawsuit. No, I don't. Yeah, I don't think I could.

Like, that's really funny.

I'd love to be the cool parent, like in where we live. You can't. But it's not only that, it's like, you don't know what— unless all parents are there. Yeah. Like, if everyone's parent is there and the kids. And it's like everyone's driving their kid home, whatever. And it's like this crazy party.

I shit on alcohol all the time to my kids. I'm like, so. But so dumb. You shouldn't do that. So stupid.

Yeah, it's pretty fucking dumb. But, like. Like, the reason I would never have that shit at my house is just like, you don't know who's gonna drive home.

So then the guy came in and he got me. He's like, what the fuck are you doing?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then he was like. And then I just watched the vlogging, and he goes. He goes, Jason, you're right about David. Like, the second he saw me, he goes, yes, yeah, he goes, the second he saw me, he read me like a book and he's like, you're perfect for this bit. He cast me in the vlog immediately.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Remember the doctor we went and saw? Wasn't there a doctor? Well, some chiropractor or something.

Uh, weren't you getting like your like shots in your penis?

Oh yeah, the penis shots was wild.

Yeah, you were getting penis shots to like make your penis like pumpier. I have no fucking idea.

Pump your penis?

You would be the weirdest.

They would shock my— they would shock my balls to make my, uh, boner bigger. We went and did that as a bit.

Yeah, it's probably enough time for the podcast.

I think we can wrap it up here.

Wait, I just have a funny story to say, is that we watched an old vlog the other day and it was Alex Ernst crashing a, uh, a motorcycle, and we were— we were saying how this is like David's wet dream.

Yeah, he crashed crashed his— it was, it wasn't even a motorcycle. He crashed a— what was it?

It's like a motorcycle with a sidecar.

Yeah, it was a moped with a sidecar, and he crashed it into my Tesla in like a cartoon way. Yeah, like the wheel was still spinning and it was basically on the hood of my car.

Yeah, nobody got hurt.

Yeah. And, and Alex was just like, thank God this happened to you. That's just really funny. And yeah, we were like looking at the bit, and like, I'm such a stickler about what people are wearing Right, Alex had a pink shirt on. And I'm like, look at Alex's shirt, it's perfect color. Because I'm always like, every time Taylor comes in and she's wearing like dark black or gray, I'm like, fucking go to my closet and just grab a colored shirt that I have. Because I just hate not color, because when we shoot videos, I think color is just so important. And everyone that was coming out of the car, then Carly came out of the car and I was like, look at that, a red shirt! This is like a perfect fit for me.

No, you go Carly and Aaron, you're like, we're saying like it just keeps getting better, Jonah's got a blue shirt, and you're like, Carly and Aaron come out of the car, And then they did come out of the car. They were there.

And then she came out of the restaurant.

Yeah, it was fun.

Alright guys, it's that time. We have a podcast. Thank you guys for joining us. It's getting late here. It's time for me to take a nap. Thank you, Jason. Thank you, Natalie.

You're welcome.

Thank you, Dave. See you guys soon.

Have a good weekend. Tell everybody a good weekend.

Good weekend.