She Was Offered $400,000 For This!!

What's up guys, welcome back to Views. Today we are joined here with a supermodel.

Thank you, David, thank you for having me.

I was actually referring to Josie Kusako. Hey guys, Victoria's Secret supernova fashion star and an amateur model, actually, Natalie.

She has a fucking dream job that I want. She has the fucking Sports Illustrated.

Wait, wait, you haven't gotten a job? Natalie's got—

I haven't done Sports Illustrated yet.

Are you kidding?

There you have it. There's something wrong with the world. Shut the fuck up.

You look absolutely fucking amazing, by the way. I know I told you so many times. You look so good.

Do girls feel like they have to do that right away, Dave?

Do you think you see that a lot, that girls, they go out there with each other?

Yeah, sweater. It's— they'll find something when they come in. But I would never do that to you. I'd never go, big Oh my God, I love your hat.

It's also really funny because like, like when I feel like you do do that, by the way, to him, you're like, I do that?

Yeah.

Well, I mean, I suck David's dick. I have to.

I feel like, I feel like especially when like a girl comes in, like my dynamic with Natalie is like there's not a moment I'm not shitting on her. So it's like when a girl comes in, like Josie will just be like, no, come on, Natalie's beautiful.

We gotta empower each other. We just stick together. I can't even talk today.

Sorry, Sports Illustrated is massive.

Long day, long morning. Sports Illustrated is massive.

Do you remember where we met you?

First?

Yeah. No, you remember we met? We met you at, um, Mike Stud's house. It was like a party and it was your birthday. It was your birthday party.

Yeah, it was your birthday party. You just like— what, Mike's?

Yeah, yeah, like there's like a ping pong table and everything.

Oh, beer pong. It was like in Studio City.

It was like the house had like a big open area up top.

Yeah, on the flats.

I don't remember because it was my birthday and I'm assuming I wouldn't remember my birthday.

No, but I remember, I remember you just did— I think you just— she just did Victoria's Secret a week or a couple days before. Yes.

Yeah, so The show was on November 8th and my birthday was on the 5th. So I think right after that we did a little vacation, celebrate, and then we came home and like did like a proper birthday, right?

So like Natalie and I walked in, she just spit on us immediately.

No, I would never spit on anyone.

No, you were the sweetest. And I was really excited to meet you because I got— you were like such— like I was seeing your shit like everywhere.

Yeah.

So then when we saw you, I was really excited. Yeah. Stop. Um, and then I remember— and then I remember I saw you at Saddle Ranch another time. I think that was it.

Yeah, we gotta wait before it was like super oversaturated with like the whole TikTok community. We used to go and get a good little gang, go over there with me, you would take sprinters and go, and DMX was playing pool in the back. It was iconic.

Like, he passed away.

That's so sad.

Legend.

Yeah, yeah.

DMX. Oh, oh, oh, oh, Jay, come on, bro.

I thought you said that.

Okay, get with the time. That's kind of, that's kind of the whole theme to this podcast is Jason Nash, get with the times.

What'd you say?

Uh, can you hear us?

Hey, Josie, here, I have a question. Uh, what's the difference between your type of modeling and like someone doing like a Miss America pageant? Are they like completely different things? Like, would you— you've never done anything like that? You've never done a pageant?

I would assume the process is similar in regards to like casting and going through different rounds of work to get to like the end goal.

But in your job, in your job, you're never standing there and they like ask you questions about how you change the world, right? If you were like the pageant queen?

No, it's not really about that. It's more so just like, I'm gonna keep your mouth shut and be our like little mannequin for the most part until you get to a certain level and then you start doing podcasts.

So this is the next level. Wow.

So you start like expressing yourself and just fucking opening your mouth and talking about things and being more of a personality than— yeah, modeling is pretty much just being someone else's vision and just being a doll.

And how'd you get your start?

My who?

Your start. Your start. Well, it's just a simple question. It's just a basic question, but I'm interested. How old are you?

Um, so my first kind of gig that like got me like a bit of a following, notoriety, I was 16 and I was actually got my like job in retail working at Brandy Melville. You remember Brandy Melville? Of course.

It's only like hot girls would shop there, right?

Like if you're ugly, it's like a one-size-fits-all brand. Yeah, it's controversial. They literally had signs in their brand and no like shitting on them exactly because like, you know, why was it controversial? Their sizes was one size fits most.

Oh, what the fuck?

How fucked up is that? If you think about it, like one size fits— and it was all like the girls that they were using were like not too—

man, that makes, that makes me tear up just thinking about me going in there and not being able to fit into one of those things. Are they still around? Did they change? They changed their motto?

Yeah, I think when the internet, Instagram, and like social media was just kind of popping off, they just like had that thing.

Was this like a store that only hired models to work? Like only hired pretty people? Like Abercrombie only hires attractive people?

Pretty much. It was like, it was pretty but also like kind of relatable and fun and like kind of cheesy and smiley and giggly. That was my first— I worked in retail and I was like folding clothes, working there, and then they like scouted me to start modeling for them. And then I did. I was probably the face of Brandy for maybe almost a year.

Wait, that's fucking crazy. You just went into work for like a regular retail job. It's like you're getting a job at Wendy's and then Wendy's corporate being like, damn, yeah, similar.

You should be Wendy's. One meal feeds most.

Wow, well done.

Yeah, you went in to buy something and they made you a model?

No, I thought she worked there.

My mom was like, get a job, you're 16, it's time to fucking make some money. I was like, okay. So I went to Brandy Melville right on the promenade because I lived in the Palisades and it was just close by.

Yeah.

And, um, went in there, got the job, probably because I was just like blonde and like, hi, I can fold clothes. Or like, you're hired. I got the job and they're like, do you want to model for us? And started shooting me. And then one thing led to another.

I applied No, you applied where? Well, at American Eagle, so it's kind of like the same.

I thought you could say Abercrombie.

They were looking for good-looking people, so like I applied. My friend's mom—

you get it?

No. Well, my friend, my friend's mom was the person that was like doing the hiring, and she put in the best word for me. And then I went in to like do the whole interview, and for some reason, like, I thought it was like all you had to be was friendly to get the job. And then she started asking me like to put outfits together. She's like, okay, a mother of 3 comes in and her children are going to like a bat mitzvah. What would you put together here? And I was like, what the fuck? And I told her, I told her, I was like, my mom usually dresses me, but like, I, I, if you teach me where the things are in the store, I'll be able to point to them.

Yeah, yeah.

And I didn't get the job, even with like, even with the proper training and everything. No, well, they wouldn't even train me.

I didn't give a fuck. They're like, you gotta get out of here.

Yeah, so mine's kind of the opposite story of yours. Corporate didn't get the gig. Yeah, instead of reaching out and like promoting me, I wasn't even let on the team. But it is what it is.

That's unfortunate. But look, everything happens for a reason. Now you're—

Well, no, I would still love that job. I still go back once a year just because I would love to work there. But, you know, you can't have everything, Josie.

You can.

Oh, well, that's Jason Nash. He begs to differ. We went on an Aspen trip with Josie and like a completely new side of her was unlocked. Like, I've— She did this bit where she put underwear all over herself.

This bit was a bit—

She sketched this out.

My plan is I had to get them on my side.

I don't know. Underwear on her and she was just acting as a coat hanger. And I know it sounds so—

all of them, like 30 pairs. Some of them were dirty, I'm sure, the ones on my head.

No, you were very brave with it. It was all of Ilya's too. And I was talking about earlier the other day, I was in his hotel room the other day. I hate to put him on blast right now, but bro, every time I walk into his hotel room in the back—

why is he in a hotel room?

Well, because like when we travel.

Oh, okay, okay.

Every time I walk into his room, skid marks in the toilet.

I did not even know that.

And I only say that because you put his underwear like right on your face.

Thanks for making me feel so much better about just coming out of my shell and probably having poop on my head that night. Um, makes me feel great.

But yeah, no, Aspen was like probably one of the best. Jay, you should have come.

I wasn't invited. Thank you, Josie.

That was like surprisingly one of the better trips I've ever been on in my life. What's the craziest experience you've been invited on because of your status? I also think like, I also think not to be like sexist, but I think if you are a prettier girl, you get invited to way cooler shit.

There's definitely a privilege that comes with being like a holo girl model running around L.A.

who's like, what's the craziest offers you've gotten to fly to places like princes from Dubai? Yeah, yeah. The ones that you've blown off because you're like, what the fuck? This is crazy, but I really want to do it.

I have— I don't know if it was like my thing. It maybe was Dubai. I got offered $400,000 to like go and like stand alongside someone, and I said no.

Well, hold on, hold on.

I just— I, I— well, one, like moral-wise, like I just— I would literally rather be like broke and suffering than like crack my morals and like do something like that personally.

Because to stand alongside somebody—

no, but they say that, they say that, but like you never know getting in that situation. Like also, like there's something about like being taken care of by men that like gives me the fucking like I just don't— maybe it's the way I grew up and like how my family and mom and like, like maybe for more personal reasons, I just like really hate the idea of like a man like taking care of me, right? Or like paying for things for me. And like, I'm very, very independent. Relationships are 50/50. I'm like, not— I don't want your money to go hang out with you. Like, I'd rather make that on my own.

And that was probably like the surface level request. And then when you get there, he's like, come to dinner and then come hang out.

Yeah, I mean, any guy who's trying to pay that to fly a model out, like, who knows where their intentions lie.

And Jay, you ever get those requests to be fun? Yeah, yeah. Where have you been?

Somebody offered me $30 to take a ride with them to Van Nuys once.

You went, didn't you?

Yeah, I had to. I needed the gas money.

And you sucked them off, huh? And you had to suck them off.

It's none of your business. None of your business what happened in that, in that Toyota Celica.

Natalie's underwear was just all bought out by, by the same guy on like her, uh, what was it, on your—

I was selling my clothes on Poshmark and this guy bought 19 of my used sports bras. Yeah. One guy. One guy.

Yeah. Sicko. Yeah. One of the guys is sick. Maybe that's your thing. One of us is guilty of that. Okay, that makes sense. Okay. And then this kind of goes along with— I feel like, I feel like you've had, like, you've interacted with the most crazy people from all over the industry. So, like, in the entertainment industry, like, you've dated a lot of really famous people.

Right.

I've had 3 boyfriends.

What?

Yeah, I've had 3, like, actual relationships that were, like, public. And it was Mike, and then it was Brody, and then Logan. Those are my only 3.

Can I ask one thing? I've always wanted to know this. Did you at one point date MGK? I don't—

I should not. I'm trying to see the— No, no, I don't care. We were never in a relationship.

That's not the question, by the way. That's just— that's just the beginning. What? Thank you.

Uh, we were never in a relationship, but we definitely had a point of being, uh, exclusive and seeing each other. But it was also in the midst of me, like, living in New York and being in New York. So I think the long-distance thing kind of messed with us. And then there was a night where he just kind of wasn't— I just, like, it just wasn't it, right?

Right. Okay, because I asked this because we were in Saddle Ranch, and that's where I saw both you. That's where I met him for the first time, both you and him.

Kelsey's birthday.

Kelsey's birthday.

I remember that. I remember that because he— yeah, yeah.

And and I thought you guys were dating, but you guys were both like being— you guys were both being so like out there with everybody. You guys were talking to everyone, and that was mind-blowing because like the relationship— like when I think of a relationship, I think of like, don't look at another girl like you're in a relationship. But you like— you like—

that was our first time hanging out. We weren't even dating at that point. That was like the very start of us, of our kind of little thing.

Well, that's why I was like— I was like thinking about, okay, like maybe LA dating is like a lot more casual. Like you can like I don't know. Like, I feel like when you're dating someone, you have no freedoms.

Why are you doing it to the corner? You have nothing.

I don't know. I guess I have like a bad interpretation of it. But what is it? What is dating like? What stages do you go through when you date somebody? So first, are you hanging out with them and you're getting the vibe? What?

You've never been in a relationship?

No, not— this place is— this place is like fucking the Wild West for dating. This is not like in the Midwest.

Really?

Yes, bro.

Cold-blooded.

Yeah. Wait, explain that. Why do you have you have to be cold-blooded?

Um, I just think that you can easily be dated for the wrong reasons. You can be— a lot of people here, just, there's so many options that I feel like you have to have a little bit of a guard up for X amount of time until you get to a point where, you know, you can trust them. Like, for a while, for like at least like a couple of months, it like— personally, it takes me a while to trust someone and to know their intentions and to see if we connect enough to even like pursue things like sexually or in a relationship or anything. It's just, it's— there's a lot of distractions. There's a lot of beautiful men and women, and it's, you know.

Do you think you're ever gonna get married?

Yeah.

What? Yeah. Oh, some people do. Well, do you think you're gonna get married? Yeah, of course. Yeah, come on. I mean, maybe not all girls, but for me, I definitely can't wait to get married and have a family and get the fuck out of the city. Like a whole normal thing. Get a farm, tons of animals, and like like, well, this is my long-term goal.

This leads me to my next question. Where's your favorite place in the world?

Okay, so just say it.

Give me the place.

First thing comes to my mind is Montana.

Damn it.

Montana. Or I mean Paris is like— Paris.

You posted a story 3 weeks ago and it was like, it was Montana geotagged, and you said my favorite place in the world. And I screenshotted it and I was like, if I ever see Josie, I'm gonna ask her if it's really her favorite place in the world.

It is.

Yeah. Why? You weren't fucking kidding. I thought you were just saying it for Instagram stories.

No, no, no.

But there you have it, folks. Josie is as honest as can be.

But I'll be keeping my eye on her Instagram story, and you better believe I'll be watching.

One day, Miss Kaseko.

It's real, it's real.

I promise.

I'm very authentic, I'm very transparent, which is—

okay, okay, you passed the test.

Thanks, guys.

Do you want to feel how sweaty my hands are, bro? My hands—

no, but you can't turn on his lights.

I think they've been on too long.

I'm sweating.

Yeah, that's really hot. I'm really sweaty too. I agree.

I'm warm too.

What do you want me to do? What should I touch? Or what do I—

touch my hand?

No, my hands are so sweaty.

Let me see. No, no, let me see.

No, you won't believe this.

Let me see.

Josie, your face is about to be fucking rocked. And that's sweaty hand cam for you guys. No, no, no. Talking to the mic, what it feels like?

It's moist.

I mean, no, it's not.

It's like drip. It's like soggy now. I'm so— I'm gonna turn into a prune. That's how wet your hands are.

That's how bad it gets, especially when I'm interviewing people and like, sorry.

Ew, it's cozy.

Well, it should be.

I'm a weirdo. Everything I like—

what does it smell like?

What?

It does not smell bad. Stop. No, it's just— does it smell bad? No, I'm insecure.

I was dating this guy who was wearing Invisalign and I saw his Invisalign on the table and I was like Oh, you got it.

You got to sniff Invisalign.

I just like to know, you know, bro.

I hate when people's Invisalign smells like corn. Do you know what I'm talking about? Oh, it's like a normal thing when you take stuff out of your teeth. It smells like corn. It's fucking disgusting.

Yeah, is that the scent though? It's like— I'm like still bothered by this moist hair.

Hey, you wanted it.

I did want it.

You asked for it. All right, what's your—

touch the stove to know it's hot, you know?

This— you're really gonna have to channel this because I feel like you have way too many, but what's your craziest, uh, What's your craziest celeb encounter or craziest party experience?

Uh, okay. Actually, this one happened kind of recently.

Oh, hell yeah.

And it was fucking wild. So I went to—

You hyped it up.

I was like, put it— sorry, sorry. Am I supposed to, like, name names?

If you feel comfortable, you don't have to.

Okay.

You can just say, like, A-list superstar, megastar.

So I went to an A-list actor's birthday.

What's his name?

It's like that hidden of a thing.

Oh, okay.

I mean, I want— it was Leonardo DiCaprio.

Oh, so the A-list actor. Yeah, we'll see where the story goes and then we'll bleep his name out.

Yeah, no, no, it's not bad, it's all good. But the most like, just the most iconic environment I think I've been in in general, I was at his birthday and it was like not too big, it was like more of like his private, like close family and friends. And I've known, um, him and his, uh, friend Reza, who like knows my mom, like just kind of family circle shit, went there, and at one point I saw myself standing in a corner by a bar with LeBron James, Jay-Z, and Beyoncé. And I was like, oh wow, I was just like, Jay-Z and Beyoncé too? All three of— all three of them? And I'm just like, they're at the bar waiting for a drink and they're just right next to me, all three of them. I'm like, is this fucking real life? They were waiting in this room. They were waiting and they were just like— they're like the top of the top. There was also like all the most iconic human beings of all time there in the acting industry, the music world. Like, you can imagine who else was there. Jay-Z, Beyoncé, and LeBron are all like kicking it.

What is that like to be in a room with like the most elite, elite people? Like, is it, is it nerve-wracking? Is it fun?

It's not nerve-wracking necessarily. Um, I think just being raised in LA and always kind of being around that environment, right?

So you're used to it.

Yeah. Um, and they're human, so I think the way I perceive it is just kind of like— but it's also like inspiring.

Those three are actually the furthest from human. Jay-Z, Beyoncé, LeBron are like, yeah, probably the furthest people from you.

I feel like I'm around a lot of people just being in LA and whatever.

What do they do when they stand in the corner? Do they hover or are they standing?

They're always like talking shit about everyone. Are they like, they're just kicking it, they're vibing. They were— Snoop Dogg performed. Like, it was, uh, everyone was just having a good time.

It just felt like an intimate party.

Very intimate. It was probably like— excuse me, it was maybe like 100.

Jesus Christ.

150.

Wow. I wonder what, like, Beyoncé and Jay-Z think when they're, like, leaving their house.

Like, I can't believe they leave their house. I imagine it's an upper echelon of, like, a human being. Like, you can't do shit.

But, like, what is it like?

Like, is it like, honey, did you get them on the podcast? Yes, actually, that— that's— you ruined our next guest.

Plot twist.

We gotta wrap up here because they're walking in. I don't even think anybody has interviewed them together. I haven't even seen that.

I don't think so.

At this point they're probably just like, they don't want to do shit. I would assume they like, press-wise, who cares? They've been through so much. I'm sure.

And it's so cool because like, they can stop now and no one will be like, no one will be like, where have they been? Like, everyone would just be like, they've already like cemented themselves.

Yeah.

Into like that world where— yeah, yeah, it'll be cool forever.

That was my moment though. And I was like, wow.

Have you ever, have you ever walked up to anybody like that status that you were just like, fuck it, like I have to meet this person? I want this person, I, I want to date this person, I want to talk to them, whatever it is. Like, have you ever done that?

I'm obsessed with your mom. It's my favorite mom on the planet.

I like that you, you smell David's hands. That's probably the best thing about you. All your accomplishments, that is the best.

This is scratching the surface. It gets really weird. Um, what was the question?

Like, is there any— is there anybody that you're like scared to meet that like you had to build up the courage to meet and it was like very great or very poor or whatever it was?

I'm trying to think. I don't think— I definitely don't think I've been the one to go, oh fuck, is anyone cool come up to you?

Oh, of course.

Yeah, right.

I mean, look at you, Jason. Josie, is it safe to say that at least 70% of like entertainers, whether they're basketball players baseball players have slid into your DMs? That's, that's honestly safe to say.

I sound like a fucking little snooty bitch if I say yes.

But Josie, you're—

what the answer is, that's fucking crazy.

Yeah, you should do a podcast called The DM Report.

That's insane.

Yeah, sure.

You should invite the people over that have DM'd you and give them a shot on a podcast. Yeah, see if they're worthy of like taking you out on a date.

Really good.

That's kind of genius, but I feel like I don't know if they'd agree to that and like put themselves on blast.

I'd be so overwhelmed. Like, I'm right.

Hey, you DM me, like, just come to my— sit in my room. Let's see what you got.

No, I'm saying I'd just be overwhelmed in general, like receiving that many DMs. Like, I wouldn't know what to do with myself. I'd like— I wouldn't— I'd feel like I need to like meet everybody. I need to hang out with everybody.

You are David Dobrik. I know the DMs you get is like unreal.

I'm not a pretty girl. You pull bitches.

You pull bitches.

There's also a level where he taps out. and you don't. You know what I mean?

You calling me a.

No, no, no.

He takes some time off.

David doesn't sleep with everybody like you do. You slot. Jesus Christ. No, I mean David level where David has standards.

I mean like Robert Downey.

No, no.

A big Hollywood actor is not DMing, David.

They don't give a build with you and shit.

Yeah, very, very. But like, Very— when you're like a pretty girl, I feel like any guy will like, will want to talk to you, you know what I mean? But like, not any girl or any guy will want to talk to me. That's like— that's a completely—

don't put yourself down like that.

You have a completely new level of like receiving DMs. That is like—

maybe—

can I see— can I see your phone? I won't read it out loud. Can I just see the top requests?

Yeah.

Oh, it's Jesus Christ. Jesus Christ. It's Jesus Christ.

It might be kind of random.

Yo, yo, I'm back. I'm in LA only for 2 nights, trying to keep it low-key.

I don't know, they're just staying at the SLS. These are just unanswered. Some of them I've answered, but I'm also not like a big—

how is it, Dave?

DM. Also, I've noticed a lot of people, like, when you go to message them, it'll be like accept, and then there won't be a message there. So like, people who have messaged me— no, they've unsent it, and then they unsent it. And I'm just like, that's even more awkward because now I can see that you messaged me.

Wow, this is like 5 of the LA Lakers.

Oh, 2 astronauts.

It's glitching, so it doesn't actually show.

I know, it's showing like high ones.

Oh, this girl's pretty. Can I respond to her? Uh, David, I give you permission.

I give you permission to respond to whoever you want. Hey, you get one response.

Wow.

Okay, like, hey, hook up with @daviddobrik. Send a picture of yourself.

Hook up with this guy. This is— that's really cool. Good for you. When you— when you— when you spend the night with somebody, do you like to leave right away, or do you leave in the morning?

So I like people coming to me.

Oh, nice.

I don't like to go to their place.

They make the decision. Or how do you tell them to leave? Do you make up like, I have a meeting early in the morning?

So if they don't get the vibe in the morning, like, I'm just not— like, if we wake up in the morning, we have a fun night, we drink, and you stay at mine and we hang out or whatever, which also, like, we don't hook up, okay? Promise.

Of course.

But they hang out, and, and then in the morning, if they don't know, then I'm just like, oh yeah, you know, I gotta go. I gotta go to my mom's. Like, I gotta go, like, do something. I'll just make something up and be like, yeah, I gotta go run some errands, do this. And they'll be like, oh, okay, bet, like, cool. Like, and then they'll like wait for me to leave to leave. And I'm like, yeah, so like, you know, I got like, I gotta go. Like, have a good day though. Like, good. And they're like, oh, okay.

Why are you laughing?

I'm just imagining you like in her robe making eggs.

Do not make eggs.

And like fluffy pink slippers.

Like, oh, okay, overstaying my welcome. Yeah, yeah, you need to go to your mom. Well, if you're back in 20, you won't miss the eggs. Um, you, David, you, David, you could say what happens if you wake up in the morning, it's like it's 9 AM and you really have to poop, like, then what do you do? Do you kick the boy out? Do you have a secondary bathroom?

Okay, you know, the secondary bathroom. Um, okay, I have a trick. I don't want to incriminate myself.

Thank you.

Everyone needs to know it so they have options.

But then now going for, like, going forward, the guys are gonna know my trick.

No, I doubt the guys that you're seeing— DiCaprio isn't watching this vlog. Okay, go, go, go, go. I took a shit right on his face once.

Took it there, didn't you? So impressive.

I had to.

It was great.

Uh, thanks for the TikTok we just made.

What's the secret?

Um, the secret is that I'm going to go take a shower. I'm just going to go like spend some time in the bathroom, take a— which I do take a shower in the morning usually.

That's not that big of a secret. And then you poop?

Yeah.

And you flush immediately when it hits?

Oh my God.

No. And then—

jail?

Wait, why?

I don't know. Isn't that a thing in jail? You have to like No, actually, you don't stink up the fucking whole thing.

One of the prettiest girls in our high school, Courtney, shout out to you, told me that when she poops, oh my God, she, she flushes it immediately when it hits.

I'm just like, really? I'm in the shower.

Is that why you can't smell it or you don't hear it?

Can we stop talking about poop?

Yeah, right when it hits. Right on.

We are hitting the hard-hitting questions here.

I think it's really—

God, you're gonna clickbait me like Josie poops. You're talking about poop. Why do you, why do you want He's fucking—

we talked to Josie about Jay-Z, Beyoncé, and diarrhea. Hey, man, I have bad news.

Okay, hold on. Let me get ready.

It's not the worst, but it's like switching co-hosts. No, no, no, no. That would be good news. We just haven't found anybody.

How's the search going? What's going on? You can't find anybody.

It's good. It's a lot. It's a lot tougher than you would think. But it's nice that you're down to kick it until then.

Listen, I'm always here until you need me.

Because normally, normally people would be like upset. They'd be like, I'm out. If you're already trying to replace me, but you're just like, as long as I can be here even for a little bit.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I mean, I just like coming to the house, you know? Nice break.

What the actual news is— well, it's not really news, to be honest. I just had my friend over. Madison was over and she brought her dog.

Yeah. And Joe told me.

Yeah.

Fuck.

I know, I know.

That's why I don't bring my dog over.

Every time someone brings their dog over, it's a new dog. So I have no beef with the dog whatsoever.

So clean slate with the dog.

Clean slate with the dog.

Of course.

I'm like, and then I start to think, okay, maybe I can own a dog. And she has like a golden doodle type situation, which is like, she's like basically hypoallergenic. So it's like the dog for me. He looks really cool. We put pizza on the ground, it doesn't touch the pizza. And I'm like, why is he not eating? And she's like, I've taught him not to eat like people's food, and he's so respectful. Like pizza's okay, we're in the hot tub, because the pizza is like literally on the ground, like his perfect for him to start chewing on with his little nozzle. Um, and he doesn't touch it. So I'm like, okay, maybe I'm like coming around to this guy. Like maybe I could have a dog for myself, maybe even two. Because of how well this is going. And then we're finishing up the— our little hot tub time. And my buddy goes, can you look at what's in his mouth? And there's a string hanging out of his mouth. And her dog has now went into the trash and eaten a tampon.

Oh my God.

Bloody tampon. Oh gosh, it's bloody. So there's blood dripping on the floor. And somehow, even though the entire time I was looking at the dog, he was outside. But somehow he got blood on the cloud couch.

I heard he was on the couch with it. He went, he went all over and tried.

But it's fucking crazy. Like, I'm over here like, this dog's amazing, not touching the pepperoni pizza.

Why didn't you flush your tampon?

I'd like to collect mine. No, I don't know. Are you supposed to flush those?

Well, that was what somebody said you're not supposed to. And then somebody said that you are.

And then I texted Taylor and Natalie. I was like, somebody's on the couch. But it was none of them. It's like a communal bathroom. So, so many people walk through that place. So it could have literally been anybody, which kind of spooks me.

Hates pizza, loves Tampax.

Jay, listen to this fucking asshole. This guy right here.

Who?

David. Oh great, he comes up to my room like 15 minutes ago. I'm in the shower, knocks on my door, right?

Yeah, Dave?

Hey, come downstairs and tell me those dumb fucking stupid facts that you say on your podcast.

That's not what I said. That's almost more Bro, you honestly—

what you said is, go downstairs and tell me those dumb facts that you say in your podcast.

And it's like, because that's how you could— I, I did say that, I did. I'm guilty. But like, that's how you refer to them, like stupid facts.

Yeah, yeah.

But you said it like such a rushed way where it was like, well, yeah, I know, because yeah, come downstairs and be the total asshole that you are.

Yeah, yeah. Be an idiot. Um, yeah, no, Ilya like on my For You page, I always see like stuff from his podcast and it's just like stupid facts. Yeah, I mean, even now I can't refer to as anything else.

Yeah, you guys want to hear one of my stupid facts?

Yeah, sure.

Okay, Vincent van Gogh—

oh goddamn it, so you admit they're stupid facts.

Vincent van Gogh was alive when Nintendo was created, when Nintendo was founded. That's pretty crazy.

That is pretty crazy.

In the 1800s, Nintendo was founded in 1889. As what? Nintendo.

I don't know what the fuck I did it to. I don't know what part of the fun fact is. Is it that— is it that Nintendo's so old or Van Gogh so recent? Which one is the—

Nintendo's old.

Oh, I took it more as Van Gogh so recent.

No, I mean, I had no idea.

What was Nintendo making in the 1880s?

I have no idea.

They're just like, we're going to do video games in like 100 years.

That's where the fact stops.

No, no.

I mean, it took them 100 years to get video games.

Yeah.

I mean, fun facts with no research featuring Ilya Fedorovich.

No, I don't know what they were doing, but I just thought it was cool, like how a company like that existed during his time.

Give me another one.

You know, there's no polite way to say I wasn't talking to you. Like, try to say it.

Try to say it in a polite way.

I wasn't talking to you.

Oh my God. Did you try to make yourself sound like an asshole?

That actually hurt.

Yeah, well, it's like this. It's like this is how it actually goes. Watch this. Yeah. Jason, you're a fat fuck. Oh, oh, oh, I wasn't talking to you.

You see, that's pretty good.

There you go.

I mean, when you put it in context, yeah, I just busted your myth. Yeah, well, it's not really a myth because technically you still can't say it without—

I literally just said it in a nice way.

Yeah, I understand that, but you put context behind it.

Okay, so no context.

No context.

Yeah. Oh, I wasn't talking to you.

Uh, that's still kind of rude.

Oh man, that's a fun fact, bro. You got— you're a genius.

Check this out. So this is, this is a hat. I'm going to show what it says in a second, but I'm going to put this hat on.

Yeah.

When we open the 1,000th Doughworks location. Okay.

This is the only, this is the only time these podcasts are going to edit so sad in about 10 years when our first, when our first location goes bankrupt and it's just still going.

Yeah.

When we open our 1,000th, when we're billionaires, when the pizza is the world number one pizza in the world. No, I have faith. I just, I need to put anything I do down for it to be good.

Right.

And what is it?

1,000 locations is a lot.

On one time right now.

It's gonna disintegrate.

And then I'm gonna—

don't put it on now because it'll be bad luck.

Okay, okay. So I'm gonna put it on on the 1,000th location.

It's a pizza— the hat says pizza.

And I'm gonna put it in like a case, like a clear case, and I'm gonna say 1,000th location hat, and we can break it.

It's not even our colors for Doughbrix.

Doesn't matter. Oh, still cool.

Where'd you just find it?

We got sent to it by a fan.

Oh, that's sick.

Anyways, yeah. Damn, you have one too, by the way.

I'm gonna put it on right away.

When's it open?

Hopefully July. I want to try to do it by Dave's birthday.

Wait, why are you saying that all of a sudden? Because you were saying like— oh, I guess August is close. You were saying August.

I'm really gonna try to push for, for July.

Yeah, if we could get it open on my birthday.

Your birthday? Birthday would be sick, huh?

Ilya's promised me a Ferrari.

Yeah, if, if what? If you get ripped?

Yeah, if I get into really, really good shape.

Okay.

And I'm— it's not even like a base Ferrari he promised me. You promised me like a Yeah, an F8. I mean, yeah, like a really nice Ferrari.

So why don't you do it?

I have no idea.

You really hate working out.

It's not that, it's just meals are so important to me. Like being able to eat a burger like once or twice a day and then having pasta at night is like—

that's what makes burgers twice a day. Sacrifice to be able to achieve your goal of getting a Ferrari.

I mean, I know the Ferrari thing is fucking stupid. That— there's no excuse for me not to do that. Like, who in the right mind gets a deal like, if you get healthy I'll get you a Ferrari. Like, it literally makes no sense. Like, and I'm still not doing it.

I can't believe you're not doing it.

I will.

You don't care about cars though.

I, I, well, I, I do if it's gifted.

Oh, you do?

Yeah. If I can tell people that I got it as a gift, it to me is cooler than saying I bought it. Uh-huh. Because, and people hate that. People fucking hate receiving cars as gifts. But like, that is like a flex. Like, if I, if I ever get like a gift as a car, like, I want to be able to be like, I didn't pay for this, my friend bought it for me. Because then it's like, one, it's a conversation starter, and two, it's like, bro, how close are you with these fucking friends? What's going on? Like, I think that's sick.

And no one's bought Dave a car, so it'd be really fucking dope. Yeah, it kind of sucks.

No one's bought me a car.

No, but it kind of sucks that it's, it's, it's not coming as a surprise.

Hey, you didn't know?

How could that be?

It kind of sucks that it's not coming as a surprise.

No, I do like everyone so many cards.

Mountain Dew gave me a car once.

You gave it to Jonah the next day. The pink Beetle?

Yeah, it was like a pink, like, convertible. But I gave it to Jonah.

Steve will do it. Bought you a car?

Oh, Steve will do it. Buy me a My God, none of your friends buy you a car.

None of your close friends.

None of your close friends. Yeah, right. Fuck.

Well, thank you, Steve.

I sent Wyatt to private school instead.

It's worth it.

I hope so.

As long as he's far away from us, it's like getting a car for me.

Also, I know you watch these religiously.

Well, he's just—

he doesn't watch.

He doesn't watch them, but he will in like 5 years. He'll find a compilation of Jason Nash shitting on his son. On, and it's gonna be so like— it's, it's just gonna have like the audio snippets too, because, you know, you could date this back from like our first podcast. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Now that you said it, someone's gonna make it.

Oh boy. No, yeah, that is true.

Yeah, but Wyatt, just know, add this at the end of the compilation, whoever is making it now. Yeah. Um, we love you, Wyatt. It's all jokes.

Honestly, in the middle would be nice too, just in case he doesn't make it to the end.

Or even at the beginning. Wyatt, if you're— yeah, Wyatt, welcome to the compilation of us shitting on you. Uh, this is obviously fan-made. All right guys, that's all the time we have for this podcast. Thank you guys for listening. Thank you for joining. Thanks for Josie for coming on. Natalie, Ilya, Jason, Dave— that's me. Thank you for everyone being here. We'll see you guys next week on The Views Podcast. My name is Jeff. Bye.