Trespassing At David’s House

What's up, guys? Welcome back to Views. Today's podcast we're doing from outside or in my backyard.

I wish you guys could see this. This is when I really think we should film the podcast because I'm in the shade because I'm super old and white. David has chosen to be in the sun on a hammock. He has black mesh shorts on, black socks, and a black t-shirt. He has sunglasses on, and underneath the sunglasses are cotton swabs over his eyes.

Well, I have two pairs of sunglasses on, if you ever notice.

Oh, yeah.

I have two pairs of sunglasses. I put some cotton under the sunglasses so my eyes do not get damaged during this podcast. I know we're going to be out here for a while, so I'm just prepared for anything.

Look out, David, there's a bee.

I don't even care, man. Nature's— I want nature to be one with me.

Oh, look at that. All the bees just landed right next to you. Just sitting, listening to you. You've tamed them. Incredible.

They're fans of the podcast. What can I say?

Oh, right on.

I wrote those for music. Jay, did you see that someone— that there was a random stranger in my backyard yesterday?

Yeah, I saw it on the story.

Yeah, yesterday Charlie told me about it. Yeah, it was really weird.

We—

I was just sitting in my living room with Ilya, like, going through some emails, and Ilya sees a guy in the backyard and he's like looking over our view, and Ilya just waves to him and gets back to his emails. And I don't think anything of it, right? And I just start going back to the emails too. And then I give it some thought and I was like, well, even if there's like a construction worker out of my backyard, they're usually never shirtless. So I'm like, do you know who that guy was? And he goes, nope. And I go, oh, fuck. And then, and then I'm like, Natalie, do you know that is? And she's like, no. So I'm like, okay, wait, none of us know who this guy is. So he's not here to fix anything on my house. So I go outside, I go, hello. And he goes, oh, hey. I was just hanging over the edge there. I was feeling like Leonardo DiCaprio, like the king of the world. And I was like, what? I was like, okay, this guy's definitely on drugs and he's in my backyard. And I was like, okay, you're in my backyard though. And he was like, oh, okay, sorry. I'm like, that's okay. And then he goes, do you have any water though? And I'm like, I can't, I can't, you gotta go please. And then he leaves. And then he's like, can I go out this way though? 'Cause I left my jacket there. And he like points to the back alley of my house. Like he came through like the scariest way. Like he didn't even walk through the front. He like went through the alleyway of my house, which is terrifying.

He'd been hanging out for a while.

Yeah. And he was just— and yeah, I mean, like dropped his flannel off there.

So why did the crazies find your house?

Because the fucking— this is the second time a person on drugs has wandered into my house. It's because my house is on a dead end. So when, like, people that are on drugs will wander a lot and they'll have nowhere to go after they get to my house. My house is kind of like— it's, it's kind of like I'm sitting on like it's It's kind of like the druggies are our compasses and I'm sitting on magnetic ore. Like, they all just end up— they all end up at my house. I don't know. It's kind of scary, but at least they've been pretty nice and they've decided to leave. What else is up, Jay?

Oh, not much. Just chilling with the kids.

And how are those little nasty kids of yours?

The other day, the other night, I was like— I get real tired. I'm going to bed. And me and Charlie, our rooms are downstairs.

and.

And Wyatt's room's upstairs. And then I go to bed and I just hear. At midnight I hear, dun dun dun dun dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun dun dun. And I'm like, wyatt. Wyatt. He doesn't hear me. I'm like, wyatt, what are you. What are you doing?

What the.

What the fuck are you doing? What are you doing? I run upstairs, I go, what are you doing? And he's like, oh, I. I was recording a beat that I could put in a song And I would— I loved the way that the echoes were here in this spot. And I was like, bro, I was like, no, not at fucking 12 o'clock.

What did he say when you tell him stuff like that? Is he apologetic or is he like—

Yeah, he's apologetic.

He's like, oh, I didn't realize that it would wake you up. I'm so sorry.

So the way your house is set up is you have one room right by your front door and then the rest, the rest are downstairs.

For all the burglars, let them know exactly the layout.

Well, no, I'm just— I'm curious about this because every time, like when my parents would move us to a new house, it only happened once. But I like, I realized I was the one closest to the front door. And I've always thought about that. I'm like, are you guys pawning me off to a murderer that comes? Do you know what I mean? And is that— is that what your son is? Is he there? Is he there so you hear the screams and you have enough time to get you and your daughter out? Is that how it works? I guess I never thought about it because, listen, as fucked up as it is, it does make sense, right? Because Because first of all, you can't be by the front door, 'cause then you'll die first and then your kids will die, 'cause there'll be no one to protect them. You can't put your daughter there, 'cause, you know, she's a girl, you have to take care of her first.

Right.

It's kinda like common courtesy. So it makes sense to put your son there, so you have enough reaction time to save your daughter. Now did this thought process go through your head, or did he just like that room and that's why he's there?

Well, I needed to, I wanted Charlie to be close to me, 'cause I didn't want her to be scared, so he just kinda got the shit stick. I mean, the oldest kid, They always get the shit stick, Dave.

Right.

Right?

But you do realize that if there is a burglar that comes into the house, he's gonna check that room first.

I know, I know, but he's as big as you now. He's as tall as you. Should we hold for the plane because we're outside?

What?

Should we hold for the plane?

Oh yeah, there's a plane flying above.

Guys, he's in the same position. He looks like he like smoked weed or something and he didn't.

Maybe I did.

He is so chillaxed right now.

Yeah, man.

I'm gonna take a picture.

Hey, Corinne.

I sent you one.

I got to take a picture of this.

It's really funny.

I'm just relaxing. I've been doing a lot of, like, so I used to get paid to go to schools and talk. Yeah. But now I get paid to go on Zoom calls with different schools.

Yeah.

So you'll have like the students in the Zoom call and I'll just be talking and they'll be asking me questions through the Zoom call.

I was on a Zoom call last night. This big Hollywood agent. I was at Marnie's house. He puts on like a little show for like 500 people, and then he has all his clients sing. And, uh, it was pretty interesting.

What do you mean he has clients sing?

Like, he'll have famous musicians come on from their living room and sing, and you get the password to the Zoom, and then you can see like famous people there, like in their living room, watching the same thing you're watching. Like, it's pretty cool.

Really? And she was on the Zoom?

Yeah, and it was for charity too, so people like donate. So there was this like one girl that they wanted to sing, this one artist, and she's like, uh, someone offered to pledge $10,000 and that was like how they got her. And, uh, just, it was just, it was just cool.

It was like, who are these artists? Can you say?

I mean, I don't want to say the artists because then like, you know, there were some really good ones though.

John Legend?

It was Gaga, Beyoncé.

No way.

No, no, it wasn't. It wasn't at all. But, uh, I mean, I don't know if I can talk about it, but anyways, I guess I can talk about it, right? Yeah, like, it was really cool. Like, there was a guy on there and he wrote— do you know the song Closing Time?

Love it, right?

Who doesn't? It's such a great song.

Love it. Talk to me about it. Tell me everything.

So, Closing— anyways, he— it was an interesting story. Like, he wrote Closing Time and he was in a band called Semisonic. And obviously the band had its run or whatever, but then the guy went on to write like the craziest songs. He wrote Someone Like You with Adele. Oh, so shit like that. So he like told that story. It was pretty cool and how they wrote it. Don't you love stories like that when people tell you like where the ideas for the songs came from? Or does that bore you?

No. You know what I just found out that's interesting about songs? Like when you see like a, like a video, like someone creates like a YouTube video Like they'll be so embarrassed of the video they made 3 years ago. But with songs, like, no one will be embarrassed about it, you know? Like, songs get better with age almost. Like, the older a song is, like, every, every time you hear it, like once every 6 months, you go, oh yeah, fuck yeah, I remember this. Like, it's so interesting that songs like don't go out of style. Such a weird thing to me, but they, they totally do.

I mean, there's artists that are just totally embarrassed of their early work, like Radiohead. They won't even play, you know, they went like 15 years not playing Creep.

Oh, why?

They were just, they hated it. He was, Thom Yorke was like, I don't like that. I don't like that side of us. Like the bands, like all those great songs that they made early on before they went all avant-garde. Do you need more cotton under your eyes?

No, I'm good.

I have enough. You have enough there? I don't want you to burn your eyes out. But I think that was, it was kind of an interesting night in that You know, like we didn't go anywhere. We got to stay. I don't know, like if I was at that party, I probably would have been uncomfortable and stuff. But because it was like a Zoom thing, I was like, I kind of watched, had a little something to eat. I don't know why.

Something about like Zoom and like there's all these like companies and like there's all these like Instagrammers that are like putting on performances. Like all these celebrities are putting performances on Zoom. It just doesn't feel the same to me.

Yeah, no, I mean, the sound is not the same.

The sound's not the same. It's just like, it's just like, I don't know, it's fun to see celebrities like, like going on digital media and stuff, but like, it's not— I feel like it's not making a lot of them look too good because it's hard to be entertaining. Like, it's so hard. It's so difficult to be entertaining on the internet.

Yeah.

Like, that's why you have like the internet or that's why you have like TikTok. Like, I'd rather be on TikTok all day than go through celebrities' livestreams, you know what I mean?

Right.

Yeah, well, they don't do that. They usually have someone do everything for them so that they're in control of it. And they probably— it's going to take them a while to figure it out. But some people are figuring it out. Jason Derulo, he's got a good TikTok.

Yeah, Jason Derulo. Yeah, I saw a lot of people on Twitter saying, thank God TikTok wasn't around before Jason Derulo started making music because he never would have gotten into music. Jason Derulo makes so many TikToks. It literally makes you think, it's like, oh my God, I hope this guy will continue making songs because he's pretty good. But please stop making TikToks. Don't make them forever. It's really funny.

Oh, hey, what do you think of Elon Musk's new baby name?

Oh, yeah.

What do you think?

XAE A-12?

Yeah.

Yeah.

I mean, I saw him on Rogan. He said they're going to call him or her X.

Did you see— I watched a TikTok where Grimes was asked what the gender of the baby is. And she goes, she goes, we want our— we want our kid to choose for themselves. We don't want to put that burden on him, you know what I mean? That's what she said. And then, and then the rest of the TikTok was showing a picture of someone asking Elon on Twitter.

Yeah.

And it was like, what's the gender of your— what's the gender of your kid? And Elon responds, boy. Yeah.

But yeah, I mean, fight that night.

I was watching. Yeah, I was watching Joe Rogan's interview and Elon seemed like— I don't know, Elon seemed like it was more of Grimes's idea.

Yeah.

Yeah, he put it all on her. I'm down for that.

Like, he added the, the A-12 part, which is, I guess, is his favorite, his favorite airplane or something. I don't really know. Regardless, I think it's a cool name because you shorten it to X. So X Musk is pretty fucking sick, right? Like, that's what the name is at the end of the day is X Musk.

Pretty sick name.

X Musk.

Yeah, I like it. I was arguing with someone about it. They're like, why would you do that? And I was just like, why do you care? I was like, that's the name they chose.

Like, right, right, why would you care?

Like, you want him to—

oh, someone was like upset about it.

Someone was upset about— yeah, that's fucking one of our friends. And I was like, and I was like, Samantha— I was like, you wanted to be Samantha Musk? What do you want, John? When people get upset about things that have nothing to do with them, I had a friend, I was friends with the Zappas for a long time, and their kids, they had interesting names.

The Zappas?

Yeah, Frank Zappa, who was like a famous musician, really a crazy great musician. He had had 4 kids: Dweezil, Ahmet, Moon, and Diva. And then when those names— when they came out when I was a kid, those were crazy. Like, wow, they named their kid Moon? That's insane.

Wait, Moon or Moon?

Moon.

Oh, that's fucking sick.

But Moon's pretty cool now if you think about it. It's pretty more common. The other one, Ahmet.

Ahmet. Yeah, it's a comet.

Yeah, like comet. And Dweezil— I don't know what they mean.

Dweezil's a little weird.

Yeah, but he grew up— I mean, Dweezil's like—

Dweezil sounds—

he's probably in his 40s now and he's like a famous musician and it's like, oh cool, Dweezil Zappa.

Oh, I guess. Yeah, I guess like it totally works. It does sound cool.

You know, you can just name anything anything and it'll work, you know what I mean? Like if you started calling Ilya Mustard, be like, yo, what's up, Mustard? It's just sounds. It's just rhythms, you know, man.

I think it's interesting how like, how like 40, 50, not 40, like how like you'll go into a meeting and everyone will introduce themselves and they'll be like 30, 40 years old, you know, like businessmen, and they'll be like, "Hi, my name is Frank." And like that name he got when he was a baby. Do you know what I mean? Like, it's so weird. Like, I want to be like, "Oh yeah, who gave you that name when you were a little baby?" Like, it's so funny that adults are introducing themselves by their names. Like, I know it makes sense, but like, it's so funny that we have like this word that like sticks with us our entire life. And that's how we identify ourselves. Like, that's so funny.

Hey, what the hell happened?

Yes.

Hold on. Also, on, on names, someone, um, I was talking to somebody and I was talking to Jonah, and Jonah's like, because, you know, Jonah's our friend and we call him Jonah because he reminds us of Jonah Hill, and Jonah just fits him better than his real name, Nick. And he was like, and someone was like, but doesn't he, doesn't he hate it? Like, his parents named him Nick. And I was like, well, yeah, but like Doesn't it make more sense to name somebody a couple years after you know them rather than right when they're just like a blob? Like, you know, like nothing—

nothing—

it makes a lot more sense to give me a name after you've met me than when I come out of a vagina and you're like, that, that's probably gonna look like a David. Like, that's weird to me.

Damn, that's good, right? Yeah, you're right.

Like, it makes more sense to name somebody later than earlier.

I wish I had a nickname. I wish I had a new name.

It's Fat Ass. I gave that one to you right when I got to know you. That's fat ass.

I didn't know that was my nickname. Oh, hey Dave, there's another homeless guy in your backyard with a shirt on.

Oh yeah, this is my friend Ilya.

What's up, Ilya? What's up, brother? Dave, listen, I want to let you know the couch I bought you is really great.

Thanks for letting me know.

I didn't know how else to bring it up. I'm just looking at it right now.

Here are a bunch of things to make you think, Jay. Ready?

Yeah, I'm ready.

First of all, did anyone else think that as a kid, getting sprayed by a skunk was going to be a much more prevalent issue in life? Isn't that—

prevalent is what I meant to say. Isn't that crazy?

Um, I guess so.

I guess I—

When you were a kid, El, did you think about being sprayed by a skunk and you thought, oh shit, this is gonna be something I have to make sure doesn't happen to me?

Doesn't everybody think that? At all ages?

I think by the time—

you think that now?

I don't want to fucking get sprayed by skunk now.

Yeah, but it's not like an actual— oh, fuck that one.

No, I agree with you. As a kid, I was very scared of being sprayed by skunks.

Here's one that's quite obvious but also really cool: space goes in every direction forever. Like, that's bonkers to think about.

Like, in Vernon Hills, we've talked about this.

You talked about this in Vernon Hills? This is what you guys talk about?

Isn't that crazy to think about, Jay? Like, You could go that way and I could go the other way and we just keep going forever. Hey, this is crazy. Like, the oldest person on Earth right now is like 113 years old, right?

When that person was born, there was a completely different set of humans on the planet.

Yeah, that's crazy.

Every CEO, every actor, every actress, every astronaut, everybody was different.

All our friends are dead.

That's crazy.

Yeah.

What do you think? What do you think about that? With living past 100, what do you think? You think you'd like it?

Living past 100?

Yeah.

Right now I'd say fuck no. But I know when you get older, you like discover new things about life. Here's the thing is like, this is what scares me. Like, you know, as a kid, like, like as like, well, I'm not a kid. As a 23-year-old, like, I think that I have everything under control.

Yeah, right.

Like, and I think I know what's important in life and I think I know what I value. Um, but things change, right? Like, you— like, like, right now I don't value, like, alone time or, like, nature or shit like that, right?

Like, I don't really care about going for walks.

Yeah.

But I know that there's gonna be a day where I will. But will I— will I like nature and stuff because I'm settling for it and I have nothing else in life and I'm walking around the forest because that's all I have left and I have convinced myself that this is— that I've discovered this because I'm so wise now. That's what I'm scared of. I'm scared of convincing myself that I have discovered new things just because I'm out of ideas.

Like, here's the thing, this is what I'm scared of. I'm scared of me running out of ideas, like material for like videos and podcasts, and then, and then I go, who needs all that? Who needs, who needs making videos? Who needs making money when you have love?

Like, that's what I'm scared. I'm scared of convincing myself that I've discovered this new pathway in life just because I failed my original one.

That's one of my biggest fears.

Guys, he has two pairs of sunglasses on. I just wanted to paint the picture.

That should make sense.

He just did that monologue with two pairs of sunglasses on, one on top of each other.

Explain. Tell me that.

100%. Like, I totally know where you're going, and let me answer it and tell you on the other side of it that I'm already here, that I am opening myself up to new things.

And is that because you've just given up on the rest? Be honest. Be honest.

Yeah, I mean, in fact, I have a perfect example.

Yeah, go, go, go.

Okay, I'm gonna get a dog.

Right.

Okay, and my kids are like, don't get a dog, you shouldn't get a dog. And David, my friend who I work with the most, is like, don't get a dog. But I've already made a decision that I'm gonna get the dog and start a new chapter in my life because I'm not gonna get a girlfriend. I'm not gonna have any more kids. Right. So the dog is gonna fill that void.

So in a way, David, you're 100% correct.

I'm filling a void, I'm wasting time, and I'm gonna put all my energy that I would put into a girlfriend into this pup. And I think that'll like fill some love in my life, right?

Okay.

What's wrong with that though?

Nothing.

No, nothing wrong with it.

Can I ask you something else?

What?

Okay, recently—

but here's the thing, this is— can I say this?

What?

The reason I thought of this initially is because my parents used to—

my parents used to say They used to go, why would we need money when we have each other?

Right.

And I always used to think to myself, that sounds like something somebody would say that tried getting a lot of money and then failed and went, at least we still have each other.

And now has that—

and now has made that their new motto in life.

Uh-huh.

That's—

I thought that too.

I've thought that, like, I don't know.

My parents are— they're great and they definitely mean what they say, but I'm just like interested in where that's coming from. And like I'm scared that I'm going to start making excuses for myself.

Like they all— it seems like a cop-out. Like, you know what I mean? I'm scared that I'm— I'm scared that I'm gonna have— like, I've already been doing it. I have done it during quarantine. I can't come up with the vlog because I'm just by myself in my house, and my cop-out is, well, I should be taking this time to rest. It's finally time to have a vacation. When that is not fucking true.

If I had ideas—

if I had ideas right now, I would not be fucking sitting here on this fucking chair with two pairs of sunglasses. I'd be going out and shooting. But the honest truth is I do not have an idea currently to go shoot a vlog. And what I have done, what I have done is I've created this fucking bullshit that I need to relax and I need to be living a stress-free life. It is not true. It's not true. You know why I'm saying it? Because I'm weak. Because I'm weak and I can't keep up with myself. That's why I'm saying it. Not for any other reason. Does that make sense?

Taylor, can you grab one more pair of sunglasses, please? To put on his face.

Okay, but does that make sense?

Yeah, that was great. I mean, I'm glad you're— I'm glad you brought that up because I wanted to bring it up with you. Like, what the fuck are we doing? I'm glad you brought it up. Like, I'm ready to get back to work. I'm actually— I lost 8 pounds. I'm feeling pretty good. I showed my balls the other night to a family by accident.

Wait, what?

Oh man.

Well, how did you just leave this out? Like, 20 minutes ago I was like, you have any podcast topics? And you went, no man, I'm out. Showing your balls to a family, I feel like 'Cause something we should have opened with.

Well, I'm a 36 waist, as you know.

Right.

And I did lose a couple pounds last week, and I went into my closet, and you know, you look at like old shorts in your closet, like, what do I have from last summer or 5 summers ago? And I see these pairs of 35s, and I'm like, yo, these 35s are fucking tight. They're Banana Republic, they're really thin, and I'm like, I can fucking squeeze into these, I think, now that I lost 2 pounds.

So I get on the bed and I'm like, you know, like a teenage girl and she's like, put jeans on, right? That's me. I'm on the bed doing that thing, you know? And I stuff my fat ass into these 35s and I'm like, I'm good, I won't eat dinner. And I go, they'll be a little loose if I like don't eat a lot at dinner, whatever. And then of course Marnie's like, um, we're gonna go see Wyatt's friend. It's a social distance party. And Wyatt hasn't seen his friend.

It's a what?

A social distance party.

What an oxymoron.

What does that mean?

It means like we're gonna go and stand on their lawn and chat with masks on so Wyatt can see his friend.

You know what I mean?

You know people do this, right?

Yeah, but does Wyatt— is also— is Wyatt also social distancing with his friend?

He's gonna see his friend for the first time. We're all gonna stay 6 feet apart and like, you know, just see each other so the kids can see each other.

Okay. So strange.

So anyways, I go in and they're like, come in the back. And you know, it's very awkward, by the way.

Like, you get there, they're like, whatever you guys want to do, whatever you're comfortable with, you know. So we go in the back and there's like a set of chairs set up.

Can I be honest?

Yeah.

If, if, if you didn't tell me the ending to this story, I would have tuned out by now. But just because I know there's a family is about to see a pair of testicles, I am tuned in. Okay, keep going.

I understand how I have to tell stories now.

Okay. Yeah, you gotta tell me the end first.

I gotta tell you the end first. First, anyways, I'm all done. I sat— I've been— I sit in the circle and the shorts are too tight and my balls are hanging out for like 20 minutes.

Oh my God.

Yeah.

Do you have underwear?

Oh my God, I had underwear on. Yeah.

Wait, and how did— but I'm just so sad your balls were hanging out.

I looked down and I saw my— I saw my hanging brain.

Oh my God.

Yeah, so I— they thought we were 6 feet apart.

You didn't feel that they were getting a little more air than normal?

No, man, when you get old, you don't fucking have any feeling in your balls. They're just like— you forget they're even there.

Did you think that, like— did you think that, like— did you ask your wife, like, were you— hey, were my balls out during all that?

No, do you think I'm gonna tell my ex-wife, I'm gonna ask her? Do you know how far down on the fucking list I am with her? She hates me. So for me to walk over at a party with other people and go, hey, my balls are out, like, that's just one more thing for her to— Which, by the way, they didn't say anything. But like, even if they did, they wouldn't— no one's going to be like, yo, Jason, you're like, your balls are out. You know what I mean?

Do that. That's funny. That reminds me of a time I was at like, I was at a WME party. WME is a big agency.

Close. Then like, and like, there's these like, there's these like celebrities talking, right? I come into the group like one of them knows me. So he introduces the other like, oh, big fucking actors. Like big actors.

Sure.

And And I'm done, I talk to them, I crack a couple jokes, whatever. I was like, this conversation is great. So I killed it in front of these people, I'm so excited.

And I'm turning away and one of the celebs calls me and he goes, hey, come here.

And I go, holy fuck, I'm in!

Like he's gonna invite me to this crazy after party.

Shit's about to go down.

And he goes, your zipper's down.

And I go, "Oh, thank you, man. Good looking out." And I was so embarrassed.

Damn.

Yeah.

The entire time I'm over there fucking thinking I'm killing it, my zipper was down.

And he's like, "Your zipper's down." I'm like, "Fuck." And then, you know, like when someone tells you that your zipper's down, like it's like a weird confusing moment, 'cause you don't wanna put the zipper up right away.

Yeah.

And you kinda wanna be like, "Oh yeah, I know." Part of your brain wants to go, "Yeah, I put that zipper down.

Why isn't your zipper down?" So like, I go, "Oh, okay, cool." Like I said it like as if I fucking walked in that party with that zipper down. And then when I turned around, I like waited 6 seconds so if anybody else was watching, they knew for a fact that it wasn't that this guy told me that my zipper was down. And then I pulled it up.

Wait, let's go back to the other topic about you not working. Right, like, I think that— oh, tell me about this. I like that thing you're talking about because all I've been thinking about has been getting out in nature. Like, that's all I've been thinking about is getting out in nature, like going, literally moving to like a lake house for a month, right? And just sitting there and like hiking. And don't you think it's because you have nothing to do?

Like, that's the only reason that you—

I think, I think it's put me in a mode of like Oh, there's other things out there besides making videos to life. There's other things to life, right?

That's it. That's the— that's what I'm scared of having. I'm scared of having those thoughts.

Really?

Yeah.

I mean, it's like, to some part of it, I get it, but it just sounds like you're compromising. It's not.

What about balance though?

You don't—

what do you think about balance?

I mean, Jay, anything you say will be justified to you, but from my point of view will be like, oh, you're compromising.

Do you know what I mean?

You think?

Yeah.

Like what you're like. Like, I agree.

And I feel like I'm going to say things like you're saying now because I've already began to start saying some of them. But it's like, I don't know, it's just like, it just feels like a cop-out to me.

Biggest thing with Dave is that like when he gets out of a rhythm, like that's fucking game over.

Yeah, I can't get out of a rhythm, man. It's fucking deadly to me.

But you know what? It's actually, it's for what we do. When you get out of the rhythm, it's really hard to get back on the horse.

Yeah. Oh yeah, 100%. And like, and like, people will text me and they'll be like, dude, I hope you're enjoying your vacation. And I go, this doesn't feel like it at all. This does not feel like a vacation. Like, I'm so stressed. Like, what's cool about a vacation is like, you know what you're getting back into when you're done with the vacation.

Yeah.

When you have a summer vacation, you know you're going back to school, right? Or when you have a work vacation, you know where you're going back to. You're going back to the office. You're going back to produce that thing, that project. Or you're going back to work on that construction site, but I have no fucking idea what I'm coming back to. So there's no vacation, it's only stress. I'm only like, what the fuck am I doing after all this is over?

Because I feel like I haven't filmed in so long, I don't want to lose this groove.

But what if— lose the groove? This groove? Have you sitting on a hammock?

No, lose the groove of me filming, right?

Well, you've lost the groove, right? I mean, I think once you start—

who really needs filming anyway, man?

I mean, isn't it just all about like hanging out in the backyard with your friends and drinking Coronas, guys?

3 times.

Bad choice of beer there, Dave.

3 times a week he used to post.

I know, I used to love when he posted 3 times a week.

I had so many—

I had so many opportunities to like try to get in the vlog and be funny.

Jason, people used to come up to me and they go, how the fuck do you do it? And I used to go, what are you talking about?

I know.

I go, what do you mean how do I do it? I just fucking do it. It made no sense. Everywhere I went, everywhere I went, they were, how the fuck? Are you posting this stuff 3 times a week? And I went, I just hit upload. I thought, yeah, I was editing till 6 in the morning, like, right. And that was my thing. But like, it did not— it didn't fucking— it made perfect sense to me. It was like drinking water.

And I remember I was calling Casey Neistat and I was like, I think I want to start doing 2 a week. And he goes, he goes, when you start posting 2 a week and when you get off that fucking insane rhythm you're on, because he used to do every day. When you go, you're gonna feel a total different change, and it's gonna be good, but it's also gonna kind of suck. And right when I started posting 2 times a week—

I didn't feel this before, but it made me feel human in like the shittiest way possible. Like, it made me feel like everybody else.

And like, before, I felt like I was running on a clock that didn't exist.

Like, I felt like I was operating on like a different like wavelength than everybody else.

And then when I started doing 2 a week, I fucking hated it. I was like, there's nothing impressive about this. This is lame. And then that led to one a week, and then that one week led to, well, Corona time.

And then I was like, okay, I'm not posting any. That's why I hated it.

I hated it. There's no reason for me to stop. And like, people would argue and be like, it's good for your mental health, whatever. It's not. Honestly, it's not.

No, it is.

You would have— you would have broken.

Only reason I would have broken is if I would have ran out of ideas.

Yeah, but I don't know.

So, but the thing is, is once you get back going, what will be nice is you'll be able to look at this time off and you'll be like— it'll make you feel good. It will make you 100%— it'll make you feel good. You'll be in the shit, you'll be trying to film, you'll be stressed, and then in the car you'll be like, oh, that was cool. Remember when I played video games with Mike and Alex for like 3 nights straight? That was so much fun.

Yeah, I don't know.

I think so. It's the same thing like when I go home for Christmas to see my family. I don't want to go. I bitch about it, and then I go, and then in January I'm like, oh, thank God I went and saw them. None of you are listening to me. Neither of you are you? David's asleep.

I am. Christmas time.

Christmas time family, thank you.

Yeah, they count I'm wearing two pairs of sunglasses so you don't know when I'm dozing off. I had a campaign with Chipotle I just did.

Yeah.

It did like my best numbers I've ever done on any campaign.

Yeah, a lot of views.

It got a lot of, a lot of burritos sold.

You know how many views the campaign got?

How many?

Just take a guess.

Uh, what was it on? TikTok?

It was on TikTok.

Oh, well, TikTok's like insane. Let's see. Uh, 15 mil.

15 million. The whole campaign.

Yeah.

So the hashtag— I told people to hashtag Chipotle sponsored, and all the people that use the hashtag Wow. You know how many people?

15 mil.

Good guess. Guess a little higher.

18.

Guess a little higher.

20.

You want me to tell you or you just want to keep guessing? I'll give you 5 more guesses.

25 million.

One more.

30 million.

One more.

No way.

3 more. 3 more guesses.

You're telling me more than 35 million people? 40 million? More. 50 million? More. 75 million. Are you fucking with me? No.

How many people use the hashtag?

100 million.

More.

No, I don't believe you.

More.

There's no way. Go! 150 million.

More.

You're fucking with me.

Go!

100—

195 million.

More. Higher.

250 million.

Double it.

A billion people. Yeah, a billion people.

1.1 billion.

There's no way 1.1 billion people made TikToks.

No, 1.1—

with the hashtag #FeedDavid or whatever.

No, the TikTok— the hashtag has 1.1 billion views on it.

The hashtag has 1.1 billion views on it.

Yeah.

Wow.

On that one TikTok?

No, on the TikTok— on the trend.

Gotcha, gotcha. So if I made a TikTok, hey David, get me free Chipotle, correct? And I got 100,000 views, it'd add 1.1 billion and 100,000. Damn, pretty crazy. That's pretty great, man. Congratulations.

A billion, over a billion.

That's fucking insane.

That's fucking insane.

The Super Bowl gets 100 million views.

Did you think— did you— now you think you're underpaid?

No, I just think that like, I really hope— I want this to be like a huge press thing, right? I think it should be everywhere. I think like the fact— and I'm not special, like, oh, there's there's 15, 20, 30 other TikTok creators that can get that done as well.

Like, just the power of social media is fucking insane. And there's not as— there's not as many companies sleeping on it as there were before.

But I think it's like any company that chooses not to market with digital media is fucking ridiculous. Like, it's crazy that companies are still spending so many ad dollars on television.

Uh-huh.

Like, why the fuck would you put commercials on, you know, yeah, on true TV when you can, when you could.

And I don't see that many ads on TikTok.

No, it's really well done. It's such a well-done ad. It's such a well-done app. It's so incredible. I fucking love that.

Wouldn't there be more ads?

Ilya told me there's 1.5 billion people that have downloaded the app on TikTok.

That's what I saw.

Is TikTok this?

I don't think that's real.

How does that— how does that work? Like, if I'm in India and I download TikTok, that's a completely different app. No, like Netflix India?

No, same app. Your page will probably just look different.

Oh, gotcha.

I mean, yeah, I guess it's kind of like Netflix.

Why does TikTok send me people that I don't like, that I've never liked their videos, and they're not like big people, but I just keep getting their videos?

Because it's testing it out.

It's like—

I've been seeing this girl whose face I just want to like hit with a baseball bat.

Well, there, that's your reasoning, the fact that you're remembering this girl? Is the reason you're seeing her so much, because either you're going through her comments—

No, and I never go through her comments.

You see her and then you just keep swiping?

Yeah.

You don't watch the full video?

No, I go right by this motherfucker. I don't know, I can't stand her.

Well, you just click do not interested and not interested, and then you'll never see her again.

Oh, do not interested.

No, do not interested. Is it the right word to say? Is it the right phrase? Just click do not interested.

Do not interested.

Got it.

The TikTok app has been downloaded over 1.5 billion times on the App Store and Google Play.

See, now I believe it.

That sounds crazy, but more than YouTube, more than Instagram, more than Facebook, more than Snapchat.

Wow.

It's the best app.

Fucking insane.

It's the best app there has ever been. And I fucking shit you not, there is nothing better.

Like, if I had TikTok as a kid, like, I would have been thrilled to be entertained by that thing every day.

There is such a variety. Of like high-quality content on there that blows my mind. And it's so good that I think it genuinely threatens it.

Like, when TikTok—

when I first started using TikTok, I, I said— I told this to you— I said my one competition, like a thing that I'm seriously worried about, is TikTok. This was before it was big. I was like, I am scared that TikTok is going to be bigger than individual creators, right? And it's just going to become this like powerhouse itself. And I think that's what it's become. Like, it's, it's like, it— like, the name TikTok, and it's not like YouTube. Like, YouTube, like, obviously the whole YouTube is bigger than all the creators on it, but there's something about TikTok that, like, is such a weird source of entertainment that, like, that just, like, trumps every other fucking— every other page or outlet out there. I don't know, I just think it's incredible.

Yeah, it is well done.

All right, guys, that's all the time we have for today's podcast. Thank you guys for listening. Jason, thanks for joining me. It's so nice to see you.

So great to see you, Dave.

Thanks for having me.

Not really.

I can't hear you. You're too far away from me.

Good. Thank God.

Outside, I think a plane went by.

Okay, I'll see you later. This is the Views Podcast.

My name is—