David Goes to Paris With a Supermodel

What's up guys, welcome back to Views. Nat, can you, can you sit up?

Did you get nipple piercings?

Just rock hard, dude. She gets horny during the podcast. She like can't help herself. The second she goes, what's up guys, welcome back to Views, like bolt out like little lightning bolts.

We all get hard.

Everyone gets harder in the intro.

The audience too. If you read the comments, it's like, can you— yeah, everyone gets turned on.

Everyone says— I've heard Spotify has to implement an option to skip the first 15 seconds so you don't hear my views, so you don't get a boner at work.

So sexy.

What's up guys, welcome back to View.

Oh yeah, say it again.

Millions of people all across the world orgasming right now.

There's 10 babies were just conceived.

Jay, this week I wanted to tell you where Natalie and I are going to one of our favorite trips of all year. We're going to Cannes France.

It's kind of like our big yearly, like, trip, right? Like, if we—

yeah, I think I saw one year you were there with like maybe 100 people when DaBaby was performing. It's like that, right?

That's incredible. All right, here, let me explain this to you, cuz this is interesting. So every year there's this thing called the Cannes Film Festival.

Yeah.

And it's like where you see Brad Pitt on these like beautiful red stairs, and like everyone's dressed up really nicely. Everybody's in France, whatever. It's like, it's a very, very nice thing. And then a week after that is Cannes Lions, which is the advertisement festival. Oh, wow.

So it's very similar to the film festival, but it's not movie stars. It's CMOs and CEOs of every fucking company in the world in the most beautiful part of the world.

Yeah.

So, and this is like a lot of their time to let go. So a lot of these people that like started like fucking Uber, Lyft, all these like important people in the advertising space are all just getting fucking shitfaced and hanging out. So like for you to get a meeting with 15 people in one day is very easy. Like important people, where else in LA would take you 10 months to go through all those meetings and like those people getting on the call with you is impossible. But everyone's staying in like the same 10 hotels and in the same area.

Oh, so fun.

It's really, really fucking sick. So you're getting FaceTime with all these great people. So the first time I went was when we went to Mykonos and I got to my Mykonos hotel. You know those rooms that are like, it's like a pool and it overlooks the ocean? It's like in a cave. Yeah. I didn't know they weren't heated.

Yeah.

I drew the line there. I was like, this is freezing. So I was like, I got to get out of here.

Yeah.

So everyone stayed in Mykonos, and I by myself, I never do this, went to Cannes to meet up with my one friend who works at Snap. Loved it. Yeah. Had the best time. Met Naomi, Naomi Campbell.

Yes, the Naomi Campbell.

The Naomi Campbell, who's like a great supermodel.

The supermodel.

The supermodel. We hit it off. She invited me to Paris.

This is so crazy.

Yeah, so Naomi Campbell invited me to Paris.

I was her guest.

Really?

Christian Dior show.

I sat next to her at the Christian Dior show.

Row with Naomi Campbell.

5 days later, and like, her, like, manager person was like, Naomi doesn't do this often.

This is really bizarre.

I'm like, yeah, this is weird too, but I guess I'm going to Paris. So like, that was a great connection.

Yeah.

Then I got to meet Jared Leto there.

Yeah.

Who was like the sweetest and knew way more about me than I thought anybody would. So I sat with him at dinner, talked to him. He was very nice. And this was the first year I went to Cannes, which was like, what, 3, 4 years ago now? And why it was so interesting was I was, I think at the time, like the only influencer there, right? The only influencer. There was maybe like a couple others that were like very niche. Like they were like the biggest biggest in like cooking and the biggest in like family, but it was very, very not influencer-ish.

Yeah.

So like when I was there, I was getting a lot of fucking attention from big companies because like I was the only like creator there to speak to. And I kept calling out, I'm like, you gotta stay, you gotta stay. And I kept extending my stay in Cannes one day at a time.

Yeah.

And I ended up staying there for 4 days before I went to Paris with Naomi. Um, but, uh, but it was amazing. So Cannes happens like from like Monday to like Thursday. That's like the main days. And every day Spotify will have— they'd have big festival on the beach, and it's like pretty hard to get into, and everyone wants to get into it. And we're very lucky, the people at Spotify are great. Yeah, I mean, you know, that's where our pod goes. So like, it'll be like DaBaby, Dua Lipa performing on stage, and then it'll be— the one time was Kendrick Lamar. And this is like, it's literally like a mini Coachella just for like CMOs on the beach in the south of France.

Yeah, there shouldn't even be a stage there.

Like, how the fuck do they put a stage like on one of the most beautiful beaches in the world?

It's fucking—

it really is incredible.

Yeah.

And now it's more influencer friendly now because now I think people are like, are understanding its like importance. And like last year it was really fun. It was like Josh Richards, Jake Shane, Alex Rose, like all of us. We were the only ones at the Spotify thing and then we all decided to go get a table at one of the clubs there and it was like a fucking blast.

It's just like, it's so classy and so bougie, like the setting.

Yeah, yeah, it's incredible. It's so much fun with Naomi Campbell.

Yeah.

How did you even—

like, you're in the hotel, she hits you with the text, fashion show in 15.

Well, no, it happens. No, I was at a dinner. And Naomi was there and someone introduced us and we talked for like, I don't know, a couple of minutes, maybe like probably 10 minutes. So a little bit longer.

Yeah.

And we just had a good conversation. And then she was like, you should come to Paris with me.

And I was like, really?

I remember when David called me, he was like, so Naomi wants me to go to Paris with her. And I was like, Naomi, Paris? Like, what's happening? What are you talking about? And he was like, Naomi Campbell. And I was like, Naomi Campbell wants you to go to Paris?

I wasn't familiar with The supermodel scene.

Also the fact that it was the Dior show. Like, it's like—

That's something you would love to go to.

I mean, yeah, I was like dying on the other end. I was like, yeah, I want to go.

Yeah, it's really cool. So, Naomi and David Beckham.

Really?

What's a fashion show like? You like it?

I actually do like it. I'm not like a real fashion guy, but I love like, I love like the confidence that like, like a model on like a guy or girl model will like exude on stage.

Fashion shows are fun. It's short.

Yeah. And it's just like— and like the whole environment's like really fun. It just does suck. Like, when people talk about it, I don't really— like, I can watch it and actually enjoy it, but there's not much for me to add to, like, conversation about the outfits because, like, they're either great or they're just too wacky for my understanding. So I can't really contribute there. But I do love being—

Have you ever been— have you ever been invited somewhere and it's like an empty invite, but you think it's real? Like, in that case, Naomi Campbell might have said, like, you should come to Paris, but it, like, you know what I mean? It could have just been like something she says.

No, no, no, no, no. That's what I thought it was. And when I talked to her manager, I was like, is she being serious? And she's like, no, no, no. She's being dead serious.

Like, we're.

And then the next day I got a ticket, like, right, what hotel? Where do you want to stay? Or whatever, like, to help set it up and everything.

Yeah.

And it turns out to be really real. And this entire week I spent by myself, so it was like. It was like, a lot. And then I got to Paris. I didn't have any friends. Luckily, David Blaine was in town, so I got to walk around with him.

God, you're like.

He's literally the best. I'm sorry, I'm name dropping a lot here.

He disappeared in an H&M.

And then, so I like got to walk around with him, which is amazing. I've met up with him in Paris a couple of times, but he's so fun because like you'll be walking with him and like someone will come up to him and they'll be like, please show us a trick. And he's really good at telling people to put their phones away. He'll be like, here, this one's just for you. Just for you.

Here, put your phone on.

And then he shows them a trick and like I'm in fucking awe and like there's like he doesn't feel interrupted. I don't feel interrupted because I get to watch his trick. He loves to perform in front of people.

Yeah.

So it was the best. It was literally the best weekend of my life. And like some people talk about, like, Cannes Lions, like it's a work thing, but every time we go, I get really excited. But this time I am kind of nervous to go because it, for me, it's a lot of drinking. Yeah, I'm less of a meeting guy. I'm more of a— I want to have fun at these, like, fun little concerts they do.

Yeah.

So that'll be tough because I'm kind of not in my party era, but I will try. All these companies like MasterCard, all these, like, big companies will rent out these villas and they'll put on these events. So like last year, and it was John Legend performing in front of like 100 people, like, and I got to meet Wanda from WandaVision. Oh, and that was like a big thing. I was like, I don't think you understand like what a big deal you are. And I know you get this all the time, but like, you, you don't understand how much you mean to people like me. Yeah, she's like, she's like, you're right, I really do not actually understand. I'm like, trust me, it's big. She was very, very sweet. So like, you just get to meet all these like really crazy cool people on such a common ground type of thing. So it's really exciting. So that's what we're doing this Friday. So hopefully we have some cool stories for when we come back, some fun things.

You ever want to buy tickets to somewhere?

No.

Really?

Honestly, never, ever anywhere. I'm good here.

Have you ever met anybody that's wanted to buy a ticket, like to a concert or something?

Yeah. I mean, Alex, all the time.

What does he use to buy the tickets?

SeatGeek.

Obviously, that's what I'm trying to get at. SeatGeek is the number one ticketing app with over 28 million downloads. There are more than 70,000 events listed on SeatGeek, including concerts, sports festivals. Right now you can get tickets— just to choose a few— recently announced: The Weeknd, Kendrick Lamar, SZA tour, Beyoncé, Tyler, the Creator, Katy Perry, Morgan Wallen, Post Malone, Tate McRae. The list goes on, guys. I mean, I don't have to tell you about how much I love SeatGeek. They've been a part of our lives for so long. I love the people over there. I love the product. I stand by all of it. And while I can't buy you all new cars, I can help you with 10% off your next set of tickets on SeatGeek with promo code VIEWS10. That's 10% off tickets with promo code VIEWS10. Click the link in the description to download the app and have the code automatically added to your account so you can use it later. Thank you, SeatGeek. Again, guys, VIEWS10 for 10% off tickets on SeatGeek.

I'm on strike. No, I can't podcast today.

Damn it.

So that's fine.

Okay.

Take a break.

We're going on vacation anyways.

Yeah, we're good. I was gonna actually ask if we can take a month off.

Do you wanna know why I'm on strike?

No.

Okay.

I don't need to hear the reasoning. I'm sure it's private. You can keep it to yourself. Yeah, I'm down. Now, let's take a break. You want to go hit Jollibee?

Yeah, please.

Cinnabon.

Fine.

Why are you on strike, Jay? I'll fall into your little game.

I've not been paid for this month's views, David. I want you to stand up with me today.

See, I knew it was like a money thing for you.

I want you to call the agency right now. I want you to call Rhett and see where it is. Who's Rhett? Rhett is our contact at the agency.

All right, give me the phone.

Okay.

You want me to call because you haven't been paid?

Yeah. I used to work for them.

Wait, he emailed back. Did you read the email?

Yeah, he doesn't know where the payment is.

Yeah, yeah. But like, Brett is, first of all, he's just a poor assistant that works at here. We should not call and harass him.

Why not?

Why?

I think we should.

We have to get to the bottom of it.

I used to work for the parks department when I was a kid.

Yeah.

And I would come in on Fridays. I'd start with the mower and the guys would come over and go, fuck that. No, don't you fucking touch that mower. And I'd be like, okay, okay.

Why?

Why? He's like, we haven't gotten that check yet. No check, no work. So then we'd sit there.

Yeah, but Jay, I do this podcast for the people. You know, like I'm not fueled by money like you are.

I'm not fueled by money either, but I I just thought maybe you could get to that.

He sent like 8 angry emails.

Yeah, literally the most fueled by money guy I know on the entire face of Earth.

That's not fair. That's not a fair comment.

Yeah, it is.

I do so many things not for money. I help you all the time.

For money.

No, not for money. I do so many things.

But it'll come back, 'cause it'll come back to you. For money.

That's not fair. I'm always there.

For money.

That's not fair. I'm always there.

Hey, I'm here for the money. I'm taking my percentage.

I'm actually not here for the money. Do you guys believe that I like being creative and doing creative things that's not for the money? Do you guys buy that?

But you don't have a responsibility to 3 people.

No, no, no.

Actually, yes, you do. You've got Alex and John.

Well, I have a lot of employees that I'm responsible for. But do you believe the fact that I don't do things for money?

100%, dude.

Okay.

Yeah.

You didn't do this podcast for 2 years.

I just want to be clear.

We got it, Dave.

You got the message.

We got it. No, no.

But it's not—

I could be sitting in an Aston Martin right now. You didn't quit the podcast for 3 years.

Yeah, but it's not even that. It's like, I just want to be clear. Even if I didn't have money, I'm very lucky where I still have an incredibly stable income, but even if I didn't have that, I wouldn't do things for money. Like there'd never be a moment where like things would start dwindling in my bank account and I'd be like, gotta do this again. Is that clear with everybody here? I just wanna—

You're so cool because you're willing to just go back and be a teacher at Vernon Hills or— You don't have responsibilities.

I think I am cool because of that. Genuinely, I'm gonna toot my own horn here. And yes, I think there's something really cool about being a teacher of your own house to the extent where like, yes, money's not important. It is.

I mean, very important.

But I'm just saying I would never pursue something creative. You could find money anywhere. I would just never do a creative thing for money, if that makes sense.

Yeah.

Like, I mean, like, oh, the check's big. I'm going to do it.

I believe you. Definitely. 100%. 1000%. Believe you. It's just also like your perspective is so biased because you are so wealthy. Unfortunate, you know?

Right. Yes, I am like kind of humble bragging here. I will admit this.

I just want everyone to know what side of the creative process I am on here.

I do this pod because I generally wanted to do it again.

Yeah.

Jay, I don't care what your reasoning is. If it is to cover the mortgage, that's fine. More laughs for me.

I love doing the pod.

No, I know.

I know.

Of course I love it. I love it. I told you a couple of podcasts ago, I'm so happy. I'm so grateful.

No, I know.

But I'm just saying, like, we joke a lot about how like, it's like, thank God I can pay the mortgage now. I don't have to be on TikTok Live. And like, even if that was 95% of the reason for you, I'm all in.

I love that.

That's what I like about you. You're in it for the money.

Sometimes. Sometimes.

And I like that. I think that's really funny. And that's why I don't want to be attached to a bunch of people that are just doing it for the creative process.

That's lame.

I want people that are fueled by cash flow. And that's you.

Well, I mean, you have to admit you've benefited from that.

From you wanting to do the pod?

So check it out. Say when you met me, let's say I didn't have 2 kids and I wasn't divorced.

I probably wouldn't have thrown Taped to the wall.

Yeah, probably would have been taped to the wall. You know what I mean? I wouldn't have gone with you every single day and dropped everything else I was doing. You know, I'd made 2 movies by that point and like—

No, no, totally.

Didn't I just tell you how much I love it?

Yeah, no, no, I know.

No, I'm totally fine.

But I just want you to know that I'm not. Okay, call this guy.

What's the problem here? You want me to call this guy that works for us and you want me to be like, where's Jason's check for the podcast?

Yours too!

I don't need it. No, I'm kidding. Okay, give me— I'm gonna call him. Let me talk to him. What's his name?

Rhett?

Like Rhett and Link?

Like Rhett and Link?

No, I thought like— is it— is it him?

Yeah, it's not Rhett and Link. You're not calling Rhett and Link.

Okay, it's this number.

Say no check, no work. You got it, Dave?

No check, no work. I got it.

Pod's not going out. I will not edit Thursday's episode. If you're listening to this right now, that means David got through.

Here we go.

Tell him I got a white picket sign and I'm outside your house.

Hey, is this Rhett?

Yeah, it is.

Okay, this is David, David Dobrik.

Hey David, how you doing?

Good, good. Rhett, I've been meaning to talk to you. I'm sitting here with Jason Nash. He's—

Hell no, we won't work! Hell no, we won't work!

Jason is furious that there hasn't been a payment made to him.

I am working as hard as I can.

Don't you worry.

There's no pod.

Okay, Rhett, but he is, he's, he's threatening to leave. He's saying there's going to be no more pod.

No more pod tomorrow.

No more pod tomorrow. He's done working.

Say no check, no work.

No check, no work is what he's saying.

Yes.

And he is holding a sign right now, a picketed sign that says no cash, no work.

With my work ethic, Jason, I'll make sure that you're going to get paid. I'm about to get on the phone with Spotify to make sure everything's spick and span. You got my word.

Okay.

Ask him if the payment is indeed lost.

Is the— now he's asking if the payment is indeed lost.

It is not lost.

Don't worry.

We'll get it to you and you'll have an update ASAP.

Ask him how it feels.

I'm sorry, Jason. I didn't mean to make you upset. I apologize.

Ask him how it feels like being the big corporation beating on the little guy.

How does it feel, right? How does it feel to be the big corporation beating on a little guy? How does it feel stealing all the money from the hardworking people? He's saying sorry. Okay, we've tortured him enough.

Please let him go back to work. He's got to find you the money.

Okay.

Okay, Rhett, I'm so sorry for this. You handled it like a champ.

It's all good. Don't mind. Have a great Tuesday, guys.

Okay, you too.

Bye.

Okay, so there you go. She's gonna get paid.

All right, well, thanks for doing that, Dave.

Yeah, you deserve to get paid, Jay.

Thank you.

And if there are any more problems with the payments, you come right to me.

Also, I wanted to let you know, thanks for doing that.

Yeah, of course.

I wanted to let you know that I know that Amara is a big part of your life.

Yeah, my ChatGPT.

I built my own ChatGPT.

No way.

I did.

Is this what you wanted to do yesterday? But you said it wasn't ready yet. How is that even possible? How is it not ready yet? It's ChatGPT. Do you not have the app yet?

It was down.

What?

Hey, Jason, we're doing the podcast now. Can you say hello to David and Natalie, my co-hosts? Hey, David and Natalie. Hope you're ready for this chaotic ride. Let's make some podcast magic, champ style.

Wow. So you have, you've AI'd yourself?

I have AI me. So when you go away to Cannes next week, if you want to talk to me.

No. Should we do that in reverse? Should you have AI me?

Oh, fuck.

You're the one that's going to be by the podcast equipment and you just made a double Jason. You should have. Why did you not make a version of me, you dumb fuck? You're staying behind, Jay. You're not going to Cannes.

All right. Hey, hold on.

You're so fucking old.

It's so fast.

Okay, hold on. What do you know about David? Can you tell us about him?

Why are you talking like you're the AI?

David's a character. He's got that razor-sharp wit and a knack for making everyone laugh. Whether he's pulling off wild stunts or just hanging out, you can count on him to keep things interesting. Plus, he's a loyal friend who seems to find himself in hilariously awkward situations.

Jake, can I ask Jason AI something?

Sure.

So, I mean, it really does sound like you.

He says the word chaotic a lot, which I don't love.

Listening to it, I wouldn't even know the difference.

If you're talking to the AI.

Right.

Jason AI, can you show me how racist you can be?

No, I'm kidding.

Jason AI, how old are you?

Oh, you know, I've been around just long enough to have stories, but not so long that I remember where my keys are.

How about you?

He always has keys. Found any gray hairs yet?

He always has keys.

He always has keys.

Wait, this is—

He's not as good as Amara.

This is crazy that he sounds like this.

Dude, I'm looking at Jason's messages with this AI. I think it's really funny. He doesn't have that many.

Out of the 5, one of them says, can you say netherland?

Natalie is a bitch. Now you're really teaching this thing well.

Oh man, I think Natalie's way too cool for that. Let's keep it positive and celebrate the fun times together. What's one of her best qualities?

And then he goes, do you think Natalie is in love with David?

Oh no, that sounds like a juicy podcast topic. I'd say their chemistry is top-notch, but only they know what's going on behind the scenes. Do you ever tease them about it?

Dude, you should just like have David and Jason AI and just prop them to talk for 42 minutes, literally just see what happens.

Okay.

We'll do 3 episodes a week if we can get that done. Third episode is just AI David and Jason.

David, you're so chaotic.

Jay, where are your keys?

So people are starting to get back to me about, you know, our last podcast, how we like talked about me making these videos. And I was like, they're not vlogs. They're like the second channel videos.

Yeah.

Someone just responded really a minute ago.

They go, no offense, but the videos you're talking about making that aren't vlogs sound a lot like vlogging.

That's really funny. I mean, yeah. It's definitely— I think that's definitely what it is.

How's that coming?

Um, I don't know, it's like kind of confusing.

Oh yeah, also, you know how I nicknamed all of our listeners the Perverts?

Yeah, people have been really sticking to it in the DMs, and like, I think it's fine. I mean, it's really funny because people will message and be like, hey, long time Pervert here. Yo, so apparently our last pod we talked about some Ilia stories and everything has already been mentioned in other pods. Like, how fucking crazy and stupid are we? And it's so crazy because in the other pods, Ilia told a story about how he was robbing the store.

Yeah.

This time we bleeped it, even though a couple of months ago we didn't bleep it.

Oh, really?

Yeah. Then we told a story about Ilia jerking off on Omegle, right? Yeah. And that we didn't bleep this time. But years ago we bleeped. We stopped it because you said something like, our publicist doesn't want us to tell the story. Oh my God. So it's really funny. Our perspective on things have really changed. Jerking off on Omegle, go for it. Robbing Office Max, chill. So yeah. So guys, I don't know why we retell stories. It's genuinely like, I mean, I know why we retell 'em. We retell things here all the time. Like even in real life, like we'll be talking and Natalie will be like, pull up a vlog and we'll watch a vlog. Like it's literally our first time reliving it. And then we'll be like, and we'll say the most basic thing. Like, remember when you gave John a car? And then we'll be like, oh my God, yes. This is just how we interact in real life. So you're just going to have to deal with the fact that we retell them. Because when we're— it's not like we brought Ilia in here and be like, let's try to run a quick one by the audience and retell the story. It's genuinely, it feels like it's our first time sharing again.

Yeah.

Which is why it's so crazy when I see all the responses are like, dude, you've told this story 2 or 3 times. Which does this not happen on other podcasts? Is it just ours?

I know.

I can't imagine.

My favorite radio personality, he tells the same stories and they're so good. Oh, like Howard Stern will— he'll tell stories from his childhood, like, I've heard this before, but it's still— I don't know. So I don't mind it, but okay.

No, I think that's why— I mean, yeah, we'll try not—

we'll try not to double up.

It's impossible.

Rhett, he left me a message.

What did he say?

He was stoked. He was like, he's like, anytime you need me on the pod. He was like, we got it all cleaned up, the check's on the way.

We actually doubled it.

Yeah, he was stoked. He was like, and call me again. He's like, I'd love to be a part of it. That's an awesome message. It's so great when people roll with it.

Yeah.

Yeah, it's really nice.

Ilya's here right now where we want to talk about, like, our college days and how we came together and stuff. I'm fucking terrified. We've already talked about this because you guys know more about it than I do. But if not, just pretend this is your first time hearing it.

You guys need me?

Did you hear that every story we said on the pod we've already said before?

Yeah, but who cares, right?

Who gives a fuck?

Yeah, because we're like passionate about it.

Yes, exactly. That's exactly what I was thinking yesterday. Yeah, I'm pretty sure we've told that. Who cares? It's fun again.

Like, yeah, it's like a sequel. It's like Rush Hour 1, 2, and 3. Like, it's all the same guys. It's just, it's just skinned in a different city. It's the same thing. Jackie Chan's funny Asian guy, black guy's black guy.

He's a funny—

who's the black guy?

Chris Tucker.

Chris Tucker. Yeah.

Yeah. Well, thanks for having me, dude.

I heard a really good story. Am I allowed to steal stories from other people's podcasts?

Yeah, just credit them.

I don't know this guy, but it's this guy who was talking—

Joe Rogan.

There's this guy who was talking about how he was on set with Brad Pitt and George Clooney on Ocean's Eleven.

I saw this.

Wasn't it a crazy story? Yeah, yeah.

I can't remember who it was, but go.

Yeah. And he was like, this is the craziest I've ever seen a movie star do the movie star thing.

Yes.

And basically they're all standing in a circle. It's Brad Pitt, Clooney, and this guy. And this guy like wiggles his way in there because he's not as big of an actor as these guys. And Pitt's like standing next to— it's Pitt or no, it's Clooney. One of them is standing next to like 10 motorcycles. And the guy's like, what are these motorcycles for? And he's like, they're all for my friends as gifts. Gifts, but I'm gonna ship them to Europe and they have to fly there and pick them up themselves. So I'm assuming he's doing something to get all his friends to go on a European trip. Yeah, very sick. Love that idea.

Go Clooney or Pitt, whoever it was.

And then, uh, one of the ADs on the set like comes by and asks everyone for their, like, for their coffee order. And you could tell that she's like slowly starting to fangirl and almost lose it because she's talking to Pitt and Clooney and she's asking what they want for coffee. And Pitt's like, well, I want this. And then she goes, what about you, Mr. Clooney? And as she's saying like her eyes roll over and she like, she starts fainting and Clooney, without missing a beat in his story, grabs her, picks her right back up and continues the story.

Oh my God.

Like before she hits the ground, he's like, and then he goes, I'm all right, sweetheart. Thank you. And then he sends her on her way. Like, that's so cool. Like he was basically explaining like Clooney is so cool that he's gotten used to people fainting around him and it doesn't even like for a second, it doesn't derail him from his story. I love that story. I think that's so cool.

It is so cool. It's so crazy. It's so crazy to think that there are people that like reach that level of like—

yeah, Michael Jackson. Have you seen that Michael Jackson thing where Michael Jackson never like was able to go to a grocery store? Yeah, so his buddy who owned a grocery store like shut it down and had all of Michael's friends pretend to be the shoppers.

No way.

And Michael, Michael walked around without cameras like of him shopping and no one actually was harassing him for pictures until they started playing Michael Jackson on the radio over the speaker and then everyone What would you do if Natalie fainted? Natalie fainted?

Yeah, in front of you.

I'd bury her body.

Nat, get the fuck up.

Pretty stressful.

Really?

Yeah.

What happened?

It's a lot of restructuring in our company.

Really? I sent this picture today to Ilya and Natalie, and it was, uh, it was up for us 5 years ago today at our first Doughbrix meeting. So for like pizza. Oh wow. And like, if you don't know the Doughbrix lore, let me give you some here. Ilya was the CEO of Doughbrix. On accidentally mismanaged some of the funds, misspent some of the money on accident.

On accident, right?

Oh, all right.

But like, I spent it on the restaurant. It wasn't like I was fucking blowing money in Vegas.

Yeah, yeah.

So don't make it sound like I was like an expensive car on the driveway.

No, no, no, no.

It was a very expensive restaurant build-out.

Yes, it was.

You wanted a party time button, you got a party time button, my friend.

For a couple million dollars extra. So, yeah, basically, yes. So Ilya stepped down from Doughbrik's.

Yeah.

And recently, as of like a month ago, we got new CEOs. They're incredible. Ilya gets along with them. Ilya was— this is why I like Ilya, because Ilya is like, hey, I may have mismanaged some things here, so I'm going to step down. And he gave up his equity for these guys.

Oh my God.

Yeah, he's a real— and he put in a lot of work to make this restaurant work. And like, obviously, when this restaurant not flourishes and everything's actually making money because we're not spending $1 million on corn or whatever we were spending it on. Corn? I don't know what ingredients.

Corn and cheese.

Corn flour.

Let's backtrack. No, totally different.

Okay. Yeah. Long story short, Ilya is a great guy. That's what I'm saying.

Ilya is the best.

Yeah. Best at spending a lot of money. It's really funny. I sent him a picture. It's me. Holding a slice of pizza and it's Ilya with his thumbs up. And Ilya zoomed in on each of us and like gave us little quotes and he zoomed in on himself saying, I'm going to rob this guy of all his money. And then he zoomed in on me and he goes, I like pizza. From the outside perspective, that is how it went. Ilya didn't rob me of my money at all, but it definitely disappeared. I love when I see like videos and people are like, how is David making all this money? Yeah, and someone responds, he has Doughbrik's Pizza, you fucking idiot. Like, you dumb fuck, I'm $4 million in the hole for that thing. It's just because it's so difficult to make money off one, like, location.

Yeah, you can only make so many pizzas a night out of that location.

Yeah, but luckily these, these new guys are fucking crushing it. I think we're gonna start opening new locations soon, so that problem's gonna go away. Great. And we, like, problem with Ilya— I don't want to put him down again. But he hired so many people at like senior positions at Doughbrix. Yeah, they were getting paid like executive roles when it was just a mom-and-pop shop.

Yeah, right.

So like we had, we had someone getting paid $80,000 a year and they were getting paid like $180,000. They weren't even stepping into the restaurant.

No, they're stepping into the restaurant.

We were spending so much money.

Yeah.

Where it looked like we were running like a tech startup.

It was a lot of people.

Yeah, we were just making pizza.

The point of it was to—

and we're really, Jay, we would be fucked if the pizza wasn't doing well.

Yeah.

We're so lucky that we actually sell pizza. Yeah, that would really screwed. Um, but my initial investment was just, was just kind of all— it was all like Sims money for Ilya. And he was kind of just like, hey, I was learning.

It's my college education, dude.

I tried to run my business once. I ran it into the ground. I overpaid Ferris. I overpaid Jess. Then I was done.

It's tough.

It's hard, man.

It's so hard, especially because you like, you just like look at things and you're just like, hey, that person should be paid that much.

Or yeah, yeah, you're like, you look at the person, you're I'm like, they need to live.

Yeah.

So much of it is subjective.

But I appreciate all the time you put into Doughbooks is what I'm trying to say. And I knew you were the, you know why I knew you were the right guy?

Why is that?

Because I've just known you for the longest.

Thanks, man.

Really good selection process you have.

Yeah.

I like him.

Here's money, run my business. I feel like that's how I choose. Obviously, if you look at my portfolio of anything I've ever done is like, I choose to surround my, and work with friends. Like we had a company called Dispo. And my friends don't know this. Well, I don't know, I'll just tell them not to listen to this episode. But like, Mike, Alex, and John had nothing to do with it, but they secretly all— I gave them percentages of the company.

Wow.

Because like, in success, how fun would that be when they're like texting me like, yo, congrats on 100 mil.

Yeah.

And I'm like, well, you got 10. Like, that's so fun. So like, I really do love like having my friends do things. And Ilya is my closest friend because he was a crazy dude in high school, and I think from there I really got to like him.

That's how cool he was back then, right? Even random girls knew him.

Yeah, it was so weird.

Oh yeah, he was like a legend, I'm telling you. And I like, I would just hear stories about Ilya and I was like, who is this guy? He's a Gatsby.

Like what?

Like what?

Because this whole thing was like, we went to Vernon Hills High School, but for 2 years Ilya didn't go. Like his parents moved, so he had to like change the school district or something.

He moved several times.

He moved several times in different school. And there was one time where Ilya couldn't go back to Vernon Hills.

I don't know for what reason.

Oh my gosh.

Yeah.

I was just talking to, I was actually just talking to my friend about this actually. Freshman year I went to Vernon Hills High School and then I had to move, so they made me go to a different high school. And the Vernon Hills freshman class made a group on Facebook that was called Keep Ilya at Vernon Hills.

Yeah, I remember this.

And like a group of like 30, 40 people got together to go to the dean's office to complain.

After school.

It was like a Paddington moment.

Wow.

Yeah, it was crazy. It was like the town got together to, like, help Ilya. And I remember this was going on and I thought it was so— I didn't know Ilya yet and I thought it was so cool. And like, in my head, I remember this very vividly. I was like, I kind of want to go to this. I don't really know the guy, so I don't know what I'm fighting for, but I want to—

I just, like, want to be part of the movement.

I remember thinking that to myself and I was like, should I go or is it going to be, like, weird if I'm there supporting this cause? And, like, Ilya looks at me and he goes, who are you?

I think you rode your bike there.

I did end up going. Yeah, I ended up going.

You had already moved and they wanted to keep you in that school.

No, I was moving. I was moving the next year.

I think the place that Ilya moved, it was like he was one street away from the Vernon Hills zone. Yeah, so we're like, it's so easy, just let him do it.

The dean was being such a dick, such a dick. And like, it's crazy because what ended up happening—

did all the kids go to the office? And how did it—

all the kids went to the office. I was in the room with the dean, and the dean's like, I'm sorry, man, we can't do anything, whatever. So I ended up having to go. And then also what happened was my friend's mom— I will never forget, this is the coolest thing that I think, like, one of the coolest things that anyone's done for me. My friend's mom ended going into the dean's office, the other dean at the other high school, and she pretended to be my aunt. And she's like, this is my nephew and he lives with me now and he needs to go to Brent Hills.

And they were like, you're lying.

Yeah. And they like, they caught the lie, obviously. But like, she like really went to like great lengths.

She was in love with you.

Yeah.

Oh my God.

Yeah. Oh wow, that's sick. No, that school was really strict about like, like a lot of things.

They were really busy.

Yeah, I bet.

Yeah, I remember, I think we've talked about this before on the podcast, we used to— I used to be part of the crew, which is like the cheerleading team there. I'll beat you price of the joke because I know it's coming.

Um, it's the funniest backstory about you.

Yeah, yeah, it is absolutely the funniest thing for you. I would never talk about it if I were you.

Well, it's not— I wasn't a cheerleader.

It was cool.

It was like a cool thing to be part of the crew.

And I'm not just saying this.

Was it, Natalie? Was it a cool thing to be part of the crew?

I was right there leading the crew next to David. I thought it was so cool.

You did?

And you thought, David, it was cool that David was a male cheerleader?

It sounds like— so you had your cheerleaders Yeah.

Oh, I was part of the crew now.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Okay.

Oh, that's when you got in trouble.

That's when I met you.

Yeah, that's what I'm getting to.

Okay.

Okay.

And then so basically, so you have your cheerleaders and then you have the football team that's playing and then you have the crew. And a lot of the times the crew was like, it was me.

Natalie was a hot chick.

Ilya, legend. Yeah. And then it was a lot of the other players that were like basketball players or something.

Other jocks off-season.

That were off-season.

That wasn't their sport. So it was like a cool group to be in.

Got it.

And you were making like cool decisions and you're like leading.

What kind of decisions?

Like what color face paint we're going to wear or like where we're meeting.

What's the theme for the football game?

What's the theme for the football game?

Or like, or like, okay, we're going to meet at the parking lot and walk up and chant this. Like, that's what you would do. But like, this is, this is, I mean, this is like running the country at the time.

Yeah.

Like making these decisions.

Big stuff.

We basically found Bin Laden in this cave.

It's like this stuff we were doing.

Remember when you and I ran the flags out? The football team was behind us and we like went through the tunnel, ran the flags out in the middle of the field.

You're really making us sound like cheerleaders.

No, it was actually—

Remember when I lifted you in the air, Dave, and threw you up?

And you said, go Cougars, go?

No, it was actually really It was a sick moment.

Yeah, I know it was sick, Ill, but like, to people that don't understand how legendary that was, we sound lame. I mean, it was just like, dude, high school was the best time of my life.

Best time. You're not supposed to say that.

Best time. And I always knew this going in.

Like, people would always be like, you don't want to peak in high school.

I'd be like, you're a fucking idiot. Like, high school, there's no such thing as not peaking in high school if you do it the right way. High school is the best time. Best.

Nothing will ever be better than that.

I don't care what happens to me, my futuristic life, like I can make billions, millions, nothing will be as good as your high school days with your high school buds. Everything is maxed out. Everything is like, everything is so high risk, you know what I mean? Like doing the littlest thing is like, yeah, it's like the smallest thing is like you're fucking robbing a casino. Like everything's just so big. Your imagination is so fucking crazy. Talking to one hot girl is like having an orgy with 10 Victoria's Secret models. Like everything is like amplified. There's nothing better than being a kid in high school.

Nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing. I don't care what life you live, I don't care what singer and what band you're in.

Like, I genuinely feel bad for the people that missed out on high school. It's the best. And if you— and if you had a bad time and in high school and you got bullied, whatever, I really genuinely feel so bad.

What do you say to somebody that's in high school right now? They're listening and they're like, it's not going that well for me, Dave.

I don't know if we have high schoolers that listen, but like—

oh, we 100% do. One stopped me the other day with their dad.

Really?

Yeah, right, right on your street.

If you do— if you— if you are in high school, it's not going so well, you have to realize that high school is a subsection of your life that'll, like, be so forgotten and it'll be its own category. It is the one part of your life that doesn't really have to add up to anything ever. It's, it's only what you take away from it. Like, it could definitely affect how you see things going forward, but in a negative way. It's going to stay in high school. There's no, like, permanent record in high school. You do whatever you want and it just stays in high school. What happens in high school stays in high school.

So enjoy those moments.

That's like when you do trial and error.

That's where you try whatever you want to do, like, and just experiment with your life.

And then college comes. I have a feeling it's kind of the same thing. I didn't go to college, but it's also a little bit like that. Less freedom, I would assume, than high school, because now it's like now you're leading up to your adult life and now you're having more freedom. Yeah, but like I'm saying, like now you're making your adult friends there, I would assume. So like things will carry over. Like if you like get drunk and you run around campus naked, like that'll be like a thing that'll follow you more into the real life.

Are you sad you didn't go to college?

No, nothing. Nothing could have— nothing could have topped my high school.

High school?

Nothing really.

I mean, college is kind of like on par with high school in that sense, but you just have a little bit more freedom. Actually, a lot more freedom.

No, I couldn't do it. I couldn't do any more classes. Like, that's what, that's what did it for me.

Yeah, but college classes is like so different than high school.

Wait, didn't you guys go to like a college for one day and then decide against it?

We went for a semester, actually. It was the only class ever in my life where me, Dave, John, and Alex were all in the same class.

Yeah, it was crazy.

We got—

which, which is very rare. We're all in the same class, the four roommates. It took us till college freshman year. We went to community college, and the last test I ever took in college was my final. I got caught cheating.

I remember that.

And I've never gotten caught cheating. I was an expert. I got through every single year of high school through cheating. I've never done my own work. I got one of the highest grades in chemistry. I couldn't name a single element. I was just incredibly gifted at negotiating for paperwork from people, homework, tests. I had it all ready before I stepped into the room. I was very lucky. And I always thought to myself, if you could cheat, you can make it. That's part of life. If you could get the answers, that's the same as you being smart enough to get the answers. That's how I always looked at it. And yeah, and we were this community college class together and I got caught cheating. And I remember I told the teacher the stupidest thing. I was doing Vine at the time and I was like, I was just doing Revine for Revine. And she knew I was like making money from Vine at this point. And she believed me and she like gave me back my test and I finished it. I don't know what I got, but I was definitely cheating. I was texting Alex in the back the answers. I already finished, but I was texting him what I got.

Wow.

You had Alex then too.

Um, yeah, yeah, yeah. But yeah.

What was the final thing? Why'd you leave college?

Well, we went to ISU. We were gonna go to Illinois State University because our friends were going there. I wanted to go to Mizzou because they had a lazy river inside the thing.

I wanted to go to Mizzou too.

Yeah, you dumb fuck. You're the reason I didn't go. Ilya didn't get in. So I was like, so I was like, you didn't cheat enough, El.

Actually, which is crazy.

When I tell people this story, they go, your friend didn't get into Mizzou?

Like, it's like, is it hard not to get into Mizzou?

No, it's so easy to get into Mizzou.

Yeah, this isn't Ivy League school. This is just like a regular school. You have to—

very easy school to get into.

Yeah.

But no, I actually, my GPA was a 2.8, which is pretty dog shit, but it wasn't fucking horrible.

It's insane.

It's actually probably the worst because it's like you're trying, but you're not trying hard enough, or it's like, what are you doing?

No, 2.8 is very embarrassing. And like Mizzou had this really crazy rec center with the lazy river.

So crazy.

So I was like, I'm gonna go there. My friend showed me pictures.

I could not care less about what it actually offers you.

I looked at schools as like, where do the hottest girls go? And what did they have that was cool? Rec center.

Sold.

I'm going. Ilya didn't get in. So then we had to pivot to new school, ISU, something easy. Easier but still had the, like, the party lifestyle of Mizzou. And then are we like toured it or something? I don't know, what do we do?

Well, yeah, we toured it, uh, we got in, we were set, and then there's really one major catalyst, like, of why we didn't want to go to the college. The first one being is we couldn't get the room that we wanted.

Oh yes, we wanted like this 3-bedroom.

It was me, David, and our, our, uh, third roommate Jake, and, uh, we were super hyped. It was like 1,200 square feet, the last story on, on the building, whatever.

Yeah.

And then we found out that it was reserved for seniors. So we were like, fuck that, not doing that. Because then the only other option was like a small dorm room, which was not fun.

And then once we found out we couldn't get the room, we were like, fuck this, let's just go to regular community college because there's no point of being here if it's not lit room, right?

And I know it sounds crazy, but it sounds crazy, but it was— that was genuinely like 90% of our decision is like, wow, you can't get a cool room, fuck this.

I mean, it makes sense. So then we went to community college and we got a tour of community college.

Oh my God.

And I remember walking through with Ilya. We were like in a— like we followed like a line of like 10 other— 10, 15 kids and We were not vibing with the kids or anything. It's just like, we were just like, what the fuck is going on here? And I remember we walked out into the parking lot after the tour and we were just like both like, what the fuck was that?

We're like freaking out.

Yeah, we like lost our mind. We're like, we gotta get out. We can't fucking go here. Fuck this thing. Fuck this thing. Fuck this thing. We were like so freaked out. It was really fucking weird and scary and like really weird vibes. Yeah, like we hated it. And we've already said no to ISU. We already passed. So like that day, I remember we were still in the parking lot. We're like, can we still get back into ISU? And we're like, we already said no. We sent our papers in. And I was like, map how far we are, map how far we are. And I think we were like 3 hours away. So we got in the car and we drove down to ISU to go meet with the dean. We were like, we need to come back.

Wow.

Just visit a community college.

It sucked.

We can't go there.

That's insane.

We need to come here. And the dean was just like, it's too late. Registration's closed. So then we got fucked and we had to go to community college. Luckily, we only lasted a semester there. I went to LA. Ilya went to plumbing. And then fast forward, board, and now we're here.

I wonder what would have happened if the dean said yes.

That's what I think about too, is like, how fucked would that have been if the dean let us go back into the college?

I still think you would have dropped out.

Okay guys, that's all the time we have for today's podcast. Thank you guys for listening. From my favorite people to my least favorite, in that specific order, thank you Ilya for being here. Jason and Natalie, thank you so much. You guys have made this pod just so, so incredible.

Thank you, Dave. It was really fun. Yeah, great job.

You did a really good job.

Say goodbye to all the The Cucks.

What? Oh, we're coming up with a new name for you guys. It's not the Cucks or the Perverts. We're still workshopping it.

Guys, guess what David is eating. We're not going to tell you, but if you guess it right, David's going to send you $100. It's really funny in the headphones. Ooh, big crunch!