Revealing Natalie's Salary

What's up guys? Welcome back to Views. We are back in action. Natalie's back from vacation. Hey girl, it feels good. If you're thinking this is a pod that you already listened to 2 weeks ago where I say Natalie's back from vacation, you're wrong. This is a brand new episode, but Natalie is also back from vacation. 2 things can be right at once. We left the bachelor party last week. Natalie left early, went straight to vacation in Costa Rica. She told me she was going to be back on Tuesday. It's now Saturday here. Say that she was gone for 5 more days than I thought she was going to be gone for.

How do you function without her?

I can't function without her.

Oh my God.

The first day and the fucking third day on her vacation, I go on TikTok and the post is like her sitting on the beach with the Bruno Mars song.

Today I don't feel like doing it.

I wish that you saw that. I was like, I'm posting this for you, bitch.

Today I don't feel like doing it. I know she's not working. And then I call her.

I'm on vacation, bro. It's what a vacation is.

I call her, I'm like, are there any updates? She goes, updates on what? I'll call you when there are updates.

So, but okay, first of all, I didn't snap on him like that. This guy calling me, calling me, calling me nonstop. I'm in the middle of the jungle with my family eating, getting a smoothie, on a hike, whatever. This man is calling me, he's texting me, what are the updates? Obviously, whenever I have an update, I text you the update.

Yeah, in the first—

you gotta chill.

Me?

Yeah.

Why?

Because she's on vacation. Are you fine?

I'm with Dave on this.

What are you saying?

How many vacations?

I'm totally kidding.

Oh my God, dude, I was about to fucking lose it.

Okay, first of all, yes, I do go on vacation.

How many this year?

Two.

Just two?

That was two? Was like January 14th was two?

No, I went to Australia afterwards and you ended up crashing it and I ended up having to just whatever. When you come on vacation, it's not a vacation for me.

Oh, all of a sudden your friend of 18 years, when he comes, it's not fun anymore.

It wasn't a girls trip anymore. It was now David is in Australia. Costa Rica was the actual, like, real vacation.

Whatever. I don't want to get into this, but have I ever told you my favorite Natalie story? No, no, no. I want to get into this. Have we talked about this on the pod?

I'm scared.

When this is— I mean, it's so funny.

It's not going to paint me in a good light. I know it.

No, I mean, well, he wouldn't tell it if it did.

Would Natalie save those kids and then bury them? No. Um, so, um, uh, when, when your friends found out how much you make— oh my God, have we ever talked about this?

Yeah, I'm rich. Surprise, surprise.

No, no, dude. Do you remember this? Yeah, it was so funny. We were at the— we had Chicago at the hotel. Natalie complains about her work, as people should, okay, to their friends, to their friends, right?

I'm I complain about— I don't complain about my work, I complain about you. I love my work, I love my job, I love what I get to do, but you can be annoying.

Okay, bitch about me all you want, I totally get it. As boss friend, it's— I would bitch about me so much. Whatever, I get that. But we're at the hotel room, it's me and her girlfriend, and like, you got to give context to this. Why?

Okay, just go. You just—

okay, how many years are you in working for me? Like 3 years?

This is 3 years in.

3 years in. And her friend's like, you know, Dave, you gotta pay Natalie more. And long story short, I'm like, I have to pay.

I'm like, you're stuttering because there's no way you're gonna come out of this where you're gonna be looking good.

Okay. Well, 'cause I know you're gonna hit me with, I was underpaid.

Yes, I was underpaid.

And I could argue both sides of this for sure.

It's like a 50/50 thing. But to think that you're gonna be victorious in this conversation.

Well, 'cause in this conversation, I totally was. I can't believe I flipped your friend in that moment. The look she gave you was fucking crazy. How much were you getting paid? You weren't getting paid a lot.

$40 grand, I think.

$40 grand.

Yeah.

Yeah. So yeah, it wasn't like a crazy income, but also the job at the time—

free rent—

was very big. Yeah, she was living with me.

Let's also— let's— okay, we're putting everything against me.

Free rent, free car.

Yeah.

Yes, I had amazing perks, but the job was 24/7. I was doing way— I was not just an email. When I started the job at $40 grand, I was answering emails and getting Chipotle and then I would go home and watch a movie and tuck myself in. Then it evolved into now—

Into her kicking me out of my own home and having her mother come stay in your new home.

Okay, anyway, so this is what happened.

The story was a lot better yesterday when she wasn't here when you were telling it.

Her friend was like, yeah, pay Natalie more. And I'm like, well, has Natalie told you how much she actually makes a year? 'Cause this job is, the one thing about this job is it comes with incredible perks. Like you make a lot more money than your salary because you start to get a following and then you get brand deals.. And then her friend, her friend's like, no, what do you mean? How much does she make? And Natalie's face was priceless. It was, if I could go back to any moment in time in the last couple years, it was that moment.

Do it.

Do it.

Oh my God.

I can't, cuz people are listening. But it was kind of like, it was just her swat. It was just like, fuck. It was like, it was like one of those situations where Natalie's now gonna have to tell her how much she makes. And then Natalie's like, like 3, 400K.

And you're so—

say it louder, Natalie. No, it was like $300,000, $400,000. $300,000, $400,000. And her friend is like, oh. And that was one of my favorite moments.

Yeah. But there's also something different. Like, I mean, I don't want to get into this argument.

I'm not going to argue with you. And I don't think you're wrong for asking more money, for asking for more money, even at the time.

Like I did, Brandon.

But to tell your friends, that you're only making X amount?

I never said that to them. I never said— I don't know why she came out and was like, David, you need to pay her more. That's not just— I wasn't like, I'm just barely surviving out here on my $40,000 a year. Obviously I was making more than $40 grand a year.

Yeah. Yeah. It's just, I don't know, it just felt really good because like, you know, now because we argued about it all the time. Yeah, we would argue about her salary all the time. And I'm like, I know that I pay you whatever, $40, but like, 40,000.

We're gonna roll over $40,000 for 24-hour, 7-day week job.

That was in the past. Now Natalie makes fucking beaucoup money. It's disgusting. Hell yeah. We can't even talk.

I remember one time—

oh my God, what?

I remember one time you guys had an argument about the salary. David calls me and he's like, dude, Natalie's crying right now.

She's like breaking down. I don't know what to do.

And then I go, dude, I think she loves you.

What?

You remember that conversation?

But what was this about?

It was like you guys like had a fight and it was like shortly after.

Wait, why was this about the salary?

You had us— you had a fight about the salary and then it was like something pertaining to her job again. You had another fight and you called me, you're like, dude, Natalie's crying, she like drove away. And I was like, I think she loves you. And you're like, yeah, I think she does too.

What? Deadass. Yeah, we fucking idiots.

We both thought that you loved David.

Well, the point is, is you were lost without her last week. So $400,000, $500,000.

That's what he said. Yeah, whatever. Natalie's paid a good amount more.

More.

Well, first of all, can we clarify?

We had a tough time going to pickleball last week.

Let me clarify this part of the story. Was Natalie underpaid? Yes. Was she overpaid?

Yes. I wasn't overpaid. I was earning my own money on the side. My side hustle was paying me 10x what my main hustle was paying me.

Will we ever find out who was right in that situation? I don't know. I don't know. Because I This is like a real 50/50 thing to me.

I mean, I look at it this way.

Please.

If David didn't provide you the opportunity, you wouldn't be making that money.

Oh, for sure. But isn't that every opportunity in life? It's a matter of you have to also seize the opportunity. I fully seized the opportunity that I was given by David.

Like I said, no point of arguing here because I could, I think in a way I could argue both sides.

For sure. Sure.

I could argue like, you could have said no brand deals.

I'm like, as I'm thinking about it, I'm like, Yes, you could have said no brand deals, but you would have had to pay her $180,000 or $120,000.

He could also— he could have also taken a portion of your brand deals, you know, which is what he should have done in the beginning. Like, hindsight now, if you hire somebody and they start to blow up, obviously you would take a portion of their brand deals.

No, just because, like, that's bad vibes. Yeah, I feel like it's bad vibes. That's exactly— I get it, but like, it's—

well, I mean, I think with a friend it's different, but like, with somebody that's not your friend, I think it's just business.

Yeah, and I don't think we ever had a situation where we were bringing on somebody that we were bringing on like—

To like grow or put them in front of the camera.

Yeah, like we never, we never like, we never casted anybody and like, hey, you're part of this now.

Right.

Give me percentage. Like we were all just friends. So like nobody was taking percentage and everybody was helping everybody. So like there was no such thing. The only reason I'll make this argument for Natalie is because Natalie was the first person to actually be hired. Right, to do a specific role in the company. So that's why I'm 50/50 on it, on the argument, because she wasn't just like a friend shooting the shit with us, making videos. She was studying plants. And then I was like, can you come and do this?

Yeah. And I fucking killed it. You're welcome.

Thank you. Yeah, you go, girl.

Hey, man, you go, girl.

I'll never feel bad.

I don't—

I don't feel bad. I just think it's— Natalie, the only reason I told the story wasn't to make you feel bad. I just— never felt so good in my life when your friend looked at you and she found out you make $400,000 a year when she thought you were making $40,000 at the age of 23. That was the best moment of all time because that's like, we don't talk about money in front of friends.

Also, I didn't even—

I didn't—

my expression didn't drop because I was shocked that my friend finally knew how much money I was making. My expression dropped because of the satisfaction you were about to receive by her expression. And I was pissed that you were about to be like, haha, gotcha.

Yeah, that was one of the highlights of of hanging out with, you know, the friend was making like $60,000 and thought she was better than Natalie. And then she found out. Yeah, that Natalie's making like 5 times that.

Have you ever made money and not told me? Like secretly?

What do you mean made money?

What's the most money you've ever made in one sitting?

In one year or one sitting?

And like what? Like what's like a brand deal you took where you made the most amount of money?

I said this on Jason's podcast, actually.

Oh yeah, I remember that.

What was it?

Oh yeah, it was like $150,000.

For what?

Well, I was like, what the fuck?

See? Yeah, $150 for one brand deal.

And I stopped all that shit to come for you, my guy.

Um, yeah, I mean, it was like doing it.

Yeah, she lowkey is still posting shit.

Yeah, she makes more than Dave now. Honestly.

Yeah, wait, wait, $150 for what?

Uh, it was a— it was like a 6-month deal, like lots of posts, obviously. For who?

Victoria's Secret.

What? I wanted that job.

Wait, are you—

did you do it?

No.

Did it— was there ever a job that came to Dave and Dave passed and you're like, I'll do it?

Yes, that, that's what got into our first problems. Wait, why? What happened? Well, it's like— that was not what happened. It's when the company couldn't afford me, they'd be like, well, how about you, Natalie? That's not true. Yeah, and Natalie would be like, I guess I'll do it.

I'm trying to think what I got through you that was like so a fucking killer. Right when I started working with you, someone called, AT&T called, and they were like, I didn't even understand how it worked, and they were like, yeah, we want you and David. And I was like, okay, I love spending the day with Dave. I was like, oh, psych, we'll get to like hang out, make some content.

You mean sick. Sick.

Oh, psych.

Oh, psych.

I'm from Denmark. Oh, I said, oh, psych. We can have a good time. Okay, and it kind of— and I was like, yeah, yeah, yeah, I'll be there, I'll be there, I'll be there.

Oh, like you wrote me into the brand deal without—

no, no, no, no, they just called and they were like, they're gonna— they want you and David. And I was like, oh, sick, like, awesome. And then it was like, uh, it was like $50,000 to just show up at Hermosa Beach for the day. And I was just like, what?

I couldn't believe it.

Oh yeah, that was something good.

We've talked about this, but this is still one of my favorite deals. Yeah, was, uh, that dude— I fucking love this deal. It was because it was so funny. It was like Twitter came out with a robot or something. Yeah, an AI robot before AI was a thing. And like, people had to talk with it and you had to tweet at it. And it was like— I was— how much was it? It was like over $100 grand or something crazy. And I barely did any— I don't think I even did a post. And then they sent out an email saying, we're discontinuing the program, but we're still going to pay everybody their money because the robot started to respond to people in a racist way. The AI went rogue and people were tweeting racist things. So it was learning from the other people. Yeah. So, so it just went haywire and they had to stop the deal, but they still paid everybody out. Those are always, that's always the craziest thing in this business are kill fees. Mm-hmm. Like so many things, like, like there'll be so many gigs that like, even the, I feel like even like the last 2 months, like the, the, there'll be a, there'll be a brand that'll come like talk to us about doing a potential, potential deal and then they'll be like, sorry, we can't do this anymore. Here's X amount of money just for wasting your time, like, just for talking.

Oh, wow.

Like, I think those— I think that— I think that the kill fees are like the craziest thing in this world.

But hey, I got something.

This is—

I think this is interesting. So you go to a public restroom, right? You're with your girlfriend and you're like, I'm gonna go in the men's room, I'll go in the women's room. The girl unfortunately has to be there for like 3 times as long as the guy. Yeah, because it's always a long line. Oh, the longer line. Completely unfair. And I'm surprised we haven't done more to Fix it.

That's really sweet.

I don't know if it's unfair.

I just think it's like women just take longer.

Yeah, no, they did.

Yeah, there's not like less stalls.

Yeah, they just literally take longer.

They take longer, but why don't we do something about it? Like, why don't we have like women urinals? Okay, or something.

I don't think women want to go in urinals.

I don't know, maybe a little reverse engineering, you know, turn around and squat.

We'd have to do— this is, this is one of those things that's good. That gets clipped on TikTok and people go, they're really giving podcasts to anybody these days. Hold on, let me play ball with you here. Yeah, jump in. You're saying an extra stall?

Or what about why can't women use the men's room?

Because we don't want to.

Yeah, some perverted fantasy you have?

I brought it up to Naveen and she said, she goes, well, we would go and use the urinal, but men are so perverted that we can't go in there, which I said, Well, then why don't you just put urinals in the women's room?

Why the fuck would a woman use a urinal?

I'm not squatting and peeing in front of anybody else other than me in my stall.

Then why not more stalls?

Okay, that's good. I don't know why you went the urinal direction.

I don't know.

I just—

even when there's more— because that's quick.

Quick, dude, we're losing listeners right now. What about you, Tay? Taylor Hudson is here, by the way, if you haven't heard her giggling in the back. What's your most memorable experience from working here so far?

My most memorable experience had to be when we went to a Coldplay music video shoot and David and I got to meet Chris Martin.

Yeah, this was— yeah, we never, we never talked about this, which is kind of crazy. So I was asked to be in a Coldplay music video. This sounds like I'm making it up.

Yeah, and weren't you dressed as like a bug?

As an alien.

I remember seeing the screenshots and I was like, damn, Dave's going out there.

I never made the actual final cut of the music video. That's so funny.

Coldplay, you'll do anything. Like, if I asked you to dress as like an alien, you'd be like, fuck no.

Yeah, I sat in a makeup chair for like 3 hours, like 100% I'll dress as an alien.

No, but they came to the house a couple days prior.

Yeah, they fitted me as an alien and everything. And I want— yeah, so I never made the cut of the music video, so it really does feel like I'm just making up the story, which sucks.

Sure it happened, Dave. Sure it did.

We believe you. But it was one of the coolest one of the coolest experiences, because yeah, okay, so Coldplay reached out, they're like, David, can you be part of this music video? I'm like, fuck yeah, Coldplay, incredible. We get there, I'm in the makeup chair, it's just me and Tay, and then one of the people comes out and they're like, Chris Martin wants to meet you. I'm like, fuck yeah. So we go into this like ginormous green room. It's like we're like at a soundstage area, so there's a bunch of different soundstages, and one of the soundstages that's like, you know, like 20,000 square feet is being used as a green room, and it's just Chris and his son there. And then me and Tay walk in and we hang out with Chris Martin and he's just talking to us about music. It's fucking— it was incredible. It's incredible. And he was the sweetest guy ever. Yeah. And it's just me, Tay, and the lead singer of fucking Coldplay. And I'm like, I'm asking him, you know, all these questions like, so how do you come up with these songs? Like Yellow? Like, how does it happen?

It sounds like a TV show. Yeah. How did you come up with Yellow?

Well, well, he said this interesting thing, which was like, which is a real Chris Martin answer. Yeah. And but like, I kind of believe it. He's like, he's like, I don't— this is going to sound like cheesy coming from me, but the way it comes off is his tongue with his accent is so endearing and charming. But he's like, I don't, I don't necessarily say I wrote the songs or I came up with them, but I feel, I feel like I'm a vessel for the songs. So like, like, like he's like, I feel like the songs were given to me from whatever the outside worldly powers are. And I am blessed to be able to share them with people.

That's a big part of the Dylan movie. That's in the Dylan movie.

Oh, really?

Yeah. Where he's like, Bob Dylan's like, people ask me how those songs came to me, and what they really want to ask is, why didn't they come to them?

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

No, it's, it's, it's true.

It's really crazy. Yeah. And, and, and yeah, that was kind of like, that's kind of, that was kind of my takeaway from it. I mean, what else?

He used to play soccer or anything?

Hacky sack? No, we just talked to him and I asked him, I was like, why don't you do more TikToks? Because this was like during my, during like my heavy TikTok era where I was like, like 2 2 or 3 a day. I wasn't asking him for him to be in one of mine. I was just asking. Yeah, in general. And he's like, why would I do that? And again, in a nice way. And I go, I don't know, just for fun, just to like, you know, fuck around. And he goes, it feels like if I did TikTok, I'd just be like screaming into the void, which makes sense. I feel— why would Chris Martin make TikToks? Yeah, you know what I mean? Of course. Like, imagine being like this great singer who's selling out stadiums. Yeah, like the last thing you need is like a little bit more like weird phony attention. He's already so fulfilled in life and he does such a great —powerful thing where the last thing he needs is to be posting goofy videos. But I have to say, I mean, Tay, Tay fell in love with Chris Martin.

It was the accent.

It was the— so charming. He's so, so charming. He's in top 5 celebrities I've ever met.

You got excited the other day. You were talking about making a TV show. Yeah, David called me the other night when I was in bed with Naveen, and he asked me if we had sex.

That's not why I got excited.

Oh yeah, no, that's not why you got excited.

No, I got excited because I watched the TV show And I was like, they should make it. And I had another idea for a TV show, but it felt like completely ripping off the TV. We saw The Studio with Seth Rogen. Yeah. And I—

Best thing I've seen in a long time.

Yeah, it felt so fresh. It felt very like 2025.

It's awesome.

And yeah, I called Jay. I was like, imagine if they made a show like this. And I was like, brace yourself with influencers because I don't know, it's even hard to describe on here. Everything with influencers sucks. Isn't it crazy? Just sucks. Why is that? Why do things suck with— has an influencer figured it out yet? Like done anything that's—

There's ones that have crossed over.

That's not what I'm saying. I'm saying, has any influencer figured out like how to create a piece of content that is like Oscar, Grammy, not Grammy because a lot of YouTubers start or a lot of social media people start out as singers.

I think the problem is content requires you to post a lot and anything good It takes a couple of years. Like anything on that level. Like Seth Rogen probably been working on the studio for like 3 years, 5, maybe 10, who knows? You know?

Maybe.

I think that's the nature of it.

I'd love to have Seth Rogen on the pod.

Yeah, that'd be a good one.

Why don't you call him? Oh yeah, why don't I call him?

Why don't you DM him? Hey, I got stopped at the Mexican border once. Why?

This is from when you were in college? Yeah. Okay, that's tough, that's tough. How do we make it seem fresh?

Do you have any border stories? I'm having all these flashbacks lately, Dave, of my life.

Like good or bad or both?

I don't know. You forget stuff. I was watching the show Weeds and it's a great show.

You know what confuses me about what you just said? Yeah. Is how does that work? Like, how do you like, how do you forget things and then someone comes into your life and all of a sudden you remember it? Do you know what I mean? Like, where the fuck is it? Yeah. Like, where is it being stored? I don't know. I don't know. Anyway, back to your border story. What happened?

No, we were on spring break and me and my 3 friends, we drove out to Colorado. We saw the Grand Canyon, blah, blah, blah. And then one day this guy's like, let's go into Mexico. Let's go into Tijuana. Oh, wow. And then I was like, not that I was the least confident of all of them. And I was like, I don't know, guys, that doesn't sound like a good idea.

How many guys were you with?

3 other guys. They're like, go on, be a fucking pussy. Let's fucking go to Mexico for the day. I'm like, for what? Like, what are we going to do there? And they're like, go down there and like, look at—

There's no way you were like that even as as a kid?

I was when I was 20, of course. Really?

Like, for what?

What are you— I was the Jew, of course. That's like, Jewish kids always timid.

What is that, you're just like nervous?

Yeah, yeah, you know, I don't go to Mexico, I don't know what's gonna happen down there. Really? Yeah. Go ahead.

Was everybody— were all your friends exciting and you were always like the one that was like reluctant to do things?

Yeah, all my friends were really exciting. They were awesome. They used to fight, they used to drink and black out. And I'd be like, "I don't know, guys." They were awesome. They were way funnier than me.

Incredible, incredible comics. Okay, so hit me.

So what happened? So yeah, so like we go into Mexico for the day. So we're in Mexico and it's like, you know, buy drugs, buy this. And then one of my friends buys weed and I'm like, "What are you doing?

What are you doing?" Oh, this is when it's like really illegal.

Yeah, like, "Why are you buying weed? Like, we're only here for a couple hours." What are you doing? He's like, nah, man, we're in Mexico, let's fucking have a good time. So he like buys this fucking shitty weed, and then like, we're like, all right, let's go back. Like, we have to go back, we gotta get back in. It's gonna take us a couple hours to get back in. Doesn't even smoke the weed. Oh, fuck. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I'm like, why did you buy that? I'm like, just throw it out, like get rid of it. And he's like, okay, okay. And he just throws it out. So then we go back through the border And we're going through customs and a guy just comes up and he just looks at us and he's like, "Hey, got any drugs in this car?" Like that. And the guy who bought the weed, it just starts freaking out. He just starts sweating. Sweat pouring. And he's like, "Wait right here." And he walks away and he's like, "What do we do? What do we do? What do we do?" And I'm like, "There's no drugs in the car. We threw it out." And they pulled us over and they kept us there for like an hour. Wow. Yeah. And they checked everything.

But it was true that your friend got rid of the drugs? Yeah.

Okay, good. But the point is he was the pussy.

I was like, where's this story going?

You know, I tried. The end. What else?

And then at the end, I thought someone was—

I think we're flowing now.

I thought there was gonna be a shootout or something. Oh yeah. Or like your friend actually had the drugs on him.

Yeah, my friend got shot. Good. My friend Ben won. Yeah. And then I karate chopped the guard. Yeah.

Your friend got bit by a snake. You had to suck the venom out.

Yeah, the whole thing. Well, he got bit on his penis.

That was really funny ending to the story because you were building it really well. And I'm like, damn, I can't wait to get to the peak of this. It's going to be insane. And then it was like, yeah. And then they let us through the border, but he shouldn't have bought that weed.

That was wrong. Comment replace Jason.

No, that was a good Jay story.

You ever been to Mexico?

You on a first date?

You don't like to go anywhere. Not Mexico.

McClain, my friend. Yeah, she has a great story that she recently told me from Mexico.

All right, let's— how about we bring her in? And Jayden, if it beats your story, McClain can be the new co-host. How about we give her like $1,000? That's fair. If it beats your story.

Of course it's gonna beat it.

It's really good.

What do you mean, of course it's gonna beat it?

I can beat her in other ways. My Mexico story wasn't great.

J, but you kind of hyped it up from the beginning. I'm trying to get a good border story and have it be, have it be your friends nervous at the border. Everybody's nervous.

It was funny when Naveen thought it was funny.

Let me call Naveen. Hello? Hey Naveen, it's David and Jason. Hi. You're on the pod right now. Jason just told us the Mexico border story that you recommended for him to tell on the pod.

The Mexico border story? Yeah. Hang up.

Well, did you not tell— did he not tell you a story about when he was at the Mexican border? His college story? Yes, yes, yes. When he was younger, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And you enjoy that story? I think it's really funny. Okay, cool. What part of it was— what part of it did you enjoy the most? Um, I love the part where, like, his friend is, like, scared. Yeah, I like that part too. Okay, just making sure. I was seeing if I called you if maybe there were other parts of the story that maybe he left out, um, just on accident. Did he tell you that, like, he did have someone hidden in the trunk?

Oh, I forgot that part. I forgot that part. I love you, baby.

Love you so much. Thank you, Naveen, for recommending that.

Did you not think it was a funny story?

No, it's just when you hear Mexico border story, you're preparing for the craziest thing ever. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

It didn't cut the mustard.

Can we title this video Mexico border story and see what people expect? Thanks, Naveen. Bye. Fuck yeah, a fucking jam-packed, action-packed pod.

Let's go to Mexico.

Let's go tonight. I can't.

Come on.

No, the cartel stuff scares me.

David, I want to let you know that you killed it today on the friendship test. Wait, really? I sent you—

Oh yeah, yeah, he sent me— Yeah, you sent me a text. I had no idea what it meant.

Yeah, me too. Basically, it's a friendship test. You text your friend, friends, friends, friends, and then say, pick a number. Between 1 and 10. Between 1 and 10. Yeah. And if they pick over 7, that means that they really value your friendship.

And I picked 9.

And Dave came back at 9. Oh, wow. Guess what Natalie came back at? Probably like 2. 3. Fucking 3.

That's great. Well, that's my lucky number. I pick 9 for a reason.

Because you don't like me as much as a 10? No, no.

Well, I always pick high when people say 1 through 10 because of the videos on TikTok that are like, pick a number 1 through 10. And then if you pick a higher number, that's what they tip you. Oh, okay. So I thought you were gonna give me cash, so I chose 9 because I was like, oh yeah, I want $900.

There's only one person that beat you. Who? Ilya. You said 10? Came back with a fucking 10, and that is my guy.

But you said you went to me, huh? You said you went to me.

I just wanted to make you think that.

Oh, anything else?

Oh, I have skin cancer. Oh, you found out about that?

Actually I'm tired of that.

Well, that's great. I'll be in surgery in a couple of weeks.

But really, you do have skin cancer?

I will call you for a ride. Is it skin cancer, though? Yeah, it is. I get it. But like, is it like the— you know, it's not the real thing. Of course it is. Yeah, but it's like Harry had skin cancer and it's like it's a mole. It's removed.

But it's the second time I have had it.

No, I know, but it's just such a trigger word. Okay. It's like you either have the real thing or not, right?

No, I feel like skin cancer— people think about— when I think about skin cancer, I think like you have your You have it all across your body, like it's spread and like you're gonna die.

I have it in 2 spots now. Yeah, so it is a little scary.

What are the 2 spots? It's gonna be removed by surgery. You can't do that, Jay. You can't, you can't do that.

I had it removed.

I'm putting my foot down. I had, I had an operation already, but it's removable. When I hear cancer, I think like no time to live, I'm going through treatments.

Yeah, I said skin cancer. I didn't say fucking stage 4 Hodgkin's.

I know, but it's just such a trigger word and I hate to be on the woke side of things, But I just feel like—

Scott came in at 7.

I just feel like it doesn't do— like, people actually have cancer.

Okay, let's move on. People actually have— Jay has cancer, but not that type of cancer.

It's not good enough cancer for Dave. Well, you know what I mean. I'll call you when I have lung cancer.

Like, there's people actually that have really bad cancer and like, you're gonna get shaved off.

No, it wasn't that I was looking for sympathy. I was just sparking something to talk about.

You're not getting sympathy here.

Oh, I can feel it. I can feel it.

You got to hear his Mexico story.

We went to Mexico.

Dude, wait, neither of these people were here for the border story. Guys, we have Natalie and Ilia here. Jake, can you please tell them your border story? For the people listening, you don't have to hear it again. We're just going to cut to the very end of the story and get Ilia and Natalie's reaction. Go.

One time when I was in college, I was like kind of like the pussy in the group.

Yeah, that's it. What?

What do you think? I'm confused.

What do you think of the story?

It was fine. What do you mean? It was nothing happened.

I'm so confused.

What do you think, Matt? That's it.

I was expecting more for sure.

I thought something funny was going to happen. The point is that he's the pussy.

Oh yeah, I got that. He fucking—

I got that part in the very beginning. Yeah, he said he started sweating. I was like, oh, this guy's the pussy. Yeah, yeah.

Okay.

I thought he like lowkey had like a brick of cocaine in his pocket.

I thought he secretly had Yeah. And then like pinned it on Jason and then Jason went to jail for like 3 months. That would've been a good story. No, no. When he told me that, I was like, uh-huh. Oh my God. It was amazing. We went out to like Heath's surprise party yesterday and we were sitting next to Joe. I'm like, Joe, you gotta hear this story. It's my favorite. I told Jason to title this podcast Mexico Border Story. Just so people are at the edge of their seat. Cause he starts it really well. Yeah. You're like, fuck yeah. I was like, you can't go to the Mexico border and not have a good story, especially with 4 college boys. Yeah. But the story is practically just people being nervous at the border. And I told Jay, I'm like, Jay, everybody's nervous at the border.

Hey, are you on steroids?

Why do you ask?

Because my TikTok says you are.

Oh, there's this doctor that's saying I'm on steroids. Yeah. See, it's hard to respond to that because like, I would say yes or no. Well, I'm not. I know you're not. But it's like, first, just you acknowledging it. Like, I have responded to it once somewhere.

I don't know where.

On your Snapchat? Yeah. Yes, on my Snap, but I felt like a douche acknowledging the fact that, like, right, I would even think that my body looks like it's on steroids. It does. Like, that's already accepting, like, some sort of insane compliment. Not really. I mean, it's like, like, I don't think I looked like I was on steroids.

People are trying to discredit your results. It's like pretty fucking bad.

But that's not discrediting. If someone says you're on steroids, that's like the biggest compliment you can receive.

No, it's really not. What?

No, it's not. No, it's not, dude. Really?

Yeah.

You cheated.

You cheated, yeah.

First of all, I don't think to get into shape is a big deal. Let me just say that.

You gotta stop saying that, dude.

I think anybody can do it.

Obviously anybody could fucking do it, but not everybody's doing it for a reason.

Because it's fucking dumb. I said it here on The Views podcast.

You're a fucking pussy, dude.

Fuck you, Elliott.

Fuck you, man. I think what's more important is a healthy, balanced lifestyle.

And bathrooms for women.

More bathroom stalls. More bathroom stalls or urinals for women, I don't give a fuck. I think getting in shape is overrated. I'm so sorry I said it. Enjoy your life. I think, Ilya, what you taught me, I'll never regret. And here's the thing, I think you should always take it— I think you should once in your life get in the best shape of your life. I think that's important. I'm not taking that away, but I think, should you be fucking shredded and ripped 24/7? I don't think so. I don't think so either. Okay, sorry, I think I overcorrect. By being as dramatic as I am. Do you know what I mean? Like, I definitely don't mean go be fat and eat chips and like overindulge, but I'm just saying like getting into such good shape and being so like regimented about everything made me so angry because I was missing out on so many good things. Like, you know, the fatty foods, the pizzas, the pastas.

Yeah, everything is good in moderation.

And I will say to keep abs It fucks with you. You can't have anything. You really have to be regimented to keep your abs.

Can you have a piece of cake and have abs?

Yes, you can. Can you have a piece of cake every night like you'd really want to? Yeah, yeah. No, you can't, right? You can't.

But that's where like the in moderation thing comes into play. Like, you can have McDonald's, you can have cake, you can have anything you want as long as it's regimented.

I used to know a guy who was a bodybuilder, and he would have one piece of cake for the week. And each night he would go in and take one forkful and eat it.

And that's not fun for me. And I hate being so dramatic about, about this, but it's just like, I get people that like to exercise, but my thing is just eating and enjoying things. And I want to stay healthy, and I'm never getting— you could quote me on this— I'm not getting back to where I was before. And thank you to Ilya for, you know, not giving me— but I also won't be walking around with a six-pack all the time. I still have it. A little bit, thank the Lord. But like, in 4 months, I think I'm just gonna be like a regular— I, I still exercise every day. I do my cardio every day, and I think I will for a long time.

But also lift though, like what, 3, 4 times a week?

So I, I still lift and I'm still gonna do that, but like, just to count my calories every day is just not my vibe. So sorry, I did just come in really hot, Ilya, and I, and I apologize for disrespecting your business. Um, but it is just so grueling to go through that transformation where like, now that I'm out of it, I'm like Fuck yeah, I'm gonna eat whatever the fuck I want, but still exercise.

You know, the whole Zilla thing has like changed my entire perception about like wanting a man with— that's like ripped with abs. Because I think about it now, because like what you went through and obviously what I— what I went through, like it's like a part-time job.

Like, yeah, it's making it sound like I put you through like fucking absolute—

you didn't put— you didn't put us through anything that wouldn't be necessary for anybody else to do. Like, that— what you put us through is what you have to do to get into that kind of shape.

Like, you're really— you're thinking about your nutrition or your exercise.

You're a buzzkill at parties. You're a buzzkill going out.

Wait, keep going.

What you were saying about finding a man— if someone's listening to this, there's nothing impressive or cool about being on a diet when you're going out. Like, when someone asks—

girls don't find that attractive.

No, when someone asks, like, why won't you have cake, or why won't you drink with us tonight, and your answer is because you're on a diet, nobody's gonna find that impressive.

Everyone's just gonna think you're a buzzkill. Yeah, I just think like now when I look at somebody, like if I'm like scrolling through a dating app and I see a man that is like ripped, I'm like, oh, I mean, that's nice. You want someone that cares about their health and their wellness. But like, I just know that that man, that's like, he's thinking about those abs. Yeah.

For 70% of the day. David has turned you off on guys that are ripped.

I just have like a different perception about it now. Like it takes, it takes a lot of work to be ripped.

But I don't think that it—

but there's a different argument though, because For people that do this as like their job, I'm assuming that you're talking about some like fitness influencer.

Well, no, I'm not. I'm talking about just like a man that probably has another job, but he's also ripped. So I'm like, okay, well then where do I fit in that equation? You know?

Okay, well, I will say one thing, like if you do stick with it, you do start to understand how to incorporate regular things into your life.

And then also, can you, can you, but can you explain? You always said that to me. You're like, you're going to start liking, you're going to start liking it. I still hate lifting. I think lifting sucks. Yeah.

Well, here's the difference between you and like everybody else. You did the transformation like more so for me than you did for yourself, in my opinion. And like, that's why you're having such trouble like facing the fact that lifting is great, because you just never liked it. You didn't go into it liking it, like you didn't go— you didn't come out of it liking it. So like, it's just kind of like a— I can't really have an argument for you. But I will say like, it is important to strength train as you start to get older.

Sorry, Jay, I pointed at you.

I don't know why.

I mean, I do know Um, but okay, because you're dying.

Yeah, you have cancer. Just gonna get there. Yo, my favorite, we were in, uh, we were in Hong Kong. Ilya has an Asian fetish. It's kind of crazy. It's not a fetish. Can you say that? Are you allowed to fetishize a whole culture?

I don't really know if that's a fetish thing.

Yeah, he's into Asian girls. Fetish, dude.

I just like Asian people. Sorry, he's a thing for Asian people. Sure, like a lot. Like, it's crazy. Yeah, I love fucking love Asians. Ilya.

Ilya.

I mean, Jay. Yeah, it's a—

yeah, should go to North Korea.

North, not South. Listen, can I say this? Ilya, Ilya, okay, so we took a trip around the world. Ilya doesn't like going out, but he has such a love for Asian women that when we got to Hong Kong, it was raining out. The first bad weather we've had on this entire trip, right? Monsoon, like horrible weather. Ilya's like, why the fuck aren't we going out? We're like, Ilya, it's monsooning out. And he's like, who cares? We all have like diarrhea, like from Egypt. Like, we've really been fucked on this trip and we're all dying, like food poisoning. But Ilya's like, we gotta go out, let's hit the fucking clubs. If Ilya wants to go out, this is a special occasion, so let's go out. And this is the most Ilya has gotten fucked up this entire trip. Ilya has had— and Ilya is so fucked up, he's finally dancing, he's finally hit his groove, he's having a good time. I haven't seen Ilya that drunk in a while. Where I'm peeing next to him in the urinal, I'm peeing and I just hear Ilya like 3 steps behind me me peeing. Same urinal. It's one of those urinals that like is like in the wall and it's like a long one. It's like all connected. Like, you know, like at baseball games, like a tub. It's like a tub. Yeah. And Ilya is like, yo, this urinal is like really fucking small. And I'm like, what are you talking about? It's huge. And I look behind me and Ilya is trying to pee into the little fucking, into the, into the hole in the ground, into a drain, into a drain. I'm like, Ilya, you're peeing on the ground.

That's not the urinal. Two podcasts a week. Two podcasts a week. 2. Guys, it's Jason. I've got the microphone right now. If you want 2 podcasts a week, flood David's DMs right now.

Yeah, would you guys want 2 podcasts a week? Here, this is what I thought. If we're gonna do 2 podcasts a week, yeah, we have to do 3 a week. Oh my God, good luck. I mean, I think that's the only way.

I mean, I'll move in.

It's way too many, dude.

Yeah, you literally have to like—

I think you do Monday, Wednesday, Friday. You've been here hours. I think if we're going to do 2 podcasts a week, you add a third, and then it's like a real regiment for people that like listen.

Okay, so 3 a week is 6 hours of recording a week. So that's every day, guys, and I'll give you Sunday off if you want.

How about this? Let us know if, if there was to be more Views podcast, would you guys want 2 a week, keep it to 1 a week because it's like a special thing and you have like— that's the allotted time, it feels good that just one's coming a week, or would you Do you even want 3 a week? Or would that, you know, would you guys get annoyed? And if it's 3 a week, the quality will suffer a tad bit for sure, right? Like, it just, it won't be like—

Yeah, it could be different types of shows. Like, you could do one that's like—

I also have this dream of like, you, sorry, you can go. Your friends hate you, Dave.

I know they do. They hate you.

They don't even pay rent. I saw a Reddit thread I went to go shoot Alex with my squirt gun the other day and someone like clipped it from my Snapchat and they're in the caption like, he fucking hates this. And then someone under it said, I'd get shot with a squirt gun every fucking 2 hours if it meant living rent-free. But yeah, Alex definitely hates it. That's fucking really good. Yeah. How many podcasts should we do a week?

I like the idea of doing 2 podcasts a week.

Well, I like 3. Sorry to cut you off. Yeah. Okay. I do like— I'll do 3. I'll do 9. I'll do 9 in 1 week.

Why do you like 3?

I like 3 because like, and I maybe I'm not— maybe I'm like trying to make things happen like they were before and like, and because I know it worked for me before because like I did 3 a week for vlogs. Yeah, because I knew if I did 1 a week I'd stop doing them because it wouldn't encompass every minute of my life. So that's why I did 3, because I'm like, this is gonna take up my entire life, and that's what I needed to do. It's all or nothing. That's right. So like, so yeah, in a world, do I see doing 3 a week? Do I think it's fucking insane? For me, yes. I think it's, I think it's a lot for a guy who quit the podcast for 2 years. One was too much.

I don't know. We're gonna have to have some guests in here that you're not crazy about.

I love guests. I'm not even saying like celebrity guests. I love guests. Like, I want to have like firefighters and like, I mean, everybody, everybody on planet Earth has incredible stories. Yeah. And just to like talk to anybody, it does not have to be a celebrity for me. Like, I actually would prefer somebody just from regular life. Like, like every— I think everybody has like one or two, like late night.

Dude, you got to meet my, my Orkin guy. The guy that comes and kills the rats at my house.

Is he amazing?

Oh, he's amazing. Glenn is awesome.

Well, like, I just think that's like so much more low pressure. Yeah. Like the one thing I didn't like when we were doing celebrity interviews, which I know I kind of want to be a late night talk show host, so that's like my whole thing, is the pressure of it really kind of sucked. Yeah. And it made me feel not good. Like I had this pit in my stomach and then when it was over, I was like, oh, thank God it's over. But it was like a rewarding feeling when I was so good at it. I was just panicking the whole time.

Like, actually good at it. Yeah.

But I'd rather have like, I'd rather have just like a random fucking random person that has like the craziest story of them managing a Home Depot. Someone broke in during like— there was a robbery and someone stole all the plywood, whatever the fucking story. Like, I find that, I find that really interesting. And a regular person can give you 10 times crazier stories than a celebrity can because there's no PR that they're trying to maintain, and we can keep them anonymous. Do you know what I mean? So like, they can really go crazy where a celeb would be like week.

Okay, I don't know. So yeah, so all we would need to do is I move in and—

well, that's the thing, it's like, walk around. We travel a lot. Like, how are you— how are you gonna be— how are we able to maintain? Yeah, so close. What?

I forgot about the traveling.

All the fucking traveling you guys do. Oh yeah, yeah. I mean, we're gone every other week. Let's just— let's just see what people would— people will say. And, and don't just say 3 podcasts a week just because like really think about it as a listener and be like, what can I actually, how much of these guys can I take? Or if you're saying no more podcasts too, we'll take that too. If someone's like, I think I've had enough after this one, let us know that too.

I think 2 is good because it's like, you're going to be gone. Yeah. You won't be able to get 3.

Yeah, but 3 is nice because like you are like, it's not only for us.

It's like a regiment. Like you're in, like as a listener, you're like. It's like a routine. And that's why I like 3 a week on the vlog, because it was like just a part of everyone's life all the time. Like, in a perfect world, if I wasn't traveling, if I wasn't doing shit, I'd do a podcast every day that's like 15-20 minutes. So like the perfect amount of time for someone to get to work or from work or whatever in traffic, and every day. And we open every podcast with like, what's up guys, welcome back to Views, it's 75 degrees today, Thursday.

Do you know what I mean?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like, I think that's cool. 7 days a week. Week every fucking day. I think that's so sick. I just don't know how to make that work. Okay, so let us know if you'd like to hear once a week, twice a week, 3 times, or 7.

Uh, okay, so, so last thing I'll say is we're doing it now, so if, if we were doing 3 a week, I would have to be back here— today's Monday— I would have to be back here Tuesday night.

It'd be 5. Yeah, you'd be here 5 days a Yeah, because you'd be editing, or you'd be— yeah, so it's a lot. But yeah, all right guys, well, let us know what you think. That's all the time we have for today's podcast, but let us know how many more you want. You guys put the order in. Okay, we'll see you soon. Bye.