David Fell in Love With a Stripper

What's up guys, welcome back to Views. I'm gonna get right into the nitty-gritty stuff. I almost— I can't believe I haven't mentioned this because we've already been doing the podcast 2 times. Yeah, I fell in love about a month ago. I think I've told you this privately. I don't know if I got into detail. Yeah, but like, there was a girl There was a night Ilya, Natalie, and I went out here in LA. Oh, we ran into some work friends, local girl, and we decided to— which we never do, we never do this, this is very rare, and I get very nervous at these places— we went to a strip club.

Whoa.

Yeah, it's Ilya's favorite place is a strip club, by the way.

Oh, hey, really?

Yeah, it's not my favorite place. Okay, I was really excited because I, I don't ever go to the strip club with David, nor actually do I ever go to the strip club, period. Yeah, you never go to the strip club.

He doesn't go, but he likes— he's, he's one of those, he's one one of those guys that he's like a cliché guy. He likes money, cars, business, and work, and boobs. Yeah, that's like, that is what Ilya is like.

I think it's like what every guy is. You know what, every single guy, yeah. He just likes women, cars, and money.

Oh wow, really? What do you like?

You know, I understand you like guys. I understand, but you, you like it to like such a cliché point. Like, you're a cliché.

I don't know what that means.

Like, you like, like your favorite car is a Lamborghini. Like, do you know?

No, my favorite car is actually a Dodge Viper.

Yeah, I know. And that's like the least—

that's like the least cliché thing ever.

It slowly shifted because I think we were giving you shit for you liking it.

No, that's been my favorite car since I was like 8 years old.

All right, so— all right, go ahead.

You literally asked your dad on camera what's been my favorite car since I was a kid.

Lamborghini.

Yeah, what's been my dream car for sure. Yeah, that's one of—

okay, whatever. I'm just— I mean, why is it so impossible for you to admit that you are just like a cliché? Which is really funny because like your— because your personality doesn't give cliché. But then I guess like a half of him died. Now how do you explain it, Nat? You love saying that he's just like the most dude on dude.

I don't know, it's like you lift weights, you eat protein, you like girls who like carbs.

I'm not doing this podcast anymore.

You guys just fucking shit on me.

That's not a bad thing. Anyway, we're at the strip club. Long story short, strip club, fun, good time. I don't like going because like, I don't know, I just, I don't know what to do. Like I don't, I'm so awkward.

Yeah.

And like.

Yeah, right.

Yeah, well this time I knew exactly what to do.

No, you didn't fall in love with a stripper, did you?

Well, she's more than that, first off. No. So, like, we got— we immediately sat down and we, like, sat at the best place. They gave us the best seats. And Ilia immediately and I were like, we were both like, this is amazing.

I mean, right up at the stage where you can throw all your money.

It wasn't a stage. It was basically like tables.

Okay. There's like 10 private sections around the stage. There's one girl on the stage and around the private— like, every private section has like 3 or 4 dancers.

Yeah.

And we were sitting right next to the best ones.

Nice.

Like, we were like, oh my God. And Ilya noticed. Ilya obviously knows my type. And he was like, dude, this girl's like exactly your type. When I was already like— I couldn't get my eyes off of her. I was like, oh my God, this girl's beautiful. So then Ilya— Ilya wastes no time. Ilya's— what did you say to her?

Um, well, she was dancing in a different section of the club, and I was like, how do you come over to this section? And she's like, I I can't because, uh, this section is not cleared. I need like 5 minutes.

And whatever she sounded like, I can't—

I don't remember. For some reason, it's foreign in my head.

Um, but yeah, so, so yes, she came over.

Yeah.

And, um, I mean, I don't know how to explain it, but like, she was incredible.

I love it. I love that you gave Ilya so much shit and you're the one that fell in love. You know what I mean?

It was the craziest shit ever.

That's the cliché. He looked like the guy Goes to the strip club and falls in love.

He looked like a kid in the candy shop, bro. Crazy.

But it wasn't, it wasn't like— but Illya likes, like, I don't know how to describe it. Like, this girl looked like she's like, she didn't belong in the strip club. Like, she shouldn't, she shouldn't be there.

So she was making the most money.

Yeah, I mean, that's definitely how she got me, right? Like, yeah, yeah, yeah. Um, Illya likes the more like GT— like out of GTA style stripper. Like, like Like, you do— how do I describe that? Like, I guess that's it. It's like the most like— yeah, yeah. But like, she seemed like she didn't— anyway, we got to talking, it was really great. Natalie thought I was like doing a bit the whole time.

I gave her my deck number because I've never— I— we've been to like strip clubs before, but I've never seen David actually interact with a stripper. Like, he's just like there with all his buddies or doing whatever. And but this time, like, he was full on like getting a laugh. This girl was giving him a lap dance, and I was like, oh my God, like, this has never happened before. I thought he was like in trouble. Like, I was like, oh, because He just looked so nervous. His hands were like— I don't— they weren't on her. They were like up in the air.

I don't know where to put my hands. Like, you can't be— so you gotta wait for them to like move your hands and stuff.

So much money.

You're just sitting on my hands? No, no, no. Um, but yeah, then she like moved my hand. Oh, it was crazy. You should go, dude. You gotta check this place out. No, but Natalie thought I was like doing a bit. Anyway, we got to talking. It's really cool. She's only been doing it a couple months. Um, and then she's like— she—

so he's getting a lap dance and his hands are in the air?

He's just like to his side, like to side. Yeah, it's not like I'm under attack.

It's a really funny—

he's just like holding the dollars and I'm like, I'm like, put them in.

Yeah, right. And it's like, I don't know. Anyway, so yeah, so we get to talking and then she like has to leave and she comes back and like says goodbye to me. Nice. And there's like a pause where she's just like, oh fuck, this is like, girl, want to see me again?

You're so fucking lame.

It's crazy. I was like, I was like, okay, so I just, I guess I'll give her my number.

Yeah, he didn't ask for her number. He put his number in her phone for some reason. It's just like the lamest shit to do at a strip club ever.

Like, that's insane. Because you know why? Because I, I was like, it's better for me not to have her number. Like, I don't want to text her. Sure. Like, it's gonna—

and tell Jay what you did that night.

Tell him, tell him that you stayed up until 7 AM. Yeah, it was a long night. It was already 3 though, so hold on. So yeah, it was like 3 or 4 we got home. Yeah, and I stayed up. I was like, I'm gonna stay till 5 because she'll probably text me. So I stayed up.

You're Googling what time the club closes.

I did, 100%. And 5, she didn't text me when I thought the club was closing, but I remember her saying that sometimes she's there till 5 or 6. So I'm like, this could be one of those nights, whatever. Fuck it, I'll stay till 6. And then no text. 6, no text comes around. And I'm like, well, she's probably like on cleanup duty. So she's like, clean up and close up. I don't know. Yeah, I don't know. Like when I was a retiree or when I was working at the retirement home as a waiter, there were some days I had to stay longer because I had to clean up. So maybe it was one of those days. No text, whatever. Yeah, it's been a month and a half now. No text.

And Sapphire hasn't called.

Honey.

Honey.

Okay, sorry, honey. But she gave me her real name. Obviously, I'm not going to disclose that. But yeah, there was like a true— it felt like a true connection. And I know I sound like I'm completely like, just like I've fallen for and I've drank the Kool-Aid of a strip club. And I think I have for sure.

Do you think she would have called? Did you really think she would call?

Yeah, definitely.

Like you had a connection?

I definitely thought she'd text. What? I definitely thought she'd text.

What kind of—

you're like 18-year-old me. It's so funny.

What did you think she'd text? That she'd be like, Not even to like, not even to like hang out another time, but just to be like, you should come back and spend more money here.

And I just think that they get that so fucking often.

No, I know they get it probably every single day, literally 20 times a day, which is why this is a crazy— why I wanted to share this story, because I feel literally delusional.

She might have a boyfriend. Yeah, you know, and the strip club is— it's like, think of it as like the theater. Yeah, my friend's like, she's playing a character.

That's— yeah, my friend dated a stripper once.

Yeah.

And he like really enjoyed it because he was like, he was like, now I know she's not cheating on me because I, because I can see it when I pick her up. Because like, like, he almost— he's like, I know she's doing it.

Yeah.

So it makes me feel good about it. I was like, okay, that's kind of a way to look at it.

But have you seen that TikTok where the guy talks about how going to, um, Eleven in Miami boosts your ego.

Wait, I think so. What is it? 11 in Miami, first of all, for people who don't know, is the biggest, craziest strip club of all time. More strippers than there are people. Yeah, like, like, you want a certain amount of strippers, like, like, more strippers than patrons for sure. Like, this isn't a joke. And it's open— what is it open? Nearly 24/7.

Yeah, maybe as many as there are patrons.

Yeah, yeah, it's ridiculous. Okay, so sorry, what happened?

Basically, the guy went on TikTok and was like, let me tell you guys, if you ever want an ego boost, go to 11 in Miami because you you walk in and there's the hottest fucking girls ever.

Yeah.

All you do is you turn them down one by one. You just feel so good about it.

Yeah, that is like usually my strip club experience is like obviously we're always with a group of people and like the place you go to in Miami at like 4 AM is the strip club.

Yeah.

Or really anywhere at 4 AM. So yeah, normally I'm not really game because I just get too nervous, but this time I was like just the right amount of junk. And I was like, fuck it. And yeah, I mean, I think I met somebody that like—

Honey.

Honey. I think potentially down the road there may be a text coming once she frees up from her boyfriend. I respect that if she has a boyfriend. I respect, honey, that you're waiting out and I will be waiting by the phone.

And you haven't thought about going back to see her? Because that would just be too demoralizing.

No, I told her, I was like, should I just go see her? Like, I know where she works. And she was like, are you on fucking meth?

That's crazy.

No, no, I'm half kidding when I say this.

We should go back though.

We know.

But I'm certainly also half serious. Serious, maybe even more than half.

We know you're less than half kidding. What's Nat doing while at the strip club?

Like, that's the best at strip clubs. Yeah, that's the best. Yeah, and that's grinding on everybody, and that's on the floor.

That's in this— it's on the floor.

I don't know who's who. I mean, you start throwing money, you're like, oh fuck, it's letting on that, because you don't know if that's one of the strippers. That is the best at strip clubs. Yeah, and she's like, I don't know.

Really? Is that like— are you being funny?

Well, that's just the best to go out with, period.

Yeah, I'm just there doing my own thing.

Yeah, and that's really weird. Like, she'll just get drunk and she just like— there'll never be like a moment where she's like feeling like she has to go home. She'll just like— till 9 in the morning she'll be—

you mentioned that she's like a tank. She's been a tank.

Oh my gosh, yes.

Well, we— the, the one big turning— like the one big turning point Natalie and I had is we had like a morning where we were up to like 9:30 in the morning. It was with your sister, and her sister was just like telling us stories about her sorority, and I went to bed, yeah, like 9, 10 in the morning, and I was like, what the fuck did I just do? I can never do that again. And that was when I was just like— and then I didn't party for like the next 3, 4 months. Yeah, because that scared me so much because the stories were so boring. I was like, can't believe I listened to fucking Natalie's sister talk. And I was like— and I was— I remember at the time I was like into it. I was like, so she was telling good stories. Oh my God, she's here! We— dude, this fucking story is crazy. Okay. Sorry, Bella. All right, we have, we have, we have Bella here who, before she tells the story about what was going on here at her college, um, we won't use names for it just for the sake of it, but we just got back from Australia. Yeah, um, we were, we were having a great time. We were going out. Bella, Natalie's sister, found love. It was incredible.

I love Aussie men.

Yeah, she like loves Australian men in general. Like, there is a particular Australian man that we hang out with frequently with that she is in love with.

I only know one.

Exactly.

Oh, Harry Jowsey.

I knew I would love this trip.

Yeah, so she was like, really?

This fucking woman loves Harry Jowsey.

Okay, like everyone.

Pause there. Every time he's around, really, she's like, you think, you think he'll kiss me tonight?

Anyway, I was in my element in Sydney. I'll just say that.

Yeah, she was killing it in Sydney.

Nice.

There was this, there was this guy who, um, Who, like, Emma, who's our Australian friend who we came to visit.

Well, it was day one. Emma brought us to the beach, okay? And like, every hot, beautiful person— everybody on the beach was hot and beautiful. It was insane. Six-pack, tan, whatever.

Australia's like a daytime thing. So like, I don't think— as much as people go out there, more people go out during the day. Like, they're at the beach. Like, that's like—

people really take care of themselves.

Like, yeah, yeah.

Um, and there's a hole in the ozone layer there, did you know?

There is. UV's high. Tanning.

Which I thought that was like a lie, but like, that kind of does make sense for how much like tanner everybody is there. Like, apparently there's a hole in the ozone right over Australia. I don't know if that's like an— that sounds like such an Aussie joke that they just like say to everybody, but I completely bought into it.

And it wasn't much hotter?

The UV was like 12 every day.

Oh wow.

Even when it was cloudy, it was like really hot.

Yeah, but it was really stormy. We got— I got the worst weather when I got there, but they had like 2 good days because they went earlier.

Yeah.

Um, but there was this guy that came to the beach with them that, uh, that Emma was like, Natalie, I need to set you up with this man. He's like fucking perfect for you. He's beautiful, he's tall. I saw pictures of this guy. Completely agree. Perfect. And it was Natalie's mission to hook up with this guy.

It was not my mission at all.

Natalie likes to downplay things because she doesn't, you know, she's just a cool girl. But like, Natalie wanted this man more than she wanted water.

We know. I don't see that. That makes me sound like a freak.

I think she really wanted it anyway. Look, I'm just—

he was very cute and I was like, he's a perfect Aussie man.

Yeah, I'm just going to cut to the chase. He comes by one day. To the club and like Natalie talks to him for a couple seconds, but that's short-lived because Bella stole the show that night. Natalie's little sister was a superstar.

No, you didn't.

And she jumps right in and boom, takeover the entire night.

We were locked in the entire night.

Oh my God, they were locked in. It was actually really cute.

We didn't leave each other's side the entire night.

They're fucking just on top of each other.

They're dancing.

Yeah, just like dancing and just like enjoying each other's company, like holding hands, dancing.

I was like, oh my God, this Natalie's raging, raging, seething with anger.

Really? Stupid bitch.

That's my man.

Yeah.

There's a picture in the corner. Her face is like so pissed and it's like, no, Natalie was actually pretty—

Natalie's actually pretty good about it.

No, I was so excited.

For the lack of action Natalie gets from men, she took that like a champ.

It was expected. I was like, okay, yeah, it was right on set.

And then, and then I FaceTimed Natalie later because I'm like uploading something. On, uh, oh my God, on Instagram. And I was like, where the fuck am I supposed to sleep? And I'm like, what?

Because we share a bed.

Yeah, they share a bed. And I'm like, what do you mean? She's like, well, Bella's been there with a guy. And I'm like, oh man, it's got a fucking bird.

My little sister kicked me out of the room that night.

Yeah, the room they share in Natalie's friend's house. Natalie's sleeping on the couch while Natalie's crush is with Natalie's little sister in the room. I mean, it was It was really bad.

Oh, wow.

Yeah, it was. I mean, but Natalie again took it like a champ. And then the next day, apparently it was amazing. You had like the best time.

It was very fun.

And then the next day he texts you like the sweetest thing.

Yeah, he's very, very sweet.

And Bella's like, I don't know how to respond. I don't want to respond. He's being too nice. No, no, no, no. I'm like, what the fuck?

That's not exactly what I said, but I don't know. We were having fun in Sydney. I wanted to like—

I'm pulling up the text exactly what it said because I have Bella's phone here.

No, I was responding for sure.

This is what he texted her at night, and he was like, he goes, I think I'm gonna have to come find you tomorrow. Can't leave without saying bye.

Yeah, right, which is so fucking cute.

And then he says, can't leave without saying bye, XX. He puts the two X's.

She's like, the XX is perfect, perfect Aussie.

Okay, shut up, because that's how you said in the moment. In the moment you were like, I don't know what to respond. I was like, what the fuck? This guy's being like the sweetest guy to you. I'm like, this is how difficult it is to be a guy, by the way. And then she finally responds an hour later. 'Yes, I'll see you tomorrow.' 'Yes, period. I'll see you tomorrow, period.' No, no, no, I write it a lot sadder. It's got multiple S's and it's got two exclamation points. Oh, that's a convincing of us like yelling at her in the car being like, 'Dude, fucking respond to him. Stop being mean. Also, poor Natalie, like all she would want is a Texas man and you're not even giving him a single response.' Can we please stop acting like I'm like Desperado over here?

Like it's like a fucking dry spell or something.

But Ilya did say, we were in the club and Ilya looks at Natalie and he's like, It's kind of crazy that Natalie's the best-looking, like, woman here right now.

Wait, what?

He said that?

Yeah, he said it. He's like, it's weird that, like, the guys don't notice that. And I actually think that from time to time too. I don't know what it is, but, like, Natalie is pretty good-looking, but there's something about it.

No, there really is. I can't figure it out.

I don't get it either. And I do think a lot of the times it's like we look like we're dating, or she, like, she's rolling with, like, 4 dudes. So it's like, it's kind of intimidating for another guy to come up. It's like, like, is she fucking one of these people? Like, I'm stepping on somebody's toes.

Yeah.

But like, in Sydney, it was pretty much like a lot of random dudes who had no idea who any of us were, and you were with—

I must not give off—

like, we were just talking about this in the car, and we were saying like, in LA, like, this, this would never happen. Like, we don't really get as much attention.

But like, when we go on trips, like, I definitely got a lot of attention though from, from like this trip.

You did?

At the club, I didn't, because I think I was just like I was busy wrangling everybody. 'Cause I'm also, when we go out, I'm playing mom at the same time. So I'm occupied, I'm not locked in on a dude.

Sometimes I forget that Natalie's nice.

Oh my God. That is the biggest burn I've ever heard.

You know what I mean? Natalie's so nice to me.

Yeah.

And so when it comes, I'm like, wow, that was so fucking nice.

Wait, wait, wait, what?

And then I'm like, do I? Am I programmed to think she's cold and a bitch or something? But she's not. You know what I mean? Natalie will go the extra mile with me on stuff with you. Maybe something that you won't talk about, she'll be like, oh, okay, but no, this is really what's happening. She'll give me the extra minute, which puts me at ease. And so she's actually done that a number of times, and every time I'm like, I'll turn her to me and I'm like, wow, Natalie's so fucking nice.

That is interesting.

I thought she was a bitch.

Are you programmed to think she's cold?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because you're just a—

I love it.

Good luck.

You're like— Number one, I was just gonna say that. I think guys are intimidated. And number two, like, you know, sometimes you're not like bubbly.

Yeah, yeah.

So I think a guy, when a guy meets a girl that's bubbly, they're like, oh, this person's so fun.

She's definitely not like a girly girl.

Yes, exactly.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Exactly, exactly. And so I think that makes people go like, well, wait a minute, is she in a bad mood?

Or is she—

you know what I mean?

Um, kind of.

Well, you know her better than anybody.

Well, the only reason I get the— the only reason I understand what you're saying about the cold stuff is because like, she'll— when she's working during the day, so like she'll send emails, like not like in a cold way, but she'll just send emails in like not like a let's get fucked up tonight ways.

I'm not talking about emails. I'm like, just look at her.

That's why I'm thinking—

oh.

Like, just look at her.

Just look at how she talks. Her demeanor, her energy.

Yeah, so you're saying her energy. Okay, I'm just trying to not get in a fight here, you know? Like, I'm trying to agree with both parties here. Natalie, you're amazing.

I do that with Naveen. Like, I don't know if I'm supposed to call her skinny or her ass fat.

You know what I mean?

That feels like exactly what you're doing here.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

You may be calling her fat and her ass skinny. No, I agree.

Agree.

I, I think, I think just the surprise.

I agree with why, because like we really haven't narrowed down what the hell you are.

Dude, I thought you were— I thought we were just going to drop it there, to be honest.

I agree.

No, no, agree with like you do, you do give off cold vibes, but you are very warm.

Sometimes mysterious can be good and intimidating can be good.

Okay, that's my little sister trying to hype me up.

Yeah, the bell is so fucking funny.

No, sorry, let's not get into this.

Yeah, we'll get into this, but I don't mean to change the subject.

Are you, are you okay with Well, I just don't know like what I'm supposed to do differently because I think, I think, you know what it is? I think honestly, I think you're the fucking problem. And I'm pointing at David.

I'll take it.

I'm like on alert because we're hanging out together and I'm just like always, even in like social settings.

I, I, sorry, I still don't know where you mean, Jason, where she's like sometimes cold. Give me a specific reason.

Okay, look at it. Look at her right now. Okay, here, right here. Um, uh, We get to your house.

Yeah.

Hey, what's up, Nat? And Nat'll be like, hey. And there's nothing wrong, you know what I mean? But sometimes you're like, oh, is she— is everything okay? You know what I mean? She's like, hi, how's it going?

Everyone good?

You know, whereas like, if you walk through with Taylor or Susie, she'll be like, oh my God, you know, what's up?

Or, you know, like, hey, Jay, how's it going?

That would be Taylor.

Yeah.

You know, and so— and there's nothing wrong with that. Like, that's actually nice. That makes you unique. Do you know what I mean? It makes her so unique, and it makes her so funny in the videos and the Snapchats, 'cause it's just hilarious.

'Cause she can't be bothered.

Who can't be bothered?

Natalie. She's like, "I do not have the energy." No, she can be bothered.

She has, not to be cliché, but resting bitch face, you know what I mean?

Okay, okay, I see what you're trying to get at.

Kind of, not kind of.

I think that I'm just really juggling so many things during the day that I have limited energy, so I can't just be like, "Oh my God, guys, how's your day?

This is amazing." If I showed up somewhere and maybe like one in a thousand times, one in 500 times you did do that.

Yeah.

When you're like, maybe we're going somewhere and you're like super excited about it.

Yeah.

And you're like, oh my God, I'm so excited. It'll be like, whoa, whoa, who's this?

Yeah, I see that. I feel like I'm a pretty like low energy human. Yeah. In general.

It's not even that. I see what you mean because like when we go out, like my roommates for like a couple months didn't get along with you. Right? Is that fair to say? Like, John and Alex not didn't get along with you, but they just didn't understand you. And then when they started going out with Natalie, they were like, she's the fucking best. They were like, they're like, we can't— like, now we can't take a trip without her. Like, John, Alex, like, we can't go anywhere without her. But that is because now they've realized that during the day she's helping us figure things out, and then at night when she's she's just a regular human.

Yes.

Like, if you gave Natalie a billion dollars, she— other than her hoarding it to herself and not sharing any of it, because I feel like she's really cheap like that— she would be the best. Like, if she had no stresses in her life, it's just like, yeah, she'd be the best to go out with, hang out with every day, right? Um, but I think it is because she, like, deals with a lot that it's like—

but those are the best people too, the people that you have to, like, peel back the orange a little bit.

I feel like we've done it enough. I feel like we've backpedaled enough, right? I feel like Natalie's fine. We're good.

No, my son is like that.

Low-key, bitch, low-key fun.

I'll take both.

All right, let's talk about Wyatt.

But that's it. No, definitely not talking about those.

I feel like I wouldn't— sorry, I just want to put the button on this. I feel like I wouldn't work if I was one way or the other. Like, I feel like I work in this scenario, in this, like, life and environment because I'm half of this and half that.

Totally. And, and it makes you appreciate when you're fun. Yeah, because, you know, yeah, it's like you can't have the good days without having the bad, right? So it's like That's what Natalie is. You see her, you're working, you're like, ah, fuck, whatever.

I don't want to say I'm not a bitch, because I definitely can be. I just want to throw that out there.

I'm not telling people I'm not. That's good.

I didn't say you're a bitch. I just said your face looks that way.

I'll take it.

I don't think you are. You just look that way. Jay, I got good news.

What is it?

We just got our first DM of someone asking us to help them with their problem.

Incredible.

And they labeled it "views problem" with exclamation points, which made me see the DM very easily. Yeah, I know there was a problem with the views. Like, I thought we said something fucked up. Second one already. But here's, here's the situation. This is the first one, by the way. I didn't nitpick or anything. I just took the first one. Views problem. So me and my partner have a normal relationship, but we've been briefly talking about trying swinging, and we came to think of my best friend and his girlfriend. We have felt some indications, but nothing big they could— nothing big that they could be interested. So question is, do you think it is too big of a risk to ask them, and how would we ask? What do you think, first off?

Man, I don't know how people do that swinging stuff.

I mean, oh, what? Yeah, I'm so for it.

You are?

Yeah.

Okay, so you—

no, I'm kidding. Let me backtrack.

Well, I feel like we're missing some key details here. Like, how long have they been in a relationship? They've been dating for 6 months and now they're trying to swing?

Like, that's not the important part. Both of the people are down to do it.

Yeah, that's fine.

Both of the people in the relationship, even if they've been dating a month and they want to swing, they want to do it. The question is, how do they ask their best friend's couple?

Well, don't ask friends, first of all. That's wild.

I don't think so. I think you should ask your— I think if you're— if this person says it's their best friend that they want to ask, if they're genuinely best friends, that's an easy ask.

So John and Julia walk in here and you have a girlfriend. You're like, yo, John, Julia, let's take our clothes off right now.

I think you ask it as a joke. The way I see it is there was this couple that we used to hang out with.

Yeah.

And every time we'd be out, the guy would go, come on, kiss my girlfriend. And I would tell Natalie, I'm like, Natalie, they want me to join them. Oh my God, yeah, I forgot about this. They want me to fuck them. I know, I know it for a fact.

And I was like, you're crazy.

Yeah, but every time we'd go out, it'd be like, come on. And then it progressed to, you'd fuck my girlfriend, right? And they'd keep going. I'd be like, what the fuck? And I'd be like, Natalie, I'm telling you, Like, they're not even being like discreet about it. They want me to have sex with them. But it started out as a joke, right? And like, I don't even know if at one point I even asked them if they were being serious, but I think that's the way to do it. I think you go about it like, there's no way you'd fuck us, right? I mean, I know it's bad advice to like, to like go around it like you're kidding, but I think that's how— you've never been asked to swing?

If you did that to me and Naveen, I'd never come back. Really? Yeah, I just feel like, okay, we gotta hang out there for a while. If I asked you in a vein, if I was like, hey, you guys want to fuck or what? Like, even joking, I'd be like, whoa, I'd run.

I guess that's really—

it's like a threat to my manhood, you know what I mean? That would be like such a threat. I'd be like, oh fuck, like what? Like, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. I'm like, I'm not comfortable enough with myself to like—

but I think you're like that.

I am like that, of course.

Like, I'm like, whatever, brother. Like, like, I feel like I'm a little bit—

Yeah, but you're not in a relationship either. So in other words, think back when you were in a relationship, how protective you were.

Totally, I do. But that was like, that was like a long time ago.

Now you're different? It sounds like stuff— but by the way, it sounds like you guys are getting wild at night up till 9 in the morning. No, no, I mean, like, sounds like you guys are doing some wild stuff. Swinging, it's going out there.

No, no, no, strip clubs.

Honey.

Honey. Oh my, my.

Yeah, you didn't hear from Honey, did you?

Oh, open me up. No, I don't know. I just feel like—

I just feel like it doesn't really— it usually ends poorly. That's my only— that's my only, like, especially if you're doing it with a best friend, then if it does end poorly, you've now also lost your best friend.

Yes. Okay. Yeah, yeah, I guess.

What if— what if— what if you—

I guess. Okay, that's good advice.

What if your best friend starts fucking your girlfriend, and he's doing like a 10 times better job than you ever did. She's screaming and screaming, and all of a sudden you're like, dude, lay off. Hey, don't hit it so hard.

Okay, yeah, that's really scary.

Yeah.

And then have you ever actually been in a scenario like— like you're giving advice as if you've been in a scenario like this and you're like thumbs-upping it. I think in theory you're like, oh yeah, that could be cool.

Yeah. Have I been in a scenario where my girlfriend has had sex with my best friend? No. There's been a situation where there's been an actor that has asked me to have sex with his wife, and I don't want to go into it. Whoa. Yeah, I don't want to go into it. It definitely seemed like a possibility.

Yeah, but that's—

you have to do if it works.

What's going on with your voice right now? There's There's definitely that sort of thing going on, especially in Hollywood, but I'm just saying for you as a person, yes, you have not— you and your girlfriend have not been like, hey Ilya, let's swing tonight?

No, never.

No, no, no, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.

I've never had a girlfriend. That's—

so the guy that wanted you to have sex with his wife, was that— was that like a build-up to that, or did you just like meet them that night and he's like, let's go?

It was like a meeting that night, the first time you met them? Yeah. And this was a really long time ago. This How old am I? 28. This was 9 years ago.

Wow.

This was when I was 18.

Did we help the person? What was our verdict?

Oh, right. The verdict is, yeah, I think— oh, I— oh, go for it. I think, I think ask your friend in a joking way, but also be careful that it may ruin your relationship. It just depends on the relationship with a friend, I would assume.

If you do do it, can you please write back and let us know what happens?

Yeah, I think, I think just play them this podcast and just be like, this is so weird, they're talking about this. Could you Imagine if I asked you, it would ruin our relationship. That's really funny. And then see how he reacts. But ask him before this moment, okay? When you're playing it back to him.

Isn't that so funny that I wrote into the guys on The Views podcast and they read it?

Don't say it's you, but I don't think it's too big of a risk to ask. You also never know. And their person's saying there's some indications, but nothing big that they could be interested. So yeah, no, but definitely let us know. The person that wrote this in. What is your name? I want to keep you anonymous. Okay, I won't say it, but definitely let us know what it is. And if you have more questions like this, please DM me or Jason. I love this shit. I love— I used to watch this guy named Woody's Gamer Tag on— he— all he would do is play Call of Duty. I was like 15 or 16 when I was watching this guy, and he was like a 40-year-old man, and all he would talk about like he'd get DMs from thousands of— this is going to sound more bizarre, but at the time, being a little kid, it wasn't. He'd get thousands of DMs from little kids, and like a fatherly way, he'd take like a— he'd take like an approach to like help you out and be like, hey, I'm, uh, I'm 15 and I want to have sex with my girlfriend or whatever, but like I'm scared of cumming really quickly. And then he'd like give you tips.

I—

it sounds really bizarre, and maybe it wasn't even like that, but that's how I took it because I was really young, right? And like he'd be like, well, something— he's like, I'd have the same problem, so something I do in my head is I like to count to 100 when I'm having sex. So I'm like kind of distracted. But like, those were my favorite. So he'd be playing video games, he'd be playing Call of Duty, and over the video game he'd be giving all these tips. Wow. And like, those were my favorite things to watch. He was great.

Really?

Yeah, he felt like he really helped me grow up. And I remember I was like watching this guy way before I had sex, so like every time I was like close to having sex, he would always pop into my head. I'm like, oh my God, I'm gonna have to count to 100 because I'm scared that, you know, I'm gonna end this thing too early. Um, but yeah, so yeah, definitely send in more and let us know because it's really exciting.

What do you— what do you do now to try not to orgasm?

Um, I actually— I actually— I just never orgasm. I think I have a different problem. I also got a text from Natalie about her mom's kidney stone, which— what does that even mean? I'm just looking through our text and I wake up and it says mom's kidney stone, which I assume is a note for the podcast. What is it?

Um, well, I was taking care of my— I was visiting my mom like a little while ago, and in the middle of the night— she was having like a stomachache all day— and then in the middle of the night at like 11 PM, she's like not feeling well. She goes to take a bath, and I'm like laying in the bed. We're sharing a bed. And then she doesn't come back. It's like midnight, and I was like, okay, I guess she's taking a really long bath. And then all of a sudden I hear her scream out in the like just in complete pain, or something had happened. And she was like screaming from the bathroom. It's not a very big home, so I could hear it like very loudly. And I woke up out of my sleep, and she was in the bathroom. Like, she couldn't— she couldn't get up. It was like— I mean, it was terrible. Like, you don't want to see like your parent like that.

Wait, she was on the ground?

She was like trying to get out of the tub to go to the toilet to like throw up.

Oh wait, where was the pain? Was this the kidney stone?

Yeah. So why was she trying to throw 'Cause she was in so much pain, her body— she wasn't able to actually throw up, but like, her— she just felt like she needed to throw up. Like, she was just in so much pain everywhere. It was just like, oh my God. And she was in so much pain she couldn't even get out of the tub. So I'm like trying to help her like out of the tub, which was crazy, and she couldn't move. So like for 2 hours it was like— it just— it comes and goes, the pain or whatever. And the hospital was like 30 minutes away, so so she couldn't get to the car quick enough for there to not be enough pain. I don't know if that makes sense. But anyway, by like 3 AM, she finally is able to move a little bit. And I walk her to the car. I take her to the hospital. And sure enough, it's kidney stones. And she's had them before, but never to this extent.

How do you get them? Is it from drinking too much soda?

I think it's like a buildup of calcium or something.

Like just too much milk? No, I just really want to avoid it.

I don't know. I don't know.

I know I'm worried I'll get it.

Do you get them when you're older?

Yeah.

Dude, kidney stones sound like fucking hell. Is it worse when you're a guy? I don't know why I just assume something coming out of a penis is tougher.

Probably.

Yeah, I mean, I think— oh my God, it fucking freaks me out.

Well, this like surgery for it too is like— she ends up having to get surgery.

What do you mean surgery for it? Natalie, shut the fuck up. What do you mean?

Oh, she couldn't pass it?

She couldn't pass it. I mean, yeah, it's terrible.

That's what she gets for not appreciating the Jeep.

The Bronco.

They have to like micro— that's funny.

She's getting surgery.

Uh, no, they have to microscopically— oh my God, let me finish.

The Lord struck her down. Oh my God, you should be grateful.

Well, you know what, that was actually— that happened the day that I purchased the Bronco secretly.

Oh really?

Wow.

And like, had— I like, David was gonna come.

We're referring to, to a story. Oh, no wonder she was in a piece where Natalie got her mom a Bronco, but Natalie's mom was pissed about the color.

Oh, so she had a kidney stone that morning?

So I was gonna surprise her that weekend. I ended up—

maybe she felt that you bought the wrong color. It's not black, it's baby blue.

Her body just started, just so repulsed, it made kidney Anyway, so we're in the hospital and we're waiting and whatever. And it's the hospital in our hometown. Okay. So it's not that big. And this guy comes in, one of the nurses to help.

Pictures of David all over the wall.

Go ahead.

This nurse comes in to help. And when he comes in, he looks at me and gives me a long stare where I'm like, do I know him from somewhere? I don't know. But we're obviously in the moment. My mom's crying in pain, whatever. It's not the time to interact with somebody.

I'm in love with you as your mom is pushing out kidney stones. Holy shit, you're sexy.

And like, and so my mom— shut up— my mom couldn't make it to the bathroom, so they had to bring her like a bedpan or whatever so you could like pee on the side of your bed.

And, um, sorry, I hate to cut you off again. Bedpan? Yeah, like one of those pink things. I feel like I've seen them.

It's a, it's like, it's a portable toilet. It's like, it's literally a bucket.

Did you watch her pee Yes.

So this is where it gets interesting.

If I have a kidney stone, Natalie, put a bullet in my head.

It's not that crazy. It sounds crazy. I won't be in the room with you if you got to pee.

Well, you have to. I'll be panicking if you're not. Okay, keep going.

So she is in her nightgown and she has to go to the bathroom. And so I'm trying to help her and she has one leg on the bed, one leg on the floor, squatting over this bedpan. To pee. And this nurse guy comes back in in the middle of her pain.

Oh my God.

And I was like, can you just give us like one moment? And he's like, oh yeah, no problem, whatever. She finishes, like, and then they take her off to get a scan to see where the kidney stone is and how far along it is. So, and then while she's gone for that like 30-minute scan, he comes back in the room and he goes, I know earlier wasn't the right time, but like, I just wanted to tell you I'm a really big fan. And I was like, this guy just saw me holding my mom over a fucking bedpan peeing with mother. It was like so funny. And I was also like, how old are you that you're like— I don't know, I just felt like— I feel like our, like, people that listen or watch—

well, now they're old. Yeah, I guess now everyone's like— now everyone is like baby doctor age. Yeah, yeah, yeah. For med school. That's when I had a doctor— I think I said this on the podcast— when like I walked in and I was gonna check out something on my butt. Yeah, remember I had that cyst on my ass?

Yes, we all remember.

I know, I made it a big deal. Anyway, Yeah, that's the same thing happened to me. The doctor had like a nurse who was like working. Yeah. Who was like learning and she was like 20-something. And I'm like, there's no fucking way. Like, I'm not showing her my asshole. Like, there's no way. So I was just like, yeah, something on my back. And you cut the— and then I had him cut off like, oh my God. Yeah, I had him cut off a mole on my back. Yeah, he's a dermatologist. So I like made up something new because I was like, I was like, I'm going to lose a piece of my skin over this. Like, I don't give a fuck. But she's not looking at my asshole. And like the second he's like, so Dave, why are you in here today? And I'm like, my back, this mole, I get a lot of sun. I don't want it to cause any problems.

I don't see anything back here.

No, it's there. Yeah, so then he removed it and that was it.

Your asshole is leaking though.

No, no, my asshole's fine. Yeah, that's the scariest when you have a doctor that like— Wait, well, there was another doctor. Doctor that came in here, I have like a house call doctor and like he'll send other doctors if he can't make it.

Yeah.

And I think I was getting like, I was just getting like everything done, like COVID test, um, just, oh, allergies. Yeah. I had, I was getting my blood work done cuz I was having bad allergies. I was like, what the fuck is this for? And he was like, he was a doctor that was feeling me up, right? Like doing the whole checkup process.

Yeah.

And then he asked me to send a video to his kids, which I thought was so strange. I think it's so strange.

Like, it's crazy.

I, I'll say it, it's unprofessional.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, yeah, especially like, yeah, like when you've just like seen me naked and you're like making me cough, you're holding my balls, like the whole process, and then you're like, can you just send a video of my kids? I'm just like, fuck. Like, it's hard for me to be like, yeah, but I always end up doing it. But I definitely feel strange. As long as I address it in the video with the kid, like, hey, your dad just groped me me. Um, I hope you're doing good. But yeah, Natalie, that sucks. I'm sorry for your mom and her kidney stones.

Yeah, I can't wait till the fridge end to hear this one. You know what, you guys, you know, first of all, I love my Bronco.

Other horrific news, how were you the 14 hours that TikTok disappeared?

Oh, it was so—

it was so wild. Really? It was so wild.

We were in Australia. Yeah. So like I was, yeah, I was fiending for TikTok like crazy.

Yeah.

Like, I don't know if you— do you use TikTok or do you?

I do.

Yeah.

I use it quite a bit.

Well, because I know you do TikTok Lives 16 hours a day. Yeah.

But I also scroll.

Yeah. Okay. So that must have felt like a little bit of a vacation for you.

Yeah.

Were you for a moment like, this is kind of low-key amazing?

I mean, I hadn't been going on live and then it got to be like 4 hours left and Naveen was like, you should go on and like say goodbye to everybody because that's probably it. And I was like, that's a really good idea. So I went on and I didn't battle anybody, but I just talked to everybody.

Damn, no battles.

And it was, and it was so fun. And it was like people were like crying and like, they're like, this was so fun, blah blah blah, and thanks for coming back. And I was like, thank you guys, thank you guys so much. Like, you guys did so much for me. You guys were there for me when like I fucking didn't have anything. You guys are the best. It's like really emotional. And then I got off and then it was done. And then And then it like went dark, and one of my favorite streamers, I was watching him, his name is James Neese, and he's streaming and he's like, and I'm watching it go down, 'cause Naveen's went down, and I'm like, I'm still in, I'm still in! And you could just see him in this stream bubble, and he was like, he's like, I'm here, guys, I'm here! Is anybody there?

That's so funny.

Is anybody? He's like, this is crazy, man.

Like Thanos snapping?

Yeah, he's like, yeah, and they all were dropping off one by one, turning into ash. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

All the streamers.

Yeah. And then send me a Galaxy. And, um, and so that was— it was like super Orwellian. It was just like, wow, this is crazy.

Yeah, TikTok was so funny during that period.

Yeah, TikTok was really funny. It also felt like the world went dark. Like, for me, as— this is gonna— this may make me sound like the biggest idiot of all time, but like, to me, it I was literally like, where am I gonna get any information from? Like anything, like I can't imagine, like what's a big world event? I don't know, fucking.

I would love to see your TikTok algorithm.

A nuke goes off in Oklahoma or something. I would not know unless my friend is texting me. Like for sure. Like it's not like I'm checking AOL news anymore. I don't get like news pings to my phone. I wouldn't know other than if I literally heard it from another human being. Like, for those 14 hours, I was literally like, nothing exists anymore. Like, really, I haven't felt a feeling like that since it— I mean, now that TikTok is like a part of my life, it's like so ingrained in everything. Like, TikTok is— and you realize how important it is. It's like, it decides culture. Like, it decides like, like, like everything about culture, like fashion, what songs to listen to, every singer that's blown up in the last 3 years. Years is all TikTok. You decide what movies to watch because of TikTok. You decide where to eat because of TikTok. What, like, Yelp isn't even a thing anymore. You go on TikTok to see what the best place is to, to, to stay at, and for like different hotels in different countries, for clubs to visit, like everything.

And that's why they wanted to take it down.

Yeah, yeah, right. I, I mean, I completely get it, but it literally felt like an EMP grenade went off and like all communications were lost and the world went dark and all I had was like text messages. I felt like my iPhone turned into like a Razr flip phone. I've never felt, now did you feel like that or am I being so fucking dramatic?

I'm not as avid of a TikTok user as you are.

Yes, I'm on there 6 to 7 hours a day just consuming, just eating shit up.

Really?

Yeah, yeah, and not throughout the day, but like at night I'm on there for at least 3 hours. Wow. And even when I open, which I now realized because it would not open for me, but like when I go check my messages, after I'm done checking my messages, I open TikTok do 3 swipes and then go back to like, like anytime I touch my phone, I look at TikTok before I turn my phone off. So even if it's for a couple seconds, like even though I'm sitting at a red light, I'll do that. And it's like, and those 3 swipes for some reason like make me feel like I'm kept in the loop. Like is anything new trending? Is anything like, is the world falling apart again? What's going on?

You have like a little stimulation. I honestly was kind of curious like to see how things would go down if it was banned for a little bit longer. Like, 'cause then I, 'cause I feel like it was like what, like 12 hours as it was gone. Yeah, it was like not actually nothing. Yeah, it kind of made everyone that— like, no offense, your goodbye was sweet, but everyone that like made this whole big goodbye and spilling secrets and stuff, I was like, oh, that was kind of like a waste.

Yeah, I made it kind of—

yeah, just in case.

It is real selfish to be like, I wish it lasted like a week just to see. But like, but like, you really can't make that platform grow. Like, so many people make so much money on that platform. It's just like, I agree, like, all like, it literally powers like the —world.

Yeah, it's crazy.

It powers the entire world. And it's—

but it was, it was kind of nice that night not thinking about it.

The Australian TikTok, therefore the Australian girls, they're so funny. The For You page was like, wow, I didn't realize how loud they were. Like, it's like having that secret group chat outside the main group.

Yeah, everybody was saying like, it feels like all the popular kids like just left school for the day and it's just us. Like, that's what all— like, oh, because TikTok's still around for everywhere else in the world.

So it's all the Australians went to the top of the page because there were no Americans?

Yeah, everybody went to the top of the bridge.

Yeah, I got you, I got you.

And all the jokes were like, is it really just us? Yeah, it literally— it felt like Thanos snapped and got rid of half of the world. Yeah. And yeah, no, it was a pretty crazy thing. I mean, I'm glad it's back. I, I really think it's gonna stay forever. Yeah.

Oh my gosh. Yeah, like 4 AM our last night in Sydney, I don't know how this idea came about, but like David decided that he was gonna make a new TikTok account. Did you see it? David Dobrik Slovakia?

No, no, you didn't see it? No, no, I saw the Instagram reel, him talking.

Basically, yeah, it's basically it.

So he made his own Slovakian TikTok?

Yeah, you know, cuz I'm a Slovak, so I do have access to TikTok.

How many videos you got up there now? I have 2. Nice.

Um, I just hit 100K followers.

Did you really?

Yeah, on David Slovak Dobrik. It's amazing. I'm really, I'm really happy, dude. I fucking— so basically it's me speaking in Slovak.

So that's why they wanted TikTok around.

Yeah, well, no, I was kind of excited. I was like, if it's gone, I'm just going to go full European. Yeah, like, I'm like, Natalie, try to get us a brand deal, even if it's like $100. But like, I want to like promote like Tesco or something that's like just in Europe. I thought that'd be fun. Um, but, but, uh, yeah, it's basically just a TikTok of me speaking in Slovak. But I was like, dude, my parents are going to fucking jizz when I speak— my parents have— my parents have been trying to get me to speak in Slovak for so long. You have— you have 128,000 views on this. They were so excited. My dad's sending me new, like, traditional outfits to wear. He's like, wear this, wear this outfit for your next TikTok. We brought that hat just in case. Yeah, I still have the hat. No, but they're really excited about it. That's awesome. But, and so many Slovak people reached out, like, super excited about it.

There's a lot of, like, Slovakian, uh, influencers that commented on this. Really?

A lot of my comments in Slovak.

Yeah, you can keep doing it. Do you have ideas?

I don't have ideas. Party.

Send them— have them send you candy.

I'm fresh out, but just trying.

Have your family send you candy.

I want to do American trends, but just like in Slovak, I think. Just give me an example. Um, like, just like what's in my purse, but I'm speaking in Slovak the entire time. Or just like, you know, a day in my life.

Your Slovak was pretty good. I mean, not that I know Slovak, but thank you.

It seems like it was like—

I was like pretty impressed.

I was like, oh, like a day in my life. Yeah, you know, I do want to lean into like the more farming side of Slovakia, like where I wake up and I'm like milking a cow, like Obviously it's not what everybody in Slovakia is like, but like, yeah, you know, that is very much a big— like, that's how my family is, I guess, back in my hometown.

Maybe you could move there and be president.

I thought about that. Not about being president. I told my— I told Natalie, I'm like, Natalie, if this fucking— if this works, I am going back to Slovakia. Just going to— just going to be a little Slovak influencer for like a year. Just chill. That sounds like really fun. And I would really brush up on my, my languages. But I'm starting my new page for my Hungarian followers. So guys, please be on the lookout. Out for that. I know there was a couple Hungarians in the comments saying, will you say anything in Hungarian? And that is coming, my friends. All right guys, that's all the time we have for today's podcast. Thank you guys for listening. This has been a views podcast. I had a blast. Thank you to Jason Nash, my co-host, Natalie Maradwena, my best friend from my hometown, and Ilya, my super best friend, and Bella, Natalie's sister, who hooked up with Natalie's lover. Thank you guys for listening to this podcast. See you guys soon.