Dealing Drugs in Miami

What's up guys? Welcome back to Views, the podcast where, um, Jason and I talk about stuff, try to take up 40 minutes of your day.

Yep. Um, you'll never ever get it back.

It's funny cuz usually when you tell people that you listen to podcasts, it makes you sound intelligent.

Mm-hmm.

But if you're listening to this, this is not that situation.

You are a dumb fuck.

You are a dumb fucking idiot. Enjoy 40 minutes of this stupid podcast, you bitches. That's one way to win over your audience. All right, roll the intro music. I'm David Dobrik. That's Jason Nash. This is The Views Podcast. We're in Chicago today. Yeah, we got here a little bit early.

6:00 AM. 6:00 AM.

Landed. We landed.

David insists on these overnight flights, which are crushing for me as a 46-year-old with weak leg syndrome.

I love the overnight flights.

I don't know how to— because you're in first class.

Yeah, why weren't you there?

Ah, well, that's a great question. You should bring your friend Natalie over here because I got the word a couple weeks ago. You know me, David, I fucking was broke for 20 years, right? So now that I'm here and arrived and I have a steady gig—

I have arrived. Now that I've arrived to being wealthy, it's very nice. I want to stay.

That's exactly true. And I, and I, I don't take anything for granted, and I never try to bitch and moan about, especially when we travel, because this is really fun to come here, right? I'm getting blogs, I'm doing podcasts. Well, I get a little message from Natalie about a week ago. She just tells me stuff in passing. She gives me no information on all the trips you guys are doing. None. I'm just like, okay, we leave then. And when I ask her, she's so busy, she doesn't. She's like, oh, by the way, so some news, some bad news. And I was like, oh, what is it? She's like, on the way to Chicago, there's no first class seats. She's like, there was, you know, there's basically, you know, saying that maybe what I intimated was that David has a first-class seat and that's it.

Yeah.

And I go, I go, hey, I was broke forever, no problem.

Great, of course. Yeah, you thought I was the only one sitting in first class.

Right, which has happened before.

And then she also called you and she's like, another problem. Yeah, once we get to Chicago, the hotel had no more rooms.

That was— yeah, that was also— she goes, she's like, there's no room, but well, I'll just crash, whatever, and then you'll have a room that night. And I was like, no problem, Natalie. I was digging out of garbage cans a couple years ago, you know what I mean?

And then, and then we get to the airport, we get to the airport, we get on the plane, we're having fun with the crew.

You were in a good mood, which is—

I love.

And, uh, and I get on the plane and I'm like, okay, yeah, go to economy, whatever. And well, well, well, look who's in front of me. Fucking Beyoncé stops gets off in first class and starts putting her bags up. And I was like, oh, are you fucking kidding me? So I guess there was another seat in first class. You just wanted to take it.

Sure.

Yeah.

Yeah.

So that was that. And then I, uh, and then I, and then I go back to economy, which is fine. And there is a, um, a guy had like, I think he had like a 7-year-old on his lap. I swear to God, this kid was so big, you know, because you can fly with a kid on your lap.

Yeah.

And not have to buy a seat. Well, he chose not to buy a seat, 'cause I was like, I couldn't find my seat. I see this giant kid, and like, there's no seats, and I'm like, 12A, 12A, 12A, and I turn to him like, is that my seat with your giant kid sitting in it? And he's like, oh yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, no problem. So this kid basically like slept across me the entire flight.

Oh, he was sitting on the dude's lap?

Yeah, he was in the middle seat with his baby, who was giant, and he was really nice. You know, I also feel for people with kids, like, right away, 'cause I've done it and I know how awful it is. And then the guy to his right was not having it.

Listen, I love your giant baby story, but finish the fucking thing. And then we got to Chicago, we landed. Jason knew he didn't have a room.

So then we got to the hotel, and I assumed that we were all gonna be staying in one room until the other rooms were ready. And guess what? Guess who has her own fucking room? Fucking Destiny's Child. Fucking Queen Lemonade over there.

Natalie had her own room, and she looks at me and she goes, you and Jason should share. I go, I go, what? Jason had to fucking— and she's like, don't worry, there's 2 beds. And I went in my room, there's 1 fucking bed.

I don't know, did she just make that up?

I don't know, she literally made that up on the fly. And you know what she texts me? She texts me— she, she got to her room and she texted me. The first text she sends me, she goes, these rooms are fucking huge. Actually, she's in a room by herself.

I have plenty of to take someone else on, but I'm not going to.

Yeah, as Jason is over here putting together 4 chairs to sleep on and took some towels from the bathroom so he could rest his head. And I was even like, I was even like, Jason, I honestly, I even said, I was like, I'm younger, I'll just sleep on the couch. And he goes, and he goes, no, I don't want to go on the bed. My feet are stinky. And I go, holy fuck, you're right. And I locked, I locked the door to my room. Um, he didn't want to go on my bed because his feet were sticky, which is very justified. I didn't even argue. I wasn't even going to pretend to be nice at that point.

I think— no, I think you just were very matter-of-fact about it. You're like, okay, that's a good point.

Like, like, some people would maybe like bullshit and be like, nah dude, don't worry about it, come, come sleep in the bed. Yeah, but I was like, no fucking way.

No, I wouldn't put that on you.

That's—

my feet are gross because I didn't— I choose not to wear socks. I don't know, because I'm— my back is so bad I can't Put socks on.

Did you shower this morning? No.

Okay.

I mean, I don't have a room. I mean, I'm going to. I mean, I will see how this podcast goes, see how long it takes us. David said something really funny. So it was like 6 AM and I was like kind of jacked a little bit because I had a Starbucks at the airport on the way in. And then he came in like my dad and was like, you gotta go to bed. And I was like, oh, I don't know, I might go out and vlog. Walk around.

Fucking Jason. Jason, we got here, we landed at 6 AM. And Jason hates taking overnight flights, and he always bitches me out for them. So then we landed, and he's like, "I think I'm gonna go out and vlog." It was like 6:30 in the morning. I was like, "You fucking go to bed right now, because I know you're gonna be a crabby bitch later." And he was like, "Okay, fine." So he fucking laid down. I go back in my room, I hear him on his phone. So I come out, I'm like, "What the fuck are you doing? Go to bed, go to bed." I was looking at pizza videos. And because like, I know he won't complain about being tired later, but in like 4 weeks when I ask him to go to Chicago again, I know he's gonna go, "Nope, David, last time we went, I threw my back out, I couldn't sleep. We just landed and we started going right away. We had no time to sleep." So I was like, "Fucking go to bed so I don't hear you bitching about it later." Well, obviously Natalie doesn't complain about going to Chicago 'cause she's in a giant room in a first-class seat. She has 5-star service.

I mean, this is crazy. What is her role in Dobrik Industries at this point?

To swipe my credit card. She fucking—

I think she's your boss.

She's either— yeah, she's either fucking—

Is she gonna let you live in your house anymore?

I don't know. I have a feeling I'm gonna— I have a feeling I'm gonna have to call Ilya soon and be like, yo, I think Natalie just kicked me out. I need a place to fucking stay. Natalie, I don't know. I don't know who's working for who at some point. I'm glad she's enjoying my credit card amenities. At least she's racking up points for me.

Yeah, yeah, I'm sure you got a lot of miles.

The other day, my new assistant Taylor, she's really good. We had a new assistant, I don't know if I've talked about this on the podcast, but she's really on top of things. And yesterday I was sitting on the couch and she had like a bunch of money in her hand. I was like, just put the money on the piano. And then she starts walking away and I fucking, I realize, I was like, we don't have a fucking piano, what am I saying? And she's walking away to put the money somewhere and I'm like, Taylor, hold on, where are you going? We don't have a piano. And I meant to say pool table. And Joe goes, I think she's going to buy you a piano so you don't feel bad. Because that is something Taylor would do. Yeah. Having a new assistant around the house, it's great. I just realized how it would be if I had one assistant. Because fucking Natalie— no, Natalie's great, but she does different things than Taylor does. Taylor keeps the house in order. And Natalie keeps—

Natalie handles all your business.

Can you even come up with anything? And Natalie keeps my credit card hot. And Natalie makes sure my credit card is getting enough friction.

It's really funny when you like, you want her to go shoot something, but she's like, I could be spending my time so much better than this.

Yeah.

But you're like taking her like across town to do some bit that you won't use.

Yeah, the poor thing. But she's doing a good job. Hooray for Natalie.

Poor thing.

We'll follow her.

She's getting a massage right now. She's getting an in-suite massage where they come to her door and put guacamole on her face.

She's also already planning some big oven grinder. We're going to have deep dish at 4 o'clock. I already had pizza here.

Natalie's favorite things to plan is where we're getting food. She's like, she'll take charge of that any time.

Oh yeah, yeah, yeah.

That's her number one thing.

I am always amazed. Like, you make the joke that she's always snacking, but I swear to God, I saw her snacking today at one point where we were at baggage carousel. I was like, wow, she really gets after it.

Oh, she doesn't fuck around.

She loves a snack.

She loves snacking. And it's crazy, she'll be in like the worst mood and she'll definitely not want to go out, but if I say we're gonna go get kebabs— yeah, at Jonah's— I've never seen someone change their mood so quickly. She'll literally go, fuck, okay, I'm coming.

Oh, she likes the kebabs, huh?

Loves.

Go for her.

We do this prank on Postmates drivers and like delivery drivers that would come to my house, and we had like different situations going on in my house. You could see it on my YouTube channel. So like one driver came in and my friend was giving birth and she had to help my friend give birth. Another driver came in, there was a cop car that drove through my living room. It was really fun to film, really funny. But there was also like a bunch of other bits that we were filming that didn't make it. Yeah, that didn't make it. So we had one, we had one bit that we wanted to film where, where, where, where the Postmates driver comes in and one, and a little kid goes up to the driver and grabs the food and then turns around, and it's a cafeteria full of kids, and the kid screams, "Food fight!" And all the kids are having like a food fight, and I called it off, 'cause I was like, "Okay, I got enough. I don't need to shoot this food fight bit." And I told Natalie, I was like, "Let's not do it anymore." And then I was like, "Okay, we're not filming that." And then an hour later, I see a kid pull up to my house, and I'm like, "What is this kid doing here?" And Natalie's like, "Oh my God, Seth must have not called it off." And then 10 minutes after that, another kid. And then 20 minutes later, there was 30 kids in my backyard.

Oh yeah.

And I didn't have any idea what to do with them.

They just didn't call them and tell them?

Yeah.

Wow.

And I felt so bad. They were all there, and I was paying for all of them to be there.

Yeah.

I was like, "I gotta fucking come up with something to do." But that was fun. And then we did another bit where we had the driver we had— we ordered a fire extinguisher from one of the drivers, right? And then when the— and when the driver walked into my house, there was a person on fire. So we had— we had a stunt guy come in and he lit himself on fire, and the driver walked in and, and, and, and the guy came out completely ablaze, like on fire. Yeah. And we like, put him out, put him out! And the driver was so confused and he just absolutely just did not know what to do. So we had to put the guy out ourselves because he was on fire for about 25 seconds. These drivers are standing there and it didn't turn out, so I couldn't even put in the video because he was so confused.

It's funny when you light someone on fire and then it doesn't work, and then you hear David go, hey, can, uh, can we light you on fire again? And the guy's like, yeah, sure.

And then, and then it's great to like think through it and go, why didn't that bit work? And then you're like, well, if I was a driver and I walked into someone— yeah, I would, I would kind of be like, I would kind of freeze too. I was like, why the fuck didn't he put him out? And I was like, I guess he didn't put two and two together that he went to get the fire extinguisher. To put our friend out. Jason does this stupid thing where every time he messes up, like right now his phone's been going off and I was like, just turn the ringer off. And he goes, like what, like this? And then he finally did it and I was like, yes, like that, why didn't you do that earlier? And he goes, I don't know, I'm tired. I'm tired, like a toddler. And I know he's not tired, he always blames—

Are you kidding? I had a fucking giant baby sleeping on me the entire way here.

I know you're not tired.

While you slept in that beautiful bed.

You know, I woke up to you out here testing the podcast equipment, having a fucking conversation with you like you were hopped up on fucking 10 coffees. I wake up and I hear Jason going, "Hello, mate, I'm from Australia." This is serious. This is serious. I wake up and he's going, "Hello, mate, yeah, my wife left me for a kangaroo." Fucking coming up with a situation. He's talking to himself, he's interviewing himself, and he's being like, "So what happened?" And then the Australian guy goes, "Well, my wife left me for a kangaroo, mate." I'm testing the audio equipment. Yeah, you have so much energy, and then when you mess up once, you go, "I'm so tired. David, this is all your fault. You shouldn't have had me go on that red-eye." When I know you're not fucking tired because you've already ran around the city fucking vlogging your life away.

Well, that's why I'm tired, because I already vlogged this morning.

We have a fun week ahead of us. We're doing a charity. It's my first time doing any charity work.

Yeah, that's good.

Like officially. I'm kind of nervous.

What are they gonna make you do? Or make us do?

I don't know. Charity's so difficult because I want to do it, but I don't want to be doing charity. You know what I mean? Like I don't want like the, like the, "Oh, he's doing charity." Like it's such a like, it's that's, I've always been so scared of charity because it's such a good deed, but it's such a cliché good deed.

Yeah, people don't look at it like that.

I don't know. It feels to me like, like recording yourself giving money to a homeless guy.

Right.

Like, it feels like the same amount, like, oh, look what I'm doing.

Yeah.

That's why I could— like, that's why I always say, like, when I make videos, like, I love doing charity in a way, but I always want to make it cool. So like, I always say, like, like, like, my favorite example is when I went— this isn't really charity per se, like, I'm not helping out people that are dying or sick or anything like that— but like, when I went to In-N-Out and this girl cut me in line, so I decided to pay for everyone behind me.

Right.

Like, that was like cool and fun, But it was like, like the, the goodness of it and like the hidden message behind like giving back was still there. So it wasn't like in-your-face charity because it was still like enjoyable. And I feel like, like I want to do more of that. So I'm kind of like, I'm new to the whole charity thing. I really want to do charity, but I want to find it. I want to do it in a way that's like cool to me and like authentic to me where like, I don't know, I've always wanted to go visit kids in a hospital. I feel like that would be so much fun.

Yeah, that would be great.

Like making kids smile like on a hospital bed. It's probably like, I can't, I can't even imagine.

Josh goes and does does that. Yeah, yeah, I'm sure we could go with them.

Yeah, but like, how do you pick the right kids? Like, what if you walk into a room and the kid's just fucking like, fuck you, where's James Charles? I'm like, fuck, I don't know. Like, how do you, how do you pick the right kid that like likes your videos?

Well, that's, that's the thing. I used to talk to my friend, he used to go entertain the soldiers in Iraq. He was a comedian.

Oh wow.

And he was like, he's not like a really famous comedian or anything, but he just said like when he got there, he'd never been more welcomed by anything. Like, they didn't even know who he was, but they were just like so touched that he came to Iraq to perform in a tent.

Oh, you know, sick.

Yeah, it's pretty cool.

You performed to all the soldiers?

Yeah. I wish that's something I had done. That's like a big regret.

Wow. How do you— yeah, is that like a charity thing?

There's a thing. Yeah, I used to know what it is. There's literally a stand-up.

Does he get paid for that?

I don't think so.

Well, that's sick. So someone flies all the way to Iraq.

Yeah, but you get to fly on like a military-grade plane. Like, it's kind of cool. And then you get there and like they, they guard you the entire time.

And well, I feel like, I feel like it's not even cool. They have to.

I know, but I mean, it's cool, man.

You, when you land in the war zone where bombs are going off, they stand around you and protect you. I fucking hope so.

I know, but isn't that cool that like they're basically like, yeah, we're, we're ready to die for this comedian? No, I see what they say. No, I know, like, yeah, if a bomb comes, he's like, I'll jump in front of it, don't worry about it. Oh yeah, sick.

I mean, yeah, that is, that is cool.

But could you imagine being somebody that like— that's like whenever I meet a soldier, I'm like, so I'm always just like blown away.

What would you say to people who are trying to start YouTube?

Good luck.

I'm just asking generic questions. What would you say if some kid came up to you right now? I was like, I want to start a YouTube channel. I don't know what kid fucking talks like that, but a lot of them.

I get that question a lot at my live shows this weekend, West Palm and Miami.

Fuck you. But tickets almost sold out. Go buy them now.

Zane and Jeff are coming, so is Jonah. I get that question a lot, and I always just say you really, really have to love it. You gotta like really like love. It's like the story you always tell, like when you— it's such a funny story. You're like, I turned the camera on my face and I love looking at my face in the camera.

That's what it was. That's how I found out I love vlogging.

It's kind of true though.

But you turned on Liza's camera, I put up the viewfinder and I was like, this is fucking cool. It's like a mirror but everything's being recorded so I can show everybody else what I'm seeing.

You're not even in the videos that much too.

No, it wasn't, it wasn't like I don't know, I just love the idea of being able to, like a video diary that you can share to the world. I don't know, I think it's so fucking crazy.

I love the idea of like making something and then you post it and then people see it right away.

Yeah, that's crazy.

And then people like comment.

Every time I send out like an Instagram photo, I'm like thinking about the caption, thinking about the caption for like 45 minutes I think about the caption. And then I hit post and then it's on everybody's fucking phone. Anybody in the world can go see that picture now. It's out there. That's insane to me. Yeah, like I post and it's on Corinna's phone in a second. Like, how is that even possible?

And I spent so many years like writing things, or like I would make short films, but there was no internet.

Sure.

So they just sit on my shelf in my fucking room.

Probably better than putting them on the internet.

Probably. And, and so yeah, so just, just that whole concept to me, like always, even with Vine, like, I'm gonna—

I'm gonna be up. I know I'm gonna be making videos for the rest of my life. Like, I know I may not be doing YouTube, but like whenever there's a big event, like whenever like one of my friends is getting married, whenever like I, I, you know, whenever I get married, whenever my kids go on like we go on some vacation, like I will always be the guy with a camera in my hand for the rest of my life.

You think so?

No fucking doubt.

I, I'll bet you money you won't.

Are you crazy? Yeah, I've been—

I promise you, you won't.

I've been doing this since like I was—

look at Casey. Yeah, look at Casey. Casey He did it. He was amazing. He burned a trail for himself like no other.

He still does it.

Yeah, but you can see that like—

No, bro.

I'm telling you, you'll get older, you won't want to do it. I don't think so.

You know what you sound like?

Tell me.

You sound— I know exactly the person I am, like, and I will be.

It's like you're talking to your parents now. You can't tell me who I am.

No, this is exactly what everyone would fucking tell me when I got my driver's license. I was like, I'm gonna— I love fucking driving. I will drive you every day. And they go, yeah, you get over that in like 2 weeks once you have your license. I was like, fuck no, I'm driving a fucking car. This is insane. It's like a go-kart and it's like a fucking tent at the same time. I'm driving around, I could go fucking anywhere I want.

Let me tweet that.

Like, no, like, that's how I felt about it. And I've been recording my friends since I was in middle school, since I had my iPod Touch that had a camera on it. Like, I love doing it. I love putting things on camera.

Okay.

It was just insane to me. You can record stuff. And then when I found a vlog camera that had a— that where you could see yourself, then I was like, oh, this is it. Like, it's game over, right? Like, I'm gonna make videos and I'm gonna post them because this is so exciting.

No, I guess I'm being kind of hypocritical because I'm 46 and I love doing it.

Yeah, I will forever be making videos whether, whether I'm posting them or not. I love— oh, I love looking— I'm not saying I'm gonna be posting YouTube videos.

Oh, I see. Oh yeah, you're just gonna make them.

Oh, I'll stop. There's a chance I'll stop posting YouTube videos in fucking a year or two, right? I'm just saying, for as long as I live, I will always like any big moment that I feel the need to be recorded will 100% be on camera.

Are you gonna film Aaron's wedding?

Yeah, I'm gonna film the— I'll film all of our friends' weddings. Yeah, like 100%. Like, I'm not gonna be there like lead camera guy, but I'm definitely gonna bring in like, like a small camcorder of some sort. Like, whether it's my Canon.

Remember Josh's wedding? You were like, you like didn't know if you could film or not.

Oh yeah, did I film at the wedding? No, I left.

Barely.

No, Josh is different. Josh is You know, Josh is like an adult celebrity that like I'm friends with that I would never do that at. But like with like my friends like Zane, Carly, Aaron, like I'm gonna film the fuck out of it. Yeah, I'm gonna be right under their nose when they're kissing for the first time.

It's so exciting that you guys have all that stuff to come.

Yeah, that's crazy. We're all getting married and that was not even girl—

you guys don't even really have— everybody's single.

Yeah, mostly none of us are like— there's like 2 of us that are close to getting married. Yeah, everyone, everyone else is literally completely single.

Like sometimes I think about like when you come and get me and you're like, "We're going to a club," and I'm like, "Okay, let's go." Yeah. And then, and I think about that way everyone's real jazzed up in the car. Natalie's jazzed up, you're jazzed up, Zane's jazzed up, and then I think to myself, "Oh, will these guys grow out of clubs in like 2 years?" They definitely will. Yeah, and then wonder what will happen then.

I read a comment the other day that was, that said, "This is so sad, but I just realized that I'm gonna be alive for the time Jason Nash passes away." That's crazy.

So like—

There's gonna be—

there's, there's a chance that you could drop dead tomorrow. Yeah, there's a chance that most of us are gonna be around for when you die.

100%.

I mean, unless one of us dies in a freak accident, there's a chance that we're all gonna be alive for your death. Yeah, how fucking crazy is that?

But it won't be that crazy because like you'll be like 60.

You think you think you're gonna make it that long?

Yeah, I think so. Yeah, like you'll already be old.

Sure, sure. I mean, we'll all be the same age at that.

I can't wait until we're the same age. Age, pretty much.

My biggest fear growing up was that I wasn't going to be around— like, like I said, I've said this a lot, but, um, like when I was in college, when I was going to college, like I knew that I have, I have like a personality where I can be friends with basically anybody, like anybody like that I, that I first find. Like the reason I was friends with my friends in high school wasn't because we had a lot in common, it was just because of our location. We were all neighbors, like John, Alex, Michael, We didn't have that much in common. We would always say this, we were so fucking different. John wasn't anything like us, and we would always go, the only fucking reason we hang out is because we're close to each other. We were so aware of that. So I was always scared that when I got to college, I would get in with the wrong crowd. I would start hanging out with the kids that were like, they would abuse drugs, and they were burnouts, and they wouldn't do much. And I was like, those are the people, the people you meet at college, those are the people that you're gonna— you're gonna be at their fucking wedding one day. And I was so scared of that. I was like, ah, I'm like, I don't want to meet the wrong kids, and my entire life is going to be like on this like weird, you know, slippery slope. And I'm so happy I met like all the friends we have now. Like, they're the best friends to have, like, to like celebrate anything with. Like, those are the— I'm gonna be at their wedding, they're gonna be at my wedding. Like, they're gonna be, you know—

you mean your Vernon Hills friends or your Los Angeles?

Both, both. Yeah, like the LA friends and the Vernon Hills friends. Like, it's like so—

Did you meet a wrong kid at college? Did you meet some people you didn't like?

Yeah, I mean, I met a ton of kids where, like, I befriended them and I knew that they weren't good people, right? I couldn't help it because I was, like, either too nice to get myself out of that relationship, or, like, I was just, like, in too deep. Um, so I was scared that was gonna— That was my biggest fear of college. I was like, how the fuck do— Like, I was like, I know my roommate, whoever my roommate is, that's gonna be my best friend, and I'm not gonna have any say over it. That's going to become my best friend. So I was like, I was nervous to pick a roommate. Um, so I was happy I didn't go to college and kind of did it a different way because that was— that drove me crazy.

I didn't think like that at all. I got my roommate, he was awful, and I was like, okay, I'm never going to talk to you.

Interesting. Yeah, maybe that's what would happen, but I was thinking about a different way. All right guys, for the next portion of this podcast, we're actually in Miami. Um, we're in Florida, that's also in Miami. Just want to paint the— want to paint the picture for everybody. We're here with Jeff Wittek.

Hey, what's up guys? I'm Jeff. I'm super excited to be here in Miami showing David around my old hometown.

Yeah, and now why I have— why I thought Jeff would be a very fun person to talk to about Miami was because this is where he made the majority of his income, drug dealing, murdering people, and doing other stuff like that.

Allegedly.

Allegedly. No, no, Jeff never murdered anybody, but this is— this is— so you started your drug dealing— you're— let's make this clear. You're not a drug dealer anymore. You're a full-blown YouTuber.

Yeah, I was, I was never a drug dealer. I was— fuck, you always get me on here to talk about this shit. I did get arrested here for drug trafficking, but I was never a drug dealer except that one time I got caught with 50,000 pounds. You know, it's so crazy hanging out with you guys and just doing the stuff we do now. We have such a nice life. And then I look back at the stuff that I was doing. Who the fuck did I think I was down here by myself? I moved here at 18, 19, and I think the problem was I was really influenced by movies. So I thought that I was Boston George, like, oh yeah, whatever, I'll just go down there, I'll figure it out. You got some cocaine? I'll figure it out.

Sure. Was your life like living in the movies? Was it similar? Like, was it— were you not— I was driving by and there's a bunch of— and when you go into Miami, there's just a bunch of tall standing apartment buildings. Yes. And that's— and all I can think about is the top floors of all those apartment buildings have to be drug dealers or like big kingpins. Is that true or am I exaggerating?

A lot of this was built up off the cocaine business.

Yeah.

A lot of it was. I don't think it is anymore because I think the cocaine— they cracked down here so that it doesn't come in this way anymore.

That's why you moved to LA?

No, I moved to LA to do Vines with you, David. Sure. But yeah, I feel like— I do feel like I was in a movie. I still feel like I'm in a movie. This might sound a little selfish, but I feel like you're all just characters in my movie. But I feel like everybody's like that. Like, Jason's got—

that's how David feels about all of us.

That is— that's— that's— I think that's how the majority of people feel.

Would you say you two are the two biggest narcissists in the group?

No, I am the biggest narcissist.

Well, we also have Jonah here. Jonah, do you feel like you're— we're all in your movie, or do you just feel like you're an extra in our movie and that's your life?

Well, to be honest, for me, when I'm like going about my day, I like turn everything into a scene. So when the cameras aren't rolling, I look at it from like a third-person perspective, like the camera's looking at me, but the camera's not. And it's always a bit— I don't know why, it's weird.

Dude, that movie sucks.

Okay, no, back to it, back to the, back to the whole thing. Okay, so So you moved out here, you basically, you were telling me earlier that you graduated from—

Well, let me be honest, I'll tell you the real story.

Please.

No exaggeration for the fucking vlogs or whatever character stuff. I moved out here 'cause I had a job cutting hair in a barber shop that was opening up and it was gonna be a lot of like celebrities and athletes and 18-year-old me from Staten Island, I was like, oh, this sounds like a dream come true. I get to cut celebrities' hair, I'll be living in like paradise, because this, it looks beautiful here.

Yeah, it's gorgeous.

So, so that's what I originally came down here for. And then I realized I just have the same salary that I had back in Staten Island, and now I have to hang out and live this lifestyle with all of these, you know, you weren't keeping up with the celebrities, just everybody here in this town, or just, yeah, of course, money.

It's a lot more expensive just living.

Yeah, like when you used to sell the waters at Runyon, Oh yeah, on the hiking trail. When you move to LA, you would sell—

I don't know if I told the story on the podcast today. There's like this run— there's this big— there's a Runyon Canyon, uh, is, is huge in Hollywood. It's like this big, um, it's a big canyon where people go hiking, um, and at the bottom of it there's this guy who has a stand and it's donations only, and you can buy water, you can buy soda, you can buy snacks after your hike.

So you ripped off his business, and he has—

yeah, he has a— he has a donation box like at the bottom. He's like, He's like, please be honest, it's the honor system. So you take something and you give him a dollar for the Coke or whatever. And everyone uses it because they're so tired after the hike and there's no water fountains, that's the only way to really get a snack after the hike. And recently I found out he makes, how much does he make like a month?

I heard that he makes $15,000 a week.

A week?

Shut up.

This is what I heard, it could be just gossip.

No, I think you meant a month.

Okay.

I think it's $15,000 a month, which is still fucking crazy.

Still insane from selling waters.

Yeah, $15,000 a month. And he does that, he does that, he lives right next to the little stand he has. And there's no one even working it. It's just, the water's just sitting there. He refills it in the morning and then he leaves. So I thought, I thought, I love this business idea, but he's already got it going. So my friends, my friend and I—

You hired two of the smartest guys you know, Dom and Alex, right?

No, it was my friend Mason. Mason, Dom didn't want to do it, but it was my first roommate Mason, we, a couple days, We took, we went to Target, we bought a bunch of water bottles, we bought coolers, we bought ice, and then in the morning at 4 AM, before people even were on the hiking trail, we took all the coolers up to the top of the trail. So it took us about 45 minutes, and we did 2 trips of taking all these coolers to the top, because I'm like, well, if this guy's making so much money at the bottom of the hill, imagine how thirsty people are at the top of the hill. So I brought all the waters up to the top of the hill, and I put a donation box that said, "Be honest, this is on the honor system." I copied exactly what the guy was doing at the bottom of the hill.

So you weren't worried about stepping on anybody's toes? You're on this guy's territory now. This is his stomping ground.

No, I wasn't worried about it because I considered it like Uber versus Lyft. You know what I mean? Like I was just another player in the game. But it wasn't, we couldn't keep it up because the plan was insane. Because we had to get up at 4 in the morning and carry these huge coolers. And if you know Runyon, it's not an easy hike. Especially when you're carrying like ginormous coolers. So yeah, so we made like, I think we made like $200, $300 the first couple days, but it just, it wasn't worth it because we were just fucking— we'd go there 4 AM.

Too much overhead.

Yeah, we'd get back at 6:30 in the morning and we'd be passed out the rest of the day because, yeah.

Well, dude, you took a risk. It didn't work out this time, but I know that we're both big believers in Everything happens for a reason, right?

Yeah.

And then that got you to doing what you're doing now, YouTube videos. Yeah.

So, and so then, okay, so you're, you're a barber and then you're like, I need to start drug dealing.

I know, I move out here, um, I'm working in the barbershop, I'm doing pretty well, I'm successful for a barber, barber salary, whatever.

Sure.

One day Amber Rose walks in and I'm like, holy shit, you look like Kanye West's ex-girlfriend, or at the time they were dating. And she's like, Oh sweetie, I am Kanye's girlfriend. Can you give me a haircut? And I'm like, holy shit. Like I was fucking starstruck. All these celebrities are coming into this barbershop. I'm 18, 19 years old. I'm seeing, I'm introduced to this whole new lifestyle and I have no money, basically. You know what that's like, Jason?

Have no money? Yeah. It's been my whole life.

Except Jason didn't turn to drugs because he is an intelligent man who worked his way to the top.

Oh my God. Thank you, David. The rare compliment.

I'm kidding. Oh, okay.

Got it. The funniest thing Jeff ever said to me I got it all out of Jeff once, like off camera, off mic. When we went to New York, we had a dinner. He told me everything, and it was really interesting. And the most interesting thing he said is, I kept saying to him, I go, didn't it bother you that like you were gonna get caught? Like, you have all this money, wouldn't that bother you, David? Like, fuck, I'm gonna get caught.

I know I'm gonna get caught.

And he said he actually, what he loved was like the thrill of it, like the chase of it. And that's what kept him going.

Yeah, well, when I was successful.

Once you met Amber Rose, this is when you were like, oh shit, Amber Rose is— Amber Rose is living this life and I want to kind of live this life. So you wanted to elevate your lifestyle and you're like, I need to get into drugs.

I feel like such a pussy saying it with her name specifically. It was a lot more, but yes, but yes, it was. That was part of it.

And then, and then you went to your friends that you already knew through like connections and you went, hey, give me a bag of coke. I'm gonna flip this bitch. I'm gonna make some money. How did that work?

I started going back to a lot of my New York friends. They started trickling down here. This is like, they call this like the 6th borough, Miami Beach. So this is like where people that kind of want to get out of New York, they come down here, and that crime kind of overflowed down to here. And then I'm meeting these people and just putting 2 and 2 together. Like, how'd you get into Vine? One of your friends told you. Like, hey, try this out. And then you saw that there's money.

These comparisons to being an international drug dealer, to being a Viner, it's the same shit, dude.

Sure, you get introduced to something, your friends are doing it, you see that they're dumb and they're successful at it. Oh, this idiot could do this, I could do this too. Yeah, and I could do it better, probably.

100%. Yeah, yeah. Okay, and then, and then you got— you also got busted in Miami.

Well, here's the thing, cutting hair, you know everyone, you meet everybody in that town instantly, like word of mouth spreads quickly, and now I know everyone, so why not? It was just easy. It just kind of happened naturally.

100%. And then you got arrested again because cops came into your house and they found that you were running a small casino gambling thing inside your apartment.

Okay, so a couple of my buddies back in New York, they had this poker game that was doing really well, and they wanted to try it out down here. So I like the idea and I hosted it. I hosted it maybe for like 2 months and then somebody that was playing in the game got in trouble and they snitched on the game and then cops came in, illegal search and seizure. Everything they did was against the law, but Miami Beach cops, you know, they're used to taking down fucking cocaine kingpins, so they don't listen. They don't follow the rules. They just want to bust the bad guys. Which makes sense. It's cool, whatever. They got me, and I wasn't trafficking bricks of cocaine. I wasn't doing like what it looks like what I got busted for. Yeah, I was really just having a friendly card game with friends, and I was taking a little percentage, a little rate.

Card game with friends. It literally sounds like you're talking to a cop right now. Officer, just a friendly card game.

There's probably some cops in here, and this is prop cocaine.

It is not real. We're just painting the illusion. We've seen too many movies.

But when I did get taken out of my house because what I was doing was illegal. You can't have casinos in your apartment. Yeah, so they can't bust you for that if it's an illegal search. So they— that's what I'm saying. What they did was illegal. They broke the law when they arrested me, but that's why they didn't file charges because it was an illegal search. I had a lawyer, they fought it, and I was released.

If it was a legal search and they caught you, I would have been in jail for a long time. How long?

Probably, I don't know, 5 years.

Fuck that.

Yeah.

So, and what's jail like out here?

It was not bad. It was nice. There's palm trees and stuff. It was really beautiful.

Maybe I'll stop by.

When they did take me out, I lived in like a nice like luxury apartment building, and they took all my poker chips. So these poker chips were in white boxes and they had clear evidence bags. So as they're bringing me out, they're taking me past all my valet, my security in the building. And it just looks like they were busting like a major kingpin, like cocaine dealer, and it was all fucking chips in the bags. So when I went back, when I finally got out like 3 months later, they just looked at me like, how the fuck did this guy get busted with like 50 kilos of cocaine and now he's just going back to his apartment? But my cocaine charges were— it was like a little baggie that they had that one of the people playing in the games had to keep them because they couldn't find the rest in the walls. Yeah, yeah, exactly.

They didn't check under the mattress.

I'm allowed to talk about it. I didn't do anything.

Okay, this next part of the podcast is called Jeff Snitches. Jeff is gonna call out— Jeff's gonna call out 10 of his friends and we're gonna get him arrested, and then we're gonna see how long Jeff will last. No, but thank you, Jeff. Thanks for coming on the Views podcast.

Yeah, thanks for having me. I think— I hope I don't go back to jail for this.

Guys, that's all the time we have for today. Thank you for listening to today's podcast. We'll be around next week. Um, yeah, this has been Jason and David. Go check out Jason's stand-up tour. If you, if you need a place to go, please come see me. If you need a place, like, because it's raining outside, you need to be under a roof for any reason, then go see a show.

Yeah, it was a major storm and we stumbled in.

We sold out because it was storming out.

I'm only playing hurricane areas.

But go check out, go check out my merch, The Beverly Collection. Sold out. It's fucking doing great. So wait for the restock for that, and there's new merch, there's new stuff out there. Go check it out, fangirl.co/axelstoberg. Follow me on Twitter, Instagram. Follow Jason on Twitter, Instagram. We'll see you guys later. Bye, my name's Jeff.

Bye-bye.