David Owes Them a Million Dollars

What's up guys, welcome back to Views, the podcast where Jason bought his kid a brand new drum set because he did something wrong. What'd you do wrong? I saw— I walked in today and there's a drum set sitting in the living room, so I know Jason fucked up.

Um, I, I took— I bought some heroin in front of him.

That's not that bad.

Yeah, how do you think I paid for the drum set?

You sold the heroin?

Yeah, no, I sucked someone off and then got heroin in cash.

Um, I'm proud of you. I think your son deserves a drum set.

Thanks, man.

I want to just roll the intro music because I got something I'm really pissed about I want to talk about. Okay, ready? Yeah, fucking fire away with the intro song, boy. Damn, that was a sick intro song. Okay, I want to get right into some podcast topics today. Guess where I just came back from?

Where?

The doctor.

Oh no.

Yeah.

Are you okay?

No.

What?

I'm kidding.

That's not even funny, David.

You know why I said that? 'Cause I said that to cheer myself up, 'cause I'm in such a bad mood about this that I was like, it could be worse. I could've just come back from the doctor and I could've gotten bad news. So now I'm all cheered up. Now I'm not in a bad mood.

What happened?

Well, I—

It's not funny. You shouldn't joke about your health.

No, I'm not.

'Cause you're the type of person that something bad will happen to.

Yeah, yeah.

'Cause you've been fucking going 110%.

Okay, here we go.

Every single day, every single hour.

I had a talk with my accountant.

You said your dick's too big?

Yeah, my accountant was—

wait, she's like a doctor or accountant?

Accountant.

So you didn't go to the doctor?

No, I went to my accountant, but my dick is too big.

Got some bad news, David.

I got some bad news. Money's fine, your cock is huge. Um, uh, where was I?

You didn't go to the doctor?

I didn't go to the doctor. I should. I haven't been to the doctor in 3 years. I haven't had a checkup in 3 years.

Yeah, you're fine, you're 21.

No, I'm not. I, I, I, I have like— I can feel like parts of my body that aren't healthy. Okay, it's not the same anymore.

What does that mean?

Anyway, let's get to that. Let's get to the topic of discussion. Um, I went to see my accountant. I know a lot of people like— not a lot of people, there's some people out there that don't like when I talk about money because they're fucking weird. But I think money's like so normal and such a normal part of life, so that's why I like talking about it. Yeah, I found out— she gave me a rough estimate of how much I'm paying for taxes.

How much?

Fucking brutal, bro.

Let me guess.

Well, I don't want you to guess too high, 'cause then it ruins it.

Million.

$1.7 million.

I was gonna say $1.5 million, but I didn't wanna bum you out. $1.7 million in taxes? Have you been paying through the year?

No.

Oh, David, why not?

What sucks about it, this is my least favorite part about the whole thing, is that I pay these taxes, but I'm under DACA. I know I complain about this so much, I'm sorry, but I'm under DACA, so I can't leave the country. So I'm— I don't have the privileges of a US citizen, but I have to pay as much as a normal citizen would, which sucks. Like, if you're gonna make me pay that much money, like, just at least let me live here legally, right?

Yeah, I'm surprised. Like, rich people can buy themselves out of everything, but you can't buy yourself out of this.

I don't know. I think it's also because I'm a kid. I don't have those loopholes yet. Do you know what I mean? Like, I can't—

Hey, money's money. I mean, Drew Barrymore, she—

What'd she buy herself out of?

She bought herself out of her parents. Really? Yeah, she took her parents to court. She got rid of them.

Shut up.

Yeah, what is that called? I'm not smart enough to remember the big word, but I know she took him to court when she was like 14.

She took him when she was 14?

Yeah, she was like, you know, she legally, uh, you know, got rid of her parents. I'm saying it, I'm butchering it, but yeah, that's what she did.

She was actually 30. Was she actually 14?

She was a kid. She, she wanted to— I can't remember the freaking word. What's the word?

Who cares? She divorced her parents.

She divorced her parents, essentially.

But she was 14.

Something like that. Yeah, a little kid in court.

How did she have so much money?

She was a major movie star. She was in E.T.

Oh, she's the girl from E.T.?

Get the fuck out of here.

I'm already cheered up for my $1.7 million. Who cares what I'm paying? That's sick.

You got your parents.

That's a fun story. No, well, I needed the $1.7 million because I was about to divorce my parents.

No, but it sucks.

It's just so— it's just so annoying. It's just like, I don't— I, I I can't even wrap my head around it. $1.7 million is so much money. It's something we could—

maybe we should go down the black market.

What do you mean?

Go down, you know, I know some guys that go downtown and I don't know, maybe we can talk to somebody that knows somebody, you know what I mean?

And kill the people that do my taxes?

Oh, shh, quiet. Jesus Christ, man, what do you want me to go to jail?

I mean, I don't know, I feel like it almost would be a better bet for me to leave the country and change my identity and just live off that money for the rest of my life.

Makes no sense.

No?

Why would you do that?

Because I'm lit.

Why would you have to change your identity? That part would just be for fun.

I buy a fake mustache.

Yeah, what are we gonna do? You're gonna go where?

Well, no, because, because then I, um, I have to change my identity because they'll find me and they'll bring me back to the United States for, for jail. Oh, if I don't change my identity, if I skip out on taxes like that, they'll find me, bro.

Oh, I see. You think they'd, um Extradite you back?

Yeah. No, yeah, they would.

No way.

I think that's enough money to be like, this guy's a fucking douche.

No, because then you're back in the country. They don't want you here. I thought they didn't— they'd have— make up your mind, U.S. government, you want him here or not.

Um, yeah, but anyway, if any of you guys have any parents that work at the U.S. government, um, tell them that they suck because they're not helping me out here.

Yeah, and if your dad's a lawyer or if you're a lawyer and contact me and let's figure this out so David can leave the country so I can go to Australia and—

oh yeah, we got it.

We do a tour.

We got a deal. We got a deal in Australia that was like—

it just sucks that you can't leave the country.

It was, it was a couple hundred grand and we had to pass on it because I'm not allowed to leave the country to make money for our country, right? The whole thing is just so confusing.

Or even just to like go to Amsterdam for your vlog. Yeah, it would be so lit.

It's still work.

Maybe if we explain that to Donald Trump, we were like, how lit it would be if Todd is hooking up with girls in Amsterdam.

No, you don't get it. Yes, I've Jason of the walls in America, but Amsterdam has the best walls in the, in the world.

It really is a bummer too when we like plan stuff and then like, you know, and David can't go. It's like, and I almost don't want to bring it up, like I, I feel bad. I'm like, yeah, or I'll start talking about it.

He's going to Bora Bora in May and he's brought up 4 or 5 fucking times and I'm like, Jason, I shut up, I can't go.

Um, I know, it's terrible.

You know what my accountant told me? She said I need to spend more money. She said I need to spend more money to write off more things.

Yeah, you don't buy anything. Yeah, all you do is vlog.

I didn't know that was ever going to be a problem.

Is—

I am not spending enough money.

What could you spend your money on?

I'm gonna buy you something.

Okay, how are you gonna write that off? What?

I'm kidding. I'm not gonna—

oh, well, I mean, but even if you— even if you were to spend, uh, 200, you know, buy a car, I don't— you can't write off a Lamborghini.

Yeah, you can. You can write it because it's for work.

Not if you already— can you only write off one car? No, you don't need two cars for work.

Well, when you have a lit job like me and it's like—

I guess if it's part of production, you know that I'm—

that I'm writing off going to the movies. Did you know that? I get to write off going to the movies. Yeah, because she said it's basically studying for me.

Yeah, I do that too.

Isn't that nuts? When you're in the entertainment industry, you get to write off going to the movie theater so you don't pay taxes on it. Uh-huh. That's dope.

Yeah, it's pretty cool. I like that. I like that. I see, so the government is doing something good. Yeah. That's worth your $1.7 million right there. Look how many times you made it back when you went and saw a bad date night or whatever. What did we see?

We just saw a date night. Oh, dude, I just saw the movie Downsizing.

Oh yeah, tell me about it. You were like all up in arms about Downsizing.

This is my first time I saw it. I saw it with Liza. I'm not gonna lie, I think it's the worst movie I've ever seen in my entire life.

Worse than Game Night?

Dude, it is awful.

Really?

I'm sorry if any of your parents worked on it and you're listening to this shit. It is just next-level trash. One of the worst movies I've ever seen. Please, if you have a chance— oh, if you're an actor in the movie, um, you're great. You guys are great actors, but the movie just doesn't fucking work. I don't even want to talk about it because a lot of people don't know what I'm talking about. But check out the movie Downsizing. Let me know if you hate it or like it or what.

A lot of things can go wrong when you make a movie.

Can I say what I thought was really funny the other day?

What?

We were at a— we were at a car dealership with It was me, Jason, and his girlfriend Trisha. And, um, and love you, baby. Are you talking to me?

What?

You talking to me?

Nope.

No, that was Trisha. Um, and we saw a Maybach, and it's a $330,000 car.

Yeah.

And I, I told Trisha, I'm like, Trisha, that car is really cool, you should get it. And the next day she goes back and she goes and tries to buy the car, right?

Yeah, I heard this story.

What is that all about?

I literally— she didn't go with you?

No, I said like 4 nice things about the car, and the next day she went and tries to get it.

Yeah, she said something really weird. She was like, she's like, I think I might buy this car because David's like a cute, like a hot young boy, and if like a hot young boy likes the car, then like I want to get the car.

And I was like, what, $330,000 car?

She respects what hot young boys— I guess hot with quotations, cuz I'm not sure you are, but no, no, no, I heard she said hot.

I heard you the first time.

Yeah, that's what she said. And then she really respects your opinion on cars. I think she makes—

amazing. And she went to the dealership the next day to buy it, and they wouldn't let her Because they didn't think she had enough money.

Yeah, that happened to her. She tried to buy her Corvette.

Bullshit.

And that's why she bought the Corvette out of spite, because they wouldn't talk to her. And then she was like, you know what, fuck you guys, I'm gonna pay cash right now.

Maybe that's a— maybe that's actually how they do it. Holy shit.

Oh, you think?

What if that's a sales technique? Because think about it, I've been in situations like that too where people like doubt that I can buy something, and I'm like, fuck you, I'm buying.

Maybe Oh, that's brilliant. Wow, it wouldn't surprise me if that's a sales tactic.

Oh my God, that's probably how they sold the Corvette to Trisha.

Mm-hmm. Wow, that's brilliant.

Because think about it, like, if you come in and I'm like, ah, you don't have the money for this thing, let's go look at other cars, right? You would be so furious. You'd be like, fuck you, dude, I'm buying.

No, I'd be like, yeah, you're probably right, it's probably a bad—

you'd be like, holy shit, right on, dude, how'd you know?

I don't think that could be possibly true. It doesn't work. No. You wouldn't ever, ever try to talk someone out of spending more money.

Oh no, that's always—

Reverse psychology?

No, no, no, that's not reverse psychology. You've never done— that's a sales tactic. It's to sell—

like, it's to undersell it?

No, not to undersell it, but if I come in looking for an expensive car, you pitch me the cheaper one. That's a known sales tactic.

Yeah?

Yeah. If I come in and I want the $80,000 version of the car, they'd be like, yeah, but honestly, like, let's be real, that's a great car.

Right.

But the $60,000 car? Literally does everything that you want it to, just a little cheaper. That's the way to sell it.

How could that possibly work?

Because it works.

No, it doesn't. I'd be like, yeah, all right, you're right. That's what I want to hear.

Because it gets you— it gets you thinking, and you're like, oh man, this, this car salesman isn't just out to get me, right? What I mean, like, he's my friend. He's actually helping me out here.

Yeah. And maybe he's gonna get you on your side for a minute. I can see that.

It's on your side, and then you buy the car.

Anyway, call King, see what he says. Let's ask him.

Moral of the story is I'm paying a lot in taxes and I'm—

And you're wearing a red blanket right now.

And I'm wearing a red blanket right now.

And you look like you're about to crumble inside and I love watching you suffer.

But I have a big dick, according to my doctor.

I think that was a joke that we said earlier. That was a joke? Yeah, I don't think it actually happened.

Oh, fuck. Well, I ran with it.

And what have you been doing? David hasn't been vlogging, everybody.

I haven't been.

And it's been so nice. That you're not vlogging.

You're a dick.

No, I'm just saying, like, I, I missed— I miss— I miss it a little bit. Like, Scott walks around looking for you all the time now. It's really weird. Scott's like a dog.

It's been 5 days since I've, uh, I've put a pause on vlogging. Um, initially I didn't think I was gonna, like, stop vlogging. Initially I thought I was still gonna vlog, but then I thought to myself that I don't want to vlog because if I, if I post the footage— uh, if you don't follow my channel, I'm posting my 420th video on 4/20, so that's why I'm putting a pause so it lines up perfectly. And yeah, I've just been taking a break.

Yeah, it's good.

And it's—

Tell everybody, why did you need a break?

I didn't need one.

You didn't need one?

I think, I'm telling you, I was so— the second I stopped, the next day I was fucking furious. I was just sitting in my room and I was swearing. I'm like, what fucking idiot needs a break from work? What fucking idiot needs a vacation? Because it's just, it's awful, dude. It's awful to have free time. It is the devil. It's— it reminds—

We talked about it for so long. We talked about it for months and months and months. Now it's here and you're fucked.

Free time reminds me of when I first moved out to LA and I didn't have anything to do, but I wanted to do something. It sucks. It's awful. It is never good to have free time. People that take time off on the weekends blow my fucking mind. Blow my fucking— what do you do? I went out to dinner with you guys. Sure, that was great once in a while, but like— Dude, we sat there for like 2 hours.

Well, now you were editing.

I was— okay, I was editing.

And you were with Zane and Trisha. That wasn't me.

Yeah, but, but it's just like, I don't know what to do. Like, I— like, we have friends out here that go out to breakfast with friends and go out to lunch with friends, and they do it.

Breakfast is great.

They do it too. They do it. I don't— it blows my mind. I— listen, I, I— when I was vlogging, people would always be like, you're so busy, you're so I never, I was always like, yeah, yeah, I'm busy, but like calm down, I'm not that fucking busy.

Yeah, you are.

And I didn't know.

You can't sit at dinner.

Yeah, I didn't know until now, and like I'm like, I have so much free time, I'm like holy shit, I was really fucking busy. There was not a second of my day, not a second. If I'm sitting on the couch, okay, but like that's not, like I am thinking about the vlog, like 110% of the time.

Sure.

There's not a second of my day that's not preoccupied with the thoughts of work. And like, I miss that so much.

But that's boring.

It is not boring.

Yeah, but it's good for you to take a break. It's so nice. What ain't nice? It's good for the podcast because now you can tell us what you're really like.

Because it scares me. It's fucking scary because I want to— I want to get back into it, and I'm scared I won't be able to like fucking, you know, kill it.

Yeah, you will.

I, I hate taking a break. It's—

what have you been thinking about? What did you do today? What time did you get up today?

Today? Yeah, I had a meeting, so I got up at like, I got up at like 9, 10, I don't remember. But I mean, I haven't been doing anything, dude. I literally, you know what I did? Liza came over the other day and she and I pulled out, like, she was on a call on like my, on, on my, in my backyard. So I pulled out two lawn chairs. Yeah, and I had her sit down. I brought out a blanket. I sat down too, and then I got her a beer and I got myself a beer and I cracked it open. Just to fucking sit down on the lawn chairs.

And how was that?

I mean, I guess this doesn't sound funny to anybody else, but that's—

oh no, it's— it sounds hilarious to me and everyone listening.

It's very unlike me to do something like that.

And how was it?

And then it was fine, it was great. But like, but then we didn't do anything. We sat around and it was— I mean, it was the best because I was hanging out with Liza, but like, but like, I didn't feel like I had a purpose. Like, I didn't feel like— I felt very like sad inside. Like there's nothing going on. Like, what was I living my days for? Because I didn't have— I didn't— I wasn't posting, I wasn't creating anything. Like, I'm genuinely just like, like, fucking—

you have a fear of yourself. You have a fear of who you are.

What the fuck are you saying, Yoda?

You fear who you are and you need to get in touch with who you are. I watched this documentary on Ric Flair Saturday night. Yeah, you know that is No, he's one of the greatest wrestlers of all time, and he was a very— he was a flamboyant wrestler, and he used to like say like, I'm rich and you're poor and I got the jet and blah blah blah. That's all he ever did. And he became that guy because he hated himself. Yeah, he became Ric Flair. His real name is Ric Flair. He had like a Canadian name. And that's you, you're Ric Flair. You have to— you have to sit in those moments with Liza to learn who you really are. You need to go way far away to a fucking meditation camp. I'm serious, man.

But I think I know who I am.

Concentration camp? What do you mean, Jason? No, I said meditation camp.

No, I think I know who I am.

No, you don't. You're, you're wrapped up in your work. You know who work David is, but you don't know who you are.

But I love work David.

That's because you don't want to look at who you are.

Jesus Christ, what the fuck is going on?

You have to strip all that away from yourself. And really find out. You sitting on that lawn chair with Liza is good for you because you have to be able to sit in those moments. It's not always going to be fucking, you know, no, no, no, vlog, lit vlog central.

I love that moment, but it was— it wasn't the moment that I didn't like. Like, I can, I can have that moment with Liza even when I'm working, but it's, it's the, like, the thoughts behind the moment. Like, I'm— I'll be in the moment, I'll be like, fuck, after this I have nothing to do. Like, it's like that. It's like, I like, I like having some direction. I I have, okay, I need to get this done, but I didn't have anything to get done, and it was frustrating.

Bro, I've been to the movie theater twice in the last 4 days.

Research stuff for your 420 vlog, intake stuff. There's intake and outtake, especially for a creative person. No, I'm not. You have to intake moments, you have to observe. Go down to a coffee shop and listen to the way people talk.

This is the entire podcast so far, just me fucking my life coming into, my life is breaking down right in front of me.

See, that's exactly what needs to happen.

What do you mean?

You have to break down your life and understand who you are. You have no idea.

Bro, what are you saying? What are you on about?

I'm saying you don't know who you are because you're all wrapped up in work.

But who cares?

Who cares?

Yeah.

You need to care. You need to know who you are. Why would I? Because ultimately, David, you'll end up, you'll crash and burn.

I will crash and burn?

Yeah, you will. You'll crash and burn. You'll have a major, major freakout and you'll have a nervous breakdown if you don't come into contact with who you really are. Wow. I'm telling you, man. And yeah, I took a bunch of mushrooms this morning, but that doesn't deny the fact that you need to really look at yourself.

I guess, yeah. I mean, I don't—

It's been so nice with you not vlogging. Oh, it's so fucking great. I love it. I love every minute of it. I do my vlog and then I'm done. I don't have to look at your vlog. I don't have to look at it 10 times. I don't have to run over to Jonah's house on the day we post and find an ice cream truck in the middle of the road and then run around the corner hiding from Vardan so he doesn't see me with a camera.

Trying to kidnap kids.

I don't have to kidnap kids. I mean, it's been so nice. It's been really great. And Scott is despondent. He just looks so lost. He keeps walking over to the couch where you edit. He's like, David's not here. And I'm like, yeah, I know.

Yeah, it's—

He's like, it's weird. Something's off. It's very—

this is a very good— no, it's— You know what it's done for me is it's given me— I've realized how much I love work.

Good.

And that's what I've found out about myself, and that I need it. I need it to function. I 100% need it to function. Because—

You're making me insane.

The worst part about it is I'm a lazy person, really lazy person. So when you say things like, go exercise, go to the beach, I can't do that because I'm lazy. I don't have motives. I'm not motivated. Time I can really work out is when I'm vlogging, when my schedule is cramped, because other than that, I just, I just sleep all day. I sleep for a long time and I'm lazy the entire time. I'm on the couch. I can't even go out to dinner because I'm just lazy.

Really?

I need to work to be in motion. Like, I need to keep moving. Like, if I stop, it's when I shut down.

You think you're gonna fall into new LA, Dave, when you first moved here? You're afraid you're gonna fall into that.

It will happen. No, Jason, I fucking know myself.

No, that's not gonna happen. That was just you.

No, it wasn't just me.

Why would that— how you can't—

you happening now? No, it's not. Yes, it is.

You have a house now. You have people that work for you, bro. You have a big channel.

That's not gonna happen. I fucking know. I know.

So you're a drug addict? I mean, what are you saying?

Fucking very close to it, my friend. I'm telling you, I need to work. I need to do stuff.

You're addicted to Chipotle. That's it.

Yeah, fucking addicted to crack at this point. No, it's very point blank. I can have times with Liza on a lawn chair, but I need to be working too. I need to have a purpose in life. I can't just be sitting around. That's not me. I know that for a fact. And if I am just sitting around, I'm gonna waste my day.

Well, you learned something from all this, which is good.

Yeah.

So, what are you doing tonight?

I don't know. I don't know. This is my last thing I'm doing today, and then I literally have nothing to do.

It's so funny. Yeah, it's the funniest thing to see you like flounder. It sucks because you are always in motion. You always have direction.

And like, I don't want to film because I don't want to— because I'm not posting until April 20th, and if I film something with you in the living room, it'll get stale by the time I post it. So I don't want to be like shooting stuff. I don't know, I just don't want to—

you can always post it after April 20th. I mean, like, I don't know, some stuff—

I'm sorry, I'm sorry, this type of fucking podcast is just me bitching about everything. Just obviously you've given—

this is the best podcast because people are actually listening to the real you.

You can see, you can see what kind of fucking life I have after the vlog. It's brutal, guys.

In your defense, you, you live an extreme life, and, and without it, I, I would break down too. I would totally break down if I worked as hard as you did and I was as focused as you did, and then one day it just stopped.

It was my It was— dude, it was literally an addiction. Yeah, and like, I had— and now I'm like, I have withdrawals. Like, I can't— I can't focus.

Hey, I'm right there with you. I'm fucking addicted to your vlog too. You think I, you know, want to be—

whatever.

How many times I've been out with you at like 12 at night and I'm like, I can't even keep my eyes open. You're like, one more, one more, we can make one more stop. Dom's got a girl over and I think— I really think this could be it. And then we go there and and you don't even have a key to the apartment and Dom's not there and we're locked outside the apartment?

You know what's tough is working out is tough.

You've been great at working out.

I know, but it's tough when I don't have a motive. But you know what keeps me in check?

What?

Beachbody On Demand. It's an easy to use— I thought there were ads. It's an easy to use streaming service. It gives you instant access to a wide variety of super effective workouts you can do from the comfort of your living room 24/7.

Yeah.

This is the company behind P90X, Insanity, 21 Day Fix, T25, Brazil Butt Lift, PiYo, Pop Abs, 3 Week Yoga Retreat, and more. They fucking, they did everything. This is the real thing, guys. Hundreds of effective workouts for all fitness levels, ranging from bodybuilding to weight training to cardio, HIIT to yoga, and even dance workouts.

Mm-hmm. Workouts as short as 10 minutes that don't require extra equipment, David.

That's amazing.

I'm talking about the time it takes you to drive and park at the gym You could already be working out.

No, 100%. And I actually recently bought a treadmill in my own house, and I can 100% attest to how nice it is to get a workout real quick right in your home. And that's what you can do with Beachbody On Demand. I sound like a fucking salesperson. Access anywhere, anytime, viewing your computer, tablet, smartphone, Roku, Apple TV, Chromecast, and more.

I do the ab workout. I put it right on my iPad. I got a little stand for the iPad. Yeah, do the ab workout, 10 minutes. I'm ready to go, man.

I, I, I really want you guys to try the service because it's, it's just so easy and it's so quick and efficient. It's, it's the best. And our listeners can get a free special membership when you text VIEWS to 303030. You will get full access to the entire platform.

What do I do?

I get my phone and you text VIEWS.

Same for the older people.

Text VIEWS to 303030.

Now where— how do I turn my phone?

That's Beachbody On Demand. All right, well, I'm sorry about being so pouty and stuff.

What are you talking about?

I don't know, I feel like I just came here and I just fucking bitched.

Yeah, well, that's what this podcast is for.

It shouldn't be. It shouldn't be about me bitching. It should be about fun things.

I don't think you're bitching. I think it's so interesting.

So interesting.

I wish we had a— I wish we agreed upon what the podcast was, but I mean, I like when it's fun too, but I think this is really—

Oh, so that wasn't fun, huh? I like when we have a good time too.

No, I like when we're just gagging around, but I think this is far more interesting.

No, it's definitely It's definitely interesting, especially when I'm going broke.

So $1.7 million. If you need to borrow money, let me know.

I honestly may need to borrow money. I was just—

Wait, what?

No, but Zane fucking borrowed $60,000 from me, and he still hasn't paid me back. Guys, please tweet me if any of your friends have borrowed $60,000 from you. What is this? Zane was just sitting at his computer and he turns to me, he's like, "Oh, David, can I borrow $60,000 real quick?" Really quick. It's been a month and a half. And then the other day he was talking about his account and he was like saying how much he had in there and Dave was like, "Is that with my 60?" He's like, "Oh yeah, yeah, yeah." I asked him 'cause like for taxes I was wondering how much he's gonna have to pay and he's like, I'm like, "How much money you have in there?" And he's like, I don't know, he said a number. I'm like, oh, so that— that— is that with my income, or is that with my money? He's like, yeah, yeah. Um, yeah, so Zane, if you're listening to this, give me my money back. Um, I need to pay for—

it's always awkward when people have money and you can't get it back.

Is it?

Yeah, I think so.

My God, dude, I, I remember I used to be—

you're really good about it.

I'm so good at it.

You always— even if like, even if like you buy a— if I buy you like gum, you always Venmo me like a dollar.

The one time I, I had my friend pay for two McDoubles or something like that at McDonald's and I didn't pay him back. I confessed to him about it a year and a half later. He did? Yeah.

And what'd he say?

He laughed because he's like, are you serious? Because we still didn't have money at the time, so it was kind of a big deal.

Dude, do it. Tell me what you said exactly.

I was like, dude, I don't know if you remember, but hey Mike, uh, I want to talk to you about something.

What is it, Dave?

I think I've said this story on the podcast. It was like to John or something. And I'm like, yeah, I, um, I— oh, you paid for my McDoubles. And my Fruitopia, and I didn't pay you back at all. And he's like, what? I'm like, remember we went inside that day? And he's like, oh my God, I remember. And yeah, I snuck it by him, because paying back our friends in our hometown was a big deal because we didn't have a lot of money. So it was like every dollar you owed back to your friend. But yeah, can I tell you something about something interesting that happened? My friend, he's working on a He's working on a show and they hired a bunch of kids to come in and play the background noise. They came into like a studio and they had to record the sound of the kids talking, 'cause the scene was in a, it was in like an auditorium, right? So they needed background sounds of a bunch of kids having a conversation to play behind the scene. Does that make sense? Like ADR. So there's like maybe 10 kids that came in to work, and the director— this is what he told me— the director goes, guys, can you do me a favor and just do that scene one more time, except this time a little more emotion? And one kid goes, I don't identify as a guy. And then like 4 of the others joined in too. And it was like 7 out of the 10 kids were really mad. That the director called them guys. These are like 14-year-old kids, like, just like, like upset. Like, that's not— we are— we're not— we're not girls or boys. Like, we're not identifying as anything. And it wasn't even like a joke. Like, you know, people joke around and they're like, um, don't assume my gender. Like, people make like weird jokes like that.

Yeah.

But like, it was all these kids, and, and then the director kept saying it. And like, the director— he was telling me that the director would be like, okay guys— oh fuck, I mean everybody— because the kids were getting mad. Isn't that Interesting.

Yeah, very interesting.

What do you think about that?

I think it's LA.

You think it's LA?

I think those are LA actor kids and that's how they are. And I don't think that's happening.

You don't think it's happening everywhere else?

It's a little intense happening in Vernon Hills.

Even— no, even if you don't— I mean, I don't know, even if you don't identify as like a girl or a boy, like, I feel like guys is just like a word, do you know what I mean?

Right?

Like, guys, guys is, is— guys is for fucking people. It's guys. It's just like that kind of word. I don't— I don't like— if I see— if I see 8 girls, I'll even be like, guys, can you come over here? Like, guys, it's just a word.

There's a certain— there's a certain kind of mom and dad in LA that works in the entertainment industry that is like really liberal. My kids grew up with— went to a preschool with them, and they're— yeah, they're out of control.

Well, explain.

There's just a certain kind of like liberal Hollywood person that's raising their kids to like make the world a better place, and in their minds they think they're doing the right thing by being like, no, no, no, we're all equal, it's not guys, it's, you know, it's, it's, it's people, it's everyone. And I think, and they, they mean, they mean well, but you know, they're trying to change.

I almost think that's the wrong message. I don't know much about messages or how to be equals, but I think, I think calling everybody as a one instead of guys and a girl, I think it's almost backwards thinking. Because I think you should be able to call a guy a guy and a girl a girl and still have that be equal, right? Why does she think that if you say that's a boy and that's a girl, that's not equal?

Because you wouldn't in the room go— if there was like 4 boys and 4 girls, you wouldn't go, okay girls, let's do this thing. That's their argument, you know? Like, you wouldn't do that because then the little boy would be like, I'm not a girl.

I guess. But I, like, like I said, I don't, I don't look at the word guys as like, as like this masculine word.

It is.

I think boys, boys, like, I guess if you said boys, I would never say boys.

That's a good point. Yeah, you wouldn't say boys.

Guys is like, it's like guys, you guys, like, what are you guys talking about?

Yeah, yeah, what are you guys talking about? Yeah, like, yeah, like if Carly was in the room and you came in, you'd be like, what are you guys talking about?

Yeah, like that. It's not like, it's not like word like girls or boys. It's just a word. So I, I don't know.

I'm gonna be dead soon, so let me know.

I don't know. It's, it's, it's not happening.

You can't even— who knows what's gonna happen? I mean, I'm surprised that my, my chocolate paintings haven't taken off.

Yeah, there's really— they're really good. Jason painted all of Russia, all the towns and everything, in chocolate, mixed chocolate. The capital's in white chocolate, and then everything's dark chocolate. Yeah, and then he painted the infrastructure, like the roads, in milk chocolate. So it's really nicely outlined.

It's beautiful. It's been a little slippery, but we're working on that.

And it's messy too, definitely.

Surely it's not— there's brown everywhere.

It's—

yeah, and white. Um, and we should probably cut that part out because it made no sense.

How do you feel about VidCon? Oh, I saw, um, Tana made a Tana Mongeau— Mongo— Mongoose— Mojo. Made a video, like an hour-long video about ranting about VidCon. I don't know why— I don't know what she said in it because I didn't watch it, but it was—

I guess she went— I watched some of it. She went down there and she wanted to have— meet her fans and stuff, and she, she wanted security and a pass and stuff, and the woman wasn't very nice about it.

How do you, how do you feel about VidCon?

I think that, you know, there's— they can only provide security for so many people. Yeah, there's a lot of creators.

VidCon is a video video convention.

Seems like they make a lot of money off people like Tana. They make a lot of money, so they probably should have been nicer to her.

Yeah, they don't really pay any of the influencers.

But at the same time, I don't really give a fuck about YouTubers, and you know what I mean? Like, I don't— it's like, it's, it's kind of hard when someone's complaining about how VidCon didn't bring her security. That's all. It's just hard. It's hard to sympathize. Yeah, okay, because it's like, all right, they got like— they got— they got security. They didn't get security for Logan Paul either, you know what I mean? Like, they just can't get security for everybody. Yeah, I mean, and then— but on the other hand, they— they're— they're kind of running a racket there. They're having their creators come and they're not paying them. Yeah, I mean, you did a— we did a— didn't we do a thing there, or—

I don't know, who cares. Anyway, this girl is asking, how do you feel about it? I think it's whatever. This girl's asking a question.

I like Tana a lot.

She sent us an email.

Oh, great.

So this is her thing that she's saying. So I met this guy on Tinder, lol. Which is fucking normal, by the way. Don't let people tell you it's not weird. Carly, our good friend, met Bruce on Tinder. Did you know that?

I don't think there's anything wrong with Tinder.

I know, but people are still like weirded out by it. Are they? If you meet someone on Tinder, that's so fucking normal. Everyone meets on the internet. Don't be weirded out by it. So I met this guy on Tinder. I'm 18 and still in high school, and I'm headed to college in in the fall, so I know I'll meet a lot of people, but I hate everyone at my school because I go to a private Christian school, but I still crave a relationship. We met up and ate together and have been talking for the past 3 months. I asked him about sex and he wants it. I don't. I've been taught since I was young to, to wait for marriage, and even though I respect everyone's decision to do whatever they want in their lives and sex life, I also stand by who I am and what I want. Should I move on? We kind of got in an argument about it and he said he would wait and that I was being judgy towards him. I think we're gonna go get pizza on Friday. Should I just stop? I think he's gonna drop me anyway. I love how she said we're gonna get pizza on Friday. I don't know. She's 18.

What's she doing on Tinder?

What? What do you mean? I guess she—

well, I mean, she doesn't sound like she's 18.

She doesn't sound like she's 18 because she said the weird pizza thing. I've never heard anyone— I think we're gonna go get pizza on Friday. It just sounds kind of goofy.

So basically this guy wants sex and she doesn't want to yet, but she likes him.

Yeah, I mean, well, here's the thing. Girl, if, um, if you don't want sex, don't fucking do it. But, but if it's— I don't know. Yeah, yeah, that's pretty simple, I guess.

I don't know her, so I have no idea what to tell her.

Why?

If I knew her, if I knew what kind of person she was, like if it was my daughter or something, and I'd be like, what would you tell your daughter? I'd tell her not to have sex.

Go do whatever you want, honey.

And I Listen, if it's really important to you to not have sex, then yeah, hold out. You'll probably be better off for it. But I would never like tell myself to hold out to have sex when I was 18 either. Yeah, I wouldn't be able to do it.

No, I mean, if it's—

not that a lot of people were offered—

hold off on it. And yeah, hold off on it. And the dude, if the dude doesn't, if the dude doesn't respect that, then just be like, okay, well, we can't hang out. And don't— I don't know, who gives a fuck if the dude, if the dude's, if the dude's being a weirdo and he wants to do it, just don't talk to him anymore.

Yeah, he probably just wants to get in your pants anyway.

He's literally just a horny teenager, so you can't really blame him, like, you know. Yeah, just don't talk to him.

And don't think that having sex with him is gonna make him like you more.

And don't take— don't also—

it's not—

also don't think that having sex with him will ruin anything. Do you know what I mean? Like, I'd like—

yeah, yeah, exactly. Yeah, don't— yeah, like, having sex with him isn't gonna make it better.

It's not gonna make it worse either. Like, like, you, you know what I mean? Like, I don't, I don't know. I know a lot of people wait till marriage. I don't—

now we're saying two different things.

Yeah, yeah.

Again, I wouldn't ask us for advice in the future, but I mean, all the advice we have for all these is, yeah, do whatever you want. You seem like a nice person who was nice enough to write an email to us, so I like that.

Oh, she said, I fucking hate Jason.

Ah, damn it, I need to read these things all the way through.

Um, no, uh, You said, I think we're gonna go get pizza on Friday, which sounds really cute.

I want to know about the pizza, what kind you had, so please get back to us.

Yeah, please write us.

I don't care if you had sex or not.

And ask us if— I mean, tell us if you guys ended it or what.

People love pizza.

If he's being judgy towards you about not wanting to have sex, go David, then just ditch him.

Yeah, girl.

Yeah.

On the next Wendy, guest hosted by David Dobrik.

Wig snatched. Um, speaking of snatching wigs, Spring is right around the corner, and MVMT is dropping all new sunglasses to get you ready for the weather.

This is a dope company, David.

Yeah, I mean, uh, MVMT, that's what they're called.

They're great. I thought they just made watches.

No, they make sunglasses, my dude. What? I got all cheap pairs that look terrible, but every time I buy a $200 pair, I feel like I got ripped off. Our friends at MVMT, yeah, the watch guys, they felt the same way, so they thought screw it, and they made quality trendy sunglasses at a fair price. They start at just $70. Seriously, they're legit our go-to shades. I don't wear—

headed to Coachella.

Yeah, with MVMT sunglasses.

That's right, it's the best way to be wearing them.

They're high-quality, premium— what is this word, Jason? Acetate frames. No cheap plastic here. You got to see— what's this?

These.

You got to see these. They have a lot of styles to choose from: classic, trendy, round, aviator, mirrored, polarized. For him and for her, you're sure to find the perfect pair.

Get 15% off today with free shipping and free returns, guys. That means you can order it and then what does that mean, David?

Well, you get—

you could order it and send it back.

Well, you never even said you got to go to movement.com/views. That's MVMT.com/views.

You couldn't pronounce acetate.

You know Movement for how they revolutionized the watch industry. Now's the time to check out their sunglasses.

Yeah, these are great sunglasses.

Join the movement.

We have movement.com— we have two pair here I haven't given and the other one's to David yet, because I don't know which one I want.

It's amazing. But, um, okay, how's— enough about me, my life falling apart. Give me a quick update about you as we're 36 minutes into the podcast. There's 4 minutes left of the podcast. I'm like, okay, Jason.

Well, actually, David, that's everything.

That's all the time we have.

Um, um, I said something like, uh, I'm doing well today, and, uh, I was like— someone's like, how are things going? I'm like, I'm doing pretty good, you know, like I got some money coming in, which is good. And then Someone said, well, you sold your soul.

Why? What does that mean?

I was like, you know what, you did kind of sell your soul. How's that?

I was actually just thinking about— in a good way, in a good way.

You can't say that. Sold your soul is not a good thing.

You and Trisha are such a good pair when it comes to work because you both are comfortable with putting it all out on the line. You know what I mean, right? You will fucking— you'll do anything for the video.

I will.

Which is a catch-22. It's, it's pathetic but great. It's, it's why I like you. It's because you'll literally do anything for a good bit if it makes sense and it's funny. But, and I think that's what, that's what, that's why you're prospering so much is because you're willing to do, you know, everything and everything for it to make a good video.

I, I tell you, I, I was so upset with this person because I was like I was like, you know what, you know how fucking hard it is to make money? I was broke for decades. Decades. Fuck. My teens, my 20s.

I'm joining you, man.

And my 30s. And when I was a baby, broke.

Yeah.

So it's just so hard to make money that like, now that I can— I have an income and I'm not going to be on the street, I'm just—

now that you've had a taste for it, you don't want to go back. I don't want to go back.

And I don't fucking care if I sold my soul. I was so angry. I was like, fuck you.

Who is this? No, sit down. I'm not gonna tell you, but Wyatt Nash, it's your son.

But yeah, fuck you, Wyatt. You know what, I don't, I don't care. It's fine. It did hurt though. I was like, oh dude, you got to stop thinking about that.

You can't let the haters bring you down.

Let me go light you on fire so I can get my groove back on.

Tip you to that wall real quick, bro.

Um, so that's what's going on with me, and then I'll hopefully see Trisha tonight. Keep filming. We're going to Bora Bora.

When?

In May.

Oh, in May. Yeah.

Are you— are you gonna go away this week?

I'm thinking about it. I'm thinking about going.

Okay, we just taped the podcast.

I know you have the whole night free.

Normally on Wednesday nights you'd have to be sitting here tomorrow yelling at me.

Tomorrow we have a meeting where big things coming.

Yeah, big things coming meeting.

We've had, uh, we've had a couple meetings where we thought big things were coming and they just fucking fall through.

We've only had one meeting.

Yeah, but that's a lot for me. I don't take meetings, and I took a meeting and I had this great idea. One day we'll tell you all about our failure. There's a lot that goes behind the scenes of these vlogs that people have no fucking clue about, do you know what I mean?

You're talking about trying to— that failure or the vlogs?

I'm talking about the failure and the vlog.

Yeah, I wish you'd let me film the failure because when we were, when we were trying to do this one thing, I would bring my camera on. Dave would be like, no, absolutely not.

I didn't want him to film it because in case it failed.

I fucking hate when you do that. Oh my God, I hate when you won't let me film stuff because I know that it's good and you like question my whole—

all my—

you know, you question like whether, whether I know what's good or not. I fucking know it's good.

No, I believe you that it's good, but it's just, it's just in the moment it— I couldn't do it.

Why?

Because we were doing— we were pitching something that was really intense and I really wanted it and it turned out we didn't get it, bro. And I've already said too much. I'm out of here.

Your fans would have to have seen you go through that. You were flipping out.

Um, okay, that's it for today's podcast, guys. I'm gonna start a GoFundMe for my, uh, your taxes. For my taxes.

Uh, sorry, someone please start a GoFundMe for today's—

sorry if today's podcast was a little mellow and I was, um, super dramatic.

You did great.

I'm gonna go, uh, tan for the next 8 hours, so I'll see you guys later. This has been Views. My name is Jeff.

Buy some Buy some of David's merch so he can pay more taxes.

That's the thing. It's like you fucking make more money and they fuck you. They don't reward you.

No, they don't.

Okay, bye guys. Bye.