Serial Killer in David's Neighborhood

What's up guys? Welcome back to Views, the podcast you've been waiting for.

Whoa, man.

What did you think about that voice?

Damn, I love when you do that voice.

It was actually kind of sexy the way that sounded.

Yeah.

Someone actually DM'd me the other day. They were like, I wonder how you get sexy for a person in bed, David. I can never imagine you doing that. And the second she takes, the second I take my clothes off, I go, welcome back to Views. The answer is I don't. The answer is I don't.

Yeah, I was watching your story over the weekend. It was really cool. I was like, oh man, this is so sick. Very mature, out having fun. And then all of a sudden it switches and it goes, guys, these cars are made of Legos. I was like, there's the Dave we know.

There were F1 cars. But before I get into F1, I want to say I got robbed this week.

What?

Natalie just finding out. Yeah, full-on robbery at the David household.

No.

Yeah, so I was in Miami. Oh, which— this is what happened.

Fuck.

Are you ready for this shit? This is fucking— I'm gonna cut to it just so people don't think I'm clickbaiting. 3 guys came into my home, into my bedroom. They knew my layout and they went into my house. My security calls me like immediately as they— as they're stepping foot in the backyard, my security's like, 3 guys, backyard entering. I call back and I go, call the police. And then at the same time, another one of my friends who calls me at the house is like, yo, people just entered the house. And he's like, I'm in the room with a gun. And I'm like, well, stay in that room. Don't fucking go out and fight the fire here. Like, it's just, you know, like, it's not worth it. Like, it's not worth blood on the carpet. So just stay in the room. So my friend has a gun and he's in his room. The reason I was also like, to my friend who was in our house with a gun, Yeah, one of my roommates has a gun. I'm not going to say names, even though I've definitely said it before.

I mean, like, I wonder.

So one of my, one of my friends who has a gun was in a room and we saw immediately on the camera as they were walking up to the house that they were kids. Like, these guys were like, oh, these guys were like probably 20, which is like maybe just once, like really stupid. This wasn't like a calculated thing, right? Like they were coming for my Avengers on Blu-ray DVD. Like they weren't coming for it. They weren't coming for anything of the most importance. It just looked like stupid stupid idiots or stupid kids being idiots, right?

So, so they'll probably brag about it on social media. Yeah, you know, yo, I robbed David Dobrik's house.

What'd you get? $30? Um, no, so it's just like, yeah, so I'm really glad that the— that nothing happened past that, but it is really scary. And, and I didn't really want to talk about it on here, but it just like worries me that like someone will come in here one day and my friend will shoot them.

Yeah.

I'm like, I don't want that to happen, so please don't do that.

Yeah.

I saw a note when I got home and it was just a note from the cleaners about something.

It's a note from the kids.

Well, that's what I thought. I personally, I was like, how cool would it be if the note was like, hey Dave, just needed some cash. Sorry about this. Yeah. In a really bad place. Yeah.

But I thought that's where you're not shooting us.

That's where my head went right away. Yeah. Thanks for not shooting us. But yeah, so that's what happened this weekend. But obviously police came, scrubbed down the place, and they did their report. It's pretty cool. I did my report. I sat outside of Eleven, the Miami nightclub, talking to the police.

What report did you do?

They were just like, what could they have taken? I'm like, I don't know. Not much really, unless they went into John's room and took the gel blasters. Check to see if those are there. But yeah, no, the police were really nice.

Oh, that's what you mean by gun.

Yeah. My friend has 4 gel blasters. No, but the police got here quick too. Like, Illya was like, should I call the police? I'm like, nah, just let these guys do their thing because I'm like, the cops aren't gonna get there. But they got there in like 4 minutes. The guys were only in the house for like 8 minutes. But it was really crazy watching the security footage. They knew exactly where they were going. Like, they were going into my room.

Did you get a look at the faces?

No, they were wearing ski masks. It was like—

Oh!

It was like very—

That's really scary.

Yeah, it was very robbery-esque.

Don't you feel you're handling it so well? I would feel so, uh, because if I was there, invaded— not in— what's the word?

That's how I felt when I walked back into my house this morning. But like, um, like when I came back from Miami, I was like, someone else has been there, been here. Yeah, like what's that story with the three bears and, uh, Goldilocks? Yeah, yeah, it feels like Goldilocks slept in my bed. But I knew they were only here for 8 minutes, and then I had Natalie sleepover. Good.

Yeah, perfect.

I came to save the day.

I didn't have it. So in case they came back, she was closer to the door, even though that's how I positioned her. It was more so that just to break the bed in with me, if you know what I mean.

Oh, I see.

No, nothing to do with the robbery. Yeah. How do I phrase this properly? No, just have a friend back in the house just to regain my houseness. Like someone else was here.

Safety.

Yeah. It feels good.

Get the vibe back.

Other than the robbery, our phone was fucking great. Dude, I've had such a crazy, like, religious experience. Not religious. I don't know why I use that word.

Explain to everybody. Explain to me. It's just one race, right?

It's just one race. But I get confused when I bring it up. Like, is F1— like, is F1 a thing that, like, everyone knows? Every time I say the word F1, I'm like, is this like a universal thing now, or is it still like very niche? It feels very like top 1%.

Is it the best drivers in the world competing?

Yeah.

Okay, great.

Yes, it's the best drivers in the world.

Yeah.

They just go around like every season each year. There's like, I don't know, whatever, like 20 tracks. Or whatever, and they do the same circuit every single year in different cities. In different cities. Got it.

So it goes to Vegas, it goes to Miami, where else?

Yeah, I mean, everywhere. It goes to Singapore, Australia.

Yeah, it's everywhere. I think they get like 3 weeks off.

And I heard the race is only 20 minutes long.

No, it's like 2 hours.

The race is pretty long. It's just crazy. It's a crazy experience because like everybody there, it's like the most upper enchilada.

Enchilada. Enchilada. Yes.

It's the highest enchiladas that you can get of people.

Sounds delicious.

Yeah, it's so yummy. See how far Enchilada is there. But we went one time to F1. I don't know how much our tickets were this time, but there was one time we went and there was 3 of us that went. It was me, Natalie, and my friend John, and it was $30,000 a ticket, which is fucking crazy. Isn't that insane? $30,000 a ticket. And you're like, who pays for that? Well, usually a brand. Or if you're rich, you're rich. There was one time we went to F1 and the guy, the guy was so wealthy that invited everybody to come to F1. Yeah, that he was the only one. So there's a paddock and everyone and under the paddock, or maybe it is the paddock. It is the paddock.

It is the paddock.

Okay.

So, so this is like the infield, the paddock.

It's the garage where all the cars come in to get their, get their fix. He was the only— this guy was so wealthy that he was the only guy to have his own garage and not have a car. So his garage— and this wasn't like you were sitting above the garages and looking down. His was— there was 13 or whatever garages, and he was the 14th garage. So that's how it was. And in his garage, there wasn't a car because he had nothing to fix. He just invited a bunch of people because he had a lot of money. And he had Gordon Ramsay catering the whole thing. And Gordon Ramsay was actually there. I don't think he was cooking, but his whole restaurant was in the garage making food. Oysters, whatever, the whole fucking thing. It was incredible. And then after that, he had— he hosted everybody that was in his garage at like a nightclub in Vegas. And he spent— this was every night— he spent around $400,000 to $500,000 on bottle service, and he never even stepped foot in the casino. He didn't like doing it. Like, he didn't like going to the casino, but he really like wanted his friends to have a good time, right? So he just bought everyone a table, and we all hung out at the tables. The biggest table you can possibly get, probably in all Vegas. And he was just in the casino gambling while his friends were inside celebrating. It's fucking crazy. So that's the type of craziness that goes on at F1.

Just the level of wealth is like unimaginable.

It just doesn't make any sense.

People are walking around with watches that are several million dollars. It's just like, it's crazy.

Yeah, we went to a watch company's, I shouldn't say booth.

Suite?

I shouldn't even say suite. It's a whole fucking building they had. For F1 and like our friend got us in and I was like, what are the clients like here? And he's like, I am very lucky to be here. I'm their lowest client. And because I only spent $500,000 with them a year, which is like crazy, like this guy spends $500,000 a year and he's like, I'm their lowest client for sure. Like people here are spending $5 to $10 million on their watches that get invited to here. And then when you get invited to F1, you're still paying for a ticket. So it's, it's pretty, it's a pretty crazy experience. But just Miami in general is, is so fucking insane. I saw a girl, saw a girl talking about this on TikTok. She was like, have you heard of Club Space in Miami?

No.

Everything in Miami functions like really late. And she made a TikTok, she's like, so I bought tickets because my, my, the DJ I wanted to go see goes on at 11 PM. That's what it said. And then I got there at 11 and the place is pretty empty. And then when I asked when he's coming on, they said, oh, he's not coming on till 8 AM. How fucking crazy is that?

That's like, you can get a good night's sleep actually and wake up and then do his job.

That's what people Miami's so fucking ass backwards that people go to bed and they get to this place at like 6 in the morning. It's really fucking bizarre. Like, we were with people and like the plan was like we were leaving the club at like 3 a.m. one night and the people were like, okay, so should we all go take a nap and then get to space? Like, this was a serious plan. This wasn't a joke. It's like people will go home, nap for 2 hours, and then they'll go to space at like 6 a.m. Oh my God. What the fuck is going on there?

I don't know.

I told Natalie, I was like, why don't people just start drinking at like 5 p.m.? It gets dark around 7. Why don't they just bring it back earlier? Why is like, why do people go to Miami? Why do people go out in Miami so late? Like dinner, you go get dinner at 10 PM, which is ridiculous. In LA, you get dinner 7 PM.

Yeah.

8 PM, right? Regular dinner time. I don't know. It's a fucking really bizarre place.

I guess it creates a certain mood if you're out at 6 AM, right? A mood that's created that isn't happening at 10 PM.

What the fuck? What is that mood?

12?

I've never been a fan of that mood.

It's a mood of, it's a mood of anything is possible. It's almost like an outer space kind of vibe, like, like, hey, we're up at 6 AM, no one else is up.

So it creates that anything is possible is actually the opposite of what I get. I, I, for, if I'm up at 6 AM and the sun's up, I get nothing is possible. I get my, my, the rest of my week is ruined and nothing's ever getting done.

Every time I'm there, it just feels like time is just not real. It's not a real thing because it's just like you're up at whatever hour you want to be up at, you eat at whatever hour you want to eat at, you do whatever at any hour, you know.

What's, what's the city city that gets the name "it never sleeps"? Is it Vegas? Vegas never sleeps? The city never sleeps? Or is it New York? Either of those don't deserve it. It's definitely Miami.

It's definitely Miami.

It's New York. Oh, it's New York?

Yeah, it's the Sinatra song. Okay. I wanna wake up in a city that doesn't sleep.

Okay, I don't agree. I don't agree. I don't know. But that could just be me.

That's why I'm always in Miami.

You go through the whole song. Oh yeah, it is New York. Did I ever talk to you about, so, I'm name drop here, but it's the only way to get through to this point. I'm friends with Lando and Charles, that race in the F1 race. And I should say friends, like I should say it lightly, like sure, we've DM'd from time to time. Lando DM'd me like 5 years ago to come out to a race and we've just kept in touch ever since. And same with Charles. And Charles, I think, like, is that a big name drop?

No one knows who you're talking about.

Charles Watts. Well, in the F1 community, it's really big.

I know, in that niche community. But yeah, yeah, yeah.

But Charles is like a big racer, makes probably $100 million a year, whatever.

Okay.

And have we talked about this where Jonah asked him for tickets once?

Oh my gosh, no.

And it was— and he's a— Charles is a very busy guy, I'm sure, as any racer is. And Jonah like DM'd him, was DMing with him because he's like, I want to come out to race. Charles is super nice and is like getting— getting— going to help him get tickets. But Jonah was giving him the impression that I was also coming to this race.

I think we've talked about it, but I do remember this.

Do you remember this?

Yeah, but we haven't talked about it.

We never said on the pod.

No, no, no, no.

Yeah.

So like, so funny.

So like, Jonah was like, yeah, yeah, yeah. Like, like, dude, we have so many Jonah stories that we go through on this pod because it's just literally endless.

Just add him.

Yeah, we should just add him to the pod. But, but he was— this is Charles Leclerc we're talking about. And Jonah was like, hey, so my buddy David wants to come to a race. I'd love to come with him. That's how he basically started out the DMs. And Charles was like, great, let me get on it. And this was very late. This was like 2 days before a race or something. So like, Charles should not be worrying about getting me fucking tickets, let alone, Jonah, for an F1 race. And then Jonah contacts me like a day before the race. Where is it being held? I have no fucking idea. It could be Vegas, could be Miami, could be wherever. And I'm like, dude, I can't go to this race. I don't have time this week. I can't get there. I just like, well, I already told him you're coming.

So crazy.

And like, it's like, God bless him.

He gets it done.

To name drop me before even asking. And then he had to go back and tell Charles. He's like, hey, it's just me coming. David's not coming. And then Charles all discombobulated. Populated because he probably told the brand or something that like there's gonna be some posting about it or something. And now poor Charles is like, well, fuck.

I've had that. I had that with a celebrity in New York who reached out to me. I was like so excited. I was in New York like shooting podcasts and he's like, yo, you're in New York? And I was like, yeah. I was like, yeah, you want to get together? And he was like, yeah, yeah. He's like, that's awesome. And then I saw the text, I was like, can't wait to see you guys. And I was like Uh-oh. And I text back, I'm like, David's not here.

Oh my God.

And then silence.

No way. No way.

That's fucked up.

Yeah, that is fucked up.

Wait, wait, wait, who reached out to who?

He reached out to me, like, just on DMs on Instagram. And when I saw the DM, I was like, oh, I was like, damn, this is sick. I was so excited. And then, um, and then nothing. And I was like, as soon as—

when—

as soon as he said that, I was like, uh, he thinks David's here too. I'm like, this is— this is over. And let me end this. See you guys here.

Hell yeah, just me tonight. But, huh, this is really funny.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, I mean, I try to— I try to be really good about that, but it is annoying because you'll get phone calls from people and then they'll be like, and so what's, um, yeah, so what's happening with views? Uh, and you'll be like, uh, it's just audio right now, blah blah. And, uh, oh, okay, well, great talking. You know, it's, it's, it is annoying. People do, people do try to get through. People try to get to you through me. It sucks. Yeah, it's a shitty feeling.

That's really annoying. So you never met up with this guy in New York?

No, no, no, no, no.

Damn. Yeah, well, that's tough. I'm sorry. Next time just call me. Maybe I'll— maybe I'm in the area.

Do you ever feel like people— have you ever made friends with somebody and then you're like, oh, they're only here because they know me?

They're only here because they know me? For sure. Yeah, like Ilia and John.

No, no, no, I mean like people's—

No. Yes, 100%. But there is like some level of like, obviously, right, in L.A., you're friends with people just because of who you are.

Yeah.

And it's very much vice versa. It's one, it's like this security and safety thing where we both do the same thing so we could trust each other to not be like assholes. Do you know what I mean?

Yeah.

And then it's also this other thing, like, it's like I'm a fan of this person's work and they're a fan of what I do, right? I feel like in this world you can make friends and I use the word friends Yeah, a lot easier and more difficult than anywhere else because you kind of already know them from the internet or from online or from like whatever they've created. So like it's easier for you to be like, I just love this person, and it's easier for you to buy into that. Is it easier to have like a lifelong connection to this person? No, it's probably actually tougher because like you come in for maybe the wrong reasons or you're sold a different version of this person. So yeah, that for sure happens like all the time. But I, but I know what it— like, I feel like a lot of people know what it is. Like, I'm not going to like I'm not going to have Bono from U2 call me and become his friend right away. I don't know how to explain it.

I'm not sure that's what I was asking. I think what makes me mad is when people are like, people befriend Naveen, but they're really just there to get a peek at me. You know what I mean? I've had that.

That happens to me all the time.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

With David especially.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

So many girls act like they're my best friend. And they'll go, "Oh, I've never seen the videos." Oh God, I fucking hate when they fucking hate that.

But you already like, you already know that they know the video, you know what I mean?

Like, we've already said things earlier than I did proves the fact that they know who you are.

They know what you do.

They've seen stuff and then they're like, I never even watched.

Yeah, well, it's just lame.

But it is also fair to say I've never seen the videos because like, like there's so many people I meet that I'm like, there's no fucking way you've ever seen a video.

You just know you don't have to see every video or like know the whole life story. It's just like It's okay to be aware of who you are and what you do. It doesn't make you weird.

It's like a weird comment to make.

Yeah. Like nobody cares. Nobody asked. Nobody cares. If you watch the videos, love you for that. If you didn't, also love you for that.

Yeah. But don't come in like saying like, oh, like, oh, I don't know who you are when you're like, you do. Like, I know you do.

Okay.

Because I've heard you tell other people that you know who I am. You know what I mean?

I guess. Yeah, I guess that's shitty. But yeah, like, like, like, don't— like when you're growing up, you think the way to meet like anybody is like by being Like, there was like a movie on Disney Channel, Starstruck or something, and it was like about a girl meeting a celebrity and she doesn't know who he is and that's why he likes her.

Yeah, right.

Which is like, this is kind of funny because it's so much better to be— every celebrity I've met, I like fucking tell them everything, right? Me too. Like everything. I'm just like, too much. Robert Downey, well, I couldn't tell him everything because I panicked, but like every like celebrity that I love, I'm just like, I spill it all. I'm like, I fucking love you for this, this, this, this, this. But yeah, okay, I guess, I guess that makes sense. I don't know. But also going back to what you're saying, I guess this goes against what I was saying, is like I'm very, like, I very am on the no new friends wavelength.

You are?

Yes.

Oh, that's so funny.

Like, I'm so bad at it. Like, I don't care to entertain any new friend. Like, I'll be nice to you, but like, but like if you ask me to like make plans in the future, it's like, it's really never happening.

Like, that's so funny. You've locked the friend door.

Yeah, because, dude, I have, like, the back— I have too many hometown friends here. Yeah, to the point, like, I was talking to all of them the other day on the couch. I'm like, is anybody else doing it like us right now?

I wonder if there's any other celebrity that has my friend.

My friend Alex was like, I actually— my friend Alex from my hometown was like, I actually just went over to Oliver Tree's house and he lives with his 4 hometown friends too. Oh, wait, actually, shut the fuck up. And I was like, does he have a pickleball court? I was like, no, he doesn't. I was like, phew. That's amazing. No, but yes, that is— yeah, I have like such a good circle, which dude, I know I keep bringing up on the podcast, but it's driving me nuts to think about that other people aren't living with all of their hometown friends. I just can't do it. But in any situation, whether I was living in Hollywood, in Atlanta, or in fucking Charleston, I don't know, where is that? Somewhere. There's a Charleston.

South Carolina.

Yes, that's where it is. Like if I was living anywhere doing anything, I would need to live with the people I grew up with. I'd go crazy. I'd go crazy. I would go— crazy making new friends, because making new friends is so crazy. Hometown friends aren't just friends that you've known for a while. They're part of your DNA. Like, my friends have molded me into who I am. They have like literally cooked me into the person I am. So that's why I could never get in a fight with them or have a falling out, because they are just so embedded in my DNA that it's unlike anything else.

And you know, you know, their ulterior motives, like, yeah, they don't have any.

They don't have any.

They've loved you when you were no one. And if they do, It's nice.

Like, and if they do, like, it just doesn't matter, right? Because it doesn't. Yeah, I don't know. I don't even know how to explain. Like, if Jon used me for something, like, there was that one time we did that vlog where we, we did a vlog where we convinced Jon that, like, there was a sheikh in another country or something that wanted to buy my underwear for $10,000. And Jon snuck into my room and grabbed my underwear to go sell to him. But he really, he was just selling it to us.

Dude, it's $10,000.

Yeah, but I'm like, yeah, Jon should do that. Was I confused why John didn't just straight up ask me for the underwear? Oh, because we told him. We were— we, as the Sheik, we were like, you can't ask David for the underwear, you can steal it. Um, yeah, no, like, that didn't bump me at all. Like, my friend's selling something of mine behind my back, I'm like, no, he can sell anything he wants because he's just like— he's, he's me.

In John's mind, I'm sure he was like, well, David would want me to do this. Yes, 100%.

If I found out that he had an opportunity to sell my underwear for 10 grand and he didn't take it, then I'd be upset, right? I'd be like, well, that's stupid, John, you could have paid off all your college tuition. Did you ever see who weighed in on a very controversial topic?

Who?

Well, the topic is 100 gorillas versus 1 man.

Oh yes.

Which has been taking the internet by storm.

Yes.

Robert Irwin, Steve Irwin's son. You know Robert Irwin, right, Jay?

Yes, of course. Crocodile Hunter.

Finally weighed in on it.

Wait, is that right?

Yeah, the Crocodile Hunter's son. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Is Robert Irwin, beloved by the internet, is an incredible dude. He finally weighed in on the whole topic. And it was a really funny take he took on it because he basically— his take was like, why would you guys want to fight a gorilla when gorillas are endangered? It was a really Robert Irwin way of like looking at it. He goes, basically, he goes, he doesn't go, how many people does it take to kill a gorilla? He goes, how many people does it take to save a gorilla? It was really, really sweet.

It's cute. I saw MSNBC. I was like, turn on MSNBC, and they had it on there.

They were talking about how many guerrillas?

They had like an hour about it.

What?

Like, there's so many things going on in the world, but they brought in experts, and they even like had like a digital recreation, like a CGI of the guerrillas, and then they brought people in and they were like, well, there's—

Well, what was their take on it?

They were resoundingly, the 100 men would win.

Really?

Because the guerrilla, Well, 9 times as strong. Tires out.

Tires out.

Yes. Tires out quickly.

I've seen that. I just saw a video of 2 bears fighting.

Yeah.

And they were going like— I'm sure the force they were using was like immaculate.

Yeah.

But I do think that after the gorilla would kill like 10, 15 people, he'd be so fucking tired.

That's just not like— he can kill 10, 15 people so quickly. It's like literally like helicopter his one arm. Boom, 30 people are dead.

No, no, but you don't understand what effort it's like. Back to my bear video. They were helicoptering each other for like 15 seconds and then they were fucking laying on top of each other like they just fucked for an hour. Like, just like so tired. They get these— I think I'm not an animal expert, but these animals use so much energy so quickly that they have to take a break. And I think, yes, human number 1, 2, and 3 I'm so sorry, but you're being decapitated like immediately. But I think once we get to human 30, 40, 50, the girl is just going to be laying there and just taking a beating. And that's what it is. I've totally switched. I don't know where I was before. I think it was I was voting for the gorilla, but now I've decided it's just this. It's not possible. I had another crazy discovery the other day. This is going to sound fucking insane, and I've been thinking about it for the past 24 hours. Yeah, I've never been— I'm 28 years old. I've never been on a plane with any member of my family.

That's so crazy. It doesn't even make sense.

Is it that fucking crazy? I've never been on a— as a guy who's taken a fucking incredible amount of flights.

Yeah, maybe 1,000.

I don't know. A lot of flights. I've never been on a flight with any member of my family.

Is that something you should fix?

No, I mean, I don't know.

I think it kind of makes you sound like you're the problem.

We've taken, like, when we used to not— when we used to be kids, we would just drive everywhere.

Yeah.

I think the furthest we went was like Florida. So we drove. We moved from Ohio to Illinois. We drove.

Yeah.

We went from Illinois to Wisconsin to the Dells. We drove. From Slovakia to America, my first journey, I flew by myself. No family. And that's it. From Chicago to LA when I moved here, obviously I came by myself, but also drove. And then when I started making money, it was all work. So I flew on my own.

When I started making money, I stopped talking to my family entirely. That's crazy. I've never flown with my sister or my dad.

Yeah, but you've flown with your— I've flown with your mom.

Yeah, I've flown with my mom because she chose to be a part of everything that we do.

Yeah, but I don't know. I think that's crazy. Nat's flown with her family.

I mean, yeah, I fly with my family literally everywhere.

I want to do that. I want to go get a big Nash family reunion, but it's so expensive.

I feel like now that, like, at least your siblings are older, like, maybe you guys will take more trips.

Yeah, now it'll happen with my siblings. I really want to take like a Paris trip, like going out and celebrating. Natalie's been telling me that I need to stop with life experiences.

He has like this thing where he's like kind of ticking things off. Like, oh, I haven't done— like, we've done so much. We've seen so much. And he's like, you know what? We haven't gone to the Maldives and seen the beautiful blue crystal clear water.

Natalie said this thing the other day, or somebody said it in the house, and they go, the Earth's pretty small.

Oh my God.

It's the most fucked up thing I've ever heard, but I kind of feel it.

Wait, what were you saying?

Well, he's just been ticking off places and things, and I'm like, well, maybe we should just ease up on checking everything off.

Yeah, brother, you better ease up. You're going to have nothing left.

That's what I said.

I was like—

Oh, okay. So you don't think it's fucked up what she said?

No. Havana with her. Like, you should—

the Earth's pretty small on your—

on your dime.

Because when she said it, I was like, that's like the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard. But like, yes, because I'm very— I don't know, bro.

Endless money, no kids, no girlfriend. You're gonna run out of places to go, you know what I mean? Like, you can go anywhere. It's incredible. Yeah, like, slow down, save some— save some spots.

No, because I feel like the only thing— the only reason I'm motivated by travel is literally to tick things off. I think that's why I was so excited about the Seven Wonders. Was because it was a numerical number that I can tick off. Like, that's why I was so excited about it. Like, my greatest joy is on the couch with my friends, and there's nothing better.

Well, maybe there's something in your brain, like, after you go everywhere, then you can fully rest and sit on that couch.

Oh no, 1000%. That's literally what I said.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

That's what I'm saying. That's my problem, is that he's not going to fucking leave the couch.

Someone invited us to Monaco, and I literally was like, I was like, "Oh, great. That's one of the last places I haven't been." And then I was like, "Oh, okay. We're not doing that yet." And Natalie was like, "We're not going to Monaco now." Yeah.

Sounds like a good opportunity, actually.

Yeah. Well, Natalie doesn't want me to do anything exciting anymore because she thinks I'll kill myself at the end of every day.

It's a concern.

I'm worried about you. And I'm like, "Well, I mean, it's just like I've been—" Well, he's been having a bunch of existential thoughts.

Yeah.

He's leaving his body. I know.

He's disassociated.

Yeah.

People are DMing me about it, though. They're like— What'd they say? David, are you in your body right now? Are you out? I've been getting the funniest DMs about this.

It's depersonalization syndrome. Yes. I looked it up. What does that mean? Depersonalization, where you're not in reality.

You can view— you're viewing yourself from up above, essentially. It's like a mental health thing. Wow.

It's a mental health issue. Like I'm a god? Yeah. Now you have a mental health issue. Well, wait, like I'm a god?

That's so funny.

Our two different takes on it.

David, you need help.

Oh, my God. Mental health issues. Yes. Okay. Yes. Everyone has them, so I don't know.

Yeah, everyone does. Yes.

I want to start taking Adderall, though. Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.

It fries your brain. Really? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Going into your tummy.

In your tummy. You're just dissolving it like a Skittle.

When you say tummy now, it sounds pretty good.

You break it down like it's. Like, it's a chewy snack.

I mean, Adderall's terrible.

Okay, I didn't know that. I thought it was just—

Especially if you don't have ADHD and you don't need it.

Yeah, I don't know.

Everyone has ADHD, brother.

I'm just saying, like, an Adderall addiction, like, is not— it's just gonna fry your brain out. Okay, okay.

I think.

Yeah, I mean, any prescription medication is— Regardless.

Yes.

It's my favorite word you say on the podcast. Why? Because it's being right? Regardless. Because when I'm editing, I'm like, fuck yeah, regardless. I'm like, oh, Davey, fucking nailed it, regardless. Because you can go anywhere from regardless. Yeah, yeah.

And you could put it in after anything. Yeah, anywhere.

Regardless.

You could literally go from where I go, I just got robbed, to regardless. Regardless. Take Adderall, beat those gorillas. Natalie pisses really loud. It's like me rapping everything.

Hey, I heard you lost the ring. Oh, shit.

Yeah, Natalie lost her Seven Wonders ring, which is crazy. I don't really know how to put a price on it other than the greatest experience of our lifetime.

I know, I know, I know.

You're so funny. You're so sentimental.

But to be fair—

No, I mean, I was pretty upset about it too.

Am I sentimental or am I like—

You are about certain things. Yeah, you are very sentimental.

I'm very sentimental about material objects. Like one material object. I think I hold things. Oh, what does it mean when you— when like your soul is trapped in something like an artifact? An artifact? Yeah. Yeah. I think I hold things as artifacts. Sure. Like my Kids' Choice Award. Holds my memories, and then my videos, like, is also, like, holding my memories. So, like, Natalie's ring to me holds all the memories of that trip. Yeah. Is that what an artifact is? Yeah. I mean, yeah, you know what I'm saying though.

But I can't be mad at Natalie for losing that ring because she wore that more than fucking anybody.

Yeah, I wore it every day.

Do you think the robbers, like, knew you and they were like— they saw The Kids' Choice and they're like, oh, we can't do— we can't do Dave like that. For sure.

That was literally his first thought.

That was my first thought because I saw Kid's Choice here, and then that's where I saw the note. Yeah, I saw the note by the Kid's Choice. I'm like, I know what— I know what this note says. I immediately went to— they left this here for me. They're like, we're only here for the cash. We're not here to bum you out, brother.

One guy grabs it, the other guy goes, nah, put that back.

Um, yeah, no, I guess that's where I hold like— yeah, that's where I hold my That would have been a really personal attack.

Yes, it's Joyce in the Streamys, and you know, it's like, uh, like this is something—

don't take my Kylie Jenner collab Streamy, please, please.

Wait, Nat, so what happened?

You lost the ring? Regardless, Natalie lost— Natalie lost the ring that we got that was made out of Christ the Redeemer in Rio de Janeiro when we were there. The guy gave it to us.

Yeah, the stone of Christ the Redeemer was crushed up and put into a gold, which is Big deal.

When I sent that to—

yeah, I'm sorry. Like, I've seen, heard you say it a million times. Christ the Redeemer is a figure from like the big statue in Brazil. Okay, so, oh, so it's a piece of stone from that statue.

Yeah, so that statue is made up of 30,000 like little stones. Okay. And some of those stones fall off when they got—

did you make up 30,000?

Yeah, yeah, sounds good.

More than 30,000.

30 million, dude.

Yeah, that fucking statue is huge. 30,000 little stones would get you like a puppy-sized statue. Oh shit.

30,000.

Yeah, but when we gave those stones to our jeweler. Yeah, his boss had to call and be like, was this like— did you guys obtain this legally? Yes. And we're like, yes, the guy who takes care of the stat— because it's like such a crazy thing to get. The guy who takes care of the statue, like, I think pieces of the statue fall off from erosion, and that's how he gets in. That's how he gave it to us. So yeah, what?

Just like when you use big words like erosion. Erosion? Yeah, I don't know, I just think it's not that—

enchilada. When precipitation occurs. Yeah.

I like when his vocab comes along. Yeah.

Sometimes it'll come by and surprise you.

I don't have much.

When he says a big word, you're like, oh, he rehearsed that. Yeah.

He was like ready.

It's really funny how long I've been out of school for. The other day I had to sign things for, um, um, like we made like a purchase on something and the guy has to come and, uh, what is it called?

The notary comes.

The notary comes and he has to get your signature. And I asked him for the date and he goes, it's May, it's May 5th. And I go, that's not what I'm at. I go, what's the year? That's how long. Wait, what? Because I get my years really mixed up. Yeah, really mixed up. And I don't ever write the date on anything. It's very rare where I'm ever signing anything on paper. And when there's not a scrolly thing where it ends 2025, Then it's hard for me to know what year it is because I get 2024 confused with 2025. So I always think we're in the last year. So he had explained to me that it was the last year. But yes, my vocab has also stopped in like the year 2014.

You know, that's like a joke. That's like an old joke. Like, that guy doesn't know what year it is.

Yeah, for sure. But I'm not kidding.

You definitely are out of your body. Yeah. So wait, what happened?

I've achieved the status.

So it's a stone. He puts the stone in a ring and he gives you the ring.

And David gave me the ring.

Oh, you made the ring. You had the ring made.

He had them made for us. Yeah.

Okay.

And I wore it every single day since we got it. And I don't know, I must have like— I still have my other rings on, but I guess that one just slipped off my finger.

Maybe it's like a religious thing and you've sinned too many times and it's evaporated off your ring. Another word. Oh my God. How many words can I use?

That are related to weather?

That have to do with climate and weather change.

Dave's in the pocket. It.

Um, yeah, so then I asked David, I was like, do you have an extra?

Hold on, let's get that clean for Jason. Anyways, go.

Anyways, regardless, anyways, I asked David if he had like an extra stone because I'm pretty sure he's like saving some of them. Yes. And if I could make another, like I'll pay for it myself obviously to get it remade, and I probably won't wear it as often anymore. But, uh, yeah, he said yeah, I do, but that's going to cost you.

I have stone leftover, but they're for my kids and for my wife. Oh, so I probably—

it's probably the other half of my stone.

So if Natalie— yes, if Natalie maybe marries me one day, then she will get a new ring. But no, I'm saving, I'm saving that for my family. That's nice. I want my family to have those rings.

I really actually can't have it. What?

I can't make you another ring. Wait, what? Yeah, I can't. They're actually from— it's actually from my family.

Okay, well, I want my— the other half of my stone back then. No.

Okay, wait, wait, what do you mean your other half?

Yes, because he gave us— he gave us 4 stones. Each of us got a stone.

Yeah, and David just took all—

I just took all the stones to make the rings. But to be fair, my stone was huge, so I have some leftover. Natalie, your stone was little. It only accounted for 1 ring.

Your stone is the stone that broke. Nah.

Yeah, you actually had the tiniest stone. Anyway, cut.

Were you drunk when you lost it?

I mean, of course, yeah, but like, I don't know how it got off my finger.

That's what hurts. Did you— you were drunk and you're like, fuck.

Yeah, that sucks. Now you have to look at your alcohol. I used to wear these fucking Cartier rings, these love rings. I remember. Just so stupid. And one day we went to Venice. And we played soccer on the beach. One day I lost all 3 in one night. It was incredible. I don't know why I was wearing 3 at the same time. This is the last time I ever wore rings. Yeah. And they just all slipped off my fingers one by one. And I lost them on the beach, which is like, I don't know, which I guess that just goes to show, like, what's the point?

Don't wear jewelry. I'm so afraid I'll lose my wedding ring.

Did you see?

I'm for sure going to lose my wedding ring.

Once I have one. You know you're in trouble when you lose your wedding ring, Dave.

Oh, that's tough. But my wedding ring, I'm gonna hope it basically grows around my finger.

Well, no, if you lose any weight, you really can lose it.

Don't worry, once I'm married, I'm just gaining. That ring is gonna be stuck on there forever. But what was I gonna say? Did you see there's a serial killer? Yeah.

Oh my gosh. 8 bodies.

What?

8 bodies? Yeah.

What do you mean? Wait, what?

That's what some guy told me at a party the other day. We were talking, we went to this going away party.

I don't believe you just said that. We were talking about it.

Let's look it up, you're right. You're right.

There's a serial killer running around North Hollywood. I told this to Natalie yesterday. She got really stressed out last night.

We landed at like 1 AM. We're driving home. I'm so excited. I could not be looking more forward to my bed. And then David turns to me in the car. He's like, you know, there's a serial killer in North Hollywood right now. And I was like, and I literally just stone cold froze, turned to him and I was like, you did not just fucking say that.

Yeah, I've never seen her react like that. And I was like, oh, I thought we were just like, because we just landed in Sherman Oaks, we're back. I was sharing facts about what's happened since we've gone.

I know what you wanted. You wanted to get her to your house because you were scared. Well, that's what was going on.

That is what happened. Natalie did spend the night at my house, and then she also called her dad, who's now flying out and going to spend the next couple weeks at her house. Please don't worry. So she has somebody there. Because yeah, the serial killer is like being a real serious And, and all the comments— so there's a bunch of TikToks going around about explaining the, the serial killer, but all the comments are like, he only has one kill, why are we giving him the title of serial killer? Which is so weird. I'm like, why are you guys antagonizing this guy? He's gonna be reading these comments, he's gonna be like, I'll show dumb serial killer. Yeah, like he's really gonna step it up now because who cares? Even if he's got one attempted kill, can you just give him the title so we could Let this man rest so he doesn't keep doing it. But apparently police officers are saying that they think he has more bodies that we don't know about yet. It's one confirmed kill, and then there's multiple— linked to others, and he's running around the town where we live, which is really, really scary. Terrifying. What'd you find, Jay?

I don't know, my internet got shut off. I'm just kidding. I don't know, nothing. It's— it, it said it could be up to 17 bodies, but I don't know.

I knew right when you went to go look it up it wouldn't give us anything.

Yeah, yeah, I can't really find anything on it.

I guess the problem is you don't know if there's— I'm sure there's 17 dead bodies out there, but you don't know if he did it.

There may be a serial killer among us. Have you ever killed anybody, Jay? Um, yeah. Do you have— I've done it. I could.

I definitely could. What the fuck?

That was a real serial killer.

Naveen said serial killer the other day. That was the first I heard about it, and I was like, oh damn, is that like a TikTok person that like fucking does cereal? Like edible cereal? That's literally what I thought.

I just haven't heard serial killer in a while. Don't try to change the subject. You just looked at me and you said you could kill.

Yeah, not for fun, but for, you know, if I was like, if I was in harm's way. Oh, you know what I mean?

Would you take a bullet for somebody? Yeah. For anybody?

Yeah, there's maybe about 10 people.

Oh, Jesus, that's a lot.

Like if you were on the street—

Very few people.

If you were on the street and like a random person was about to get shot. Yeah. And they pointed— the shooter pointed to you and was like, hey man, I'm gonna kill this person or you. What do you say?

Oh no, I run. I run. But I'm saying if it was like my kids, I'd take a bullet.

Oh, you wouldn't take a bullet for a random person?

For a rando? No, not a rando.

You don't think it'd be tough to live with that guilt? No. Oh, you have kids. You see things completely differently.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I got to be alive for these kids. All right.

Regardless, that's all the time we have for today's podcast. Thank you guys for listening. Thank you, Jason Nash, for joining me. Natalie, for joining me. Go listen to Jason's pod. We'll see you. It's called All Good Things.

All Good Things.

We'll see you guys soon. Bye. Deuce.