My Vacation Sexcapade

What's up guys, welcome back to Views. We are live from the Philippines. Sorry, this episode is a little late. I'm here with Natalie Taylor and Ilya. We are raw dogging it today. I told everyone here that we have to make this episode like completely raw and, uh, we can't, we can't have Jason edit this because it's already so late in LA that this is going up so late. So if anyone has anything to say, um, that they want cut out, it's not going to be cut out. It's all going to be fully in.

Really?

Yeah.

Great.

No pressure.

Well, it looks like I won't be talking.

Okay. Yeah.

Ilya, keep your mouth shut.

Currently we're in the Philippines. Life's been good, um, for some. For some. Oh wow. Yeah, we just met— we met up with Taylor. So we came from Sydney. I feel like we've been talking about this trip on the podcast for like 2 months and now we're like finally in the middle of it. Um, so we came from Sydney which we can talk about later. But Taylor came from John, our roommate's hometown's, like, um, homeland, hometown in the Philippines. And Taylor had a very different approach than our Ritz-Carlton approach into the Philippines. Well, what happened with you?

Oh, you know, um, yeah, I was excited to meet everyone from John's hometown. I definitely know you're recording like it's a—

you're talking like it's a documentary.

I don't want to be offensive, that's all.

But why would you be offensive?

Because I don't want to offend their hometown.

Oh, their homeland. I don't know what you're about to say, but you could, you could just say that.

You just wasn't, you know, it wasn't a smooth ride, that's for sure. Coming from— we went to Japan first.

Yeah.

And coming from Japan, it was definitely some culture shock.

Yeah. Taylor's just culture shocked from the whole thing.

Yeah.

The main thing that she took away was that there was a moment where they were on a boat And the bathroom was what, a hole in the ground?

Oh yeah.

Uh-huh.

So there was just a hole in the middle of the boat and it went into the water. I don't know where it went. I don't. So I was trying to decide like, is it going to stay there or can you flush it? Cause there's no button to flush. You have to use like a bucket of water and then put it in the hole. And I think it like suctions it down.

Oh, okay. So, oh, so it's not like a direct hole. The way you described it is you look down and you could see fish.

Okay, okay, no, but I thought maybe if it went to like the left or the right, then maybe then you would see the fish.

So I didn't know if it just exited the boat. Okay, so what did you do?

So I had to go to the bathroom. We had like basically the full day on this boat and there was no bathroom in sight whatsoever. We weren't stopping anywhere. Um, so I, I asked this little— this mom with the baby.

Why are you laughing?

Yeah, I'm sorry, just like, what's the point of the story is what he's trying to get to.

I just don't want to say that I had to shit in a bag.

Oh, now you did. This is raw.

Well, yeah, where were you gonna go with the story? Were you just gonna keep saying there was no bathroom? I was hand signaling Taylor to be like, all right, come on, come on. Right.

Well, I mean, you guys, like, what would you do?

I would shit in a bag.

I would not shit in a bag.

You would shit yourself?

I would just hold it.

I don't know what I would—

no, I tried.

Obviously Taylor tried to fucking hold it, dude. She's not a fucking private.

We were also on the boat from 7 AM until 5 PM.

Like, what are you supposed to do all day long?

And like, my body wouldn't be like, it's time to go.

You would be in like so much like writhing pain. You had to go.

No, I, I understand.

I love how you like to come off like you're Little Miss Clean Boy. You don't fart, you don't shit.

No, you'd be fucking diarrhea-ing in that No, but my body would like mentally not let me poop.

I did that. I tried for hours.

And then you went in a bag?

Well, stick him on the boat.

You're in your swimsuit, like you're—

I'm confused how you're more grossed out about this than Taylor is.

More grossed out? I just like can't imagine going into a bag. I'm so sorry. I don't know. Is that that crazy?

It was better than sitting on the toilet or like the little hole.

That's insane to me. That would definitely take the hole, right?

I would take the hole too, actually.

Yeah, exactly.

Oh, I didn't know there was an option.

What do you mean? That was our whole setup. That was our whole 4-minute setup.

Was that there was a hole, but she chose either a hole or the bag.

But are you squatting open over the hole? There's no seat, right?

Squatting over the hole?

Yeah, it's a hole in the ground by your feet. But that's, that's Asian culture, right?

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yes, 100%.

So that's not even, that's not even like the boat.

There's no toilet seat, you realize that? There's no toilet in general.

You squat.

But that's like a lot of places that don't have toilets.

Okay, and now imagine like just— I wouldn't go with water like, like riding up to your ankle like a little bit.

Okay, while you're squatting, are you just like adding things? Are you just like ChatGPT more things into the story? Now add more water to—

water to ankles. Why did you decide the bag over the hole?

Because this mom offered me a bag and her baby went in there, so I was like, okay.

You had to— you had to hold the bag under you?

Yeah, over the hole. Oh my God, squatting over the hole.

So then at that point, why don't you just go in the hole?

Can I?

Okay, so you were squatting already, you're just in your head, you're like, I'm gonna On top of this, I'm gonna catch it.

Yeah, because this was the only bathroom for like 30 people.

Taylor decided to challenge herself.

But then what do you do with the bag?

Oh, you were more—

there's a trash can.

Oh, you were more embarrassed of people seeing it?

Yes, I didn't want— I didn't want it to like sit there.

Why?

Because everyone had to use this bathroom.

Isn't there other shit in that hole?

It was a brand new toilet.

It was just pee.

Oh, okay, I guess so you'd be the first.

So yes, and everyone by this point, Taylor comes out of the toilet.

I just shit in the bag. Where'd I put it? Don't worry, nothing in the toilet.

No, I asked where to put it. They said the trash.

Okay.

Oh my God.

But okay, let me be clear. It wasn't like— it wasn't—

was it a white bag or was it a blue? It was a blue bag.

He wasn't that successful. Like, I honestly couldn't get myself to do it. Like, I think from then on I'm just like constipated.

What do you mean it wasn't that successful? Dude, what the fuck does that mean? It wasn't that successful.

Like, I just want to be clear, it wasn't, it wasn't like—

Did you go or did you not go?

I mean, I tried, but like, it kind of worked, it kind of didn't.

Okay, all right, that's enough.

Yeah, I feel like we've got— we've crossed the line now.

100%.

Actually, we crossed the line a while ago.

100%. I think we should have just trusted her when she was stalling and not wanting to finish the story. But, um, okay, great. So then when Taylor got to this hotel, She was like, toilet seat. She was so excited.

Airbnb.

Yeah, she's texting me like, oh no, I've never been more grateful in my entire life. When I even coming down, like when we landed in this island, it's a world's difference.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, I could see that. Yeah, yeah, you had some serious culture shock. That was your first time being in a country that's, that's toilet seatless?

I mean, it wasn't even— yeah, by this point I'm just just, you know, existing.

Tara's really going through it. Um, okay, and then we came from Sydney, which I also had a bad experience there. Not necessarily as bad as anywhere near comparable. No, I got sun poisoning though. That was pretty intense.

Have you guys— if anybody's ever seen, there's like a Modern Family episode where the dad goes to Australia and literally has the same exact thing that happened to David happens to the dad in Modern Family. And it's this whole like comedic episode where he goes out, he lays in the sun, thinks it's going to be great, and he gets this like raccoon-like sunburn across his eyes.

Well, that wasn't even the worst part. I literally— I, I tanned for like— I tanned for like an hour, and, and I didn't put on sunscreen, if I'm being honest, because I was just like, I just want to get like— I want to look like I've been here.

Yeah.

And there's a hole in the ozone apparently over Australia, which is like— that's so unfortunate. Um, and then I— my entire face got destroyed, and then I went to go play pickleball after And I think the sweat filled up all of the, all of the, all of the skin that was peeling from that day. And I had blisters all over the top of my chest. So it was fucking— I've never seen— I've never seen blisters. I've never seen blisters like that. It was like, it was like animated cartoon blisters on me from the sun poisoning. So yeah, so I wasn't really good at that. So Sydney was a miss. No, no. Other than, other than that, Sydney was incredible. We had a New Year's party. Guys, this episode of Views is brought to you by PrizePicks. Whether you're starting a new routine or making player picks for the first time, trying something new can be hard. But in life and on PrizePicks, it always feels good to be right. With high-pressure playoff matchups every weekend and elite hoop action almost every night, the action never stops and PrizePicks lets you take control. Jay, you know I'm a big fan of PrizePicks.

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So that is not true. I hate that you set me up that way, like that I'm just fucking— I mean, you know, gallivanting back me up here.

I mean, all the stories that I'm looking at looks like you're totally on vacation.

Well, obviously I'm not, just like—

oh, you're just like such a beautiful storyteller that you just like You go and you take a picture on the beach and you're not actually there for 6 hours a day.

Take a picture, yeah, of the beach or of the like workout class that I did. That's not, that's not me just like on vacation.

Natalie, you are straight up on vacation. Here's the thing, Natalie duped me into going, not that I don't like Sydney, but she duped me to going to Sydney so she can be with all her girlfriends for New Year's.

No, I just thought it would be an amazing opportunity. Usually we stay in LA.

That's what she keeps saying. She uses the word opportunity when she wants a vacation.

Yeah. You have a lot of opportunities. If I wanted to go on a vacation, I wouldn't invite you.

And then when she came, and then when we got to— we got to the Philippines and we're in Cebu, we're on the specific island for like literally 2 days. We get here, we're like, okay, what should we go film because we don't have much time? Natalie comes down with her sister and her swimsuit and like, and like a little bag. And I know that's like, maybe to like somebody listening to this is like, it's like you're on a tropical island, God forbid you're in a bikini. But like, we have to, we want, we have to go do activities, like go into town.

I wanted to jet ski. I thought that'd be a great activity. I know Ilya loves jet skiing.

We're jet skiing today. You wanted to do beach 2 days in a row.

We're not jet skiing today.

Yeah, so we're not jet skiing today.

No.

Yeah, we are.

Well, now we probably will because David's like, we're gonna do it tomorrow.

No, we literally, we asked him, we said, when are we jet skiing? He said, we're doing it tomorrow. I have 2 jet skis tomorrow.

Oh, okay.

I didn't know that.

Okay, so you, what do you think about this?

Do you honestly think you deadass think that I'm just sitting here on vacation every time we go places? Because I think we can all agree that's not the truth.

Um, I think that—

did I go to the beach for 2 hours one day? Yes, I did.

One day, dude. There's like pictures of you like walking in bikinis.

To be fair, it's like, it's really hard to be not on vacation when it's, you know, you're traveling for New Year's and you're having fun. Like, it's really hard.

So listen, can we all agree that if I wanted to be on vacation, but you are on vacation, David would be nowhere in sight? Like, I would not You are not my vacation buddy. Like, let's be honest, you make it pretty not vacation.

I understand.

Every time I want to go—

you just admit that you, you booked Sydney strictly for vacation.

First of all, Wavers is in Sydney at all the 7-Elevens. That was the purpose of the trip.

That's very convenient.

We had a launch party. It was amazing.

That's just propaganda for you to be on the beach.

Amazing. If I can leverage our ship company in Sydney— we announced it months prior, but apparently we were acting like you didn't have fun.

We need— I know I did. I'm just saying, like, we were there a week, which when we travel, we don't try— we don't go anywhere for a week. Yeah, in the Philippines. I'm just saying. Okay, I don't want to argue. I just—

we had to be there for a week because of the vlog. The vlog schedule made us be there for a week. Yeah, there's no way for you to get around this.

Anyways, 40% of the Earth's population lacks—

this is why he hasn't been talking, because he's been wanting to read this fucking stat.

40% of the Earth's population lacks basic toilets or safe sanitation. 40%.

Ilya's been on his phone since the moment Taylor stopped talking and he was ChatGPTing something and I kept kicking him because if you listen to this pod, you know how much I hate when people are on their phone and he kept—

that's what I'm trying to make this fucking interesting, bro.

We don't need facts, dude. This isn't like— we just make up facts here on this podcast. Yeah, you literally say whatever you want.

All right, 90% of Earth's population.

We've never been factually correct here. We don't But yeah, we don't spend time looking for vibes, I guess. Yeah, no, this is 100% vibes. We, we've 30% of the pod we spend yelling at Natalie for vacationing, and then the rest we'll throw in a shit story. Usually it's Natalie. Taylor took it, took it over today. And now the rest, we should be talking about like sex and stuff.

I'm surprised we haven't gotten to it yet, honestly.

Do you have anything to say about sex? Yeah, I have a lot to say about sex. What do you want to get into?

I mean, I can't get into it yet.

Oh, you want me to like flow into it?

Yeah, I'm not gonna be the one that starts it. That's just It's not my podcast. Damn, the new year is here, Dave.

Do you know what you need for the new year?

What?

Tickets.

Oh my God. Tickets to what?

Anything, brother. Think about it.

What about tickets to a concert?

Oh, you know the place, right? Yeah.

What about tickets to a sporting event?

Done.

What about a magician?

SeatGeek.

Opera?

SeatGeek.

What about a ticket to a Wing Fest? Chicken tenders?

SeatGeek doesn't have that one.

No, not that one.

No, no, no. SeatGeek probably does.

4 out of 5 is good.

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Wait, have we even talked about like the old— the vlog that we just posted?

We touched on it in the last episode, but we didn't talk about your boy because you weren't there. Okay, so now he's getting it. So here we are.

No, I also just— I didn't even think about that.

Nally was a virgin before she had sex with this guy.

I was a virgin, basically, with a lookalike Alex Lawrence, I should say.

Natalie's a thing for Alex Ernst this entire time, and now she found a guy that looks like him and she pounced at him. She— the, the, the opportunity that, that she had, she took it.

Yeah, well, you know, what was the nationality?

Swedish, brother. We were in Sweden. You were there?

I fucking know. I'm fucking— I'm American. I was in Sweden.

What? What? Bro, he was from there. You fucking—

I was super drunk. I have no idea. But he walked out. It's funny because you guys left like ahead of us, like you were 15 minutes ahead, you were already at the apartment, and I was with—

well, that's, that's how this whole thing happened, because of you. Oh really?

Yeah, yeah, because—

oh, what's the story? I don't know it.

Because I'm— we met him like we were walking from one club to another or something, and I don't even know how we met, but we met him outside, like, he's just like a random guy that was walking by, completely random. And my friends, my girlfriends that we were with, they were like— it was a whole thing of the night, the like Natalie needs to get laid tonight. That was like our joke mission or whatever. And then we saw this guy on the side of the street. We saw this gorgeous man.

Natalie's like, bingo. Alex and her friends look like, time to fuck.

No, no, no. And we saw him and he was standing there and they were talking to— his friend was talking to David. And my friends were like, that guy's really cute. Like, you should go talk to him. And I was like, you're so right.

Oh, so when I interacted with you guys on camera, that was also the first time you guys met?

The first time.

Oh, oh, so you guys like literally just kissed out of the blue?

Yeah, 100%.

Oh, I thought like, because I was talking to Zane and his girl that he met on, on the dating app.

Yeah, and then I was off in the corner just talking to the other guy.

Yeah, okay.

And then you came over and then you guys were like, kiss, and I was like, fuck yeah, let's kiss. Anyways, but then, so he got my number on that street corner and then I was like, okay, like I'm— I met this random man, I'm never, probably never gonna see him again, right? And then like 20 minutes later or whatever, he sends me a selfie of him and Ilya at like the burger spot.

Me, Natalie, and like the girls and Zane and Jason, we all went to the apartment.

We went to our friend's apartment.

And Ilya and Alex like side mission completely, like even the burger spot.

Like, I thought you guys went home.

A 15-minute walk away. And then they ran into Natalie's guy. Did he approach you guys and was like, I just kissed Natalie?

I think so. I don't— I actually don't remember. I was— I was— I drank a lot that night.

And then they brought— and then Ilya and Alex brought him to the house party. Yeah.

Oh yeah, I think I was I think I was like, we're actually going to see Natalie now, do you want to come?

Wow. And then that led to Natalie's sexcapade.

Okay, that's crazy. Don't describe it like that.

Well, that was— it was really fun.

You guys use a condom or no?

That's also just like, what is this, you guys? This is a no-edit pod. Can we just skip that? Next.

Okay, okay. So that's enough.

Cut. Raw dog.

Wait, so what was your reaction? Oh no, no, no, no, we're at this house party. Were you like shocked to see him? Well, I—

he sent me the selfie of him and Ilya, and then I was just like, oh my God, Oh, that's my best friend. Like, I didn't even know if you had interacted. And I was like, you guys should come. So I invited him and then he came over with Ilya.

I went to my room and, uh, one of our friends there that was letting Natalie— she like let Natalie use her— her— okay, Natalie's like, you guys, we gotta leave some, some things up for mystery. Yeah, okay. Natalie was having sex in this, in this girl's house. Wait, okay, I want— well, I'm not gonna—

all right, whatever.

That's crazy.

Yeah, but wow, but go, Nat. She called me, she called me and she's like, Natalie's having such a good time, look. And she walks into your room and she opens the door and it's you and this guy. I'm on FaceTime. Yeah. And it's you and this guy just laying on the bed like making out. You guys are fully clothed, but she just like came in like you guys were like, like, like it was an exhibit at the zoo. Yeah. And look at these primates. She's like, you're missing out. Um, and then yeah, and I got— and I was really pissed. I remember I called Ferris that night because I'm like— because I left early because I was like really drunk. I was like, I just got to get home. I'm dizzy.

Classic Dave.

But then Zane sent me so many videos and was like, dude, you're missing out. They got like a party limo. They got all these fucking things. And I called Ferris just screaming. I was like, I'm such a fucking idiot because I don't have— I don't have like the energy anymore that I did as like— like when I was like— when I was like— when I was like 19 and we would go out, I would stick it out to like the last man standing.

But I just don't believe that because on a like on a random Tuesday, You're up in bed till 4 AM. Like, you don't go to bed till 4.

But I want to be in my room. I don't want to be like out and about.

I know, but that's such a lame excuse.

I don't know.

Then you have like—

yeah, but when you're drunk, it's just like different. You also weren't drinking when you were 19, dude.

Yeah, okay, that's what it was. Like, when I was— when I— when we were making 3 videos a week, like, I remember like very specifically, like, people would be like— we'd be at Saddle Ranch and somebody would be like, why aren't you filming? I'm like, oh, I don't think— I don't film around till like 3 or 4 AM. Like, it's like things don't happen till like we leave Saddle.

Yeah.

Um, and like, it was like literally where I would just like hang out sober the entire time.

That's so bizarre that you— yeah, you would hang out like—

but it was so normal. I mean, it's just like anybody that doesn't drink.

But that's like so fucking miserable though, like hanging around, especially like you hanging around with like heavy drinkers. Like everyone was—

yeah, but it was so fun. No, everyone was listening.

So entertaining.

There was just so much going on.

That was not miserable at all. It was like incredible because every night was like something. And LA was all so new to us, like every night was amazing. And then, and everybody would have— would want to like have more fun because there was a vlog. So like everybody wanted to like keep the party going to the next place or do something that was like exciting for the video.

Yeah.

And like it may just like— I don't know, that was like— I mean, I can talk about the prime days of, of LA nightlife like no other. I, I really do wonder if if LA nightlife is dead for everybody.

I just think we've aged out.

I think we've aged out too. Yeah, I don't think it is. I think there's new spots that we may not even know about, to be honest.

No, and like, they'd know.

I don't think so. They're like a decade older, you know? Yeah, fucking lot, brother.

Yeah, because like, because like the clubs we used to go to are still pretty same same, but it's literally, literally 16-year-olds. Yeah, like, I don't even— that's not me saying that there it's 20-year-olds at the club. I think they're literally like 16-year-olds. So, uh, yeah, the spots are different now, but I don't know. I don't know. I kind of— but everyone that's gotten older, like now, like the way that I talked to Natalie about this like a couple months ago, I was like, I feel like everybody that's like older that we used to go out with, like they don't just go out in LA anymore. Like now when they want to go out, they like go to fucking St. Barts or like they go to like Paris or they— Natalie just dribbled a piece of water right on her nipple. She's wearing a white t-shirt and the only spot I landed on was her nipple. I'm sorry, that was crazy.

Why are you looking at me?

Yeah, I'm just waiting for it to like soak in. Yeah, wait, did we already do 30% of sex on the pod? Or we should— we should—

I don't think we've covered it yet. No, I don't think we even touched the surface.

Um, okay, but then we came from Sydney to—

from Sweden to Sydney.

Uh, no, no, from LA to Sydney. Oh, LA to Sydney, by the way. Is, is the one flight— if anybody wants to take a flight with no jet lag, that is—

anyone wants a voluntary 15-hour flight?

No, it's the best flight. We left at 10 PM and we landed at 9 AM. You sleep on the flight and jet lag is completely eliminated. My sleep schedule is better in Australia than it's ever been in LA.

Yeah, it was pretty nice because I wake up at a—

in LA around noon to 2 PM, and that is the equivalent to 9 AM in Australia. So I've been waking up at 9 AM in Australia every day.

It was nice.

And then we flew over to the Philippines We landed in Manila. We were there for about 6, 7 hours. And then from there we came to Cebu. We came to Cebu. Now we are currently in the Philippines and it's kind of exceeding our expectations. No, would you say?

I love it.

So nice.

It's kind of like, um, it's kind of like Hawaii but humid.

It's like, I, I said like, it's like Hawaii but without like Americans everywhere. Like it feels very like you're very far away. But it still feels like Hawaii.

You're saying that it feels like we're in like an Adam Sandler movie where he does like—

Yeah, like the way— like Adam Sandler movies, the one thing they don't have, I feel like, is tourists. I feel like— I don't know, like when I imagine them, maybe they do, but like, but it's very like local driven. So like it feels very magical and like you're in a different place, like, oh, you're in Hawaii. And like, you know, it's not like you're staying at the Hilton there and like it's just all touristy people. But here it, it really feels like, oh man, I'm in a getaway, um, which is, which is really, really sick. Ilya's also here, by the way.

Yeah, they know. No, I've been on the podcast for 30 minutes now.

No, I know, but like, we should explain why you're here. We've tricked Ilya into coming. Yeah, I actually think it's a good idea.

Maybe we'll see.

Okay, so I— so let's unpack this because this is— I mean, this is the root of all our issues, right?

I don't know about all our issues, but—

well, I, I have strongly believed that— I don't even know where to start this conversation. So I told Ilya to come out here and to film like a Zilla vlog, right? Um, because I was like, I was like, I think, I think the docs are good and you could always do them simultaneously, but like, I think you should do like the thing you're best at is your personality. Like, I don't think, I don't think you're like some out-of-the-park, like, you, you're a home run trainer or you're a home run businessman. Like, I, like, and I don't, I don't mean this in a negative way. I don't mean this in a negative way. I just, I genuinely think, like, if, like, if you had statistics on all your things, like, I agree, like, your number one highlight is your personality. It is so incredible.

Pretty crazy. Like, your personality is like 12 out of 10.

12 out of 10. Like, it's— Natalie fucking hates you.

I know, it's actually crazy, but I have to love you because I fucking love you.

And then there'll be days we'll hang out and she'll be like, I can't believe I like him, because you really are— you are so much fun. And it's like— and you don't play at that at all. And it's like frustrated me so much, like, because I think like— I don't know, I, I don't know, this is like the second time I've like found somebody or like been friends with somebody that's like, that's like acting on something like not their strength. Like I just feel like Ilya— so, so I sent you this TikTok the other day. Did you watch it? It was, uh, hustle culture. What was it?

Um, is like overrated.

Yeah, it was like, it was like the idea of hustle culture being overrated and like how it doesn't actually get you anywhere. And I feel like Ilya is like big on hustle culture. Like he really does love working. Yeah, and he like prides himself in his work, which is like kudos to him. Like, he's got incredible work ethic, but I think he can get things done 10 times easier if he just like played to his strengths. And that's why I'm like, instead of making the Zealot docs where I don't even see much of Ilya— like, I watched Alex's doc, I really liked it, it was great— but like, I didn't see any of— like, I didn't see— like, Ilya's so fucking fun that I wish I saw more of Ilya. So I was like, why don't you try— why don't you try like vlogging Like, why don't you come out here to vlog this trip with John, train him, show how the Zilla app works, and like, and do something more like natural, like that, that like is like more so accustomed or like similar to your personality. So that's what he's trying now. How do you think it's going?

Uh, well, I, uh, I traveled here alone, right?

Like, which is tough. Yeah, it's impossible to film alone.

Really, really tough. But, you know, I shot a lot.

But do you, do you not, and do you not see how like it could benefit you?

Like, I, I totally see it. I, I just think that I need someone to be filming me rather than me filming myself.

Yeah, yeah. Well, I think the only problem was that, yeah, that you traveled here alone.

No, I, I love that. We actually wanted to do that more for, um, for our socials, for Zillow socials, um, where we like, you know cut up the documentary footage and post it prior to posting the full— Yeah, like post it prior to posting the full.

Like, you know, like my big debate with Ilya all the time is like, I'm always trying to hang out with him more, but like I'm like saying like we have like these trips planned, like we're maybe gonna do— I wanna do like a big vlog around Cape Town, a big vlog around Rio de Janeiro, a big vlog around Hong Kong. And I'm like, why don't you come at the same time and we're filming two videos simultaneously and like you're filming something for the Zeala channel, I'm filming something for the vlog, and then I, I'm glad that you're there because I have someone to go out with and like have fun, and then you can get all the workout stuff done. And that, that means it just gets us to shoot more because we have like more of a purpose when we're at a place. So like hopefully you guys support his Zeala vlog when it comes out.

Yeah, I'd also love to know like—

because that means he'll come out more.

Because I'd also like to know feedback like genuine raw feedback of like what people want to see.

Yeah, you know, and I also, I told him, I'm like, that doesn't mean like don't do the docs. I'm just saying like, like do the— like you, he already has like a system where he— well, you've got like how many people that you're working on a doc for?

Um, this year we want to release 8.

8. So it's like they're already in motion with like, you know, he's got like trainers that he trains with and like filmers that are filming these people, like he's kind of plugged in. He kind of plugs himself into it a little less and a little more like strategically. So there is more time to do more fun stuff. I don't know.

Yeah, I mean, listen, I'm excited to see how it turns out. I don't know.

Okay, we'll see. Guys, please, for the love of God, support it. Um, there was a—

should be out now, right?

Huh?

It should be out by the time this podcast is out. Or when are you releasing this podcast?

No.

This releases in 20 minutes. All right. Yeah.

Okay, well, anyways, the New Zealand vlog is launching on the same day as your vlog?

Hopefully. Hopefully we get a vlog done.

Okay.

I don't know, now he's been visiting the beach too long.

Okay, well anyways, can I kill you? Whenever David's vlog is out, that's when.

Yes. Yeah, the next vlog that comes out will be paired with Ilya's, um, video. On our, on our flight over here, we were going from, um, I don't know where we were coming from, but I had this crazy dream that was I was laying down, and I had this dream that there was a missile coming at us, and it was so fucking realistic because I knew I was— I was on a flight because I was on a flight, and I— and the only way I could avoid the missile was if I just like— not avoid it, but I was just like trying to get myself to fall asleep in my dream. It was so crazy. I've never had a dream like this because like time and place were the same as reality, but my situation wasn't, and I was trying to make myself fall asleep to avoid this missile. Wow.

Yeah. Is that called lucid dreaming?

Is that what that is? No, I don't think so. Not really. No, because I didn't have that control. And then I woke up. I literally like, I fucking jumped. You know, that kind of a story of what I just told, if someone else told that, I'd be like, I don't care. You ever feel like that?

Yeah, but we're in a podcast where you like have to care. No, no, it's just like people do care regardless of what story you're—

No, because I will say like if I said this story to like Natalie at lunch, or like you at lunch, you'd— but you'd honestly fuck with it.

You'd like fuck with it.

You'd like ask me a question about it.

No, I wouldn't. I genuinely— I don't give a fuck. Really? Yeah.

Okay.

I think you never even tell that story, first off, in the first place, you know?

Yeah, I would.

Yeah, I would.

No, you wouldn't, dude, because I was— yeah, because I wanted to share it, but I was like, I should just keep my mouth shut because I—

you wanted to share your story about your dream, how a missile was coming at you and then you had to fall asleep?

It was really scary. It was really scary. There's no way you would have told that story, and I would have described I remembered it better because it just happened. I was like ready to tell Natalie right when it— when we got off the flight, but I was like, I should save it for the pod.

I don't believe that.

Okay, well let me just— Nat, if I brought it to you up at lunch, you'd like entertain it, right? Well, yeah. That's crazy.

You would entertain it? You would ask questions about his dream?

Well, I like to understand the deeper meaning because then I understand what kind of mood he's in and like what he's going through that day.

Like, that's so cool. Like, if Natalie told me that, like I like talking to Natalie. I love hanging out with her, but I couldn't care less. But Natalie's so good at like—

I like to conversate.

Yeah. Okay. I guess that's the difference. But you think you also would just fucking throw that story straight into the trash?

I would be so confused as to why you're telling me in the first place.

Genuinely. Okay. That's— I guess that's our guy relationship, right?

Yeah. I mean, cool, dude. You know, you had a dream.

I'd act like it was interesting regardless.

Yeah, Taylor, you'd be into it. I could always count on you. Yeah.

Can I peel your skin off?

No, no, no. I can tell you've been staring at my skin.

It's just that part. It's like flaking.

We're at 35. You think we're good?

It's better to not peel. Um, no.

How long do we need?

We do 3-hour podcasts now.

I wonder what Jason's doing.

Yeah, what is Jason doing?

Having sex with his wife.

You think he just does that?

For sure.

Yeah, like all the time.

Really?

Yeah, I think they're like super sexually active.

Can you explain that to me?

I mean, I myself don't understand it, but I know that it's happening.

So Naveen's like— and Naveen is thinking about Jason when they're having sex? I would assume she just has a very powerful imagination.

No, I think she—

it's just like young Arnold Schwarzenegger that she's having sex with.

No, no, I don't think— I think she's like, there's something in there programmed to be attracted to Jason.

Like something— dude, it's really funny to talk shit about someone who is the co-host of the podcast when they're not in the room and you're on the podcast.

And that they're also editing.

I hope this makes it in. That's how you know Jason has a good sense of humor, if it makes it in. You can chime in here right now if you want, even just cell phone audio. Um, yeah, no, that is kind of crazy. What do you think it is? Because, okay, because I do think that women are wired differently. Oh, I just think, I think that like we see Jason and we see like his toenails and like, you know, yeah, we see like the hair curling, we see like, we see the weird stains on places they shouldn't even be stained.

Yeah, and I just think that she is looking deeper. She's not looking superficially, you know.

That's what I'm saying. But girls can have sex with guys strictly because of their personality.

Yeah, there's like an emotional attraction.

At least shaking his head and like his eyes are expanding.

That's crazy.

You think it's crazy? I get it, but guys can do the same thing.

Yeah, yeah, guys will literally have sex with anything. What are you talking about?

Oh, that is very interesting.

Wait, what do you mean? What do you mean have sex with anything?

Like, okay, do I need to— I need to elaborate?

Yes. Like any type of woman you're saying, or like—

yeah, not a fucking—

what? Wait, I'm interested where this conversation is going. What are you saying?

Yes, a woman, you're saying, or a man?

I'm agreeing with both of you, actually. I'm right in the middle of each of you.

Okay, so you're saying that, uh, a guy—

like a guy, if a guy is horny enough, they will just be like, okay, what woman at this bar is going to be interested? Let's fucking go.

Oh yeah, okay, okay. Yeah, because I've seen it. Yeah, I've seen a lot of memes where it's like I'm taking a this 2 out of 10 home when I'm really fucked up. Yeah, I've never done that before, by the way.

For sure.

Of course not.

Okay, I actually haven't. I actually haven't.

I don't think I've done that either.

I actually—

I don't know.

These are the holiest of men.

We're not the holiest.

No, no, it's just like, you know, right?

So what's your stance, David? You're disagreeing with the both of us.

Uh, what were you saying? Let me disagree with it. What was it?

I was saying that, um, like, a man will fuck anything and a girl can, you know, I mean, I think it goes both ways. I think there are a lot of women—

yeah, but one has to go more than the other.

I think, I think it's much more difficult for a woman to just go sleep with a random man as opposed to a man just going to sleep with a random woman, attractive level, whatever it is.

I think this is also one of those questions that depends on who you ask. Like, if you ask a woman who cheats more, men or women, they tend to say men, right? Taylor, who cheats more, men or women?

I think I think it's just, you know, dependent on the person.

All right. Well, Tay's one of the boys, so she's got us. Tastes like women. Men. Women are cheaters. Now he thinks men. I don't know. I—

yeah, I just think men are like more likely to act on it because like your primal instinct is like, must fuck.

But then I feel like girls are more—

that's not— oh yeah, girls like— well, yeah, like I think guys have a—

I think, I think girls are more like emotional cheaters and men are just cheaters.

No, that's like— that's actually a good question. Do guys— is guys' code stronger than a girl's code?

I think it's—

yeah, I think 1,000%. Guys, a guy's code is stronger than a girl's code. I will— I will die on this hill.

You're saying like our girlfriends would rat us out if we cheated?

Uh, what? No, I think a girl— I think a girl will go behind your— this is a very extreme situation. But we'll go behind your back and fuck your ex-boyfriend.

It's so crazy you have this perspective because it's like usually someone that has this perspective, it's happened to them.

Has been fucked over. Yeah.

You've never had that happen to you.

No, no, exactly. I know, I know.

But I think that's more likely with—

I don't like to— I also don't like to speak on things because I'm fucked over on things. I don't like to change my viewpoints just because something happens to me. I think it's unfair, which is a little pathetic too, because I've had the same viewpoint since high school. But like, I'm very like—

if, yeah, if something's happened to you, how would you not change your viewpoint on it?

Well, I just think it's unfair. Like, like, I've like, like, I've always— like, my perspective of money is like an example. Like, since I was a kid, I've always like envied and glorified people that have money. And like, I don't know how to explain it. Nothing's changed. Since I've grown— like, I, I, like, I don't know, my, like, instincts as being younger, like, I just don't think it's fair for them. I don't know, I don't know.

Yeah, you haven't grown up, you're saying?

Yeah, yeah, I'm an idiot. Wait, wait, sorry, can we— we got sidetracked here. Can we go— wait, what are you saying?

You said the guy code is stronger than girl code.

Yeah, you don't agree with that? Um, I think, I think guys are so much more And this is obviously going to be divisive.

I don't actually agree totally. What?

Yeah.

Oh, I think, I think men can be super shady.

Yeah, I agree. Really? I agree. I mean, I agree. I can see it going both ways, honestly.

Yeah.

Oh, okay.

Yeah, I guess it's not that divisive. I guess you guys are all pretty neutral.

I mean, it really just depends on like—

I mean, like it's different because you and Ilya's bro code is way different than some other two guys' bro code.

I think— okay. I think that's right, but I don't know. I just like think of like guys and I think of war and I think of guys in war and like I think a guy can fuck a guy.

I mean, I think a guy can fuck over another guy pretty easily, honestly. Really? Yeah, people are shitty, bro. I just— girls are shitty, guys are shitty.

Okay, sorry, that's an extreme situation of like fucking another dude's girlfriend, but like I'm saying like more like on like a minuscule level of like just talking shit behind each other's back. I just feel like That just feels—

oh, that's definitely more girl. Actually, I don't know. I've like— I feel like girls take the heat for that, but like, I feel like guys do that just as much.

I don't know.

Like, actually, I don't know.

Maybe you're right.

Like, I don't—

guys just don't gossip, I feel like, as much.

Like, I talk shit about Ilya all day, but it's not like the real kind that girls do.

Yeah, yeah.

Like, like, girls, when they talk shit, it's like, like, they're gonna be fake to their face. Like, to Ilya, I would love to say everything I've said to him. I wish I could record the things I say behind his back. All right, sure. Um, have you guys seen this podcast on It's called The Sandbox Sessions. And they do like really, like satirical takes on things.

Is it appropriate for a grown man to count down for the ball drop?

I don't know if it's ever appropriate to count down anything. You know, you saying 5, 4, 3, 2, 1.

Are you iCarly?

Are you sad that you're in that moment of time that you have to count down to another moment of time?

Mm-hmm.

I mean, I just feel like as a grown man, you just gotta stay where you are.

It shows a lack of purpose, a lack of initiative, because more times than not they have resolutions saying, oh yeah, I'm gonna start working out today, I'm gonna start eating healthy today, I'm gonna start getting good grades. And it's like, at what point do you just do it on your own?

Yeah, you could have been doing it, right?

Why are you having a calendar determine when you start fixing your life? Like, and counting down to anything, that lets me know you're not prepared for the moment. Yeah. Bro, these guys are really fucking good.

Have you seen the turn signal one? What? Have you seen the turn signal?

Oh, play it, play it, play it, play it, play it. These things are really fucking funny. It's so fucking good. I love the grown man ones.

I feel like this is like if you're a man sort of thing. I don't know if I'm relating.

Oh, really? I could see a girl not getting it.

They had a good question on their pod. They're saying you're at a New Year's party, but LeBron James shows up. 2 hours after the ball drops, do you set the clocks back for LeBron to have another Happy New Year? That's really—

because like men love LeBron.

Yeah, I mean, it's just like a celebrity walking in. Like, do you set the clocks back for him? Would you? Yeah. Are you— are you— are you showing her something? Oh, here it is.

I'm just trying to get your perspective. Is it appropriate as a grown man to use your blinker to tell people you're going left, right, up, back, you know, wherever you're going.

I don't—

if you know what a blinker really means, like, okay, I'm about to turn left, I want you to turn left with me. Now you let people know your next move, because at that point people gonna copy, they're gonna follow you. I don't even put my headlights on, no blinker, no headlights. I just move because at that point, bro, you can't see what I'm thinking, you can't know where I'm going, and in JC, the Creek, bro, you don't know who's following you, bro. You don't know what's gonna happen next. Because imagine I put my blinker on, I'm turning left to McDonald's, boom, I could turn around, I can see 3 goons behind me going to McDonald's too. Yeah, now I'm stuck. Now I'm at a look. If anything, you should be doing the opposite blinker where so you people don't know what you're doing. That's what I was thinking too. I'm not, you know, worried about another man's work to put some electrical engineering into a vehicle to make it so that I'm comfortable.

Exactly.

And I personally, I'm just not with that. I started doing this thing, bro, like if I am gonna turn my blinker on, I'll turn on my hazard lights so they both on. So now you're gonna know I'm gonna turn, but you gotta guess which way I'm going. It's so good.

Okay, I mean, that's incredible. That's funny. That's incredible. That's like one of the freshest things I've ever seen.

Yeah, that's really good humor.

How is that fucking— like, are they writing this? Like I was like, do they really just riff off that like 5 in a row? Goddamn, that is so funny. If that's like one of the fun— that's like one of the funniest podcast things I've ever seen. Also, somebody said— this is, this is a different podcast, or this was just like a TikTok I saw— but someone said, dude, I've been having this thought a lot, and I think it's because of social media. Someone said, is it just me, or is anyone else weirded out about the fact that we're just supposed to relive all the months and all the holidays just over and over again in a loop. Have you been thinking about that? I've referenced that when we like do like— when we do our yearly activities, it's like Vegas F1, Miami.

I mean, that is actually pretty crazy.

Yeah, it's like, it's—

that's all like technically like— it's very like linear.

It's just like non-stop. And the top comment on this is saying social media has made us all Social media has made all of us too aware of being alive. Someone said, hey, so I have panic attacks about this. Please stop. Um, no, that's really weird. I don't know, I don't know why I've been having that feeling too. I've been like, this is just like we're like in a circle, just like—

well, you want to repeat the things that you like to do, right? And that's why you do them again.

I, I don't know, kind of as simple as that, right?

Yeah, but it's like there's like no innovation.

That's not true.

It's not that it's No innovation. We sound like— dude, sometimes we say things on this pod where it's like, it just reminds me of those clips on TikTok where all the comments are like, these people should not have podcast equipment. That was— that take was— there's no innovation on the ears. They're all just 365, and it's just enough is enough. Someone has to put an end to it, or a start to it.

But it is kind of weird.

I agree. Yeah, enough. All right. All right guys, let's just end the pod there before things get— things go more sad. Innovate too much before we switch the shit up. Yeah, we don't want to switch this over for a 40-minute pod. That would scare people. Um, but guys, new pod on Thursday, also probably will be from the Philippines. And, um, thank you Ilya for joining us. Thanks Tay for joining us, our little poopy diaper. And, uh, Natalie, thanks for being here. Go get ready for Ilya's vlog. On the Zilla Fitness channel. Also, Ilya is giving away a Tesla. Mm-hmm.

Go say it. So if you guys are looking to start your New Year's resolution, Alex's 90-day challenge is live on the Zilla app.

This is probably the easiest way to win a Tesla.

No, genuinely, all you have to do is the workouts and follow the news.

Wait, when do you win the Tesla? At the end of the workouts or just for signing up?

Yeah, every day. No, um, if so, you The person who has the best results wins a Tesla, and that's after the 90 days.

Oh wow, that's kick-ass. So yeah, literally you'll get into shape and you'll get a car out of it. Okay, 90-day challenge.

Where's Zeela app, baby?

You just download Zeela? Yeah, X-E-E-L-A.

Yeah, X-E-E-L-A, App Store or Google Play.

I ran into these guys yesterday and I was going to like work out with you. I was like, dude, fuck Zeela. And they're like, hey man, let's be respectful. Really?

Yeah.

And I was like, oh, okay. You said it. Were you there? Do you remember that, Ferris?

You said that out loud.

I was so confused. Huh? You said that out loud. No, because they were filming. So I was just like making a joke that I had to go work out. Yeah. Then I felt bad for saying fuck Zilla. I was like, oh shit.

Okay. My crowd's behind me.

I was like, I didn't mean for it to come off real. That's funny. All right. I'll see you guys. Podcast over.