Sex With My Teacher

What's up, guys? Welcome back to Views. Before this podcast starts, this is like one of our only podcasts. Actually, a lot of them are, but like, this podcast is definitely 18+. So if you're 15, just don't tell your fucking parents you're listening to this shit because, because it's, it's—

I mean, if you're in the car with your mom and dad right now, go to the next podcast.

Go to the next podcast. This is what we're having, Corinne, on the podcast. So we're going to be talking a lot, a lot about different sex talk podcasts. And we're going to get into it. All right.

Roll the intro music.

Guys, another guest here today that we have is Corinna. Corinna, introduce yourself.

Yeah. Hi, Corinna.

Corinna is super—

I was looking at Natalie.

Corinna is super horny right now.

Super just wet.

Okay.

I'm sorry.

I mean, no, David and Corinna are horny.

Oh, take that back.

David is just as horny, I think. David's been walking around showing off his big butt in his new sweatpants all day.

Yeah, Natalie and I had a competition. We blindfolded our friends and we had them touch our butt to see which one was bigger. Guys, Natalie did win. I don't really care if my butt's bigger. I'm just a really competitive guy.

Yeah.

Sore fucking loser.

No, okay, yeah, Natalie won. Natalie's butt is, it is way bigger. And we put on the same sweatpants.

Yeah.

And I looked at mine and then I looked at hers.

Yeah.

I was like, oh, this is no—

No contest.

No contest at all. Yeah. Really? Yeah, Natalie, yours looks like my ass went around and ate a bunch of other asses.

And, and, um, I don't know if that's a compliment.

No, no, no, you have a very big ass.

I can't see it myself, so I don't— like, I can just hear what other people say about it. I don't know about it myself.

Oh my God, I just hear people talk about it. I've never actually— I've never even looked.

Do I have a butt?

Do I have one?

I'm an idiot.

You don't— you don't go in a full-length mirror before you go out and turn around and look behind?

Yeah, but even when I turn my body, my butt also turns my body, so I can't really get a good view.

Madeline trying to check her ass out. Why does my butt burn with the rest of my body. Does anybody else's body do this? All right, Corinna, so you, um, the other day, the other day you were mentioning that your first concert was Lil Wayne.

Yeah, it was, but I had—

Corinna said the first time she went to Lil Wayne concert, he grabbed her hand, and that was the first time she's ever been wet.

Yeah, yeah, I had, um, like 4 posters all over my room. I love Lil Wayne, and I begged my mom for tickets, and I went with this boy that I lost my virginity to after the Lil Wayne concert. Maybe. Oh wow, I don't know, I don't remember. I have a really bad memory. But yeah, adding up now, he grabbed my hand and sang like probably like 7 words of How to Love to me, and I like cried. And that was definitely the first time I ever got wet.

Holy shit.

No, it's probably not the first time, but it was a major, major wet moment in my life.

That's such an experience. Imagine like your first boner is like when like, like somebody grabbed your hand and started singing to you. Like, that'd be a fuck— that'd be a lot happening.

Back then it was like comparable to like Harry Styles grabbing my hand. Like, that's how I would compare it back when I was 14.

No, sure, but like imagine how overwhelming overwhelming that is. Like, your celebrity crush is not only grabbing your hand, but you're having this like a very like specific moment. Like, imagine having all that once just hit you. It's like a star exploding. Like, that's probably what it's like. I don't know.

I know a girl, her first kiss was Usher.

Her first kiss was—

our first kiss? Yeah, someone set it up. It was like not Ellen, but something like Good Morning America or something like that.

Oh wow. What did she say? Did she like that?

I don't really—

it's like what my best friend from home, it's like her friend, so I never like talked to her about it. But I saw the clip and everything.

You know, Usher was like one of my first crushes as well.

Oh, did you go to a concert of his?

No, I didn't. But my grandpa used to fly like jets and he flew artists like—

Yeah, private jet. No, no, no.

Like writers, like artists, like writers. But like, he for some reason flew him one day and got an autograph for this girl that like was at his barn or whatever. And I literally like ignored him for like a week because he didn't give me an autograph.

When did you know you were better looking than everybody else? At what point?

Maybe just like 2 years ago.

Really? When David started putting me in the vlog.

Were you— were you like— were you the best looking girl in your high school?

No, no, no. I, I got the attention from the boys because I fucked a lot of them.

That's one way to open eyes.

You know the guys that came to my, uh, me and Ally's birthday thing?

Yeah, they came to the bar.

Yeah, like I think out of 4 of them, I probably like sucked off or tried to suck off like 2 or 3.

Oh my God. So she introduced me to one of her guys. I'm just gonna make up a name. She's like, she goes, This is Chris. I sucked him off. And he looked at me like fucking— like Corinna just threw rocks at him. He was like, oh, he got so panicked and so scared. He was like, oh yeah, in high school, a long time ago. I was like, dude, chill, man. She sucked off all of you. He was so nervous. It's like literally Corinna hit him with the train.

Yeah, I'd say most of my body count has definitely come from high school. Like, I, like, I thought at one point it was cool to see how many guys you could have sex with. Like, it was a game. I was like, oh yeah, the more guys I have sex with, like, the cooler I am.

That's impressive.

That's literally how it's—

and then you didn't have enough, you went back and you did it with one of your teachers.

Yeah, I did fuck one of my teachers.

That's pretty cool.

That's great.

That is like—

I have graduated, obviously.

Yeah, but that is like an actual thing.

That's like, what grade you get that semester?

No, she graduated.

Oh, was after—

what grade did he give you when you were in class?

Well, I actually remember one time vividly, I had like a bad grade, and I was like Oh yeah. Like, are you really? Like, I tried to, like, talk dirty almost to him, and he was like, knock that off. Like, I'm not tolerating this shit. But I was trying to, like, be like, oh yeah, you're going to give me a C? Or like, I don't know. He was like, knock it off. You're not doing this. And I was like, oh, sorry.

Oh my God.

I fucked him. So who won?

Yeah, I guess you did. But you still got the C in the class.

Yeah.

Yeah.

One time I had sex with this guy. He had a fucking water bottle dick. Like, you know, those big, like, Ice Mountain water bottles. Or what's the brand we have here? Arrowhead? Like the ones with the—

Hold on, we definitely don't have Arrowhead. Let's clear this up. We are not an Arrowhead household. We don't have that here.

No, like LA brand is Arrowhead. But you know the ones with like the tops on them?

Yeah, Ice Mountain.

Like the fat ones. Like I swear to God, this guy had a dick like a water bottle.

Are you saying—

It was the worst sex of my life.

Okay, it was too big.

Horribly big.

Okay.

It was like 8, 9 inches and the girth of a fucking elephant trunk.

And that's why I stopped dating Todd.

Yeah, that was Todd.

Okay, so you— So what you're saying, size does matter, but also it could be too big.

Oh yeah. Oh, I prefer a small pee-pee.

Jason?

Not small, but like averagely.

Here's my friend Jason.

Have you ever thought that maybe you could be Lil Wayne when you meet fans, when teenage boys come up to you at the mall and they're like, I'm a fan. Oh God. Do you feel like you're— I think you're missing a lot of opportunities with your brand, by the way. I think you should have like pinup posters, calendars.

Yeah, you're right. You should have a straight-up calendar.

Yeah, you really should.

I would if I had like a nicer body, but yeah.

I'm saying crazy. Natalie literally just shook her head like, what the fuck is she saying?

Karina, you— we talked about this the other day. You are in the top percent of sexiest people alive.

Our opinion.

It's not our opinion, that's the opinion of the world. Why do you think you have followers? Because you're fucking beautiful, that's why.

You have just as many followers as I do. Carly has followers.

I don't know, I can't take myself out of that one.

Yeah, no, no, no, no, I, I think that I'm skinny. I, I am very confident in my body, but I don't— I think it could be better. I think I could I think I could work out. That's what I'm saying. I'm not saying like, oh, I think I'm fat or whatever.

I think you can definitely kill a calendar.

I think I would want to be in better shape.

Why are you touching yourself?

Not necessarily skinnier, but more toned.

Karina, stop rubbing your boobs.

I'm sorry. Like, sometimes it's just nice to play with them.

You get to pick the photos that go in the calendar though, and it's only one per month. There's 12 photos. Out of 12 photos, you have how many hundreds of photos on your Instagram? 12 of those photos are going to come out.

Natalie wants this calendar more than anybody.

All right, Natalie, I'll give you 10%. I'm just supporting my fellow women, okay?

I don't know. Yeah. And not even like a Playboy calendar, just like a pretty photo shoot, like in the flowers. Like you don't even have to show your body off. Like, literally your face with like—

I don't believe many people would buy that.

Sorry that I'm chiming in again, but there's just like so many— when I like look at you and your brand personally, like I've thought about this before, which is why I'm so heated about it. But when I look at you and your brand, I feel like there's so many like endless opportunities that you could be doing to make— I know you make great money now, but so many opportunities even with like Pouty Girl. And like, yeah, whatever. You're just—

you think I'm scared of failure? I don't know.

Stop.

What textbook did you read that from?

No, let's get back into the dick sucking.

Can we stop talking about my career and talk about cocks?

You guys should go into the porn industry.

Huh?

Porn?

No, we're not saying porn.

David offered me like millions of dollars to do a porn if he could have all the rights to it.

I didn't. I offered you and Todd $250,000 each.

Okay, whatever.

It's not millions of dollars and you guys turned it down.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Uh, when are you gonna get that family channel going? You always talk about that. And, Karina, you're also—

No, I do want a family channel eventually.

Where do you see yourself in 5 years?

I do want a family channel eventually.

Um, I see myself having family in 5 years. Yeah, I want to be a stay-at-home mom.

Really?

Yeah. No, I want to like work, but I want to be able to like be home with my kids.

So in 5 years you want to have kids?

In 5 years I'll be almost 30. Yeah.

That's not a long time. That's, that's right around the corner.

Yeah, I know, time flies.

I remember when he was gonna be good with kids. She was a nanny.

30.

Exactly, 30.

Um, I always thought that, like, when I was younger, I always thought like by 26, that's when I was gonna— yeah, and then when you get to meet my guy, have a family, you totally still could.

You're 23.

I know, I like could potentially, but just, just like from growing up and being more mature and having like a different outlook on life, like I don't I don't know if I'd want that.

Sure.

I mean, I guess it depends.

Maybe if I'm the right person, then I'll be like, no, I want kids at like 29 or like 30, like 29, 30 latest.

Yeah, I want kids around 49, 50.

Whoa, really? Grandpa? Yeah, that's crazy. You're gonna start then?

I want to spread myself thin too early.

Oh man, you don't want to be chasing those kids around when you're 60.

Yeah, it's gonna be really hard.

Corinna does this thing in the car where she'll say like the greatest stuff for the vlog.

All the stuff will spill out of her mouth, like the craziest thing in the car.

Craziest things, and then we'll turn the camera on, and she's like, no, I can't.

Where the camera's not on, Corinna goes— Corinna goes, I wish instead of rain it was just cum falling out of the sky. And then I turned my camera on, and I was like, what did you just say? And she goes, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.

Yeah, but you guys act like I didn't let you put in the vlog the time where I told you that I wanted like 6 guys to come on top of me.

She, she did say that once, and she let me put in the vlog, and I appreciate it.

It wasn't that. It was like, yes, you guys know, I tried to refilm it like 8 Fucking times and I didn't know what you wanted.

I'm already— that was definitely weird when I first started hanging out with David, when he took me to his parents' house and his parents were in Florida.

Yeah, my parents—

yeah, it was awkward.

We went to— we went to my parents' house and my parents were out of town and I brought Jason over and I told them, like, I told my parents, I'm like, Jason's staying over. And they were really weirded out because they've never met Jason and all they saw was like 10 videos of him and he was 45. They thought you were gay. Yeah, they thought I was fucking him. It took my parents a while to say yes. And then I would have thought the same thing. Yeah. When they finally said yes, my dad prefaced it with, just don't go in our room. Okay.

So it was like, can you imagine? It was almost like a 45-year-old man going into your parents' room.

It was almost like him giving up and being like, okay, this is what my son wants. Just don't fuck him in our room. I felt like that's kind of what my parents thought.

But you should ask him now if he thought you were gay at the time.

No, it's not that. I don't know. I don't know.

Who knows what they thought? I would have had my suspicions.

If it makes you feel better, Jason, I slept at David's house too once. Yeah, he showed me his guinea pigs.

I turned his dad, gave him a high five.

Oh yeah, Karina slept over once when we, when we still lived in Chicago. Yeah, but she slept in— that's the, the first day I met her, Karina slept over.

And he showed me his guinea pigs. Like 20 minutes away?

No, um, I don't know, I don't know why, but my, my parents weren't home, so I let her sleep over, but she slept in my sister's room.

And honestly, we hit it off, not in like a sexual way, but as like friends. I feel like that's why I slept over. Yeah, we were just like, oh yeah, we're having a fun time, like let's sleep over.

She slept in my sister's room and I went next door.

I think I was bummed though because I think I wanted to not sleep in your sister's room.

Yeah, I mean, I would imagine it's like—

I remember when I first met Corinna, like David like picked me up in the Tesla and like we were riding around and then we picked you up and then you got in the back seat and Dom was in the back seat and I was like looking at you and Dom And then I looked at myself and I was like, oh wow, he's assembling like a bunch of like, uh, archetypes here. He's got like the fucking weed smoker, the old washed-up comedian, and then the hot ditzy fucking slut. And I was like, oh wow, this is gonna work.

That was the first time we all hung out.

Yeah, it was definitely one of the first times I met Krinner, because I remember you were in the backseat of the Tesla just fucking talking your mouth off. You were like, you were like Like talking about him.

Well, I remember when you came into the group, I was kind of like, oh, I don't know, like, and then we would all make jokes. Like, it was kind of serious but kind of joking, like, oh yeah, he's replaced all of us. And like, I was like, oh, I don't know about this guy, like, who is this guy?

Oh yeah, I remember people were jealous at first because I was filming with you so much.

Yeah.

Oh really?

Yeah. Are you gonna film with Jason?

People were jealous?

Yeah, yeah, of course. Yeah, everybody. Really?

I don't even say yeah myself.

Oh, I never feel like that.

I always feel like, no, obviously not anymore. But when first we're like, oh, who's this new guy? Like, why is he getting all this?

Now they're more happy that I don't drag them as many places as I drag you.

Yeah.

You know, the other day, you want to know something? I went on the Kelly Clarkson Show today, which is really fun.

Oh yeah? How was that? Shit.

She's the best.

So much going on here. I didn't even bring it up.

She's like, really, really, really nice.

Is she?

Yeah.

And great.

Yeah. And I met Octavia Spencer. Uh-huh.

She asked her.

It was really funny because Kelly introduced us. She's like, I'm here with Oscar Award winner Octavia Spencer and YouTuber David Dobrik. It's just such a funny thing to be sitting next to somebody What did they ask you? So talented. I don't know. We were just talking about stuff. Oh, we told the story of me marrying your mother.

Yeah.

And Natalie told me that people loved it so much that they were crying of laughter. Like, I didn't really—

Yeah, we turned around to, like, other people in the audience and even, like, her live band. They all, like, put their instruments down and they were like, wow, that was a good one. And they were, like, dying, literally crying of laughter. Yeah, it was so funny.

Did Kelly like it?

Yeah, no, she definitely— she definitely liked the story. Yeah. But what I was going to say, this is the story I want to tell on Kelly, but Megan publicist told me not to. But the other day, the other day I was right here, I was right by the bathroom and I heard something in my closet and it was like, that's what I heard in my closet. And I was like, fuck, like something's going on in there. And I went to go turn around to go into my room and check what it was out. And then right when I got to my door, I stopped and I was like, if that's me from the future, I don't.

Megan nixed this. Good job, Megan.

'Cause I thought that could be me from the future arriving in my closet to fix something about present David. And I was like, I don't wanna, no, listen, I said, I'm not gonna go back there 'cause I don't wanna run into myself because that'll fuck up everything. So I literally stopped and I was like, fuck it, I'm walking out the door. I don't wanna get in my way. So I walked out the front door knowing that I may possibly have landed from the future in my closet. Does that make sense? Am I making sense?

Were you fucking high or like on crack?

No, I'm not, I wasn't high. It was like a serious thought. Cuz like, shit can— shit like that can fucking happen.

Sure, we'll be right back on Kelly Clarkson after this.

No, Kelly, listen, I saw— I swear. What the fuck was that?

Who is this guy?

What kind of story is that? Who approved that story before it hit? Come with us, sir.

Get out of here.

He's getting taken away in an ambulance.

Wow. No, but I was just— I mean, you know what I mean?

That could have worked on the talk show, but maybe not for Kelly Clarkson. That's a funny concept. I'm like, could have made that work.

Yeah, but, but what I'm saying is like, that was a situation where—

what was in the closet?

I don't fucking know.

You don't know? You never looked?

No.

So it could have been you.

I left. That's what I'm saying.

That's not what you're saying.

No, I'm saying it could have been me from the future. And, and you know what I thought? I thought— first I thought, well, that's stupid. Why would he land in my closet when he knows I'm home? But then I thought Wait, I'm me, so maybe I landed there for a reason because I knew I wouldn't come in and walk in on myself. So I did him the favor of not walking in on him. Yeah, this is making sense.

Yeah, yeah, it makes total sense.

Like, I knew that he knew that I was gonna— that I heard him, but I wasn't gonna walk in on me from the future, right?

And you're in the closet anyway, and you know that you're not gonna walk in on you in the closet.

Now it's confusing.

No, I— you're in the future. What are you coming back to fix?

Well, that's wrong here. I don't know that.

Okay.

I don't know. Yeah, that's why I didn't want to fuck with it. Could have been something.

I don't think you went with the marriage story.

Yeah, I always think. I always think like fucking— I think the craziest thing can happen. I've said this before. I mean, like, I genuinely believe fucking aliens, because imagine this, aliens attack tomorrow, right? The whole fucking city's on fire. Aliens are coming. It would take you about 3 hours to accept that as reality, right? Like, at first you'd be like, this is fucking crazy. But then in about 2 or 3 hours, you'd be like, yeah, that makes sense. Aliens came down. They're here. I got to fend for myself. You know what I mean? Like how quickly you can, like, be like, oh, this is fucking real. Like, that's why I think that literally anything can happen. And no, but I know it sounds crazy, but yeah, I always think I've said this on the podcast like 7 times. I always think that like something happened yesterday.

Yeah.

Like the world was fucking taken over yesterday and then, and then they fucking wiped everyone's memories and we'll never know. And so you— what did you do yesterday?

These aliens came down, they wiped my phone.

What did you actually do yesterday? What did you do yesterday?

Okay, yesterday I was with you. Yeah, we shot, we shot two bits.

But did that happen? Did that— like, we don't know. We don't know if that actually—

we have it on video, motherfucker.

Yeah, but that was— dude, that's all—

we just watched the clips from yesterday that we shot.

So it's all part of my fucking brain hurt. I'm literally about to leave.

It's all part of the alien plan.

No, I, I hate this conversation.

All right, we can talk about your ex-boyfriend's dick. You ready? Karina's back in.

Oh my God, I was with Corinna once, and when she was— when she was— no, this was in the vlog when she was dating Todd.

Oh yeah.

And, and like, they were just goofing around, like fooling around, and like Corinna put her legs back and like Todd kind of went in between her legs a little bit, like as a joke, like a little over her belly button. And Corinna just let one go right on Todd's face. Oh man, one time—

that's why she gets the big money when she streams.

Wait, no, no, no, listen, this one's, this one's even better. This is like a better version of that story. One time me and Todd were like, uh, fooling around and we were butt-ass naked and I was like bent over in like a doggy position and I like spread my ass and was like, is there like an ingrown hair right here? And he literally got, you know, up in there and I just let one rip right into his face.

But that's making it crazy.

Crazy than you thinking the future self is in your closet, but you don't want to bother him.

No, bro, I think that's insane.

You know that like David's never like pooped in front of Liza or even farted. I don't know.

I don't do that either. I agree. I'm with David on that.

Really?

Yeah.

Yeah, I've never done that.

I wouldn't do that either.

I get very close to my significant other and we're like at a point where it just doesn't matter.

Sure. And I actually—

my boyfriend's totally cool sticking my ass. Why can't I fart in front of him? Do you know what I'm saying?

Okay, so she's had anal.

One is pleasurable, one is fucking gross.

Farting is—

why is it gross?

Because it's disgusting. Farting is just disgusting.

Does it make you think I'm less attractive?

Attractive.

It doesn't make— no, it doesn't make me think you're less attractive, but it— especially when you do it during like a moment where you're fooling around naked, like that's supposed to be like this like, like pleasurable sexual moment, and then you ruin it by like farting. Like that, that's when, that's when I go, oh my God, this can happen at any given time.

It wasn't ruined, it was actually like really fucking hysterical because then we both bursted out in laughter for probably a good 5 minutes.

No, that's great.

And then continued to have sex. Do you know what I'm saying? Like it was a very funny, humorous moment.

Yes.

I think I've had that happen a lot.

I mean, you're taking a risk there.

Yeah.

Oh, hell no.

You know, I'm not going to let me fart in front of him.

Yeah, I think that's Corinna. That makes sense.

Hell no.

Corinna is looking for a guy that will let her fart on his face, and that's fair.

No, no, no, no.

Love me at my worst or don't love me at all.

Yeah. No, you look like if you want to see my ass, let me pass gas. That's, that's what Corinna lives by. I mean, it makes sense. It makes sense. Another one on the whole sex topic. There's this girl that went to one of my elective classes in high school. And the story was that she was having sex with a guy and then—

and I have one of these—

and then she shat all over his chest and all over him on complete accident. And it went around the high school. That's the worst story to go around high school.

You want to know the story that went around my high school?

What?

This girl was at a party and for whatever reason they thought it'd be a good idea to start fucking on the pool table in front of everybody. And then they did anal and she shit all over this guy's like $1,000 pool table.

My God.

In front of the party. And her name was like Whitney or something. So they called her like Shitty Whitney or I don't even know, they gave her some really weird nickname.

She put herself in that situation.

Fuck your friend.

How can you both have a story like that?

You don't have one?

There was—

I have tons, because every time you ever meet anybody, like, one of the first stories, like any sexual story, you like, you talk to anybody, it's always a shitting story. I've met a lot of friends that are like, yeah, my friend, they used to shit on each other.

Wait, what?

Yeah, like, I actually—

weirdo.

No, but I feel like if you asked anybody from high school if they had like a story like that, everyone would have something.

Yeah, everyone has one story where somebody pooped themselves.

Yeah.

In a sexual act. Have you ever given a blumpkin?

Yes.

Oh my God, you have?

What?

I've also given—

You know what that is, Jay?

Yeah, I think so.

Wow. What?

I've also given a rusty trombone.

So Corinna's given a blumpkin and a rusty— Excuse me, what? A rusty trombone?

Do you know what either of those are?

I don't know what a rusty trombone is.

First of all, let's talk about this blumpkin. A blumpkin is where you give someone a blowjob while they're taking a poop.

Yes.

Have you ever done that, Natalie?

No.

Explain that to me, Corinna.

How did—

How does that happen? And what part of that turns somebody on?

It's also— it's, it goes hand in hand with the whole farting thing. It's just like, we think it's funny someone's shitting, and I'm not— someone— he's shitting.

And it's just like some random guy we found is shitting.

What about the smell?

I just wouldn't be able to be like—

it wasn't that bad. I feel like, I guess if it was smellier, I would have been like, no. But I guess it just wasn't.

Was it a DJ that was vegan?

No, no, no, no, no. The— I think I mean, that one was just— I didn't— I sucked it, but I didn't suck it till it exploded. Sure.

Oh my God.

But like the rusty trombone, like, what is that?

I've never heard of that.

A rusty trombone is where you eat a guy's ass while you're jerking them off.

And which DJ did you do that with?

Not a DJ, no.

And are DJs better at sex?

I'm sorry, what part of this conversation did you think I was going to love?

Do you want to be a part of—

I know, I know, David literally called Natalie over for this conversation while she—

You're fire and ice. I think it's The—

okay, how do you feel about the rusty trombone?

Okay, you've eaten ass before?

No, I haven't eaten ass.

I mean, no, you guys are just very different in those. I mean, I'm very different from Corinna too. I think we're all very different from Corinna, but it's— hey, I'm sorry, I've never— I've actually loved you for who you are.

That's the best.

Would you ever let a girl eat your ass?

Never, ever in a fucking trillion years.

Why?

It's great.

That's so gross.

Okay, I feel like—

I don't know.

Why do you think it's gross? Like, tell me honestly, because I will debunk everything.

Now, why is that?

Have you ever seen the stuff that comes out of my ass? I would never never ever subject anyone to that.

Okay, but the stuff that comes out of your ass isn't on your ass.

You don't know that.

Okay, well I do. So when— okay, first of all, you have to realize when you— it's just like with anything, you don't just like go into it randomly. Like before I ate his ass, it wasn't just like he had ran a mile and took a shit. Do you know what I'm saying?

Yeah, he just showered straight out of the bathroom.

Well, he— we took a bath, first of all. That's like much different than a shower. A fucking bath where your ass cheeks are kind spread in the water. And then also I made him let— both of them actually let me shave their ass. So there was like— it was literally just licking skin.

So you shaved his ass?

Yeah.

And then you—

that's some foreplay.

Let's, let's, uh, let's pause now and jump into an ad right here.

That, that was your foreplay? You shaved his ass?

No, it wasn't foreplay, but it was just like, hey, I'm going to— like, I, I did it with two boyfriends.

Hey, I'm going to shave your ass now. Like, I don't know what part about that would get me aroused.

In any way.

That wasn't the foreplay.

I don't—

how do you—

the fact that you did that—

how do you even ask that question? I want to shave your ass.

See, that's why I don't— I think we're so different because like with my boyfriends it's so close, it's not even like a weird thing.

I was close with my girlfriend. I would never be like, hey, take this razor and shave my ass.

You were, but you weren't in that way because you couldn't even fart around her. Okay, it was just like—

fair. But that was—

I was just like, let me shave your ass. And he was like, what? I'm like, yeah, let me show your ass. And he was like, oh, okay. Like it wasn't like weird enough.

Okay, now that she said it like that. Yeah, when she goes, let me shave your ass, I'm I'm actually down for you to shave my ass.

All right, let's do it. No, but then after that, don't you feel a little bit better? Like, first of all, it's soaked. You know what I'm saying? There's no hair for anything to be stuck to. It's a clean ass. Well, you're literally just licking skin at that point. Do you know what I'm saying?

Okay, I fuck with that.

I don't know if I fuck with that because I just feel like I'm also a very, like, overanalytical person. So I feel like the whole time I'm just going to be like, he's— what if he shits in my mouth?

Why would he shit in your mouth?

All I don't know.

Like, it's not like he was intentionally going to do it, But what if he actually has to fart or shit?

I mean, I think he would make you stop. I don't know. I just feel like personally it was—

you did it. You fucking blew a fart right in Todd's face.

Maybe he could have done it back to me, but there's too many, like, unpredictable outcomes.

Yeah, you never know.

I just feel like—

poor Todd.

I mean, I would hope that if they were like, I'm going to fart while you're eating my ass, they wouldn't let me continue to eat their ass.

But at the same time, this is one of those podcasts that a kid shows to his parents to show them what this podcast is all about. And just the fucking mom and dad are sitting there like, this is what you've been listening to.

All I'm saying is Because when I ate ass, it was no different than sucking a dick because it was very clean and it didn't taste like anything. That's all I'm saying. It was no different than sucking a dick.

Fair.

Corinna, is sex with musicians better than sex with regular people?

Why do you always choose DJs over civilians?

It was a coincidence and it was coincidence.

4 times.

It was 2, 3, whatever.

That's one fucking hell of a— it was 3. It was 3.

Well, one was like a low-key DJ. The other 2 were—

don't do that to him. He's a big DJ.

He's not.

Are there songs about you out there?

Hell no. I wish.

Are you sure?

Yeah, 100%.

Justin Bieber, Baby. It's about— you didn't know?

True. No.

And then Paris by Chance Walker.

I was with one DJ and he was very freaky. And I feel like DJs are freaky and foreign and they like anal. And that was great. Other than that, that's about it.

Well, you really narrowed it down by saying foreign.

Yeah, exactly. They're all foreign.

Corinne, thank you for being a guest on the podcast.

Thank you.

You're always a friend of the show. We'd always love to have you come back.

I'll come back next time.

I'm a friend of the show.

I love you. Look at— I'm sitting here on the couch right now and David and Corinna are next to each other. They're actually a really cute couple, you know?

No, I could never, ever, ever.

Well, you kind of, you kind of, you kind of provide each other what each other don't. I'm not lying. No, David, listen to me.

Corinna, I could not eat. I'll be honest, I'm your friend and you, you get hungry maybe 7 times a day and it's so fucking—

Natalie, she's your assistant.

Yeah, but she fucking gets food for herself. Corinna, we'll be sitting on the couch. Oh, I hear from the corner of the room. Time is, I'm hungry.

Okay, I can work on it, David.

So no, and it fucking drives me—

who wants Buffalo Wild Wings?

It drives me nuts, Corinna. It drives me nuts. And the worst part is, is like, we'll be like completely like out of the way driving somewhere, and like Corinna will want to get food, and it's like— I mean, Corinna, uh, I see I'm already so mad.

High maintenance.

Okay, I do want to say that you are high maintenance. You've told me this before, and I've actually tried to work on it. Have you noticed this recently?

Yes, I said I was hungry today, but so did everybody else in the room, and I know If David were to give you a shot and date you, could you curb your appetite?

Yes.

You are very high maintenance.

I'm not high maintenance.

Would you work on it? Would you be able to work on your high maintenance-ness?

I'm not high maintenance. I really don't think I'm high maintenance at all. High maintenance in like what way?

David, let's just for the podcast, let's, let's imagine a world where you guys are dating. Okay, what would it be like?

What would it be like?

Yeah, blowjobs, ass eating.

Well, I would, I would say that my, my, my ass would be a lot cleaner than normal, that's for sure. I would— it wouldn't work. It wouldn't work.

I think you, I think you give each other stuff that you don't have. Like Corinna, like David's like a very, uh, driven with his job. He knows exactly what he wants. And David, Corinna's hot.

And you know, Corinna, you know, I have thought about this and there's, there's one reason why me and David's relationship wouldn't work. This is one in my mind. Everything else is great. I'm I am utterly in love with my dog. Oh yeah, that's crazy. And I literally— I thought about this, like, not with David, but just in general. If any one of my boyfriends, no matter how much I was in love with them, was allergic to my dog and couldn't be around him, I literally could not date that guy. The fact that I love my dog—

that you've thought about us being together recently because your dog's pretty recent— the fact that you've thought about it, but you had it for a year— oh, we can't because Carl.

When you got Carl, the day you took him, we were like, well, this will cement everything with David.

This is—

I'm closing the door here. I have a new topic.

Thank you.

David went and looked at a $7 million house today, and I got really scared.

Why?

I was like, hmm. I was like, because, you know, leaving this house, that would be weird.

Okay, I'll say this. I did go look at a $7 million house, but I also want to say, why do people keep coming to this house? I fucking love this house. With all my heart, and the reason we have to move is because Natalie's fucking scared she's gonna get stabbed in the middle of the night. Stop showing up to the house, for the love of fuck, please. Oh my God, guys, I wanna stay here, I love this house, and you're literally, and this is to like 0.0006% of people listening, like you are literally ruining my chances of living here any longer because Natalie's literally about to fucking drag me out of here because people are still showing up to the house. And, and it's really, really fucking scary. Okay, there.

It sucks.

It sucks. It sucks. I don't want to get a different house. Yeah, don't leave notes in the cars. Don't come see the house. Don't— Natalie, you add to this.

Okay, well, to be honest, it's fucking terrifying when there are strangers that show up to the door. And I feel like if anybody put themselves into that situation, like, take a step back before you walk up our driveway to our front door, even like onto our street. It's just like, it's creepy and it's stalkery. And how did you find our address, first of all? Why did you find our address? There's— you have no business to be invading someone's personal space and privacy. It just doesn't make sense.

The worst part is, the worst part is that I can handle it, but then you have also on top of it, you have my fucking neighbors who have kids, and they literally came up to me and they're like, we're scared of our kids playing outside because there are people out here and we don't know who they are, and there are people that keep pulling up in cars, and we're just scared to let our kids play in the front lawn because there's so many strangers showing up here. And like, that sucks, and that makes me feel like such a fucking shitty neighbor. When people show up and my neighbors are coming to me like, hey, like, are you thinking about moving out? Like, what are you gonna do? Are you gonna stay here? Because we can't keep—

there's nothing you can do. You're gonna have to move. Yeah, you could— you can say this on 80 podcasts.

Okay guys, let's get real.

Oh, I have something to talk about.

Why?

Corinna, listen to this. Cut David's mic. Cut David's mic, Dima. That's right, Dima works for me. Corinna, Natalie, listen to this shit. The other day, okay, okay, I'm parked in the driveway. And I go, Taylor, can we move the car so I can charge my car? Yeah, Taylor, super nice. Yes. So she moves, she moves the Mercedes, and then I take my car out and I'm waiting for the Tesla to come out. It's taking a little bit of time. I'm like, all right, Taylor's getting her thing together. I see the Tesla pull out and I'm like, okay, cool, Taylor's pulling the Tesla out. I start to back in, all of a sudden the fucking Tesla comes screaming at me. I'm backing in and the Tesla's in front of me, so nose to nose, two Teslas. The fucking Tesla's screaming at me, right? And I'm like I'm like, oh fuck, Taylor lost control of the car, right?

So I hit the brakes and what happens?

The fucking— the white Tesla hits mine. And I'm like—

and then I look inside, it's fucking David, fucking maniac, with a look on his face.

He's like, oh, oh.

And then, then after hitting my car, what does he fucking do? He goes, what the fuck, Jason? I go, what? What is going on? What fucking planet am I on? What fucking planet am I on that this is my fault? You braked! You braked! How the fuck did you brake, Jason? I'm going, what?

And Carly and Aaron in the backseat, they're like, oh my god, David's fucking lost it.

And then he gets out of the car and he's like, why did you do that?

Aaron ends up chiming in because she's in the backseat, and Aaron goes, well, Jason, you did brake. It was Yeah, it was kind of your fault. And Carly's like, no, it wasn't. It was 100% David's fault. And Aaron was like, well, Jason shouldn't have braked. And Jason's fucking standing outside my car like fucking screaming, what the fuck are you talking about? Of course it was his fault.

I was—

what I was doing is—

I was, uh, it definitely was not Jason's fault.

Thank you, Corinna.

No, it wasn't. What I did was I was driving up to Jason's car really quickly, and then he panicked and he braked, and I didn't know he was gonna brake. I thought he's gonna keep reversing back into my driveway, and when he braked braked. I hit his car. It was a little bit of a tap. Nothing happened. No airbag deployed.

I think he bought you that car. What'd you say? Good thing he bought you that car, Jason.

I know that was the first thing I'm like, I know you bought me this fucking car, but fuck off. I am so mad at you right now.

Sure. All right guys, that's all the time we have for today's podcast. We'll see you guys soon. Bye.