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David's Secret Money Hack
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What's up guys, welcome back to Views. We are back with another pod.
Natalie is here, unfortunately.
Jason is here with me, super excited to do it with him.
Thanks.
Yeah, I got a DM today, said they don't do video because Dave doesn't want to show your old ugly face. Oh damn, is that why?
You got my message.
I was at you in a burner account.
No, it has nothing to do with what you look like, actually.
Do you think I'm attractive?
No, I'm just worried about the editing slip-ups that you would— it's still your fault. No, no, no.
But speaking of editing, it's funny. We were yesterday—
dude, I feel like we keep mentioning him like over and over again. Every time we hang out with one person, I feel like we talk about them for like 3 podcasts.
Well, he's the most exciting thing happening right now.
Right now. Yeah. Steve came by again.
Sure.
And we did a livestream the other day, like literally What was it yesterday? We livestreamed at the house and Jay, I guess, I sent him a message. I sent Jay, when I FaceTimed Jason, I was like, come by, Steve's gonna livestream. And then Jay comes over and Steve's livestreaming setup looks like he's vlogging. It's on a DSLR. So you can't, if you don't know, you think that he's full-on vlogging. And then Jay walks in and Jay's like doing things in front of the camera, whatever. 'Cause he thinks, he's fully under the impression that Steve is making a vlog in my house. And I didn't know this yet. I thought, I thought Jason knew that he was live streaming. And then there was a moment where, where I was like, oh, remember Naveen made a good joke, Jay?
Yeah.
And then Jason's like, oh yeah, yeah, yeah. I'll send you guys the clip. And then I'm like, send him the clip? Like, and then I was like, oh my God, Jay thinks this is like a video that they can just like quickly throw in a clip in their edit. And I'm like, Jay, this is live. And Jay goes, wait, we're live? And, and mind you, we've been live already for 20 minutes. And Jason's just been like trying jokes and things like that.
So it's really funny that the whole thing, it was just being streamed and Jay had no idea.
And then Jay's initial reaction is just like, what the fuck, Dave? It wasn't that. I'm being like really dramatic. But then Jay goes, why didn't you tell me we were live? And I'm like, Jay, we're still live. Don't get angry.
But that was really funny.
Yeah.
Thank God I didn't say anything.
But you're like the master of live.
So I was like, You got a little tense when you found out it was live. I was like, why?
You do this shit 8 hours a day.
You got tense too on the pool table because it was live.
Yeah, well, that was brutal. We did— we played for $25,000. One pool game.
Yeah.
Oh, that was all in the livestream. The whole pool game.
Yeah, it was like 45 minutes of just playing pool. It was the worst pool I've ever played in my entire life. Yeah, but I won the game. Yeah, I knew going into that I had a big advantage of winning. So I played really slow. I played really shitty, which actually went, went to my advantage because then his other friend was like, oh, I can beat David.
Yeah.
And then Steve was like, fine, double or nothing.
So I had nothing to lose. So I was like, okay, I guess I'll play for $50,000. And then I beat his friend who was a step up better than the last opponent, but still not as good as the third friend that was in the room. And he was like, wait, I could beat Dave. And then he was like, let me do double or nothing. And now I've won 2 games in a row. I'm up $50,000. And Steve's like, one more double or nothing. Let's go to $100,000.
Wow.
And I saw it too, and I'm still saying wow. Yeah, it's crazy.
And I beat his third friend for $100,000.
Wow.
You, you, you, um, unknowingly snookered them.
Yes. Yeah, yeah.
You know what snooker is, Nat?
No, I know snooki.
It's like when you like go to a pool hall and you like play.
No, it's called hustling.
Oh, hustling, right.
But yeah, yeah, no, I definitely didn't like I definitely won. I played shitty all 3 games.
Yeah.
But I was playing, like, Jay, you can attest, that was like one of my worst pool games.
I've never seen you play so bad.
Never.
Never.
But I've never played for so much.
Sweaty hands?
So sweaty.
So like every shot, like my first opponent, I knew that I like had a good chance of winning.
Yeah.
So like I wasn't taking any risky shot and I was playing so bad that I was missing.
But yeah, and then when I won the $100, it doesn't feel good to like win money from like a friend. Yeah, like, like you—
like, so anticlimactic.
Yeah, like Ferris told you to grab the vlog camera. Yes, that's a vlog. And I knew that it wasn't gonna be like a good thing to vlog because I'm like, I'm not gonna be excited at the end. And then what was my reaction at the end? It was just—
it was so anticlimactic. Everyone was like, oh, I think, I think I yelled. I was like, yeah, yes! And then no one else said anything. Yeah, yeah, that was it. And yeah, it did feel bad.
It's sad.
That's crazy. You win so many— you win so much money off these little like random side bets of games, whether it's pool or pickleball or whatever.
Yeah, I've made like through like tennis, padel bets. Yeah. I don't take, I don't take big bets unless I'm like pretty confident that I could win it. But like over the last 5 years, I've probably won, I don't know, a little over a couple hundred thousand. Yeah. $300,000, $400,000 over the last 5 years.
Crazy.
So like, which is kind of crazy.
So much money.
Like I've made like a, like a decent income just off winning games.
Yeah.
Like, and that's from Spikeball. That's from Paddle. I had a really big Paddle game. I won. I won.
Oh, you beat me in Spikeball.
I beat you in a pro. In a pro.
Yeah.
Yeah.
But that was fucked up. It was like, there was some rule in there that I agreed to that I should have agreed to. Oh, the pro. The serving.
The pro only got like one serve or something.
Yeah.
Something like that. And that fucked us.
Yeah.
That really fucked you.
Yeah.
That's the only reason I took it. Cause I'm like, okay, then I have a chance.
Right.
Um, but like, yeah, I don't lose too many of those just because I don't, I don't really take a bet that I don't think I can win.
Right.
Um, and then I just won pool. Yeah, yeah, no, no, I've made a good income just by taking these like little sport bets, which is so fun because it like takes me back to like high school.
Well, it's also because you're so unassuming. Like everybody thinks that you have zero athletic ability, you know?
Yes, it's how I walk. I mean, I walk like an idiot. I know it's my walk. I know it's the shape of my body. Like if you see me in person, I like kind of look like a duck. I walk like a duck. Like my back like curves inwards. Like my stomach pops out, my ass comes— I don't— do you know what I mean?
Yeah, no, you're fine.
I never noticed that. You think he walks like— looks like a duck? I never noticed that.
He's got a really big ass, so like he kind of walks—
okay, Natalie. Yeah, a little tight ass.
Got a lot of junk in the trunk.
Um, yeah, no, I walk— it's not— I don't walk weird because of my ass. I just like—
that's why— that's why there's so much like— there's weight back there that you're carrying. That's why your back is like shaped that way. And it's—
no, but like The way I walk, I almost walk on a swivel.
Do you have bowed feet? Bowed legs?
What does that mean?
Like where your legs kind of curve inwards? Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
That's it. Yeah. I was always so insecure about it as a kid.
Your feet go in?
Yeah. Like chicken feet.
Oh, wow.
That was actually a really mean thing when people used to say that.
Chicken feet?
Do you remember that?
Try pepperoni face or pizza face, whatever they're called.
Well, you deserve that. But do you remember when people used to say chicken feet? They used to throw around those things.
Chicken legs.
Chicken legs. I thought that was so fucking rude. But also, like, any insult as a kid was like—
Just stung.
Do you come from a long line of big asses? Like, back in Slovakia?
I don't know, I've never even thought about that.
Maybe it's like working in the fields, maybe your ancestors were farmers and, you know, bending down and—
Like squatting?
Created this mega ass. This Dobrik, uh—
Yeah, that was weird. When I got into shape, the first thing to go was my ass.
Oh yeah?
My ass got a little flatter. Do you remember that, Nat? I think Natalie noticed it.
I don't recall.
Don't pretend like you don't know.
I believe it.
Yeah, I don't know. I don't know where that happened. Dude, Jay, do you remember?
He's like a woman. He's built like a woman. He carries a lot of his weight in his shoulders.
No, I'm straight up built like a woman. Even the watch, not to bring him up again, but the watch that Steve got me was on the smallest setting of wrists.
Dainty.
I mean, yeah, my entire body's like a woman. It's funny when people see me in person, they're like, oh my God, you're tiny.
Really?
Yeah, yeah, yeah. I also like don't do flattering angles on anything. Like when I used to vlog, the camera was always like under my chin. So when people see me, they're like pleasantly surprised, which is really nice. They're like, oh, you look like a petite little woman.
You look good on, whenever we would see you on TV, like when you hosted Kids' Choice or whatever, you hosted something. I was like, you look good. He looks studly.
Really?
Yeah, yeah. On TV, for some reason you translate, but in person you're like, I don't know. Do you remember? I remember seeing him up on the camera. We went like down and he hosted something.
It was the Teen Choice Awards.
Teen Choice. Yeah. And I remember I got to go to the monitor and watch him and I was like, wow, you look good.
Teen Choice was such a pivotal moment for me.
Why?
Well, because you— I think it was you, you like taught me how to host. I did? Yeah, because I was reading— so we had to go through all the scripts.
Oh yeah, we used to sit in your trip.
We sat in your trailer that day and we rehearsed and I was reading everything like, welcome back to the Teen Choice Awards. I was reading everything like Nick Lachey. —Or like a news announcer, or like Ryan Seacrest, or how I would imagine everybody to like do it. And I kept doing that, and I kept reading for like 2 hours.
It's like harder than it looks, right? Like hosting.
It's not though, because you made the one change and then it was just like, oh, duh.
I don't know what I said.
Well, you said read it like you would read an ad read. Oh. So it became instead of what's up guys, instead of what's up guys, welcome back to the T-Choice Awards, it became what's up guys, welcome back to the T-Choice Awards. Do you know what I mean?
Oh yeah, yeah, yeah.
You put like the laugh in my step. And then I was like, oh, duh.
Oh, that's funny. Yeah.
And like that, like made reading everything—
I just had to read everything like I was having the best time. Just like read everything like this is your first time reading words. That's backstage.
And you've just been given the ability to do that.
But yeah, that was really fun.
I love the new gym. I used it yesterday. Oh yeah. Unbelievable.
How does it feel in there?
Dude, I was blessed because I got in there, no one was in there, and the TV's blasting. The TV's huge. And the Emmys were just starting when I walked in. I didn't even know they were on.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. I saw that. There's something cool about seeing the Emmys. Emmys on that TV. Yes.
Yes. And the Emmys were great. The comedy was really great. And Seth Rogen won. And Nate Bergazzi did this really cool thing where he was like, oh, it's a— he's going to give $100,000. If anyone goes over their speech, we start deducting. You go over 45 seconds.
I saw that. So there's like a counter when you go over 45 seconds. It started at $100,000 and then it went down. Yeah. Which is kind of crazy. It's crazy when you see prices on— when you see the money symbol on TV. Like, social media has really made, like, I'm like, I saw they're going to donate $80 grand to Boys and Girls Charity. Yeah, $100.
$100.
Yeah.
But then, like, it dropped.
No, that's like absolutely nothing.
Like, you know what I mean? In regards to like, oh yeah, like you have your Jimmys of the world, MrBeast. Yeah. That have completely obliterated that standard of like, that's true. Like, oh, you're on the Cash Cab. You just won $6,000. Like back then for a game show, fuck yeah. But now like Jimmy, Jimmy won't even look at you if he's handing that much money. He'll throw that, he'll slide that to you behind the cameras. Like that's like, that's that kind of game show money. There was a video I watched with MrBeast and it was like he was in Dubai or something and he was just like, he drove up next to a guy in traffic or in a parking lot and he was in the Lamborghini. He was like, do you want this Lamborghini?
And the guy's like, okay. And Jimmy just gave him the Lamborghini and then it goes on to the next segment.
And that's, that's when I was like, oh fuck, all of that shit is like dead now. Like, it's like, it like, it all game shows competition. It's like, yeah, like Jimmy just like Jimmy just made too much money where it's like it's going to be impossible to compete with now. Obviously you still have like you could still give people things like when they have a story. Yeah. Like that, that still works at a game show. Yeah. But like, it is really crazy how like MrBeast just like set the bar so high for giving people things.
Jay, Natalie's a big fan of Ariana Grande. Okay. She's coming to perform in LA. So guess where I'm getting the tickets for Natalie?
I don't know.
If you had to guess, the best ticketing website ever.
Oh, the best one is SeatGeek.
Yeah, I'm getting them on SeatGeek.
You're getting Natalie tickets?
Which is why I wanted to give the sponsor of today's pod, SeatGeek, a huge shout out. With over $35 million, SeatGeek is the number one rated ticketing app. There are more than 70,000 events listed on SeatGeek, including concerts, sports festivals, and more. Right now you can get tickets to Billie Eilish, Dua Lipa, the Jonas Brothers, and more. It's amazing. I love using SeatGeek for any event. I mean, literally, where was the last Oasis?
Was just in town. Yeah. Incredible. We're going to see— who's the girl you like? The girl you love that was on the podcast. Halsey. We're going to see Halsey at the cemetery on October 14th. Really? You want to come?
You were just going to go and not invite me?
Well, it's Naveen and her sister.
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I had an idea for you.
I don't want to tell you yet. Okay. What's an idea that you've had that we had to shoot down? Is there anything that you've had that, like, just didn't work?
I've pitched so many ideas that you've shot down. I've tried to bring you, like, good comedians and you've shot them down.
Dude, I just don't— I don't love filming with celebrities. Okay. I don't know why. Really? Like, I love it, but the gut feeling I have inside me, like the anxiety I have going to the place. Yeah. Is like so unbearable where it's not fun. Like, my favorite bits are where you go, here's an idea and all it's going to take is me, you, Natalie, the Tesla in the middle of the desert. And it's a surefire— like, that's how I know that time.
Like, yes, let's go.
Because like that, I know we could shoot for 6 hours. Right. And but like going to like see a celebrity, I'm like, I don't want to waste this person's time. What if they're not in a good mood? I don't know. That's difficult. Right.
And then worse.
So like, like what happens if you shoot with someone and then, and then they watch the vlog and they're only, they're only in it for like 5 seconds? Yeah.
We shot for—
I shot with Steve for like, what, like 8 hours of footage. Yeah. And 3 hours of it was Pepino. Yeah. And then Pepino comes up to me or he was on FaceTime with me and he goes, hey man, I was only in there for about 5 seconds.
What the fuck? He goes, I got beef with you.
I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry. But like, yeah, I guess that is confusing.
Trying to think of something that I pitched that you didn't— you wouldn't do. It was, uh, it was a prank with the OnlyFans girl and John.
With Sophie Rain?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
What was the prank?
The prank was supposed to be that we had— John is going to do a, um, he's, he's working as a photographer for Ilya, and then, uh, but he gets there and it's, it's Sophie Rain that he has to take pictures of. That was the prank.
Yeah, we can't do that. John's girlfriend would not like that. Yeah.
Okay.
That's really funny. I really want to do a bit with like a wedding.
Yes, yes, yes. Weddings are great. That's the height of comedy.
I just want— I want like some, like a wedding destroyed. Obviously it's all like all extras, right? Not a real wedding, but like some situation where something happens at a wedding. I don't know. I just think weddings are so— like, I just, I love everyone sitting in those little white fold-out chairs. Yeah. All like in columns. Joe pitched me an idea. He's like, are you ready? I have a 10 out of 10 idea. And guess what? It wasn't a 10 out of 10 idea. It was you proposing to Naveen. Yeah. And like a really public setting without her knowing. Yeah. Like a jumbotron or whatever. So then I started thinking about weddings. I was like, okay, well, maybe a better idea would be like, there's— we have a wedding at a wedding venue and everyone is an extra. Yeah.
And except the waiter.
So like you go up to a waiter as Jason Nash.
Yes.
And you're like a party guest and you're like, bring out champagne. Like right when I raise my hand. Yeah. Like, I want to make a toast. And you do it at like the most inopportune time. And it's like you object to the wedding and the waiter's standing there with the champagne. Oh, right, right, right. And you're like making this big speech about why the bride shouldn't marry this guy because you want to marry her. Like just putting the waiter in an uncomfortable situation would be kind of funny.
Yeah, that's funny.
But that's like all I could think about is like, how do you ruin a wedding where it's only one person that like, there still has to be somebody there that like doesn't know. That there's a joke.
I think we could— I think one way to do it is to like throw it out to a listener, be like, if you guys are getting married, well, I don't want to be at an actual wedding. We'll come and screw your wedding up. And there might be somebody out there that would think it was funny and be like, yeah, we're down.
No, no, no, no.
Yeah, of course.
No, I think they'd be down in theory, but then like when it actually comes down to it, you don't want your actual—
No, there's so many moving parts to wedding.
You never know.
And so many people, like the parents that pay for whatever, or whoever is gonna be pissed.
Like, okay, so my friend's confused. My friend got married once. Yeah. And I really wanted him— I I really wanted to get him a car, like, on his wedding day, right? Like a nice, like, $60,000, $70,000 car, just celebrate their wedding day. And I'm telling you, for 3, 4 hours, I went back and forth with Natalie. I'm like, I don't know if it's appropriate because it's like, this isn't like—
I don't want to be here like, here I am, here's a car, you know what I mean?
Well, you wouldn't do it during the service, but like, I was only there for—
no, obviously not during the service, but at any moment, like, any moment during the thing, it didn't feel right because I was like, this isn't This is their day. Do you know what I mean?
And the bride and groom are on such a schedule. Like, everything is like, you know, like they're constantly doing stuff and talking to people and having to go here to do a photo or here to speak to this person. Yes.
So Natalie and I debated this for 4 hours. I'm like, well, he's going to have a car at the end of this. Like, and I know he's been wanting this and I know it'll mean a lot, but I also don't want the bride— I don't want it to be anything except about the bride. Yeah. So, but then I was like, I wonder if I asked the bride if she'd be like, obviously, fucking get in the car.
Yeah, I think you're overthinking it.
But you have to, because like you just have no idea. You like really have no idea, like what the per— like, and this is— and usually for the bride, it is the day that she's been imagining her entire life. So like me, cartoony-ass YouTuber walking in.
Yes, maybe she imagined you giving her something.
I don't know.
Well, that's the other thing too, like it wasn't— I mean, as much as they share everything, like I feel like it's a car for both of them, right?
Obviously.
Of course.
And you have to get something for both of them, and that was also it. Like, it was gonna be a car for him and then like X amount of money in the back, in the trunk for her.
Your friend is listening to this like, fuck, he doesn't listen to this.
This isn't a friend that would listen to this. Um, but that's why I'm saying it. But like, yeah, it was— this was like a big dilemma at the wedding day where I was just like— and we were ready, like, I picked the car out, I was ready to send like Natalie to go get it, but I was just like, I can't do it. There feels— there's something wrong about this. Really?
Maybe.
No, I just think I also just I think weddings in general, like, I feel like everyone would just be like, oh, just do it tomorrow, you know? But that, like, you're still like, like, on the actual wedding day, there's just so much going on.
To not make it about you. Oh, that's very kind. I wouldn't think that way.
But if I—
yeah, I'd be pretty, I'd be pretty selfish if I had that kind of money. I'd be like, I'm doing it now, I don't give a fuck.
If I was, if I was a, if I was a groom, I have like such a world perspective of everything, obviously, with 'Cause how I've—
Yeah, let's say you were getting married. I mean, obviously I'd be like, well, first off, I wanted to give you a car.
Well, my bride aside, 'cause it really, like, if my wife is like, this is her fucking day. Sure.
And she—
Bridezilla?
I don't know, actually, I don't see a reason why. No, no, no, no. You wouldn't care? If I like her, then I think we share like similar beliefs and things. Of course. 100%, fucking surprise me with whatever. That is so exciting. Yes. Make the day as memorable as possible.
'Cause that's also like your entire being and line of work, you know? Yeah, totally.
That's exactly why I couldn't, take my— I had to take my, like, perspective out of it because I was like, I can't put myself in his shoes because it's just not possible. Because if I was in his shoes, I'd be like, roll out the carpet, whatever you need to give me, bring out a Wheel of Fortune game for me to play, bring out the Cash Cab, bring out Howie Mandel, Deal or No Deal, I'll play it in the middle of this fucking ceremony, like, whatever it is.
But also, your friend knows that, like, you doing that makes you so happy. Yes, you love— you have, like, a giving kink.
I, I, I know.
I think your friend would be like, This is gonna fucking make Dave happy, so let me check this out.
But that's exactly why I can't do it.
Right, right, because it's selfish for you.
Yeah, it's to make me happy. So long story short, we didn't do it. That's funny. If that friend ever happens to come across this podcast, I'm so sorry.
Dave was being nice that day. He was being thoughtful that day, not giving you a car. He was being unselfish, not giving you a car.
But I really am curious about what the audience thinks about this.
The audience is gonna 100% agree with me. I mean, 100%. In fact, leave a comment if you guys think I'm wrong.
Talking about it like this, maybe they would.
But like, when you're in the situation, you just like—
especially after doing this 9 to 10 years. Yeah, like you really start to think about every single angle and perspective of everything. Sure.
Yeah, you have to. Yes, you have to think about every angle, don't you?
Like you think about— like you're not even thinking about the bride and groom, you think about the parents. You're thinking about like Okay, the groom gets this gift.
Now are the bride parents going to be angry because the bride didn't get an equal gift?
She got cash. She wanted a car. And now the bride parents are going to resent the groom.
It's just like, sure, you got to do the math. There's going to be jealous people at the wedding now.
Is that going to throw off the whole vibe where people are jealous?
Yeah, it's funny. When I do pitch you ideas, sometimes the reasons you don't want to do them are like, they're very obscure. They're very obscure. And I'll be like, huh? I'm like, oh, no, it wasn't that he didn't think it was funny. He didn't want to, like, go to In-N-Out and cause a scene. Yeah. Yeah.
Like, you know, did you see that Vardhan clip? Yeah.
Yeah.
You liked it. You liked it, Jay. Did I? Yeah. It said, like, liked by Jason. So Vardhan did this clip with this guy who does this. So basically he goes into, he goes into, like, In-N-Out or, like, fast food restaurants and they all dress up as different characters and they'll, like, I don't know. How do I describe it?
Just create havoc.
Create havoc inside the fast food restaurant where people are working.
And Vardhan showed me it after one was already posted. I'm like, Vardhan, this is like fucked up. This is illegal. Like, yeah, you shouldn't be doing this. And Vardhan's like, what? Vardhan genuinely had no idea. And it was me, Adam W., Jonah, you were here. Yeah. Like, we were all together and we were like, Vardhan, you can go to— like, you can actually go to jail for this. Like, you're like, like there's like laws against this. Like you're tampering with things like in a fast food establishment.
Like it's just bad. Like don't do this.
And Vardhan was like, what?
What the fuck? What?
This is bad. You sent him down a 2-hour stress tunnel.
But also like, yeah, but also like we knew that Vardhan didn't know and he thought it was just funny for everybody, which is totally fine. That's like beginner social media 101. Like when you're 18 years old, you make videos where you think everyone's having fun. Yeah. Where like, it's not like that.
It was shot really well though.
But yeah, anyway, it was posted and yeah, it crushed. Did it crush? It had like 400,000 likes on Instagram, which is like probably like 8, 9, 10, 11 million views. Damn. Um, and all the comments were like, is that Vardaan?
Yeah, I saw that.
And then some of the comments were like, this feels illegal. And then it's just that Jason Nash liked, even though we gave Vardaan this big talk about maybe how we shouldn't do that anymore. Um, But yeah, yeah, it's really fun.
I went to a game night Saturday night with brand new people, and it was so stressful to go out and meet new people.
Oh, that's really fun. Yeah. Like people not from the social media world?
No, they are from social media. Damn. Naveen met a girl here at your birthday party who's really great. And who? I don't wanna say her name, but she's great. And she, so then she went and had dinner with this girl, because she's like trying to make friends, you know, like, which I get. Like, I've taken away from all her friends. I feel bad. So, so she's like trying to make friends, and then she met this girl she really likes, and then the girl invited us for like couples night, and then she's like, let's go to this game night. And then I was like— then she's like, well, the only thing is, she's like, everyone's like 23. And I was like, ah, not again.
That's really funny. Not again.
I can't fucking shake it. So then we're driving over there, and we're like— I'm like, I can't go hang out with a bunch of 23-year-olds. And, um, and it ended up being great, and they were YouTubers. So I walked in and I did know a couple people. Remember Cam, who was on our podcast? The guy who made all the money? It was his house. Yeah.
Oh really?
Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's really—
it was great. So then I was like right at ease. I met this other guy named JoJo who's really great.
Well, how do you— how do you feel about that? About like being—
it sucks, but I'll be honest, people my age are so boring. They suck. They're all fucking dying.
Yeah, you're in a tough spot.
It's a tough spot. And Naveen's young, so Naveen's like, Naveen will go hang out with like 50-year-olds. She doesn't care. But it's like, I don't— I've like lost all those friendships. And then everyone who's 50 is so boring. It's like, oh, I'm having an MRI on Monday and so-and-so has cancer.
And, well, what's really weird about you is like, if you hang out with people your age, it's usually because they're drunks. Yes. Like, that's what would make them fun. Yes. Because they're just drunks. But you don't drink. You're not like— No, you're— you just have that youthful energy because you've been damned to eternal youth by hanging out with all of us that are like, you know what I mean? So like, you're around younger people like constantly. So like, yeah, so it's easier for you to like— you have the energy of like a younger person. Sure. It's either you hang out with drunk 50-year-olds or game night with 28-year-olds, which I kind of get. Yeah, I don't know, but they were great.
Do you see that TikTok of that woman? She like goes on a run every morning. I mean, I actually don't know if she goes on a run every morning, but she looks like it. Um, okay. Um, but, uh, at 4:15 in the morning, she shit herself on her run. She was—
she was—
it was a mile 5 and a half of a 22-mile-long run. Oh Jesus. And she shit herself, so she had to call her husband to pick her up. Yeah. And her husband like brought a towel and drove her home. But it was like all the comments were like You couldn't get like the Russian government to get this out of me.
And she like, I mean, she was just like sharing.
Good for her.
It's yeah, it's literally her going like, I just shit myself. I need help. I just shit myself. I called my husband and the husband's like so supportive. And it's like, and there's all these memes in the comments of like someone driving in the car with their head out the window trying not to smell it. But that's like pretty bold. Like if you shit yourself, would you call your husband?
I mean, yeah. Like, who else am I going to call?
You call Dave. You call your husband.
David's the last person that I would call. Really?
Because I would just be like, vlog camera in hand, ready to go. Yeah.
Or you just— Oh, Nat, please, can you shit yourself so we can have a clip in the vlog?
No, I actually don't think I would come.
You wouldn't put that— You don't? Of course you would.
No, I know. What would you do? I don't think I would. I would not call my wife. Like, I would be— If that happened to me, I'm like, Well, she was running in Chicago, so I'm wondering if she was running by the lake. I would have definitely gone into the lake, cleaned up, and then just, uh, and then wrapped a towel around her waist. Well, not only that, she was 5.5 miles away from home, so I think I would have just walked the 5.5 miles back.
If you were somewhere you could wash off?
No, even if I wasn't, like, if it—
you just leave the shit in your hands.
And it was funny because she had to call him at 4:15 in the morning. Oh Jesus. And he thought that like she was being like mugged, so he like, he said that he grabbed his gun initially because he's like, I'm about to, I have to shoot somebody. And it was like, no. Oh wow. Yeah.
What if you went out for a run, you shit yourself, what would you do?
Did you call John? No, straight up, I'm running back.
No, not with poop all over you.
I don't know if it's like possible. You'd get like really annoyed real quick and you just be like, fuck, I gotta just—
or I'd find like, um A hose in someone's yard. Jump into someone's pool.
No, you can't like break into their property, but you make it 10 times worse.
No.
Yeah. Yeah.
B&E.
Oh my gosh. Did I ever tell the story? I never told the story before. Are you ready for a fresh story? This is exciting. Wow.
I'm like, I'm ready. Yeah.
This is big. I may have already told it like 8 years ago, but I was hooking up with this girl once, like when I was living at the old house. And there were people outside my house, like our subscribers would sit outside my house, my old house, like throughout the night. And it like always stressed me out so much because I was just like, I don't know if anybody's here to shoot me. I don't know what the vibe is. This was like, I don't know what year this was, but this was when I lived at the old house.
Hey guys, what's the vibe out here?
Are you guys here to fucking shoot me in the head? Just want to know. So I noticed this and she was coming by. It was like nighttime. And I was like, I'll just meet you down the street. So I had this back route that I was gonna run to meet her on the street. I think I remember this.
Do you remember this?
I think so, yeah. Back route? You lived on a cul-de-sac.
Yes, but if you climbed down my hill, my really steep hill, you'd hit Zane's backyard. Right.
This is so funny.
So I was like, fuck it, I'm gonna go through Zane's backyard and I'm going to come out his front door and I'll meet her on the street, which is still in my neighborhood. Sure. But like, great, because I'm on a cul-de-sac. So I am at the end of the street, but up above Zane.
It's so funny when you come up with an idea like this, you're like, this is logical. Yeah. Yeah.
So I'm like, fuck it. So I go down Zane's hill. It's really steep. And then when I hit the bottom, Zane's fence is like 8 feet tall. So I'm like, okay, fuck, fine, whatever. So I climb the fence, and as I'm climbing the fence, my phone, my phone just falls right out of my pocket and makes the perfect bounce right into the pool. And into this, like, 7-foot pool. And, like, without hesitating, I jump right into the pool, like, fully clothed after my phone.
Wait, does Zane know that you're doing this, by the way?
Fuck no.
No, this is the middle of the night.
No one knows I'm doing it.
So I'm in his pool, like, pitch black, dark out. Like, you can't really hear anything other than maybe like, like an insect or something. And then I come out and I'm like, I'm like completely soaked, shoes on, everything. And I have to hop his fence once again from his backyard to the front yard to get out and to like, go like flag this girl down because my phone's not working anymore. And I know this girl is like, I have to intercept her before she gets to my house because I couldn't get the message out in time that I'm here at the address. So like, I come out, headlights are coming, and I'm literally in the middle of the road just like, hey, fucking soaked. And I stumble from like, from like a random house, like maybe 50 houses away from me. And I'm just like, like literally flailing my arms. I'm like, I gotta get in this fucking car. And she's like, what the fuck just happened? I can't explain.
And that's funny.
You want to get some dinner? Yeah, you don't mention it.
And then we get to my house and then we're like working on my phone. We get rice and like we're trying to get it back together. But that was it. It was like one of the funniest, one of the funniest.
Did the people see you come back all wet?
No, because then we pulled in, I closed the gate.
Oh, oh, oh, oh, you duck down. Yeah.
I just don't understand why she couldn't have just pulled in, you closed the gate, like on her own, why you had to go on a hike.
I don't actually know why I did. I don't know why I did all that. Uh, actually, I don't know, but it was—
but I was not thinking that day.
I remember when you woke— I don't know if you woke me up or if it was just the next morning and you told me this story and I just didn't believe him. I was like, what are you talking about?
I definitely woke you up. I mean, it's so— I, I felt like the scene was straight up when someone is all bloody in the middle of the road and there's headlights hitting them and they're like, hello. It like literally felt— it felt like I was dripping blood even though I was like just covered in pool water. But it was like the— and then I had to explain to her everything in the car. It was so funny. And there's no better— there's no better thing to like Like, that's the best icebreaker. I mean, I've hung out with this girl a couple times before this, like, maybe like our 7th hangout, but like, there's no funnier thing.
That is funny. Yeah, yeah.
Then like, you'll always have that. So misfortunate, like that happening. Yeah.
Um, remember when I was gonna go on a date with that really beautiful girl and then she got hit by a bus? No.
Why?
It was like when you lived at Cherryview. I was like, I'm gonna go on a date with this girl, so pretty, blah blah blah, I'm so excited. And then the day of, she's like, hey, I got hit by a bus.
My God, shut the fuck up.
And on Instagram, was it real? Yes.
And I was like, then you were like, you were like, Jay, oh yeah, you're like, Jay, she's fucking— she's letting you down. Like, she doesn't want to go on the date with you.
She's not— I, I don't even— I didn't even say that. I was like, she's not letting you down, she's like almost rubbing it in your face. Yeah, yeah. She's like, I so badly don't want this that I'm making up the dumbest excuse ever.
But then you go on Instagram and in the, in the main feed, she's in a full Oh my God, did you ever talk to her after?
No. That's crazy.
And like, I can tell the story now because like, she's fine, but I remember like, maybe I've told it before, I don't know, but that was wild. Did you—
did she like reach out at— did she reach out after?
No, we just kind of dropped it. I was like, okay, well, I hope you're okay.
Oh my God, John and Julia had the funniest story yesterday. What happened? So Julia. John's my roommate, my Filipino roommate. Yeah. And, and I was like, so how did you meet John? Whatever. And basically it was during COVID So like, it was hard for them to meet up. They talked for 2 weeks before they finally met up and John was going to go on a date with her and then he got a flat tire and she was like, okay, this is a bunch of bullshit. Like, he obviously didn't get a flat tire. He just doesn't want to hang out. I'm not— never talking to this guy again. And then he sent a picture of his flat tire in the mechanic shop. She's like, okay, fine, I'll give him a chance. And then they were going to hang out again. But then John was like, I have to hang out with my family. My family's in town. I'm so sorry. Like, they surprised me. I didn't know they were here. And she was like, what the fuck's going on? They still haven't met. And John's like, just come to dinner with me and my family. And she goes, what? I'm not meeting you for the first time with your family. Like, that's crazy. And he's like, just come, just come. And then finally the next day they hung out. But this is the funny part, is this was all of John's pictures were how John looks in, like, normally. But this was in— this was at the end of his Zealot transformation journey. Oh, so John looked completely different, like 80 pounds different than all his pictures. Yeah, but like, no, but like, John's— John's like a chubbier guy, but in all these pictures, chiseled jaw and abs. Yeah, sorry, in real life he is chiseled jaw and abs. In his pictures, he's like chubby guy. Yeah. So completely different. So she was like, she was like, she even texted her friend, right? Oh, she's like, I think he like may be sick or something because he doesn't look— he doesn't look anything like the pictures. And I'm like, wow, this is the first time anyone has gotten reverse catfished. Yeah. Yeah. Like, like John is coming with like, John's like, I'm so sorry. Like, I know I have abs and that's not what the pictures look like. Like, I know I look ripped, but I thought that was so funny. Like this guy is like, so much like, like plumpier in pictures, but he's showing up just like the best shape of his life. And she's just like, what the fuck? This isn't what you look like.
Um, but what a fucking strange encounter.
My friend Ilya made me do this.
Sorry, I'm so sorry. I'm gonna start eating a lot soon, I promise.
Well, this is interesting. Natalie looks different. She looks much happier and more— and brighter.
Say it, say it. And more in shape. I didn't say that. No, no, Bella's here right now joining us instead of Natalie. I'm back, guys. Guess what? We just hired Bella. Bella's officially on the team. Do you know that, Jay? I knew that.
Oh, I was here when you were deciding. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
You were against it.
It was between me and her. I think you're a little too old for this one. Yeah, yeah, we're gonna give it to Bella.
Well, what's your position?
Because I actually don't know.
Uh, Natalie calls me production coordinator. Oh yeah.
So Bella's here to help us with bits. Bella's good.
Bella's good. She's like, she's, she's— I've communicated with her on a couple things and she's really good.
What's the first thing you worked on? You worked on one bit already.
Oh, the thumbnail bit.
The thumbnail bit. Yeah, yeah. Oh yeah, how was that?
It was good. You know, I had to—
How's working here other than Zila?
Oh my gosh, it's so fun. No, I really love working here. I report to Natalie. Oh no.
Oh shit.
It's a little scary when she texts me in the middle of the night.
I don't see it. That is really scary.
She'll text me like 100 questions at once.
I fucking hate to to report to Natalie. Yeah, it's rough. That— I wouldn't work here if I had to send my vlogs to Natalie.
You do have to send your vlogs. Yeah, you do report to Natalie, you just don't know it, I guess.
Yeah, yeah, she kind of makes me feel like I'm in charge, but really I'm not.
Yeah, yeah, she'll say that to me. She's like, gotta make him think it's his idea. Okay, okay. And Natalie's amazing. I mean, Natalie— you need a Natalie.
That is an anchor with me. Yeah, that is the way, because you guys will be like, let's bring back the podcast. Like, that was like a discussion, and I'm like, fuck you guys. And then we were making the vlog, and I was like, dude, we should bring back the pod. And you guys are like, what? Genius. And now here we are bringing back the pod because I had a genius idea.
We had a crazy miscommunication, Bella and I, the first day, right?
My first day. You remember?
Wait, what happened?
She was like— she was texting me about the thumbnail bit.
Okay, so the thumbnail bit was In the last vlog, Jason had a bunch of thumbnails and they were funny. So it was like David coming out of the closet and it was a picture of me exiting the closet. Yeah.
Yeah. $1 pee versus million-dollar pee. Yeah.
They were all like funny titles and thumbnails for the vlog. And then, yeah, Bella, you upset Jason by something you said.
Jason, you explain.
She was texting me and Ferris and her were texting me and they're like, yeah, we're really worried about this bit. It's going to be stagnant. And I was like, all right. She goes, we're worried about delivery. And I was like, well, I'm just doing it as me. Yeah.
You got really offended. Yeah.
I was like, I was like, ask Ilya to do it.
I was like, well, I'm like, if you don't want me to do it, like, just have Ilya do it. Ilya would be really funny doing it. Really funny.
Because right when she told me that you said that, like, you're so funny because like, you're just like, when you're in your little panic mode, Jay, like the slightest thing could like set you off. Sure. Like sometimes your humor setting is down, right? And you're on like high alert, right? So like things that come at you like are sharper than, than they actually are meant to like come at you.
Well, she used the word delivery, which she didn't mean. She meant—
I know it's offensive to you.
She meant, she meant how is it going to go, not delivery, like how I'm going to say it. So I was like, delivery?
You know, right when she told me she said that to you, I'm like, oh, I know exactly.
Did you do the math on it? Yeah.
Yeah.
Oh, Jay's pissed. Jay probably, Jay's probably cussing you out to Nivi. Jay, I'm like, I just imagine you in your room just going like, This isn't even my fucking video. I don't want to fucking do this. Who cares if they don't think I can deliver it? They'll make another comedian. Just see you just fucking walking around your room. Probably not to that extent, but in that font is, I think, how you were upset. Yes. Were you guys squashing the beef, you and Bella? Yeah.
No, she immediately wrote back. She was like, no, I didn't mean delivery. I meant like how it was going to go.
But the damage was done.
No, it wasn't at all.
It was like 6 texts from Jason. And I was like, Ferris, what's going on in the group chat? He was like, you pissed him off.
I was like, shit, that's my first day. That's really funny.
Delivery is like, to me, is like, well, how the person giving their delivery, right? So I thought you were questioning that, and I was like, well, I'm just gonna do it as me.
No, she, you know, and that was actually a note from me, I think, too. I was like, it was like, I just want to make sure when we're doing this bit that like, there's like, we're— because that bit, I feel like if there's like 3 people in the room, yeah, That was a problem. If there's 3 people in the room, it could have gone really boring, right? Like, but since we have like 10, 15 people, like, there's so many people reacting to a lot of energy. A lot of energy.
If you could see David accomplish one thing in the next year on the vlog, what would you like to see?
On the vlog?
Like, it doesn't have to be a funny idea, but maybe just like something you'd love to see. Like, I don't know, film with Justin Bieber or whoever.
Like, what is like the goal of the vlog?
I'm always thinking about this, and it's just like, it's really hard because it's like every couple weeks you have to come up with a bunch of stuff.
I don't think there is like a North Star. I know this question was for Bella, but like, I—
but I'll, I'll take it.
But let me just field it as Bella. So what I think— you ask first.
I honestly think like—
so what I'm thinking is basically— I'm just kidding. All right, go, go, go.
No, I honestly think fans— and like just from your, um, vlogs coming back, the one I liked the most was the ones, or just bits in general, was you, Ferris, Nick, and his girlfriend in the car, and you're just like talking about Nick's sex life, and the girlfriend's in the back. That feels very like old school vlog, homey, um, original. And I think more moments like that are needed. Like, I definitely get— I agree with that. Celebrity appearances are amazing, but I also think like people crave like just being in your house and doing funny shit.
Like, it's just— Yeah.
Yeah.
So I think that—
I agree with that.
I really love because like this last vlog was sick, but I think more of the like—
I struggle with like, like this is, this is interesting because this is like back to the, like the MrBeast point we were making earlier about how he's like, he's made money such, such a big thing now and like it's, it's harder and harder to impress people. So like, okay, so here's what I'm trying to say. Like, I think the most genuine and impressive part of the videos is when we are just hanging out and shooting the shit, like either insulting each other, right? Or just making jokes about whatever it is, just shooting the shit. But for some reason, I've made so many and I live that life like that is my every day is where we're just insulting each other. Where the more amusing things to me is like when we're out partying and there's like a fun montage I could put together or there's a fun montage I could put together like on a boat, but like that stuff is easy. Do you know what I mean? I want the hard stuff. Like, no, no, like, like that's like, like, like to any, any other YouTuber, like that's kind of like the easy thing to get. Like you could just like, like MrBeast, do you know what I mean? Like Steve will do it, got a McLaren in the video. Yeah. Which for me is like, yes, I fucking love car surprises. But it's so easy now to do that kind of stuff where that's not like what's so interesting. What's interesting is just like the the more just literally just friends hanging out. Sure, sure.
Day to day. Natalie walked into a bee's nest.
I mean, that's amazing.
It's really good. We should try to set up actually. Can we put a bee's nest somewhere? No, but like, yeah, like the more like grounded stuff just like plays so much better and it's like so much more fun.
But for some reason—
That's harder to come by though.
Yeah, but like I'll watch like, I'll watch like crypto channels, like videos, like, like young crypto kids or like young kids that make a lot of money., and all their videos will be really good. It'll be like really fun partying. They'll be in Monaco. You'll see nice cars. You'll see like beautiful boats, beautiful people and all this. And I'll be like, wow, this is such a fun video to watch. And then I'll realize, oh my God, there's like 15 to 30 people making this exact video. Right. But what they're not making is like, you know, yeah, this Jason and Natalie, you know, Jonah calling Natalie a whore. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And Natalie calling Jonah fat. Like they're not. In different ways, but like they're not making that video. So I don't know. So I'm like, it's sometimes I get lost and like I kind of want to make the video that's like more fun and looks cool, but then it's like, that's not as exciting because it's so accessible to anybody. Yes.
Does that make sense?
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I forget, like when Bella says like, yeah, the funniest moment is when we're just in the car shooting the shit, but I never pull my camera out for those moments because it's so regular. Right. We're just in the car. We do this every day. But you should. But I think that's what people want to see. For sure.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
So yeah, I don't know if I explained that properly.
No, you did. There's eye candy and then there's like grounded, like little bits, day to day. That's the stuff that grounds it and that's what gives it the personality and connects you to people. Yeah. It's like your relationship with Jonah is so funny. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So you just have to bring your camera out more. That's all.
Yeah.
Keep vlogging.
Okay, thanks. Always be filming. Yeah, I've always— and I also— not that I'm having this problem, But like, I always wanted to make sure that, you know, like when— like I've talked about this on the podcast before, like when like an artist like makes a movie too much, like when you like— it's better with music, musical artists. When like a musical artist makes songs for too long. Yeah. They start to go really, really niche. Yes.
Do you mean exactly?
Like they'll start as a pop star, but they'll be doing it for so long, they'll just like love this. Like really, like they found their lane 15 years later. They're not into just the basic pop music. They're doing like something like really grungy and like—
Yeah, or like Lady Gaga went and did an entire album with Tony Bennett. It was like a jazz album. It's just like not for everybody, right? Yeah, but it's what she wanted to do. Yeah.
Yeah.
Is that what you mean? Yeah.
I don't love that. Sure. It's not your thing. I've never loved that type of stuff. Yeah. Yeah.
But what's your point?
I don't have a point.
I just wanted to let people know. I've always thought that was bizarre. Like, I always thought like—
But you have to grow as an artist. That's what it is. It's like Lady Gaga, she made an amazing pop album. I guess just to try it, right? Yeah. Like, you have to like— Yeah. That's what makes a great artist. And that's That's what makes you great, Dave, is like you're always— Thanks, man.
I'm like Lady Gaga.
Yeah, you're like Lady Gaga. I mean, you're always, you're always like pushing and you're never— you'll even say like, yeah, we did that bit, like let's try something else. And that, that's what makes you great.
Yeah, we did do a lot of bits.
Yeah, you know, damn, you said bring the alien back.
We're like, well, we did it. No, I want to bring the alien back.
Yeah, you do.
Okay, I think so too. That's really—
I think the alien bit is like— and it's like, um, it's more popping than it was. Like, aliens is like Sure, it's like a bigger topic nowadays. Sure, they're— dude, you're so funny as an alien. Oh, thanks. And once the fucking— oh my God, it's my favorite bit when Madison Beer was in her Rolls-Royce and you stumbled upon her in the car. Oh yeah, as an alien. I mean, it's like so good. Yeah, I got lucky that day. Madison Beer, the hottest woman on the planet, and then an alien, the— you're just an intergalactic person that's not from this planet. It's like such a good combination. It's crazy.
I was in the makeup that day and you just happened to be with Madison Beer in a Rolls-Royce. Is that what happened? That's amazing kismet.
Well, that's how it used to be, right?
Yeah, yeah, yeah. I would call you, be like, I can't right now.
I was watching—
I'm with Chris Rock's kids.
I was watching Zayn's birthday video. I thought it was so funny.
It was like—
Oh yeah, I saw it. Yeah, you were here, right? When I put it on, it was so funny because we went to go shoot Zayn's birthday. We were surprising him and it was like Kendall Jenner, Kaia Gerber, Olivia Jade, Stassi. It was like all of those girls like were at my house and we were planning on how to like surprise Zane. So I was like, well, Zane, we should just surprise Kendall. You should be the surprise because you're a fucking superstar. So that's enough of a surprise. Um, so we did that. And then like the girl stayed back and picked a cake at my house. Yeah, which is really funny. While we went and we went to the bar to surprise Zane with a mariachi band, which is like such a funny thing. It's like, yeah, it was just so much— everyone was so young, right? And no one had anything better to do than just to like hang out.
Yeah, that's a good lesson for everybody out there. Like, enjoy your days where you don't have anything to do. If you're—
yeah, you're younger. We had nothing to do.
It was like, what bar are we going to?
And like, everyone was just— it was so fun. And everyone was just like, how do we keep the night going? And then we repeat it the next day. Yeah.
And now everybody has a tequila company now. Yeah.
Now everyone, everyone has a product or something. It's like, it's a lot. But I mean, I guess that's just how, like, life works.
You got to keep fighting to get those moments back, you know. You're really good at that, David. You're the conduit. You're the glue. But you can't forget that. You have to push and be that guy. Without you, it doesn't work.
I'm not complaining. I'm just saying that it's just like, it's really fun. And I know moments don't last forever, right? But I always, I love, I love, dude, every time I'm with Olivia or Stas or anybody, it's like, we all, like one of the first 3 things we bring up is like, that was crazy. Yeah, that was because like none of them do that. Nobody does that. Nobody. It's not like it's like a, it's like a thing. Like we don't, we don't like go out as much. It's like everyone's just older.
Also love on The Views podcast for you guys to bring back just like random facts. Random facts. You guys are just like bring facts and be like, I don't know if this is true. This was like a Snapchat news story, but I'm reporting on it.
Oh, you like learning from us?
Yeah, I've been listening to The Views podcast since I was in college, like when I was 18.
Well, here's a little fact: all-female nightclub closed after the first night because no one bought a single bottle of liquor. Wow.
Is that not a joke?
No, it's true. Oh really? Where you're putting on—
oh, that's kind of funny. All-female nightclub. This is the stuff you wanted, Bella?
Yeah.
No, it was more like— that one was a little hard to digest.
Okay, we can try something else.
You got a fact, Dave, for all female nightclub? Do you like that? Does that sound fun? No, no, no. Why?
No, you want guys there.
It's good if you're a lesbian. Oh, okay.
Wait, wait, what?
It's good if you're a lesbian. Is it?
Is it though? Sure. It's like you probably feel 30 times safer in a nightclub, but like, why do you want a guy there? Uh, aren't you married?
Yeah, um, I'm not speaking for me, I'm speaking for like, like other women that listen to the podcast, they would for sure want guys there. No, they just bring like that energy. I don't know, I'm straight, you can't really like ask me this. Maybe my sister who is lesbian would like that, but I don't even think she would.
Yeah, I don't know. I mean, I think it's probably really cool. What if he starts out great?
Well, I'm on all guys nightclub. Yeah, that was— they have those. I didn't even get it. I was like, that'd be fun. Um, no, there is some like—
there is something cool about that. Great, man.
Just guys.
All right guys, well before Bella reveals any more sensitive information about herself, we should end this podcast. Thank you guys for listening. Thanks for Natalie joining in, Bella for joining in, Jason Nash, thank you so much for being the co-host. Thank you. You got what, 2 more weeks left till you start looking for somebody new?
Yeah, I'm moving to Boca.
Okay, see you guys soon. Bye.