Murder in Jason's Family

What's up guys, welcome back to Views, the podcast where Jason just came back from taking Nicorette that he chews on out of the dog's mouth in our house.

You are the worst person in the world. You need so much reschooling. I don't know who went wrong in your life because you are a monster. You are a selfish fucking lousy, just no regard for anyone in this world but yourself. And your mother should be fucking embarrassed.

I say.

Your father. Is embarrassed. They walk around, they fucking hang their heads low 'cause you're a disgrace. And no matter how much fucking money you make, you'll never be a fucking decent human being. And I can't wait until you fucking burn in hell. And I'll be watching you from heaven. Me, Kristen, Scott, Todd, Zane, and Heath. And we'll go, where's David? Where's David? Oh right, he was a fucking cunt his whole life.

Are you done?

Yeah. I'm done.

Go fuck yourself.

Okay, I will.

Listen, I'm pissed because I was, I was just sitting there minding my own business. Guys, keep in mind this was literally 2 minutes ago before I hit record on the podcast, and I saw the dog chewing on Nicorette, which Jason leaves laying around the house.

It falls out of my pocket.

Nicorette wasn't—

it wasn't— it was an empty Nicorette, I'm sure.

No, there's gum in there. Nicorette is what— Nicorette is what smokers use to try to quit smoking. Yeah?

Go ahead.

Yeah.

Okay, great, great point, David.

It's also very not safe for dogs.

And what do you do? What do you do? You fucking cause friction between me and Kristen instead of just maybe taking the fucking Nicorette out of the mouth. David goes, "Hey Kristen, the dog's got one of Jason's Nicorettes." Like, you just stir the pot. Don't be an asshole. Just fucking take it out of the dog's mouth.

Maybe don't say anything.

Maybe do me a solid for once. The amount of times that I watch your fucking vlogs and the amount of times I fucking help you Listen, listen, listen.

You know what happened?

One little solid, dude.

You know what happened?

What?

The dog was chewing on the Nicorette, right? And it spit it out. And I'm like, hmm. And I waited a little bit. I waited like 7 seconds, and then it put it back in its mouth.

And I go, Kristen, why would you do that?

I just wanted to get you in trouble.

Why would you do that? You can't do me a solid one time? One little solid?

Oh shit, this is still the intro. Okay, all right, roll the intro music.

Unbelievable.

All right, and we're back. We're sorry, Jason and I got off on the wrong foot.

Oh, we got off on the right foot because I'm about to tell you a bunch of fucking shit that I hate about you. I am so sick and tired of your bullshit. You cost me and my family— I got him, guys, I got him pinned up against the fucking wall, and he's cute as a button, but I'll fucking bash him with this microphone. I have no problem.

Cost your family what?

700 $700,000, you cost me and my family $700,000, David!

Why is your hand on my crotch?

Because it's the only way you'll listen, 'cause you fucking get no loving from nobody. You're unlovable.

Okay, okay, let's break that down. What Jason is saying is we got an offer, offer for the podcast for a lot of money.

I can't even talk about it. It makes me so upset.

We got an offer for the podcast for a lot of money, and I turned it down because for that much money, for how much he was saying for the year. To videotape it. To videotape the podcast, and there's a little more.

Just do what we're already doing. There's a little— Just turn a camera on.

No, there's a little more comp— it would go on a specific person's app that I didn't want on it. And yeah, we would get paid money for it. And I turned it down because I thought it would be like selling out. And I thought it would be a very cheap move. And I really respect the podcast, unlike Jason. And I don't like to cut corners for some money.

I respect the podcast. It was the right move. Not even for the money. But you wouldn't listen to Ben the agent. You wouldn't listen to Jack the manager. And you wouldn't listen to me. We fucking tried so many fucking times.

Because I have a long-term goal.

To what, to fucking spend all your money on Elon Musk?

I wanna put your kids through college because I know you're not gonna do it.

You just missed the fucking chance to put them through college, you dumb shit.

Yeah, maybe through fucking USC, but I wanna put them through fucking Yale and Harvard. I wanna be able to—

It's over, it's gone.

No, it'll come back.

The window is now.

It'll come back, Jason.

No, it's not. No one's gonna pay us $700,000 to do this podcast.

I will. Holy shit, Bill Gates? What are you doing in our house?

How did Bill Gates get in here?

I don't know.

Hey, hey. He's a lot more attractive in person.

Hey man, I have this new Microsoft app and I wanna pay you guys $4 billion.

Bill Gates should sound so cool. You're doing cool, Bill Gates. All right, we'll do it for you.

I wanna do a—

Oh wait a minute, no, David's too good for it, never mind.

I'm not too good for it, I was looking out for us, we're a team.

Admit it was a mistake.

No, it wasn't.

You fucked up.

No, it wasn't.

You fucked up.

Oh, I know. Admit you fucked up. Oh, this is why Jason's mad. This is why, sorry, I should explain this. The original deal, Jason kind of agreed with me a little bit, and he was like, okay, yeah, maybe it's not the right time to do this move. Maybe we should grow out our podcast a little bit more. But this is where the catch is. The app shut down 2 days ago, like completely, which means if we would have signed the contract like a month ago, like we got the offer, there's a really good chance that we would have just had to been paid out for it in full. Without us even doing any of the podcast shows on their app. And that's where we may have messed up, because then we would have gotten the money for free, basically, without even having to do any podcasts or any work. And that's, that's where we messed up.

I would have just spent it on stupid shit for Wyatt and Charlie anyway.

More iPhone Xs. Yeah, Jason just bought his two kids— they're 11 and what, 8?

8.

Yeah, he got them both an iPhone X.

Yeah, because they're like learning on it, they're like making music on it, they're gonna be musicians.

Yeah, you're right. Yeah, Angry Birds is really helping him with mathematics and trajectory.

Guys, Charlie's mostly playing Animal Jam.

Yeah, before this, before this goes any further, we don't have an ad for today's show, which bums me out, but it opens up some time for us to talk about the live show that we have in Chicago. And guys, just come to the live show. It's gonna be a bunch of seats. We're selling it out. I mean, we're hoping we're selling it out. The tickets are selling.

They're selling fast.

All of our friends are basically coming. It's gonna be a lot of fun. I'm gonna have a good time, Jason's gonna have a good time. We just had a show in New York and in Boston.

That went very well.

And it went pretty solid. No complaints about the New York and Boston show.

We added some animals. David's putting snakes on people, put a snake on my mom in Boston.

Yeah, so come to the Chicago show and it'll be fun.

My mom called me today, she was pitching herself to be on the podcast.

Oh, she wants to be on the podcast?

Yeah, she was pitching herself to be on the podcast.

What did she say?

Run that idea by David, you know, maybe if you wanted to talk about divorce and you know how your father and I, we remain friends and how You and Manny have remained friends, and she was, she was pushing her way in a little bit.

She's so cute.

She's so cute. She's very nice to her.

She really wants to be on the podcast.

Yeah, of course.

Can you, can you go ahead and before we do anything else, can you tell me the story about your dad that you told me in the car? Oh, super nonchalantly. Guys, this is, this is fucking insane. And he just told me, this is right after we met his dad, he just told me the story in the car, like, as we're going to the airport, like it's not a big deal. Okay, go.

Oh yeah, so when I was a kid, when I was like 2 years old, but they had my sister, my mom and dad, and my parents were rich.

Yeah, your parents used to be rich.

My dad started a furniture store and he had this concept which is now very popular now in Boston, but basically it was like Saturday night at a furniture store. So you would like go on a date to a furniture store, have drinks, walk around.

What?

Meet people. Yeah, they had a movie theater and it was this whole concept where people would socialize at a giant furniture store.

Jesus Christ, I've never heard of that.

And it actually took off. If you go to Boston, there's a place called Jordan's Furniture where you can go. There's an IMAX theater, there's zip lining.

That's the furniture store?

Yeah, it's just this weird thing. And people go play hide and go seek, adult hide and go seek through the furniture store. And they like encourage it. It's just a weird thing.

That's amazing.

So my dad had that concept, or maybe his friend. He was partners with somebody.

Yeah.

And long story short, they borrowed money from the wrong people.

Okay.

You know, they borrowed money from people that were connected through the mob.

That's amazing. And, um, this is like movie shit.

Movie shit. And then eventually—

so your dad and your partner, right? Yeah, these were the two that started the, the furniture store.

Yeah, my dad was like the business end and the partner was more of the, the face.

Yeah.

Of the thing. And then long story short, that his partner decided to not pay the mob back, which is a big no-no, right? Which was eventually— I guess they had paid everything, but they felt that they didn't need to pay anymore.

Has he not seen any movie ever?

Yeah, right.

Or maybe movies weren't around back then, so— right, well, yeah, Goodfellas wasn't made yet, but, uh, all the movies were made after this situation that Jason's about to tell you. Okay, go.

Yeah, and then they came in the middle of the night and they shot my dad's partner in the face. Why are you laughing?

Because you told me this on our Uber ride back to the airport, like, so casually.

I know.

This is— guys, we— he told me the story and my, my chin was just like hitting my knees. And I got straight into the airport and the rest of our friends were there. And I just go, did you know that Jason's dad's partner was shot in the face? I just wanted to tell the story to the world because I couldn't fucking believe it.

You love getting reactions from people.

Yes, I love it. And I think it's a brute— I think that's brutal. Okay, and then what happened? What did your dad have to do?

And then, you know, my dad, you know, was questioned by the police. And then we had armed guards in our house, living in our house for a long time. Eventually he lost all his money. We were broke. My dad could never work again.

And why could he never work again?

I mean, I don't know. No one, no one would hire him or work in that space because his name was tainted because he was part of this murder.

Oh, and it was like a big thing?

Yeah. And then that was it. He didn't— he never went to jail. He was never charged.

What's your dad's name? Uh, Al Capone.

Yeah, El Chapo.

That's brutal.

Yeah. And then that, and then that really— and then, yeah, we were just broke my entire life and And then, you know, my mom started working and my parents got divorced. I'm sure that caused a lot of problems.

That's how it should have been though. You wouldn't be any fun if you were born rich.

I mean, I know a lot of people who are rich who are really funny.

No, I believe—

Nick Kroll is super funny.

But like one of your best qualities is that you were born broke and you stayed broke for 20, 30+ years.

I guess so. I mean, that's a place to draw comedy from, but I know a lot of funny rich people. No, I— Chris D'Elia is rich.

I mean, everybody, everybody that's really funny is now rich.

No, but I mean, they grew up rich.

Yeah, yeah. Oh, he was once rich?

Yeah, I think his dad was really rich and I know Nick Kroll's dad like really successful, and Nick Kroll's really funny.

Yeah, I mean, that, that's amazing. And then your dad had to hide out.

Yeah.

Are we allowed to, are we allowed to share this story with you?

I guess so. I mean, he's living his life. I think it's over now.

What's your dad's name? No, I'm just kidding.

I'll, I'll exit out. My dad loved meeting you.

Yeah, yeah.

David was interviewing my mom.

Wait, does your dad like me?

Oh yeah, yeah, he loved you.

Yeah, but did you talk to him after?

Yeah, I talked to him after.

Yeah, what do you say?

Great.

What'd he say?

He just said—

he's like, this is my favorite part, dude. When I met— when I met Liza's parents, like, fucking non-stop, I was just— I was sitting there, I, I was just sitting at her house, we're watching a movie. I'm like, no, come on, really? What did he say? And then she'd be like, he, he liked you, he thought you were really cool. And I'm like, no, no, tell me exactly how he said it, like word for word. Like, how did he— did he— was he serious?

Yeah, he just said, he says, you're so smart, smart, and smart as a whip, smarter than real people 4 times his age, you know.

That's what he said?

Yeah, yeah.

Oh, I love hearing stuff like that.

He's got a, you know, he's got the comedy mind, he's got the business mind.

What do you say about my dick? What?

What?

Nothing.

What do you mean?

No, nothing. I didn't mess around with him in the bathroom.

What did you say?

I didn't mess around with him in the bathroom. I didn't say anything. I said, what did he say about— what did he say about my pick for March Madness? I'm having a basketball draft.

He's not up to that again, is he?

No, no, no, no, not up to what?

I thought that was over.

What was over?

Yeah, whatever happened in the bathroom.

Nothing, dude. He came in, he came in, he needed some mints, and I put my cock in his mouth. Um, okay, enough of that because your dad will actually kick my ass.

Yeah, he's pretty tough.

He's a fucking scary.

And then you think so?

Yeah. Oh, that's scary.

He's like, I told you that, and then you said, you said he's not scary.

And it's all right. He's like, respect the guy. He's like, you have to respect him. You can't be a douche to him because he's like, oh yeah, he's tall. Yeah, he's like, he's very respectable.

But then you said in the car, you said he's nothing like you, you described him.

Because, well, can I say how you described him?

How did I describe him?

You described him as like, ah, he's a real dick.

No, I didn't.

Yeah, you did.

I did not.

You were like, he's a real hard-ass.

Did I say that?

Yeah, you did. And I expected just like this guy who—

he was a hard-ass growing up.

I didn't— I didn't—

no, I said he's really fun. Yeah, my dad is a great guy. He was always the guy that I would run into other people like, oh, your father's the best. And I'd be like, really? Yeah, because it hasn't been that much fun for me.

Because— okay, I'll be honest with you, this may hurt your ears, because I think he was a cool dude and you're a pussy, so you got picked on. I think—

yeah, but that's his job to fucking make sure I don't get picked on.

You're right, but I think the relationship you had with your dad is like what, like, a popular kid in high school has with, like, you know, like a, like a, you know, nerd. Like a cliché relationship.

So he was, he was just bored by me. Yeah, fuck, I gotta deal with this.

He was like, why can't you be cool?

I remember one time when I was a kid, I got socked in the eye. Yeah, on the bus. Uh-huh. And I came home and I just, like, black eye. I was already such a It was an awful day. I just didn't want to deal with it anymore. My father was like, we're going over there right now and you're gonna fucking fight him. And I was like, what? I was like, are you kidding? And he was this— like, they had this thing in my town called METCO, which is they would— they bust like a lot of like urban kids into the white neighborhood.

Yeah.

And, and this, this, this kid was—

your dad showed up at his house, Eggleston, man, shot him in the face.

No, John, middle of the night. John Eggleston was— you'd not fuck with John Eggleston. I mean, he was like from the fucking street.

And what did you tell your dad when he said, let's go kick this guy?

I was like, I'm just gonna get my ass kicked by this guy.

Yeah.

He's like, no, we're going over there. We're gonna fight him right now. We're going. And, uh, and my mother just fucking begged him. And, and then he took me over there.

I got my ass kicked because your dad beat your ass because you wouldn't fight.

No, he brought me over there. I got my ass kicked again.

Oh, shut the fuck up. You actually fought the guy?

No, he never brought me. That would have been funny though.

You get your ass kicked, he goes over to the kid, he's like, hey, you be a good son.

What are you doing later?

Not like my pussy boy over here.

My dad tormented me. I used to fucking— I would be in baseball. I was like pretty good at baseball.

Okay, don't push it.

No, I was. I was fucking good. And then— but the day—

everyone's good in the third grade.

The days he would come, I would fucking be awful because he would stand behind the cage.

You had— yeah, I had that with my parents.

Fucking make me nervous.

Yeah.

And then— and then that was awful. What else did he fucking do?

And then would he yell at you when he came? Like coming back for like from the game, would he give you shit for sucking?

Yeah, yeah, give me so much shit for sucking. Like, what were you doing? You took it— kept saying, uh, you pulled your head out, you pulled your head out. It's like, fuck you, I'm not a fucking great athlete, okay? Because he was like a really good athlete.

So I just can't believe you didn't like that, huh? You're a lot like your son is now.

What, a pussy?

I'm sorry.

Oh, you're gonna raise pussies, don't you worry.

You think?

Oh yeah, really? Yeah, you and Liza, you'll raise fucking Blue Ivy. There'll be fucking servants all around the kid. Trust me.

You think I'll raise pussies?

Oh yeah. Why?

Why is that?

Because you're soft as a fucking twinkie.

You think I'm soft?

You're soft.

Just because I'm emotional doesn't mean I'm a bitch.

Yeah, well, those two sentences don't go together, David. Just because I'm emo— please guys, please guys tweet this tomorrow. Just because I'm emotional doesn't mean I'm a bitch. David Dobrik 2017. I will retweet it, the first person to tweet that.

Just because I cry midway through 50 First Dates does not mean I'm a bitch. No, no, no, explain, explain to me how you think, explain to me how you think that I'm, that I'm gonna raise a bunch of pussies.

Because you're so, you're soft.

Like, oh, and by the way, what? I never said that your son was a pussy. You were the one that said it first. Huh? You were the one who said my son was a pussy.

You said my son, me and my son are pussies. Me and Wyatt.

Oh, I said, I said you and your son are similar, and you go, oh, pussies.

That's what you were gonna say.

No, you You inferred that you were like, oh well, my son's a pussy, so I must be a pussy.

Wait till their fucking 3 nannies are raising you and Liza's kids, and we'll see how tough you are.

I'm gonna be there for my kids, Jason.

Oh yeah, right. You can't even fucking pull Nicorette out of the dog's mouth. You are the least parental thing I've ever seen in my life. You fucking look at your little brothers and sisters, you fucking roll your eyes.

You don't think I'm gonna be a good parent?

You won't even go to Toby's soccer games, you fucking dirty slow act.

Because I didn't want to put pressure on him, him like your dad did.

Yeah, right.

Yeah, well, you don't think I'm gonna be a good parent when I'm older?

No.

Take it back right now. You know what?

I know you won't.

I'm gonna give you a chance right now to step back from your little douche character that you're playing right now.

Happy to. Okay, I'll step back.

I'll go ahead and answer honestly.

Good— a good parent?

Yeah.

What, what have you shown so far in your life in terms of caring for others that would allow me to believe that you're gonna be a good parent?

What?

Tell me one moment. Okay, tell me one moment.

Your kids had dinner last night.

Yeah.

You're welcome.

Marnie paid for their dinner last night. She's got a great job, and we did just fine until you put—

You know who's cutting the checks for Marnie?

Who?

Me.

Oh, really? Yeah. You're paying for the TV show SWAT on CBS? You're funding that?

Surprise, motherfucker. I got my hand in a bunch of fucking jars.

Really? You and Les Moonves? Yeah. And Shemar Moore?

Yep. Shemar Moore is one of my, one of my best closest friend.

Who's Shemar Moore?

And what's he star on?

SWAT.

Yeah, that's right.

Yeah.

Okay, cool. We just plugged Marnie's show.

Check that off the list.

CBS, Thursdays at 10.

No, but to be honest, I'll be an okay dad, right?

I mean, I don't— jury's out. I mean, look, you're obviously will like calm down at some point, but if you had a baby right now—

yes, obviously. I can't have another kid for 5 years.

Ears.

Oh, like I'm too young.

I hate when you pull the I'm too young card, like you don't fuck it, like you can make mistakes and I'm not allowed to. You do that all the time, and you do it to poor Todd. You do it to poor Todd. Poor Todd, our good-looking friend Todd who lives in there, he likes to go out once in a while and have some beers. And Dave's like, he's 26, what's he doing? That's what you do when you're 26, you go out. And when you look like Todd, it's your fucking job to go out.

I've never looked like Todd, so I can't put myself in his So maybe you're right.

Yeah, so don't throw stones at Todd. Stop pulling that young card.

I'm not pulling the young card. I just said I'm not ready for kids yet.

What do you— where do you think you're carrying? Like, what makes you think you have any kind of dad? What kind of dad was your dad? Was he loving?

Yeah, he was cool.

Was he loving?

Yeah, yeah, he was okay.

Was he or wasn't he? Yeah, yeah. Oh, so he wasn't?

No, no, he was good. No, my dad was cool. My mom was cool.

Are you just saying that because they're listening?

Yeah. No, no, everything was okay. Um, I love you, Mom and Dad.

The minute my father was gone, the better things were for me. Really? Oh yeah.

See, that's what you said before I met him, and then I met him and I knew for— I literally, from the first second I met him, I'm like, oh my God, Jason was a pussy when he was younger. That's why he didn't get along with him, because you know what you're I wish it wasn't true. You know what, you know what your dad was? Your dad was, son, let's go out and play some catch.

Yeah.

And you heard— you were the guy who liked to— who liked to draw. That's, that's who you are. Which, there's nothing wrong with it.

No, I went out and played catch. He fucking threw the ball at 100 miles an hour in my head.

There's nothing wrong about being the guy who draws, but it's just weird when he— when he's mixed with your dad because your dad is just like fucking Dude, I mean, you guys gotta see this guy. He's just like out of like a movie. Like, like he—

like Robert De Niro.

He reminds me of John F. Kennedy.

Yeah, he looks like John F. Kennedy.

Yeah, like just like when he gets older, he's still gonna be— even though he's old, he's still like good-looking.

Yeah, he's 70 and he looks great.

Yeah, yeah, it's weird.

He doesn't work. He has no stress.

Okay. Yeah, don't throw him under the fucking bus.

I mean, he doesn't work. I mean, he works a few months out of the year. He does— oh, look at me, he likes to take it easy.

I work harder than my dad. My name is Jason Nash.

No, my dad's true.

My dad was a dick to me when I was younger, so I'm not— I'm taking it back on it.

No, I wish my father would fucking attack something the way I attack things or the way you attack things. Like I said to him, I said, oh, if you want to try to start some business or something, I would love to. But I want him to fucking come up with some ideas.

And what did he say to that?

He said, yeah, yeah, let's do it, let's do it. But then I fucking—

He's like, yeah, yeah, great idea. I'm just going to go borrow some money from the mob real quick and we get started.

David gets a knock at the door, 2:00 AM. Um, yeah, they— yeah, there's an article. My mom has the Boston Magazine at home. I tried to look it up online, and I'll bring the— I'll bring— when I go home, I'll bring the magazine and we can read it. It's really deep.

Oh, about your dad and about the shooting and everything?

Hey, what about all these sexual, uh, harassment things, huh? What do you think about that, David?

I mean, I think they're shitty.

I think the most interesting thing about that is that it was like all going on and no one ever said anything? It never— why is it reaching the point now? You know what I mean?

I don't know. I can't answer that because I've never been in a situation where I've had to bottle something up like that.

I'm talking about— no, these were known things. Harvey Weinstein did this. Everybody knew that.

Yes, they're known things, but like—

but what's shifted in the culture?

If there's just— it's just word gets around easier.

The internet.

So it's the internet. It's, it's, it's like a woman— a woman can't be sexually assaulted and she tells 4 people and they shut it down because they're friends of Harvey Weinstein. Now a woman sends out a tweet and there's no way to shut it down. It's just like, you know, fucking spread like wildfire right away. But the only thing that's kind of scary to me about these accusations is that, is that they're just accusations, right?

Right.

And like, the people that— like, I'm not, I'm not being like, oh, Harvey Weinstein's innocent or anything like that.

Sure.

But like, like, there's some people that are being accused that are, that are completely denying it. And you know, there's a really good chance that it's complete bullshit and they actually did it, but there's also a small chance that they're literally just being accused to be accused and their career is already ruined. Do you know?

So far I don't think there's anybody like that.

You don't?

No, cuz Louis admitted to all of it, you know.

But there's been like 15 people accused, so you don't know which one. Did you see—

like, yeah, James Toback, Oliver Stone there. Okay, so there's all those guys did it.

There's this whole sex scandal and 15 people were accused of it. And there was like a— we were in New York and one of the headlines on a newspaper read Perv Nation or something, and it showed all 15 of their faces on the front of it.

Like, literally, like, Louis, Harvey Weinstein, all of them. Oh really?

Like straight up, like out of like a movie that where like someone goes into the future. Yeah. And sees like a newspaper and it says Perv Nation and it's these people that you would adore. It's fucking crazy.

The Louis thing is so so crazy because he was such a media darling.

Louis thing is bizarre.

He was a media darling. Everyone loved him.

Louis C.K. is like one of the favorite comedians of a lot of people. He was my favorite comedian.

Yeah.

And he'll be back. Yeah, okay, well—

I think he'll be back.

You think he'll be back?

I do. I do.

So Louis C.K. was caught, not caught, but he was allegedly, I mean, a bunch of women came out and said that he masturbated in front of them.

Right.

And you're telling me you knew this before.

I went to the Aspen Comedy Festival in 2003. Marty and I went. My partners and I had a comedy show, okay, that we performed 4 times there. It's like a sketch show.

Yeah.

And, uh, so Aspen's really fun. It's like fancy, fancy, big, big comedians mixed with like lower-level comedians like me. Like, literally, like, I had drinks with Steve Martin. Not, not for business or anything, but just basically like, hey, come sit down. And then like, I'm sitting with Steve Martin. Like, I'm sitting with Dave Chappelle. Um, it's just cool. And it's just like YouTube when you like go to VidCon, like the—

like, you know, like you talking to Liza.

It's exactly— yeah, exactly. Yeah, it'd be like Liza talking to me, where it's like the biggest people will talk to the smallest people.

Super casual.

Yeah, super casual. And it's a small festival. And anyways, yeah, we're hanging out one night and the rumor spreads that, you know, Louis showed his— was up in the hotel room, showed his penis to Dana and Julia Julia, who also had a show there that year. Like, they were a two-person sketch group, and it spread. Everyone in the festival knew. Everyone knew.

Okay, and then what happened? How did this rumor get shot down? And then basically, though, the women that were talking about it, were they like bragging about it? Were they like actually like fucking?

I've never talked to Dana and Julia. I'd never known them, you know. But all I had heard was, yeah, like, they were up in the hotel room, we showed them their dick. And I wasn't sure if if Dana and Julia were like the kind of performers that were like, fucking yeah, like balls out, like whatever, it's his cock, like that's hilarious. Like, I just didn't know.

Yeah.

And then come to find out, no, they weren't cool with it at all. And no, they— it fucked their whole careers up and they couldn't work on any projects that Louis was associated with or Louis's manager.

And that was— and that was 11 years ago, or sorry, that was 14 years ago. Yeah. Yeah, holy shit.

And then that went on, and I didn't know of the other instances. And then, and then, and then, and then for— Louie became really famous. He really wasn't that famous then. He, he was famous amongst like comedians. They knew how funny he was, but I don't even think he had his big special yet by then.

And then why did it— why did people hold on to things like that for 14 years?

I, I guess no internet. I guess there wasn't anyone there.

What's crazy to me is these— all these allegations came out, and Kevin Spacey Spacy, um, who was reported— what, he touched boys? I don't know what he did. He was—

yeah, he touches all kinds of men.

He sexually assaulted people, whatever. Um, not whatever.

He touched— he touched Anthony Rapp. That's what lit it off.

Yeah. And it just— it's crazy how Hollywood is reacting now. Kevin Spacy, those allegations came out, and like— and he just— he— they just finished a movie called, um, what is it called?

It's a Ridley Scott movie.

It's called Endless Money or something like that. Oh, it's called All the Money in the World. The movie was finished, the trailer was out for it, it's set to release on December 14th, and they took it so seriously that they're going back and reshooting all the scenes of the movie that have Kevin Spacey in it.

Tons of money with a new actor.

Yeah, bonkers. Yeah, and I mean, I mean, part of that is because they're disgusted of what Louis C.K. did, and the other part of that is, oh my god, look, we're gonna look so good if we do this because people are gonna be talking about it, which, which both ways—

yes, that happened before Louis C.K., they recast him. Yeah, that was 2 weeks ago. Yeah, I mean, I don't—

they're reshooting a movie with another actor.

They stripped Louis of Netflix, uh, HBO, FX, all of his deals gone. Yeah, Secret Life of Pets done. And, uh, and I, you know, what he did is awful, but I do feel bad for him.

Yeah, I think that's fair. I think you're allowed to feel bad for him.

I do. I feel bad for him because he's got a sickness.

That's my other question.

You always feel bad for people.

I feel bad for anybody that gets in trouble.

I do too.

I don't know why, but it's even criminal. I don't know. It's because I've never been in the shoes of the victim.

Right.

So like, you know, I don't know. I always just feel bad. But this is my question, which is a good transition with mental illness, I noticed that when there's like, when there's like a big shooting or there's even a shooting in general and the person, the defendant that shot everyone is pleading insanity so that they're saying that they're mentally ill just to get less of a charge. I never understood that. I never understood how if you're mentally ill you can get less of a charge. That makes no fucking sense to me.

Me.

Do you understand that? Sick. But dude, but what— that, that's just so— it's such bullshit to me. Like, you're sick.

Plead insanity.

I know you're insane, but, but okay, let's say, let's say a guy, let's say a guy shot 4 people, is getting the death penalty, right? Okay, and now all of a sudden he wants to plead insanity and he wants to say he's a mental illness, and, and now he's not gonna fucking have the death penalty? It's fucking pathetic.

Well, they have to prove that he is insane.

But who gives a fuck if he's insane? You shot 4 people. You're fucking insane regardless.

But we're talking about— that's just exactly what we're talking about. You feel bad for the person.

No, I'm not.

I mean, like, you're like, okay, well, this person's insane, so they plead the insanity defense.

No, I'm saying that I don't think it justifies if you're mentally ill. If you don't think so, that makes no fucking sense.

Have you ever known a mentally ill person? Have you ever known someone who's like not all there?

Care.

Like, I used to work at a state hospital. Like, it's— but, but I'm saying it's fucking scary if you killed 4 people. It's like killing a rich, um, a mentally handicapped person.

I, I can't imagine it being like that.

It is if you— if, if— but dude, if a mentally handicapped person—

what person killing multiple people is not mentally ill? Like, what person is that?

Someone who's just—

someone who's what?

Vengeful?

I don't know.

Someone who's— who— someone who doesn't care?

That's what mentally ill to me is, is someone who kills 4 people.

That's the difference. I mean, you're talking about someone who isn't all there, so someone who was like, yeah, fuck these people, I don't care. I'm gonna rob 'em and I don't care if they die. I don't know, I think that's the difference. That's the difference, and yeah, it's, you know.

No, I think that line is way too thin, and I don't think that should be a thing. Whatever, never mind about the whole insanity conversation, 'cause I'm starting to confuse myself. But I have something that ties in with insanity conversation. Last night, my friend Jonah, I called him in the morning and I told him, this was in the vlog, but I just wanna recap Just for the people that don't watch the show.

Oh yeah, I wasn't there last night.

Yeah, so I called him at like 6 PM and I'm like, dude, listen, I need to film. I don't have any footage. And he's like, I got you. And he hangs up. And then I go and then I get to my house. It's like 10:30 PM.

What did you think when he said I got you?

I'm just like, oh, he's going to find out a way to hurt himself or something. I don't know. He loves doing that. He loves putting himself in painful situations. Patience because he knows how much I love it. But, but he calls me like 10:30 and I'm upstairs shooting in my apartment and he's like, David, come down. Like a freaking— I was like, David, please come down right now. I'm getting my ass kicked right outside 7-Eleven. And I'm like, fuck you, you're lying. He's like, just come, come.

Was he already up at the apartment or he hadn't gotten there yet?

No, he hasn't even been to my apartment. I didn't even know he was in the area. I just get a call from him, I'm downstairs at the 7-Eleven, I'm getting my ass kicked. So I fucking sprint down, like, I'm—

grab your camera.

I grab my camera. The camera's already in my hand.

David has a house and an apartment. David has an apartment where he goes and films, and it's been the set of his vlogs for the last 3 years. Even though he doesn't sleep there anymore, he goes there and it's like this weird dungeon, crazy, part jail, a bunch of part insanity at this apartment. There's weird people sleeping on the couch, couches. He finds new members of the vlog that come through there.

That's how he found Jonah, my friend Dirty Dom, he's a drug dealer, drug addict now, more of Alex Ernst. Alex Ernst. They're all, they're all specific characters and they're all really fucking crazy people. And it's really fun to see the people that walk into the apartment because they're all, they're all super character-like and they all have their own like weird things about them. Anyway, he calls me, he's like, come down. I sprint downstairs and I'm immediately recording him and I'm like, oh my God, this is fake, this is fucking fake, this is— I see you, they're not even actually hitting you, it's fake.

What do you see when you come downstairs? Stairs.

In the back of my head, I'm like, this is fake. He's just doing it to draw me out.

But what do you see?

He's just getting jumped by 4 dudes.

Okay, jump like what?

Like, like they're stomping on the floor and they're, they're kicking him in the stomach and they're kicking him in the face.

Can you tell that the kicks are real?

I mean, yeah, the kicks in the stomach are real, but he's really good at taking pain. So I'm like, yeah, so they're really kicking him. They're— yeah, they're kicking him. But at the back of my head, I'm like, okay, this is fake. I know this is fake. And then literally without even thinking talking, uh, or without even having any time to pull him apart, a cop pulls up and he gets out of the car and he's like, get on the wall, all of you guys, break it up, I don't give a fuck if this is a joke, get on the wall. And the other cop pulls out his gun and he's pointing it at Joe and he's pointing it at all of us, like, like about to have a shootout. And we're just like, it's a fucking joke, it's a joke, it's a joke. And he's like, get on the fucking wall. And then we sit there for 20 minutes and Jonah's like, Jonah Jonah's like, man, listen, I'm a comedian. We just make these jokes. Jonah loves saying he's a comedian.

He loves saying he's a comedian.

Fucking says he's a comedian all the time.

He's never been on stage.

He's never been on stage. He's never been in a movie. He tells his mom, like, when his mom's like, why don't you go get a job? He literally says, Mom, I'm a fucking comedian. I'm writing jokes. Yeah, that's what he says.

And even when I'm not writing jokes, Mom, I'm writing jokes. I'm working up to writing the jokes. That's what he says.

Cutest thing, because he's like He's like this wannabe comedian, and I really appreciate the effort.

And he is not— he's not without talent. He's talented. No, he's—

yeah, he's a funny kid.

He's a funny actor.

And it's just— it's just, we're sitting there 20 minutes, and it's me, it's 4— 3 or 4 Black— it's 3 Black dudes and Jonah. And someone tweeted at me, they're like, "White privilege." And I don't know— I don't know what the fuck they meant by that.

I don't know what that means.

Because that's bullshit, because we were all in the same exact situation.

I guess if it was 4 4 black guys making the prank, they would have went to jail is what they meant.

Maybe. None of us were treated differently at all, right? And like, I even— like, I even talked to the black guys. I like— we even made like, you know, we even made those kinds of jokes after it was over. And they were literally like— they were like— they're like, we've been in situations with police officers. All you have to do is be respectful, right? That's what they said. And I'm like, well, that makes sense to me. He's like— and they're like, yeah, a lot of times people are just douchebags and bad things happen to them. And when I was there with the kids, they were— everything the cop asked them, they would just answer. There wasn't a problem. The cop was like, "Okay, go on. Don't fucking do that again." And that's what happened.

And so when they had you on the knees cuffed, did you think you were going to jail?

Well, the problem is even if I get written up, even if I go to jail, I get deported. Oh, oh shit. Because of my legal status.

So that's what you were thinking?

I wasn't thinking, I didn't care for it. I figured that if I got deported, it'd be the funniest way to get fucking deported. But I don't know, I don't know. You know what, one reason that I actually wanna get deported is because I'm a homeowner now, which I just figured out recently. And guess what happened yesterday? I'm minding my own business, I take a bath.

You're a good person.

Thank you.

You give to charity.

I take a bath for the first time ever in my bathtub, right? It's great.

You did?

Yeah, I took a bath. Don't look at me like I'm a pussy.

Pussy. Don't even— I'm not looking at you like a pussy.

You're looking at me like I'm pathetic.

No, not at all. I just think it's curious that you took a bath. You don't seem like the bath type. You seem like you're not— you would never take a moment to relax or pamper yourself.

I took a bath, okay? And it was in, uh, 10,000 pounds of meat sauce. It was actually for a vlog.

Oh, okay, okay, then that makes sense.

That makes sense. No, no, no, I took a bath, and after the bath you have to shower because it's all soapy or whatever.

So I shower, get all the meat sauce off, get all the meat sauce.

I showered, and then guess what happens?

What?

The water in my shower— I have a shower that's like ground level, it's not like in a tub— so it just started pouring over all into my bathroom and all into my bedroom. And I come out and my bedroom floor is soaked. There's like an inch of water in my bathroom.

The hardwood floors.

I had no idea. So I'm like, I'm screwed, I'm I'm screwed. And then Liza comes over the next day, and Liza takes a poop. Did you know that Liza poops? My girlfriend poops.

Liza?

Yeah. And I found this out myself.

Oh.

And that was the same look I had on my face.

And no, I know girls poop, but I didn't— just didn't know Liza did.

And we'll get to this another time, don't worry. I, I have—

I just figured everything was perfect.

I already called her parents. I let them know that I want to speak to them because I'm just as confused as you are. And then Liza poops, and she clocks the toilet. So then I'm like, great, can't use that toilet. She says I'm not allowed in the bathroom because she can't unclog it. So then I, I go into another toilet to go use the bathroom there. I poop, I clog that toilet. Oh, and I try flushing it again. And then I come back to my bedroom and Liza's poop water has now poured out of the room and is all over my bedroom floor now. Oh, it has poured out of the bathroom into the bedroom floor. It's all over my bedroom We have to clean it up. Liza says do not use the white towels because she doesn't want me to see her poop. So we use the darker towels to clean everything up. It's disgusting.

You— how is using darker towels— you're still gonna see the poop.

Yeah, but it's just— it's less— it's less scary.

I guess once the brown towel is picking up the brown, you can't see the brown.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. So we clean all that up.

This is so cute. This is such a little newlywed moment, isn't it?

Yeah, cleaning each other's shit up.

Yeah, it's like getting to know each other.

It was great. And then— and then I have— and then I call the guy. I call the plumbing guy. Guy, and turns out there's roots growing in my plumbing. Like, they're clogging up because there's like roots growing inside the tubes that's sending the sewage out. And he went under the house and he found that out? Yeah, he went 80 feet under the house, and he said now he has to drill a hole in my driveway that's gonna cost me $5,000 to fix the plumbing. That's what they don't tell you about being a homeowner. This is the stuff that they leave behind.

They do tell They do? They do.

Yeah. Where did they tell you that?

Everyone says it. Really? What do they say? Your rent, you don't have to worry about repairs. That's what my family used to say growing up because we couldn't afford a house. They'd be like, ah, better an apartment. You don't have to cut the grass. But that's, that's what they say.

And now I owe $5,000. I know that wasn't much of a story.

That's nothing. That's, that's nothing. That's, that's what, that's what it is to own a home.

I know. And it's not much of a story, but it's just a wake-up call. If you guys are looking to buy a home, don't do that.

I have one for sale.

Invest in Tesla instead. Yeah. And I have one for sale. I'm now. Um, no, but it was, it was a dumb move, a goofy move that won't happen again. You know what also won't happen again? What? A Chicago Live podcast show.

Oh boy, your transitions are tight tonight.

There's no better time.

Go buy a ticket, sell it to the people, buy a ticket right now. Preach!

Come see all of us. We're a friend group, we're a tight-knit community that loves making vlogs and loves podcasting. Uh, who's coming? Who's coming? Scott, Scott, Christen, Christen, Zane, Karina, Corinna, Brandon, Brandon, Zane, Zane, Jason, Jason, David. We're all gonna be there, and some surprises, some surprise people are gonna be there too. It's gonna be fun. Just make sure you come, make sure you buy tickets, buy them before they sell out. This has been a Views podcast brought to you by Jason Nash. Yep, the man, @JasonNash.

Get that, you can get tickets on my Twitter, go for it.

And I'm David Dobrik, you can also call me Jeff. Thank you guys for listening to this podcast. We'll see you guys later. Later. Next time on Vue. Just needed a couple more seconds to end the podcast. And we're good. All right. Bye.