Making a Million Dollars In One Night

What's up guys, welcome to Views. Jason, if you could switch your— if you could switch lives with me, yeah, would you?

You fuck yeah. Really? Yeah, hell yeah. Really? I mean, I wouldn't have Wyatt and Charlie.

You lose your kids.

That's a tough one.

What's up guys, this is the Views podcast. I'm David, that's Jason. How you doing, Jay?

I'm good, man. Thanks for having me in your life. I got the call yesterday. You know I'm going to the big Vampire Weekend show.

Oh yeah.

October 4th.

Oh, I was in the car for this call.

Yeah, you were in the car.

Damn.

Yeah, that was crazy.

My favorite. Go ahead, tell the call.

Well, you probably don't listen to anything I say, but I have been talking about this show for a long time.

Because your kids are big fans.

They're big fans of Vampire Weekend, and I like them too.

Yeah.

And when you get to go to a concert with the kids, it's like— It's really fun. I know you hate my kids and me, but—

Who was originally supposed to come to this? It was you?

Well, originally, we have a friend who gets us some free tickets. I don't want to give them free advertisement, but you work with them a lot, and they were like, yeah, we'll totally get you tickets to that. And I was like, oh God, thank you. So to be nice, I was like, let me get a 4th ticket for Marnie.

To be nice, or you love her?

No, I'm not in love with her.

Sure, your ex-wife.

God.

Your ex-wife?

My ex-wife, yes. I was like, that'll be nice, the four of us will go.

Can I tell this part of the story?

Yeah, sure.

OK, so he's going to this concert that he's excited about. He has four tickets, one for his ex-wife. And he's on the phone with her. And I know he's on the phone with his ex-wife because he's being super nice and he doesn't want to start a fight at all. You can tell he's bending to everything she says. And then I hear— it's not even on speaker. I just hear her go, OK, so this is an awkward question. I didn't even know about the Arctic Monkeys concert. I didn't know what they were talking about. Vampire Weekend. Oh, Vampire Weekend, sorry. I didn't even know about the Vampire Weekend concert or whatever, but I knew that she was— I knew the next question out of her mouth was going to be that she wanted to see if her new boyfriend can tag along. And Jason goes, yeah, I'm sure that shouldn't be a problem. That'll be fine. I'll get him an extra ticket. Just like that. He said it almost as if he was— fucking excited for this.

Like, like, like he was excited.

It was almost as if he was waiting for his ex-wife to say, come on, come on, come on, come on, invite the boyfriend.

So yeah, then she was like, well, I can get 2 separate tickets and we can go sit somewhere else. And I was like, well, that's dumb. Don't do that.

Yeah, that'll be weird.

That's so stupid. We're gonna go sit over here and get 5 extra seats. We're all sitting different spots in the— at the Greek.

Sure.

Yeah, so I said, I said fine. So now I gotta fucking get a 5th ticket.

And now you gotta go with him.

Yeah, which I don't mind. He's really nice. I like him a lot, actually. He's actually so fucking great, it's disgusting. He's like really well-spoken.

Have your kids called him dad yet?

They get along so well. When you look at the two of them, too, you're like, oh my God, this is like the fucking person she's meant to be with. They look alike. It's crazy. They both like wine.

What do your kids call him?

Number one. I woke up late today. Wyatt was late for school today. I'm a really bad dad, 'cause you made me go out last night. Can you not, can you conserve my nights out, please? 'Cause it only bites you in the ass, you know.

I didn't make you go out.

Ridiculous.

You were like, should I go out? I was like, yeah, you should. And you were like, okay.

No, I called you in the bed, and you were in the bed, you were like, hi. And I was like, you look like you're not going out, let's not do it. And you're like, no, no, it's gonna be good, we gotta go. Like that, and it ended up being Not good. And you wouldn't even turn your camera on, you little dink.

Yes, I did. We filmed.

We filmed nothing. Not when I was at the party. Yeah. I went out for no reason.

Well, then when you left, I dropped Jason off at like 2 AM, and then my friend Zane FaceTimed me. And I film most of my friends when they're drunk. And Zane FaceTimes me from the bathroom while he's peeing, and he shows me his penis the entire time he's peeing. Oh, wow. He holds the camera right up to his penis.

Oh, right on.

So I'm like, this guy's hammered. So I dropped you off, and then drove 25 minutes back.

You went back there?

I picked him up.

And what happened?

He just passed out in my car. So that was a complete bust. But, and the party we were going to was our friend Anton, who is Zedd, who's a huge DJ.

Yeah. What an amazing guy, and what a beautiful house.

The best DJ in the world, by the way.

What a gracious, amazing DJ. It's my first time I've been friends with a professional DJ.

Like a real DJ.

Professional, professional. Of course.

We actually have our friend Dylan Francis here.

Dylan Francis.

Yeah, I'm listening to the whole fucking thing. Professional. I'm a professional too. I brought you to Vegas, Jason. How dare you?

Dylan, do you— you probably know Zedd's work.

Yeah, we're friends.

Yeah.

And it just hurts me to the core.

Well, that's funny. You weren't at his party.

No, I was because I was in Asia. You know that. And you went there to spite me, you spider.

Yeah, we were.

We were.

Yeah. Okay. Dylan's the DJ, obviously. He's huge. That's a huge DJ. Zedd's house is like massive.

It's way nicer than mine.

It's like, what is it, like $18 million, $20 million?

I only got one hit song. He's got—

17. 5? He's got a bunch.

He's got a bunch.

We were talking to him, and we were just talking about Dylan, just making jokes. And Jeff is talking to Zedd, and he's going like, wow, dude, you have like the biggest house I've ever seen. And Jeff's like, we're friends with Dylan Francis, but it's nothing like this. And Anton Zedd's laughing, and then— And then Anton's like, well, so what is Dylan's house like? And Jeff goes, ah, it's so stupid. He lives on top of a restaurant. It's like a little apartment, basically. Even though Dylan lives in a fucking huge, huge $7 million home, we were just trash talking Dylan the entire time.

It's so funny how mean you guys are to Dylan. Jesus Christ. David literally drives around Los Angeles with his camera. Anytime Dylan's in the car, he'll roll down his window and he'll go, "Hey, you guys, who's your favorite DJ?" And he purposely asks people that he thinks won't say Dylan Francis. And every single time, most of the time, like 60, 70% of the time, they go, "DJ Khaled!" Like that, and then Dylan goes, "Fuck!" And it's one of those bits that I don't think David will ever give up.

No, I won't.

I think he'll always do it.

I love it, it's so much fun.

And he'll never use a lot, he won't use it most of the time.

I'll never use it, it's just to beat me down.

I don't even hit record on those bits, I just— I really— Dylan's reactions to people saying DJ Khaled is the best.

He's like, "Fuck, I fucking hate that guy now." I never used to care about DJ Khaled until now.

Until now, he's a serious part of your life.

He's ruining my life.

One of my favorite stories about David is when I first started working with him, he was like, "Come meet me on Hollywood Boulevard." And I was like, "Oh, okay, cool." So I go down there and he's in a soccer chair, like a foldable chair, and he has a He has a fishing pole and he has a dollar bill on the fishing pole. So I'm like, oh, this kid does YouTube, like, I guess it's like some kind of prank or whatever.

Like, I had the fishing pole and I would throw the dollar out and people would try to chase the dollar bill and I'd reel it back in because they thought it was just a dollar bill on the floor.

I'm looking around, I'm like, there's no cameras anywhere. He's not— and I'm like, hey, do you want me to film it? And he's like, no, no, he's like, just having some fun.

Are you serious?

Yeah, he was like, look at this, look at this, they go for it every time. And it'd be like, like literally like a 4-year-old kid like running and like trying to get the dollar bill and he's like, "Haha, gotcha!" It was the best.

It was me and my—

Yeah, it's a true story.

Me and my roommate Alex, we went out and we bought like, like those chairs that you would have at like soccer games, right? Is that what you're saying?

Yeah.

And we're sitting right in the middle of Hollywood Boulevard and we did it for like an hour and a half. It was the most fun and I didn't want to film it because one, I was busy reeling the money in, so I wasn't gonna occupy my time with that. I don't know. I do that a lot. I do like, I say a lot of things are to go film. Like every time we go visit a college, I actually love going to colleges, but I'm always like, "Yeah, let's go film," even though I fucking know we won't get shit. I just want to go hang out.

Oh my god. I can't believe it just came out of your mouth. You take me to colleges?

I'm never going again with you.

I'm kidding.

It's a joke. I'd totally go. Can we talk about this?

Yeah.

You did tell me that DJs do this thing called a cash grab.

Okay.

Is that public? Can I talk about that, or is that like a secret? Yeah, yeah.

I mean, I think—

Or should I not call it a cash grab?

Yeah, I don't think you should call it that.

I pretend I didn't say it. We can't cut out because we are on a roll, so we can't cut anything out. But, um, it's, it's where you do multiple shows in one night only on New Year's.

It's pretty much— you can only really do it on New Year's.

So explain how this works.

So you'd go— you could go from east to west.

Okay, so Dylan— play Dylan will start on the East Coast. You'll play a show at around what time?

So, you try to play earlier on the East Coast. So, let's say you're gonna do like 11, maybe 10. 10 would probably be a better time.

10 PM.

Yeah, and then you would take a jet to another place, then play there.

In the Midwest.

Yeah, that would probably be bringing in the new year, and then you go to California and play one last one at like 3 AM.

Is that fucking crazy, Jason? You're—

first of all, I mean, I get sick every time I do it, but it's a—

I love how you had to put a name on it. Like, it's called the cash grab. It's in any business that's a cash grab. It's not specific to DJs, you dumb fuck.

I know, but they call it that, you fucking asshole.

Like, there's this thing in the DJ business, DJ world, it's called a cash grab, and it's when one DJ starts a show on the East Coast and then gets on a private jet.

Okay, you're missing the point. That's insane. 3 different shows.

There's no way you can do 3 different shows in one night like that.

No, you can. He does it. How?

I've done it before.

10 o'clock in New York.

Yeah.

You play for an hour.

Yeah.

Then what?

Then you fly to— you'd probably fly to, I would say, Arizona. Play one show there at 12.

That's where you bring in the New Year's.

You could make that. You'd have to do like 9:45.

Wow.

Okay.

Bro, that sounds like it's cutting it real close.

That would be cutting it real— you could probably get there at 12:30.

That's—

you would—

you—

because going from east to west is— it's now 4 hours.

You pick up 3 hours and you come back.

Yeah, and it takes 4 hours to get back.

And then you land in LA and then you do another 2 hours to go from New York to LA.

5 and a half.

Not with the tailwinds now, baby.

Okay, listen, pilots over there.

What the fuck are you—

Well, the tailwinds— is that like a global warming—

Oh my God!

Dylan almost knocked over everything we had on our table. Sorry you guys can't see this, but he's a fucking idiot. Do it.

No, do the math. I want to hear it.

Oh, you want me to knock it over?

No, it's a 10 o'clock show, and tell me when you did it and where we're at.

10, 11, 12. You get back.

What city, what club, go.

Okay, I would have to look back.

Well, just say it. Just say it.

10 o'clock.

10 o'clock.

So 10 o'clock would be somewhere in New York.

You ring in the New Year at midnight.

Yeah.

And now, okay, so fine.

No, you don't ring in the New Year in New York.

Oh.

You don't ring in the New Year there.

What are you talking about, Jay?

You ring in the New Year in Arizona, and then you would fly from Arizona, which would be 45 minutes. To get to someplace to play at 3 AM.

I don't know, like play in Vegas, maybe. Yeah.

Or you could do the easier way would be like you would do Midwest and then fly to Arizona. Arizona, or you fly to—

On the cash grab night.

Yeah.

About how much would a DJ named X make? Now, I'm not doing any names.

But you can say that one.

On a cash grab night.

I can't say. You can't say?

I can't.

Why? What are you scared of?

I don't know.

You know how many fucking possible huge DJs are listening to this right now, and all they need is a little motivation from your cash grab. That's all they need.

They should already know about this.

There is a young Zed listening to this right now.

Is there?

Why do you keep comparing Zed to fucking huge DJs?

I could see it.

What about a young Dylan Francis?

Look, it depends on who you are. You can make upwards of $300,000 to $700,000, maybe a mil. You could make on one night. It could keep going.

It depends who you are.

It depends on who you are and where you're playing.

The Jet is 30.

You're definitely paying for those expenses out of your fee.

Wow, you can make a million dollars. That's amazing. And all you do—

Wait, what if your girlfriend wants to go to dinner?

Then you're fucked. You're not making that money. You're losing a lot of money that night.

If your girlfriend wants to go to dinner. Wow, that is—

That used to be my thing with, uh, when I was married. I was like, I want to do stand-up on New Year's. She was like, are you fucking kidding me?

What?

It's New Year's. And I'm like, Who cares about New Year's?

Who gives a shit? Why would you want to do stand-up on New Year's?

Listen, here we go over here, fucking Sassy Sally.

Yeah, okay.

Always takes the girl's side.

That is not true.

Fucking asshole.

I agree with you.

He doesn't take my side, I know that.

New Year's is just another day.

It's just another day.

It's just another day.

I make a cash grab.

Why are you so stupid?

And jail is just a room. What are you fucking talking about, just another day?

It's fucking New Year's, it's so dumb. And you know it is.

It's so dumb?

Yeah, it's so dumb.

Really?

It's literally, everybody goes out that— Maybe for you, because you go to like nice fancy parties and stuff, but for married people who aren't fucking famous like you—

No, you go out, you're wrong. New Year's meant so much more to me when I was a kid. Every New Year's I would cry.

I'm talking about being married.

Every New Year's I would just sob my eyes out. Really? Yes.

Why?

Why?

Just out of like happiness. I'd just be like, fuck you, I'm being serious. I swear on my life, every New Year's I had happiness. Another year, not happiness, it's like bittersweet. It's It's bittersweet. It's like, I had so many good times this year, and I'm bummed that they're ending. That's honestly what it is.

Let me start my photo collage on my MacBook Pro.

Fuck you. Fuck you. This is when I was in like 6th, 7th grade. I didn't have a MacBook Pro. I was the last one in my grade to have a—

Natalie Imbruglia's Torn.

I was the last one in my grade to have a phone. And then when I did, it was a flip phone.

You said MacBook Pro, you shit.

I didn't have a MacBook Pro because I didn't even have a phone. How the fuck were they gonna give me a computer?

How did you do your homework?

What?

Jason, what are you fucking— how'd you do your homework, you fuck?

I just figured you had a computer back then.

No, are you crazy?

I don't—

I'm just saying. I'm not— I don't know if he had a MacBook or not.

Anyway, what I'm trying to say is I know Dylan makes a million dollars every fucking show, but he's scared to admit it.

Hello, Dylan, it's Kygo. What are you doing for Cash Grab this year?

Who is that?

It's Kygo on the phone.

It's Kygo.

I sound like Arnold Schwarzenegger, but—

Where are you doing Cash Grab this year?

Where's Cash Grab?

I spoke to Kiesto.

He's doing Cash Grab in New York. London, Amsterdam, Las Vegas, and Sydney.

We can share the jet, don't worry.

He's going to make upwards of $65 million. Oh, hang on, I'm getting a phone call from Zed. It's Zed on the other line. Zed, how much did you get for Cash Grab?

Zed says, I'm sorry, I'm going to dinner with my girlfriend.

Do people do multiple countries for Cash Grab?

That's a bit— that would be a bit tough.

That would be tough. Yeah. Okay guys, we're here with Nick Lachey. Nick Lachey is my co-host. No, not co-host.

Well, we can call it that.

You're the host. I'm doing the show on Nickelodeon.

He hosts one Teen Choice Awards and all of a sudden he's got host on the break.

No, no, no, no, no. Nick hosts the show I'm a judge on on Nickelodeon. And more importantly, he's a superstar, pop icon, boy band legend. Legend. Yeah, he was in 98 Degrees. I don't know where I know you from, but I remember hearing your name in school, and I would always make jokes about your name. I would always pretend I was Nick Lachey, but I don't know how it came about. I don't know if it was through your music, if I just saw you on television, but I'd always say your name, and then I heard I was working with you. I was like, no fucking way. It's like a full circle.

Was this like you said my name out of admiration, or was it like, what a horrible shitty name?

No, I would say it like I'm like, cool guy, like I'm like being— because Nicholas Shea like rolls off the tongue and it sounds like—

sounds good, it sounds like a movie star, sounds like a sexy man.

Yeah, yeah. So I don't—

I don't— name's very deceiving as you can see. At least the name works for me.

Um, okay, so yeah, so we worked on the show together.

What—

when— how old are you now?

40— 45, David.

We're the same age. I'm—

oh, really?

Well, I'm, I'm 4 months older than you or something like that.

Well, I'll be 46 in November, so Coming up on 46.

That's crazy.

We met through Nickelodeon. We did. You're the same age as Jason, which is nice. Is that comforting knowing that you're—

I'm not the oldest man in the room?

Yeah. Yeah, it's always nice.

Yeah, it's great.

OK, so Nick's the host of the show.

That's right.

This is my first, like, anything I've ever worked on that's, like, official. Like, the first time— like, even having a writer is insane. Is it a writer or rider?

A rider.

Rider. R-Y. I talk about this on the podcast literally all the time. It's fucking insane.

He talked about it so much, about how he was ordering Chick-fil-A for the first 2 weeks, and then someone told him he could go, like, order somewhere really nice.

Yeah.

You know what? That honestly varies show to show. Some shows they would never have gotten, you know, that Italian stuff from whatever restaurant they were working with.

Yeah, John Vinny's.

They would have said, no, go fuck yourself, we're not doing it.

Every time I would order food, I'd have to, like, I wanted Nick to try it, because I'd be like, Nick, have you ever had John Vinny's? And he'd go, no, I haven't. And then he'd be like up on stage, and I'd like bring him pasta, and he's like, no, I can't eat it right now. And I would get so sad.

Meanwhile, all I have in my dressing room is like this meat platter thing that they bring me. Sure. But that's one of the cool perks about the show.

But that's fucking insane. I mean, I'm new to all that. I don't know. I think you've been doing it for a lot longer than I have.

Well, when you go and have appearances and stuff, there's not like a rider in your dressing room, like things laid out.

There is, but I'm new to that.

Or a whole pack of Coors Light or whatever.

I'm new to those appearances too. So I don't know how that— like, I had a sucker in my mouth, and one of the women that was working there came up to me, and this is serious, she goes, She goes, is this the flavor? Is this the flavor that you like? And I go, yeah, are you being serious?

And she goes, because if you don't, David, we can get you only cherry.

Pick through the M&Ms and pull out every— and that's what it was. And I was like, yeah, this is great. And she's like, well, good, that's my job.

Now here's the true story about a rider, right? Back in the day, Van Halen, when they used to tour all the time, would on their riders say, we only want brown M&Ms. And so literally, if they got to the dressing room and somebody hadn't gotten only brown M&Ms, they knew that they didn't actually read the writer. And so they didn't know what else was possibly fucked up, like as far as their equipment. And that was like their way of testing whether or not the promoter actually read the rider.

Well, what was on your rider? How long did you tour for?

How long have you been touring? We're still touring. We've been touring since '97, I guess.

Holy shit. I was 1.

How old were you?

1? That is fucking cool.

Well, that's great for you. So we're still doing it. But our rider was always like— Like, you see other people's dressing rooms, they have like 8 bottles of liquor and all this crazy stuff.

You're trying to tell me you don't have any bottles of liquor?

Well, we have a couple bottles of liquor. But we didn't in '97, right? Now it's like beer and, you know, bottle of bourbon. Like Metamucil? Red Bull, you know, simple stuff. Red Bull.

Metamucil. You don't have anything? You don't have one crazy thing that's on there that shouldn't be on there?

Not really, but like stupid stuff like ginger root, you know what I mean?

Yeah.

It's stuff that we never use.

Stuff for your voice?

Yeah, I mean, that tea and ginger and honey and all that stuff.

Would you ever trash hotel rooms and do crazy— We didn't.

My brother kicked a hole in a dressing room wall once. I don't think we ever trashed a hotel. What was he mad about?

He—

we—

it was—

we were in New York and it was really early in our career and we just— it had been one of those days where it was like one thing after another after another after another and we finally got to the gig and all these people, you know, our manager brought all these people there to meet us, but my brother just lost his shit. It was just like he had like a nervous breakdown, kicked a hole in the wall. And we've been back to that venue since. They've since put like a metal plate over the piece of wall where he took it down. So Drew's legend lives on in Long Island.

What's your— was there ever like a— I don't know, every time I think of like a pop star or anything, I always think of like a huge breakdown where they just lose it and they fight. Like, did you guys ever fight? Did you guys ever break up? Did anybody ever piss in a bucket like Justin Bieber would, or did anybody—

I mean, we've done plenty of things in buckets, thrown up in buckets, pissed in buckets. I mean, it's— we had a chance to see like some crazy places, you know, Philippines and Indonesia. And like, you go to these places and, you know, everyone gets— ends up getting sick and throwing up on stage and all that kind of crazy stuff. But, um, as far as like— I mean, groups are tough, you know what I mean? Like, you, you obviously— every group fights. That's just inevitable.

Yeah.

Um, but I'd like to think that as far as those things go, we were pretty decent with it. Like, we fought, but we always respected each other enough to come back to the table and figure it out and keep going. And we took a break in there. Like, after 2001, we took, you know, we took quite a few years off. I did a solo, um, a solo thing.

Like the Jonas Brothers.

That's what I relate things to. So you guys are a lot like the Jonas Brothers?

Well, you know, I mean, my brother's in the—

So you copied the Jonas Brothers?

I think we were out before the show started. What did you think of David when you met him?

Oh yeah, first impressions of me, go! I thought you were great, specifically for this show. Come on, you can be honest.

I was on the highway, I'm like, who is this douche in the Ferrari?

There we go. Well, first— He showed up in a Ferrari?

Is that your first impression of him?

No, I had met him before that. I think I showed up in the Tesla. And then we got comfortable. I was like, okay, I'm gonna start bringing the other car. I didn't want that to be my first.

I actually didn't see what he drove up in the first time we met. It was just on the—

I think, yeah, I just wanted more of my personality.

How is his judging? Really, honestly, I'm not just bullshitting. Oh, come on, Nick. No, it was— you know why it was good? Because it wasn't, it wasn't based in music. Yeah, I mean, and this is not rocket science, but you know, you're not a musician, you don't come from it. Sure, from that perspective, but That's what I think that show needed, is it needed a different perspective. Obviously Sierra's gonna come at it from a musical place, a motherly place. Debbie's gonna come at it from a musical place, as someone who's been doing it for a lifetime. And you, I appreciate talent and potential.

You're making me sound so much better. I had no fucking idea what I was doing on that show.

That's the beauty of it, right? Seriously, you can't, if you come in as that person who thinks they know everything they're talking about, about music, it was good to have that perspective.

They want it. I have written down here that you were named the Sexiest Man Alive. When was this? Is this true, or did Natalie just write this?

Because what poll was that in?

Oh, was that—

you were— it was Natalie's list.

Natalie, Natalie, was he not named Sexiest Man Alive? Do you just think he's the most sexiest man alive? Maybe it's just someone left a comment on like a picture. This is the sexiest man.

Good research.

Natalie also said you were the second man on the moon.

Also true.

What else have I done in my illustrious career? Tell us about the— OK, when you were in the boy band in '90s— I mean, you still are. But when you guys were first touring, what was around? It was Backstreet Boys, and it was NSYNC.

NSYNC? NSYNC. So the summer of '97 is when we came out, and we had a single called "Invisible Man." maybe a month before we dropped that single, Backstreet Boys, who had been big in Europe for a couple years before that, they came over and dropped their first single. And so it was really that summer, it was us and Backstreet. Hanson was out with Oompa Loompa. And then you had like Spice Girls came out that summer. Shit, man. So it was the first time that pop music kind of— but it was the first time pop music kind of came back.

Were you pissed that Backstreet Boys were around?

There was a little rivalry there, you know, because we 100%— we had met them a couple years earlier and You kind of try and keep tabs on what everyone else is doing. And then we heard they were— and our videos were both like black and white. It was just, there were too many. But they beat us to the punch every time, so they were the first ones on MTV.

And, uh—

Damn it. But now we're all— I mean, we're all friends with those guys and continue to be.

The coolest thing that happened to me on the show, I think Sarah, she's one of like the assistants on the show, came to my room and she goes, you want to come to Nick's room? We're having some drinks. And I go, what? And she goes, "Yeah, Nick wants you to come have drinks." I was like, "Nick said that?" And I was like, "Okay." So we went to—

What was your impression of Maker's Mark bourbon?

I don't think you liked it. Yeah, it was my first time. Was that whiskey or bourbon?

Are they the same thing? Well, yeah, bourbon's a kind of whiskey, so—

Yeah, so he waterboarded me with the alcohol. No, I'm kidding. So it was my first, like, I took a sip of bourbon, and I mean, I had to, right? I was so nervous.

Yeah, you gotta do it.

Didn't wanna look like a bitch. No, but it was really cool because it felt like I didn't like it that much.

I, I, I couldn't tell.

What did he do?

What did he do? He was like, oh, and then he just, and then he just left it there. And then we all got called to set. It was just, it just sat there. No one ever came back for him.

Like, yeah, he didn't like it much. Um, no, it felt, it felt like I was a man. Like, it felt like I was like up in like a Hollywood Hills home, like drinking and looking over the view. It was all like the older people on set, right? Like in Nick's room was like 4 of us, and it felt like I was drinking with like the camp counselors. Like, it was so cool. I was like, I can't believe we're doing this. And then we got called back to set, and I was like, this is so much more like laid back than like I thought it was going to be. Everyone was very nice.

Yeah, yeah, I was— chill and easy, and from our EP all the way down, everyone was just—

the execs that never— But do you ever think that they're just nice to you because you're the host?

Well, because I was— I don't care why they're nice, as long as they're nice.

Because I was driving away, and Sarah was like, bye, I'll see you tomorrow. She was so sweet, and I was like, And I was like to Natalie, I was like, wow, everyone's so nice here. And she goes, I wonder why. As I'm driving away in the Ferrari.

Bye, we'll see you tomorrow.

Clean this shit up! Yeah, exactly. I'm wondering if I'm like not getting like the taste of like how people—

because everyone was— Well, I've been a PA on a lot of TV shows, and I can tell you, Sarah is not very nice.

And I've never met her. No, but like to us, like to like, from what I've seen from how she interacts with people and how everybody interacts with people, Everyone's so sweet on the show. Sure. So unless they're putting it up for us, there's a def—

I mean, there's definitely a degree of that, but I do think that, yeah, no, I— top to bottom, it was a pretty darn good group of people.

It was, yeah, it was a lot of fun.

Like hosting?

I love it, man.

A lot of it, right? I like it. I really do.

It's awesome. It's like a whole other aspect of your career.

What's—

I, I like doing shows like this, you know. I did another show called The Sing-Off for like 5 seasons.

Yeah.

I like—

so I like being around shows like this because I like being around music and I like seeing young, you know, talented—

You have such a good hosting voice.

Hey, it's funny, my wife breaks my balls because I'm a singer. I kind of sing, and Sierra said on the show as well, I kind of sing my lines, if it makes any sense. Like, there's a melody to it, and I don't even realize I'm doing it.

This is what I want to confront you about, actually. Uh-oh. What the fuck is going on, bro? I remember the show wrapped up, and you said you were going to invite me to your barbecue. Where the fuck's this barbecue?

Did you change? Wait, we haven't had it yet. Yeah?

No, it's a holiday. He looks so guilty. 'Cause you gave me a specific time. You were like, you should come next weekend.

Did that? See, my wife handles the invitations for these things, and I slipped her your—

So there was a barbecue.

There was a barbecue.

Okay.

I remember the first half of it, and then after that it was— No, it was a Labor Day. We had a little Labor Day barbecue.

Labor Day.

But you were gone, weren't you? Nope.

Oh shit. No, I was happy. I was actually at a party. If I wasn't at a party, Nick, I would have showed up.

You would have been personally slighted?

I would have been so, so upset.

David, I promise you the next get-together we have at my house—

Well, no, now I feel like it's gonna be—

Especially one with the kiddie water slide, like it was—

Now it's gonna be out of pity. Nick, I want nothing to do with your barbecue.

No, no, no, I would— You're so full of shit. You were at like fucking Diplo's house on Labor Day.

Sure, I was having the best fucking day of my life, but— You were probably running around doing crazy things. But there is something about Nick that is so like, it reminds me of like my hometown.

Oh, I'd fucking choose Nick's barbecue over anything. Yeah, it's like, I want to be invited too.

It's like there's something like, there's, there's something like very homey about you.

Well, we're good Midwestern boys.

Oh, that's what it is. You're from, yeah, you're from Ohio. You're from Ohio. So I was like, I cannot imagine what his— because his barbecue must be like the steak at Nick Chase's house is going to be way better than Nick's barbecue.

How was the steak at your house? We had, uh, we had a burger guy.

Grillin' Force.

Look at this, he's a fucking burger guy! That is insane. See, this is the shit that I was fucking missing out on. Because his wife handles the invitations. Gotta get on that email list. There's a wicked Halloween party coming up, I'll make sure that you're invited to it. And then, how many people show up to this party?

I'm so, I'm so— I mean, like 100, 150?

Wow.

Fuck yeah. It's kind of the one blowout party we do every year.

How long have you lived in the place you've been living in? 3 years. 3 years, okay. Do you move a lot?

We lived in a house before that for like 5 years, so not a lot.

Is it crazy being a celebrity? You tell me. I mean, dude, come on. It's— No. I do social media, it's a different thing.

You know what, man? Celebrity's such a stupid word to me because it's like, what do you do? It's very stupid. It's like what we do for a living, you know what I mean? I don't like to think I live my life any differently, but—

You're, in the best way possible, you're the least celebrity celebrity I've ever met. You're like the most chillest.

You could pay me a bigger compliment.

Yeah, it's like you're like the most like— I was so excited when you agreed to come do this because you're just like such a normal person.

That was my first question to David.

I was like, what's Nick Lachey like?

He was like— and you never— you're never nice about anybody. He was like, he is the best. He's just a dude.

Yeah, he's just a dude. Honestly, and whenever I sit and talk about like my career and like when we started, and I'm just— I'm really fucking lucky. I consider myself lucky to be 20-some years.

Yeah, all of us are. It's fucking bonkers.

Like, still doing what you want to do and what you love to do.

The fact that you—

27 years, is that what you said? '97 we came out, so what's that?

I'm bad at math.

That's—

I dropped out of school. That's 22.

22.

Yeah, 22 years. You went to performing arts school, give him a break. Stay in school, kids. No, but that's— yeah, that's the dream, to be able to do something like this. Yeah. How did you meet your wife?

We met doing a— we were co-hosting— sorry, co-judging Miss Teen USA contest.

Wow, co-judging. So maybe me and Sierra, my other co-judge, maybe it could be a thing.

Yeah, you never know what the future holds.

So you guys were co-judging?

What?

Debbie's actually single, so you could— you know what, there it is.

Well, you wouldn't have to be a home wrecker.

We have talked about— Debbie and I have actually talked about it a little bit. Yeah, she seems like she's down.

Seeds have been planted.

Yeah, she has two dogs, so I'm allergic. That's the only thing holding us back.

I'm sure the dogs can go somewhere.

I hope so. You guys met Judging?

Yeah, so we met Judging, and at the time, I was married, and she was in a relationship, and she had just gotten the gig as being a VJ on TRL.

VJ.

That's such a funny name.

VJ.

Who approved that?

She's video jockey. All day with him, just thinking, what are the words that I say that aren't around anymore? Like one time, one time we were talking about hiring a writer and I slipped up and I go, yeah, we'll have a guy fax in jokes like that.

He was like, that was crazy. Who the fuck says fax?

I messed up, but that's what we used to say at SNL.

We would say like, I can't believe VJ is a thing though. VJ just— okay, anyway, so you're—

yeah, and then after that I, we, I had a show on MTV and so I'd go to TRL all the time and I'd see her, how you doing, blah blah blah, we keep in touch and I, you know, I'd see her every time I go there and then You know, when I got divorced, she was out of a relationship. Just, it was one of those things where just like, it just lined up. And we'd always known each other, we'd always been friends, but we never, you know, that was the first time we met.

That's so interesting. So you, I'm curious, is that how you met people? Like, I hate saying this, back then?

Back in the olden days, I'd send a Pony Express telegram.

I'd send an owl.

Would you? By carrier pigeon. You wanna have dinner tonight? No, we, Yeah, I mean, we just kept in touch, and then honestly, I had a single coming out at the time, and I thought, well, what better way to get my video played on TRL than to ask one of the VJs on TRL to be in my video? So I asked her if she wanted to be in the video, and she said yeah. Wow. Shot the video, and yeah, it's kind of been—

Is it— do a lot of people get together in the celebrity world, do they get together just to be— just for press?

Like, is that— I mean, I'm sure some people do.

I— You don't have an insight to this? You don't have the secrets? Are you in the Illuminati? I am. I knew it. I told you. I fucking told you. You owe me $10.

I'm actually a Mason.

Yeah. It's literally hanging out of your pocket, actually.

Did you ever have really bad diarrhea before, like, a huge stadium show or anything like that?

We literally— We are the kings of bad diarrhea.

Just the other night, we were at this place in Canada, and we ate the room service, and all of us were like, this might be the night. This might be the night we shit our pants on stage. It was literally, it was like an infectious thing that went through the group.

What's the most embarrassing thing that happened to you on stage?

Uh, gosh, I mean, I've slipped and fallen a handful of times, you know.

Sure, that's part of it. I've fallen off the stage so many times doing stand-ups.

It's, uh, and then I've never— I mean, I forget words quite a bit. I'm really bad with words.

So yeah, you were, you were telling me this, that you forget the words to your own songs.

I'll be in the in the middle of it, I'm like, wait. And I always sing something, but then afterwards I'm like, that was not it. You can tell the faces of the fans, like, wait a minute, this is not the song we grew up with. Wait, is that Nick Lachey? It's not like I ever just stand there looking ridiculous and not saying something. I'll improv something, but it's not right. Sure.

I do that a lot. And fuck, I lost my train of thought. I'm just thinking about Nick messing up.

But I've never shit my pants on stage. No.

Never thrown up.

Any other guys? On stage. Not to my knowledge, but I'm pretty sure if it happened, they would—

David shit his pants in an elevator once.

Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, come on. This is about Nick. Come on. This is about Nick. It has nothing to do with me.

Was it a crowded elevator?

It was just my friends. And we were playing— well, listen, I did it for a good reason, and I almost did it on purpose, if you have to ask me. I was very young. I was 19 at the time. No, I was like 12 or 11, and we were playing mall tag. And, goddammit, and before— What's mall tag? Oh my god, do you know what a mall is? A shopping mall?

Yeah. I don't think I know what mall tag is.

Mall tag is you just play tag inside a shopping center. Okay. So basically we were about to play tag and we were all standing in the elevator before we all ran off and my friends were having a farting competition, so I joined in and I mean, you know— You went too far? I went too far. I, you know, I take things I take these to an extreme. And I ended up winning, but I— I would say so. But yeah, then that happened. And then I, instead of mall tag, I went to go to the bathroom, and then I went home without my friends knowing that I went to go change and take a shower. And they had no idea where I was. And I was the last one to be caught in mall tag, so I won twice that day. Champ. So it was the best. What's the biggest crowd? Trying to change the subject.

So you cheated at mall tag, basically.

I cheated, but I also shit myself, so it was like, whatever, you know.

You're like the person that jumped ahead at the end of the marathon, like, just joined in for the last mile and then— Yeah, but—

Crosses victoriously. But I had a good reason.

Well, that—

no, that is a good reason. What's the biggest crowd you've played to?

Um, we've done a couple, like, shows in, like, NASCAR tracks, and it had to be like 60,000, 70,000 people or something like that.

NASCAR tracks?

Like, you know, like, actually in Chicago.

There's a NASCAR track in Chicago?

Yeah.

And people perform there?

Just south, I think. Oh, that is fucking cool.

It was a big, you know, B96?

What's the best— what's the radio station? I know B96.

I like the way Nick reacts to things that you obviously should know, but you don't. There's 4 tires on a car?

Yeah.

Wait a minute.

Yeah, David. There's a team called the White Sox too?

I know that. Have you ever been to Dubai?

No, it's on the list, man.

Have you been there? No, I'm not allowed to leave the country. Do you know this about me? Is that right? Yeah, I'm under DACA. Do you know what DACA is? No. So I can't leave. If I leave the country, I can't reenter for 10 years. Because I wasn't born here, so I'm not a citizen. And then Trump like really fucked me on like everything. So I can't leave, basically. So I'm stuck. Get the fuck out of here, really? Yeah, I can't. I have to stay here. That's crazy.

Get the fuck out of the country, man.

I can't, bro. No, really, get the fuck out of here. Did you not listen to what I just said? Okay, but where could people find you? If they want to look you up and— He's looking at me like, what are you fucking talking about? I mean, like, what are your social media? Yeah, he's like, at my house, my address.

I don't want people to come to my house. My home number. Yes, I still have a home number.

The landline.

They want my email. Rotary? No, I'm @NickLachey.

Okay, great.

On everything, Instagram, Twitter.

Twitter.

I think that's all I got. When's the show come out? Hey David, when's the show coming out?

The Host?

Take it away, Host. Premieres November 1st on Nickelodeon.

It'll premiere, yeah, November 1st.

I don't know if it's, I think it's 9 PM maybe?

Anyway, November 1st. It's like a good time. Okay guys, that's all the time we have. Thank you to Nicholas Shea. Make sure to follow him on everything. He is the sexiest man alive.

According to Natalie.

According to Natalie. According to Natalie, best-selling book, Nicholas Shea is so sexy. Okay, I'm David. That was Jason. This has been the Views Podcast. Follow us on Instagram, blah, blah, blah, blah. My name's Jeff.

Okay, bye.