Calling My Ex-Wife

What's up guys, welcome back to Views. Who do you think the dumbest is here? Be honest.

I mean, like, how are we measuring dumbness?

Just by straight up looking at— like, obviously Natalie looks the dumbest, right?

No, she looks the smartest.

I know, I was just kidding. Oh, why you gotta— sometimes just fucking roll with the punches here, brother.

I mean, she's so dumb looking.

Now, who do you think is the dumbest? We'll give you the option.

I mean, you're definitely the goofiest looking.

Yeah, yeah. Okay, fair enough.

Like, when I look at you, I don't expect much, but then you give more. You, you are the king of under-promising and over-delivering.

That's the kind of guy I am. Okay, what is Jason? Jason looks like Jason is— Jason is over-promising, under-delivering. When Jason dresses really nicely. Yeah, like, because you could look like—

yeah.

If I saw you at like a high net worth party and with your like— and if you were on, sure, I'd be like, this guy's a billionaire.

When he's dressed properly or not?

Yeah, when he's dressed properly and he's feeling himself. Yeah.

Yeah.

I don't know.

The night I was with Adam Sandler, I was feeling myself. I looked good. Naveen dressed me.

There's not a lot of, you know, like the one thing I've always thought I was good at, but that I'm not good at is connecting with Like billionaires?

I'm terrible at it.

I'm actually not good at it at all.

I mean, I think it's a challenging thing to do in general. Like, I think that's kind of the reason they're a billionaire, right? It's like they're kind of out there doing their thing. They're not really—

yes, they're connected with other people, but I think Natalie's fake good at it because people want to get to you and they have to talk to Natalie.

I think that was just fake, full stop, period. It's a fake ass. No, I mean, Natalie has the advantage that like she like comes in like under the radar are.

Like, she looks like someone you could talk to. She's gonna listen.

She's very soft.

Yes. Yeah, yeah.

And that's how I am. That is my general nature and being.

And you're just like, oh, like, what is she— like, people think she's like my girlfriend, and then I'll be like, no, she's actually the boss around here.

Oh, and then people would be like, come on, don't turn me on like that.

Okay, dude, I don't like when you've had meals. She just ate. That's why she's horny. No, genuinely, that's why you're— that's why the Yeah, you walked in here and you started like blowing kisses at me.

No, I didn't. I was like, I don't like that.

I don't— I'm not doing any more of these pods like after she's fully fed.

She's flushing.

Okay, I know you guys don't hear that, but what did you have? Because it's fucking— I don't like when Natalie has chicken more energy than me. It pisses me off.

Oh, oh, oh, oh, am I outshining you, superstar?

Didn't you just have a chicken parm sub?

Yeah, I did.

So you should be good.

Well, I don't power up like Natalie.

Get on my level.

Oh, you're saying Natalie takes—

I power up at night. Like, at night is I have the energy.

Yeah, it comes out at night. Yeah, it takes you a while to heat up, dude.

You know what's been really interesting about my nighttime routines?

What is—

ever since I started wearing eye masks. Yeah, and turning down the temperature in my room big time. Yeah, so I've changed. You know, I used to be like an up-temperature guy. I'm still at 71. Oh, but that's like really cold for me. That's good because I'm coming from 75, 76.

I sleep at 70.

Yeah, that's very— that's a lot of heat. Well, I sleep like 65 and put the covers over you.

I think that's crazy.

That's really cool.

I also leave the bed like 4 or 5 times a night to pee.

Yeah.

So like, I don't—

if my room was that cold, I wouldn't get out of bed in the morning. That's my problem with that.

Oh, okay.

Oh, that is scary. Okay, so anyway, listen, ever since I started wearing an eye mask, I— every time I go to bed, I'm like, I really don't remember trying to fall asleep. Like, every time I'll go to bed, I'll be like, how was How did I fall asleep last night, the night before? And I was like, I don't remember having any trouble after I put on the eye mask. And every night I'll think about this and I'll be like, fuck, now that I'm thinking about it, it's going to be hard for me to fall asleep. Yeah. Every night I go through the same thing and every night I am out 3 minutes after I put on my eye mask. It is fucking magical. I don't know what's going on. I've never been able to do anything like this. Well, I used to fall asleep very easily, but like in the last 3, 4 years since I've been doing an eye mask, the last like year, year and a half, It's changed my life. I highly, highly recommend wearing eye masks. I cannot— I don't know.

I wear one.

Does anything you say— well, you wear like a whole contraption. You wear like a thong around your mouth or something, right?

I used to. I've tried everything.

What is that?

It's when you have sleep apnea.

You have to wear your wife's underwear?

Yeah, you put on a jaw bra.

It's called jaw bra.

Jaw bra.

And it keeps it shut?

Yeah, it keeps your mouth shut so you can breathe through your nose.

So the Oh, same as mouth tape.

Yeah, kind of like mouth tape. Yeah.

Have you tried mouth tape?

I've tried mouth tape. I've tried it all.

Yeah.

You really just need to keep the weight off and I'm fine.

You know, I found your headshots.

From where?

The one that we were talking about last podcast.

Yeah.

Like, you signed something. Paparazzi came.

It's on the web already?

$85.

Shut the fuck up.

Yeah, I forgot.

$85?

Fucking— Crazy. Shut up! I'm being serious.

There's no way.

I mean, do you remember the hoodie you were wearing?

Sure.

Okay, because it's in my vlog. Huh? Oh, it's in the vlog? Yeah. Okay, hold on.

What is the hoodie?

I can't believe you went and looked.

You were wearing an Oregon State hoodie.

That's right.

This was you when you signed the autograph.

Wow.

Right?

Wow. Yeah.

Yeah.

Wait, so what?

He put the photo of you?

$78.

Wow. Yeah.

Oh my God, Jason, that headshot is nice.

Well, no, this is the one he signed. You signed this goofy one, right? The—

I signed like 8 different ones.

Oh, this was one of them.

That's one of them.

Classic.

And then was this another one of them?

Yep.

That's crazy. These headshots are horrible. All right, but I did put in— I'm currently the highest bidder.

You're bidding on it?

Well, someone's gotta buy them.

That's really—

someone's got to keep this paparazzi guy employed.

That's actually funny.

Um, what do you mean what's funny?

The fuck?

Well, just like, like what if we had a wall of like all of our friends like autographed headshots? I feel like that'd be really cool. I've been thinking about that like in my home, like how do I incorporate more things? Like I love how you love Marvel and you have Iron Man here. Like having like when you're a kid, you don't have passions. Oh God.

Maybe you do have pictures of people. We were just at your house.

What are you passionate about, Natalie? Genuinely answer that question, because I know I just kind of joke about with you, but now that I've said it and I've realized you don't like actually like love any show, I'm kind of like, oh my God, love any show?

Yeah.

Like, like, what do you like? I'm kidding when I say you don't have any passions because I know like I get under your skin.

You're not kidding.

I know I'm not kidding. But right now. But what? Yeah. What do you like? Enjoy.

What do I enjoy? I enjoy reading.

Boring.

Okay.

What are you reading right now?

I gave John $1,000 yesterday. Okay. If he— hold on, I'm getting to you.

I love when you yell into the other room, $1,000 if you can catch it or whatever. That's great.

I just offered him $1,000 if he could read a page off a book without stuttering. He got like 2 paragraphs and it was fucking insane. And then I tried it. I only got 3 paragraphs and it's actually really hard if you don't read. So I'm giving you credit here.

Okay. I mean, like, I have a passion, but it's so fucking lame and stupid that I don't want— it's embarrassing.

Okay. What is it?

It's not good. Like, it's not going to make me look good, so I don't want to say it.

What is it?

Shopping.

Oh, yeah.

That's like, not even like beyond shopping. Like, I just like— because I don't purchase things all the time, right? But I just love like looking at like the fashion and the style. Like, what's the new things? Like, I genuinely—

I mean, actually, I guess that's kind of—

I guess you could say fashion.— is your passion?

Yeah, but I don't dress up on the day-to-day, but I have an appreciation for it.

So you like watching TikToks? No, I go on TikTok. Is that a passion, watching TikToks? I guess so. It is, right?

It's not something that's respected as a passion.

Right, right, right, right, right.

And I just, yeah, I like to go, I like, you know what's so fun for me? When I find a designer bag discounted or a vintage one, I just, I love that.

Right? And you get a good deal on it. You go to The RealReal.

Yeah, even if it's not a good deal.

You don't care if you don't find anybody with this lack of passion?

No, that's why I didn't even want to admit it, because that's like the number one red flag.

Why don't we make up things for you to say when you meet guys?

Why don't I find a hobby? I really want to get into like tennis.

I don't know.

What about sailing?

No, I need to get a sailboat.

Sailing is tough.

I'd like to see Natalie go out there and sail a boat by herself.

I have sailed before. I can sail.

You can? Yeah.

You can?

Yeah, I could go. I mean, like a little one, like a little, uh, like sunfish.

Yeah. Oh, you even know the name. There you go. That's the start to a passion.

I went to camp, guys.

You could join the tennis club.

No.

Yeah, I've thought about that. I just like don't— if I was like playing tennis like in the middle of the day.

You know what you should do that actually probably help your job? What?

Golf.

I thought about that too.

I feel like though you'd crush that.

Yeah, I could do that.

You like golf?

Uh, that'd be really fun.

I've never golfed before, but I can't hit the ball straight. Is there anything— is there a hobby I could have that doesn't indirectly benefit you? Maybe it's just something just for myself. Um, yeah, I don't know.

Unless you love golf.

Call of Duty.

Fall in love with it.

What is it? Call of Duty.

What, like, what is an adult passion? Like, my work is my passion. Unfortunately, that's you. I guess you're my passion, baby.

We've been loving painting. We love painting.

What do you mean we've been loving painting?

Naveen, dude. No, I know, but like, no, I know, but like, is Naveen painting or is Jason painting?

No, I paint my own things. She's much better than I am, but I love art.

What's the worst part about being married?

The worst part about being married is I'm not always in a good mood. And so it's really hard to be in front of somebody when you're in a bad mood. So it's like, she'll be like, you tell her to get away. No, that's the thing is you can't say get away, I'm in a bad mood. I never do.

Tell her to be careful, like, and my farts is bad too. Well, yeah, that's something new. Did you say, do you say something like watch out, my fangs are out today? Or is it like a catchphrase that you say?

No, yeah, I'm not a 17-year-old girl. Okay, watch out, my fangs are out today.

Who am I calling right now? Jay, Jay just threw me the phone and I'm calling somebody. My mom.

Say hello.

Oh, hello. Hi, Lorraine, it's Dave.

David, how are you, sweetheart?

I'm so good. How are you? Jason, Jason just threw me the phone like a bomb and said— and your, your name is saved in his phone as Eduardo 2.

That's from an old podcast.

Oh really?

I was tricking you once on the podcast so you didn't know it was her, and I typed— I changed her name to Eduardo 2, but I never changed it back.

That's crazy. It's like you're a spy. How have you been, Lorraine?

Hanging in there. Yeah, I'm good.

How are you doing? How's the, um, I mean, I guess, you know, how's old age?

Not great, but better than the alternative.

Being young? Wait, what do you mean? Oh, oh, oh, being dead. I don't think— I think you have too much energy to be leaving soon. I think you unfortunately may be living till 100, so you're gonna be sticking around for a while.

Yeah, sorry. You're stuck with me for a little while longer.

Why haven't you come and visit?

I don't know. Well, I don't know. Jason's been coming here.

He has doctor's appointments every week, so it's very hard to leave for a week.

Oh.

She has the doctor 2, 3 times a week, right, Mom?

How's Natalie?

She's right here.

I'm good, Lorraine. How are you?

Oh, hi sweetheart, how are you?

We're still both really single, Lorraine. I mean, I'd hate to bring this up in front of my ex-wife, but do you see anything in the future for us?

No, no, don't get married. No, you're too young. The longer you wait to get married, the better chance you have of it being a successful marriage.

Really? Is this that you've seen this more so with your friends, or is this just around— this is just you, or is this something you've—

no, it's a fact. You have to find out who you are before you start standing somebody else. Until you know who you are and what you want, how are you going to find out who's the right one for you?

But I'm David, 2019 Kids' Choice Award winner. Like, I've, I've known this since this— I've known this for 6 years. But okay, I mean, I understand.

I understand that, but that's a persona. What about the real David?

Oh, you're right. No, no, I hear you.

You know what I mean? That's your— you're a celebrity, so that's your celebrity. Okay, when you're in a relationship, an intimate relationship of marriage, or just even— you don't have to get married— even just living with someone. You can't just do that. You have to figure out who you are, what you want financially, make sure you're all set. You're not supporting everybody else. You've got enough money.

Oh, Jason, it's like she's speaking straight to you.

No, no, Jason knew what he wanted. He knew what he wanted.

Yeah, okay, you're right. Okay, all right, I'm gonna take all these things into consideration.

Yeah, I mean, I think like, you know, if you had a girlfriend now You would have to kind of cooperate, you know? And you have to share, and maybe you don't want to see the same movie. Maybe you're not even happy, but she is, and you've got to go have dinner. And you've got to decide together, right? Everyone says to me, oh, I know somebody. I'm going to fix you up. That's like giving me bone cancer. I don't want anybody in my life. I eat when I want. If I'm not hungry, I don't eat at all. Sometimes I have a big lunch and I don't want to eat dinner.

I'm just—

that's a lot of work. I'm confused at how you're being so negative about relationships. It almost feels like the month we were together genuinely meant nothing to you. That's different.

You were special, guys.

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You love this Olivia Dean, huh?

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I'm alone this week. Vin's gone.

Oh, whoa, that means you have like a lot of room for activities.

Lot of room. Yeah. Do you want to take me to, you know, if I could take you guys out to dinner if you want.

Oh, it's what time?

What day? Any day. Tonight, tomorrow.

We're watching Bourne tonight if you want to come. You are? I'll be there.

Oh, should I, should we go to dinner before? I'll take you guys to dinner. Nice place.

I have a paddle tournament this weekend. You do? Yeah. I also have to practice today.

And that's off the glass?

Isn't that crazy? I kind of just like do things like that.

It's pretty cool. So crazy.

It's like, no, isn't it weird that you play paddle? Yeah, it's like cool to be like doing stuff like that. Like, I feel like an adult.

What's the tournament like?

Are you—

we have a partner or just you?

Yeah, it's all amateurs. Okay. I have no idea who's playing in it. Oh, hi. But yeah, I'm like assigned a partner. Takes 12— it's $1,200 to enter. If you win the tournament, you win 12 grand.

So you're gonna show up, a guy you don't know, it's just like, hey, you're— yeah, this is—

it's all friends of friends, all Beverly Hills kids.

Oh, fun. Yeah, well, so what's the prize?

$12 grand. Oh wow.

Yeah.

Oh wow. You want to come into matches? Yeah. Oh, you're free this weekend?

I am free.

Oh yeah, you should come. You'll like it. Okay. Because I got really nice houses. Really?

Yeah, just hang out and just vibe. Yeah, talk to people. Yeah, don't be weird.

Yeah, don't be weird.

Don't be weird. Hey, did you see Michael Jordan pat that kid on the butt?

Shut up, Jay. Hey, uh, Taylor, can you prepare all my stuff for paddle?

Prepare my things. I have important things to do this afternoon.

Not suck my own fucking dick.

He's not even going to—

And then put my finger in Ilya's ass.

Okay, see, hold on, now I know why you get mad at me. It's because you think I like Ilya more than you, which I do.

I actually strongly have flipped the switch on that one.

So you think I hate Ilya? Well, listen, I'm not going to say who I like more. Sure. I got my blood work done. Okay.

This is the root of all my problems, Jason.

Well, actually it is. I found out what I'm allergic to. Oh, and this has been a long time. Pussy. Yeah. This has been a— I'm allergic to pussy. My doctor's like, yeah, we figured it out. No, but this has been a long time because for a long time I've made up my allergies because I don't want to try certain foods. So I'll just say I'm allergic. I completely lie. Okay. But my doctor said, there's something surprising came up. You lit up for almost everything in terms of allergies. Ooh. What? Yeah, yeah. I'm gonna read 'em off and then I'm gonna tell you my top ones. Ready? Almond, barley, white bean, carrot, coconut, corn, garlic, hazelnut, macadamia nut, orange, green pea, peanut, pecan nut, pistachio nut, potato, rice, rye, sesame seeds, soybeans, strawberry, tomato, walnut, wheat, And then every type of tree you can imagine, with my strongest allergic tree being to oak. Wow. Which actually shows why I fucking hate my neighbor's trees so much. They're all oak trees that I can't cut down. So it's all making a lot of sense. And then of course, cat and dog. Cat being far superior. It's like rated from like 1 to 15 of like how much it bothers you. And like my mac— like my strawberry's at 0.33. Okay, which isn't a lot. Fucking very little, right? Right, right, right. And then like my hazelnut is at 6.56, which I will preface with I love fucking Nutella and it doesn't bother me, so I don't know what's going on there.

But you don't know that it could be causing like internal inflammation or something.

Something must be going— yeah, yeah, he's saying like it could like— yeah, exactly. And then carrot is a 4.8 and, uh, cat is at 14.5.

Wow, no way.

When Tay brings your cat over, do you get upset for sure. And then also your body changes every 7 years.

Like, I remember that's probably what's happening here.

When I was in my 20s, I would get terrible pollen and then it just went away.

Oh, he said— he also said, are you taking testosterone? And I said no.

Oh, that's what I thought you were going to get at.

Yeah, he said, are you taking testosterone? I said no.

And did you— why? Because your testosterone's so high? Yeah. Oh, okay.

This is interesting, right? Yeah, that's how he responded too. I was like— he goes, it just means you're— you got a lot of energy in you. And I'm like, that's weird, cuz that's not how I feel. I don't know.

But don't you masturbate like pretty frequently?

I don't do it cuz I'm horny. You're literally the one that brought up how often I masturbate.

But men— no, I said don't you masturbate frequently? You could just say yes. Like, I don't need to know how many times and where you're doing it.

I'm just going to tell you when I'm doing it. Do it every night and morning. Nice. That's a lot. I do it right before waivers meetings.

I think—

I mean, did you do it before this one? Um, uh, are you not finishing? No, no, no, I don't know. High testosterone, which could lead to weight gain.

So high testosterone leads to weight gain?

Could be, yeah. And muscle building. It's either muscle building or weight gain, and I'm not building muscle, so therefore it's weight gain.

Have you seen all these peptides that make your face look really sculpted?

I'm scared of peptides. I'm dying to try them. Actually, I'm not hearing about anything, but are there negative side effects? I don't know why.

We don't know yet.

Oh, right. That's what you said. Yeah. Did you say this to me on the podcast last?

Maybe I did.

Yes. That's so crazy. That's how bad my memory is. Last part, you could— you should— you know what you should do? Yeah. You should talk to me one day about all topics we've talked about on the pod and see how close you can get to recreating an old podcast without me knowing. I mean, genuinely, it's pretty fucking insane. It's really crazy. Like, I should have asked him for my memory, but I don't think that's in your blood. I wish I'd learn more about myself through him because, like, genuinely, there's something wrong with my memory. Do you remember people's names?

Yeah, I'm very good with names. Really? Yeah, but I have trouble with like—

because I feel like we've met people before and you're like— and I have to tell you that, Jason, you've met them before.

Yes. Yes, I do have a problem with you when I'm with you because everybody looks the same to me. Everybody's younger, just like some younger influencer dude. And it's like, okay, okay, that's really tough. Like, did you just introduce me to people? And I'm like, I don't know who that is. That's tough. But if someone tells me their name and I spend time with them, I do remember. Okay.

Do you remember the furniture guy that just came by?

I never got his name. He never told me his name.

Are you sure? What was it?

Thomas. Yeah, actually, I shook his hand. You're right.

Okay. So you're not— Yeah, no, I don't know. There's something wrong with my memory. I feel like I've stopped retaining things in my memory since, like, senior year of high school.

That's because you're on TikTok all day.

That's where I stopped. Oh, so they say like a lot of people, like a lot of people in our entertainment, in entertainment are like frozen in the time that they started doing something other than like a regular, like life. Does that make sense? Like they'll say like, like I never went to college, so I'm kind of frozen as my 21-year-old self or 20-year-old self, which is kind of interesting. But I don't think I'd ever like, I don't think college would've matured me.

Yeah. I was hoping that maybe some other things would mature you, but I guess we're kind of out of luck there, you know?

What do you mean other things?

Just like life.

It would have matured you in the sense that you would have like maybe gone and got a regular job and you would have maybe had like more of like a sense of independence for things.

I'm pretty independent.

You're like the most codependent person I know.

I know. Just wanted to hear you guys say it.

I liked in the movie last night, made me laugh so hard. We were all watching the movie and David got upset. Not upset, but he's just like, Alex maybe was falling asleep.

Dude, Alex, Jason. Yeah. Okay, so we were watching Bourne last night, which was great. Yeah, we're watching another Bourne tonight. I texted Jason and John on the side. I'm like a— I'm like, what do you call that? A wedding Nazi bride? Bridezilla. I'm a bridezilla when it comes to watching movies. Yeah. And it's nothing I can do. Like the other day, like Taylor was here and she was like kind of on her phone and Julia and John. Oh, Alex. Sorry, this was the one that was pissing me off. Alex was on the couch. DJing with his headphones on. He just wanted to be with us. Yeah, but he couldn't watch anything. He just wanted to hang out there. Yeah, and Taylor was on her phone and we couldn't figure out a movie to watch. John and Julie were there and I was like, listen, I don't mean to like say this in a way where I'm like trying to get your guys's attention or anything, but I think I'm just gonna go upstairs and watch a movie by myself. Yeah, because I just like— it's, it's so— I— it's incredibly frustrating. It's distracting. Yeah, when people aren't paying attention to your movie.

Yeah, it's—

or whatever movie's playing, it's just like so It aggravates me so much. And Alex, like, on his DJ set, it's like you're not even contributing to, like, the debrief afterwards. It doesn't make any sense to me. Yeah, but yeah. Okay, so we're watching the movie. What happened?

And I just— I guess Alex maybe closed his eyes for a second and David just was like, Alex, it was like you were like 10 years old. Like, Alex, dude, you know, don't go to sleep. Are you sleeping, Alex? Come on, pay attention. And I was like, oh my God.

No, it was really weird. I looked over and he was like rubbing the back of his head. And that's what first caught me. And I was like, what is he doing? It looked like he was like possessed. He was like, slowly wobbling his head back and forth, like nodding. It's like it was almost like he was doing it like for me to see. And then I slowly started seeing his eyes shut, like he was like losing like the life force out of him. And I was like, yo, are you up? The best time to watch movies with Alex is when he has a DJ gig afterwards. So he's drinking a Celsius at 10 PM.

Oh yeah, he's really locked in. And how much do you love that debrief?

I mean, I love— the best part about watching movies is afterwards. You love it. The movie shuts off and I'm like, I always ask Alex what he thinks first because I think he's the toughest critic. Yeah. Because he just like doesn't like regular things. You actually really helped being at movie night yesterday.

Oh good, how?

You like added sound effects and they're like, uh, Jason Bourne would do something and you'd be like, wow! And I think it would like— and it kept Alex up. There was also a moment— we're coming from James— we're coming from watching the series of James Bond to Jason Bourne. Yeah. And it's like a very drastic difference in terms of like chase scenes and like Like, James Bond makes at least the first Jason Bourne look like it's a high school movie in terms of chase scenes. Yeah. Like, it's just not up to the same standard. It's not as pretty. It's dark. It's Parisian. It's like it's raining. And you— there's like music playing that wasn't as cool as like the Bond soundtrack. It was very Bourne. And you like put your hand up in the air and you're like, you were doing that. And I was like, oh, this is good for Alex because I think like Alex is stimulated by like those kinds of movements. Yeah. So I was like, okay, Jason's keeping Alex up. This is good.

It had a very specific 2001 soundtrack, 2002 soundtrack.

And sometimes during the movie you'll turn to Alex and I don't know what you're saying, but it does look like you're helping the cause because you'll— I think you're spitting out fun facts or you'll be like—

I was asking what was going on.

That's good too. Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, I think you do a really good job of like—

Thanks, man. I love being here. Yeah, we watched Steve Will Do It's video before that. We've done that twice now. Yes, like a great little appetizer.

Yes, Steve will do it, post it. He did a house tour of his house and his house has like 10 different— not 10, like 20, 30 different like figurine statues. Yeah, like I have an Iron Man, but he has like 3 Iron Mans and a C-3PO, like a bunch of Stormtroopers, Chewbacca, Darth Maul, Darth Vader, all the fucking figurines, and I gave him my R2-D2, and I gave him my Japanese Darth Vader. These were all in return for things that he's given me. Like when he gave me the Ferrari, I was like, you have to take something from my house, and he wanted the R2-D2. So I was watching this video of this new house tour he has. He bought a new house in Vegas, and he's finally doing a house tour. I was like, where's my R2-D2? I was so excited to see it, and it was right by his bed. Yeah, in his room. I thought that was very sweet.

Probably means a lot to him.

Yeah, I was like, that's really sick. And then his Japanese Darth Vader was in his bathroom. So I was like, wow, that's really sweet that like they meant so much to him. Yeah, it's hard to get somebody like that gifts because they just have so much money they could buy anything. But to see, you know, it means something because it's yours. Yeah, I mean, I treasure that R2-D2 so much.

They should play his videos before movie theaters. That would be kind of cool instead of trailers.

That's really funny.

It'd be sick.

People would be so confused. People would be so confused. But yeah, anyway, I also texted— I really fucked up. I hope Alex doesn't listen to this pod, but I texted Jason and John because they're the only ones that have seen— that have seen the Bourne's. Yeah. And I texted them, I said— because I kept telling the whole group that there's only 2 Jason Bourne's. Yeah, it's like, there's only 2, there's only 2. There— I knew— I know there's 3, but for some reason I thought 2 had this really good ending that would— that would be better if you didn't know there was a third. But then I remembered it's in the third, so I texted Jason and John I was like, go along with me, I'm telling everyone there's only 2 Bourne movies, to not— so the ending hits harder. Yeah. Um, but I was wrong.

And then, and then you tried to have everyone watch the second one right after. It was like 11 o'clock, 10:30. Classic. How can you do 2 movies in a row?

That's tough. I could do it very easily, but the problem was— so everyone was down except Jason and Natalie, they needed to go, which made sense because like— but John, John also was like, whoa, John was like, I have so much to do tomorrow. And Natalie started laughing at him. It's like Natalie would be the one to give him a job to do something. And Natalie's like, we don't ask you to do anything. So you don't have anything to do. What are you doing? You don't have anything to do tomorrow. And then John kind of realized that that was actually true. So John was down, but Natalie and Jason had to go. So we moved it till tonight.

What time tonight? 5:30.

Okay. A nice early one. I have a full schedule right now in about 15 minutes, in 10 minutes. I leave to go train.

Oh, how was yesterday for padel? Did you train yesterday too?

It was.

I really love being part—

Explain to people what padel is.

Okay, so I play padel. So padel is like pickleball, but it's, it's, it's basic. It's where you play off the glass. You play like in this glass room. It's like with a tennis ball, it bounces off the glass, whatever. It's kind of like a— What?

So bad at explaining things. I agree. Glass room and the wall bounces and it's like tennis, whatever.

Fuck it. I don't think people care.

Padel tennis, the same thing as padel.

I actually have no idea.

No, no, no.

They're different.

That's different.

Okay. It's like, honestly, the best way to describe it is like it's like a bougie tennis.

It sounds bougie.

Tennis is already pickleball with a tennis ball in a glass-walled court.

Okay, that's not really it. Why? Okay, whatever, whatever it is, it's called padel or paddle depending on how you pronounce it. And why it's really interesting, because a lot of people that play it here are retired like CEOs, retired athletes, so, or like older actors. So it's like a really interesting group of people. Every time you go and have a game, you don't know who you're playing against. And the games are usually at like unemployed people hours. So it'll be like 3 PM, like in the middle of the day on a Tuesday, which is so LA. And it's like the most interesting group I've ever been a part of in Los Angeles. Because it's like, it's all these people that like are so passionate about padel. Like the way I'm passionate about like, like, wait, they're way more passionate about padel than I am about pickleball. Like they breathe this shit. Wow. Like one of the houses that I just played at yesterday was a $30 million house in Beverly Hills, neighbors with Jeff Bezos, like right next door. And Jeff Bezos has the most interesting house in LA because— have you been— have you driven by his house? No. His hedges are like 120 feet high.

Whoa, 120 feet?

Yeah. What do you mean? Okay, maybe less.

120 feet is like a fucking skyscraper.

That's, uh, it's 12 floors, no? Yeah, yeah. Okay, okay, so it's Probably, okay, 50 feet. Okay. Or 60. It's probably half that.

It's probably 30, 20.

No, it's not. It's not. No, no, no. It's so big. No, no, no.

It's like crazy.

Okay. Okay. I'm going to show you a video. I'm going to show you a video. You tell me what you think.

This is like the second time this week that you've thrown out like a measurement.

All right. Look at this. See these hedges here right in front of us, Tay? Oh yeah. You know whose they are? No. Jeff Bezos. He pays a fine for these because they're the tallest hedges. Even Natalie, look at the car. And anything over this, you get fined. But obviously he doesn't care.

What would you say it is?

I would say it's like 30. Natalie, that's, that's a 60, that's a 60-foot hedge. No, it's towers. Get Amazon packages out front. Isn't that crazy? That's insane. And he had Amazon packages at his door. How cool is that? How crazy is that? That's really sick. The Amazon delivery guy's got to be like, hell yeah, to the source. I think that's crazy. Anyway, so the, the house we played at was, uh, it's— and, and you get like a piece of history every time.

Any famous actors there?

Yeah, I just don't like doxing people.

You don't have to dox, don't say names, but there were some actors.

Yes. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And influencers?

No, no, it's older crowd.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Got it. It's so detached from what I do, and that's why I find it so interesting. That's nice, because it's just like, it's It's such a different world. Yeah. Always a new person. Never, ever any influencers. I'm the only influencer that plays in it, which is like really interesting.

Do you move the best because you're the youngest?

Yeah, but I'm not good. Okay. I'm not good by any means. Okay. Like, I lost all my games yesterday. Oh, wow. Paddle's like different. It's like a dance. It's like a game of rhythm and like, it's not like pickleball. I think I would be able to beat every single person. Yeah. That plays in this league if they came over to a pickleball court, like without question. Wow. Just because it's movement. But that's not what padel's like. Padel's like, you have to like, you have to understand the game. But the house we played at yesterday was just, it was just nothing. It was just a lot. This guy bought like a $30 million lot, hasn't built a house yet, but just has a pickleball court there now and an empty parking lot. Yeah. $30 million. And there's a little cottage at the end of it. That is like— they used to— Gene Wilder used to live there. Oh, well, who's the first Willy Wonka? Yeah. But that's it. That's— and this is a lot in the middle of the biggest homes. I'm saying based on the neighbor. And it's just like you just get to like see these crazy houses and play it. It genuinely feels like you're playing a video game and you're like selecting your map and it's like, I'm going to play in Los Angeles today, Beverly Hills. And it's like every experience is new and the people are different and you're like, wait, I'm playing with the guy who fucking owns Delta Airlines today. Yeah, like everything is so bizarre and it's like, yeah, and everyone's just, everyone's so fucking passionate about their paddle game. Wow.

Yeah. And so these guys are going to be in the tournament?

Yeah. So I'm playing a tournament this week that's all amateurs. So normally pro paddle players will come from like different countries and play here in L.A. and they'll make good amount of money just playing with the people here because all these guys are like making friendly wagers with each other and cutting in the paddle players, so they're making good money. And a friendly wager when you're a billionaire is an insane amount of money. So yeah, so like, yeah, so a lot of the paddle pros—

They'll bet like $10,000?

No. Oh, more? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, wow. No, no, no, we're talking like supercars. Oh, wow. No, no, no, it's not like that. I don't do those kinds of bets. Obviously, I cannot play like that. There's only one bet I've made, which was for $50,000, and then I won that, and then we doubled or nothing and I won that. So I made $100 grand. Yeah. Off paddle, which is really cool because like, the way I look at it, it's like my parents spent a good amount of money on me for training tennis. Yeah. Yeah. And it's kind of come back like I've, I've made the money back and which is really cool. And that was put into the sport because a lot of people can't do that unless you're a professional athlete. Yeah. So I'm like, I kind of got like the taste of what it feels like. Wow. To be a pro athlete. Like I'm making the money back from all the training I did. So that's interesting. Yeah, it's just like such a good crowd. It's like really, really— it just feels like I'm part of something. It feels like when you're like— that's why Natalie was like, I need to find a hobby.

I was going to say, is this your passion and your hobby?

Was that—

I think my passion's Call of Duty.

I heard you're giving me shit. I don't have passion.

I'm defending the country. What are you talking about? Call of Duty game. It's incredible. It is. It's— I'm better than I've ever been in Call of Duty. Really? And they say you lose it with age. Yeah. People don't know this about me. Like, as like, you know, there's David the internet guy. Yeah. But there is inside me, I was number fuck, it was either 42 or 72. I'm losing it in the world for score per minute when Black Ops 6 came out. Yeah. I remember score per minute. That means, that means when I would play the game every minute in the world, when there was like millions of players, I was in the top 100 for how many kills I was getting in a minute. You understand who you're sitting next to? You understand what's in this room right now with you, Natalie?

Would people applaud you like royalty when you were playing? Would people say like, oh, David's really good?

No, no, no, no, no, of course not. Oh yeah, no, it's not like that.

Would you brag at school?

What do you mean? 42 is like significant now? Like you're getting like 2, 3 kills a minute?

Please.

Oh my God, you're so stupid. I know. Try. No, my best— for all the Call of Duty players out there, my best game I played was a domination on a map in Black Ops 6. I don't remember what it was. I don't remember the name of the map, but I went 160 and 3.

Wow. 160 people killed in 3 minutes?

No, 160 kills and 3 deaths.

Why didn't you go pro? Like, why didn't you join FaZe Clan?

There was a moment I could have gone pro.

What happened?

The way that I wish everyone could see your face right now as you talk about it, because I've never bragged about anything more than this.

I'm fascinated.

I didn't go pro, so I—

How old were you?

I was 16, 15, like in my prime.

You're doing Vine yet?

No, and I was not doing Vine. Yeah, this is pre-Vine. Wow. Yeah, this is peak. Like 14 was when I started, 13, 14 was when I started. But like, I am— I mean, don't take my word for it. Let me just get my buddy in here. He's not here. He's not here. But yeah, no, I bought an HD PVR.

I don't know what that is.

Well, I've talked about this before, like my idols growing up in the YouTube community were all gamers. There's XJaws, Woody's Gamertag, Whiteboy7thStreet, SeaNanners, like there's all these guys, Machinima, like there was all these guys that played video games and that's what I wanted to do. So I saved up money, it was like $115 at the time on Craigslist. I bought an HD PVR and you plug that in to your system Yeah, and your TV, and you could record your gameplay and then you can commentate over it. Oh, it was a big fucking investment for me.

Commentate live, uh, or you go back later?

You commentate live or go back later? Yeah, I just never got it to work. I could never set it up, and I always say thank God it never worked because I genuinely, genuinely believe I would have been so successful at it that I would have never like been able to find vlogging through it, and I just would have been like a video game guy, which I, which I love vlogging way more. So I'm really glad that that happened. That's, that was my, my approach to YouTube. But I'm telling you, Jay, so that, that was why you didn't turn pro.

You couldn't figure out the monitor.

Yes. Oh, wow. And I'm, and I'm so lazy where like, I was like, I don't care. Like, I'm not going to look this up. Like, if I can't do it, it's a sign. So I just like gave it up. And that was the end of it. Unbelievable. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But Yeah, yeah. That's why, like, when I say, like, high school was my peak, I genuinely mean, like, all around everything. Like, even my home life. Like, everything from, from being in the classroom to being in the hallways to being outside playing to being in my house playing video games. Every part of my life was at its peak. I 100% peaked at high school. And I'm so happy that I found success after high school because I can proudly say I've peaked in high school now because it wouldn't hit the same. Yeah, yeah. Wouldn't hit the same the other way. And I'm very, very grateful that that's happened. I don't know. Damn. I just rambled a lot, but you got me talking about things I really love, so I'm sorry.

It's okay.

Our humble king. No, listen, sometimes it's like, sometimes you can't be humble about the things you like.

Why don't we give people an update on your videos?

Well, there is none. I feel like I bore people around them, about them.

What do you mean?

Well, there's no update. I think there is an update. I know exactly when things are happening. So we're going to pre-shoot some videos.

You're looking at me like you're scared to speak. It's okay. This is a safe space.

We won't upload the first video for a while. When? I don't want to say.

Yeah, I don't think we say.

I don't want to say, but it's not—

I'm looking for a bump in the algorithm too. You know what I mean?

It's not too far away. Let's just say it rhymes with ponton away.

Mm, one month away.

Ponton away, somewhere around there, where I think I'm going to be uploading frequently, differently. Yeah, we have not shot the first video yet, so we don't know what it is. Yeah, but I think it's going to feel a little different than the vlogs, but to a lot of people better, to some people worse, but I am tired of this one thing. I've just gotten the phrase analysis paralysis. I am tired of it. And that's, I think, what is stopping me from making vlogs is my analysis paralysis is like, is like I need to make more at a faster rate and I need to stop worrying about how they're put together. I just need to like just make stuff just because I genuinely love capturing stuff so much. Yeah. And I want to go back to that. I like, like in high school, I was such a fan of just filming people and just capturing fun moments. And then I loved doing that when I started the vlogs. And then it became this thing where, like, I felt like I was putting together something more than just like, this was my week. And I think that as time grew, it like took away from why I did it in the first place. I want to go back to more of like the fun out of it. Yeah, I want to just— I just want to capture things, just document it, just so when I'm fucking 75, I can play it back with my kids and watch. Mm. But yeah, that's fun. All right, guys, I got to get to practice. That's all the time we have for today's pod. Thank you guys for listening. Now he's the best.

Let's go. Now he's the best.

We'll see you guys for the next one. Go check out Jason's daily videos. See you guys soon. Bye.