Denied By My Crush

What's up guys, welcome back to Views. I know you guys fucking hate me. I know you guys are pissed. I know this podcast is 3, 4 days late, and I know that Jason called this out and was like, David, there's no way you're going to record a pod on your own with Natalie in Ibiza. There's no way, David. And I know. I know that happened, but they tried.

They did record something.

We didn't just try. We recorded magic.

Oh yeah.

Yeah.

Magic with Noah Beck's mic out.

Yes.

Yes.

We recorded with Noah Beck, got some of the best Noah Beck interview known to man.

What were the highlights? What were the highlights of it? Well, it was so— What did he reveal?

Well, long story short, we did the pod with Noah, who is incredible. And Natalie— actually, it's all Natalie's fault. Natalie didn't hit record on his mic. Yeah, so the entire, the entire pod was scrapped and that's it. So we did send over Jason the pod.

Yes, um, technically you did do it.

Technically we did it, but we failed at doing it, which is why we need our technical expert Jason Nash.

Yep.

Who knew we actually needed Jason?

Who knew the 52-year-old man?

Yeah, who knew his importance?

Isn't my importance?

No, but it was such a good pod because it was like, it was the first time we like talked with— we talked with Noah a lot, like whether, you know, he's always around. Yeah, but like it was the first time I felt like I wasn't just talking about how hot he was. Like, it was, it was like we were like really getting down. We like, it was just like a deep, yeah, we got deep and it was like an interesting conversation about like social media. One of my favorite highlights from it. Let me just tell you, cause I can't play it back cause you won't be able to hear him. But we were talking about how like, and this is what I said on the pod. I said, one of my favorite things to see, and this is gonna sound really bizarre, is like a guy with like a really hot tight body.

Oh yeah. I heard that part.

Oh, you did?

Yeah. I almost took it out. I was like, I'm not sure he wants this No, no, it was David describing like, I just love seeing a guy.

No, no, no. Like, sorry, I think I skipped a couple of beats ahead. I was describing how I love watching Noah's content because it's so like aesthetically pleasing.

Yeah.

Like he'll wake up, he'll have avocado toast with a little bit of buffalo sauce on the side and asparagus on like a blue plate. And the picture's perfect. He has like a bracelet on. It's like a silver bracelet. And like maybe he's watching the Avengers, new Avengers movie in the morning and he has the Avengers title card on the TV. Like everything is so perfect and good. Curated with him where I'm like, I really love watching the stuff. And I like, and I was giving him his flowers for that. And I was comparing his stuff to like when I watch, like when I see a really, really well-built, put-together guy put on clean set of clothes. There's something about the layers of like a nice shirt that's straight, a nice pair of pants, like coming on real like snug right onto somebody that's like, has like the perfect build. That I absolutely love. Is nobody following me here?

I don't know. I don't really watch like guys' content like that.

Okay, I don't either, but I'm just trying to like, like really like Christian Bale American Psycho level of like cleanliness. Like just like clean. Like I hear, I don't know. I love it. Anyway, Noah said this interesting thing 'cause I was like, so do you do it? He was saying, he was trying to get at the point and this is where I helped him out. He was like, He was like, I don't do it just for social media, but social media helps me get there is kind of what he was trying to say. Encourages him to be like that. And he like couldn't put into words. And I was like, I know exactly the right comparison. And that's sort of like exactly the vlogs. Like we're not like we're not going out just to film the vlogs, but it encourages us to be more fun when we're going out. Does that make sense? Right. Like it encourages us to encourages us to do other activities and to do things. And the same thing with Noah. He was saying social media encourages me to live like a healthier, cleaner lifestyle and like make the breakfast, make the bed in the morning. And like, you know, even though I'm doing it for my content, it feels like it's improved my life. And it was a really interesting comparison because like, that's kind of how it felt like with the videos. Like, it's getting me out of the house. It's nonstop. We're doing activities.

Yeah.

And like, Now I don't make the videos and I don't leave the house. So I really like that comparison and that's why I enjoyed speaking to him. Other than that, completely missed the upload on the pod. I'm sorry. I got death threats about this thing in my DMs.

Oh my God. And we are giving 2 a week. Yeah, we do give Tuesday.

A random person DM'd me saying, you fucking pussy. I was going to listen to the podcast bright and early in the morning and guess what, bitch? No fucking podcast. I hope you twist your ankles. I would say the same about Jason, but he's old and probably won't make it if he falls. But fuck him too.

Oh God.

And this is from a person. His last DM to me was, it was a reply to one of a picture I posted on Instagram and he said, oh my handsome little one, I'd do so many things to make you mine and I'm straight, bro. Oh, so that's him. That's how much that guy liked me up until we missed that podcast.

I think what's interesting is we did have a full podcast ready to upload and then you guys deemed it not good enough to upload. So like, that's, you know, yeah, that's the way it goes.

I always ask Jason and Natalie like what the podcast is like and I know because, like, you know, they put it together. And I know that this is a very difficult question for them to answer because I hyperanalyze the fuck out of the next words that come out of their mouth. And if it's not like— if it's not an honest, it's great, then I'm like, let's scrap this podcast. And for some reason, you guys described the podcast we recorded before, pre-recorded, as not the best. So I was like, just fucking scrap it.

No, we had a whole conversation. We're like, great, great. We're all on FaceTime. It was 1:30 in the morning here. I don't know what time it was in Ibiza. And then finally, at the end of a 15-minute conversation, Natalie goes, goes, well, it's not great. And then David goes, that's it! He goes, why did you fucking say that? Yeah, yeah. Like, and then I just hung up. I was like, okay, we're done.

Yeah, we'll just—

I mean, it was such like a mismatched, you know, like David and I started it. David literally opened it being like, you guys, you should probably skip this one.

Yeah. And Noah Beck remained in that pod for sure. Go for it. It was, it was so good. And, and Noah was so great in it. But anyway, yes, so we just got back from Bangkok.

Uh-huh.

And Ibiza.

Ibiza.

Incredible.

We went to Ibiza after Jason left Bangkok, and then went to Ibiza. Ibiza is not what I expected.

Okay.

Um, I thought it was gonna be like all partying.

I feel like we did a very like different side of Ibiza. Like, okay, we were like more—

we were museums.

Museums.

We weren't the brand, so it would like the house— there was like a house, it was like a creator house, and what they were doing is they were like cycling different people out every 2 days. So me and Noah came on the same day and we were there for 2 nights and then new people came in, like a lot of Spanish, like musicians, influencers were there. It was a really fun group of people and people that I've never met before. So it was like fun to get to know them. It was like a group of like 30 of us. Everybody was incredible. They were so nice, but we weren't like getting shitfaced. It was like hanging out by the pool. Then we'd have a boat day.

There was a padel tournament that David partook in and won, of course.

Oh, did you really?

I won.

Congratulations.

Yeah, it's pretty sick.

What is padel again?

It's like pickleball but off the glass.

Yes, yes.

So I won that. That's not a big deal.

But there was a lot of activities. The house was not in— like, in town is where all of the clubs and all the nightlife and all of those people are. This house was on the other side of the island, which is gorgeous, beautiful, but more remote, more relaxed.

Yeah, in the wilderness.

Was it crowded?

Not where we were. I mean, you had to like drive up a dirt road for like a solid 3 minutes just to get to the house.

Nice.

So there was nobody there and like it was like a big plot of land that had the most beautiful— it was just incredible vibes.

And where was Zane and Ilya?

Um, we were at an Airbnb.

They only had one extra room. I remember I got to the, I got to the, the house where everyone was staying at and it was like 1 AM we landed and my AC wasn't working in my room and it's really hot in Ibiza. So I was like, it's not working, I feel really bad. I don't complain about AC, but it's really hot in here. And then the fucking The worst thing that could happen is like the guy that owns the house came down from wherever he was staying, probably two houses down, and he flip flops, totally flip flops, shorts, oversized shirt, just got yelled at don't speak a lick of English.

Yeah, yeah.

Just got yelled at by his wife. Now he's gotta help you.

Comes over, he fucking puts his hand up by the AC vent. It's blowing a little bit and he's like. He says something in Spanish and I go, fuck. He feels it blowing.

Yeah.

I'm like, this is on for here.

Yeah.

I was like, okay. I'm so sorry. I'm so, so I felt so bad because like this poor guy fucking came up, probably woke— I don't know. And then the next morning I was— I woke up at like 10 in the morning and I went to go play padel by myself. So padel is where you're like bouncing it off the glass. So like you smack it at the glass.

I like how Natalie said padel.

Padel. Yeah, yeah. I guess people call it that.

European.

But it's just me on the court by myself. The court's like a good, I don't know, 3-minute walk from the house and it's part— it's on the property. Great. And it's just me playing by myself and I like give myself a lob to like smack on the glass, like right behind me, like really fucking hard. And at the same moment I smack, I don't, I don't see who's behind me, but he's walking. The same house owner is walking right by the house or right by the, right by the glass. And the ball lands like on the other side of the glass, but like directly in his face. And he like, whoa, he like literally falls back. Like terrified because it came right at his face. And he looks at me and just starts cracking up. He's like, this fucking guy again. So that was the worst impression within 10 hours of this Spanish man who was so gracious to rent the house out to this brand. Um, but yeah, other than that, we went to the club once.

How was that?

What was that? It was 10,000 people. What? Yeah, 10,000 people in one club. It's called Universe. I think it's the biggest club in the world. Fisher was DJing. He came from the ceiling. It was fucking wild.

It's more like a concert venue.

Yeah, it looks like it's more like a— yeah, like a concert venue, like the Forum or something like that.

Yeah, they have like an interesting thing that they had, they're like a private room in the back that like the brand got like access to. And like you come in and you're given like a golden membership card in exchange for your phone, which is really cool. So they take your phone, they put in a cubby, and you can go into this private room.

And what's back there?

No, we got there early for a visa, so there's, there's a private DJ there. Yeah, but we got there early, so there's no one there. We got there at 2 We got there at 2 AM.

Oh, wow.

And clubs there don't close till like 11 AM.

They got food at the club.

Did you hear what I just said?

The clubs don't close until 11 AM.

11 AM.

Yeah, that's crazy.

No, it's fucking insane.

How late did you stay?

2:45.

Yeah, that's nothing for you guys.

Nothing. And yes, they have food there. They have burgers and stuff.

I have new respect for you guys. Trying to party with you in Bangkok was just— it's so hard.

Yeah, I don't know how you do it. You were actually really good about it. You're like really You really tried to, like, stay out with us, even though I had no idea why you were doing it. I was like, "Jay, you can go home." And you were, like, really battling to stay out till, like, 2 in the morning when I knew we were going to be out till 6. I'm like, "Jay, if you're having a tough time at 1:30, just fucking call it. We have another 4 hours we're going to be at this club." But Jay was like, "Dave, is it okay?" You didn't even ask if you could leave, but you were just like, "Dave, I'm trying, okay?" You really wanted to make it clear that you were like, "Hey." I'm like, "Dude, just go home. We're just hanging out." beat.

I was so beat after Thailand. I actually slept and slept and slept and slept.

Uh, no, I'm pretty bad. I'm pretty bad. I like got a little sick towards Ibiza. We went like ATVing.

Yeah.

And fucking, we ate. We were first in line on the ATVs.

Okay.

Like there's 11 of us. And when I say ATVs, they're like 4-seaters.

Like dune buggies.

Dune buggies. Like 4-seaters. We were the first one leaving, leading the pack. It was amazing. Like no dust in your mouth. And then I made the dumb decision of wanting to drive, switch with Illya. So we had to pull over. I switched with Illya to drive, and now we're the last in the pack.

Everybody got ahead of us.

Everybody got ahead of us.

Yeah.

Which, if you're dune buggying on sand, you cannot— you could barely distinguish the headlights, the taillights in front of you. And we just ate all that fucking dust. I mean, like, layers of dust were on our face.

Oh my God.

It was really bad. So I got sick from that. So now I'm been battling that for 3 days. But yeah, other than that, Ibiza, incredible. Not what I thought. Not Mykonos. I wasn't a big fan of Mykonos. This definitely— yeah, this definitely topped it.

Way different.

You know what I've realized, especially with this European trip, is when I was growing up in high school, or when I was growing up, like, I played tennis as a sport. And excuse me for the language I'm about to say, but this is what people would say. Like, they, they called tennis gay, like, all the time. Like people would just nonstop— like everybody in high school thinks tennis is gay.

Yeah.

Like, especially when I grew up. And it's gotten so cool. And I know it's— I know it hasn't gotten cool. I know my perspective has just changed. But in high school, I was embarrassed to tell people that you play tennis. Do you remember that, Nat?

Yeah, I know. I remember it for sure.

Like, I was—

you loser going to tennis practice.

Yeah. Yeah.

Like if people ask me what sport I played, I said I didn't play any sports.

Really? Yes.

Because it was like—

you were good at tennis.

Yeah, really good at tennis. It was just like such a, like, a girly thing to play that, like—

Yeah, I mean, everybody— well, I think it's also just like where we grew up, because I had friends in the East Coast. Yeah, that, like, they played tennis. Like, I would go to camp with them and I was the only one that didn't know how to play tennis, and I was the weirdo. Like, I just think it's like a byproduct of where we grew up.

Like, football— that is kind of funny. Yeah, yeah, it's definitely like a Midwest thing to, like— yeah, I mean, it was literally straight up like sexism or racism towards the sport. Like, it was so fucking— so bizarre. And, and the same mindset, I was like trying to think, I was like, okay, how many other And other things have like things like that where I've turned my perspective on. And my middle name is a big one.

Yeah.

You know, I'm embarrassed about my middle name. Like people now, I've actually the last month I've accepted it as my middle name.

Yeah. You're going by it now, right?

No, I don't go by it.

You go by David Julian Dobrik, right?

No, my middle name's Julian.

You changed your Instagram handle.

But, but like in elementary school, Julian was like, your name is Julian?

Yeah.

Like I used to get torn apart.

Yeah.

But now I was in Spain. Someone asked me for my middle name and I said, I said Julian. I was like, oh, I have a couple of friends named Julian. It's a normal name, but I didn't know this as a kid. I thought I was a fucking alien. I thought I was a freak.

I mean, my name was Natalina, you know, like that one's fucking weird. So, well, no.

What's your middle name?

Noel.

Oh, right.

It's like lazy.

But no, but now, like, now that I'm old, when I was a kid, I was so embarrassed because, well, we just went to school with like such white people. So like if you had something that sounded a little bit different or a little bit like ethnic in some way, it was like, oh, you're weird.

But okay, but you can't blame it just on all white people because they hated tennis. So it's like kind of confusing.

I know, I'm just saying just for the name specifically.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. But like now tennis is like on the— tennis and like F1 are the very—

F1 was always cool.

No, race car driving. Oh, like badass. Yes. No, I'm just saying like in the public eye, I think it's more relevant. I mean, F1 now is like so fucking relevant. Jay, can I just say I'm really excited to see— well, listen, it's saying it wants me to insert a team, artist, or band here.

Is this about getting tickets somewhere?

It's about SeatGeek.

Fucking knew it.

The ad read wants me to come up with a team, artist, band, but how can I come up with any of those when there's so many possibilities? Yeah, and especially because they're all accessible on SeatGeek, guys. Any team you want to see, any sporting team, any band, literally anything where you could buy tickets, you have to use SeatGeek.

They want you to come up with a team?

Yeah, they want me to come up with your own team. They want me to name my own team the Doberkovanos.

Yes, the Doberkobernators.

The Doberkobernators.

Yes, it's a, um, it's a female—

all right, let me get back to this. With over 28 million downloads, SeatGeek is the number one rated ticketing app. There are more than 70,000 events listed on SeatGeek, including concerts, sports, festivals, and more. Right now you can get tickets to Beyoncé, Coldplay, Chris Stapleton, Lady Gaga, Lumineers, Weeknd, Tate McRae, Morgan Wallen, and more. I mean, Jay uses SeatGeek. Soon you're probably gonna be able to buy tickets to Jason's kids' shows.

Pretty soon, yeah. You can buy Great Big Cow tickets now.

Really?

On SeatGeek, yeah.

Well, there you go. SeatGeek has your back, guys. Each ticket is rated on a scale of 1 to 10, so you know you're getting a good deal. So look for the green dots. Green means good, red means bad. Plus, every ticket is backed by their buyer guarantee. Get out of the house this summer or do something fun and use our code VIEWS10 for 10% off your next set of tickets at SeatGeek. That's 10% off tickets with promo code VIEWS10. Make sure you click the link in the description to download the app and have the code automatically added to your account so you can use later. Thank you, SeatGeek. I was thinking about us dating, Natalie. Like, not me and you, but like us finding a relationship. Yeah, have I said this, that it's, it's that like it's not possible. Like it's not going— it's just like we're just— you have— you have this and you won't be able to shake it. I really love it. I really like that Natalie thinks she can go to Chicago and find somebody. But I think— and I was bringing this up with all our Spanish friends— I don't know if this is an LA disease or a social media disease or a mixture of— I think it's a mixture of both. But it's just like, I think it's damn near impossible to find somebody because it's like you're always— You're always going to compare that relationship to the next.

No, I don't think so. It just takes—

I don't know. I don't know. And I know someone would be like, well, you live in a bubble in L.A. It's like, yeah, you're not—

you're not looking. You've got to really stop and be ready for it. That's all.

No, Jay, shut the fuck up.

No, I won't.

You don't get it.

I do get it.

No, David, it's—

it's— it's you. You have to be like, I'm ready for this.

No, there's so many great people I meet, but then I'm like, oh, this one thing's off. Gonna go see if I can find somewhere else. And then though, like, Nat, yeah, I know, I mean, I get it.

I obviously, like, I have the same thoughts.

So yeah, it's embarrassing to admit because it's pathetic.

It's not. That comes from you. You're the one finding something wrong.

Okay, fucking Willy Wonka. But it's— yes, it comes from me.

Look at me, I met somebody.

You met a fucking— a shooting star of a woman compared to—

yeah, so if I can meet somebody You can meet somebody.

No, you won the Mega Millions of women.

I get it, but I'm saying like, you should be able to meet somebody too. You will.

Okay, maybe. I also meet a hot 28-year-old.

Yeah, but I do think that there is like a little bit of like a sickness that comes with like this lifestyle, this career path, you know?

Yeah, sickness. You have a sickness.

I mean, yeah, no, I think—

Okay, well said.

Yeah, it's fucking whack.

Yeah, but I would like for sure, like I'm, This man on this trip— I met a man on this trip in Ibiza.

Really?

He— can we say his name? Because it probably adds to it when we say his name.

His name was Hugo.

Hugo.

Hugo. When she says she met a man—

does he really say Hugo?

I didn't even meet him. I don't even think I said a word.

She fucking was just like, like, literally gawky. What do you say?

I was just googly-eyed.

Googly-eyed. Yeah, she's googly-eyed. Yeah, like all trip. Okay, this guy was so cool. He was jumping off cliffs.

So hot.

Going way too fast on jet skis.

He was like a friend of someone from the brand and he was working on the trip. So he picked us up from the airport. We got to the airport. It was these two Spanish men picked us up, took our bags, whatever. And they, they like really only— I mean, they were bilingual, but they spoke Spanish. And Zane was like, oh, Natalie's going to be in trouble. Like, she's going to be getting with every man on this trip.

Yeah, we immediately renamed the group chat to Natalie Getting Railed by Three Spanish Boys. So funny because we're like, okay, this is like Natalie's like sweet spot.

Like, I mean, that is just my type to a T. Yes. And so he picked us up from the airport, whatever. And I didn't think I was going to see him again. And the next day he's in charge of all the activities. He's like wheeling on the, on the, on the dirt bikes. He's jumping off the 100-foot cliffs.

Oh my God.

Everything.

Just for fun. Not for social media or anything. He's just that type of guy.

Yeah.

He's just like, he's just like a local. He just like does everything.

Yeah. And he was honestly like, he was like the perfect combination of two of my exes.

Yeah.

That I was just like, oh, like, he was just my type to a T.

And what happened?

Did you speak to him? Well, David and Zane and Ilya all kept making it so fucking awkward. They kept going to like all the— all of the— everybody, just everybody. They were like, Natalie has a crush on Hugo, whatever, you know, whatever.

You're being so dramatic.

No, you were literally spreading like this rumor.

No, I wasn't.

Yes, you. Everybody by the end of the trip was like, how did it go with Natalie and Hugo?

And I'm like, how did everyone know this? They knew because the last night I was like, I'm gonna go up to Hugo and talk to him for Natalie. Like, it's the last night.

So embarrassing.

It's 2 AM, we're getting ready to go to the club.

We're literally walking onto the bus.

And I'm like, Nat, I'm gonna go up to him. And she's like, no, it's not the right time. I'm like, we leave in 7 hours. This is the only time.

I was like, it's not gonna happen.

And then I was like, is there any chance you can have sex with my friend Natalie?

No, what did you say though? I wasn't there. I ran away. I was so scared.

She ran into the car.

What did you say?

I said, listen, I don't remember what I said, but it was along the lines of like, my friend is super interested in you. She thinks you're like one of the coolest and cutest guys.

Okay.

Is there any chance that—

Coolest and cutest? This man has no idea I exist.

And he was really humbled by it. And he like had like the most charming smile. And I could just tell, I was like, you have a girlfriend, don't you? And he's like, yes. And so that's where it stopped, is that he had a girlfriend.

Even better. And he's respectful.

And then we had another kid that was driving us home the next day. Right, like the next morning, literally like 8 hours later. And he's like, how did it— it was just me and him in the car. And he's like, how did it go with Natalie and Hugo? So like everybody did know about the trip. And I'm like, it didn't go. He has a girlfriend. Um, so it was really close, but it's unfortunate. But you— do you think that that was your guy? Like, do you think that there would have— there was no way around?

I don't know. There's a part of me that's like, that I want to like fulfill that fantasy of like, oh, you meet like I meet some Spanish guy somewhere and then I'm like, I just fall in love and there I am moving to Barcelona, wherever the hell he's from. Do I think that's realistic? Probably not. But if in another life, I guess. I don't know.

I don't know.

But at the same time, I also have this, I'm like, you should just do what you want to do. You live one life.

Yeah. That's exactly the mindset that's not going to get you married, I think.

No, I need to just go. See the man, lock in, run away.

You can't run away from this.

I know, but like we said before, this is the fucking, like, the golden handcuffs, you know?

There's no relationship anymore that I see— like, even when I see people married, I'm like, oh, interesting, like, in 4 to 5 years they won't be. I don't even look at relationships anymore, and I'm not even being pessimistic. I'm just like, it's pretty pessimistic.

It's really pessimistic.

Super.

But just doesn't it feel like it though? Like, I'll see like a young celebrity couple married.

I'm okay.

There's no fucking way.

That's so different.

We're going endgame. Oh, what do you mean?

Like, I don't— I, I, I, I could see that for like a celebrity couple, but I think—

I agree.

But I don't think that about like normal— like, I look at my friends that are married, I'm like—

I'm speaking on, on, on our LA lifestyle here. I'm speaking on like people in Los Angeles, in the entertainment world, whether they're at the top or the bottom or somewhere in the middle. I'm speaking on behalf of those people from my perspective. So don't get mad if you're from Ireland and you're like, I'm happily married, 14 years. But yeah.

Yeah, I don't know.

Which I know, like I was saying earlier, it is a bubble we live in. Doesn't everybody kind of live in a bubble?

What if you just find someone in the bubble that's down to ride that bubble with you?

It's just, Natalie, Natalie, what does that mean? What did you just say?

Okay, fine, fine.

What are you saying? To ride what bubble with me? To make a relationship last forever. I haven't been in love for a while, so I'm sorry if I'm sounding like Jason and being a little bit pessimistic, but like, I want love forever. And if I'm having hesitations of it working, I can't make it work. I am also the problem and contributor.

Yeah, but why?

And the person that doesn't want the problem to exist.

I just don't agree with you putting so much stress on the forever thing. Like, the forever thing just happens. It just comes. Like, yes, you make the commitment, and you do everything to like make sure that that happens. But like, if you're in love and you like the person and you're enjoying your time, just like go for it, you know?

Yeah. Okay.

Yeah. And then once you're in the relationship, that's a whole other thing. Then you have to work at it and you have to like really put in your time.

And it's so funny also, like you probably—

there is always going to be someone that is more beautiful, more rich, more successful, like no matter what you do. So you just have to like give up on that like mentality.

Yeah, but when I went to Mike's wedding recently, one of the women outside, she was like a 45-year-old woman. She just recently got it. Or like a 55-year-old woman recently got divorced. She's like, the only advice I have for you ever is don't settle. And I think like, oh, I think that's pretty good.

Yeah, that is good advice.

I think.

Yeah, I don't think you should settle.

I know, but like, you kind of just gave me the vibe where you're like, fuck it, I'm going to move to Barcelona and this is my new life. 'Cause you only live once.

You could go to Thailand and do big wife, small wife.

Oh yeah, we found that about a month ago. What is that? Yeah, we were hanging out with some Thai people.

Yeah, who were great.

Who were incredible.

Yeah.

And he was telling us how he's very fortunate.

Well, we asked, we were like, you were like, are any of you single? And they were like, meh, it's complicated. You know, in the Thai culture, you have big wife, small wife.

Yeah, yeah.

So he currently has, did he currently have a big wife or small wife?

He currently had a big wife.

I don't think he can have a small wife and not have a big wife.

Okay, right.

So you got to get the big wife first.

So it's like main chick, side chick, but they're both considered your chick.

It's like more respectful.

Yeah, more respectful.

And big wife knows about small wife.

Yeah, she's fully aware. She knows things are happening. She might not know who the woman is, but like, you always have to respect big wife. She gets treated the best. She's—

and you always go home to big wife.

You always go home to big wife.

Oh, really?

Yeah.

Matt, could you ever be small wife?

No, but I could be big wife.

Small—

could you be small husband?

No, no. Small wife have to—

small wife have to do what?

Why are you talking like you're Asian?

No, no.

Small wife have to—

have to follow the proverbs. Does small wife have to be loyal to you?

Small wife.

She does, right?

I don't know.

She can't go— she can't be multiple people's small wife, right? Because that I could see. Then I could be—

I don't know. They didn't get into those specifics. It seemed like there could be multiple small wives that are also maybe temporary.

That's not like a— that's not like a thing that you would see where like You know what I mean?

Yeah, I mean, I'm sure they're just maybe following their own rules.

If you guys—

if you guys are just cheating, yeah, and that friend group that we were with just so happened to make up small life and big life.

Have you guys ever met a truple— a truple? A thruple?

We went to a thruple wedding.

You did?

What?

It didn't actually end up going through, remember? It got canceled.

Oh my God, we did! Yeah, we did. So our friend who— have we ever talked about him?

No, but I don't think you need to. I don't think you need to say who he is.

I know, but isn't it like so interesting?

Like, yeah, but like, I don't know if that's— I don't think— like, you weren't supposed to tell people we were at a throuple wedding. Like, it was very much like a private thing.

Okay, well, okay, we went to this thing. Yeah, in the city. Yeah, that was really fun. I don't— I can't say where it was. Okay, just to keep this guy's privacy. This dude Can I say how much he owns of what?

No, I don't know if that's important. Why don't we just talk?

Why is that not important?

No, no, that just gives away who he is.

I don't want to give away who he is.

No, fuck it, I'm gonna say it. Who's gonna give away who he is? There's a lot of people that are like this. I'll undersell it. He owns 10,000 bitcoins.

Okay, okay.

I thought you were gonna say something else.

Oh yeah, yeah. Oh, okay, so I could be specific about this. He owns over 30,000 bitcoins. Yeah, yeah, like Do you know how much that is?

Yeah.

Each Bitcoin's worth $100,000.

Yes.

Man is loaded. Like, like, like a loaded that nobody has ever seen before. I've ever seen.

Right.

Well, we went— yeah, we went to his wedding. He was marrying two girls.

He was in a relationship with— he started seeing this one girl.

Yeah.

And that girl was seeing another woman at the time.

Oh.

And so they decided to just bring it all on home together. And they were in a relationship for like a year. And this guy has like a lot of money. There's, you know, this is like I don't know, it was a very interesting situation.

A lot of money is an understatement. This is Bitcoin money we're talking. Like, this isn't like he has a company and has, you know, the net worth because his company's so big. This is liquid. This guy has this many coins sitting in his fucking wallet. This is top fucking top, top level of moneymakers.

Well, how is that liquid? If you have all those Bitcoin, he could pull it out immediately. You can pull it out whenever you want.

Yeah, right, right, right. I think you could sell 30,000 coins.

Um, but we— so we ended up— and they coordinated this whole extravagant thing. They flew everybody out, put everybody in hotel rooms. Yeah, massive wedding ceremony, massive party. It was really cool.

And then flew people out on jets.

Yeah. And let me guess, it didn't work. All that money—

not even that it didn't work. The day before the girl or him, I don't know who, someone decided they don't want to go through with it.

Oh my God, I think it was him.

I think it was him. I think he decided this is probably not a wise idea for me, right? You know, to get into this relationship.

You flew there and then the wedding got canceled?

Yep.

By the way, 30,000 Bitcoin is $3.5 billion for those people. Yeah, at home, $3.5 billion.

So we knew going into it that it was canceled, but he was like, you know what, I already paid all the money.

Bitcoin than— I'm just gonna keep talking about this. And he's more Bitcoin than that. I just didn't want he knocks him.

Okay, okay.

This is like— I'm sorry, but this guy like really does.

We got it, Dave. He's rich.

But we both—

oh my God, how rich is he? And it's like, sorry, they would marry him.

Sorry, I was kidding. I'm being serious. Like, when you have that much, yeah, like it makes you think like you could just sit with him somewhere and be like, is there any way you could just send me $100 grand? Yeah, I guess. Anyway, because it's nothing for him. Yeah, I mean, like, such nothing. Do you know what I mean? Like, how can he even value it?

So, so what happened? You, you get to the wedding and, and you— they had the party here.

Shut up, I'm having a breakdown.

We get there and the wedding, everything's already going on. So what they decide to do, they decide to make like, make it fun or whatever. So everybody, you could go up there with a friend and get like married in air quotes. So they had the pastor and all this stuff. So David and Ilya went up and they got married.

Oh yeah, yeah, yeah.

Like fun little things like that, whatever. And then they still threw this big awesome after party.

Were the girls there?

Yeah, everybody was there.

Oh, the girls were not there.

Oh, they left?

It was just him. Yeah, the girls didn't attend the wedding weekend. Maybe one of them did. I'm not sure.

They would have to be devastated.

But it was incredible. And then the after party was at a villa. But why did you ask us? Have you met a throuple?

No, I've just been seeing it a lot on TV and stuff. And I'm like, oh my, is this a thing?

Do you think you could be in one?

Um, yeah, sure.

I guess it's easy for like—

Yeah.

So you think you'd have another man date you and Naveen? Yeah. See, there it is.

Yeah.

Isn't that so funny? No, no, it's just like automatically assumed that it's like with another woman.

No, wait, let me, let me retract that. That's no way I would ever, ever, ever.

Oh yeah, because now you know you're gonna get in trouble.

No, it's not.

You just said no to the man and now you're like, wait a minute.

Well, no, now I'm thinking about it because Naveen and I were talking about big wife, small wife, and my whole thing was I mean, just dealing with one wife is a lot.

Yeah, but I think, you know, yeah, okay, but I think like then she has a friend. I think you may actually have to deal with her less.

No, then there's another person you have to worry about. And what happens, do you sleep in the same bed or like what? It's just—

no, you don't.

And then just if— because I can already tell in a relationship if like something's wrong with one of the people, already two people, you— they have to be good. And then adding that— yeah, you're right, such a variable.

You're right. And there's definitely going to be moments like even with Ilya and Natalie, like there's weeks where I'm like not I kind of despise Natalie. And then there's weeks where I despise Ilya. Do you know what I mean? Not despise, but like, where like someone's getting better treatment than the other because like I'm mad at another one or something. So yeah, I feel like that would be the problem. Okay, so we figured it out.

No throuples here.

No throuple. I am open to the idea, by the way. I want to put this out there. I've never done this, but like, listen, if you want to marry me and you have 30,000 Bitcoin, I'm totally down for it. I'll even be small wife. No, but if you like, I was, I was uploading snaps the other day and I was just like, I saw like a really nice Aston Martin. It's like a baby blue one. And I captioned it, I'm going to buy this for my wife one day. Hate to throw the money thing around here, but yes, if you marry me, I will buy you a beautiful car.

Whoa.

An Aston Martin.

I know it's come down. It's sad that it's come down to this.

Yeah, it's giving desperado.

It's giving desperado. Would it be Matthew? A convertible. First wife wins a convertible.

I saw your Snapchat the other day. You posted something really interesting.

Dude, I have—

I really liked it.

I snap every day, 100 times a day. Yeah, around.

Yeah.

And for the last 4 days we were in Ibiza. I was just off my phone. He was like, are you doing— are you snapping? I'm like, no. Yeah, he's like, what are you just fucking—

he posted like a beautiful shot of a boat and water.

I knew it would work.

And it's— and it said, it said taking some time to myself, trying to be a human being.

Shut up.

But stick around to the end because Zane's pretty funny. Something like that.

Oh, you saw that?

Oh, are you recording this?

I'm not like ranking on you. I think it's— I think it was great.

I wanted to see how long I can record the boat for and the sunset. I wanted to post like an hour-long snap of just the sunset going down on the boat. It was long because I was like, yeah, yeah, but my arm was getting tired and Natalie and Zane were behind me whispering I'm like, what is he doing? What is he doing? And then Zane got really loud where he's like, what are you doing? And I'm like, shut up. I'm trying to have people just relax. And I'm like, oh, sorry. I thought there was a spider on me.

Was that serious?

Yeah.

Yeah. Like one of my favorite things on TikTok is like when you're scrolling late at night.

Yeah.

This probably never happens to you, but like there'll be a TikTok that'll be like, okay, time to go to bed.

Are you scrolling? Like you should go to bed.

Oh, you get that.

It's not even that. Okay. That sounded more like Pornhub.

I haven't gotten that.

What? That was weird.

Hey, man, it's time to go.

Are you on Pornhub?

No, it's a— you don't get that on TikTok.

No, that was a really Pornhub voice because on Pornhub they go, are you jerking off alone again? And that's exactly how you said it. That's exactly how you said it. I haven't seen TikToks like that, but I have seen Pornhub commercials.

Okay, I think you're, you're projecting. Yeah, projecting onto me.

Do girls watch porn?

Of course.

Really?

What?

No, no, you watch porn?

What kind of porn would you watch?

Yeah, what?

Well, I don't want to get into it, but yeah, of course women watch porn.

Wait, how often?

Often.

And have you been getting ads for like transgender sex? I don't know why I get that all the time.

I haven't.

And it wasn't— it wasn't because I was in Thailand, because I was getting it before. It's like, there are transgenders near you ready for sex. And then I also— I get, um, I get— I get, uh, like, um mothers and grandmothers a lot. That's like another thing. I think I know why that is.

Because I search mothers and grandmothers.

No, because I'll get a lot of ads that'll be like, grandmothers nearby ready to have sex.

I've never seen that.

Fuck you.

I've never seen grandmothers.

You don't get like 40 grandmothers.

I've never seen that.

Okay, I think I know why it is. It's because if it was like a hot singles thing, yeah, no one would click on it because no one would believe it. But I think horny, more believable, I think horny grandmas will get more clicks because like really desperate horny guys will be like, I mean, yeah, this does seem pretty plausible.

A horny grandma seems right up my alley.

So I think that's why it's being fed to me because I have gotten to— I've become one of those desperate guys that I now need to watch horny grandma porn. Um, okay, so you watch stuff now? Like what do you want? Like what's the type of—

we had the one time David comes back to me after cutting me off.

Natalie, you deserve more time speaking here. Tell us more about this. The floor is all yours. Tell us about your porn.

No, I don't have anything to say.

Come on, dude, open up a little. Is it like girl on girl? Is it like— is it two guys, one girl?

It's a mix.

Wow, it's incredible. Do you ever watch funny porn? I can't do that.

Funny porn?

No, I hate—

what kind of funny porn?

No, I like— I like to watch things if they're like— like things where I could actually apply myself in that scenario.

Oh, like assistant? Yeah. Dirt, you go. Cliff divers, camp counselor, YouTube vlogger, slutty assistant. They're like really specific. Horny YouTuber fucking his manager.

That's really funny.

Horny YouTuber fucking his manager. It's really, really funny.

Um, what was your favorite moment last 2 weeks?

Oh wait, we have to fucking get off this porn topic. It's so fun.

I mean, I don't really want to hear what Natalie watches. I mean, what's she going to say?

Can I tell you what I don't like?

Take a guess what she watches.

I already know. Double penetration.

That's crazy. I don't think I've ever watched a double penetration video.

I think there was something once that I heard from Natalie that— that stuck. Yeah, I think she likes a massage thing.

No.

Or at least her Instagram was popping up massage stuff, right?

Naveen's Instagram popped up.

Yeah, but then I thought you said— oh, I guess that's your big wife, small wife, brother. No, that is, that is Naveen's. If you look at Naveen's algorithm, it's so funny.

The, the, the one porn I can't watch: stepbrother and stepsister.

No, you don't like that?

Fuck, it's so gross. I don't like— I think it's so fucking weird. Mom's out of town, it's disgusting. It's such a boner killer. I hate when I come across that, and usually the best videos are, are fucking— are that, like, thing. Also can't watch porn in a different language, fun fact. Only in Spanish. Oh yeah, I can't watch if, if it's a hint of European. Oh my God, one time, too much information, they were Hungarian. I'm Hungarian. Fucking freaked the shit out of me. You know how fucking scary that is?

Because you know Hungarian.

Yeah, I speak Hungarian. My mom speaks Hungarian.

Okay, yeah, brought it a little too close to home.

Way too close to home. I've never heard those words in Hungarian. Do you know what I mean? Like, I've only heard my mother speak to me.

What's that dirty word in Hungarian?

I don't even know. Feneka. It's butt. But, um, but yeah, so yeah, that's the type— that's where I draw the line. Yeah, like different languages, it's got to be— it's got to be Spanish. That's about it. That's all I can do. Love the Colombian stuff. Okay, that's it. That's enough. Sorry.

Oh my God.

What? This is like finally a topic that people need to know about.

Look at him. He's actually sitting up right now. He was fully laying before. Now he's sitting up.

I'm just like a big fan of like, um, just getting the job done by yourself. Not a big sex guy. Not a big—

I don't understand you, but okay.

Why? That I don't like sex? I just think it's so much nicer to get the job done on your own.

No one does it better than you.

This is why you don't have a girlfriend, my G. You gotta reshape your brain.

How do you not like having sex? Like, I don't get it. Like, when I have— like, if I'm—

yeah, because then you're stuck with that person there, and it's like, I gotta go shower. Yeah, you just feel gross. And like, if you had a girlfriend, maybe you'd like it better. Yes. Yeah, yeah. Like when you're in love, it's totally different.

I know what you mean.

I'm just saying, like, casual sex is just like, ah, I mean, yeah, I agree with that. It's just not really the vibe.

Yeah.

Is that fair?

Yeah, that's fair.

Okay, thank you.

I had sex the other night and I didn't even mean to. It just happened.

Oh yeah, that is how like being in a relationship is.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Then you feel bad.

What?

Why would you feel bad?

Well, like sometimes you'll approach, you know, someone's like— someone, my wife, is like not feeling great.

Which one?

Big wife. And she's not feeling great, so like it starts like, oh, let me like massage your feet and stuff, like make you feel better. And I don't have any intentions for sex.

Oh, interesting.

And then it develops into sex and then you're like, well, I'm here.

I used to have a situationship.

Yeah.

And this is making me sound like such a pussy. Actually, not really. It's pretty normal. I'd ask for back scratches.

Sure.

Back scratches. It's like marijuana. It's the fucking gateway drug though to sex.

Yeah.

All the time. There's no way to avoid it. It. There's literally no way, because you're getting a little back scratch. Yeah, all of a sudden back's not that itchy anymore.

Something else is itching.

You start kind of like turning around. It's just like, it's the gateway. It's every time. So yeah, I know what you mean. Okay, so yeah, I do feel bad. And then I'm like, and then I'm like, no, no, I just wanted a back scratch.

Like, yeah, yeah, yeah. And then after they're like, you, you did that, you set that up, you fucking came down here with— that was your intention the whole time. And I'm like, that's not my intention. I just That's— yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I don't know. Yeah, yeah, there you go.

Okay, that makes sense. That's really funny.

This is making me miss having a boyfriend.

Having a boyfriend. Yeah, we were on the— I guess Ilya's like— Ilya has a girlfriend, right? Have we talked about that? We've said that, right?

I think so.

Yeah, Ilya has a girlfriend. One day you guys will get to meet her. Um, but, um, we were talking about Bangkok with her.

Oh yeah.

And like, Ilya went to some clubs, right? Right. Like like, you know, like you do in Bangkok. You see some ladyboys, whatever. Bangkok activities. Yeah, yeah. What happens in Bangkok stays in Bangkok. But yesterday we were all sitting on the couch, and it was him and his girlfriend, John and his girlfriend, and Alex and me. And John goes like, so how are the clubs? He was talking to Ilya. So how are the clubs in Bangkok? And Ilya goes— there's like a long pause. And Aaliyah goes, oh, I don't know. I feel like that's like more of a question for Dave. I could not hold my laughter in.

That's really funny.

I was like, like, like maybe like the worst deflection ever. Like almost like something you'd see on a TV show where everyone's completely aware of like how horrible of a deflection this is.

What'd you say?

I just started laughing. I was like, you went to all the clubs with us. What are you saying? How were the clubs? Clubs. And he's like, well, I just feel like you're the club guy. And I'm like, you were there. John asked you that question. And I— and I— yeah, that was really—

remember at the club when the woman wanted to move tables?

When— what?

Remember when the woman wanted to move tables? We were sitting at a table and she was like, I'm gonna move you guys to— I'm gonna move you guys to a better table. And then I go, and I go, would you— oh, do you want some help moving everything?

Oh, that was so good.

And she goes, yeah, sure.

Like that. She goes, that'd be nice.

Yeah.

Yeah.

So funny.

Yeah.

I don't know why that was so funny.

It was funny because all week we were like, you know, everyone was waiting on us like hand and foot.

Oh, right.

And it wasn't the answer I expected. So then I was like, oh, okay.

Because all week, like, like waiters in Bangkok and Thailand get like offended if you touch anything that they're like serving you with.

Yeah. They're like, please, please. No, no, no.

Let me do it. Let me do it. Let me do it. Let me do it. Take this off. Like, we're doing this for you.

She was the first woman to actually accept help.

She was like, yeah, that'd be amazing.

Thank you so much.

That was really funny.

I had something when I was on the plane when we were going out. They served food at 1 AM to the person behind me, and then they made me— I was asleep— they made me pull my chair up for the— because the person behind me wanted to eat. Oh, they woke me, and then—

wait, because you're, you're leaning, you're reclining, so their seat was also reclined, or their tray was also reclined, and then they ate again 10 hours later.

They woke me. I, I couldn't believe it. I was like, really? And I even said to her, I was like, really? Did she ask me to move my seat? And she's like, you have to move your seat.

Yeah, that's really weird.

So weird.

Also, going out—

etiquette with that is so bizarre though. I always get scared to lean back my seat. I never lean it back all the way.

Really?

I go 3/4 every time. I don't know why.

Oh, I always just throw that baby back.

Really?

Yeah. Everybody—

yeah, throw it back.

You're right.

When we just flew back from Paris, because that was our connecting flight there, Ilia got stuck in a middle seat.

Oh my God. Yeah.

Oh my God. You should have seen the group chat. He was fucking livid because middle seat from Paris is like no joke.

Was it 10 hours? 11 hours.

Yeah, it's really no joke. 11 hours middle seat. And he like the fucking group chat. If the FAA got a hold of that group chat, permaban for him. The shit he was saying in that group chat, he's like, I don't give a fuck. Bomb threat immediately, right now. Like, he really didn't want to sit next to— luckily he was sitting next to like a 14-year-old kid by the window.

Yeah.

And he was a fan of Zela and he and Ilya was just like, I'll give you $150 when we land if you let me switch. And the kid took it. Really? $150. Yeah. And then the kid's dad came up before they took off and the kid's dad was like pissed. And he told this kid, he's like, you better have gotten at least $300 for that. I would not be able to do that. I'm so bad at asking people to switch.

Yeah.

Like on the plane, like even like when like Natalie and I are in different seats, like I'm like so embarrassed to be like, would you switch seats?

Oh yeah. Like from one row to the next. Like, you know how like if you want to sit with your friend or whatever.

Oh, I'm so embarrassed.

I usually do it where I'm offering them a better seat.

Yeah, yeah, that's what we would do. That's the same seat, just further closer to the front.

Yeah, but I also don't— I don't think there's— like, in my head, I'm like, this person chose that seat for a reason. Yeah, whether it's aisle 3A or aisle 6A, they want to be 6, they want to be 3, they like the number, they like the aisle, they like the window. Like, it's very specific. So like, I can't— I don't know what their personal preference is, so I can't assume that I have the better seat. So that's why I get fucking stressed.

What do you think about people who get up and, and like they start exiting before you get up.

Oh my God, I think that is the craziest thing.

Oh, like people behind you? Yeah, it's fucking insane.

Yeah, I just saw a video of a woman doing that.

I think it's so weird. Yeah, because you're going to the same place.

Yeah, unless you have a connection.

No, but then they make an announcement, or like, or like they will make an announcement.

They'll go, we have some passengers.

Yeah, and then you stay in your seat and you wait for those passengers to leave. But like, but like, if the person just jumping one person ahead and they're not actually going through everybody, then I'm like, what are you doing? Like, either fucking plow through all of us.

Yeah, yeah.

Or just stay one person behind.

Yeah. And they start to go, but they only get like one, one or two spaces ahead.

Yeah. Or worse, when they like start to go and they realize that like I'm actually also leaving the flight. Yeah. It's like they just realized, oh yeah, wait, this person in front of me also wants to get off.

There's other people here.

And then they kind of— yeah, I know, I I really, really don't understand that.

Did you see YouTube demonetized any AI videos?

Wow.

Yeah, I thought that was a, like, a really nice play by YouTube. Like, that was cool.

That's so bold.

That is crazy.

Wait, like AI? Like fully AI?

Yeah, so anything that's AI will not be— they will not pay.

Wait, what? Yeah, fully AI?

Yeah.

So like you could have like AI segments in it?

I would think that if there's any AI segments in that video, it's— you know how YouTube is, they'll pick it up and they'll demonetize I don't know.

I don't know. I feel like that's like a push. Like someone like Ray William Johnson, I feel like uses AI to like make his videos. I know on TikTok, I think too.

I mean, like Zach King.

Oh, you mean like those cartoons he makes?

Yeah.

Oh, I don't know. Maybe.

Like if he's still like speaking in and doing his, like I could see if it's fully AI driven. Yeah, that's kind of crazy.

Like Bigfoot.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Demonetized. All right, well Dave, good stuff getting the podcast up. This one counts for Thursday.

Yeah, this is our, oh yeah, we'd never even said that. This is our Saturday podcast, but it's our Thursday podcast. So we're still gonna have 2 new ones next week or this week. So don't worry. Sorry about the late upload. Won't happen again. Just kidding.

Probably it will.

But we'll see you guys soon. This has been a Views podcast and see you later.