David Discovers Sexsomnia

What's up guys, welcome back to Views, the podcast where we are late again. I'm so sorry, but it's because we were posting a vlog.

Let's go! Whoa, David, David, I have— I was so jazzed.

Hold on, let me do 5 animals.

Cat, dragon, Natalie drunk.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. All right, what's up, Jay?

I was so excited coming over here.

Jay came over so excited.

I was so hyped. I was in my car, I was watching the vlog as I drove. I was like, oh my God, I thought it was so good. Then I came in here and it was like, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's like, come on, man, I don't— keep the win.

There's no such thing as winning when you're vlogging. It's all about the next one.

No, it's not true.

I know, I know.

It's the first one you got out of the way. You did such a good job. It came out so good. Your editing was so good. The songs you chose that were so good. I mean, and when you're down, then the rest of us are like, well, why the fuck are we doing this?

I completely forgot what it was like editing a vlog. Like, completely.

Yeah.

Like, I was just like— because, because last night we were editing and I was like showing it to Ferris, and I like was having a pretty big tantrum. I was like, this is fucked, this is fucked, it's impossible to put this together, it's impossible, it's impossible, I can't do this. And then today I was just going through my library of like songs.

Yeah.

And I found this one that I've never seen in my life because I'll just download random songs and like I don't— I'll forget about it.

Sure.

Um, and I saw it and it changed the entire vlog for me. I was like, what the fuck?

Oh, incredible.

Yeah. And then it made me see things clearly and I remembered how much of the edit is in the edit, or how much of the vlog is in the edit. Like, I completely forgot because I haven't really edited in like—

and how much, how much the heavy lifting the song does.

Yeah, the song. Yeah, the song can take you through fucking so much.

Yeah, yeah. Once you have that song, you just fill in the little pieces.

Um, but yeah, so now you guys know that the reason we went to Bangkok and Ibiza is to put a vlog together.

Yeah, thank God we can say that.

What?

Thank God we can say that.

I know.

Yeah, you wouldn't let us say it, and I was just kind of like, well, what do we talk about? We're in big—

but yeah, it was, it was really fun. I really wanted to go to like a foreign country, especially to vlog. Foreign countries are the easiest to vlog because everyone there is like so gung-ho, like excited about a camera.

Sure.

In America, it's like, it's just like a different kind of culture here, right? Like they—

and it depends where you are.

Yeah, I guess it does.

You know, you gotta just get out there and get your camera out there, put your black hat back on and be old, be old 18-year-old Dave.

Gain my 30 pounds back and we're good to go.

That was my first thought. I was like, oh, I am going to gain all my weight back.

Oh, totally.

Well, you guys snacking last night. I couldn't believe— I came back from Wyatt's show and David called me over here, which I'm happy to come over, came over with Naveen. What do I see? Buffalo Wild Wings.

It's Wingstop at 12:00.

Oh, Wingstop.

Did you happen to notice how much that Wingstop revived me? Like, I was like down and out about the— oh, Natalie was asleep, she didn't even see.

She was asleep.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. But the second that Wingstop hit my mouth— yeah, there's nothing better than fast food. I'm about to start crying right now. I'll figure you out. Genuinely, genuinely, you know how passionate I get. I don't want to get into another hate speech where I talk shit about the fitness world.

Sure.

Because I don't like doing that. I don't like doing that.

It really bugs out a lot of people.

There's nothing better than fucking chicken wings. Boneless chicken wings from Buffalo Wild Wings, Wingstop. And I hate looking at the fact that 15 wings is 1,500 calories. It doesn't make any sense. And then ranch, my bucket of ranch that I get is another 400 calories on top of it. So it's a 2,000 calorie meal at the least. I don't like seeing that, but boy does it bring me happiness.

And then I saw you celebrate with a Snack Wrap.

Yeah. Well, not only that, yesterday Yesterday when I ordered the Wingstop, you guys were ordering Bossa Nova, which I can't resist. Then I ordered pesto pasta too.

Do you eat that too?

Uh, no, I had a couple bites. But this is the problem with vlogging is like when you're editing, it's like any kind of like computer desk job, right? When you're like, when you're like tied into the computer.

Yeah. Like you don't know when you're going to eat next. You're like, okay, I might as well just order now.

Yeah.

And then like a couple hours later, you're like, fuck, wait, I might not have time later. So like I should order again now.

Yeah. And you're like, and you're like, I might as well order like a high calorie meal because I may not be able to eat for a while.

I need a lot of energy.

Yeah. I need a lot of energy. So I'm getting, I'm getting fucking Wingstop. Stop and pasta.

No, that's literally it.

So that's not fun. But what were you gonna say, Jay? You want this guy that sleeps people— sleeps with people?

Yeah, yeah, my friend, he, uh, he has sex— he has sexomnia, which is a disease where he has sex and he doesn't know it.

That's not real.

What? I don't know, he's telling me. I met him on a dating app. What do you mean?

Like, like when he's having sex, his like memory gets wiped?

I guess he'll bang his wife at night and he doesn't remember.

Like in his sleep, like he's asleep and he wakes up, bangs her, and then—

Yeah.

What do you mean?

I guess—

Wait, is this guy available? Can we speak to him?

Sure. Yeah, I'll give him a call. Andy? Oh, what's up, guys? Hi, Andy. Andy listens to the pod.

Do you think he's asleep right now? Andy, can you hear me? Sorry, Jason just passed the phone to me. Okay, so apparently you're some kind of sleeping sexual maniac.

I wouldn't say maniac, but it is an interesting thing about me. It's like a party fever.

Oh, like a party— oh, okay, okay.

Surprise! Here's my dad.

Yeah, wait, okay, you gotta explain this. Is this like a real disease or is this something you made up? Are you being 100% honest?

No, yeah, yeah, this is 100% true. I wish I was with my wife right now, but, uh, yeah, so pretty much what happens is I fall asleep and then my wife says that I start talking to her and like I start like trying to flirt with her and then, you know, it literally happens like randomly. So I wake up and she notices when I wake up in the middle of having sex.

Shut the fuck up. Wait, so you'll start having sex with her, you're asleep. It's like sleepwalking, but you're sleepfucking.

Yeah.

Yes, exactly.

And then you'll wake up and you'll be doing the deed and then do you—

Yeah, yeah, so she can literally tell when I wake up because she says my eyes open up like I'm like super surprised where I'm at. And then, but I mean, I'm a gentleman, so I have to keep going.

Good man.

You do realize how incredibly lucky you are that you have a wife, right? This situation would be a lot tougher to explain with somebody you're hanging out with for the first time.

Yeah, that's why my homies, I don't let them sleep over.

Oh my God.

Oh my God. Yeah, if one of my friends started fucking me in my sleep, that would be crazy. Natalie's tried. Wait, okay, so how long— when did you realize you had this? Is this like a thing that like— is it— is this like a common thing?

Yeah, so it's like Okay. Let's say like once or twice a month.

Wow. Oh no, I meant like, do people have it? Like, is it common within like—

I really don't know. I'm not like fully diagnosed with it because I feel weird bringing it up to my doctor.

Yeah. It's a lot safer here.

But I mean, you guys talked about like penises and things like that, so I felt really safe here.

Yeah. Yeah. Honestly, if I ever need a diagnosis, I'd rather talk about my asshole here than face to face with another human being. So you're right. You're right.

Exactly.

Well, is there anything that you need us to help you with? Like, do you think, um, do you want to stop doing this or does your wife enjoy it? Does she, does she prefer sex with you when you're asleep or awake?

You know what, I don't know because we have a name for him.

Oh.

I think she kind of asks like, hey, so his name is Pedro. So she's like, hey, is Pedro coming out tonight?

I'm like, uh, I don't know. Oh my lord.

She's like, I want to fuck Pedro. Wow, it's literally like a split, like a split personality here. That's incredible.

She's lucky. She's like in a throuple but with the same guy.

I thought Pedro was his cock. Pedro's his alter ego.

Pedro is the full thing.

I call Pedro my cock.

Do you— is it— is it— are you— when you do this sleep fucking, is it strictly with another partner or has it ever been like solo? I guess you wouldn't know.

Well, yeah, I wouldn't know because it has happened where I don't remember anything at all. Like, she wakes up and I wake up in the morning, she's like, hey, thanks for last night. And I'm like, what are you talking about?

No way.

Yeah, yeah. So it's like to that point where sometimes I don't remember or sometimes I wake up in the middle of it.

Yeah, but do you think that if your wife wasn't around, you would just, you would just start fucking a pillow or you would just masturbate, or what would happen? No, no.

So just for the fact that it happens, like sometimes she like touches my back, my back, like trying to say like, hey, good night to me, you know, like being all cute and cuddly. And that's when he awakens.

Oh, so, so she is triggering to it?

I think so. Or sometimes she says she's just like trying to sneak into bed and like the bed shakes and she says I turn around and she's like, oh no.

That's so— could you imagine?

Ask if he ever gets scared when he's like awoken mid-act.

Yeah, do you ever, do you ever get freaked out when you wake up and you're like, oh my God, I'm, I'm doing it?

Yeah, yeah, because this is TMI, but we're already this far. She's like on top of me, you know, and like she's enjoying herself, and I just like wake up and I'm like, holy fuck, like what's happening?

Oh my God, you know what, I wonder if, I wonder if this is actually your doing or if this is just your wife having sex with you while you're asleep, because I, I I have a feeling she's convinced you that this is your doing, but she's just really horny and she must have a thing for sleeping you. I'm glad we figured this out with you. This is why it's important to always reach out to The Views Podcast for any kind of help.

Yeah, I feel way better knowing this.

No, but seriously, thank you for messaging Jason about this. This is right up my alley. For sure.

Yeah, I had a feeling. I was literally listening to last week's Saturday's podcast On the way to work and I'm like, do I feel like outing myself?

Sure.

Oh, the one where we talked about the porn?

Yes, exactly.

See, I knew that would resonate with people. I've got so many DMs about our last episode where we talked about porn. We gotta talk about that shit more.

Really?

Yeah, we gotta get Ilya in here though. He's the leading expert on it.

True.

All right, well, thank you for calling. Please keep us updated.

Of course. Thanks, Andy.

And congratulations on bringing the vlogs back. I'm super excited about that.

Oh, you saw it? Thank you so much. I'll see you soon.

I'll see you guys later.

Bye.

Oh my God, I was such a hero for Love Island, you know. Wait, it's been going on for days.

Oh yeah, okay, so let's talk about that. We, yeah, we, um, we had some of the cast here. So the last vlog, we surprised, um, Jason's kid Charlie. Yeah, um, and her friends with some of the cast from Love Island. And it was really crazy because we had like 8 of them here while the show was still on. The show was like on TV. It was the day before the finale.

Yeah.

And they were here. They were here for like 3, 4 hours.

It was like perfect timing. Like unbelievable timing.

James Seale helped us set that up, who we've had on the podcast before.

Yeah, the Mormon.

The Mormon. He helped us set that up. It was incredible. They were all so nice. Great. And yeah, this was like— The reaction to them was like we surprised your daughter with prime One Direction.

I mean, I've never seen a reaction like that over anybody.

It's crazy. I was shocked. And even the Love Island cast was shocked. They were like, this is the craziest reaction we've gotten so far. And I was like, yeah, I don't know what's going on. The girls were fucking salivating.

Yeah.

And then we went out to the club with them. We took them out to Keys, which is like, whatever. The clubs in LA, they're not the best. It's not like clubbing anywhere else. But dude. It's like we walked in with, like, fucking Celine Dion.

Really?

Yeah.

Yeah. Like One Direction.

No, Jay, people were fucking losing their minds.

Seriously?

In L.A.?

Crowding in L.A.?

Do it, do it, do it. You walk in, you're the girl. You see the guy from Love Island.

Go, hey, like that.

More fervent than that.

That's it. No, no, no. But like, it was like herds of girls coming over, like a group of 10 would come by. Then the next would come by and there would be a massive crowd. No, no, Jay, like, it was like— I don't even know what to explain it. Like, it was like really— like, I've never seen that happen in L.A.

How do you guys explain that off a reality show? I don't know. Just watching every day and they're so invested.

Yeah, it's like that.

It's like if somebody was like— someone was daily vlogging, you know, it's like—

it's also— they're really approachable. So like, yeah, if Kendall Jenner was at the club, like, that's not happening, right?

Yeah.

No one's flocking the table. Kylie Jenner, no one's flocking the table.

And the show is like so personal. Like, you're literally watching these people make out. Tell each other their most intimate moments. Like, you really feel connected.

It was, it was very much like, yeah, I guess Natalie described it as like a vlogger at like the peak of vlogging.

Yeah. And like, it was interesting to talk to a couple, a couple of the guys, but I've— sorry, go ahead.

I've just never seen in LA— this is the point I'm trying to get across. Yeah, like people in LA, yeah, I, I get that.

Even like Justin Bieber?

I mean, like, if Justin Bieber is at a club, obviously everybody would be looking. Same with Kendall and Kylie. Yeah, but no one would be flocking.

Right, right, right, right.

Because like, because people, there's like a code for that kind of stuff. Like, you don't do that. But there's something about these guys that like, it's— Natalie hit a nail on the head, is like, you see these people every day, like, you think you know them, and they were totally great with meeting people. They loved it.

Yeah.

But it's like people are throwing themselves at them. It was fucking really crazy to see. Sorry, what were you saying?

I had a couple conversations with some of the guys and it was really interesting. They were like in just getting into their fame. They were maybe 2 days into it because they had come off the island and the kid was like, the look on his face was like, we walked down Melrose today. I think his name is TJ. And he was like, dude, I walked down. I've never been to LA. He's like, I was walking down Melrose. We had to leave Melrose. He was like, I—

oh my God, totally.

And I was like, I was like, oh my God. I'm like, that's so crazy. And then another guy was like, I mean, like, what, what do I do? Like, I— like, how do I— what do I do now? You know? And I was like, I don't know. He's like, I may want to do YouTube. And I was like, you should, you should, you should go for it.

No, they were like very fresh off the boat. Like, I've, I've never—

they all were, they all were special. I don't watch the show, but talking to all of them, they were special.

They were very nice. Yeah, no, no, they were definitely cast like—

yeah, cast well.

You could tell that there was like some thought that went beyond this casting. Like, all, all of them were— had like a personality.

Uh-huh.

All of them, all of them had their own thing.

Yeah, they weren't, they weren't just like some good-looking guy. No, they were a good-looking guy with— that were funny and had a personality.

Totally. Yeah, yeah, it all, it all made sense how they were put on that show. But yeah, they were all very like, hmm, I don't know how to explain it. Like, yeah, like it was just—

they had star quality.

It's like when I got on Vine, you know? Yeah, when you blew up, just crazy.

You're so famous, dude.

Couldn't even go to Costco.

No, that must have been annoying.

Oh, so rough. I'm just trying to get my chicken.

When was your most— when was your—

when was your, uh, my highest peak of fame?

Yeah, yeah. When were you like, goddamn, this is too much for me? Um When were you like, maybe this isn't the life for me?

Um, I don't— never. I don't think I've ever been. I love it.

Yeah. Have you ever— okay. Yeah, I'm obviously kidding about like— yeah, like when you were—

my level of fame is so nice. It's like 1 or 2 people per day if I go out. Yeah. If I go to the mall, you know what I mean? When I was in Japan on the layover for Thailand, I got approached like a couple times and that was cool.

Really?

Yeah.

Where's the place you get approached most?

Just probably the mall. Oh, Disneyland. Oh, that's the most people. Well, there was a time where Charlie and Wyatt and I were going like, you know, twice a year.

Yeah, that's really funny.

Yeah.

But yeah, no, these guys were, these guys were the best and, uh, I really wish them the best.

Yeah.

I just can't imagine like that show specifically is like so 0 to 100. Like the winners that won literally yesterday.

Yeah.

Are on Good Morning America this morning. They have no idea that anyone even like knows that. I mean, obviously they have some idea they're going on the show.

Guys, if you don't watch Love Island The Bachelor or any reality TV show, basically they're filmed for like a month or two. Love Island's filmed for like 40 days, right?

Yes.

5 weeks.

And while you're there, this is any reality show that has to do with love. Most likely they take away your phone, they take away your computer. You have no access to anything, no social media. You can't— you don't have— and when I say you don't have a phone, I mean you literally can't make calls. They only let you know that something happened is if there's an emergency or a death in the family. That's it. Two of the guys we spoke to found out their dogs died once they got off the show. They had no idea.

Oh my God.

Another, another person I spoke to from another season said he had no idea the Queen died for 3 weeks.

Oh yeah.

Yeah.

Like, it's just, it's really interesting. And they, so they do this thing, you know how like in Love Island they'll bring on new contestants throughout the season? Yeah.

Bombshells.

So what is it called?

Bombshells.

Bombshells.

Yeah.

Yeah. So they have, they have bombshells basically in waiting at the hotel. So you'll be called by the show and you'll sit at the hotel for 3 to 4 weeks with no phone. Yeah, no phone.

Can't leave the hotel.

You can't leave your hotel room except for an hour a day to go work out and another hour to go sit by the pool. And when you go sit by the pool, Natalie also knows all this because she got a brand deal with Love Island on the first season.

Like 5 years ago, I promoted the first Love Island USA.

So yeah, so now when, when the contestants go by the pool, You're not even allowed to see them, right?

Yeah, we were there and all the contestants were staying at the same hotel and they, during their one free hour of the day, they would click because, you know, CBS or whatever, they buy out the whole hotel so nobody can go by like where the contestants are and they can't interact with each other either.

So they can't have any contact with people. Yeah, it's really, really crazy.

It's crazy.

It's a mindfuck.

It's a mindfuck. And that's why, like, when you're on The Bachelor, like, you're always like, like you're watching the show The Bachelor and you're like, how do all these women fall for this one guy? And it's because this is the only person that they're in contact with. Yeah, like this is the only person they could spill their guts to or speak to or open up to. So it's like, it's literally, it's, it's a complete mindfuck. Like you, you just, you're automatically falling in love with this person.

What would you do if— what advice would you give them right now if they have, they just got off Love Island, they're at the peak of fame, what do they do?

I don't know.

Well, it's just like start a beef jerky brand.

I feel like it's so easy.

What do you do?

Like, because they signed up for it, right? So that, so in some—

and they had no expectations that it would be this big either. So they're Signing up for their, like, I think they have a certain—

I think they have a kind of expectation because the last couple of seasons have been doing good.

Yeah. Oh yeah.

People are. But, but yeah, I think it's pretty simple now. I think they just have to start posting, right? Yeah. I mean, it's just like, especially when you're that, like, when you're hungry enough to be on a reality show.

Yeah.

Where your phone's taken away and you're like locked in for a couple of weeks.

Yeah.

I don't think you'll have that much of a problem doing the social media part. That'll be like a walk in the park.

No, that's a different beast. It's such a— to show up somewhere and perform and they take care of the editing and the cameras and everything, it's a completely different beast.

Okay, okay, okay. So my advice, I guess, would be to not get caught up in the partying because I feel like that's— oh yeah, yeah, I feel like that's gonna happen right away.

Everyone's gonna want to party with them.

Everyone's gonna want to party with them. You're gonna— yeah, yeah.

But also to put yourself out there, I feel like it's so important. Like, you have such a small window to like capitalize on, you know?

Yeah.

And like really take advantage of like, okay, you have all this notoriety, like get out there.

And I was telling Natalie how funny it is that like it feels like Love Island just like graduates a new set of influencers every year. Yeah, like it's so funny. Like when they were here, when they were hanging out here, we hung out at the house for like 3 hours after we filmed and we ordered pizza and stuff and everybody was like talking to each other and it was just so fun. It felt like a wrap party for the show, even though we weren't on it. But it was just so interesting. It literally felt like a graduation, like, and they were like being welcomed into the social media world. It was so funny. And like, I know the Love Island cast from last year and from the year before.

Yeah.

And you know what I mean? It's just like a new batch of like 8 to 15 people. It's like really interesting. Yeah. And that doesn't really happen anywhere. 'Cause there's no like, there's no like—

No surefire like pipeline to influencer stardom.

It's it, 'cause like when was the last time we saw influencers blow up? It's very, it's very rare.

Yeah.

COVID. TikTok.

Yeah.

TikTok did it. And that's when we got, That's when we got like Bryce and Charlie D'Amelio. Yeah, you got your Addison Rays, you got your Noah Beck, Josh Richards, you got all those guys through COVID.

Yeah.

And then that really hasn't happened since then.

Yeah.

Like the last person I remember like blowing, blowing up is like maybe Alex Webber, Axel Webber.

So I would say like Alex Earl and like Jake Shane was like the new like post-COVID like wave of people.

That's true. But I feel like I don't see that happen anymore. And that was happening on Vine a lot. It almost feels like there needs to be like a new app or a new medium now to like bring in the new rising stars.

Why don't you start an app?

Okay, I'll get on it, I guess. Just so I could scout new talent. No, but yeah, I mean, I think they'll be fine. Just get caught up with the partying and stuff.

And then anyway, it was just like, I was such a hero at the house. It felt so good. Thank you so much with Charlie.

Oh yeah, yeah.

Huge, huge, huge, huge. They thanked me outside. They pulled me aside. They were like, Jason, you have no idea how big this is. I was like, really? They were all like, you're the— they were like, you're the best dad ever. Even the other kids said it. I was like, I am not the best.

No, there's a moment in the vlog which I wish I caught better where like Charlie daps you up. I thought it was so cute. Yeah, yeah, it was so cool.

I was, I was proud of her. She, she really got her friends here on time.

And well, and Charlie's just really good at like, just like, she just has so much energy and she's so sweet.

She's good with rolling with it.

Um, but someone else who I have to give credit to is Vardhan. Yeah, Vardhan's really crushed it the last couple— Vardhan is actually a big reason I wanted to pick up the vlog camera again. Yeah, there was like a car ride we had, like, what was it, like 2 months ago?

Yeah.

And Vardhan's like—

me, Jonah, and Vardhan in the car. David had to take out his old Tesla to recreate a bit that he was recreating. Yeah, we were in the old Tesla, which makes you, you know, think about the vlog.

Yeah, we were in the old Tesla and we were like cracking jokes. And Vardhan was like—

which is so great you have the old Tesla there. It's like a little museum piece when you walk in.

It is really funny. I think I posted like an Instagram story or something, or I posted like a TikTok or something. And one of the comments was, they still all ride around in that thing?

Oh my God.

Oh, it was someone clipped my Snap story and it was us going to the movie theater. I only take the Tesla when there's too many of us. Yeah. So we could like squeeze 8 people in there. And like one of the top comments was, they still ride around in that thing, which is so funny. It's like a school bus. Yeah. So we were in it and we were like making jokes and Varun's like, see, this is perfect for the vlog. And Jonah was like, can you just shut the fuck up, Varun? He's not going to vlog. And there's something so sweet about Vardhan enjoying it. Yeah, I don't know, because I always like— Vardhan was the only child star in the videos that I could compare to a child star on anywhere else. And just to know that he, like, loved it so much and to like, and to know who he is, and then he loves it so much. Like, he is the most pure-hearted person. Yeah. Driven by nothing but by wanting to make other people happy and like making something special. Like the fact that I know that's who he is and this is what he desires and what he craves. Made me really go like, fuck, like, I'm— I should be doing that thing that makes him that happy.

That's so interesting because in that moment I was just like, Vardon, this is so futile.

Like, it's not working.

But he actually got 3D that night.

Yeah, that's really cool. So then we had a bit we didn't put it— I think I'm gonna put this on the second channel, but we took Vardon out to a basketball hoop and we blindfolded him and we said, Vardon, you make this shot backwards and I'll start the vlog again. And he was like a freaky guy. He's like, this is the best opportunity ever. Thank you so much. He took like 6 practice shots, missed all of them. And then we blindfolded him. We had him shoot backwards and, you know, he missed, but the plan was to react like he made it. So he missed, actually was pretty close. Yeah, it was close. It hit the backboard. So to him, it actually sounded like it really did go in. And then we all freaked out and he was so excited. And that's it.

We all went, no way, Vardaan!

You fucking did it!

He's like, I did it!

And there was like random kids walking by. Yeah. And they were like, what just happened? We were like, oh, Vardaan just brought the vlogs back.

They're like, what?

No way!

Because he made the shot.

Speaking of child stars, I saw met, uh, Enzo from the vlogs last night at Wyatt's show.

He's incredible.

Insane. He's so handsome.

Yeah, he's really good looking.

And now he's acting. It's gonna be in an Adam Sandler movie.

Shut the fuck up.

Yeah, so we were joking last night when his dad was like, he's like, don't worry, we sent over the, uh, the clips from David's vlog to get him the role.

Shut up. That's funny. Wait, is he gonna be like a big part or just like quick?

Uh, I think he's got, uh, like a couple scenes or something.

Oh, no way.

I think he's got— I know he has lines. I don't know if it's—

Enzo, if you don't know who Enzo is, he's the little kid in the vlogs before Vardaan. I don't even know how to explain it.

He had like a voice like this. Wow.

He's a real—

now he's like a real man.

Yeah, yeah. Now I see him, I run into him at Equinox. Yeah, he's lifting. It's like so funny.

We got to get, uh, Enzo and Vardaan together.

We did.

You did?

Yeah, for a vlog, I think.

Not All Grown Up.

Oh no, no, no, but it was Enzo confronting Vardaan and Enzo was like, so you're the new kid. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah.

No, but now it'd be funny to see like Enzo, who's this like like handsome stud.

Yeah.

And then like, what happened to Vardhan?

That's really funny, dude. Vardhan, Vardhan, last night was here when we were editing the vlogs. That man, he can't sit still. Have you noticed this?

Yeah, he follows you like he's your moon.

Yeah, he's like attached. No, like he's your shadow.

Yeah.

Yes. And you'll say moon's better because he has his like own gravity. I don't know what it is.

Oh my God.

Yeah, but like he— when he comes close to you, you like feel like you're being—

he just like falls into you.

Like he falls He doesn't have control of his body.

He doesn't stay still.

No, he doesn't.

So he kind of floats around banging off all of us in a circle. Yeah. And then finally David just goes, "Vardar, please, please just go inside.

Just please go." "Please fuck it, sit down." I had to lock him in the movie room at one point. He's like, "Are you locking me in the movie room?" I didn't end up locking him, but I wish I could have because he just kept bouncing around all day. He's really funny. J, you got something good. I know it.

Who wants to hear me speak?

I bought a refrigerator. Oh, I have my fucking skin cancer came back.

Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.

There's a lot.

Can we talk about the refrigerator? That's my top choice.

You like refrigerator?

Let's talk about your refrigerator. That's second. We go skin cancer, and then can we talk about something else, and then we'll let Natalie speak?

We had a refr— we have a refrigerator that's just like not working.

So, okay, that— go, go. What did you want to say? Wait, is your skin cancer really back? Goddamn it, this is no way to podcast.

Yeah, it's back.

One thought at a time.

Fucking sucks. I had it taken out. Remember I had it taken out? Yeah, I couldn't work out for 2 weeks, so I go back there She goes to take the stitches out and she goes, she goes, by the way, I didn't get it all. She's like, we have to go back in. Fuck. Oh, I gotta go back in again. It's really, it's really not. Now that I say it out loud, it's nothing there, but okay.

Well, um, I know you maybe don't experience this so much because you're all the way up in first class, but when you're sitting like, you know, in the back of the plane, isn't it so crazy that like we're on a flight for 14 hours or whatever it was and you're like fully sitting next to a stranger, watching a movie, eating, drinking. And I don't say a— like, I don't— I usually never say a word to the person that sits next to me.

Can I ask something?

What?

Do you think people know when you fart on the flight?

Uh, yeah, you think people know?

I don't know, like, because sometimes I'm like, oh, it could be coming from this direction. Like, I feel like I know what direction it came from, but I also am like, I don't know.

What about when you let one go? Are you like thinking to yourself, they'll never guess that it's from this seat?

No, I know.

Not always.

I know I will not on a flight.

I usually won't either.

Wait, really?

So bad.

I'm lucky I don't fart that much.

I get the gassiest on flights.

You do? Yeah, I get boners.

Oh, no, I get boners and gas.

Ew, dude, what the fuck? Good title for this pod.

Um, yeah, but I always assumed that they don't know.

Really? You just assume they don't know?

Yeah. The, the reason I do think, okay.

Well, you're also like passed out the whole flight. So I feel like you try to use that to your advantage. Like, oh, I'm dead asleep. They will never know that.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Like, like that's exactly what I think. Like, as if you have to like be completely awake to be letting out farts.

Um, aren't you in a blanket too though? So you can kind of suffocate the fart. Yeah.

But like, this is like a little bit of a, like a flex. So I'll sit first or business.

Yeah.

And, um. And there's pods. So that's what I'm scared of.

What do you mean?

Like, that's when you're safest.

No, because that's when I think the flight attendant's going to really zero in on where it's coming from, because then they're walking around like, this pod is reeking.

Yeah, but that's fine.

I'd rather—

yeah, yeah, yeah.

So when they come up to give you a hot towel, you gave them a hot towel.

Exactly. Yeah, exactly.

I'd rather that than like my actual seatmate know that I farted.

What's the worst place you've ever farted? I'm so sorry, this is like such a stupid juvenile question, but like, on your pillow. On my pillow. Really? What is your favorite place to fart? I'll say it. The hot tub when friends are in there.

Are you actually—

That's so E. coli.

That's like fucking weird.

I'm kidding, dude. Oh my God. You took it back.

You took it back.

You're not kidding. He's mouthing, I'm not kidding.

Yes, I am. I'm totally kidding.

Ew.

Are you fucking serious?

No, of course not. Of course not.

Why are you being so open about this? I liked it better when you didn't fart or poop.

Why do you do that? Is that like a little like fucking—

I've really opened up about farting since the hemorrhoids. Yeah. I've always wanted to be one of those guys that goes—

No, it's so gross.

Fart box or whatever. And they're like, they lock you into the thing.

I don't know.

I can never like get myself to do it. And I feel like I have to start talking about it more.

No, it's not a good trait.

You never Dutch oven Natalie, like when you guys are editing in the bed?

No, I don't fart around my friends.

Really?

You said you just, you let it rip in the hot tub.

Yeah, but when I know that they won't know who it is. I used to have a little situation, relationship. And once things ended, I saw her like a couple—

like, I don't know where this is going.

I saw her a couple like weeks later, and I was like, you never farted. Sorry, that's not how I said it.

Yeah, start over.

That's not how I said it. That was really weird. Hey baby, hey baby, why you think you're leaving so soon? You haven't even passed gas. Um, no, but it was like, you never You never farted around me. And she's like, I farted all the time, but it sounded like things that were just happening in the house, which is really funny. And I, I've learned from that. And now I'll just fart and I'll just keep walking and you'll look at me and I'll keep the straightest face because farts do sound like you're dropping things. And the louder you let them go and the more straight-faced you are, The harder it is to tell that it came from you.

Yeah, the more pleasure you get.

Yeah, because like, that's insane. I'm sitting up right now.

We finally got you to talk about something you're passionate about.

Because like, if you really, if you like really let one go and it's really loud, like everyone most likely is gonna go, oh my god, I'm so embarrassed, or like they'll make a face or start laughing. But that's the secret. You keep a straight face there and no one will know that you had the balls or audacity to keep a straight face and let that fart go. Oh, that's what I'm talking about. That's what this— that's the thing.

I don't know if I like this topic.

Really?

You're doing the Lord's work here, Dave. Giving out good advice to people.

Well, you didn't like the porn topic, Natalie, so I'm like having a really difficult time gauging what your interests are here.

It's porn and farts.

So not a crop dust, an actual like loud fart as you walk by Taylor or Natalie.

Natalie's right. We've talked about this too much. I would never do that to Tay.

But to Natalie you would.

No. Dude, Tay's my favorite. Yeah, I like— she's really been growing on me recently.

She's been our friend for like 6 years.

I can dissect that.

Really?

Yeah.

Wait, what do you mean?

Do you want me to?

Yeah.

Okay, here it is. So you've been sitting on your fat ass for the last 3 years.

Yeah.

Right? Playing pickleball, living a wonderful life.

Yeah.

And Tay is a big part of that. Tay will bother you at 3 o'clock and you'll do Snapchat or whatever.

Yeah.

Maybe for a couple hours.

Yeah.

And then you go back. So now you're actually working.

Yeah.

So now when you see Tay, you think of that old life, the old couch Dave life.

Really?

Yeah. Tay cutting up the cucumbers, the watermelon, the grapes.

Yeah. I told her that yesterday. I was like, "Tay, I miss our time together." You don't miss Tay.

You just miss being a lazy piece of shit.

No, I miss Tay so much.

She's right out. She's right 10 feet away from us.

You just saw her.

Oh, Tay, are you here?

Come here.

We're talking about you.

She's gonna look— I hope we can get a couple of meows.

Okay guys, Chase here.

What did you say about me?

Oh, tell her, tell her, because it won't sound real coming out of my mouth.

That's actually quite the opposite. He was saying how, how much he was loving hanging out with you lately.

Oh, lately? Like, like when we used to hang out back before you like made this video?

Yeah, yeah, that's what Jason said basically too. It's really funny.

Yeah, it'll come, it'll come around, you know. We'll get our time.

You miss your time with Dave?

Yeah, a lot. I actually got really bored for a sec. Like, it was lonely here, for real.

No, like, there was yesterday— yesterday I was editing or something in my bed and she was sitting there. I, I don't know what we were doing. I think I was editing or just like laying and bored, and she was leaving, and I was like, dude, tape! But like I was like, you're like one of my best buds. And then she goes, ah, you always know how to get me to stay.

John like turned to me yesterday when you guys were all sitting on the bed and me and him were just clearly just watching, have no input.

When we were editing? Yeah.

And John just whispers in my ear and goes, you know, we just gotta stick around. Just gotta be here for him for moral support. And I was like, yeah, man, we do the same thing. He goes, I feel like we're pretty equal.

That's true.

We both kind of just sit here and do the same thing.

It's really funny. Yeah, you guys are just like the vibes.

Yeah, we bring the vibes. Wow, the positive vibes.

What did you— yesterday we were editing to like 1 or 2 AM. It was really late and we were really tired, and Tay, you stayed by. And what did you do last minute? You like did something and you're like, thank God.

That's why I stayed. I, I think that was actually why I stayed. Basically, you, you always go, put this in a safe spot, and safe to me means like no one will be able to find this, you know, except you.

What is a safe spot?

Oh, SD card. Sorry, an SD card. He always hands me an SD card and he's Whenever he goes, put in a safe spot, I always have to like come up with like where only I would know.

It's a different spot every time.

Yeah, I mean, he's hit SD cards like 50 different places.

Like, you know, it's been a while since the last time I had to hide one.

Yeah, so this time I really gotta think, you know, where do you put them?

That's a secret. Come on, that's the whole point.

Um, so yeah, anyway, you brought up— you were like, where, where were we like when we were filming in the car? And I was like, oh my goodness, this is why I'm here.

Yeah, this is why I'm here.

I'm being called to my destiny.

It was like 4 hours of just her being the vibe police.

Yeah.

And then we finally needed her for something. Yeah. She like stayed 4 hours longer than she definitely had to.

You needed it, right?

Yeah. No, it was really important. Yeah. Yeah. And I really—

and there wasn't just one SD card, there was two.

Yeah.

And she found the exact one we were looking for. Oh, it's incredible.

Well, there's nothing more important than that.

Yeah.

Because, right?

Yeah. And then when a card is lost Oh, hell yeah.

What's the most fulfilling thing that you do here?

Like, you know, just the small moments like those.

Really?

It's worth living for those?

And like, you know, being the vibe police with like, the dog.

When we were trying to find something for this video, yeah, we were all like, we were all, there was probably 10 of us in the living room just like pacing back and forth, calling every number we could possibly find. And then Taylor came in like 10 minutes later and she was like, well, I want to find it too. Like, it was just so cute.

Yeah, I want to help.

Well, no, I actually do get motivated.

We were trying to find a limo and none of us could find—

oh no, but like in those moments, like high pressure, like I feel like that's like— I used to do it like back in the day.

High pressure? You think you do?

Well, I know you think I don't, but I'm here to argue.

Please.

I don't— no, but silly things, like I think that I've pulled through a lot more than you think.

Really?

I will defend myself. There's moments for sure. No, I remember those times, like, you know, skunk Skunks. Yeah, I did that in a day. Ping pong balls, I did that in a day.

Wait, what do you mean skunks you did in a day?

I remember getting a skunk in like one day.

Oh really?

For a bit, yeah. Obviously we didn't talk at the time, but we weren't friends yet. We weren't like cool.

Wait, I think what's funny is if— what does David do? He tells you to set the vibe?

Oh no, he doesn't tell us. We just kind of bring it.

What's the vibe? How do you set the vibe? I think that's interesting.

You just sit there and just be yourself.

Oh, very hard.

I don't know if anyone can do it.

No, no.

Tay's so good at it.

I'm thinking about John when I'm saying this. No one— he just makes you laugh.

Yeah, yeah.

It was really funny last night when the food came. We were editing, but we didn't know what to do. So I got up to leave to get the food. Dave was like, no, no, what you doing? Everybody know your fucking roles. Tay gets the food. Tay, sit down. Tay gets the food.

That was really funny. That was really funny. I was like, okay, okay. Because I was editing with Jason and Ferris. And Jason and Ferris like are right on my left and my right and they're like helping me make like decisions.

Yeah.

And they both get up to go get the food that they didn't even order. I was like, fucking Tay's gonna get the food. This is her thing.

Yeah, because then I remember the forks.

Yeah, it tastes really good.

I think you should give Natalie her flowers. She did a really good job on the vlog. She was planning in Bangkok, not getting any credit.

Cut this out.

Every time we'd be on the bus, we'd be on the bus.

It's like not even been like, okay, yeah, whatever.

Can I say I'm actually impressed with Natalie?

What?

There's no chance, bro. I genuinely am.

Good, good, good. Talk, talk.

All right, you ready for this?

I'm scared.

Here it goes. I don't think she's that much of a bitch. She's pretty chill. No, no, no, no. This is what I was going to say. I actually do find it impressive that Natalie's in the bitch bits, planning the bits, and also corralling all of us. Yes. Like, it is kind of crazy. Like, sometimes I get surprised because sometimes, like, we'll, like, walk into a club and I'll go, where's our table? I'll do something stupid, right? Like, something just, like, so dumb.

Yeah.

And she'll, like, respond. And I'll be like, oh, that's weird. I really thought she was gonna give me shit for my attitude just now. But because she'll be like— she'll be, like, in her phone, like, doing something else.

Yeah, she doesn't really care when you give her attitude. Yeah.

And I'll be like— and I'll be be like, where's Jonah? I mean, like, she'll just be like, sure, she'll keep track and tabs of a lot of things. She's really good at multitasking.

Really good.

She's really good. So I'll give it to her. And you really— this, this video really showed it.

And there was a moment on the bus where everybody was like being fucking mean to her, uh, because like she was trying to figure out where we're gonna go and everyone was like, well, we don't want to go there and we don't want to go there. And then finally we found a place to go. We went to this beautiful building which I loved. It was one of the tallest buildings in Bangkok.

Oh, the burger spot?

Yeah, we went to the top and I, I loved it so much. And I was— we were walking down and I turned to Natalie and I go, I go, and I go, Nat, that was great. I was like, that was like the best thing I've done so far.

You intentionally said it like so that all of you guys would hear so you would give me my props. And then, and then I responded, I was like, well, Naveen actually found this place.

The one spot Natalie didn't plan. Jason tried to give her props. No, no, no. But she crushed it. Like Natalie, you really did actually help.

You did so good.

What was, what was the toughest part of vlogging? Like now that we did a vlog, we did a full vlog.

Yeah.

And like, and like, I like, we've been talking about making a vlog for like a couple months now, pitching jokes and you ignoring and not saying like yes or no. No, that, that was the toughest to you?

Yeah, because I would, I would send you voice memos like, what about this, what about this? And then I wouldn't hear a response and I'm like, oh, this guy doesn't want to do this.

No, I always listen to your jokes.

Yeah, but you don't respond always.

I, I, the toughest part of the vlog I think was just, um I don't know what it was, actually.

I, I just feel like, like, um, maybe filming more would have been better. Like, yeah, getting more opportunities to like have stuff happen. And I think, I think we would just need to film more.

No, the toughest part about the vlog was like setting things up. Like, like, we need that. We need a coordinator. I don't know. All right guys, that's all the time we have for today's podcast. Thank you guys for listening.

You did a good job. Congratulations. I want you to hear me. No, no, no, I'm so proud And I really appreciate, like, all the help.

Everybody, everybody really, really crushed it, especially Ferris. I wish Ferris was here, but Ferris is really great. Jay, you fucking crushed it.

Thank you.

You stayed out long nights partying with us. Joe, I know how difficult that is for you.

Zane was so funny. Ilya was incredible.

It was all great. So thank you. And thank you for everyone that watched. All right, guys, we will see you on Thursday for the next pod. Thank you guys for tuning in. We really appreciate you guys listening. And