Why My Assistant Quit

What's up guys, welcome back to Views, the podcast where today we're going to debunk one of the oldest tales. Did Jason have sex with somebody, specifically a male, in this New York hotel room?

What?

It's a long story and I'll explain. Let's roll the intro music. So Natalie and Ella, bro, I love this.

You're doing like hard-hitting news right now.

I don't give a fuck about anything anymore. Okay, I'm ready to report on anything and This is what the people wanna know currently.

Has this been in your mind for many years?

6 years.

Really?

Well, this is what happened about, when did the story first come up?

The story came up from like, it's probably 8 years old when it happened and then—

So you admit it, it happened.

Wait, so it's real? What's happening?

So here's what happened. I don't know how it came up or how it came on my radar, but someone once came up to me and I don't know why they made this a big deal, but they were like, you know Jason's gay, right? And I was like—

No, no they did not.

And I was like, Oh yeah, I guess I could see that. And, and they were like, no, no, no, totally. Like, I had a friend, they were all hanging out in New York, and at about 2 a.m. they went into their own hotel rooms, except Jason entered a hotel room with another man and he spent the entire night there. And what's interesting about this story, normally I wouldn't like— I wouldn't, I wouldn't report on this. There's other things to be reporting on. But why I am reporting on it is because Every time this story is brought up, no matter where we're at, like even if it's just friends hanging out, Jason gets so extremely weirdly like—

I don't get defensive.

Really weirdly defensive. Like you could, you could make jokes about Wyatt like being sold, um, to—

sorry, we get the point.

Yeah, the point is you can make jokes about anything with Jason and he's so game for it. But when you talk about this New York night he had with this man, He gets like fucking fired up and he goes, "I didn't fucking do that! I don't know why someone would make that up about me and I don't know if someone does—" Here's why it's fucked up.

Okay. Here's why it's fucked up. Because number one, it is my best friend from college.

And that's who it would be that you would fuck for the first time.

Yes, it is my best friend from college and the fact that somebody who will go nameless, I know who this person is.

So the person you went into the hotel room, it is confirmed, that part of the story is true, you went with another guy.

100%, I went with My buddy stayed in my hotel room because he was too lazy to take the train back to New Jersey.

So why did someone think that you guys had sex?

Because this person is a horrible person to go around saying Jason's gay because I saw— or nothing. It matters if I'm gay, like 100%. Like, I love backpedaling. No, I like— I would love it if I was gay. If I was gay, I would say it. Okay, chill. But I think it's really fucked. Is it not fucked up for someone to be like, yeah, I saw Jason with another dude, he's gay, and to tell David that?

Well, what if you were gay and he outed you? That's even more fucked up.

Oh, is that what it is? Like, you want to come out at your own speed? Because then— oh my God, I wasn't even trying to make a joke. I'm being serious.

Like, yeah, maybe based on time.

Because why on earth are you like so defensive about it? Like, even if it didn't happen, like, the way you react, it's like you're fucking like really offended. And I'm just like, dude, chill. Like, it's not a big deal.

Okay, well, I'm ready to call the friend right now.

Well, actually, it's funny you say that because we have him on the phone.

Oh, you do?

Well, because you handed me your phone right before this. Um, so there is I'm gonna call his friend now to get the details of the story if they had sex that night. What year was it, just so I know?

It was probably like 20— it's before I met you.

That was the 2015. 2015.

Yeah, this guy, it was literally like Vine days.

Yeah, so 2015, you fucked him? Yeah, you blew his back out?

No, we literally ate chocolates and like got high.

Fuck it, that's disgusting. I don't want to know the details.

I think maybe because this person was like younger and I was like So it was a girl that made it up about you?

Yeah. Okay. Okay.

Yeah.

Oh, maybe she was into you.

No, she wasn't into me at all. Oh, interesting. No, she was just like—

story is so beyond confusing. I'm still like stuck on, is it a gag or is it not?

No, no, it's not a gag. Not a gag at all. Real. Like, this is like, we were talking about it now because someone brought up in the hot tub the other day and he got so offended and then I like kind of snapped at him. I was like, dude, what the fuck's wrong with you? Like, why are you getting offended or like weirded out by the story? Like, Who cares if you slept with a guy in a hotel room? Like, right?

And like, who cares if someone's saying that you did?

Like, right, exactly.

Here's the problem. I work with you, right? So if I wasn't open to you about like who I was up to that point, so it made me kind of like, well, that's fucked up. Like, now David probably thinks I'm like lying about something or some part of myself, which I wasn't. Okay, that's all it is.

How about we let him do the talking?

Yeah, listen, and I want— I want your 100% opinion at the end of this if you think I'm lying and you think he's lying.

Okay, here we go. Any complete silence for this? I don't want him to know that you're in the room even though I'm calling off your phone.

Okay, with a microphone in your hand. It's David.

Hey, how are you, David? Good, good.

Um, we're here with Jason, who you may know very well because we're about— we've heard this story about you two and it's been kind of circulating in our friend group for the last 4 or 5 years, and we need to confirm whether or not it's true or not. Do you have any idea of what I could possibly be talking about?

Well, there's probably many stories I can think of, but does it happen to be one that might have taken place in New York City?

Yes, yes, that is— that's it. So, so every time the story is brought up, Jason denies it completely and with like rage. Just for the record, and be as honest as you possibly can be, What happened that beautiful warm night in New York City?

Oh, I remember it well.

This guy's nighttime, there's no way.

This is so—

Nash was in town and I was working in the city, and whenever Nash is in town and I have a chance to meet up with them, I would, because we would hang out and walk around. And I think he was doing Vines back then, so I was kind of— I didn't even know what that was, but it was a good introduction to it. And then I think it got late.

It got late.

And you know Nash, he always treated himself to a nice hotel. Um, so I think it was up on 57th Street or something like that. And I'm always up for, you know, a free place to stay. Okay, so He invited me up and we hung. I think we even went to the bar.

Yeah, yeah, you did leave the bar and then go to your room.

Yep, yep, that's right, that's right. And I think I still have a picture of that night on my computer somewhere.

Okay, we're gonna put that picture up right now and maybe blur it out for explicit reasons.

Um, it's two guys in dominatrix masks.

Okay, so you guys So you got to the hotel room. Yes. What time is it at this point?

Oh, it's probably 10 o'clock or something like that.

Yeah, I thought it was like really late.

But you know, I hate to disappoint you with whatever your fantasy may be. Nothing happened that night. Two buddies hung out, did sleep in the same bed, but of course nothing happened.

Nashville.

You sound so fucking guilty. You are not helping the cause, dude.

You sound so fucking guilty. We can see right through this.

He's talking so slowly.

The truth is he loves free shit. He loves it. He loves any idea, any chance to like stay somewhere for free or get something for free. And the idea of him to like stay in a hotel room for free turned him on. Yeah, and that is the truth.

Well, yeah, it sounds like you guys have talked about this before. Yeah, some girl was going around saying that you guys slept together in this New York hotel room.

No, I remember, I remember there was a girl there. I don't know who she was. Did you know her from before, Nash?

Yeah, yeah, I know who she is. Oh, okay. But she walked up to David and was like, yo, Jason went and hooked up with this guy at this hotel in New York. Did you know that Jason's gay? Oh, okay.

So that's what, that's what started this whole thing.

And I think, I think what makes me mad about it is kind of like It was because we were both like 40. And in my mind, I'm like, when we were in college, like, we would totally do that. Like, yeah, let's split a hotel room. And, and I think that's what, like, made me mad about it. Okay.

Because I was like, I think college, you split a hotel room. Yeah.

And have a blast. Like, he's like, he's like Ilya to me.

Like, you don't know what I do.

I'm trying to compare him to people. He's like, he's like really a groovy guy, like on a different level guy. Like, you hear, by the way, like he's the kind of guy that would come into the hotel room and like, look at the towels and be like, yo, Nash, check out the thread count on these towels. Yeah. And you'd be like, all right, yeah, let's check them out.

And you'd spend, you know, 5, 6 minutes being like, you know, you're fucking in the bath. All right, we'll see you soon.

I'll see you at the bath. I mean, I'll see you. Bye.

Bullshit.

All right, fuck it. I mean, he seemed pretty sincere.

You do the gayest stuff with Ilia, and I can't believe—

but I admit to it. Oh, okay. I don't care. I'd fucking tell you if I sucked off a dude in a hotel.

And I would too.

Like, who cares?

Yeah, who cares?

Jason would tell you, though. You know that.

What do you think? I actually—

But is this one of those things?

Well, let's take a vote.

Who thinks that?

Who thinks that I had gay sex with that night?

I'm going to go no.

I'm like, I know.

I would also say you'd all be wrong.

Bamboozled.

I wish, I wish I could say that with confidence, but guys, Ella is here.

Um, you may know her because she used to work here.

Um, Ella got let go because, uh, I'd love to know actually, because I don't know what happened.

Honestly, budget cuts. No, there wasn't like a real reason. We just like— we— okay, well, what happened is, first of all, let me debunk this. I didn't hire Ella because she looked like somebody I once dated. I want to get— I want to get— I want to clean the air with that.

Are you sure? Maybe.

I'd be very offended, to be honest, if that's true.

I didn't say— I didn't say a word to Ella. I was like, wow, she's very pretty. Um, no. So why you got let go? You didn't even get let go. Like, let's be honest. We're just saying that just because it like maybe it'll make for good, good, good titles. But what happened is we hired Ella and we were doing this like we were going to do like an agency. Like, that sounds fucking so dumb. Like thinking about it. Well, it's not dumb, but it's so much work and like, I don't think people realize, but like this team, like the team you're looking at currently, excluding Ella, because I don't want to put you in this, is really bad at like business.

Like, we're not good at like, well, our leader is really, you know, the captain of our ship sitting at the big fucking desk.

Taylor's not here right now, but yes, our leader. No, no, no, no. Okay. Yeah, it's definitely my fault. I'm not like a business-oriented person at all. And that's why I think it's so funny. Like, like we just do things that— this is also a thing about like the internet and about like, like entertainment in general is like when you're doing things and you're doing good at them, opportunities just kind of come to you. All you need is to hire people to catch those opportunities because sometimes there'll be too many. So like, I think it's so funny, like, you know, there was times where we were doing like 6 things at once and everyone, you know, I would see comments like, David's a fucking business mogul. And I'd be like, no, I'm just like, I'm having Natalie respond to emails. Like, it was like, it's so crazy how easy it is to do things when you're killing it. It's so easy. Like, it's like, so it's like, and, and, you know, there's definitely moments where, like, influencers will, like, spend a lot of time on things or, like, actors will spend a lot of time on things. But, like, I would say 80% of the time when, like, an actor comes out with, like, a tequila and they, like, make the Instagram caption, like, I've been working on this for 2 years and I'm finally here. That's not true. Their team has been working on it.

They had a meeting 2 years ago about it. They had a meeting one more, and then it came out. Yeah.

And the actor or celebrity went, Let's do it. And then 2 years later they came back to where the meeting was and the product was there. That's not true in all cases, but like, it is very easy to do that. But I don't want to— people that make their own tequila, definitely there are definitely people that like put time into it. But we talked about this before, like, I know influencers that have books that have never even read the books. They have no fucking idea what's in them. They didn't write them and they didn't read them. But yeah, it is, it is simple to do that kind of stuff, but we're really bad at like just like, I don't know, I don't like doing things that aren't fun. And then if I don't find them fun, like, we can't like do it.

Yeah, you turn down everything. I don't know, all kinds of stuff that we want to do. We can't even get you in here.

Yeah, it's just, it's tough to not do in a job that's supposed to be all fun. It's— I kind of sound like an idiot because it's like, well, a lot of us work and we hate our fucking jobs. Yeah, but like, I don't know, I think like that's like That's, you know, that's what they say when you're a kid, like, find a job that you love. And I like, I want to make sure I never, like, end up doing something. I'm like, why am I doing this? I don't care for this, right? Yeah. But everything that I have done so far, I actually really enjoyed. Like, the perfume, like, maybe came out of left field, but like, I love doing it. Oh, and it's right here too. Let me give it a quick plug. David's perfume. Go buy it now for Valentine's Day. No, but I love, like, the perfume. Like, I loved it because I loved wearing cologne and I really wanted to make a perfume commercial. It wasn't necessarily because I wanted to dominate the perfume market.

And you're particular about smells.

I'm super particular about smells. Smiles, even though I smell horrible right now. Um, but, um, but yeah.

What's your favorite thing, uh, working with Dave?

It's a hard question. Why'd you look at me like that?

Would she like eye you up and down?

She's like, yeah, we'll cut that, we'll cut that out on the edit. Have a smile right away.

Now they look like she's gonna kill him today.

I love the most was this, the pod.

Oh God, Ella built this. Ella built the studio.

Did a really good job.

She did a really good job.

And then We didn't do it.

So, so, and then we didn't do it. So yeah, we hired Ella to come like start our like production agency or whatever. And I don't know what— dude, we were so fucking—

no, no, no. Let me tell you the story of what happened. Yeah, because I get whatever. Everything happened, right?

Oh, hold on. We met Ella in New York. We were doing like a merch pop-up and she was great. And I was always like, if we ever need somebody like Ella as a person to hire, like, I really got along with her and I really liked her. And I was like, let's hire her. And then I fucked up.

No, you didn't fuck up. But I got a call and they were like, hey, do you want to come? Or no, you had asked me one time before to come out here and work. Yeah. And it was for a different position. I think it was for Taylor. Yeah, it was before Tay. And I had a job and I was like, I always said I didn't want to move to L.A. and I was like, no, I don't know. But if anything else comes up, like, let me know. Then you guys call me like 2 months later And I remember talking to Nat and she was like, yeah, like we're doing all this stuff, like we need more help, like on Natalie's end and like what she's doing and the production stuff. And I was like, just got laid off because of COVID I was like in my apartment, I was like, fuck it, let's go. And I'm like, so my lease is up in like a month and a half.

And David's like, mind you, she's from New York and she loves New York. So this isn't like just like switching jobs, this is like moving cities to a city that I did not want to move to.

Yeah, I've always said I want to—

again, we are sorry.

And David goes, I'm like, okay, well my lease is up in like a month and a half, like I can be there. And he's like, No, no, can you come in 2 weeks? And I was like, what? I had to move my full life. I'd lived in New York for 7 years. Everything I owned, I sold everything. I was like, I was crying. You lived in Scott's, um, and then I moved here. I lived in Scott's back house for like a couple weeks because I moved here and I was like, I don't have an apartment. I didn't want to like get scammed off Craigslist online while I was in New York. And then I moved here and the best thing, Natalie— well Not to— not—

oh God, what did I do?

Thank God, Natalie. When I— I texted them, I was all excited. I land at LAX. Oh yeah, I'm like, hey, I'm here. And she's like, oh shit, she forgot. And she's like, I'll be there in 30 minutes. Oh no. Oh my God. So I just stood at LAX like outside the parking lot like 5 fucking bags. And I was like, okay, no worries.

Oh my God, I'm sorry, Ella.

And then I arrived, we go straight to David's. I like say hi. David's— I remember, so you're filming some weird thing outside.

It's like TikTok with, uh, I was hitting Ilya with tennis balls. Yes, exactly.

So it was a great moment to walk in. And then I like go to Scott's, leave my stuff, and I come back and there's a big meeting. It's David, Ilya, Megan, Jack, like whole DDT.

Oh yeah, this is so funny.

And they're like, day, day.

Wait, wait, you have to tell people, we hired— we we wanted you to come out to work for this production company, right?

Because you guys wanted to start—

not a production company, an agency.

It was like an agency, and you guys were like, we need help starting this agency. Like, Natalie was going to be really busy with it, so like you needed help on the other end.

So we could send brand deals to creators and like talk to creators.

This was very much so like a COVID idea. We were sitting bored as fuck in the house, like, we're going to start an agency.

You know, like the beginning of COVID everyone was like, what the fuck do I do with my life? So we were like, agency, agency.

Like, you walk in, there's like a big whiteboard with just like a bunch of crap that made absolutely no sense, and they're like This is the name. And I'm like, so what is the company? I don't know, but this is the name.

They always spend fucking 2 weeks on the name. Oh yeah. And then when we got to the name, that's when you landed and we were like, okay, we have the name. Okay.

And then we have the name. And then I arrive and then they're in this meeting and I'm like sitting, you know, in my old house, like I was sitting at the bar stools. They're all sitting on the couch and I'm just like really nervous. My first day and they're talking and like they're talking for like an hour or so. It's like getting really intense. And like Megan is talking about the agency, she's like, I don't think this is a good idea. They're like, oh, I don't know, I don't know. By the end of the meeting, we're not doing the company anymore. Yes.

No, no, no. So, okay, you left out the best part. Me and, uh, me and Ilya were gonna like— oh yeah, kind of head it because Ilya just moved out too. So Ilya was looking for stuff to do as well. Um, I just like moving people out for no reason. No reason. Um, so Ilya was looking for stuff to do, and then we had this meeting with Megan, and I was like I was starting to like rethink the whole thing. I was like, oh, this sounds like a lot of work that like I don't want to do. So like, I, I, I was like, Ilya, can I talk to you in the backyard?

Oh yeah, I remember that. And you guys walked around the house like half an hour.

Yeah, we went outside. No, it was actually a lot— it was a lot quicker. It was like 3 minutes. And I, and I, I took, I took Ilya to the backyard and I'm like, yo, don't kill me, but I don't want to do this. And he goes, dude, deadass, I was thinking the same thing. He goes, I don't want to do this shit either. And I'm like, okay, great. What the fuck do we do about Ella?

So they walk back in and they're like, yeah, we're not going to do that. And I'm standing there and I'm just like, just transported. And I remember I went back to Scott's because that's where I was staying. And I like sat in the bed and I like called my dad and I was like, so, um, I don't really know what I'm going to do here.

It was bad, but at least, at least she got laid off at the other job. Yeah, yeah.

No, it was—

it ended up being fine. Yeah, but it was just a very intense situation to walk into and then know nothing about what I was going to fucking do.

Yeah, it was. It was a lot.

So I'm sorry for another note on that company, just because I think it's really funny is that you guys also preemptively DM'd about 150 brands, dude. Yes.

My every— if you're a brand, like if you're like a 23-year-old that works at a brand, check your DMs because around this time— when was it, like July? I don't know when it was. May 2020.

May 2020.

I sent out, I'm not kidding you, 150 DMs to everyone from McDonald's to JCPenney. Like, everybody got DMs from me like, I'm starting an agency, would you like to? And we actually got on like 6 calls.

Yeah, I know. We talked to a bunch of different brands that were interested and then they followed up with like, what's your proposal? What are you going to do for us? And we're like, we've dismembered the company.

We don't know. Yeah, yeah.

No, we were getting good feedback and like, people were excited. Yeah. Like, people wanted to, like, leave their jobs to come work.

Like, yeah, like we were talking to, like, other, like, You know, there's another agency that you guys were talking about.

Yeah, we're talking another agency, and she was just like, I would love to come quit and work for you guys. And we're like, uh, yeah, quit now.

I was like standing in the back, don't do it, don't do it, quit now.

It's everybody here doesn't have a job anymore.

So then what happened?

So then I stayed, and, uh, then we just kind of had to figure it out.

Yeah, we just got to figure it out. And it was weird too because David wasn't even posting. Yeah, right. So it wasn't even that busy. So it's even weirder because I just come to the house and it was COVID and it was COVID. And at the beginning it was COVID.

I didn't even see you during COVID and I would just come maybe for the podcast. Yeah, yeah.

And it got, and it got confusing too because now there's 3 assistants. Yeah. And it's like, who does what? We had no idea. So I was just like, like I would, I would just group chat them and then they were like, well, who picks this one up? Who does this?

It was very confusing.

It was a mess. It wasn't like— yeah, it was just a disaster. But Ella is great. I will say, one of my favorite people. No, hands down, Ella's a serious good hire. Um, just make sure you know what company it is before you, uh, approach her.

Just give me a bit of a role or something before I take it.

What is with you and Ilya? It's unreal.

I know, I'm sorry. How do you guys— Natalie gets mad at that too. Like, Natalie got mad at that because Ilya flew out and, and it was—

I was so— I was pissed. I was pissed.

Like, did you still want to do it?

I was down to do the agency.

Yeah, I think Natalie was the person who would probably be the best at it.

That was the thing. He wanted to give Ilya a job, and it was a job that Ilya was totally incapable of actually doing.

He doesn't even know.

He had no idea, like, what a brand deal is.

You gotta make a deck. He's like, what's a deck?

I mean, he would—

I cleaned the deck already.

What are you talking about? Uh, yeah, Natalie was like so much more equipped for the job. Yeah, yeah, you know, I'm on my fucking knees for Ilya like half the time, so like I was just like Whatever.

Why do you guys do that?

You guys like, you're like, yeah, we're gonna do this.

They're like, yeah, maybe not. Like, that's literally all the time.

I'm gonna drive the car faster.

No, I'm gonna drive the car faster.

And then you're like, yeah, take it back, that's not true.

Oh my God, it's 100% true in fucking everything. You're like, I can run faster. No, I can run faster.

Oh, that shit's true.

Yeah, it's the same mentality of like, let's start an agency, and then you go out in the fucking back deck and you're like, yeah, we're both pussies. Okay.

Yeah, but that used to be the case. Before, right?

But you're better at it now.

Like, now Ilia will still be like, let's start this, let's start this. And like, now I've gotten more realistic about things and now I know what I want, what I don't want. But like, yeah, there was definitely a moment where it was just like, I was also like so scared because Ilia also left his job. Yeah, I was like, we got to fucking find him. Like, whatever. Like, we'll let go of Natalie and you'll be the assistant. Like, whatever, whatever needs to happen.

Literally, he was like about to give me the boot.

No, I was not.

I would never. What the fuck?

No, I'm totally kidding. But terrible.

Other ideas you turned down?

Yeah, I used to get like I'm not going to say the company's names, but like there used to be like— there's, there's a company that, um, that is now worth like a billion, $2 billion, and they were, they were asking me to like join, and like I would have received like 5-10% of the company because it was so early. And I didn't see— I didn't understand investments at the time, and I was just like, why the fuck would I invest in any? Why would I give you my money? Like that, I know. It's just I don't understand investments, but I'm so easy to invest now. Right. Natalie goes, you should do it. And I go, okay, send them. But like at the time I didn't. And like they just wanted me to onboard onto this app and now it's worth, you know, a lot of money. And I don't even regret it because like, like I just, I knew I didn't want to at the time. A little bit. I regret it. No, I definitely regret it. But, but yeah, there's definitely a lot of investment opportunities that I passed up on.

We were going to make David Dobrik action figures at one point. No way. Yeah. But David, David was not down for it. They're like collectible kind of like doll action figures.

Let me tell you how bad we are at business. We were gonna do this, um, actually Jimmy just did it, MrBeast. We're gonna do this golden ticket idea. Yeah, uh, where with chocolate bars and you open it. I mean, it's, it's a Willy Wonka idea, right? I'm sure a lot of people have thought about doing it, um, but we're gonna do it about 3, 4 years ago and we went into a meeting with Fucking candy factory. And they looked at us during the meeting and they go, it's just going to be tough because chocolate will melt by the time it gets to people's homes. And I was so confused by what they said. I was like, and I text my manager after we left the meeting and I was like, can you just like text them again? Because like, I've been to the store and I felt a Hershey's. It's not all gooey when it's there. But like, that was enough to direct— that was enough to derail us. Yeah, like, that was enough for us to go, fuck, I mean, it's going to melt. I mean, we do want to launch in the summertime, so like, there is a possibility this shit will come out like soup. So like, it's little things like that where we were just like, fuck it. Like, we're just so bad at business.

If we're met with like adversity, it's like, it's tough to get through it.

So funny.

I would take that out.

That sounds so I'm telling you, like, well, everything, everything we've done was a fucking caveman can do. The things we do well, and I'll give us credit, and Natalie does a great job, and I'm not saying she's a caveman, but like, we got to make really fun videos. Yeah. And like, I had a— I have a really good group of friends that I got to make those videos with and still do. And that's what worked so well that it made everything so fucking easy. I went to go work out with him 2 days ago. Yeah, on accident. I know I ended up there, but it was like what, it was like 8 or 9 in the morning.

And I can honestly say, maybe Ilya got you up at 8 in the morning and got you to the gym.

No, no, I went to go shoot. We went to go tour the one which is a really big house, right? And the gym was right next door and I felt bad that I took Zane Heath and Ilya out of their time, so I didn't want to be dropped off at home, so I went to work out with them. Um, and I did everything that they were doing, like they walked me through it, like I was doing the sets and stuff. Um, it was the worst time of my life. I mean, Jay, so, so, so horrible. I can't even explain it. And, and this is, this is no longer David jealousy speaking of like I'm jealous of like the people in there that look really good. I just didn't get it at all. It felt like I was on Mars. I was like, what are you people doing?

Like, what were they doing? Like curls? Yeah, bench press.

It was like weird shit.

And I was like, what? Like what?

Lifting shit. Like, it's like, I know it sounds dumb, but there's no, like, it's not like playing pong or tennis or basketball where you're like, there's an objective and there's like an opponent. You're just like, you're staring at the mirror and like, and like you're fucking lifting weight. You're staring at the mirror and you're going, You are your own, and then you go again. Hold on.

You are your own opponent.

Yes, you are. Why is that so fucking— okay, timeout. What Ilya is about to argue is completely right, right? Like, so many people love to work out, so he must not be crazy, right? But I see it as crazy, so I'm just arguing the opposite side. People that work out, fucking good for you. I wish I had that in me, but I genuinely don't get a rush from— not at all. And I told Ilya, I'm like, Ilya, I'm I'm falling asleep. And he's like, that's because you're not pumping hard enough. And he's like, once you start pumping hard, your fucking heart starts working hard. And I was like, dude, why are you— why is your crotch in my face right now? Um, he gets really into it. Yeah, which is cool. Like, it is his passion. Make noises. I just don't like it. And I feel like— I feel like it's so hard for me to wrap my head around the fact that people do like it. Like, I want to— I want to grab them and be like, hey, let's get out of here and take a nap. Like, let's get— it's so early. Like, let's grab breakfast. Maybe I'll come around to it. I'm really hoping—

what about when you take runs? Don't you like that? Don't you like the runner's high?

I do not get a runner's high. I promise you, dude. I don't know how to— you must.

No, you get a tennis high. You have a really good game of tennis. Tennis high.

I love tennis. Tennis makes me feel so good. When I walk off the court, I feel so good, like in my little sweaty, like outfit, my tight little pants. Oh my God, I feel good after tennis. Like, it's like a sport. Like, I'm like doing something. Like, right, like I'm doing something against somebody. All right, thank you everybody that came and listened to the podcast. Thank you, Ella, for joining us, one of our older employees. It's been really nice. This reunion was amazing in the studio you built. Thank you.

I'm so glad to be back.

Thank you for being—

for the day. Thank you for being here.

Are you joining the group? Maybe.

Maybe. We'll see. Are you employed currently? Oh, yeah, you are. You said.

But I just wanted to point out that we talked about a lot, but they still think I got fired. So I just want to clear up that I did not get fired.

Did not get fired. She got promoted. Correct. Okay. We'll see you guys soon. This has been a Views podcast. My name is Jeff. Bye-bye.