Jason's Brand New Girlfriend

What's up guys, welcome back to Views, the podcast where Jason builds a house of cards while we do the podcast.

Quiet, Damon, don't, don't move. No, no.

Wow, these intros are getting really elaborate. I roll intro music.

Guinness Book of World Records House of Cards intro music.

$6,000. Why isn't the guy rolling the intro music? What's up guys, welcome back to the podcast. I'm Jason.

Oh shit, I'm Javid. Damn it, I'm Javid.

No, fuck no, this voice you're listening to, this crispy smooth voice, is not Jason, it's David Dobrik. I'm the young one of the group.

I also fairly young.

Jason's 45.

Ask me how old I am.

How old are you?

Me? Yeah, I'm 19.

Oh, you don't look 19. Yeah, you got pretty wrinkly skin for a 19-year-old, dude.

I was in the war.

You were in the war?

Yeah.

What age did you go to war?

The '60s?

The what?

The War of the Sexes.

What does that mean?

During the '70s. Shit, I just gave myself away.

World War I. Jason, that was a— guys, so we just got back from the big game.

The big game, guys. We were at the— you can't— there was a big game on Sunday, but since David and I were being paid to be at the big game, we're not allowed to say the phrase big game. This is a common thing in in, in, uh, in— no, we're like brand deals, right? We're allowed to say the phrase big game, but if you're, if you're working, uh, in advertising, if you, if your company, dude, does not have exclusive rights to this game, be it a big baseball game or a big football game—

Jason, we're allowed to, we're allowed to say big game.

What?

We're allowed to say—

yeah, I know.

I'm sorry, we're just not allowed to say the, the, the other word.

I know, and I think it's just so funny how all weekend long we were like, you know, so guys, you want to— guys, you ready for the big game?

There is a big game. There were people playing against each other. I don't even think we're allowed to use the word teams, but we can't even say the teams that played. We can't say the teams.

I'll give you a hint, though. It was on Sunday.

Okay.

The guys had helmets on.

Yes.

And tight pants.

Perfect.

One of the teams was from the East Coast. No warmer.

Damn it.

Close.

One of the teams from the East Coast.

And the other team was from the East Coast.

Yeah. And Jason's from one of the places.

I'm from one of the places, but we don't want to get, you know, any kind of lawsuit or anything.

And they were playing some kind of a sport. We're not allowed to say what it was or anything, but we went to the big game. Bottom line.

And it was— the game was big. Do you know what I mean? Yeah, it was an important game.

It was a good game.

There's a lot on the line. And it was a big game.

We at the big game, guys, I really hope at this point you know what we're talking about or else you're going to be really confused. We genuinely aren't allowed to say the other word for it. But, but we got, we got really good seats. Like, we got seats inside a box. And we looked it up online. They're like, it's like a $400,000 to get a box.

Yeah.

Yeah. It's not— so it was like, I don't know, $20,000, $30,000 ticket a person. So great seats. So we got hooked up for those.

Did you like the game? Did you like the big game?

I loved it. Um, this is unrelated, or maybe it's related. Um, the Eagles ended up winning, um, the big game.

Yeah, yeah, the Eagles won the big game in Philadelphia.

There were a bunch of riots, which— this is so difficult to talk around it without fucking up, but there are a bunch of riots and you saw everything. It's funny, in Chicago, like, you know, when someone wins some kind of a sporting event, like when some team wins the World Series, for some reason it's customary to destroy your own city. Yeah, which is kind of— I guess it's kind of cool, right? It is. It doesn't make sense. But it makes sense. Like, it's kind of—

you think the losing team would destroy the city? Yeah, they'd be angry. Yeah.

From now on, if you lose a big game, you have to go and destroy all the shops in your city. Yeah, that's funny. It's the team that wins destroys your city. Um, and it's to the point where it's, it's getting kind of dangerous.

Yeah.

I mean, there's, there's— I was watching videos, there's people eating horseshit off the ground. Did you see that video?

No.

There was a guy who is like being egged on by all his friends and he just— there's horseshit on the ground.

You mean your videos?

Yeah, my vlog. I wish I was there.

I did that.

He put his face in horseshit and ate it. He did.

That doesn't sound too awful. I mean, it doesn't sound like it's destroying the city. You're just saying separately.

Oh no, but then he, but then he lit a hospital on fire. No, but it is, it is kind of crazy, I guess.

I think it was ridiculous that they gave Justin Timberlake such hell at the big game.

They gave Justin Timberlake—

what do people want? I saw this woman—

Justin Timberlake was the halftime show.

And I turned on Good Morning America the next day, and, and the woman— they throw this over, they go, what did you think, Carol? Carol's like, I don't know, it didn't, it didn't really do it for me. Wow, you, Carol, didn't do it for you?

You imagine that shit? Like, after I post a vlog, there's people being interviewed about it, and they're just like, It wasn't that good. Yeah, that would destroy me.

But he trained probably for 2 months. Yes, he choreographed that and it was good. But I don't understand, what do people want with the Super Bowl?

Can I play devil's advocate, please? What did you just say?

Oh God, I have to edit it.

Damn it. Just leave it in.

Just leave it in, man. I really wanted to try to do it and not say it.

I'll play devil's advocate.

I think just Super Bowl, the bowl in the kitchen that I always use for salad.

Oh yes, my Super Bowl.

You could put anything in it, really, all kinds of stuff. Yeah, yeah, salad, chicken.

Here, to be fair about Justin Timberlake, please, I think he did the best that he could have possibly done.

No, he did. He could have, he could have launched the space shuttle.

Yeah, he could have done a little better, but, but I just don't think his music was necessarily fit for the Super Bowl. He is amazing and I fucking love him. He's incredible music. But it's just, it's, it's just like having my content. Like if Nickelodeon, if Disney Channel needed some videos to play on their channel and they picked my videos, it just didn't make sense in my eyes.

Yeah. Yeah, I think he's got a lot of hits. I think, you know, he does. Dude, he danced up a storm. He was dancing, he played piano.

Yeah, but like, I feel like it needs to be someone like Lady Gaga. Like it needs to be someone like, like pop, like some huge like club songs. Do you know what I mean?

Yeah.

JT, I feel, is more like a chill, chill vibe kind of guy.

I don't I don't think it was the songs. I think people wanted to see someone lit on fire or something shot out of the sky.

But I'm saying, yeah, yeah, that's, that's what Lady—

didn't Pink jump off a roof last time?

No, that was Lady Gaga.

What did she do? She jumped off the—

she jumped off the roof, like off the ceiling.

Where did she land?

She just landed on a stage or like on this— I don't know, it doesn't matter. In a ball pit? No, the point is that Justin Timberlake didn't have songs where him flying through the sky would fit. Yeah, but Lady Gaga does.

I get your point.

You know, Britney Spears would. You know, like all these like huge pop people would have.

Like, he's pretty big.

Yes, he's big. I don't know.

I hear what you're saying. You're saying I adore him. He doesn't have the songs to cut it for you. Yeah, I mean, I just— I just get mad with people.

Bottom line is I agree with Carol. I don't know if it did it for me. Um, no, Carol, I fucking love Justin Timberlake though.

So, so why are you dissing on him on your podcast?

I told you I was playing devil's advocate. I was just I was just letting you know what I think people were thinking. Oh, you know what people are also thinking?

What?

MVMT watches. Movement watches. It's pronounced movement.

I got my watch today.

It's spelled MVMT. I got it a couple days ago too. It's all black. It's sick. It was founded on the belief that style shouldn't break the bank. The watchmaker's goal is to change the way consumers think about fashion by offering high-quality minimalist products and at radically fair prices, with over 1 million watches sold to customers in 160 different countries around the world.

You just said radically like a real Chicago person. Radically.

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Valentine's Day is just around the corner, and it can be hard to find the perfect gift, but MVMT is here to take it easy.

Make it easy. If you're saying—

take it easy—

if you're saying they're here to take it easy, that means they're not gonna— you order a watch, they're just like, it's Valentine's Day, let's chill out on this order.

I've procrastinated in the past, David, on Valentine's Day.

Oh my God. Doesn't everybody? Doesn't the entire world procrastinate on Valentine's Day?

I got a thing from Tricia today. She already told me. She's like, got to plan something big on Valentine's Day. I go, what is this?

She told you that? At least she's upfront and she's not like playing games with you and you're like, oh, okay, so we're not doing Valentine's Day this year, right? And then you get bit in the ass when you don't do anything.

That's true.

That's nice of her. And she's like upfront, like upfront lady. Guys, Tricia is Jason's girlfriend. We'll get to this later. You know, movement from their watches while they're back at it and have added fashion-forward bracelets of their collection to fall in love with. There are designs like classic cuffs and trendy barbed wire with finishes like gold, rose gold, matte black, you name it.

They didn't just stop there. Oh, I'm sorry, I cut you off.

They start at just $40. I think I want to let people know that.

Yeah, no, you definitely should.

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Go to MVMT.com/views.

Join the movement, guys. That was Movement Watches.

I think I have one on my desk.

That's one of our first watch companies, right?

It's— yes, the first one.

It's the first watch company.

I like it a lot.

Like, can I just say something real quick? Watch out, other watch companies.

You're gonna give them that for free?

Yeah, that's good. Could you imagine they're listening to it, they're like, holy shit, that was fucking amazing.

Your phone's ringing. I think it's them.

No way. Hold on, let me— you answer it, you answer it. Okay, be cool, be cool.

Hello, MVMT? Yes. Yes, we are recording the podcast right now.

They like it. They like it.

Yes, it was very clever what David thought of.

Shut up.

You want to pay David $150,000 for the saying to start off?

Okay.

Oh my God.

Would you be into something like that? Yeah, I'm down.

You would? Yeah. And you want to franchise it all across the world?

Okay, no more of this.

And even in Mars?

Hang up. Hang up. Even in Mars? Actually, don't hang up. That's amazing.

You are good with slogans, man.

Man, I am really good.

You'd be a good advertising person.

That's what I wanted to get into if this didn't work out. Give me an idea. No, you know, I'm not gonna give you an object. Okay, like a windshield or something like that, and I'll give you a slogan.

Okay, a windshield.

Okay, okay, hang on, hang on. Oh, here's one. Snickers.

No, something that doesn't have one.

Oh, something that doesn't have one? Yeah. Uh, eggs.

Eggs.

Yeah.

Um, Here we go. Ready?

Yeah. Uh-huh.

Here we go. Oh shit, the movement people are on the phone.

Think of something.

What? They are?

They want to know. They need to know if they also represent eggs.

They also represent eggs.

Oh, how about, how about eggs? Don't, don't, don't toss them around.

Ah shit, the movement people just hung up and called the police.

Hey, how about that ad at the Super Bowl? How about that ad at the big game?

Oh shit. Snickers. Yeah, Jason, there was an ad that played during the big game and it was for Snickers. And what was it? What did it say?

Get your game on.

No, no, no. It didn't say get your— Yeah, it said get your— No, it didn't say get your game on.

Oh, keep your head in the game. No, it was here. I'll look it up. Hold on.

It was like, get your shit together or something.

No, it was get your game on. It was like Snickers.

All right. Anyway, there was, there was a Super Bowl. Shit, shit, shit, shit. There's a big game ad. That played while we were inside, while we were inside the stadium. And we're just going to get sued right after this.

So Snickers, get your game on. Yeah, that's the phrase.

Oh, is get your game on?

Yeah.

Okay.

Yeah. Which is so dumb. It was like, when is anyone getting their game on with— when do you eat a Snickers before an athletic competition?

Jason was like, hey, Dave, you really, you really got your game on. Did you just eat a Snickers? Yeah. What was your example?

Pie. Get your game on, Dave.

Dave, you just— a slice of chocolate cake. Get your game on, Dave.

You were great today on the court, man. You're killing everybody. You're like, oh shit, 8 for 10.

Jason, our next ad. Look at it. Oh, got it. It's for Snickers.

No, it's not.

I'm kidding.

I mean, look at Snickers has had some good ads. They did the Joe Pesci ad.

Oh, look at you saving your ass just in case Snickers is listening. Well, I mean, I think, look, no, look, Snickers, if we're hard on Snickers, we gotta be hard on Snickers. This sounds—

I said they've had some good ads.

Okay, fair enough. Anyway, it was a funny ad. Okay, let's get to the thing that everybody wants us to talk about.

Jason, I'm not talking about it. No, I'm keeping it private.

Fuck you.

I'm going— I'm— this is going to be a private—

I've—

Trisha and I spoke today and it's going to be a private affair. We're no longer speaking about it.

Yeah.

Yes.

You guys wouldn't be dating if you'd have to keep it private. Okay. Here's the thing. Jason has been seeing this girl named Tricia. She's great. She's really funny. She's really out there. She's really outgoing. Um, she also listens to this podcast. That's why I listed 4 adjectives about her.

Weird, man. She hears everything.

Yeah. If I say one thing, she'll fucking gut me. Um, no, but, uh, A couple days ago they got in a fight. We can say that, we can talk about the fight.

Sure.

It was just like a kind of like a relationship type fight about like, do you love me? Are you, are you just my friend? Whatever. And Trisha made it very clear, this was in my vlog on Monday. She's like, we're not friends, we're just coworkers. And then guess what? Just because this is how the universe works, on Wednesday my title of my vlog was they're officially dating. So it was about 2 days and They went from— they went from being coworkers and not friends to dating, right? Explain that to me. You guys are officially a couple.

Um, yes, we are. I'm pausing because I'm trying to answer your question. Yes, we are.

Uh, she's your girlfriend?

Yes.

If I go to USC with you today and I go, go make out with that girl, what do you say?

I guess I can't.

Okay.

Yeah, and it's all very fast, David. I— this has all happened in the last couple days. So I hadn't thought about it. I had a real realization today when I was like having like a relationship fight with her and I was like, oh God, this is a— you still in a relationship?

Can I assume something?

What?

You still have Tinder on your phone?

I literally, David, it's— I— yes, I do. So does she.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I mean, she's probably still going to use it. Yeah. Are you guys exclusive? Um, or are you— You are?

I haven't talked to her about it, but yes.

Okay, so what do you think? You seem like you have a gun to your head right now.

Me? Yeah, you. You put the gun to my head. You're using this for your— you did it yesterday.

Oh my God, I was gonna make a whole video about it.

You got so lucky yesterday.

Why?

You got so lucky to get that scoop yesterday. Oh yeah, because I was gonna do it on my channel and I was gonna like, you know, I'd like—

yeah, tell you about Trisha. We were, we were just sitting in Jason's room and And Trisha goes, and Trisha goes, Jason, tell him. And I'm like, tell him what? And I turned my camera on and I'm like, oh my God, are you guys dating?

Meanwhile, she's already talking and doesn't realize that you're filming.

Yeah. And I'm filming it.

I thought we were just hanging out. I'm like, you're with David. He's going to turn his camera on.

And then Jason says, yeah, we're dating. And then, and then he's just like, goddamn it, Trisha. I wanted this for my clickbait.

But it was, it was more than that. It was like, it went back and forth where It looked like I didn't want to say it. Yeah, like I was hiding something, but, but she was like, say it, say it. She kept pushing me.

Yeah, I mean, and then you said it.

Fucked us both.

And, uh, I linked, I linked both of your channels.

You did?

I, I put in the description, I put follow Jason and Trisha's Love Journeys, and I put Jason and Trisha's channel.

David, you are so sweet.

And so it was worth getting in a relationship after all.

Um, no, I'll be honest, I'll be honest, David. I, she, I, I went I went—

yeah, how did this all come? Okay, are you guys dating? Okay, so Wednesday, guys, I know this sounds like a joke, but Jason has a serious girlfriend now. Yeah, like it's, it's it. Like, it's not— this isn't like an act. This isn't like it's not Jake Paul and his girlfriend, like, you know, getting married. This is it. Yeah, they're dating.

They're dating. Yeah, and I think that's okay.

Why are you— are you asking me for reassurance?

No, I—

that's fine, right, David? Tell me it's fine.

No, it's just really hard because like today She— well, okay, this is what happened. So Wednesday, okay, we went to Hawaii. Okay, we had a great time. Yeah, the best time of my life, 100%, easily. Yeah, do you want to make this short or long?

No, no, just go, go, keep it at your own pace.

Okay, it was the best time. We really had a good— and then you came and that was even fun. And I mean, obviously that was fun, but she even thought that was funny. So that's like, wow, that's a pretty cool—

I showed up, that— this was the time I showed up to shoot him with a paintball gun.

Yeah, like, so a lot— and a lot of the comments, if you read them, like, David ruined Trisha's vacation. Trisha thought it was hilarious.

Yeah, people People were like, some people were like, why did he show up at the vacation?

Trisha thought it was hilarious. She begged you to stay.

Okay.

Yeah, we just had a great time. And then came home and I said, all right, I got a couple days and then I got to go to the big game. Yeah, right. So, so I said, uh, I talked to her on Wednesday. I said, we talked a little bit. Yeah, yeah, yeah, good to see you, blah blah. And then I said Wednesday night, I said, do you— I said, oh, what are you doing tomorrow? I'd love to see you before I go. She said, I have a fitting at 11 o'clock. She's very busy. Yeah, this girl's successful. Yeah, okay. She's got E! News calling her. She's got all kinds of stuff going on. I said, okay, no worries. So then, uh, came around and then she texted me at like 1 o'clock or something. Hey, what are you doing? Oh, well, and you— I'd made plans with you, David. Dude, uh, I said, I said, oh, well, let me ask David. Hold on, because he's here. But you hadn't told me what we were going to do. You just told me that we're going to shoot.

You told her that we were just filming.

We're working like we always do. Yeah, you know. Like it or not, we spend every day together. Yeah, right. Definitely. I like it.

Definitely. Or not. 100%.

Such a fucking dick.

It's 100% on the or not side.

I like it. I like working with David.

Yeah, whatever. Fuck you.

So then I walked into the room and I said, I said, what's the plan for today? And you go, oh, we're going to shoot with Heath at 3:15. Yeah. And I said, oh, okay, cool. And I text her back and I said, um, Yeah, I can't. I told everybody I shoot with Heath. Okay, well then that was it. It was fucking gloves off. She was so upset because you were choosing me over you guys. Choosing you, and I was going away with you for the weekend. Yeah, I don't know, not boyfriend-girlfriend at this point. Yeah, but in her defense, you know, she has feelings and I'm, I'm in and out. Yeah, right. That's not fair. It's not fair to do to someone. Yeah, I'm learning. So, and then I said, I'm learning.

I said, I said 45, had a 15-year-long relationship with a woman, had 2 kids with her. Believe me, I'm learning. I just got my driver's license. It's a little hard to balance both. Okay. Yeah. You're learning.

So I'm learning. Well, that's why I'm divorced, David, because I'm not good at this shit. Okay. Fucking. So then I said, I even said, oh, do you want to come with us? You're always down for her to come.

And, and, and she just went off the handle and it just started a big fight.

Said the most horrible things she could have ever said to me, like, you suck David's dick for views.

I say that all the time.

And all this, all this shit, whatever. So in her defense, she was, she was upset.

She's mad. Who cares?

She was mad.

She cut it off right here in the middle. Yeah, and, and come back to it later after I ask you about online dating, because chances are you've run into lazy text messages, dead-end conversation, and random matches that don't turn into dates.

Dates.

Yeah, you could get to know some— someone just by looking at their picture. Or you can't get to know someone by looking at their picture, let me tell you that.

eHarmony was great when I went on there. I, uh, I talked to a couple of girls.

Are you still talking to those girls?

No, I'm not talking to those girls. What's up with you? Why are you always trying to catch people cheating?

eHarmony is unlike many other dating sites. eHarmony takes steps that other dating sites don't in order to find you a more compatible match. Unless you're Jason Nash.

Where does it say that?

I made that one up.

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EHarmony brings compatible people together. There are plenty of hookup sites out there. This is not what they are, right?

It's not what they are right now. Our listeners can get a free month with EHarmony when they sign up for a 3-month subscription. You're gonna get a free month, David.

All you gotta do is enter code VIEWS at checkout. Seriously, stop waiting and start your journey to a satisfying, meaningful relationship. It can be fun to play around with online dating apps, but when you're ready to fall in love with someone and have a meaningful relationship, there's one app that's built to bring you real love: eHarmony. Come see how eHarmony can change your life. Go to eharmony.com and get started. Enter our code FUSE at checkout. That was sexy.

eHarmony is a great site, actually. They actually— you take all these tests and it really pinpoints the right person.

100%.

So, so definitely check that out.

Very important.

Yeah, it's not— it's not—

now let's dive right back into it. You guys are in— you guys are having an argument. I even talked to you guys about this argument.

Yeah.

And then you guys go and you guys have a conversation. You guys go get coffee together, and then what do you guys—

Well, no, then I didn't talk to her for 6 days.

Okay.

When I was at the big game.

Wow. So for 6 days you guys weren't talking to each other?

5 days. Yeah.

That's a big break, especially for a new relationship.

No, we weren't in a relationship.

I know, but for a new— Goddamn it. And then you guys got back together.

Yeah. And then at the super— and then at the big game, she called me and I was sitting next to you. She was going to show me her 2 friends that were having sex, but I didn't pick up.

Yeah.

So we were—

this is funny. We were at the big game with, with some executives, some important people at the company we were working with. And important celebrities around us too.

Yeah.

And Trisha called Jason and I guess, I guess he just didn't see a ring or he was— he didn't know.

I saw it and I just didn't pick up because I was like—

because there was people there and you didn't want to have like a long 30-minute conversation.

Yeah.

Yeah. And thankfully he didn't pick up because Trisha later told him that she was FaceTiming him just to show him that two of her friends were having sex and they were right behind her and they were having sex for me. Just for you.

Yes.

It was two girls, right?

Yes. Well, yes.

It was two girls and they literally told Trisha, let's call Jason and have sex in the background.

Yes.

Yeah, thank God you didn't pick up. We would have lost our jobs and been booted out of the big game. Okay, so you didn't call her, but then you called her back later. Big game.

Yeah, so then I— she texted me, I miss you, and I texted back, I miss you too. I didn't leave her hanging because I didn't want to do that to her.

You sent her a dick pic?

I sent her a picture of Todd's dick.

Yeah, I miss you, here's something to hold you over for the next couple days.

Anyways, that's it then. And then, uh, Yeah, whatever. It's— that's it. So yeah, now we're dating. That's long story short.

Okay, you skipped the whole part.

Yeah. Yeah. Well, then I started talking to her and I sort of missed her and then I definitely missed her even though she was a jerk.

And then, okay, can I be real with you?

Sure.

Do you feel like you were, you were guilted into the situation or do you honestly— do you want this relationship? I feel like fucking Dr. Phil.

Yes, you sound very Dr. Phil right now. No, I, I feel, I feel like I want to try, you know. Yeah, I really, really, really, really enjoy her company. Yeah, it's really fun.

I do too.

She's nonstop fun.

Yeah, she's great.

So, but she's, you know, we'll see.

And then in the car, we were in the car coming from Olive Garden.

Oh yeah. Oh, and then she rolls into town. She's like, she pretends like none of it happened. Like she didn't say all these horrible things about me, which is fine, you know. And then, but then she apologized.

She said horrible things, but like, they would, you know, They weren't like— she was, you know, she was in her own right to say those things.

No, she didn't believe any of them to be true.

Oh, she later— she was just like—

yeah, she's like, I didn't mean any of that. She called me on, you know, she called me all kinds of names and stuff. Yeah, yeah, piece of shit, I hate you.

That's right on that.

Yeah, you're right.

I think she meant— I think anybody would mean that. No, but, um, but then we took a family trip to Olive Garden. It was me and my two parents, Trisha and Jason. And when we were leaving, I was like, I was like, so Jason, is, um, is Trisha allowed to see your kids yet? Is she allowed to meet your kids yet? And Jason goes, nope, not yet.

Right, which I thought you asked was, has she met them yet? And I said, nope, not yet. That was what I heard you say.

Fair enough. Yeah, but that's, that's what he said. He said, nope, not yet. And Trisha got so mad, and I was sitting in the back of the car. Oh yeah, because I let them drive. And I felt so, so uncomfortable because then they just started fighting.

You instigated it. Don't say you felt uncomfortable. You started the whole thing.

Of course I started the fight.

Why do you start fights? Why do you— why don't you fucking keep your mouth shut?

I didn't know it was gonna be that bad. When are you— I thought it was gonna be—

you know it's gonna be bad. It's Trisha.

From now I know. Now I know that I have to be more careful.

But dude, you do that all the time. You fucking light little fires around people.

That was sick.

You're the worst. Why do you do that?

I don't know.

What if I was with Liza and I was like, oh, you know, I I saw David, uh, talking to somebody today who was really attractive. Yeah, it's fucked up, right? Uh, I don't do that.

No. Okay, I, I did it. I didn't think it was gonna be—

you know—

no, I didn't know it was gonna be so huge. Jason, I was sitting in the back and I was like, David, you know, to not ask a question like that. It's funny because Trisha was like, what did you mean by that? And then I go, yeah, Jason, what did you mean by that?

Oh, and you fucked me last night.

She Ew, I didn't have sex with you.

You screwed me over last night.

Oh, okay.

She said you were all talking, uh-huh, because I didn't get to go last night, but you were all talking and then Trisha was kind of like, I fucked you over last night. Yeah.

Oh my bad, I didn't mean to.

No, and you know what, Trisha's so cool that she told me about it.

What did I say?

Got my back.

What did I say?

She said, I guess someone was talking like, so what happened with you and Jason or whatever? And Trisha's like, yeah, yeah, you know, I was— I got a little mad at him, whatever. And And then, you know, and I, you know, she was like, I didn't really have anything bad I could have said about him. And then you go, you go, well, you could have said that he led you on, you know, and that he was just kind of playing with your emotions.

I was doing that to help you.

Oh, go ahead, explain that one.

Okay, so Trisha said this. Trisha said, I was so mad at Jason that I wanted to expose him, right? And I wanted to like say a bunch of bad shit about him. I wanted— she wanted to make a YouTube video about him.

Him.

Yeah, but then she, she said I couldn't because I couldn't think of anything bad to say, right? And I told her that— I know, listen, I told her the one bad thing to say about you because I wanted to say it before she could say it. I'm serious, this is 100% serious.

You wanted to say it before she could say it?

Yes, I wanted to say, well, you could say he led you on, because I didn't want her to think about it first. I— and this is some fucking weird shit, and I'm being honest with you. I said a bad quality about you so she wouldn't find out the bad quality about you first.

What's the bad quality about me?

It's the fact that you may have led her on. And, and listen, Carly and I were talking about it before, and we're like, what if Trisha makes an exposing video about him, right? And Carly's like, well, I guess she could twist it in a way and say that he led her on. Yeah. And that's why I told her, I'm like, well, you could twist it and you could manipulate your audience into thinking that he really led you on. And I said that because if she ever did— if she ever did expose you and say that you led her on, I can say that I showed her, and I even said it on camera. Do you know what I mean? I was doing it just to get your back. Ah, it's very fucking backwards-minded.

You're too savvy for me.

It's like, it's like, it's like when you have to take the flu shot and you get a little bit of the flu to prevent the big flu.

Thank you, David, for getting my— I also totally—

you're a fucking bitch.

Thank you for getting way too involved in my relationship. Yeah, awesome.

I don't know if any of you guys followed that.

I followed it.

It was a little hard to follow. But anyway, you got— now you guys are dating. You guys are happy in a relationship.

I'm bummed out about this podcast.

Why?

I don't want her to listen to it, be mad or something.

Why would she be mad?

Because we did a whole— I just— I know, did I say anything bad?

No, this is all honest stuff.

It's all—

it's all out in the open, right on the table.

I love you, Trish. That's it. Whoa, there you go.

The first time you said it?

First time I've ever said it.

Yeah, do you actually—

on this podcast? I saved it for here. She's been saying I love you for weeks. Not yet.

You wait till February 8th.

Podcast sweeps.

Do you, do you mean it?

Yeah, of course I love her.

Okay, well guys, that's all the time we have for Trisha conversations.

Yeah, let's, let's, let's—

I'm happy for you guys. I hope you guys last a long time. If you guys get married again, that'd be fucking wonderful. I'm rooting for you. I really am.

Thanks.

You know how much— you know how it's gonna be easier to keep the relationship going though? What if you use Beachbody On Demand?

Man, we're really, really doing the ads tonight. I kind of feel bad.

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Mm-hmm.

And I've heard that you've been experimenting with Beachbody On Demand, and I think I'm about to switch over.

I have been doing some of the workouts that they said, that they've told me about. They are— I definitely feel better. I've been doing them before Hawaii. I took a little break, and then I did one this week.

I've been running. Yes, you— yes, I'm 8 days in a row now.

It's, it's so weird. You run at 3 in the morning.

Yeah.

That's odd.

I run at random times. Sometimes it'll be 7 in the morning or 3 in the morning.

Okay, what are you running now, a mile?

No, we're like a mile and a half, two.

That's pretty good. Yeah, in 15 minutes.

I'm really happy. Yeah, 15 minutes.

You must be sprinting.

Thank you.

That's amazing, David. Beachbody On Demand is convenient, accessible on your computer, web-enabled TV, tablet, smartphone, or any other web-enabled device. No need to go to the gym or schedule a class. Everything is right there on your personal device.

Traveling, you can do the workouts in your hotel.

I did them in my hotel room in Chicago at the big game. I mean, where were we?

We were in Minnesota.

No, when you travel a lot, you don't know where the hell you are.

Yeah, it's so tricky.

It's weird.

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Are you Morgan Freeman?

You will get full access to this entire platform for free. All the workouts— I can't do it— all the workouts and nutrition information free. Just text VIEWS to 303030. Thank you guys. And that's our third ad of the day. Holy shit, racking in the money. So much of it. I was told, I was told actually by someone to not talk about how much money we made.

Yeah, who told us? Who said you were being gauche the other day?

It was someone husband said it. And, uh, yeah, so I'm not allowed to talk about how much money I'm making. And I want to make things very clear that I made $3,000 on my last YouTube video because I'm— I— whatever that person said, I didn't take it into account.

Oh, so you're gonna continue to brag about how much money you have?

And no, I actually didn't make $3,000. I made $200 because it was a deal.

Yeah, David's got some stuff going on with YouTube. You know, he doesn't make as much money as you think on these videos.

We don't need it. We don't—

these videos are hot videos. They're lit. No, no. No, no, fuck, fuck them, fuck them. Hey, don't listen.

Don't say fuck them. Who are you saying fuck them?

The audience. I'm telling the audience to— oh yeah, fuck you guys, you guys, listen up. The audience. No, I love the audience. No, you know, you should, you should be getting paid more for sure.

I did a mukbang with Trisha the other day.

I watched it today.

Did you like it?

I, I thought it was so funny.

We do a mukbang, which is basically you drive through, you get food, and you eat it in front of the camera, and it's unedited. For 20 minutes. It's just us eating food and it's fucking great. And someone commented saying, you can tell David's— David never eats and he's genuinely happy this time around because he's eating for content. And it's true. I was so happy because I was, I was eating for work. Like, it felt good because I'm like, I'm not actually like eating junk food right now. Yeah, I'm doing it to get this video done.

You're doing a job.

I'm working.

So there was no guilt. Do you have a lot of guilt when you eat?

Ah, sometimes.

Yeah, it's surprising. Yeah, I would think you just eat whatever you want.

You think that 21-year-old sexy as me I would just eat whatever I want.

Yeah, when you've got a nice tight butt like you do, and then those abs and that beach body, that beach body body.

You're 45. Hey man, comments like that.

Listen, my young girlfriend and I, we swing a bunch, you know.

How old's your girlfriend?

How old is Trish?

Yeah.

Oh man, I don't know, that's crazy. I don't even like to say it.

19?

No, she's not 19.

She's 30.

I think she's 29.

That's amazing, that's really young. Good for you.

Yeah, it's, you know what's great? I said today was Like, if I had a 29-year-old girlfriend, people would be like, well, you know, she's obviously after him for the money. But that's not true.

It's backwards.

Yeah, it's totally backwards.

Yeah, does she pay?

So they must be like, wow, I guess she really likes him.

Who pays?

He's broke.

Who pays when she goes out to dinner, or when you guys go out to dinner?

Uh, we switch off.

Who eats the most when you guys go out?

Well, the thing is, I'll pay, but then she'll go into like a really expensive place. I'm like, I'm not going in there, and then she'll pay.

Oh, and then she'll pay.

Yeah, we went to the Polo Lounge today. Really? Yeah, you should go there.

I was just— when we were talking about Beach on Demand, I couldn't help thinking about my gym class.

Did you want—

just in high school, did you— we had— we did this— we did this lame fucking thing.

It was called Beachbody On Demand.

No, not— no, no, I said we did this lame thing.

And I know, but you quoted the ad. I wanted to get that right. Oh yeah, sorry, go ahead.

Beachbody On Demand. And we did this lame thing in gym class where every, every Tuesday we would have to do CV testing. Do you know what that is?

What is that?

We'd have to put like a heart rate monitor strapped to our chest. Yeah, and we'd have to have our heart rate above 160 for 25 minutes. That's the only— that's the only way we'd get an A for the day. And it got so bad that so many people were slacking off at our gym class and they weren't getting their heart rate up. They were just fucking goofing off that we had to wear the heart rate monitor every day. Every day.

What?

So we wore it every day. So every day we would have to get our heart rate up over 160 for 25 minutes. And that's not the hard part. I fucking— the gym class was the fucking Olympics for me. I mean, I busted my ass. I came out pouring in sweat.

Really?

There was not a game I didn't fucking— yeah, I'm super competitive. So there's—

do you shower after?

No, no showers.

Why not?

I didn't care. I always liked myself after sweating a lot. I feel like I always look—

don't you smell?

I just sprayed on a bunch of like Old Spice.

Oh yeah, David will do this thing in the car where we're like really working really hard. He'll just grab the cologne when he's overworked, just pour it on my body, because like someone will invite him to an event and he doesn't really want to go to the event, but he's gonna go just because he might get some content. Yeah, you need to have time to take a shower, so he'll just cologne it up.

But yeah, we did that, we did that bullshit, and we had to wear it around our heart, and it sucked because you couldn't run with it because it was really tight on your body, and if you move too quickly it would fall off.

How is it strapped to you? Was it—

it goes around your body, ties around your back, right? Yeah, your chest. It sucked. And it was hooked up to a watch that you had to like pair every time you did it. It was fucking awful.

What happened if you go below 160? You start again?

No, you can go, it just doesn't count. It'll go, okay, you have 8 minutes of like— let's say it's at 8 minutes that you've been over the heart rate. If you drop below 160, it won't add to your 8 minutes.

I don't even know, is 160 like— is that like panting, like dying?

It's not panting, it's working out.

It's working out.

Yeah, it's really cool, and it would have been a lot easier if we all had Apple Watches.

Yeah, but, um, what if you were— what if you were overweight and couldn't do it?

No, if you're overweight, it's easier to do it because your heart rate— your heart rate goes up. It's equivalent to your body. Oh, you're overweight, it's easier. You don't have to—

Wyatt says he's been getting scored on how fast he runs a mile.

Yeah.

So literally in gym class he did great.

They did that to us too. It's not—

what if you can't run a 10-minute—

like, that's the thing, that in my gym class they wouldn't grade you on— they wouldn't grade you, they wouldn't give you an A if you got an 8, like, 8-minute mile. They grade you on your improvement. So the more you improve, the better your grade gets.

Oh, I don't know.

Did you try in gym class?

I mean, no, we just had fun. We didn't have to try.

That wasn't it. It's like I had a fucking blast. Like, we had like water polo. We did—

you had water polo?

Yeah, we did all kinds of sports.

Water polo, like, impossible to play.

The best. It was one of my favorite things.

How do you stay afloat? Did you stand?

No, you don't stand. It's in a deep pool.

No, I know, but I'm assuming that— I would, I would think that maybe they'd let you stand, like—

no.

Yeah, so it's really hard though.

You have to float. It's a very hard sport.

It's the best freaking hard sport.

Speaking of hard sports, beach— no, I'm kidding. No more, no more ass. Yeah, we read too many ads today, but, but we really appreciate all the ads.

What's next, Dave? Where's the next trip you're taking?

Well, before I go into one more story I have for the podcast, you want to plug some merch? No, I don't want to. Yeah, buy merch. Too Much Scotty merch is back. But okay, you know the last podcast we said that if you, if you fill out the survey, yeah, you win an Amazon gift card, and I called bullshit that you, that you're probably not gonna win anything. And turns out Josie Reyes won the Amazon gift card for doing this survey. So shout out to her.

Josie Reyes. Yeah.

Can I tell you this? This is what happened the other day.

Please.

I went to Minnesota. We were all in Minnesota.

I was there.

Alex is from Minnesota.

Yes.

And I visited him in his hometown. This was— this is— I'm telling you, this is gonna sound like I'm exaggerating it, but it— but it's not. I went to— I went to his mom's house. I love his— I love his mom. I met her before. She's great. And I said, hi, how are you? And within 3 minutes, I go— where I'm still standing in the doorway— I go, where's Mr. Ernst? Yeah, and she looks at me with like a, like a, like almost like a robotic smile, like I just shut down a robot and it's like powering down. Yeah, just like tilted her head and smiled at me. And I look at Alex and no one's saying anything. I'm like, uh, I literally said, uh, I just said, uh, like that's all I said. And I fucking shit you not, I shit you not, 14 seconds— no, okay, like 8 seconds, 8 solid seconds, like one 2, 3, 8 seconds go by until I'm like, okay, no one's saying anything. So I'm like, oh, I'm so sorry, did he, did he pass away? And, and then I shit you not, another 4 minutes, 4 seconds go by, like 4 solid seconds, and Alex goes, yeah, yeah, he passed away. And I'm like, oh my God, I'm, I'm so sorry, I didn't, I didn't have any idea. And he's like, no, no, he didn't pass away. He didn't even, he didn't even go like, nah, I'm just kidding. He went, no, no, he didn't pass away. They're just divorced. And I'm like, oh, okay, cool. Because it wasn't like, it wasn't like, oh, I got you, we both got you. Like, they weren't playing a prank on me. It was just genuinely uncomfortable. And Alex is such a shy person, right, that he didn't want to say anything. And then after we got in the car, I'm like, Alex, what the fuck was that? What was going on in there? Why didn't you tell me your parents were divorced? And he's like, I don't know, man. I thought my mom was gonna say something.

Dude, they've been divorced for—

I don't know, a couple years. Okay, this isn't like a— this dude, the way it felt in there, it felt like they had Mr. Ernst hanging by a rope in the basement. Like, that's the type of tension I was feeling. And I'm like, fuck. And then we went to a bar and Mr. Ernst ended up actually showing up at the bar, and he's a fucking great dude. Both of his parents are great.

Good.

But it scared the shit out of me. It made me feel so uncomfortable. Uncomfortable. You know what also scares the shit out of me?

Ending a podcast.

Ending a podcast.

Yeah.

Holy shit. Gives me the fucking shivers.

I'm sorry. I hope you can get through this, guys.

That's it for today's podcast. Sorry. All it was was telling him, telling you guys about Jason's new girlfriend.

Yeah. I'm sorry if that was boring, guys.

I'm sorry that Jason's sex life is boring.

This is the best I can do.

Had a girlfriend in fucking 8 years. Let us, let us dedicate one goddamn.

Give me a break.

No, but guys, make sure to go buy the Too Much Scotty merch. It's back on sale for one week only until Valentine's Day.

Nice. And yeah, yeah, and I got merch code on Fanjoy next to David's merch. Go grab it. I got vlogs and I got— that's it.

Go check us out. We're gonna be everywhere. We'll see you guys next week for our next podcast. You guys tweet us topics you want us to talk about because I'm literally down to talk about anything. If you want to talk about abortion again, I'm fucking all in. Just let us know. All right, we'll see you guys later. This has been A Viewz Podcast and my name is Jeff. Bye.