JASON CATCHES INTRUDER (POLICE CALLED)

All right.

I got some fucking beef with this dude.

Dude, I haven't even said what's up, guys. Welcome back to— what's up, guys? Welcome back to Views. Okay, listen to me, bro. Go.

What's fucked up about the fact that you're wearing—

why are you sitting like that, bro?

Because I want to confront you.

Doesn't he look bigger? Like his muscles grew like a lot.

It's like this, like he's kind of slanted and he's like, he's He's like slipping off.

He sits like a gorilla. You know when you go to the zoo and you see a silverback?

Yeah, yeah, he looks like a capuchin.

Yeah, please say my fucking piece. He's gonna harambe your ass right now though.

He laughs.

Harambe is just like a good reference to say.

Harambe is fun. What happened with Harambe? Did he eat a kid?

No, he got killed. Well, yeah, well, he didn't eat a kid.

I thought he just broke the kid.

Kids.

Well, what happened? Let's get it right.

I think he killed the kid. Did he? I think so.

Yeah, the kid like went into the, um, enclosure.

Oh, and then he had— and then they had to kill Harambe and everybody was upset.

Yeah, yeah.

And like all those memes came out about Harambe.

It sucked. It was like a fucking 12-day trial. Oh yeah, they hung him at the zoo.

Yeah.

And— oh wow. Hit it, Angry Boy.

I don't have a problem with you wearing my shirts. I'm Okay, because this is the third one now.

This is all— that's a— this is—

this your shirt?

He's been wearing my shirts forever.

I know, but hear me out. He'll make fun of my shirts, right? So he'll, he'll talk shit about what I wear and then he'll wear it.

Oh yeah.

So like, yeah, I don't get it.

Yeah, you're like, explain yourself, because that's totally so fucked up.

I told you this the exact— I was actually gonna say this now until you started talking about that. Yeah, like I wore this shirt to be funny.

Piss me off.

Ugly. No, no, the, the other The other day I was like, everyone was hanging out in the living room and I was like, let me put on a fun shirt to like stir up conversation, like something really stupid and ugly. So I literally—

straight to—

I'm not kidding. I went into my closet and I picked out the ugliest shirt I could find, like a shirt that doesn't make any sense. Why would anybody even purchase this? I don't know why it's in my closet. It's definitely not mine. I put it on, I walked out, and Ilya goes, that's my fucking shirt. And then I—

it wasn't even anything crazy. It was a Lamborghini shirt.

It's just— yeah, but it was like, it had like the the Lamborghini, like a huge neon green logo of the Lamborghini, like so obnoxious.

You do wear loud shirts.

Yeah, I do not.

I like when you dress—

that shirt you have on now is pretty sick.

I mean, it's still kind of the same sentiment though.

It's like, yeah, but at least you got it from the jean. Like, this is like, this is like, uh, it's a TJ Maxx shirt.

I like his full workout gear where he's got like the underpants that match. It's like white leggings and then blue shorts.

Fuck it, come in the closet and take your fucking—

I'm good.

You can— I'm good.

You can—

it looks better on you anyway.

So, well, guys, let's talk about the more pressing things. Elon Musk is going to be buying all of Twitter.

Oh, I saw that.

He wants to buy 100% of Twitter.

He wants to, or he's going to?

He made the offer.

I think he probably wants her. It's like $30.

Uh, no, it's, um, $43 billion.

Somewhere around there. Yeah, we're so bad. I love how Natalie looks at me for approval. I read the headline of the article. I have no fucking idea.

$51 a share. $43 billion.

$54 a share.

I thought it was $51.56.

Well, regardless, yeah, it's gonna be like over $40 billion.

Yeah.

Wow. To buy all of Twitter.

How much money does he have?

I don't know.

I thought he only had— I thought he just recently—

place to stay after this, after this purchase. Elon, we're extending our, uh, our home to you after you buy Twitter. How does, uh, he's running Twitter from here. I shouldn't have made this purchase. I knew it was stupid. I knew it was stupid. I knew it was stupid.

We tried to tell you, Elon. No one goes on there.

Uh, we should also talk about we're all going to Coachella.

Yeah, we're all going. I can't wait to go. I'm so excited.

Jay, you're not going.

No, I'm not going.

Which is not going at all?

No, which is weird because you're like a little Coachella queen. Me? Yeah.

What are you talking about? I like to go. I don't like the concert, but I do love to like go to the house and play volleyball with you and cook steaks.

I don't have a volleyball net at the house.

And then, and then Dave will be like, Todd, one more game of basketball, and then you Dave will be beating Todd in basketball, and then Todd will come back and start to get really aggressive and like elbow Dave in the face. Yeah. Then it gets too serious. Yeah, that's my favorite shit. Yeah, that's what I will be missing. But I'm not gonna miss going through the crowds and—

no, it's, it's not fun. I'm kind of excited.

Oh good, like you should be.

It's like a, like I, I describe every year, but it's like a field trip for LA.

Yeah.

Um, like everybody from here goes. Like I was telling Nelly, like nowhere else like does that happen. I feel like there's no other city that like decides to like take a trip. Like, it's such a— it's such a normal thing. It's like— it's like being at work and there's like a work party that night and be like, are you going to that? It's the same thing when you're in any job here. Like, are you going to Coachella? Like, it's like— that's how you ask it. Like, it's like such a normal part of like your April.

All I remember about Coachella is the like hour walk home every night.

Oh yeah, it's brutal. And everyone can Uber, right? Everyone's kicking up dirt.

Really hard to Uber. Yeah.

Let's go over the bad things about Coachella. What are the bad things?

Entering and exiting are a bitch.

Yeah, entering, exiting sucks. Did you know that they have a system where if you find 10 water bottles, you get one for free? Yeah, which is actually really good.

Yeah, it's like a cleanup program.

That's nice.

Yeah, so I think that's genius. Sorry, I'm already listening good things.

Those are good things.

I'm such an optimist when it comes to the festival.

You're like, a brand's paying me $75,000 to be there, that's a good thing.

Um, let's see, uh, negatives. I Oh, cell phone.

No service.

No service. You— finding people is the worst because you spend all day doing it. And it's the worst because like everyone will be like, this is fucking— this happened. It'll be like, let's meet at Billie Eilish. And then it's like, what?

Where?

That's not like an intersection.

Yeah, that's like 50,000 people.

It's 50,000. And then you show up to Billie Eilish, you're like, she's fucking playing and you want to watch, but you're on the phone with fucking J-Boys and you're like, where are you? Put your phone in the sky. What did you say? No, put Put the phone under the water bottle and hold the water bottle up and use it like a light. And now you're fucking the entire concert. You're just trying to find this person. So that's— that, that does suck about Coachella.

I saw all the masks that Taylor bought you. I was dying laughing.

Yeah, I got a lot of masks.

That was funny.

Why did you get masks?

That's cool stuff.

So you can hide.

Yeah, she's not bothered.

I mean, are you that famous?

Yeah.

Well, no, it's fucking annoying, dude. It's annoying. In fact, you know what? We can't even hang out with you anymore. Why'd you laugh?

Yeah.

I love Jay.

Um, yo, I saw this on a TikTok the other day. I wanna, I wanna try it on you guys, see how it makes you feel. I want you to hold hands with the person next to you.

My hands are so sweaty.

I'm totally kidding, that's not part of the exercise. Um, okay, so if I was to give you guys each a million dollars— yeah, right, yeah, right now— yeah, how, how would you guys feel? By the way, I got this off TikTok. This is completely stolen, this is not my These are not my words coming out of my mouth.

You have a million dollars.

No, I give you guys each a million dollars in cash right now. Just basic feelings.

Excited. I mean, so joyful.

So joyful.

How would you feel? I'd be like, David, no.

Fucking right. Yeah, fuck.

I would.

Really?

Yeah, I would feel so bad.

Okay, I had a lot of millions of dollars. I was a billionaire.

Oh, I'd be confused.

I mean, I definitely would be confused. Guys, he just gave you a million bucks. Just be happy about it.

Like, how did you transfer it already?

Like, fuck yeah, Dave, yes!

I'd be like, no, no, no way, thank you. Be like that.

Yes, yes. Wow, he wanted to—

I don't know if you're gonna cry or—

yeah, okay, so you'd be like euphoric? Yeah. What about you?

I'll just be confused.

Okay, but come on, for this—

he doesn't like to take anything from you guys.

I understand it, but just, but just, dude, you want me to lie about how I'm gonna feel? All right, fuck it, I'm gonna do this with Natalie and Jason. Natalie, Jason, it's 1.5. It's actually better with you two. And that's actually the best with Jason.

Yeah.

So, Jay, let me just do it. Jay.

Oh, fuck. Okay. I'm not getting $1 million anymore.

Sorry.

I'll give you $1 million. How are you feeling?

So good.

So good.

Yeah, I'd love it. Yeah.

Like euphoric. Like the best.

Yeah.

Yeah, right.

Yeah.

Okay, so now, so now let me, let me do this.

It's going to be some dark, twisted turn to this.

Yeah, he's going to be like, then I have to keep Charlie and Wyatt in a closet for 5 years and they suffer every day and they're emaciated and they scream, Daddy, Daddy, why? Why? That's always your scenario. Go ahead.

Okay.

Well, is it about Charlie?

He's like, well, kind of steered me the wrong way, but okay. So $1 million, you'd be super excited, super joyous for it.

Yeah.

Now let's say I gave you— let's, let's say I even gave you $10 million.

Okay.

But the next day you don't wake up. Would you take it?

What? I don't know that I'm going to die.

But now, you know, the next day you don't wake up. Would you take the $10 million?

Are you feeling okay?

Tell me. Yes or no? No, no, no. Okay. So you've just valued waking up tomorrow morning at $10 million.

I've seen this.

So why don't you wake up with that same type of excitement every day?

I'm going to fucking punch you in the face. I hate shit like that.

Oh, you like actually thought it was cool?

Yeah, I thought it was cool.

I saw that and I thought it was cool. And I was like, man, if David saw this, he thinks was dumb as shit.

Honestly, I thought it surprised you.

It sounds like you're about to tell me about Jesus, you know what I mean?

I also had like a crazy dream last night.

What was your dream?

I've been in a— I can't talk about it here.

Why not?

Has to do with love. Tell us. Nah, I can't.

Was it about an ex-girlfriend?

No, no, no. I love how you said that, like you're like really caring, like it's something I'm like dealing with. Was it about you know who? Yeah. Uh, no, no, no, no, no. I thought it was good. You didn't think that was good?

I just think it's not realistic.

If someone came in here right now, it's hard and said, I'm going to— I have $10 million, but only one of you can get it. Who should get it?

Probably me.

Asking that.

I think Jason.

Yeah, Jason randomly texted that group chat. No, it's probably me.

It's definitely not you. And it's definitely not Ilya.

Let's do this. Let's do this. Let's do this. Last to get it, like, for sure. Dead last. 3, 2, 1.

Natalie.

Fuck her.

Obviously, you guys are all going to That's not even funny.

That sucks.

I would probably— I'd probably give it to Dave.

I'd probably give it to you, Jay.

I'd give it to you because I feel like you'd— you'd— you'd use it the best.

Really?

Yeah.

Wow. That's crazy.

You'd use it the best. You'd like either like you do something that would like get all your friends making money or you would.

Well, here's the thing.

Give it away to like, you help Jonah with his movie. If you, if you presented it that way, I just give it to my kids.

If, yeah, if somebody came in and was like, one of you gets $10 million, if it was presented that way, then I would just spend it on all of us if I got it right. So I think that's— I think, I think most of—

I think that would probably be fairest is just to split it up.

Yeah. Sorry, Nat.

Well, yeah, but what? I don't care. Yeah, you know, over it.

It's all good though.

She's so pissed.

I know.

I don't. I'm not pissed at all.

I only said Natalie because I knew these two, obviously. And they both were like, I only said dramatic because I felt it.

When are you guys leaving for, uh, Chella?

At 3.

Aren't you driving with them?

You're leaving at 3?

That's crazy. I've never flown to Coachella. What are we going to be there in 6 minutes?

It's a 25-minute flight. Yeah.

Holy shit.

That's— I feel like that's a lot even.

I know. I think it—

I think they probably have to like fly out a weird way and then—

yeah, maybe.

But the crazy part is, is like you're over all that traffic.

Did you just say You're flying on a private jet and that's a lot. It's 25 minutes.

No, but to Vegas, Jay, when you fly private jets as much as we do, even, you know how annoying it is? Even a little minute, it's fucking— and a disgusting private jet, forget about it.

No, Jay, I'm saying that because to Vegas it's like, it's 35 minutes and it's a 4-hour drive, but to Palm Springs it's a 2-hour drive.

I think it's a little longer to Vegas, isn't it?

Actually, one of my favorite parts about Coachella is the drive to Coachella.

Really?

Yeah, I've done it with Illya a couple times.

You guys are flying? That's awesome.

No, I think it's the fucking coolest thing.

That's so fucking—

I wouldn't take the drive. I wouldn't take the drive. If Illya was like, okay, hop in with me, I'd be like, fuck no, I'm flying.

Because I was about to say, you're leaving at 3, you're fucked if you're driving. If you left at 3—

I'm gonna say this right now, this is my last Coachella. Oh my God, hold on a second. This is my last Coachella unless Zilla sponsors the house and all the events.

Fuck, he's not coming back for Coachella week.

I'm kidding.

Uh, that was actually a joke.

What was a joke?

No, I didn't want to put you down. Deal's doing really well, so like, I didn't— I don't want people to think it's not doing well because—

oh, what you just said.

Okay, what's the update with your protein company?

We sold out.

Yay!

That is the one and only update.

That's the update.

And what's like— because people think you put like— I saw some comments like, you probably only like 20 products.

I haven't seen any of those comments.

Oh yeah, I haven't seen those either.

I was just thinking, how many products did you have? Or like, how much did you— how— what was like the dollar amount or something that you can share?

We sold, uh, 3,000 units.

Oh, that's fucking pretty good. Yeah, it's pretty insane because like I thought no one really cared about protein.

Me too, bro. I'm like, well, I don't really understand.

I know Alex and I, the night before I talked to him, I was like, dude, Whatever happens, whatever happens, we just have to keep going. And like, I wasn't expecting—

fucking, he's on the Titanic, man.

No, seriously, though, because like, I was expecting, like, I was on the edge of his bed with a gun, bro.

Okay, Alex, turn the site live. How's it doing? Oh, wait, wait, wait, wait. We got a sale. Oh, fucking.

Thank God.

No, we thought we were going to get like I don't know, 200 orders.

No, Natalie, I did not expect those numbers at all.

No, not at all.

I mean, your YouTube video got 1.2 million views. It's just crazy on a brand new channel, untouched channel, just made the name.

So yeah, we sold out and we're restocking at the end of April, so like 2 weeks.

Ah, right after Coachella. So yeah, yeah, yeah, eat all you want. Actually, nobody ever gains weight during Coachella, right? It's only losing weight.

I've gained weight.

I feel like, really, bro? You're walking like 8 miles a day.

Yeah, but they got those tamales, like burritos.

I feel like eat that much. It's not that much food.

You know, the craziest part is the house we're staying at, Jay. So this is nice.

Oh my gosh, yes.

This is what we should talk about. We're so happy. Our— it's a, it's a seltzer. They're sponsoring this entire trip. So not only— this is, this is like the coolest part about being an influencer is like random, or like being in the entertainment world in general, right? Um, so what they do is they're sponsoring the trip. Like, they're, they're buying all our tickets, like the artist passes, whatever, right? And then on top of that, they paid for a private jet to fly us out there, which is unreal. And then the house we're staying at is one of like 7 houses and it's on a cul-de-sac and the cul-de-sac is gated and all the other houses are other friends. Oh, God. So it's like Stassi baby. And then it's like the Herbert twins. It's like everybody, really? Yeah. It's like literally all of like the people we hang out with in L.A. In this cul-de-sac in 7 houses. It's crazy. And the main house is having like the big Coachella happy hour party. So like the main house, no one's in because it's made to be the party house. Like, that's so crazy. Like, you can walk over the— it's going to be like Project X.

That's great.

Like, that neighborhood is going to be just partying. And I don't know, I can't imagine it.

And I'll be driving my daughter to Northridge to fucking Claimjumper. Can't wait.

Wait, I forgot to tell you the best part.

What is— I— you have a ticket for me?

If you want to go, you can. But the, the, the, the menu for the houses is catered by Jon and Vinny's.

No way!

Breakfast, lunch, and dinner.

And late— and late night.

And late— that's fucking crazy, Jay. No, it's crazy. Talking to Mike, Jay.

I don't want to. It's no Jon and Vinny's.

Yeah, it's pretty unreal. Which is like, if you don't know L.A., like, that's the place to go to get pasta. It's fucking delicious. Or pizza.

So, John, it is so good.

It's going to be like Cheetah Plains.

Yeah, it's going to be amazing. Cheetah Plains is in South Africa. But yeah, it was— it's going to be— it's the worst trip ever. I'm like, it's going to be because this, this podcast is actually the first half of it is pre-Cochella. Yeah. And in 10 seconds, it's after Coachella. 10, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4. See you after Coachella.

Ilya's— you come back, Ilya's dead.

Yeah, he cuts to— so Ilya passed away.

Dude, that's so fucked.

During, uh, Ilya passed away during the Swedish House Mafia show.

He decided to take a 28-mile run in 100-degree heat. I told him not to, said he had to get his pump in.

Oh my God, let's have a moment of silence.

All right.

That's how fast we bounce back. We just got back from Coachella. We're kind of— I don't know what I expected to record a podcast after Coachella.

Natalie called it. She was like, you guys, she's like, maybe Monday might not be the best day.

Yeah. Obviously you heard, you heard the last portion of the podcast where it was like before Coachella, where I feel like we had a lot more energy. And like, that's when I thought it would be a good idea to, like, be like, let me recap the weekend right when I get back. I'm fucking dead, bro.

And it's Tuesday.

Yeah, it's Tuesday.

Had a whole day to recover.

The podcast is late because it's the next day.

Oh, you should have seen my assistant showed up 4 hours late from Coachella.

Really?

Unreal.

Well, dude, it's brutal. We were up till like 5.

Hard. I know.

We're up so tough. Coachella is the weirdest thing to complain about how hard Coachella is, but it's difficult.

No, it is tough. I can't imagine. That's why I didn't go. But, but tell me what, what happened?

How do you just didn't have tickets?

I could have got a ticket if I wanted.

Really? Because you were in the group chat saying, please, anybody, I really want to go this year.

Don't help me like that.

Tell everybody I want to, um, remain cool. No, you came by. Jason came by our house for a little bit. Okay, it was really cool. So it was, um, we stayed in the house, beautiful house sponsored by Happy Hour Gus Originals. It was really, really well accommodated. Food was amazing. Everything was amazing.

John and Vinny's, like, John and Vinny's.

Yeah, we already touched on that.

Sure, sure.

Sorry. Um, But yeah, it was a blast. But we were up till like 5 or 6 in the morning.

Oh, can't do it every day.

Oh, and then we wake up at like noon or 1, and then we don't— our day would like technically start like our festival day would start around like 6 p.m. That's when you go to the festival. Yeah. And then, and then it would end at like 6 in the morning. So it was a pretty weird clock. I actually feel jet lagged from 2 hours away. That's, that's what my body is right now.

Did you check your steps? Ever?

No, I wish.

You should check them. Was there a point when it got to be like Sunday where you were like, oh fuck, I got to go to the festival? Or are you excited to go every day?

Yeah, it felt like I told Zane, I was like, this place kind of feels like the nicest, nicest, nicest jail. Like, because like every—

because that's how I felt when I was—

because like every day you had to go out and party. Yeah, every day you had to go out and get drunk. Like there was no choice. And it just— It felt like it was like someone was like, okay, you're stuck in the desert, Palm Springs, but every night you have to take Molly. Like, that's what it felt like. Um, which wasn't— I'm, you know, I'm obviously complaining of like one of the coolest festivals ever, but it was fun.

There was a lot.

What was the coolest moment you had?

The coolest moment?

Yeah.

Um, there was Harry Styles was the headliner, and his fourth song, he looks at me and he goes, this one's for you, David.

That's cool. Yeah, that's a cool moment.

That may have been me tripping. Um, and then he floated down, came down and grabbed my hand and took him up with—

Is it— is there anybody that you saw that was like, you ran into, not famous, but anybody like, um, that you're like, cool to see? Didn't you run into Alex Ernst?

I ran into Alex Ernst.

Did you just randomly see him?

Which is actually probably the coolest person you could run into at Coachella, for sure. He only— him and his girlfriend Emily only came for the, for the Revolve Festival. Like, they didn't come for like anything, anything Coachella related. So like, he was at the festival for a while and I was like really late. It took us, it took us, I'm not kidding you, like a little over 2 hours to get to the Revolve Festival from our house, which was 20 minutes away. Like, that's how bad traffic was. We got lost. We had to go get the tickets from somewhere else. But Alex was at the Revolve Festival for like 6, 7 hours because they have like a bunch of like free wings. And like free ice cream.

Is that the one with the— Yeah, the thing that spins. It revolves, swings.

Revolve Festival is like a festival, like 15 minutes away from Coachella. It's like, imagine a mini carnival, but like for like influencers and whatnot.

And they have like sick performers too, like Post Malone and really cool people.

Yeah, they have like their own performers.

And that's every day.

Every day, Saturday and Sunday.

Wow.

I think. Yeah. But, but the best one I got to give a shout out to Neon Carnival. It was the fucking best afterparty. It was other than our own at our own house. But Saturday, Saturday night, we went to this like it's another carnival.

Yeah, just carnival after carnival.

Fucking carnival. But it was incredible. The DJ was so good. I just sat and watched him for like an hour.

Ruckus.

Yeah, Ruckus. Yeah. I was like completely in awe of him. The music was amazing.

You're learning to be a DJ.

My friend actually was across the DJ booth from us. And he filmed a video of DJ, sent it to me this morning, and it's David just staring at Ruckus like in awe, just like how amazing his DJ skills are. It's really fun.

We should put it in here.

It's funny.

He was just so good. Let me see. He was, he was so good.

He was just like, yeah, he's killing it.

Yeah.

Every time or nighttime? Nighttime. At it at night? Yeah.

I was just—

you watched him for an hour?

A little over.

Were you up close?

Yeah, I was right next to him for like an hour.

No kidding.

For an hour. This is what David looked like.

You're like a sick fan. Like, that's really cool. Oh, David's like this.

I looked— yeah, it's like really scary to watch. I was sitting there for an hour and I was like, damn, I hope this guy doesn't think I'm like planning to murder him after the show.

Hey, Ruckus, like, that's not my hat.

Yeah, that was nuts. Um, no, but it was crazy. Coachella is just really interesting, like running into people that you normally don't see.

Um, like, who, who else?

I don't know.

I mean, nobody else. Um, what we were— I went out Friday. I made the biggest mistake.

I—

Thursday I was at Dave Buster's with my kids, and we had this plan to go out on Friday, and then I was like, this is a dumb idea. This is dumb. Like, we don't have tickets. Why are we driving out there? So stupid. So I tried to call Brandon. I was like, Brandon, it's gonna be bad. It's gonna be a bad drive. He got really mad at me because I was canceling the plans, and I was like, I'm telling you, it's gonna be awful.

Yeah, he texted me to text you.

So I drove out there 3 hours, we got there, you guys left, and then we just fucking sat at the house. We went and got fajitas.

Wasn't that fun? Don't you like the house?

The house is great.

I thought that's what you were coming out for.

Yeah, I was, but it was just also like, you love Palm Springs. Something— I do love Palm Springs. Something was pulling me back to LA, and it was my kids. 'cause it was Passover that night. And so Saturday morning I woke up and I raced home to be with my kids. They had plans. So I was here for no reason.

They were going to Coachella. Yeah. They also found tickets somehow, and I was in disbelief.

And then Saturday night I come over here to hang with Ilya for like an hour and use the hot tub. Doesn't get hot. So I'm driving home. Doesn't get hot. And something was pulling me back here, and I get to my house, And Marnie calls me and she's like, someone, someone's in our backyard. There's a strange man in our backyard. Like that. So I race over to their house. Oh wow. Yeah.

And if you weren't here, you couldn't— you wouldn't have been able to stop this break-in.

This break-in. Yeah. So I raced over there. I get there, the kids are like going crazy, whatever.

Are they crying?

No, they weren't crying. They were just like—

are they like in the corner? Like, what's the mood?

Uh, no, they were just like, there's somebody walking in the backyard, like a, like a, uh, a crazy guy.

How fast did you get over there from when she called?

4 minutes.

22 minutes.

3, 3, 4 minutes. Oh wow. I raced, got over there, raced over.

Are you talking to yourself during— as you're driving over there?

Yeah, I was talking to myself.

You love doing that. You love like amping yourself up. What the fuck are you doing in the backyard?

That's exactly what I was saying. Like, go to fucking my kid's house. Come to my kid's house. Yeah. Are you out of your fucking mind? I raced over there. I get there like, oh, he's gone, he's gone. I'm like, what happened? What happened? And they're like, I don't know, we opened— Marnie opened the door and he kind of just stared at her and then he took off. So then I chased— I was like, I'm gonna go out and find him. They're like, what are you doing? We're gonna find him? And I was like, yeah, I'm gonna go out and find him. So I go out and, you know, when something comes over you like that, you're just like doing it, you don't think like, that's probably not a good idea.

It's never come over me like you.

No, you, you definitely— I've seen you in situations where you're like trying to like do right, but you're like overextending a little bit.

Like when I wanted to break into the Las Vegas Museum? Yeah, like that. Yeah, okay, I guess I'm—

I guess I know what you mean. I race through the neighborhood and I find him. What? Yeah, and he's got like a beard. He's got a beard and long hair, blue jean jacket, blue jeans.

How far did you find him down?

I found him— I don't know, it would be like a 4-minute walk from the house. I find him. I mean, it's a Saturday night, no one's up, it's the— everyone's dead in the neighborhood. So I find him and I start following him. He killed everyone.

He killed everybody.

He's trying to go into people's houses. You know, he's trying to break in.

I thought this was gonna have a plot twist that it was like your aunt and uncle. This is actually like a bad person.

No, this is like a guy trying to break in. He's trying to break in. And so I call the police, and Marty couldn't get through the police, but I got through. And they're like, okay, sir. And they're like asking me— you know, you feel like a cop, you know? And they're like, ask me for the address. I'm like, I'm in the 11500 block of Donna, you know, Donna whatever, blah blah blah blah blah. And, uh, and so I follow him and I'm on the phone with the police. And so now he sees that I'm following him, and he's way down like cul-de-sac, but I can still see him. And he starts charging at me, and he just starts running at me. And I'm like, he's charging at me, he's charging at me. And they're like, sir, sir, you need to get out of there, get the fuck out. And he's charging at me, but he— I'm not moving because he's still so far away. Like, he's so fucked up on drugs. And he starts— I'm like, he's charging at me, he's charging at me. And they're like, sir, you got to get out of there. And then he just stops. He just stops charging and like thinks about something else and like, and then like starts wandering around. So anyways, I follow him for like— this is the story— I follow him for like 20 minutes.

Can't wait to hear how this happens.

I know. I follow him for like 20 minutes and I— he, he walks up to another cul-de-sac and you can't get out of this cul-de-sac. It's, it's done. It's, it's, it's, you know. And, uh, so I'm like, I'm like— and I'm on the phone, they're like, do not follow him. And I'm like, okay, I'm not gonna follow him, but I am gonna wait at the bottom of the hill. The police get here, they're like, sir, go home. And I'm like, no, I'm gonna wait. The cops come, they go up to the top of the hill, and then they come back down. And I'm like, he's up there, he's up there. Oh wait, no, this night I gotta go back. The cops come and they go, they go, we told you not to follow him. And I go, okay, okay. And they go, where is he? Like that. And I go, he's up there. And, uh, they come back down. I'm like, he's up there.

They cut.

And then somehow the guy, he like comes from another direction, like that would have been impossible. Like, almost like he was like a ghost or something. Like, it would have been impossible to, to get through the forest in that amount of time.

I think on enough drugs you can pretty much do anything.

So he comes— I'm having a feeling Jason picked up some of our drugs from when he visited in Coachella.

I grabbed a bunch before I left. And anyways, yeah, so then it's Kesha. And then, yeah, they arrested him. That was it.

Oh, they arrested him?

Yeah.

And then I was like a big hero. It was awesome.

Wow. Did people come out? Did people come out of their homes?

They all came out. Everyone They thanked me tomorrow. There was a parade yesterday.

They arrested him for what?

Honestly, they put him in the car and they probably dumped him in the street somewhere.

Are you pressing charges? No. Then they're not arresting him.

Then they are. Yeah, yeah, they're dropping him down. By arresting, I mean they put him in the car.

But he was on drugs.

He was definitely on drugs.

Oh, so he probably won't come back. That was just like a once in a lifetime.

I hope not. Wow. Now that I saved the day, you are.

Now that he knows. Wow, Jason, you're literally so So much braver than I, I knew.

I mean, I didn't get out of my car.

I, um, I had Charlie and Wyatt looking outside of the car on the walkie-talkies with me. Charlie, do you see anybody? I think he's in the bushes. We'll go after him. You're tiny.

But something was calling me back, and that turned out to be it. Wow. Like, I was glad I wasn't at Coachella in that moment, right? You know what I mean?

Can you imagine if Jason was at Coachella with us, like at the VIP bar, and he gets a call from Marnie that his kids are in danger? The amount of like peril he would have been in.

Jason was at— I was at, uh, because Jason was sitting at the house and I was at Coachella, and he texted me. And in my head I go, in my head I go, he's about to be so excited, I'm gonna respond right away.

I was, because I didn't think I'd get a response.

Yeah, he texted me, he's like, what's the passcode to, uh, to the hot tub? Like, to like make it warmer? And I respond, 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6. And literally in seconds I responded, and in seconds he responds back and he goes, fuck yes, you responded! No fucking way! Because the fucking desert is like so dead, you have no connection anywhere. So like when you do get a text out, it feels like you're fucking—

that's how bad it was.

Discovered fire.

That's how bad it was at the house. If I didn't get that hot tub turned on, that was like the only thing to do.

Well, yeah, yeah, that it was. But you'll enjoy that. See, that's— this is where I get confused about you, because like you're all about sitting around and doing nothing and going to Santa Barbara, sitting by the pool in Palm Springs. That's all you talk about. And then when you finally get those moments, you complain and bitch when you're there.

Yeah, you're right.

So, so like, what is it? What do you want?

I had a good time. Okay, go to the festival.

Yeah, I knew it.

Yeah. The happy hour party ever happen on Friday night?

Because I left. It happened Sunday night.

Oh, perfect, because I was told Friday at 1.

We thought it was during the day, then we thought it was Saturday, then it happened Sunday, and it was, uh, it was incredible.

Well, it was the time of our lives.

Cool. I was there Friday night waiting for it to happen. A guy comes into your house at like, I don't know, 10:30, and he's like, you coming to the happy hour party? Yeah. And I was like, uh, when, when is it? They're like, midnight. It's gonna be fucking insane.

It was pretty sick. It was a house party. Yeah, a couple hundred people. Yeah, Weekend was DJing and Swedish House Mafia. It's pretty insane. Obama was signing autographs and yeah, it was like, yeah, it was Swedish House Mafia and Weekend like DJing a house party.

Yeah, that's sick.

There was only like, there was probably less than 100 people there and it was like, it was like a really cool crowd of people.

Yeah. Weekend very interesting for 100 people.

I mean, it wasn't like he was like, okay, ready? It's an hour-long show. Like he got up there just to like spin some stuff, but like, oh, But, um, but yeah, no, it was like really intimate. It was like everybody, every, you know, everybody knew at least 10 people and like that's, that's as far as it went. So it was pretty interesting. Actually, I would probably say everybody knew like 80 people.

After watching DJs this weekend, are you ready to become a DJ?

Yeah, I actually want to make music really bad now. Yeah?

Yeah.

Excited? I feel like there's a way in that like I can figure out that other people haven't. Like, I'm so not musically gifted, right? But I'm— but the one thing I am good at is like knowing what's good and what like works. And I feel like sort of I can wiggle my way into that world in like my own way. I don't know what it is, 100%, but I don't know what it— I don't know if it's like— I don't know. I think it's like something about like the actual performance of the show, of DJing, like of the act, the nature of like putting on a show. I feel like I can, I can do well at if I figure out— I don't know, but I really want to do it. I was like super obsessed. With the DJ. I was watching for 3 hours.

How long was the flight there?

Flight there was like 18 minutes.

Just crazy, really, because my car ride was 3 and a half. Yeah, with 2 charges.

Yeah, that was insane. Flying a private jet to— I don't know, sick. It was amazing.

Yeah, and there's 2 wieners.

Yeah, there's 2 wieners on the fucking flight. Like, it couldn't get better. Oh, that is extra fun. Yeah. It was really funny, the fucking— so there was— we were sitting in the back of the jet, like there was where there was like two couches and there's like me, Zane, Heath, Todd, Mariah, Natalie. Like it was us facing each other on the couches and the wiener dog sitting all the way up front with his mom. Like two, two people up in the front. And first of all, the plane feels like it's going down, like, oh my God, Natalie. I've never seen her be a bigger pussy in my entire life. I was terrified. I keep, I keep looking at it. I'm like, yeah, we're probably going going down. Like, I'm like hugging Todd. I'm like, this is it.

Like fucking with me.

Wait, wait, no, really?

Like fucking with— he was messing with me to like rile me up.

Yeah, yeah. Like, she was like panicking. Like, this fucking thing. Like, first of all, I don't want to get into the argument of if it went down. Like, who cares? You'll pass out by the time— probably if it hits the ground, you'll freak out so much you'll be dead. But like, my other argument was like, like, what's wrong with you? Like, it's just turbulence. And I just think it's— I think it's so funny when Natalie was panicking.

Yeah, but there was never— I was literally out of my seat.

Like, oh yeah, yeah, me and Natalie were sitting on the edge, so we like flew It was like zero gravity.

Yeah, literally like zero.

Yeah, she was panicking. And so rightfully so. And so was Zane.

And Zane hates it too.

Zane hates it. And the woman all the way at the front that had the wiener dog had to go pee. And so, so she, she's holding the wiener dog, going back to the bathroom. And Zane, Zane is all the way at the end of the plane where the bathroom is, like sitting on the edge of the couch. And he sees the wiener dog coming over and he goes, oh my God, thank you. And then he grabs the wiener dog from her, out of her hand, out of her hands. And she's like kind of like standing around while he's— while he's— while she's like waiting to go in the bathroom. And Zane's like, I was so nervous, finally a comfort dog. And then she like kind of like hesitates. She sees that like Zane's having like a good time with the dog, so she like lets them be. And then she goes into the bathroom. Yeah. And we're just like, why did you just fucking rip that dog out of her hand like that? And Zane's like, no, she came over, she saw how stressed I was, she came to give me the dog. And we're like, Zane, are you fucking nuts? Like, are you nuts? She did not come over to give you that dog. She can't even see you from the front of the plane, right? He thought that, like, he thought that she was like, oh, I got to go give my dog to this guy. I was like, she was bringing the dog in, maybe even for the dog to use the bathroom, or like she didn't want to leave the dog's side, so she was going to use the bathroom. And then he's like, no, you guys are wrong. And he's like, when she comes out, I'm going to ask her. And I was like, dude, like, I was like, the courage you have to ask her this. Yeah. Yeah. Um, and then she comes out and he's like, did you bring the dog over just for me? And she goes— she couldn't have been like any more obvious— she goes, no. And he goes, oh, okay, well, okay, I guess I'm totally wrong. It's like, situation completely wrong.

Maybe, maybe in that, like, in that turmoil, he— that's what his brain led him to.

No, but Zayn was doing that all weekend. All weekend. And he— I called him Mr. Can't Read a Room. He like can't read. He's really bad at reading like what's in a room. I don't know, feels, and he just goes and he just says, you know, yeah, like whatever's supposed to come, whatever his brain is firing away, he'll just fucking say it. Um, but at the same token, that's why Zayn's the best.

And like, that's why it's pretty sure Harry Styles wants me to come up on stage right now. He looked in this direction.

Zane, where are you going?

I'm going.

Give me a boost.

You're right, I read it wrong.

Security tackled me. No, but he is— he's the best to go— to go out with. All right guys, that's all the time we have for today. Thank you guys for listening. But before you go, I know you guys see me wear these smiley hats all the time, and that's our buddy Scott and Jay's company. It's a CBD company. They make oils, they make creams, they make gummies, and they make these like little CBD cigarettes, which are really cool. Like, um, that'll help you relax and calm down if you don't like smoking weed. And if you don't like smoking cigarettes, it's like an in-between where it doesn't have all the harsh chemicals and all that. And then there's CBD, it just calms you down. CBD. Um, and I just want to give a quick plug to them because I feel like I get a lot of questions about the hat.

And I go, happy face, it's a sick hat.

Yeah, I get a lot of questions about happy face. Um, they're actually opening a location. I'm so— I'm really excited for them. But go check out CBD by Happy Face. All right guys, we'll see you guys later. This has been a Views podcast. My name is Jeff. Bye-bye, guys.