David Dobrik Sexiest Man Alive

What's up guys, welcome to Views, the podcast with Jason and I. Right now we're actually in Egypt.

Yeah. Oh, look, there's King Tut. I'm so glad we came all this way. This is fun. Do you have any snacks?

No, it is sandy as hell though.

God. Oh, windstorm.

All right, let's just roll the—

No, we can't have that as an intro. That's just so bad.

Really?

So bad.

Just let it go.

I thought you're gonna be on fire. David started this podcast going, I'm on fire because you suck at night and I'm great at night.

I told Jason, I told him, I told him, I told him, I turned the podcast equipment on, I was like, I'm gonna fucking kill it tonight.

And then we had that intro, and which, you know, I don't blame David for it, but he was like, yeah, that was great, let's keep going.

All right, let's just roll that music.

No, we cannot just roll the intro music.

Ah, fuck it, let's just go. No, let's just go. Oh look, here it comes.

Oh, shit. Damn it. How'd you do that?

What's up, guys? This is The Views Podcast. I'm David Dobrik. That's Jason Nash.

We would wish that we'd given you a better intro.

It's not about how you—

David doesn't understand.

It's not about how you start. It's about how you finish. About— yeah. Hello.

About—

yeah, dude, I'm so ahead right now. I'm so into this podcast that I'm already a couple of words ahead. That's why I'm tripping.

I think you're lying to yourself to get yourself into the podcast.

Here we go. Basically, what I was trying to say is, um, what is it? Well, let's backtrack. Okay, we had, uh, we were editing the vlog a couple of hours ago, and for the last 12 hours, yeah, we've been editing for a while, and Popeyes came to our door.

Sure.

And we didn't know where it was from, but we're a household of Popeyes lovers, so we couldn't turn it down. We took it in as our own. Yeah, it's like, yeah, um, we put it on the table and we, we like stood over it like we just like dug up something, you know what I mean? We're like staring over it. Yeah, like it was shining in our faces, beautiful gold fried chicken. Um, and Natalie's like, I'm gonna take a bite. And I go, no, no, no, no, no, no, we can't take bites from people's food. Because like, people will come to our house and they'll drop off donuts or Chipotle, and we're not supposed to eat it because one, there could be razor blades in them, there could be like some kind of a disease. I don't know, we could be getting poisoned.

You're not supposed to.

So I took charge in this situation. I 100%— you know what I did?

What?

I spit right in the box of Popeyes. I spit right on the biggest, the most juicy piece of chicken. I spit on it.

And then Natalie ate it anyway.

She ate around Yeah, now Natalie has the flu because it wasn't the chicken, it was my saliva.

And then I know what happened after that.

What?

Natalie sent Taylor out for Popeyes.

Yeah, and then Natalie sent our new assistant Taylor out for Popeyes.

Right, which I'm pretty sure, I think Taylor's just here to get Natalie snacks because that's all I see her do.

So we got a new assistant, her name's Taylor, she's great. And it's starting to get to the point where I'm not sure if I'm supposed to be paying her because Natalie uses her more than I do. Today she made her go get Popeyes for her. Sometimes Taylor will run and get dry cleaning for Natalie. It's kind of a good situation we got going. Taylor's actually really great.

I didn't even know there was a Popeyes around here.

No, Taylor has to—

She came back fast.

Yeah, Taylor took a flight. Okay.

She went to Arizona?

She went to Arizona for the nearest Popeyes. No, she's great. She's like— Taylor's like weirdly really good at her job. Like, I don't want to give her compliments because she's sitting right next to you.

My assistant, who I'm pretty sure is just going to fucking punch someone in the face at one point. That's Dima, who got into a fistfight this week.

We were— wait, well, we were talking about— I was talking to Taylor about, um, like, Taylor, like, always will get, like— how do I— how do you explain Taylor? You've been around her.

Taylor's like, um, in, like, a comedy movie where, like, the— there's, like, an awful, awful, awful person who has, like, a lot of money, and it's just, like, the villain of the movie has this, like, bright, shiny assistant with glasses constantly following the person, and the glasses are constantly falling off her face, and she has to push them back, index finger, and pushing it on the bridge of her nose. And the villain will say something like, you know, the villain will say something like, ah, I can't believe things aren't going our way. And then Tara will be like, well, if we keep trying, sir, we probably could get things to work.

Yeah, she's very supportive. I was talking to her.

You're sinking today.

Yeah, well, earlier I was talking to her about— I was saying, what would happen if I accidentally killed you? Yes.

And oh, I was in the other room.

Yeah, we came in, everybody dying. We came to the conclusion that if I accidentally killed her, I'd wake up the next day with like a letter from Taylor going, hey, I have the perfect place to bury my body. It's right off the 101. I found it earlier in case this would happen. And then make sure to take your vitamin C tablets. And then the cleaners are gonna get there around 10:30. I put $25 on the counter. Good luck. I hope to see you soon.

If something goes wrong, here's your passport.

Yeah. No, she's the best.

She's killing it, but I want to make sure I watched, um, I watched 50 First Dates the other night with Charlie.

Oh, you did?

Yeah, we talked about it last week, remember?

Yeah, how was it?

Oh, it was interesting. Um, you had said it was like, I think you said it was one of the best movies of all time.

It was in the top 200.

Yeah, and when we finished, you said, then you took it back.

Hold on. Yeah, you're gonna go in, you're gonna go in and you're gonna be negative about it. I can already tell.

What?

Yeah.

No, I wasn't gonna be negative. I was gonna thank you for your review and turning me on to, uh One of the greatest American films of all time.

Why did you actually think of 50 First Dates?

You know, David, I've watched a lot of movies that have political meaning, or, you know, take for example Green Book.

Okay.

Which is about civil rights. And—

I understand. What did you think of 50 First Dates?

Well, when I saw the walrus barf all over the guy that worked with Adam Sandler, I thought to myself, oh, wow. David, really, really, he knows, he knows film and he knows how to pick the best movie of all time.

I hate people like you. You—

I hate people like you.

I hate people like you.

You are doing a disservice. You have people listening to you and you go on there and, and I love Adam Sandler movies, I, I really do, but 50 First Dates is not even one of his best movies. It's not his best movie.

Oh, I know what it is.

It's an Adam Sandler movie and you walk around, you walk around going, it's the greatest movie of all time. And you know what the worst part is, guys? Let me brainwash Natalie. You've brainwashed her.

Let me fill— let me— I didn't even think— let me fill the audience in on what's going on here. Jason used to work at SNL, and he—

oh, you want to take it there?

And he used to be Adam Sandler's assistant. He would run and get him water, run and get him food. So maybe there are some hard feelings towards Adam Sandler.

Let me tell you something, I love Adam Sandler. The idea that you walk around just— it made me so fucking incensed as I was watching the movie. Even Charlie, who's 10, was like This is so fucking dumb.

She doesn't understand good comedy. She's—

oh, she does. She knows fucking really good comedy. She actually told me that one of my ideas was stupid the other night. Well, she was. It made me question everything that comes out of your mouth when I was watching 50 First Dates. It made me go, oh my God, he is fucking mentally not all there.

What?

And his opinion is worthless.

You're so dramatic.

That is exactly what happened.

It doesn't make any sense because I don't—

I can't believe you said it's one of the best movies of all time.

You know what you're doing? What? You're not letting me talk because you know I'm right.

Go ahead.

And you know, I'll let you talk. You know second things come out of my mouth.

You know what I'm doing? I'm not letting you talk because you're fucking dumb and the things that come out of your mouth make no fucking sense.

Listen, I understand. Look at me, look at me, look at me, look at me not raising my voice because I'm mature.

Look at that.

So listen, I respect your, your love for cinematic movies. I respect other people's love for movies that are nice, shot properly, you know, it's really well thought out. This, you know, I love, I love all those. I love the boring movies that, that, that have long shots and that have one take takes, and they were incredible. Whatever, who cares?

I didn't say anything about long shots and one takes. Yeah, boring movies. We're just talking about the best.

Here's the thing, all we're talking about— I know I'm talking about if I was to go to the moon.

Yeah.

And I had to bring 200 movies with me, 50 First Dates is one of the DVDs.

I'm bringing up what you said.

Well, that's what I'm saying. I said it's in the top 200.

The definition— that is not what was said on the podcast next week. You keep downgrading your opinion.

No, it's in the top 200. I said this last week. That's where we ended it.

That is not— that is not the definition of the 200 movies I'd take to a desert island. That is completely different than the best movies.

No, it's not.

Yes, it is. There's a list. There's a— he's looking so— he's looking so angry at me right now because, you know, he's lost.

I don't want to do this anymore. Yes, I know. Um, okay, let's just— whatever, I don't want to keep arguing.

Okay, that's fine.

It's like, I'm right. It's like arguing with a fucking idiot.

Say I'm right.

About what?

That it's not one of the best 200 movies of all time.

No, because you rate movies completely differently. I look at a movie and be like, is this an entertaining piece? Not only that, no, of cinema. And yes, it is.

Then I tried to watch it like, oh, I tried to watch like, yeah, like a fun movie on the plane. It was so fucking repetitive. It made No sense.

She has fucking brain damage, bro. Her and her dad went to get a pineapple and the fucking cow came in the middle of the road and they hit a tree.

They hit a tree. It is so—

think about if you're—

think about—

put yourself—

would forget somebody—

put yourself in Drew Barrymore's dad's shoes.

Yeah.

And imagine your daughter Charlie, imagine she forgets everything every day.

Put me in those shoes. It's not— it doesn't exist.

Which, you know what, it's not a real thing. Maybe in your daughter's situation would be a great thing because maybe she could forget what kind of a horrible dad you are. But I don't even want to get into that.

Let's get into it. Yeah, I would love it.

I don't want to get to that. I just think that we have different tastes in movies and that's it. I'm just going to leave it at that. Cool.

No, you're a fucking idiot. I won't leave it at that.

I'm not going to argue with you because, because I know the majority of people listening have seen 50 First Dates and understand what's up.

It was the worst movie I have seen in a long time. It made me so upset.

What made you upset about it?

That, that, that, that, that— it wasn't good. It wasn't even, it wasn't even fun to watch. Like, I understand movies that are just fun.

What made you upset about it?

It's like not the best movie of all time, but it's fun to watch.

What made you upset about it? Was it the fact that you could never make a movie fucking a quarter of as good as that one?

No, it, it upset me that it went nowhere.

He gets her to fall in love with him every day. That's the coolest thing. It's literally a love story.

It doesn't make sense.

Of course it's a movie. There's a little bit of like crazy in it, but it's Cute. Zane, what's your opinion on 50 First Dates?

I think it's a really cute movie. The fact that he has to try to make himself fall in love or have her fall in love with him every single day is such a great idea.

One of the best movies of all time.

Yeah, I'd say it's one of the best movies of all time. It's definitely top 200 movies.

Yeah.

50 First Dates. Yeah. Top 200 movies of all time.

Yeah.

Really?

Yes.

Okay. What else is in there?

Sharknado. Sharknado. Shrek.

But no fucking Shark.

Shrek is a good movie.

What do you think Shrek is?

A good movie. There's just such a huge amount of— What do you think, Carly, that comes from you?

Hubris.

There you go. What you think is good and what you spout off.

Go jerk off, Quentin Tarantino.

I didn't say anything about Quentin Tarantino.

50 First Dates. What are your thoughts?

It's been so long since I've seen it, but I remember it being fun to watch. I don't think it's like amazing, but it's like a good movie to watch.

Cut that out, Gina. Taylor, can you give the mic to Taylor?

Yeah.

Hi.

I'll say whatever you'd like.

No, give the mic to Taylor.

Am I pro 50 First Dates or negative 50 First Dates?

Give it to Taylor. First of all, 50 First Dates. What do you think?

I thought it was really cute.

Thank you. Top 200 movies?

Absolutely. I don't even know.

Do you want to come back to work tomorrow? Absolutely.

Okay, now next question. Um, how do you feel about working here?

I love it.

Give me like your honest feedback. What did you initially expect and then where are you now about it?

Okay.

Um, initially when our friend came to you and was like, hey, I have a position to work for a YouTuber as an assistant, what did you think?

I think I expected this, like I expected doing the impossible, but it's definitely made me realize that like no is not an answer.

Like it's always yes. Oh my God.

It's true, right Nat?

Right Nat?

No, really.

You're like—

Explain what you mean.

That's like not enough ping pong balls. Like we need at least 3,000 more. And I'm like, okay.

You know?

And then it happens. And then once you do it once, like once you keep making the impossible happen, you just, you're like, I can do it, you know?

Sure. Well, explain more for what the no isn't an answer, because that, that, that's tricky. Explain that other than the ping pong ball analogy.

Okay, so for example, like yesterday with like the mariachi band, it's like, oh, we need them in 30 minutes, 5 guys there though, like I haven't even started calling.

Sure.

And then it happened.

Yeah. Is it harder or easier than you thought it was gonna be?

I like a challenge.

So it's harder?

Well, no, no. I mean, I definitely didn't expect it like it.

It's, it's more chaotic.

Yes.

Do you have any complaints?

No. Really?

No.

Dima just made a joke, um, because Taylor stays here for like a long time because we edit the vlog for so long, and Dima was like, okay Taylor, you can go home now, your 23-hour shift is over. Yeah, you, you're, you're here a while. We tell you that you can leave, but you just, you like hanging out.

Yeah, I guess you guys are cool, I guess. But no, I, I think I'm just like, I'm used to staying—

You have no one else in your life, do you?

Exactly. I have no friends. Yeah, that's the real truth.

Taylor, we like you. Thank you for coming on the podcast and helping us.

Of course.

And if you— if I ever kill you on accident, please give me a long list of things I have to do the next day. Right now I want to interview Dima.

Yeah. Did you know Dima got into a fight last week?

Okay, and then now we're talking about Jason's assistant.

The polar opposite.

The Polar opposite. He got into a fight last week.

I don't know, I was in the car yesterday and then, uh, Cass goes, you know, Dima got into a fight like 10 days ago. And I go, you didn't tell me about this. And they showed me the pictures. He's got black and blue, his entire head is busted up. And, uh, and I guess he was in a Taco Bell and someone started a fight and Dima jumped in. But he didn't even tell me about it. You want to tell Dave what happened?

Why was— yeah, Dima, explain this fight to me. What was going on?

I ordered food and the guy before me got his food and then he started getting rowdy. He's like, yo, I just asked her like, where's my food? Like, is it here? And she's like, yeah, here's your food. Can you go? Like, I have other people here. Next thing you know, he starts fighting with the Taco Bell employee that just took my order and the Taco Bell employee is losing like completely. Like he's about to get— he's getting choked out.

Yeah.

And the guy is a fat ass. He's fucking huge.

Sure.

And then I'm like, fuck this, I need my goddamn food. So I start choking him.

Get the fuck out. Okay.

He was like, he was bent over. So I started choking him. So I got him in a chokehold and he started loosening up very quickly. But his girlfriend came up to me like in my face and she's like, stop, you're hurting him. Stop. And the guy started like really loosening up. And I thought, okay, maybe like he's done fighting. Yeah, maybe he doesn't want to fight anymore.

Yeah.

No, this dumbass came right out of my chokehold. Grabbed my fucking chin with his other hand and then hit me twice with his other hand. And then I started chasing him because I'm not a pussy ass bitch. And then I, then I turned right around because I saw that he went to his car and I thought he was getting a knife or a gun. And it turns out he didn't get either. He got a tire iron. But I was thinking, I'm like, okay, it's—

that's insane. Did you get in a fight with him to save the Taco Bell guy or because you were hungry?

Yeah, I was pretty hungry.

Okay, well, that's not true.

No, I did.

That's not true. You told me you were saving the guy.

Yeah. No, it was a completely unfair fight. This guy pissed me off just because he, like, you know, made a whole scene on a little guy. He was throwing water around, too. He kept, like, filling up his water cup and just throwing it at the coworkers, the employees. And I'm like, bro, it's like 1:30 a.m. Like, I'm just trying to get my meal. You're just making a scene.

Well, you call the police?

No, the manager called the police and they came an hour and a half after. She's like, you can't leave. You have to make a report. And then you stayed?

Yeah.

I didn't make a report, though.

Fuck her. Did you get free food for while you were waiting?

No, I actually, like, couldn't eat. I lost my whole appetite from all the adrenaline. I give it to the homeless man outside.

Wow, look at this. What are you, like, the perfect man?

So this is good. You can fight. That's great. Good to know.

Cool sister you got.

He's the best. I can— I thank you for him every day. You're still mad about 50 First Dates?

Yeah. Cool assistant you got. Well, yeah, he's great. But Charlie and Wyatt were starving that night because he didn't bring back the fucking Taco Bell. How do you like working for Jay? Jason?

Uh, working for Jason's fun. It's, uh, good knowing that I'm working for someone a little bit more credible and, you know, more wiser than you. Someone with, uh, better taste in movies.

How do you— how do you feel about 50 First Dates?

I actually saw the first half like 4 years ago and I thought, this is such a dumb movie. How do people watch this?

You guys are two peas in a fucking pile of shit.

And then Jason started playing it while I was trying to get him flights.

Dima, fun fact about Dima is he's, he's good at getting stuff done, but it just takes him a while. He edited our podcast last week, and I think he was here for about 8 to 9 hours.

Natalie said she was— he was in there for like 10 hours. I forgot he was here. Hey, listen, I feel bad about 50 First Dates. I think, I think, I think it, it was—

uh, you're already seeing tweets on your phone.

It was fine.

Here's your apology.

No, I don't know. I can't log in. I think what happened, David, I think what happened when I watched the movie was I was expecting it to be like this hidden gem, and I started watching it and I went, oh, okay, David likes the movie. And then I went, okay, he thinks it's one of the best movies of all time. And then I think I got mad at how often you say things that aren't true.

Whatever. Guess what, Jason? Um, so People magazine has this thing I saw. Yeah, isn't that fucking crazy?

What did you think about that when you saw that today?

I— so they do this thing where they, they name like the sexiest man every year, right? And they have like different categories.

Okay. What are the categories?

So it's like, it's like there's basically a bunch of different categories. Like, like sexiest import is one of them. Like, that's like the sexiest guy from a different country. Sure. Sexiest silver fox, like the sexiest, like, guy with silver hair who's like older. And for some odd reason, they put me under Sexiest Heartthrob.

Oh my God.

Noah Centineo, Harry Styles, and Shawn fucking Mendes.

That's insane. That's fucking ridiculous. I would think those 3 guys would be up for Sexiest Man Alive.

Yes, I would agree for that. I would agree.

But they're too young. Oh, okay. So Natalie says all those people are up for Sexiest Man Alive.

What?

To my understanding, each of those people— there's 21 different categories to vote for on People.com.

Yeah.

You're in one category. So if you win your category of heartthrob, then you are then put into that pool in like the magazine that they release of all the sexiest men. So you're put into the list of sexiest men. There's one guy, there's one man that is officially crowned the sexiest man alive. How do we do that, Natalie?

What do we got to do?

Well, we have a lot of work to do, but I think maybe one day you could get there, Dave.

No, no, no. Now this is my year. Natalie today was going to post on Instagram saying for people to go vote for me because she wants to get invited. She wants to be my plus one to the party for Sexiest Man Alive so she can meet the real sexy men. Yeah, the real sexy men. Wait, wait. So, okay, so, so, so out of the 21 people, then, then there's another voting. Is this like voting for the president? What happens out of the 21 people? Then, then there's one winner, or how does that work?

Or there's one man that wins Sexiest Man Alive.

And how does that happen? Is there another voting cycle or does the magazine just choose?

I think People chooses who the Sexiest Man Alive is.

Wow.

It's probably based on like all the different things that they do throughout the year, like who's talked about most, who's in their magazine most, and things like that. So you're probably like pretty far down there. I wouldn't count on that.

But no, I'm just happy to be included in the running. Like, this is fucking great.

Can you vote?

Like, yeah, that's, that's how you, that's how you win is people voting.

So you might have a shot.

Well, we've talked about the podcast for about 6 minutes now, so there's a good chance that people are going to go vote.

Probably. I know my mom's going to vote 10 times.

Oh my God.

She's not because she was married to you. She just loves you.

She, she loves voting for shit.

Yeah, she loves it.

Zane, just— I just heard out of my right ear, Zane goes, how do you nominate yourself for Sexiest Man Alive?

Yeah, Zane, I just realized it sounds kind of silly, but at the same time, it's like, imagine you being voted Sexiest Man Alive in the fucking— in the US for People's Magazine.

It is also hopped up on hydrocodone from his wisdom teeth.

This guy's wisdom teeth.

Should be a great podcast.

Zayn is on crack, basically.

He got his wisdom teeth out yesterday.

Imagine, imagine the women, though, if you won that like that.

Yeah, I mean, I would, I would, I would, I would change my Instagram bio to Sexiest Man Alive.

You should just change it now. Just one of people's top 10 nominated.

No, not top 10.

Sexiest Man Alive.

No, I'm like top 150 right now. There's so much. Hey, remember the other day we were at that Nerf competition? Yeah, and, and there was, there was 4 of us that were going up to compete. Yeah, and, and I competed or whatever, and the guy goes, oh, let's see the final score. And then the final score comes in and goes, David Dobrik tied for 3rd. And I go, so you mean I'm fucking last? Because there was only 4 people. Tied for 3rd, that is the most positive way of saying that I, I lost.

Tara just brought up a photo of last year's Sexiest Man Alive, and you're not going to like it.

Who was it?

The Rock. God fucking damn it, bro.

I should win it every year.

That's going to be tough for you to beat.

Very tough to beat.

I mean, you're going to have to start lifting weights or something, taking some creatine.

The Rock is very, very insane to me. He's a very—

Rock is the most insane person.

He's a very interesting, like, person.

Mm-hmm.

I had a realization the other day.

Which was what?

I, um, I was in the shower.

Sure.

And I was like, I'm going to— well, actually, I was in bed and I was like, I'm gonna take today and I'm gonna pretend that I'm 18 years old and I just woke up in my shoes, like all of a sudden out of nowhere, like, like I'm 18. And I was like so ready to go. I was in the shower and you know how like in the shower you're sometimes like, oh, I don't want to step out, it's gonna be cold. I didn't give a fuck. I walked right out. I knew it was gonna be cold. I dried off a little bit, like barely.

Great. Who are you now? Are you you or this other person?

No, I'm still the other person.

Okay, got it. What's the other person's name?

No, it's David, but it's David from the past.

Oh, David from who's 18?

Yeah. So, so I thought like, I thought like, like, so 5 years ago? Yeah, because like, because I know that weird— well, no, because I know as an 18-year-old, if I was like to be put like— if, if someone told me at 18 that I would have like this YouTube channel and this podcast where I could do all these—

success, David.

Yeah, I'd be like, I'd be like, that's fucking crazy. Like, I, I would I would kill for that.

Sure.

So like, I just need to find that energy again. So I've kind of been doing that.

Yeah.

And I did that the other day and I pretended like this was my— I walked around, I walked around, I went like, I went to the view, like I went outside right away and I was like, holy fuck. And I pretended like I've never seen anything. I went into my closet and I opened the sock drawer and I was like, there's so many socks in here and I can't believe they're separated from the underwear. And I like, and I just went through everything in my house and I was like, this is crazy. And then I saw Natalie And like, in my head I was like, Natalie, what is she fucking doing in my house? But then like, I realized that she's my assistant, and then I even got more excited. I was like, wow, Natalie from high school is working for me.

This is either a story you tell on Oprah or a story you tell at the insane asylum. Like, I could see it on Oprah and everyone just applauding you, like, look at him, he's so grounded and real, and he appreciates what he has. But I could also see you being like, time for your meds.

Yeah, I'm kind of, I'm kind of in between on the whole thing. No, but that's when I should— that's when I showed up to your house that day. Oh, oh yeah, yeah, I showed up to your house and you're like, what are you doing here?

Oh yeah, we play— I planned a video at the house with Carly and Zane and, um, it was like real nice. And then all of a sudden David showed up and everybody at the house was like, whoa, what the fuck's David doing here? And that was why—

that was that day David was helping him set up lights and stuff and we're like, what's going on? Like, we were convinced because he didn't want to be in the video.

That's because he didn't want to be—

No, I was excited. No, I was excited. I wanted to help you.

Oh, you wanted to help? Oh, that actually makes sense now, Carly. Yeah, it was 18-year-old David.

Yeah, I was 18.

You're like, oh, maybe I'm good at lighting.

Yeah, it was that day that you felt like that.

That's really funny.

And you brought everybody too.

You brought Natalie, you brought Taylor, you brought everybody.

No, I was excited. I told Natalie, I'm like, Natalie, well, this, this rule goes on from now on. Like, I don't want to wake up and not do anything. I want to wake up and like, Natalie and I should go for a car ride and just go somewhere. This, this rule goes on from here on out. It's like I was telling Natalie, he's like, when I wake up and you're up, let's go out and let's let's like go do something. Okay, like let's not just stay home.

Um, I like that.

But yeah, I don't know, it's just cool. Like, 18-year-old me would really appreciate all this, and I feel like sometimes I forget that.

Do you think tomorrow you'll do 15-year-old you?

No, because then I'd be very confused and lost.

Just be masturbating.

Yeah, well, not too far from 23-year-old me.

Uh, now it's time on the show where we check in with Zane and see how high he is.

I'm pretty fucking lit right now. I'm on 3 pills of hydrocodone and I can't feel shit. Normally my wisdom— so I got 4 of my wisdom teeth removed and it hurt really bad. Yesterday I was in a lot of pain and this morning I was in a lot of pain too. But this hydrocodone is really, really making it feel a lot better.

Oh, that's good. It was funny watching you in the wisdom teeth video. I thought it would be like you getting drunk, but it was different.

No, no, it was like me getting drunk because I don't remember everything that happened.

Oh, you don't?

No, I don't remember. It's like little bits and pieces. Like, I remember mariachi outside, but I don't remember what I was doing when I saw me like going up and down with the trump— with the trumpet. I didn't— I don't remember that.

We hired a mariachi band to get Zane when he got out of the chair. Did you— what did you think when you saw the mariachi band?

It reminded me of my birthday last year, just everything happening right like that. It just— it, it was a throwback to my birthday.

Oh, right. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, we got you a mariachi band for your birthday. Yeah. And then, and then the surprise was not Kendall Jenner, it was guys, if you're interested, Zayn's single and Zane, why don't you throw some stuff out there about your, yourself right now, your age.

I'm 26 years old. I, I act like I'm 19. I don't think I'll ever get old. I don't think I'll ever find anybody.

Okay, great. Why don't you pass the mic over to Natalie?

No, David, no, no, no.

I don't think I'll ever find it.

That's enough. I think we've had enough.

See what happens when you have a drink of water?

Yeah, that shit was sad. Let's go talk, talk about, talk more about me being 18 years old and finally—

I'm gonna do it tomorrow. I'm gonna get up and I'm gonna pretend I'm 40, and I'm gonna go, 40-year-old me, oh fuck, oh shit, things still suck. Zane is acting out something on an audio podcast right now because he's on hydrocodone. It was actually funny, but you can't see it. You're at this funny age in your life that is just so fucking funny because you are like a kid, but you also have a lot of money, so you are becoming a little bit more refined. So you just pendulum back and forth between this fucking dumbass kid to this kind of like—

I got a voice-controlled sink today. You go, you go, Alexa, turn on and it fucking starts shooting water. Ah, fuck, it's on. Alexa, turn off.

Tell everybody, tell everybody.

I mean, it's a sink that basically when you go, when you tell the sink to turn on, it turns on, and then you can tell the sink to fill up a cup of water and it measures the exact amount of water you need.

Okay, so take me back to the roots of all of this. You're sitting around with Natalie and Taylor, things are going great.

Taylor's great, right? 'Cause Taylor, I'll send her screenshots of things I find on Facebook and I go, order this.

Oh, okay, so you saw this on Facebook. You saw the talking sink on Facebook.

You know how a bunch of shit pops up on—

How fucking lonely are you that you needed a talking sink?

It's not a talking sink. It doesn't talk back to me. I can just talk to it. It's kind of like a listening sink. It just listens.

Okay, so you talk to Alexa.

I talk to Alexa and she turns the sink on and she pours water into my cup. I know it sounds lonely, but wait till you see the talking refrigerator I have coming.

What else can Alexa do?

Alexa can do everything. We're going to get lights so she can control the lights. Do the lights.

Yeah. Okay.

Anyway, yeah. So I sent— I sent— it's really cool because, you know, like on Facebook, a bunch of bullshit always pops up. Yeah, it's great because now I can— I always screenshot and I send it right to Taylor and I go, just order this, order this.

Oh my God, that's terrible. What made you want it? I could see the lights. The lights I could see. Alexa, turn on the lights. The sink. You don't even fucking use the sink.

You know what's scary about Taylor? Is like, is, is she's not my— she's not like my hometown friend, right? So she doesn't have like the gauge for like, this is my money that I'm spending, right? Right. So I can send her a bunch of things and she'll be like, okay, ordering it, ordering it. Whereas if I send it to Natalie, she'd be like, don't you fucking dare order a talking sink, right? But Taylor would just be like, okay, it's on the way. We have a budget of $10 billion, which is, which is not true. So I'm scared that me sending things to Taylor is gonna Like, what if one day I just send her a fucking $40,000 car and it's here the next day?

And you know David was sitting there with his laptop like, well, I know if I send this one to Natalie, I won't get it. She's gonna— Natalie's gonna say no.

Yeah.

Taylor!

Yeah, I get more— I get, uh, I get away with more with Taylor.

I'll say no if you want me to.

No, no, no, no, no, don't say no. Okay, Taylor, I don't want you to change anything about you. Yes. Okay, and do me a favor, never get comfortable, okay? 'Cause you will be like Natalie going shopping online all fucking day. Don't do that, Taylor. You got it? I can't. You're my friend.

I don't know.

I fucking tried so many times. I can't 'cause you're my friend.

Natalie, you want to work for me? You don't have to do anything and you get paid.

That's just like yours, eh? What are you talking about? How's that pool coming, Dave?

Uh, that's, that's tough. Taylor's giving me the thumbs up.

Okay.

Natalie's shopping on Revolve right now.

Natalie, what would you do if you left David Dobrik LLC?

My opportunities are fucking endless. Jason?

Sure.

Instagram modeling.

No, I'm not a fucking model. I'm just me.

Natalie, it's either you work as my assistant or you become a Fit Tea ambassador.

We're not putting any of this bullshit in the fucking podcast. No, I'm going to cut the fucking cord on this shit.

It's too late. It's already in the fucking SD card.

Hey, Dave, listen, I want to extend an olive branch. Okay, right now. You know what that is?

Yeah, it's like a— like a peace—

peace offering.

Peace offering.

I'm going to— I'm going to let you give me one more pick for movies. I'm going to go watch it.

Best movie next week.

Yeah.

Have you seen About Time?

I have not seen that movie. You talk about it a lot.

Go see it.

Okay. That's— that's—

you'll actually like it. It's going to hit you in the sweet spot.

Okay. I'm a sucker for—

No, it won't, because you didn't have a good relationship with your dad. But maybe it'll work backwards and it'll remind you of your son.

Okay. Point, David.

Just go watch Incredibles.

I heard you on the phone today, David. Oh yeah, yeah, getting your vlogs ready. I heard a very, very, very interesting conversation that I think the people would love to hear.

What was it?

You called your friend Ilya. He said, Ilya, if I come to Chicago for paintball on Sunday, will you get fucked up on Saturday night for my vlog? And he was like, oh, hell no, fuck that, dude. Isn't that what he said? Yeah, he said no, right?

Yeah, he wants me to come paintballing, but I can't unless we like go out and have fun.

Sure. Well, I mean, you know, and then you made it not fun. You made a good point, which is you said, well, it's gonna hurt. And I was like, because I was thinking about doing paintball and I was like, I don't want to fucking do that, it's gonna hurt.

Well, you get to wear whatever you want.

I've never been.

You can wear like a winter coat.

Didn't you tell me that it's like really intense? People come up and shoot you in the back of the head?

No, I used to shoot people with the back. There's a rule where you're not allowed to be that close.

Oh yeah, so you used to shoot your friends?

Not my friends, the enemies.

Oh, man. Hey, David, you want to come speak at Career Day at my son's school?

Why? They won't let you.

Well, I did it last year, so I can't do it again.

Really?

No, I am doing it again. But what? It's a funny joke, though.

When you go into Career Day.

I know it's so silly.

What do you do?

Well, you just go in there and they ask you what you do.

Okay. What do you say?

I say I'm a YouTuber.

And what do the kids say?

Well, like, one class really liked it, and then another class was like, we've never heard of you. Like, who are you?

How old is he now?

He's in 8th now.

Oh, so the kids watch the videos probably in 8th. That's, that's old enough, right?

Yeah. Same thing you would say to Q&A. I'm going to be dressed up as Carmelita.

Carmelita is a prostitute character that Jason has.

Yes.

That he dresses up as.

Pretty funny. You guys should all come, and I'm doing it with Marnie, my ex-wife. So she's gonna talk about TV producing, and then I'm gonna talk about YouTube.

That's funny.

Yeah, that's crazy.

Well, you know what happened was we're trying to get Wyatt these recommendation letters so he can go to private high school.

Yeah.

And then the only way that we could get the letters was if we go in and we—

and do parent—

the teacher kind of said like, hey, you gotta do something around here.

Are the other— what do the— do the other parents give you dirty looks when you say you're a YouTuber?

No, not at all.

No, you know what's funny?

People my age, they don't even know what it is.

Oh, so they can't—

like, you're a YouTuber? What does that mean?

Yeah, what do you How does that—

what is that?

How do you make money?

Yeah, how do you make money? They don't even get it at all. Okay, although I've noticed more at the, um, at the meet and greets, there's more parents now.

Oh, interesting.

More people my age. Not that much more than when we did Views, but there's more. It's pretty interesting.

Well, well guys, that's all the time we have for today's podcast. Thank you guys for listening. Jason Nash is on a comedy show. You guys may want to go skip out on that and go see a good movie. Joker's in theaters if you guys want to have a tour.

It's— I'll be in Atlanta this weekend, Chicago, Minneapolis. Yeah, it's gonna be a lot of fun.

Here's a tour, um, that David hates. No, I love it.

Why don't you tell everybody when you sat me down and you were like, what the fuck are you doing with this tour?

Um, no, but, uh, uh, yeah, so go follow us on Instagram, go follow us on whatever. We'll see you guys later. It's been The Views Podcast. My name is Jeff. Bye.