Calling My Ex-Wife

Well, actually it is. I found out what I'm allergic to. Oh, and this has been a long time. Pussy. Yeah. This has been a— I'm allergic to pussy. My doctor's like, yeah, we figured it out. No, but this has been a long time because for a long time I've made up my allergies because I don't want to try certain foods. So I'll just say I'm allergic. I completely lie. Okay. But my doctor said, there's something surprising came up. You lit up for almost everything in terms of allergies. Ooh. What? Yeah, yeah. I'm gonna read 'em off and then I'm gonna tell you my top ones. Ready? Almond, barley, white bean, carrot, coconut, corn, garlic, hazelnut, macadamia nut, orange, green pea, peanut, pecan nut, pistachio nut, potato, rice, rye, sesame seeds, soybeans, strawberry, tomato, walnut, wheat, And then every type of tree you can imagine, with my strongest allergic tree being to oak. Wow. Which actually shows why I fucking hate my neighbor's trees so much. They're all oak trees that I can't cut down. So it's all making a lot of sense. And then of course, cat and dog. Cat being far superior. It's like rated from like 1 to 15 of like how much it bothers you. And like my mac— like my strawberry's at 0.33. Okay, which isn't a lot. Fucking very little, right? Right, right, right. And then like my hazelnut is at 6.56, which I will preface with I love fucking Nutella and it doesn't bother me, so I don't know what's going on there.