David and Jason's $100,000 Bet

What's up guys, welcome back to Views, the podcast where today I don't have JC as my co-host, I have one of my friends from Iceland here.

Oh, hello, hi, my name is Sven, it is great to be here all the way from Iceland.

He's visiting because his family kicked him out of his home.

Yes, I'm melting because I'm from Iceland and it's so warm here. Because, no? Because it's cold here, it's cold there, but in California Whoa, brr.

Whoa, brr, warm.

Warm stuff.

OK. This character is probably the last time it's going to—

Probably. You know this character? Someone came up to me in Boston, and he was from Iceland. And he looked like someone had just blown snow in his face. He was so weird looking. And he was really buff. And he was like 50 years old. And he had a son who also looked like someone just blew snow in his face. And they had parkas on, but it was like 100 degrees in Boston.

What did they say?

They walked up. And they walk up and they go, Jason Nash? And they go, oh my God, oh my God, Jason Nash from the Vlog Squad? Like that. And I was like, hey, I was with Wyatt and Charlie. They're like, we were just sitting over there watching your videos. David Dobrik from the Vlog Squad. Like that. And I was like, hey, would it be okay if my son and I had a picture? Like that. They had the craziest accent. And I couldn't believe it. I go, you guys watch the videos in Iceland? They go, oh yeah. He watches him with all his friends. We sit around in our ice caves and eat snowballs watching Zane get drunk.

Eat snowballs.

And Jeff, who went to prison. Did he really go to jail? That's wild.

All right, roll that show music. So Jason and I got an offer to do a live show. For $100,000, which is a great podcast show. But now we're faced with the tough responsibility of finding out how to split the earnings from the show, which is great because there's two of us. So we want to be equal. I proposed $95,000 to $5,000.

That is such bullshit.

What did you think?

It's a preexisting 60/40 split for live shows.

I told Jason, I said, just pretend it's my show and you're flying out to visit. And he goes, fuck you. I'm kidding. No, no. I have an idea.

What's your idea?

This is how we should do it. OK. We shouldn't decide how we're— You take all the money.

And I don't go.

We shouldn't decide how we're splitting it until we get to the show. OK. And on stage, we'll have a wheel. And one of the options will be 100-0 me. And the other option will be 100-0 you. So we'll see who wins the most money.

It's one wheel. You spin it. And those are the only options.

It's one wheel. It lands on one thing.

OK.

It could either land on 50-50. We split it 60%, 40%. We split it 100% to 0%. We do all that.

I think it's a great idea. You're also in the position to do that. You have a lot more money than me.

I think it'll make a really good video out of it.

I think we go there, we let the audience decide. How about that? And I'll have two pictures of my kids behind us on the screen, one with Wyatt grabbing his stomach saying, I'm hungry.

Just so you win some money, we'll we'll make sure that you can't lose all of it.

No, I don't care. I'll do that. I'll do $100. I'll do $100. I think it's pretty funny just to tell you that I'm fucking down to ride. And I don't— because David, all he ever says is like, you love money, you love money. Meanwhile, there's fucking clickbait notebooks sitting around here. You do. He's trying to sell, huh?

You do love money.

I mean, who doesn't love money?

I know, but you're like—

but I'm literally not money-grubby at all. Have I been grubby with money with you at all through our business dealings?

No, never.

Well, have I?

No.

Oh, so you're just kidding.

Yeah, you take everything.

David does this thing with people where he just like says the absolute most horrible things about them, and then he goes, I was kidding, meanwhile people are crying.

No, I'd never make anyone cry.

Um, you got something in your throat, Natalie? Did you want to say something? I just heard you go, um, no, but that's a funny idea.

If you don't want to do it, we don't have to.

I'll do it.

Yeah.

I'll do it because it's the only way you'll do the show.

No, I'll do the show even if you just write the script.

I literally don't even care about the money for the show. I just would like to do a show with you because I think it's—

that we're together.

Wow, someone misses me. That we're making vlogs. Then we have a reason to go somewhere.

Wow, someone misses me.

I do miss you sometimes.

Someone misses being on the vlog.

It's weird when I don't see you for like 12 hours. I get really panicked.

It is weird.

Yeah, I'm like, is he mad at me?

Yeah, your kids just went back to school. How was that?

Oh, it was awful, man. It hit me. It was like I got the flu.

Why? Why is that bad? Isn't that good? Now you have some more free time?

No, because I gotta get up at 6 AM and then I'm just luggage all day. Uh, sucks.

Yeah, you're the worst when you gotta get up at 6 AM.

I know, I don't understand. What should I do? Should I just not take him to school?

Yes, why are you still taking him to school?

Who's gonna take him to school? There's no bus? No, we live in LA, there's no bus.

Are you fucking serious?

Yeah, it's not like Vernon Hills.

So how do kids get to school? What are you talking about?

The parents drive them.

Are you kidding me?

Don't give me that look, Natalie. There's no bus.

Jason, that is a lie.

I just like— talking to you two about children is my least favorite thing to do.

You're telling me there's— I feel like if anywhere there's going to be a bus, it's going to be in LA, because parents are fucking all over the place working here.

There's no bus.

There's no bus?

No.

OK.

Zero.

If your parents can't drive you to school, you just don't get an education? Is that how it works?

Basically, in LA, you've got to get there yourself. At these schools, there's no freaking bus.

What school? Does he go to a school in the clouds? Do you have to fly him there yourself?

Yeah, he goes to school in the clouds. To cloud school. School in the clouds. How would I drive to the clouds?

I don't know.

Okay.

It just doesn't make sense. Okay, how do other kids get to school with their parents not driving?

They've gotta find a way to get there. Unless they're like chartered there. There is one club.

Don't you have a nanny that you pay like literally $3 million a year for?

But she works till 7. She only works from 11 to 7. Not everybody works like 24 hours a day like us.

I know, but just have her work earlier. Give her a little extra just to drive the kids to school. Right?

Yeah, I guess.

It shoots your entire— it like your entire day is shot when you got to do that.

I know, I know. I don't know what to do. It sucks. This is— I'm taking care of Wyatt now.

I love how we're talking about this on the podcast. This is so like just like a serious problem that you're having. I know, I know. I gotta figure it out.

It really is serious.

I almost forgot we were like recording a podcast. Why are these two fucking bitching?

What's going on with you, man? Have you bought anyone a car lately?

Yeah, I just bought Heath a Lamborghini.

How did that go?

The best. Oh my god. It was literally so much fun.

It was fun. Was that your favorite video so far?

One of them? Not my favorite video, but like—

Favorite things you've done?

Yeah, it was one of my favorite things I've— the reaction was my favorite by far.

Yeah.

That was like a crazy— everyone was like, Heath was going to cry. Heath was going to cry. I was like, there's no fucking way Heath's going to cry. He's going to be so excited. But then when he burst into tears, oh my god. I was saying this in an interview just now. It is like the most— the people are like, oh, it's so selfless to give something like that, but it's so selfish because those reactions are literally like— I would pay— I love reactions, right? So like when I get a good reaction, it's so priceless to me. Like it means the world to me. So like that was well worth, you know, giving up that paycheck or whatever to give him the car.

Yeah, that's fucking great.

Um, but yeah, no, he loves it.

What's he doing with it now?

I don't know. I, I, I heard from him. No, I don't think I'll ever see him again. I genuinely think he's maybe halfway across the country right now going 140 miles per hour.

Does he know how to drive it?

Yeah, he does. We took it out the other day.

Does he drive it safely?

You know what sucks is we took it out the other day, and I took my car out, my Ferrari. And we started racing, and he fucking smoked me.

He did?

Yeah, he smoked me. And he was like, well, looks like mine's faster. I was like, fuck you. And then he was like, oh my god, I was driving in the slow mode. I wasn't even in sport mode. And I was like, I'm getting jealous of him. Car that I got him.

Yeah, yeah. Like, did you know that Lamborghinis are faster?

I don't know.

You bought the Ferrari?

I know, I didn't think it was gonna be— and it's such a— it's such a great car, right? And literally, I was— at first when I got it, I like— I pulled it into my driveway and I was like, I don't like this car at all. Like, I even had to ask Natalie, I'm like, do you like this? And she's like, yeah, I love it. And then like more people came over and started to like it, so like I started to like it. And then when Heath saw it and Heath reacted to it that way, I fell in love with it.

Right.

I was like, I love this fucking car. And then I started to get literally jealous. I was like, this sucks. First I was happy and I was like, oh, I want that car. No, but he's, he's like the best person to give that car to.

Yeah, he's a real car guy.

This is— and this was my first, uh, my first trending video since my breakup video from my— it was— isn't that crazy? Yeah, it's been a lot of videos.

That video is nice and clean and wholesome. Yeah, there was nothing in it.

Well, that was like— well, he was swearing a storm up in it.

Oh, he was?

Yeah, he was like, this is fucking great.

He was? Yeah, I guess on YouTube, as long as you're—

if you're being— if you're swearing in a positive way.

Fucking life is great. I'm gonna make a video tomorrow.

Fucking love this bitch.

I'm gonna make a video tomorrow called Can This Get on Trending?

Yeah, it's just you swearing.

Yeah, it'd be amazing.

No, but yeah, that was fun. What else is new with you?

Oh, nothing. I'm You know, I'm 46 still.

You're skinnier. Oh my God, everywhere we go now everyone's like, "Jayse is getting so much thinner." How does that affect you? Hurts me more than watching Heath drive away with my Lamborghini.

Has it been hard for you, me losing weight?

No, it's actually really cool.

Oh good, thanks.

Yeah, 'cause you're looking a lot happier and healthier.

Yeah, I'm way happier. Although I went to town last night on some Pringles.

You can allow yourself to do that.

Not at 3 in the morning.

Are you working out a lot? What's your secret? What's your secret?

David?

Is that you? Long day at work, Jason?

Whenever I'm working with you.

What about a tough day at school?

I'm not allowed near any schools.

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Yeah, why are you even reading this? Everybody knows what DoorDash is.

From now on, when we get an ad that people know, I'm gonna go, DoorDash, you guys know it. Fuck this, let's go with the next thing. Um, no, DoorDash is incredible. You can choose what you want to eat and the food will be delivered literally right to you wherever you are. Not only is your favorite pizza joint already on DoorDash, but there are over 340,000 restaurants in 3,300 cities, so you might find a new favorite one. Right now, our listeners can get $5 off their first order of $15 or more when you download the DoorDash app and enter promo code VIEWS. That's $5 off your first order when you download the DoorDash app from the App Store and enter promo code VIEWS.

I had John and Vinny's brought to me the other day from DoorDash.

Wow.

Yeah. Yeah. I mean, pretty great.

They do it all. Don't forget, promo code is VIEWS for $5 off your first order from DoorDash. The other night we were hanging out with a couple people. And there was this girl, and we were driving her home. And Jason was trying to hype me up, right? What did you say?

I said you were in a fist fight.

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Jason just all of a sudden goes, you know what? I got to tell you, David's one of the greatest guys I know. And I go, what the fuck? And he goes, the other day there was these couple guys that came up to me, and they wanted to pick a fight with me. And David approached them, and he told them to back away, and they wouldn't. There was 4 of them. And David thought that it wasn't a big enough challenge, so he—

First, I started the whole thing with, you know David's hands are legally registered as weapons in the state of California. That's what I started with.

And then Jason goes, and then when he saw the 4 guys, David thought that it wasn't difficult enough, so he tied one hand behind his back. And he kicked everyone's ass. And then what did you say?

And then he said, and then turns out, 2 of the guys whose ass he kicked had robbed a bank earlier that day and were wanted. And the police came. They were like, thank you so much, David. We've been looking for these guys.

And then I go— but I wasn't in the mood to be thanked or anything, because I was so tired. I just wanted to get home, because earlier I was at the hospital giving kids toys. And then I don't know what you said next. I think then she was like, wait, really? They were wanted for a robbery? And we go, oh, no, no, no, no. We were just kidding. And she goes, oh my god. That was the best.

Yeah.

That was so funny. It's difficult because when you're with new people, they don't know if you're kidding or not.

They don't know you're serious.

Even though that was a pretty far-stretched story.

Yeah.

She was like, so they robbed the bank? And we're like, oh, shit, no. All of that was bullshit. I'm scared of people.

She would have thought you were on board.

Yeah, I'm terrified of people. If Jason was getting his ass kicked, I'd be in my car going down the 101 the opposite direction. That was fun. So 2 days ago, I got the pleasure of surprising my friend with a Lamborghini. This is real, which is so crazy to me. It was my friend Heath. He loves, obsessed with supercars. He's here right now, so we're gonna cut to him in the studio and ask him about the Lamborghini. Okay, what's up, Heath?

Hey guys.

Hey, how you feeling, Heath?

I feel on cloud nine. I literally, I'm still speechless. Like, I've like talked to my friends and my family.

Yeah, what did your friends text you? I'm so curious.

Well, it's crazy because like everybody's texting me like, holy shit, congrats, congrats. And it's like, I kind of don't feel like it's something to congratulate me on.

Sure, I guess.

I mean, obviously, like, yeah, it's something absolutely insane.

No, I know what you mean.

I would probably say the same if it happened to one of my friends, like, oh my god, congrats, you got a Lambo. But I didn't buy it, you know what I mean? So it kind of feels like—

Sure, but you smoked— at one point in one of my vlogs, you put 9 cigarettes in your mouth. So you deserve it.

So I fucking earned that.

No, but that's like— yeah, what are your friends saying? Because I feel like that's—

they don't believe it.

Yeah, I feel like this is a very foreign thing to a lot of people, especially from our hometowns.

100%. Like my really good friends from back home that I grew up with, they're like, wait, is this real?

So how does it work?

Yeah. They're like, what do you mean? He gave you a Lambo. I don't know.

So you're like fucking David?

I mean, it still doesn't even make sense to me. So I don't even know how to explain it.

Yeah. Are some people like, you shouldn't have taken it. Now you're going to have to do everything he says for the next— you know what I mean?

No, nobody said that, actually.

A lot of people said that to me.

I read a comment like that. I have a feeling when David gives people cars, they're just fucked for the next 4 years.

It locks them in for the next 3 years to do absolutely everything he wants them to do.

And I was like, yes, that is exactly what happens. No, but sorry, because I want to know. What's something your friends said?

Well, this one girl from my high school, she texted me a picture. It was a screenshot. And it was a text that she got from apparently one of my other friends. And it said, fuck this, I should have done Vine instead of gone to college. And I was like, whoa.

Fuck this.

Like, that's crazy. People are like, I should have done Vine. I shouldn't have gone to school.

That's so funny. Yeah, it is like a weird thing to explain. Because if I was like, if I was looking at it from their point of view, I'd be like, OK, so you got a car, but you have to—

like, what's the catch?

What's the catch? Like, there's no such thing as a free meal.

And I love how people— like, there's been people that have tried to still make something negative out of it. Well, oh, well, you got to pay insurance on it. I'm like, I don't give a fuck. Like, I just got a Lamborghini.

Yeah. So someone was like, yeah, good luck filling up that gas tank. It's going to be so expensive.

Your hair is going to be so messed up when you put the top down. Talk to me then.

Yeah, that's, that's funny.

Nothing else in the world matters to me right now. It's the weirdest feeling.

Yeah. It's— how is it? How was it the day? Yeah.

What? Jason, what's it like when you like pull into Starbucks?

And how was it? How was it the day after? Like, how was it the day after? Like, 'Cause I remember when I bought my Mercedes, that was like my first nice car. And I woke up and I went downstairs and I took a picture of it and I sent it straight to all my friends. I was like, look at what's parked outside. And it's crazy because when you have a nice car and it's outside your house, it feels like it's a pet, like waiting for you. It's like, oh, that's my property and it's waiting for me.

I need to go show it love. Dude, you should look at the camera roll on my phone. It is fucking every angle you could possibly imagine that you could possibly take a picture of the car.

It's crazy to me. How was it the morning after?

Well, I woke up and I was like, okay, if I'm remembering this right, there should be a Lamborghini in my garage.

Mariah, stay right here, I need to check something. Yes!

No, it's exactly what it was like. I went down and I opened the garage and I was like, there it is. Okay, okay, it is real, it is. It's insane. I pulled up to Starbucks And everybody's heads just— just all stare. And it's kind of— it makes me feel uncomfortable. Like, I get out and I'm like, kind of like shy, and then like close the door. It's bizarre.

What are you going to say when people ask you what you do for a living?

Well, this one guy comes up to me at the gas station. He goes, damn, bro, sick car. I was like, oh, thank you so much. He's like, you leasing it? And I was like, no, my best friend gave it to me. Like, and that sounds—

you sucking his dick?

It sounds crazy.

It's funny. We were on the road right when Heath tried the car for the first time. And Heath goes— and he points to me because there's a random person next to us. And he goes, my friend just bought me this car. And they looked at Heath like, OK. That was really, really funny.

I was in your Ferrari once. I took it out for something. And a mom from my school saw me.

Yeah, yeah, I remember that.

Did I tell you that story?

Yeah, you did.

Yeah, she was like, what the hell?

She's like, what happened? Yeah, I'll take the Ferrari out too. And people will make comments all the time like, "Have fun renting it." Like, yeah.

Wait, really?

All the time. Yeah, all the time. Like, everyone's like, "Oh, he's just fucking renting it." Like, I can hear people like at crosswalks.

That's crazy.

Like, when I'm like pulling up to one, just like talking shit.

Like, "Enjoy the rental. You got it for a day.

Cool. Cool, dude." Yeah.

Yeah. Or like, "Yeah. He's probably gonna drive the fuck out of the rental." Yeah. But yeah, you're liking it? What was that feeling like? Walk me through it. I know I was there.

Like, you mean when the gate opened?

Yeah. Um, be honest, you knew it was yours from the beginning. I know you're gonna say no because that's like the humble thing, but like, okay, so no, no, no, he, he, that's obviously he knows it's for him.

You're not gonna buy a fucking supercar for anyone but him.

When you open the gate, you looked at me and you go, I hope you like it.

Oh, okay.

You said something along those lines, like, I hope you like it. Yeah, that's how I was like, that's why I was confused. And then it opened and I was like, holy fuck, there's a Lamborghini sitting there. Is this real? I had to obviously do the whose is it, like, just to get confirmation before I freak out and look like an idiot. Yeah, um, but like when you said it was mine, like, I just— it, it is a like a weird situation to be put in. Yeah, because this is something that I'm sure 0.000001% of the population get put in. Somebody buys you a Lamborghini, like, it's not even a realistic thing. Like, like, I was gonna— I was gonna tweet a picture of my face bawling my eyes out and like, that relatable moment when your best friend buys you a Lambo, because like nobody—

like, 100%. Yeah.

Um, just pure shock.

And that's so— that's so crazy.

It is insane.

That's my favorite. I was just telling— before you guys, I was telling Jason like how like Like, as selfless as it is, it feels— it's so selfish. Like, watching someone react like that is the best. Like, watching you just be confused and just like, like, at disbelief is like the best feeling. Like, even this conversation is like so rewarding for me.

What'd your parents say?

Oh my God, my, my parents lost it, dude. They were crying. They were like, I cannot—

after the video? Yeah, they called you after the video? Yeah. What'd they say?

My mom was like, I'm bawling my eyes out right now. My dad called me this morning. Well, he texted me. He's like, do you have a minute? And I was like, I thought, no bitch, I got a new fucking car I gotta drive. I ain't got time for nobody. And then I FaceTimed him and he goes, oh shit, I thought you were just gonna give me a call. Now you gotta see me. And then he started getting choked up and he was like, I just want to tell you how proud I am. Wow. Everything you've done out there and just pushing through everything that you've dealt with. Like, I'm gonna cry thinking about this.

I was telling Jason I didn't like it didn't like it at first. When I first pulled into my driveway, I was like, I don't like this.

It's loud. And then it's incredibly loud.

And then when people started to come— like, I just didn't like the colors. And then when people started to come and like, I like started to fall in love with it. And then it got to the point where when you reacted to it, I fell in love with it so much I was getting jealous.

I could see it in your face kind of when we were on the highway next to each other. You were looking, you're like—

I was looking at— yeah, I was looking at him passing me 150 miles per hour when my car was fucking about to blow up. And I was like, fuck, I should've just given him mine. No, but yeah, I'm happy I did. That was fun.

That was fun. Dude, it's insane. Like, I want everybody to own one. I want everybody to have one just so they know what it's like.

Get to work, David.

As we're talking, as we're talking, one of my buddies just texted me, just in case we become friends one day, and he sent me a picture of a Ferrari.

That's funny.

Yeah, no. It's— yeah, that was crazy. That was like— we were trying to do that for a while, and I remember when like the— like we— like there was a chance that we were gonna do it. I was like, there's no way this is actually gonna happen. And then 3 months later it happened. And I bought the car 6 days prior to giving it to Heath.

That's crazy.

So I was just sitting on the car, like it was at my apartment in the garage, just sitting there. And like I didn't tell any of my friends. Nobody knew. And it was like the worst to hold that secret. Like there's a a fucking Lamborghini that I have that no one knows about. Like, that was the worst.

That's insane.

Yeah. And you even walked into my room and the title was like on the desk to the car.

Wait, really? That's so funny.

And I thought you'd see it because you left, and I was like, oh my God, he didn't see it. It said Eurocar, it said David Dobrik Lamborghini Huracán.

That's crazy.

Yeah, but, um, but yeah, no, I'm glad that went— that went really smooth. Oh my God, Jason, hiring is so tough.

Oh my Oh my God, you trying to get rid of Natalie?

We're trying our best.

But she's told me no. I've tried to fire her and she told me no.

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Hey, I noticed, uh, you've been really into TikTok lately.

I'm always on the app TikTok.

It's crazy, and all you guys are so into it. It's like you're all 8 years old.

Yeah, I was talking to some TikTokers earlier about this.

I— it—

a lot of people, when I mention TikTok, they kind of just laugh because they don't really like trust it as an app, but I have a feeling it's, it's It's really good. Dare I say it's as good as Vine.

I think it's better than Vine.

Yeah, the reason TikTok is so great and why it hasn't taken over Vine is because— you guys have to watch it because TikTok's great because you have like really cringy shit, like shit that shouldn't be on the internet, and then you have some like really cool shit, and then you have some like subpar funny shit, and it's like a really good mix. And their algorithm is really weird, and they like, they, they show you the best stuff and like all our friends that use it are on it for literally an hour or 2 hours a day. It's so interesting. And the reason I think it's good is because Vine— I don't mean this in any disrespectful way to any TikToker, but I feel like Vine, you needed a little bit more creativity to get like to make a Vine, right? But TikTok is so easy because you can just put a song over something, right? And you can dance to it where you don't have to like be trying to make a joke or something like that. You can just kind of be yourself more. So I think, I think that's why TikTok's like popping off, because literally anyone can do it. Yeah, anyone can do it.

That's fun.

And yeah, shout out to TikTok. I don't know, a quick little TikTok plug.

Uh, shout out to TikTok for taking my daughter's 28,000 followers because she was too young. Because she's too young. Crushed her.

Good.

Crushed her dreams.

She needs to learn.

Good. You just don't want any competition.

I'm the one that reported her account. Hey guys, um, My friend's daughter is way too young to be on this app.

What do you got? What do you have for content on there? What was your last TikTok? What was it?

I don't post. What's really weird about TikTok is I'll be, I'll be scrolling through. My sister made a TikTok about me.

I saw that one.

Yeah, there's a TikTok and it goes, and it goes, famous relative check.

Yeah.

And then, and then you do like, and then you, and then you like show pictures of who you're related to, right? That's popular or whatever. And my sister did it. It got 1.9 million likes. Yeah, that's fucking insane. Yeah, she made a TikTok about me. 1.9 1 million likes, and she had like 1,000 followers. Now she's like 300,000, 400,000 followers from it, which is ridiculous. Um, and my sister, right after it got posted, it was already at like 400,000 likes, and I got a call from my sister and she goes, uh, are you mad at me?

Yeah.

And I go, why? And she goes, um, for the TikTok I posted. And I was like, nah, nah, you're good. I would have done the same thing.

Um, but why would you be mad at her? There's nothing wrong with that.

Because she was just I guess kind of like using me. Oh, but I don't care. I think it's funny. And then my other sister went and made the same video. She made the same one. That's cute because she's also my sister, so she would get away with it.

How did hers do?

Hers did well too. I think it got like 300,000, 400,000 likes. Thank God my brother's still really young and he didn't catch on to the trend. I'm surprised my parents aren't doing it.

Famous soundcheck.

The, the pool people came back and they approved my pool.

And what'd they say?

$700,000. Which is a lot of money to build a fucking pool.

You better win that contest when we go on to that live show, bro.

What are you talking about? Deal or No Deal?

Spin— no, Spin the Wheel for $100 grand at the live show.

Oh yeah, I literally forgot. That's so much money. Like, that's crazy. In LA, it costs you $700,000 to build a fucking pool.

Yeah, you got to see David's yard because because there is no yard. He needs to like create yard to make an infinity pool, right? It's like, how do I explain it?

Well, it's like gonna hang off the edge of the house, right?

Which is really nice.

So it'll be like $700,000.

Marnie said, why don't you build the deck off the house and put the pool where the grass is? So now you have more deck and more space, but it won't be as expensive.

Maybe. I don't know. I may ditch the entire project, or I might marry Marnie.

Well, you said maybe. Uh, maybe.

No, I just think that's crazy. Like, in my hometown, if you have $700,000 you can build two homes with pools.

Yeah, a duplex.

Yeah, with huge homes with pools. And here you can't even— it's crazy. A pool's just a fucking hole with water in it.

You're also trying to go off the side of the Earth, which is pretty bold.

Thank you.

You know what I mean? Only you would be like, no, I've got to take up more space.

The problem is, which is pretty interesting—

Just hanging over your neighbor's head.

The problem is the bedrock in which the house is built into is so low. So they have to dig 30 feet into the ground and pour cement 30 feet deep just to get it to hit the bedrock.

Yeah.

That's why it costs so much, because you have to dig 30 feet just to get to somewhere where the house won't slide off. That's why when I bought this house, they told me, they're like, you're living in— like, when you buy a house, you have like an inspector come to tell you if you should get the house. And he goes, this is a high-risk property. I would not get it. And I go, but I love it. I'm getting it. So now I'm— now I'm faced with the consequences where I have to pay a lot of money to add anything to it because it's super risky.

And I know exactly what's going to happen.

What? They're going to start building and the house is just going to slide off?

No, you won't build the pool ever and you'll just live here. Because I don't think you'll ever move from here. You just love it so much.

I do.

It's not the biggest house in the world, but it is just really just perfect.

Yeah, it's just like a house.

It's just great.

Like when you think of a house, what do you think of?

Friends.

No, you think of this place. Oh.

Loved ones. Yeah, I've been thinking more about the $100,000 deal, and I'm definitely in.

Okay.

I'm definitely in.

Why?

Just because you're right. It would be so amazing.

What is this fucking change of heart? What are you talking about?

I think it's a good idea. Like, it would be amazing. Like, because if you win, it'll just be like— the crowd will really feel it if you win. The crowd will be really, really bummed out. Yeah. And let down. And if I win, people are gonna be fucking going nuts.

Yeah, yeah.

Well, here's the thing, it's a lose-lose for you. It is. Although you will get $100,000.

I did think about it, because if I win, yeah, like, I'm not gonna be able to take all the money.

Yeah, you can.

I'm just gonna feel weird.

No, you have to. That's, that's our, that's our agreement.

That is kind of our agreement. Like, when we play— but I will feel weird. It won't feel like a win.

I have my own stand-up tour, dude, okay? I don't need your 100 grand. I'm gonna make a good, you know, $600 a night.

Yeah, that's gonna be— I can't believe you're going on a stand-up tour.

I know, I can't believe it either.

Don't you need to know how to do stand-up first to do those kinds of tours? How are they letting you on stage?

I'm watching a tape. You have college gigs too.

Yeah, but I'm doing Q&As. Think the fucking—

Yours are great. Yours will just be full. I have to sit there and do swipe-ups and like promote it. It's awful.

Mine are the best. So I'm doing like the— I'm doing these college tours where I go to college shows or where I go to colleges And there's a moderator, and he asked me questions. And it's so easy, because when I'm being asked questions, I can go on forever.

Go forever.

Yeah, but it's tough to—

You love talking about yourself.

No, it's tough to make up things. It's tough to— even the podcast, it's just tough to come up with stories. But when someone asks you questions, they're asking you questions about things that already exist. You know what I mean?

Sure.

Things that people already know. So they'll be like, that video you did, why did you do it? Then I could talk about it. But making up a new story that I don't know of, Like, that's, that's more—

Scott had the funniest swipe up the other day. It said, come to— please buy tickets to my shows so I can stop promoing.

That's really funny, guys. One, one of my favorite places is coming on board as an ad this week, and it's SeatGeek. Do you ever feel like ticket websites make getting to the event difficult on purpose? Well, SeatGeek makes it a whole lot easier, guys. Let me just tell you a little about SeatGeek. Everyone knows about SeatGeek because they're the best. It's a It's in a— it's a— it's a— it has over 50,000 5-star reviews. Sorry, that's incredible customer satisfaction.

I got my tickets to Herbie Hancock through SeatGeek.

Oh yeah, you went to a jazz concert? Yeah, that was amazing.

I gotta play some of the audio. Go ahead, finish.

Okay, we're good. Okay, it's a better process. SeatGeek pulls together millions of tickets from all over the web, then it rates each deal on a scale of 1 to 10 so you know what you're getting. Finally, SeatGeek displays them on an interactive seat map so you can sit next to people and you can price out the tickets like that. See brands down the details. Green dots means good deals, red dots are overpriced, and every purchase is fully guaranteed so you can shop for tickets with confidence. I have the SeatGeek app on my phone and it's by far the fastest and easiest way to find tickets. In fact, I just use the app to buy tickets to Herbie Hancock. That's the line Jason was supposed to read because he did—

is that what it says?

No. SeatGeek will give you $10 off your first SeatGeek purchase All you need to do is use our promo code. Download the SeatGeek app today and use promo code VIEWS for $10 off your first purchase. That's promo code VIEWS for $10 off your first purchase.

Hell yeah. Okay, so I— so my son's into jazz, you know that. We went to the Herbie Hancock show.

Yeah.

And I just want to play you a sample of the audio.

Okay.

Now, now, now, mind you, I like jazz.

Yeah.

Okay, this is like way out there though. This is I played it for Carly and Zane last night. Hold on, listen to this. Whoa, it sounds like a dishwasher.

Whoa, that sounds like 10 different people are playing songs at once.

Yeah, it's like they know how to play what sounds good.

Yeah, but they're choosing not to.

No, that's why I don't understand jazz.

This was—

that sounded like there were 7 different people playing instruments, and they were all competing to see who can play their instrument the fastest and loudest, but they were doing it at the same time.

Yeah.

Like, look how good I am. No, look how good I am.

It sounds like they all have headphones on and can't hear each other.

I think jazz is like for like intellectuals. Like, I think there's something about jazz that like my brain cannot compute. Or maybe it just sucks. I don't know. I can't put it together.

I can listen to some jazz that has more order to it, like Miles Davis or John Coltrane. But this was just— Herbie Hancock is so far gone.

And you say people relax to it?

David, there was 10,000 people there, all just chilling.

It almost makes me tense, because I don't know what's going on.

That's what my ex-wife would say. It was rough. It was hard to get through. He loved it. He said it was the best. We've seen Twenty One Pilots 4 times. He said it was the best show he's ever been to. He was like, he couldn't, he couldn't get over it. And then his other nerd friend was there who's the drummer in the jazz band, and they were like texting each other and they're like, he's doing Watermelon Man.

I hope your son never listens to these podcasts. And then his other nerd friend was there. Oh my fucking goodness.

Jazz nerd. Jazz nerd.

Could you imagine if like, if you were a kid and you listen— if I listened to to this shit and my dad was like, "Yeah, and his other fucking loser friend was there." I'd be like, "Holy shit." I'm just kidding. My dad bought us pizza last night and he said he loved the show. Yeah, no, jazz is something I don't understand either. It's too deep in the music world for me. It's like advanced. Yeah.

What songs make you cry? I cried this morning listening to a song. Actually, let's cut that out.

Why? What songs did you listen to?

I heard a song this morning. Brought me to tears. I dropped Charlie off.

What was it?

Fast Car by Tracy Chapman. You heard that?

Yeah, that's a great song.

Do you know that song?

Yeah.

I didn't think you would know it.

What's that song that goes, I have to turn and leave you here. I'm gonna harden my heart. I'm gonna swallow my tears.

That song makes you cry? I'm gonna harden my heart.

Yeah, I already told you why. No, because that song— so I had a guinea pig and—

okay, we can just go—

no, no, don't get the story.

That's all the time we have for The Views podcast.

No, I had a guinea pig and, and I loved him, but I couldn't take care of him. I just wasn't good at it. And my dad went back to Petco to return him.

Yeah.

And my dad, like, you can't really return something at Petco, like, it was weird. So we just put it back on the shelf, like, in the cage. And he ran in and I stayed in the car and he kept the car on and that song was playing while he was out returning my guinea pig.

Oh, wow.

It was, "I got a heart in my heart. I gotta swallow my tears." And then it goes, "I gotta turn and leave you." It was playing while he was inside, and I was like 14, and I was just fucking— I just started to tear up. It was really funny. Also, my favorite movie is About Bob.

What did your dad say when he came back in?

Well, then I was laughing because I was like, I can't believe I just did that. So I was like, this song was playing. I think it was still playing when he was coming back. So I was like, listen to this song.

It's OK. He'll find a good home.

He'll find a good home. I mean, I hope he fucking— I hope he put him back to the peko. I don't know what he did. He could have eaten him on the way in. I don't know. I don't know how the Slovaks do it. No, and then there's another song. My favorite movie is About Time. And there's a song Ellie Goulding covers, I think, and it goes, "How long will you love me?" Or, "How long will I love you? As long as the sky." You don't know that song?

No.

Ah, fuck.

Can I look it up? Oh my god.

Yeah.

Jesus. Wow, it makes me cry in the first half a second.

Yeah, it's really sad. And, but like, But in the movie, it's like a happy—

It's in that time movie that you like?

Yeah, it's like in the happy part of the movie, but it still makes me cry.

Sure, sure, sure.

Because then they bring it back at the end of the movie. And then you're like, oh my god, this is the perfect time. Yeah, that song makes me bawl my eyes out. And then also, "Don't Stop Me Now" by Queen.

"Don't Stop Me Now"?

Yeah, and Paris.

Having a good time.

Yeah, and then "Paris" by The Chainsmokers.

Oh, wow.

I'm kidding. Now I'm just listing songs.

Yeah, um, also, let me take a selfie.

And then Toxic by Britney Spears just makes me fucking bawl. No, but those are the songs, guys. That's all the time we have for today's podcast.

I want to say I was ready to keep going, but David's right, it's time to end it.

I want to say thank you guys for listening. Um, thanks for supporting us. Thanks for buying the merch. Go buy the merch, it's 30% off. All my merch— I'm sorry, all my merch is 30% off right now, um, for back-to-school sale.

Is all my merch 30% off?

I don't think so. I think they marked your price up. Yeah, I think there's an inflation on Jason's merch. So there's no point.

Oh yeah, what do you know? They raised the prices.

No point of even going to that website. No, but go check out Jason's merch too. I'm also having a pop-up on the 24th and the 25th.

That's this Saturday.

In LA. Yeah, so I don't know if you'll be able to get there by the time you listen to this podcast. But yeah, it's in LA. It's at a mall. I don't know where it is. Just kind of try to look it up. Because I don't know where it is personally. It's in Century City. And then Jason, you have a stand-up tour?

Stand-up tour, San Diego, September. September 7th is the first date, and 21 cities.

Sounds like something I don't want to miss.

Meanwhile, the Florida show is already happening. There's a— there's people coming to the Florida show, like friends of ours. I heard last night, special guests. That means, David, you have to go. I was so excited because Zane was like, he's like, oh, I'm thinking about coming to your Florida show. And I was like, yes! I was like, it means David has to go.

Yeah, when our friends go somewhere, I have to follow. That's the worst part about this job.

See you in Miami.

Okay, guys, I'll see you guys later. This has been A View's Podcast. My name's Jeff. Bye-bye.