$2 Million Missing

What's up, guys? Welcome to Views. You may have heard of my next guest, Jason Nash, at your local dumpster. What's up, guys? It's gonna be another shit podcast. All right, let's roll the intro music.

Hey guys.

Okay, so if you're an older person that just tuned into our podcast, that was a joke we did for the younger crowd. Now we're gonna dial it in. Yeah, we're gonna dial it in. See, already you could just hear the shift. Shift in tone right there because Jason changed my words from little kid words to grown-up words. Now, now we're dialing it into more adult audience.

What are you gonna do when you're 40? What are we gonna do? You'll be all grown up.

I'll visit your grave once or twice a week. Come on now, listen, let's get back to the— let's get back to the audience. We should try to be more intellectual on this podcast.

I love that.

You have been so dumb and I've been so much smarter. I've been reading all the comments and everyone's like, David's so much smarter and more intelligent than Jason.

What comments? Where are the comments on the podcast?

Oh, there's so many of them. You got to go all over. So the comments are all— they're all talking about how intellectual I am and how you're slowing down everything.

And yeah, well, tell me, tell me some of the intellectual topics that you've expounded on.

I could talk to you about anything. What do you want to know about?

Your thoughts on 50 First Dates? Is that what you mean?

Yes. The top 200 movies. You want to know why the sky is blue?

The fact that you talk about Iron Man every week.

Ask me a question.

Okay. What chances do you think the Democratic Party has of winning the election this year?

Democratic Party. I mean, listen, take it from a guy who likes to party, right? So, so you have, you have the Democratic Party and you also have David Dobrik parties, right? So, sure, so you gotta, you gotta meet in the middle, right? And my party's all that. So, so what was your question again?

Do you know when the election is?

Yeah, a couple, couple, couple years. Do you ever, do you ever think that you're going to be so like such a mess but pretty, pretty decently successful at the same time.

No, I never did. You know what? Let me tell you something. I know, I know I am a mess. Yeah, I come around here and I am a mess and I smell and stuff and my pants are falling down because I forget to put a belt on every day.

Yeah, it's so weird. I literally almost saw your penis today because your pants were falling down.

I look like, literally like an old man at an old folks home that's like walking around who shit himself and his pants are weighing down. Yeah. And they're about my maid the other day, who's a sweetheart. I love her to death. She— Irma, she goes— she doesn't speak English that well, but she just goes, Jason, belt. You want me to get you a belt? And that's like not her job to dress me. Yeah, you know.

Yeah.

And I was like, oh yeah, yeah, Irma, that's a good idea.

So she got you a belt?

Uh, she just handed it to me. I didn't make her put it on me. Oh, but yeah. Oh, but here, my point was— this was my point— before I had this job, yeah, I wasn't pretty put together. Like, I would go to the gym I would work out, I would shower. Like, I was— I would go to dinner. I had a normal life. Like, I really did. When I was married, like, I had time to like be a human being. I literally don't have time.

Like, you say that, bro, but I shower every day.

I shower, I shower every day. I just forget to put a belt on.

It's like after we're done vlogging at 11 PM, it's like you go on a high-speed chase in like gravel, and like you have like a full nightlife that I don't know about. Like, you fucking go all the way to Vegas. You're in like— you're, you're crawling through sewers trying to get away from people. And then just when the sun starts to rise, you start making your way back to my house, and then you're here at 10 and you pretend like you weren't out all night and you're like, hey David.

I know, I know, I want to get it together. You know, Jeff, when we were in Miami, he— I helped him with this video and he went out and he bought me like a brand new outfit because it's like a makeover video.

Yeah.

And it literally, like an hour in, I just fucking spilled coffee all over it.

Yeah, I just don't think— I don't—

and I got like Ferrari grease on it.

I just don't think— I don't think using you being busy is an excuse to not shower.

Bro, I do shower.

Casey Neistat is the busiest person I know. I mean, he was when he was doing daily vlogs, and he ran 15 fucking miles a day.

Bro, that's because you're calling me all the time.

You're telling me you can't turn on—

Okay, here's an example why I'm not put together, why I can't put a belt. I'm at dinner tonight, I'm having a great time, I'm with my kids, I'm with my mom. David calls me, he goes, are you coming over here? I go, yeah. I go, and I got like all panicked, I was like, all right, he's ready. And I go, are you ready to do the podcast? He goes, yeah. I'm ready, like that. And then I come over here and you're fucking asleep and your second channel video isn't done.

It took you a long time, so I fell asleep.

Oh, bullshit.

And you know why I went to bed? Because I was worried because it was taking you so long and I didn't want to worry anymore. So I said, maybe if I sleep, my worries will go away. Because I was like, where is Jason? I hope—

When have you ever worried about me?

All the time.

When? When the fuck have you ever worried about me? Not once. You've never worried. One time we were in the Tesla and I was in the way back and he took a speed bump so fast I hit my head on the top of the fucking Tesla. And I go, ow, David! And he goes, I'm gonna to do the exact same thing right now.

Okay, don't bring that up.

You did.

That was a rough week for me yesterday.

Bullshit. When have you worried about me ever?

Yeah, you're right, I haven't.

Never.

But I'm gonna cut this part out of the podcast.

Oh, and I hate the fucking double standard that goes on around here.

What's the double standard?

Double standard? You're so nice to everybody. You give everybody a fucking pass but me all the time. Okay, fine, but even if I didn't shower, that wouldn't be a reason not to give me a Uh, the state treatment center.

Because I'm running over here to not do the podcast! I could have gone and showered, I could have had 2 hours where I was showering! I'm sitting here watching you snore!

Can I ask you a question? Why is it that Jason Nash Comedy Vlogs can't stand under a shower faucet and the president of the United States is fucking freshly cleaned every second he's out?

Because he doesn't have someone fucking telling him to come over and work when there isn't work to do! When you're sawing wood on the couch because you were out all night You're right, I'm a worse boss than every other world leader.

That's what you're saying.

You are, you're a dick to me.

I bother you more than every other country's world leader bothers the president.

You do, you call me all the time.

So you're telling me—

I don't complain about it, but don't complain about my hygiene, that's why.

You're telling me you'd have an easier job being the president of the United States than being a YouTuber that lives here in Studio City?

Working with you, yeah. I do, I do. I think I'd have more time to clip my toenails or shower. Well, bro, and I have 2 kids that I gotta fucking take care of.

To be fair, our current president goes golfing a lot, so maybe you—

Do I golf? No. Have you ever seen me golf?

Not once.

On the 3 years I've known you, have I ever said, Dave, I'm gonna head out to the links today? Fuck no. I never do that, right? I mean, that's the thing, is like, why is everybody giving me so much fucking shit? You guys are so lucky. You guys sit around here, all your little fucking 20-somethings. I see you, Carly.

Can I say something?

What?

Like, I love that you don't shower. I'm just doing it just for the podcast. I think it's the fucking greatest thing.

No, you don't.

No, I do. This— none of this would work if you were like the coolest, cleanest dude in the world. Like, it works because you're so different than every other human, right? Thank you. Like, no, like, like, you know, when I first started doing these videos, I used to complain about like shit like that. I used to be like, oh, I wish, like, I wish Jason, I wish Zane and all of them, I wish they would take their videos more seriously. I used to complain like shit like that. I was like, that's stupid. The reason my videos work is because, because they just like hanging out and having fun. I got to record it, right? And that's kind of the special thing about you is like—

Thank you, David.

Yes, you're welcome.

Of course you're fucking— that's the special thing about you, Jason, is you're a gross piece of shit.

You're so disgusting that it works. No, I don't. I don't think you're gross. And honestly, and you haven't not showered in like 2 weeks now. You've been killing it. Like, it's— you've been showering every day for the last at least, at least 15 days. No, I'm— you've made serious strides.

Thank you, David. I'm really—

you know what, while we're on it, while we're complimenting you, I looked at you yesterday when we were at dinner and I was like, wow, he's very thin.

What's going on?

I need to borrow $75,000. No, I'm out of money. I'm out of money.

Yeah, you know what, sometimes I watch your videos and I go, is he out of money? Yeah, because I just watched the second channel bit where you gave someone $10,000 that I didn't even know about. And I'm not gonna brag, but I know a lot about what David's up to in his videos. I know what he's planning. I, I'm privy to a lot of information. And then I'm just sitting there while you were asleep and Joe's cutting this clip of you just giving some rando fucking $10 grand.

Yeah.

And I was like, I go to Joe, I go, what is this? He's like, uh, I guess he was like at a college and, uh, someone farted, so David was like, here's $10 grand.

No, I was at a college and I was at a college and these, these kids donated the most to the, to the canned drive.

Okay.

So I gave them like, well, it's so funny. The fuck's so funny? So what is so funny now?

It's just like any reason you can come up with to give $10 grand. Oh, this guy Natalie was walking in, his shoe was untied. So we were like, the first guy with his shoe untied gets $10 grand.

No, no, I thought it was great.

They did. Guys like, bro, you already gave me $10 grand this morning.

No, no, no.

You were out looking for the first redhead you saw.

No, no, no. I— listen, I thought— no, I thought it was okay. I thought it was cool because they raised— they raised 900 cans in total.

Okay.

So I was like, Natalie, I want to give these kids something because that's— that's nice, right?

Sure.

So I got chicken noodle can. I gave them the can, but in the can instead of chicken noodle was a check for $10,000. As I was giving them the money, this girl to the right of them raised up a sign and she was like, I'm trying to raise $5,000 for the children's hospital. So, so I helped her out too.

So you gave $15?

So I gave $15.

So you are out of money.

But I didn't put it— I didn't want to put on my main channel because I don't want to like— I don't want every bit to be like money, money, money. So I'm kind of spreading it around. But yes, but am I right? But back to your original question, am I running out of money?

Absolutely.

I'm very scared of like looking at how much money I have left because you don't check your money. No. So I don't know at all. So like the last time I checked how much money I had was like 7 months ago and Natalie and I both took guesses how much money I had and we were off by $2 million, which is pretty cool.

You were under $2 million what you thought?

I won't say where we were.

Okay. The number we were off by, the number was, it was a big difference. And what about the Bentley that Natalie bought? Where did that come from?

What? She bought a Bentley. You know, you know, when Natalie first started working for me.

Yeah.

Like, I would like— and she, she has like the company card, right? So she can get whatever she wants on the card. And I was like, when you buy things for yourself or for your own room, you have to use your own card. Yeah, right. And like, I was like a really— like, I was a stickler about that because I was like, I don't know if I'm going to— like, I don't want her to just swipe my credit card everywhere she goes. And now it's like, now she'll come back with like a brand new mini fridge. For her room, and I damn well know she didn't swipe her credit card on it. But I don't even say anything at this point. I think we're just too lost in it.

Yeah, man.

So I'm bad at keeping track of money, but I don't spend a lot. I spend very little. I just, I just, I just give away.

What are you talking about?

I don't spend a lot. I mean, all I—

you don't buy yourself stuff? No, I don't buy anything though.

I don't buy clothes. I don't buy jewelry.

You've spent $10,000 last night on a party.

Yeah, but that was— that was a party. It was his birthday.

But don't say you don't spend a lot.

No, I know, but I'm saying like, I don't like buy like—

like, you don't go to fancy dinners, you don't buy yourself fancy clothes. Yeah, for sure.

I have a Chipotle card that gets me free food every day. Like, it's true.

It's—

I have like a really good system going here. Free food, $10,000 can giveaways. Um, no, but yeah, I don't spend a lot. So the only thing I— I mean, and then you can argue that I have a Tesla and the house and everything, but The only thing I care about is the house and the cars.

You really should watch your money. You know what happened to Dane Cook, right?

What happened?

I think it was his brother took all of his money and he went broke. You think?

And they would steal my money?

I don't know.

What does it mean when someone like Dane Cook goes broke though?

It means that they took all his money. Like, it's gone.

You guys know that Jason and I have a deal that if he makes $10 million in a year, he has to buy me a Lamborghini.

I know, I always think about that deal. And I'm like, if I were to make $10 million in the year, I probably—

I don't know. Would you, would you still do it for me?

For sure.

Oh really?

Yeah.

I've tried to buy you a sports car before.

No, no.

And then I went to the bank and I was like, I can't do this.

This next segment of the podcast is called Joe's Scene Podcast, is where we give our editor friend Joe 25 seconds to say and do whatever he does. Joe, hit it.

What's up, weenies? I don't really have much planned, so I'm just gonna use my segment today to give a quick shout out to my friend. He has a new movie coming out, guys. Go check out Jumanji 2. It's gonna be in theaters December 13th. All right, love you, Dwayne.

Your friend?

My friend Dwayne. Dwayne, I'm sure you crushed it, dude. Hit me back up on the text if you want to go. We'll go out to Chipotle. All right, thanks, dude. See ya.

Hello, it's Joe, is that you? It's The Rock. I'm on the line.

All right, that's all the time.

Just plug my movie.

That's all the time we have.

Dude, David, are you there?

That's all the time we have.

Oh wait, Dwayne, you're my friend. Don't be friends with David.

Hey, check out Jumanji 2.

Joe, why'd you waste your plug on plugging The Rock's movie?

What do you mean The Rock?

His name is Dwayne.

He's my friend. Whatever. I'm not playing this game with you, Joe. You could have shouted yourself out.

I don't want to shout myself out. I want to help my friends.

He doesn't need your help, Joe. Have you seen— fucking Rock? He owns half of America. Jason, what did you say about Joe's girlfriend the other day? I just overheard it. I thought it was really funny. Joe's— Joe Joe's girlfriend is like, is very, very beautiful girl.

Joe's girlfriend is really pretty and she's really sweet and I love her to death. Yeah, and she's fucking way out of Joe's league. Yeah, I'm just saying. And, and, and I would look at her and one time I was hanging out with her and, um, and she was sitting right there and I, I snapped my fingers right in front of her face and I like waved my hand in front of her eyes and she's blind.

No, so, so Joe is Joe's like a— like, he films, right? He films and edits for a living.

I'm also your friend.

Okay, well, I'm just explaining what you do for a job. Annalise is basically a supermodel. So, so yes, she's out of— she's out of Joe's league. But the funniest part was what Jason said yesterday. Jason goes, I found— I figured it out, Joe. I figured it out. Annalise is gorgeous. She's stunning. And you, you have a nice camera. That's why she likes you, because you have a nice camera.

You do. You have a nice— you have like A 7D, right?

A 5D Mark IV.

Yeah, that's why she likes you. I don't know, how is your relationship with your, uh, with your girlfriend?

It's great. We just moved in for the second place together and things are going well.

We have a dog.

Joe trying to convince us that he's still dating her. Second place, we've moved twice now. We're real. And every time we move, it's together and it's a decision we're doing together. I'm not living by myself. She's also living at this new location.

She had a chance to back out after the first place we got, but she decided to re-up and get the second place.

So she's still definitely— what would happen if, uh, if— is, is Annalise the one? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Is that like— that just put you on the spot?

No, because I've always felt that's weird when like people who are just dating and they're like, yeah, I'm gonna marry her, and then like 2 weeks later they end up breaking up.

Oh, you don't like saying it? Okay.

No, like, have all your girlfriends been super hot?

Be careful, Joe.

I mean, because Joe You know, you're not like heinous or anything, but Joe, Joe, who is—

which, which girlfriend of yours was the best looking?

Annalise, for sure. By miles.

Okay. Yeah, but, but like, why'd you wink at me?

I didn't. Don't say that.

No, she's great. And, and were your other girlfriends like, uh, model-y?

They like personality, man. You just have to step it up and you'll get there.

That was crazy last night. You couldn't get the horse in Saddle Ranch.

Yeah, we got— oh yeah, we did this. We did this whole bit. So for Zane's birthday, I had this whole party montage planned. It was going to be fun. Like, there's a bunch of little elements. And one of the elements was I got a horse that he could ride into the bar like a real horse. Now, I didn't tell the owner of the bar that I had this horse because I live by this thing, you know, don't ask for permission, ask for forgiveness later. So I thought maybe if I got the horse there and he saw that the horse was chill, he'd let the horse ride into the bar, which I know, I know this was a stretch, but I was like, fuck it, let's get the horse here. So I get, um, I, I take like the manager outside. His name's Jeff. I take him out to the parking lot and his back is turned to where the cars are coming in. And I go, and I go, you know how earlier in the night I was like, I'm gonna need a favor from you? And he goes, yes. And I go, okay, well, I'm about to ask you for that favor now. And I was like, that thing behind you, that's— it has a horse in it and I need— I needed to park in here. And he goes, it has a what? It has a horse. And I was like, yeah, it's a horse. And, and it came into the parking lot, and he's like, no way, that horse cannot step foot anywhere near this bar. So the horse got out and chilled a little bit in the parking lot, just kind of hung out, right? And now he's— the horse is there, and he's ready to— he's ready to act because he's a— he's an actor horse.

Yeah.

So I'm— I covered his ears, and I went up to Jeff, and I was like, listen, can the horse go inside the bar? It's gonna be 2 seconds. We just need a shot of Zane riding in the horse into the bar. And he goes, absolutely not. There's no way this horse is going into the bar. So I called off the chimpanzee that I had coming later that day and the giraffe. No, I don't know.

And he went and made phone calls to somebody and he was saying that for the right price, he was like, what's your price? What's your price?

He's saying for the right price we can get the horse in the bar. But I wasn't, I wasn't ready to like cash out like $20,000 to get this horse inside the bar.

Sure.

Yeah. Um, but yeah, that's— don't, don't bring a horse to the bar, obviously. I mean, that's obvious.

Moral of the story, I guess, the horse didn't go to the bar. Like a horse walked into a bar.

It's like a—

it's a thing. Never mind, I'm gonna put the mic down.

So you have 25 seconds.

No, there's lots of bits like that too where we don't ask and we get away with it.

Oh, you know what, there's a lot— so many times there's a lot of bits that don't make it into the vlog. Actually, a lot recently We met a guy at Saddle Ranch and same place where we had the party. And he came up to us and he's like, I— my dad does horse racing. We just won $1 million on a horse.

And I was like, slow down, slow down.

Oh, whoa.

Yeah, go ahead.

Oh, it's weird. These are both stories about horses.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Okay. This is a completely different day. Anyway, this guy came to me and he was like, yeah, we do horse racing. My dad just won $1 million on a horse.

Yeah. And David is immediately like, what? You won $1 million today? And the kid was like, Yeah, million bucks. And then David's like, immediately just thinks that he can win at horse racing, right?

Yeah.

Go.

So, so I, I turn my vlog camera on. I'm like, this is such a good, like, storyline of, of me meeting this random guy at Saddle Ranch and him telling me what horse to pick. So, so yeah, he told me what horse to pick. And then the next morning we all woke up pretty early to go to the horse track. We all dressed up, we went to the bank, got some money out. We were all wearing suits and we put the money on the horse and fucking we lost. We lost. And it wasn't just like the— it was the money that was the problem that we lost. The problem was we spent the entire day going to this horse race. Like, it was like— because the entire bit in my video was— it was like a montage of us going to the horse race. Like, there was— there was a montage while we were at the horse race. Like, there were all these little funny bits planned around it. But I had to scrap all of it because we lost. And I don't, I don't like showing a loss because it's not really fun to watch, so we just scrapped the whole thing. So yeah, stuff like that kind of stinks.

There was so much funny stuff around it too.

Yeah, we just had to throw it out.

Idea that you were gonna win again, that horse racing's just tough.

Don't ever bet on a horse, ever.

Yeah, because we, we learned, especially when you're trying to get it to go inside the bar, we heard that even the favorite only wins 30% of the time.

Do you see that YouTube is doing this thing where they're gonna take advertisements— they're gonna take ads off videos that are meant for kids? That interesting.

So what if you're a family channel? What if you're like a huge—

I don't know, I don't know, Ryan's Toys or Ryan's Toys, that wouldn't have ads on anymore.

So with that, that, that channel doesn't make money anymore?

Correct. What? Yeah, really? Yeah, from that— that's from what I hear. This could be completely wrong. I've read like 2 articles. On this, but, but, but I don't know where, like, a family channel.

I heard they're— I heard they're ending water here in L.A. They're going to turn off all the water.

Yeah. No more water.

I mean, I could be wrong about it. I'm not sure if I—

listen, this podcast isn't a factual podcast. It's kind of just—

it's kind of like rooted in hearsay.

Yeah, it's rooted in whatever I read as I'm walking over to the couch to talk about the podcast. Oh, shit. They found a Tyrannosaurus. In Orange County.

Oh, and Kylie sent me some new lip gloss. Hey, you know, a lot of our listeners are, you know, 21, 22. They're gonna be graduating college. Yeah, they're going out into the real world, as they call it.

Yeah.

What would David Dobrik tell them, uh, what to do, how to start their life as a full adult?

What would I would tell them? Yeah, um, to pursue their hobbies. Yeah, because I feel like it's easy to work on something that you really like doing. Why are you looking at me like I'm crazy?

Just work on model planes all day?

No, I mean like, like, like do what makes your hobby a job. No, like do what makes you happy, I guess. Like, like spend a lot of time trying to do what you're best at or what you enjoy the most. There's nothing— there's nothing worse than working at a job where you don't want to fucking work at. Someone, someone used the term stealing paychecks today that I heard.

Yeah, I heard that too. Who said that?

Someone at a meeting said it. He was like, he was like, yeah, I got a job out of college and I loved it so much I felt like I was stealing paychecks. Oh yeah, that was really interesting. Get a job where you feel like you're stealing a paycheck, where it's like where you do not feel like you're working at all. And I don't know, I don't know, like, I don't know how you— how that happens or how you get to a job that you're stealing paychecks. But like, especially with, with the new age of the internet and stuff, there's so many ways to find new jobs.

And yeah, my advice would be, you know, like when I look at Dima, my assistant, you know Like, just get a job.

Your assistant is a complete oddball, I must say. Before Dima miraculously worked for you in Los Angeles, in the most beautiful city in America, he, um—

what was Dima doing?

He got fired from maybe 7 different jobs.

He did?

Yeah, he got fired a lot. He just said incorrect. Go ahead, Dima, get on the mic. Turn, turn the mic on for yourself.

I did no research on Dima before hiring him. None. I did zero. You know, he could have a— actually, one night we were riding home and he was like, uh, yeah, you know, I do have a bunch of court dates back in Chicago. I was like, for what?

You know Ilya, my friend Ilya? He has a plumbing company, right?

Yeah.

You know he hired and fired Dima twice, right?

That son of a bitch. Because Ilya called me at least 9 or 10 times begging me to hire Dima.

Well, yeah, because Dima wanted to go back into the plumbing business probably, and Ilya was like, no way. Because Ilya Ilya is his best friend. Ilya is his best friend and he fired him twice.

What happened when Ilya fired you? How'd you get fired? What'd you do?

Okay, first off, I'd like to say that David has this very problematic thing that he does where he exaggerates.

Not exaggerating.

Of course he— yeah, of course he exaggerates. He's a— yeah, he's a comedian.

Did you go on my Wikipedia page and see, oh, he got fired January 1st, 2015?

Okay, how many times were you fired from working for Ilya?

Ilya never fucking fired me, you dumbass. Bullshit, bro. There were a whole list of things that just did not work with us.

Okay, I'm calling Ilya.

He's going to say he fired me. Yeah, because that's what makes him look good. That doesn't mean that happened. Go ahead. I'll FaceTime him. He'll say the same thing.

I'm calling him right now. I'm calling him right now. And he's going to be pissed because it's 1 a.m. there and I'm going to wake him up.

I know what he's going to say. He's going to say, yeah, he fired me, but that's not the truth. We agreed I'll do this, I'll do that. And then the responsibilities kept adding up. My money wasn't coming in. I told him, listen, uh, I'm gonna need pay for the next 2 weeks and I'm leaving, or else you're not paying me and I'm leaving. He said, all right, I'll pay for the 2 weeks. And then I left. And then I came back to help him again for free, and we did that like 3 times.

Oh, okay. Yeah, so it wasn't really a fired situation.

No, we just— it wasn't gonna work out.

You know what's really funny? You want to hear something really funny? Fucking my ex-wife loves Dima. Loves, loves, loves. And the kids, they love Dima.

Yeah, bro.

And my man, huh? They love him, says David, who has Capri Sun in his fucking fridge. You 3-year-old, shut the fuck up!

Don't bring up my Capri Sun.

No, I'm sorry, I've never— I— and it's so funny because like, hold on, I love Dima. Dima's—

of course, I'm just saying He has been fired multiple times from other jobs, not from Ilia, bro.

Would you—

yeah.

What'd you get fired from?

I would find a better job, stop showing up, and then they would call me and say, hey, listen, this is unacceptable. And I said, okay.

So, oh, oh, oh, so you got fired because you just stopped showing up?

Yes, but he would do that multiple times where he, where he'd like, he would get a new job at American Eagle and then he'd be walking down the street and all of a sudden he'd see a bright sign in the Jamba Juice window saying, "Now hiring." And then he'd be like, "You know what? I like juice. I'm not going to go to work tomorrow." And then he'd apply to the Jamba Juice place at the same time getting fired from American Eagle. That's what Deemo would do.

Okay. I never worked at either of those locations.

But what is your— I mean, we should have a job interview now that you're hired.

Yeah, sure. Let's do it halfway through.

Okay. Where do you see yourself in 5 years?

Jason, where do I see myself in 5 years?

Go tell us. This is your job interview to be Jason's assistant. Go. Where do you see yourself in 5 years?

Probably doing my own thing. Jason, sorry.

Probably doing my own thing. That sounds like you're going to be dealing drugs out of a basement.

David begged me to hire you, by the way.

Yes, I'm—

He begged me. I'm here. He said it. I'm here so many times.

I think you're— I think you're— Now listen, when I told him to hire you, I didn't mean for him to hire you as Jason's assistant. I went, when he hired you, I meant for him to like hire you and pay you just for you to hang out. Cause I thought that would be funny. I was like, you should pay Dima just to hang out.

Oh, is that what you meant?

Yeah.

That's what you said, Jason. Jason, you said that as a joke.

Yeah, Jason, you said that too. And then all of a sudden you started giving Dima jobs and I was a little bit worried. I was like, you sure you want Dima doing these tasks for you? Like, you sure you want Dima booking your flights? Like, that's scary. Like you're going to—

He does a good job. He screws up once in a while, but we all do.

You have a show in Irvine. Next thing you know, You're in Tijuana, Mexico, and you can't get back because you didn't bring your passport, because really you were just supposed to go down the street.

Oh, so, so let me get this straight. You wanted me to hire Dima to hang out?

Yeah, Dima is great to hang out with.

Oh, you just wanted him to hang out? That's so funny. I got the wrong message. Oh yeah, because when I hired you, I was like, well, this would be good, David will like this, that Dima's around.

How is he? How is he at work?

He's great. I— the, the best part about Dima is he, he, um, he doesn't, he doesn't talk to you a lot.

Yeah, he is very quiet.

Like, he's great. Like, he'll pick me up from the airport and have like a nice silent ride home.

He lived here for like a month, and the only time I would see him was when he would come into my room. And you know what, he fucking— this is— this drives me nuts. People won't understand this because they don't know Dima. Yeah, but he'd say shit like, he'd come into my room and he'd go, yo man, this would be like at 1 AM, like I'm watching TikToks on my phone and I'm like, everybody's gone to bed, whatever. And he'll come into my room and he'll go, yo man, I'm going to Beverly Hills on Thursday, do you want anything? And Beverly Hills is— it's 20 minutes down the street.

Sure, right?

So why are you asking me this? Like You're going to Beverly Hills in 4 days and you want to know— you want to know if I need anything? No, Dima's great. I just— he— yes, he has gotten fired from Ilya a couple times and he won't admit it because he's a liar, but he's great. He's good.

Would you rather just hang out?

I have humility. I would definitely admit to being fired from Ilya or any job.

How many times have you been actually fired?

Multiple times. I mean, I can't count, but it's always like—

but not from Ilya.

My last job was Amazon. Yeah, I moved here. I didn't tell them because it's a fucking job. I don't give a shit about what they think about me.

This is your employee. This is your employee. Dima literally— Dima literally in front of his boss just goes, it's a fucking job. I don't give a fuck what they say about me. This is who you have hired. Yeah, dig yourself out of this one.

I will. Here's the difference.

Yeah, I like Jason.

That was a job. Working for Jason is a career.

You keep telling yourself that, Dima.

There is a big difference between a job and career. This is your career, David.

Yeah, right.

Okay, if you worked at Potbelly's— yeah, do you think you'd have the same—

yes, I think every job you have, you're supposed to do it to the best of your abilities, and you're supposed to fucking give it 110%, any job you have.

Hey, sorry, Amazon, I need to put in my 2 weeks. Um, I was supposed to leave a month ago. To go live.

Yeah, that's the call.

You're supposed to tell your job. You're supposed to be like, hey, 'cause not only does it build good karma, but if anybody ever, who knows, that person that hired you at Amazon in a couple weeks can be working a job at Sony when you're going for a job at Sony. And then that person will be like, no, this guy fucking ditched out on us and ran away to California to work for Jason Nash Comedy Vlogs. I don't trust this guy. I don't trust this guy. I'm not hiring you at Sony. Because I saw you at Amazon. So every job you have, you should fucking treat like it's the fucking golden goose of jobs.

Okay, to be fair, every job that I've been fired from were jobs that treated me like garbage.

Anyway, that's all the time we have for today's podcast. Thank you, Jason, for having one of your employees on the show who I know won't be here probably next week after this conversation.

I actually have court next week, Jason, if I could get that whole month off.

Whole month off. I have court tomorrow. Can I have the next month off to deal with the pain? What do you go to court for? Just traffic tickets.

Actually, on my way to Los Angeles, me and Reggie got pulled over 20 minutes into our ride and I got a ticket for going 35 over the speed limit.

Jesus.

In Chicago?

I didn't even leave the city.

How many times have you been pulled over? This is interesting. This is a real fact. How many times have you been pulled over? Be 100% honest. Don't, don't—

Pulled over and gotten the ticket or just pulled over? Just under 20.

Isn't that insane?

Pulled over 20 times.

Jason, this is not an exaggeration. Exaggeration.

In my new car, only once for that 35.

How many tickets have you gotten, like, that are still on my record? Or no, how many tickets have you gotten in total? Like, no warnings, just tickets, straight up tickets for just moving violations? Every, every, everything. Every time you've sat in your car, like 12, 13.

You're back fast with me.

Yeah, dude, Ilya would surprise him.

I ran every stop sign on my way here with you.

We all run those stuff.

Jason, it doesn't even make sense. I don't know how his license isn't taken away. These are—

has— I've just gotten it back.

Oh, okay. Yeah, you've got your license back.

Yeah.

So Ilya would surprise him with like some money to pay off his tickets, but 2 weeks later he'd have completely new debt. Were they sent to collections ever?

Well, yeah, but I've taken care of those. Ilya wants to surprise you with money for, for tickets. He would surprise me with money just period. And then I would use all of it on those tickets. Yeah, it would pay off a third of them.

Sure. Well, regardless, I've never met anybody that's gotten pulled over that much. He has like the— he has like a— cops love this kid. Cops love this kid.

You guys should have seen my old car. I looked like a drug mule. And imagine someone—

it looked like a drug mule.

Imagine someone like me with half of my eyes open getting pulled over by a police officer going 5 miles over the speed limit. They're gonna bump those numbers up, bro.

Yeah, Dima does have like this like I'm fucking blazed face, so I think that's why.

Oh yeah, you do have an I'm blazed face.

Yeah, it's like I'm always high.

You do look like you're high, but you smoke pot at all.

Oh, we don't know that. All right guys, that's all the time we have. Again, thank you for, uh, listening. Um, go buy the merch. The Black Friday sale is coming, um, for all the merch. Everything's gonna be up to 40% off, so, uh, get your money ready for that.

Yeah baby.

Thank you guys for listening. Uh, follow Jason on Instagram, follow me on Instagram, follow Dima on Instagram, follow Joe on Instagram. Everybody follow them on Instagram. We'll see you guys later. This has been the Views Podcast. My name is Jeff. See you later. Bye.