The World's Best Party Cities

What's up guys, welcome back to Views. We are back, still in Bangkok. The trip continues. This is the pod continue. This is a new day. We've now been here 3 days. Ilya, do you want to fill us in on how those 3 days went?

Well, I've only actually been here 2 days.

Yeah, so what he means by this— bear with us here. We had— and everyone chime in on this because this is quite, this is quite spectacle of a night we had. Like, I've I've always said this, I've said this on the pod before, I'm bad at vacationing because I only see the nighttime. I have taken it to a new level of ruining my vacation. We went out drinking, what was it, Friday night? Yeah, we went out drinking Friday night. We stayed up till about— we started drinking at like 9 PM Friday night, which is the problem. I can't pregame. I've always said this, but we were with some new guests, new friends, so I wanted to impress them. So I started drinking and then got really drunk around 5, 6 AM. Well, I got drunk at 11 PM.

I was gonna say you were blackout by literally 11 Yes.

How many beers did you have?

2 hours.

I don't drink a lot.

Okay.

Normally.

I see.

So that's—

I was confused. I only saw him have like maybe 6, 7 beers throughout like the whole night.

Did you get roofied? I think I got alcohol poisoning from 5 beers. Did I get roofied? No, I didn't. I was with my drinks all night.

Yeah.

I mean, I don't think I would know.

Okay.

But anyway, so, uh, yeah. And then around 8 AM, long story short, this is what I'm trying to get to. Passed out at 8 AM. Was throwing up for the next 7 hours. Natalie called me, called the hotel to call me.

I couldn't get a hold of you for many hours.

Yeah.

And I was like, well, we should maybe just really try to get a hold of him in case he's not okay.

Yeah. So, so my phone rang at 5 PM that Saturday. The next day it's already 5 PM. I'm still sleeping.

Yeah.

I pick up, I tell Natalie I'm alive, immediately go to bed because I can't stand because I'm so dizzy. And then the next time I wake up is 6 AM the next day. And Ilya Same situation with you?

Yeah. So basically, in summary, we went to bed or we went out Friday night, but we didn't end up getting up until Sunday morning, which is horrible, which is actually very Bangkok appropriate.

If you've seen Hangover. Yeah, it very much felt like it.

Like it felt like we erased an entire day.

Like a time capsule, coma, whatever you want to call it. It was— it's wild. It's really crazy.

Yeah.

And not in like a fun way. And like, damn, we lost— we lost our Saturday night.

Yeah.

I don't know.

I haven't slept this well in— I'm not kidding— like 2 years. I slept for 18 hours, Jay. 18 hours.

I'm not kidding.

That's not an exaggeration.

Which is really good.

It was so good.

You had like a day yesterday. You went out and did things.

Yeah, when Naveen and I woke up around 8 AM, as you guys were coming in, and we went to a floating cafe.

Oh, man.

And we joined—

Wait, before we get into you and Naveen, I heard things didn't start off on the right foot this morning.

I woke up in a bad mood. And then so what happens is I wake up in a bad mood.

I like when Jason gets real because like we were like, he was setting up the pod. Naveen is here too, his wife. Um, and I— he was setting up the pod equipment and he's like, I guess I just gotta be softer with Naveen.

That's not what I said.

No, you said—

that was the sentiment. Yeah, yeah, that was the words.

I changed it to make the sentiment more clear. But what you, what you said was, um, I have to be more careful with Naveen.

Yes.

That's what you said.

Yeah.

Um, but it's really funny cause it was just like, you could tell that he really wanted to talk about it and that was the perfect time when he was just like fumbling with the podcast equipment. And then we were like, oh shit, what happened? So Naveen, through you.

Oh shit. Let me pretend to care.

No, I love this type of stuff. This is, this is the real life drama. What's going on, Naveen?

So not really drama at all, but like, so I woke up like really early. I have like a little bit of jet lag and he like looks at me, he's like, why are you awake? And I was like, oh, I just can't sleep. And so he goes, well, go back to sleep. Like, what do you mean? Like, how are you awake? And I was like, okay. So I stayed up and then we went to breakfast and we sit down at breakfast and he's like, man, we're going home in a couple days. That's good. And I was like, I could stay for like another 2 weeks. Like, I'm like, I can vacation for so long, but I think some people just like No, Jake can't vacation.

Yeah, for a while.

Yeah, I just woke up in a bad mood and then, then she's like, uh, but you also said it wasn't your fault when you were telling us. I said it's not my fault.

You literally said those exact words.

I did not.

When, right when you said that, that's when I was like, oh, this is amazing, hold it because I want to talk about on the pod.

I go, I go, it's not my fault.

Do you remember?

I said it was my fault.

Yeah, no, no, you said it's not my fault. That's what you said, Jay. I'm not even kidding. That was the exact moment where I was like, please bring Naveen down for this pod. I can't imagine when you could so confidently be not your fault about that. She'll be like Yeah, it really wasn't his fault.

No, I was thinking the—

I don't—

it might have came out of my mouth, but what I was thinking was, I gotta— when I'm in a— if I wake up in a bad mood, it just transfers over to her, and then she thinks that I'm mad at her.

Sure, sure.

But I'm just mad at myself. I just hate myself. That's all it is.

That is how you— that is like your— that is how you travel though. Like, isn't that how Jason is?

Well, you know, it was funny yesterday. I don't even know if this was like— if we talked about this on the last pod, but Jason like actually finally admitted— he was like, I really don't know how to relax. Like, he just like can't take a beat and just like take take a deep breath and would be like, oh, I'm in Thailand, I'm on vacation with my fucking amazingly beautiful hot gorgeous wife.

Wait, what did he say? What was this? He like used a word. Was it to relax, or was it like— it was like jittery or something?

You did—

you did reveal something about yourself that we've all known.

I said it— I said it while I was setting the podcast up. It wasn't on the podcast, but I said it right before.

So all things come out of your mouth when you're setting up the podcast? Yeah, that's the only moment you have self-realizations. Hey, we just gotta start recording in the audio equipment. Damn. Okay, right on. Yeah. Because you don't like to relax. And I say this about Jay a lot. Like, we'll be— we'll be doing whatever. Like, we'll be in Santa Barbara on a beach chair and he'll be like, isn't this amazing? And then I'll be like, in my head, I'll just like— I'll be like, he's fucking full of shit. Like, I don't know. Like, I don't even know if he's saying it because he thinks it or just he knows. He knows. Like, his brain, like, computes like, water, beach, friends, amazing. Tell him, tell him, tell all your friends. Like, that's— that's how he thinks. He's not— He's not, 'cause I know, 'cause 10 minutes later, he'll be like, I gotta go check on Charlie. I gotta, like, 10 minutes, 10 minutes, he'll get some kind of bug of stress. And that's how he operates everywhere. So like, I don't know. So I don't think he likes doing the relaxing things as much as he does.

Do me in an earthquake.

Well, when there was an earthquake in LA, I'm like sleeping next to him and Charlie's in her room. And I'm like, oh, I think, he's like, there's an earthquake. And I was like, Yeah, I felt it. And I'm like just relaxing. He goes, earthquake. He goes, Charlie!

Oh my God. Oh, he like processed it like it was a movie.

Jumped out of bed and was just like screaming her name, like running down the hall for her. But it's like it already passed. It was like 3 seconds.

It was like a 2.3 magnitude earthquake.

Oh my God.

Did it knock anything off the shelves?

No. Oh, it was like a gentle like push.

Earthquake. That's really funny.

Or like he'll like wake wake up and he'll— I'll be like, hey, something wrong? And he's like, no. And then he goes in like the next room, but I can still like hear him. I'll be like, oh my God, are you good? And he's like, I'm just talking to myself. Like, that's normal. Like, people can just talk to themselves. And I'm like, oh cool.

Okay, well, yeah, so JC, we all know this about you.

Yeah, I guess it's not your fault.

Uh, no, it is. Yeah, it's my fault.

This hotel, I also have to say, is incredible. They did— did you guys saw what Jason said? He didn't care that they did this, but I think he was kidding.

Yeah.

What they did for me this morning was I travel with my own blanket, like my own duvet.

Yeah.

I put in a care— I put in a checked bag, and my second checked bag is my pillow and my blanket from my bed. So everything feels like my home when I'm here. And they noticed, the hotel noticed that there were two buttons broken on the blanket, and I got back with a note on my bed and it had the— and it said, we noticed your blanket was broken, so we fixed it. And they put the buttons back on the blanket. That's fucking incredible.

We saw the podcast was not uploaded yet, so we created one.

Yeah.

And it's live.

Oh my God, that'd be amazing.

Yeah.

Like another hotel I stayed at in Hong Kong. This seems to be an Asian, Asian country trend. When I was in Hong Kong, I would bring my pillow everywhere and they said, we noticed you had a pillow, so we want— we bought you a pillowcase so like you can, you can travel with it. Like a pillow holder for the airport.

Yeah.

And that was the first time I ever had a pillow holder, and it changed my life because I used to put it in garbage bags.

Yeah.

So every time I come to Asia, I'm very, very like taken care of by these people. This is, this is crazy. But I was telling Natalie, do you think this hotel is like too nice?

What?

Like, what do you mean?

Like they all say hello?

Yeah.

What do you think about that?

Well, I will say like the staff to guest ratio is like 8 to 1.

I'm not joking when I say that.

And like, they— like, we were at breakfast and they walked up to us. Like, this is gonna sound so fucking bad.

I know, I know, I know.

But like, I don't know, I just— in my head I'm like, if my mom did that, I'd be pissed off too.

No, no, no.

Like, and they just walk up to you too many times, you're like, I get it.

Like, I'm good, I'm good.

It's not that. It's— it's you go to the walk to dinner.

Yeah.

And you encounter at least 14 staff members and they all stop what they're doing turn to you and they bow.

I think that's a cultural thing.

I know, but it's like, it almost makes me not want to walk around because I'm like, just do, just do your thing.

I saw one guy, I started to walk in the hallway and he was coming around a corner and he basically just fucking turned around.

No, because he like stuttered. He was like, no, like, they'll see you, like, stops in your tracks.

I'm like, the hallway is huge, we both can walk.

No, but it's not like that. Like, like, they'll see you waiting for the elevator and they'll be like, fuck it, I'm gonna take the stairs. Yeah, like, it's like they want to give you so much, like They just— it's just so tranquil, but it, it just feels too— like, I feel bad.

You really want to fuck them up? Try to do it.

If you thought you said you want to fuck them all.

No, if you really want to fuck them up, try to do their job while something's happening. They flip. They're like, oh, oh really? Like, they brought in room service last night and I decided to help put some of the things from the cart onto the dining room table.

She was like, don't do that.

She was like, oh no, no, no, no, no, no.

I ordered, I ordered Diet Pepsi. Yeah, the other day. And I noticed it was taking longer. And then I saw other waitresses walking around with Diet Cokes, and in my head I'm like, oh my God, I just ordered a Pepsi when they only have Coke products. And now this woman is probably on the most insane hunt for a Diet Pepsi, even though they don't have it at this hotel. That's why she's been gone for an additional 3 minutes, because she's going down to the next nearest hotel.

She's on the back of a scooter. She's on a boat.

She's like, I gotta find this guy.

She goes to Taiwan on a plane.

They don't have them in this country, but we'll get you the Pepsi, sir. So like, yeah, you do have to be a little bit more— you have to be a little bit more careful. And like, when I was coming— when I was going to breakfast today, like, first, like, the first 3 people are like, hi David, good morning. And then the last one was like, hey David, your friends are all sitting here waiting for you.

That—

it was like fucking AI. How do you know this about me? How do you know they're here waiting for me?

That's it. When I walked in—

fucking crazy. I'm talking about this like it's all a negative thing, but it's, it's all really incredible. I'm blown away by it. Yeah, I very much Yeah, okay. Yeah, what?

Well, when I walked into breakfast too, I was, I was just gonna walk straight to you guys. I knew you guys were sitting in there, and she like came to get me. She was like, Mrs. Natalie. And then I was like, oh, I'm just meeting friends or whatever. And she was like, oh, I know, I know. And she brought me like right to you. Like, I was like, the fact that she just knows that we're all here.

And then 4 staff members picked Natalie up and carried her over.

Must not touch the floor. Wait, was that one of those squeals that people always talk about? People always say, can Jason stop squealing? Yeah, I never know which one it is, but I think I just caught it. Was that it?

Yeah, yeah.

Oh really?

It wasn't that high. There's been better ones.

Yeah, no, but people say it's really loud. Does it come loud through the mic? Um, Jason's the only one—

he's really in it.

Jason's the only one that wears the headphones while we've pod, so we don't actually know what the squeals sound like. But I do hear your feedback.

You could easily pick up an episode and take a listen.

I can't, dude. For once, I'm terrified of listening to these things.

They're not bad.

If I hear— no, I don't think they're bad. I just have like such— I have such a mindset of how they are.

Yeah.

Before they go out.

Yeah. I mean, you're here when we do them.

I know, but sometimes, like the last couple, we've kind of shot like in a straight go, but sometimes we'll record a podcast for an hour and a half.

Yeah.

And I'll be— and I'll have no idea what was used. Um, and I just like would rather not want to know who decides that. Um, Jason, and then Natalie decides if Jason made the right decision.

Yeah.

And for the record, when the podcast is late, guys, It's not my fault. The comments read, you old fuck, it's about time, you don't know how to edit, goddamn it Jason, you fucked this up. There's a process. I edit it, then Natalie has to listen to it. Natalie's working on lots of things.

Yeah, right.

She can't always listen to it right away.

Um, no, I just feel like that's just like a trend for people to just pick on you sometimes.

Yeah, I don't think you should take it so— you take, you take these very personally. One of our friends called Jason an old fuck on the phone the other day. Oh yeah, and he— Jonah. Okay. And Jay wouldn't let it go.

Yeah, really?

For like 2 weeks, bro. Jay was like— and I was like, I was like, and I've seen this, I've seen this happen in person. We joke around with you all the time, and I think you know every time we're joking.

Yes, I do.

Um, but like, then there'll be like a random person—

except when I'm crying—

there'll be like a random person on the street that'll hit you with like an old fuck or something, and, and you'll just— you won't be able to take it like a joke. You'll just be like, you'll be like, oh Okay, yeah, that's bipolar Jay. Oh really?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, that's, that's like my brain.

And I don't know who to feel bad for. Do I feel bad for Jay for being called the old fuck here, or do I feel bad for this kid who like really wanted to like bounce back and forth with Jason? Jason just is like, stop.

Um, but yeah, do any people do that to you ever?

Call me an old fuck?

No, not an old fuck.

Do they call you like something that was like a joke from the video? Like, do they probably say stuff about your height? Because I make a lot of jokes.

No, actually. Oh my God. Contrary to popular belief, everyone always goes, wow, you're a lot taller than David says.

Really?

Yeah. Every time. He was so psyched at the club the other night because he walked up to me. He's like, yo, I'm the tallest guy here.

Oh yeah.

I said that?

Yeah.

Well, you said something else too. Ilya's really thriving in Bangkok.

He said he came out of the urinal.

He's like, no, no.

I said there's a lot of tall dudes here.

Oh no.

I said I have the biggest dick in the bathroom.

In the urinal.

Yeah.

That's what you said.

The urinals were close. Yeah, you couldn't not see other people's dicks.

Yeah, I saw them.

I remember, I remember being there. Yeah, I was insane. I don't know why they do that. And the, the one in the Taiwan airport, yeah, had fucking glass, had a mirrored glass right where the urinal is. So you saw the reflection of your own dick, which I hate seeing. I'd rather see other people dicks than my own dick in a reflection. Um, and you see everybody's reflection from the side reflection. Yeah, so you're just fucking So it's a straight dick show.

People like dicks, you know.

I used to think dicks were really ugly, but I've been trying to come around to it.

Yeah, people— there are people that do, right?

Okay, what is it?

Gorgeous.

Yeah, well, Naveen's made me change my thoughts on dicks.

Really?

Like other people's?

Well, like, no, just my own. I think my whole life I've been like, oh, so gross. Are you sure balls are so gross? Yes. Yeah, why do you— you've asked me that a few times, dog.

He loves knowing, dude. If there's one guy that loves dick, it's fucking Ilya.

I swear to God, you asked me that like 3 podcasts ago.

Were you with me on the pod when I said that you made us ask to see your dick in the hot tub for like 4 months straight? I think I said this when you weren't around. Yeah, but you love talking about your penis.

No, I actually don't talk about it.

Not anymore, because we all saw it and you got to prove to us that it's the best penis out of the friend group.

Yeah, he wanted to show his dick in the hot tub.

He just winked at me. He's like, wasn't it?

But, uh, do you ever watch, um— I may have asked this question before, but are you ever like watching a porn video and No matter how hot—

oh my God, dude, you say this all the time.

No matter how hot the girl is, I will click off the video if the dick is not nice.

He says this all the time.

I'm not kidding. What's nice to you? Like a big tin can? Like a can? Like a—

no, like, like, uh, long. Just like a nice looking dick that's like, yeah, kind of big. I don't know.

Sure, sure. If you see a porno on the small dick, you click off.

Okay, good.

I'm with you.

All right, no more dick talk.

That's— I can do this.

Did you see the new big dilemma that is going around? It's the Usain Bolt versus Joey Chestnut theory.

No.

Or question. Have you seen this?

No.

Oh, it's amazing. So you know who Joey Chestnut is?

Hot dog eater.

Competitor eater. Can you eat a hot dog in like, I don't know how fast. Do you know how fast? Very fast. I could basically liquefy this fucking hot dog. Who would win in a 100-meter race where they both also have to eat a hot dog? Usain Bolt or Joey Chestnut?

What do you mean?

Eat it first and then run, or eat while running?

Eat it first and then run.

Usain Bolt.

What, are you on crack?

But, but Joey Chestnut would have a head start.

That's crazy that you guys have this argument because I thought it was very clear that it was the other way.

Okay, let me— okay, you're saying like, just start and then Joey Chestnut's like— then Usain Bolt. So Joey Chestnut's already like 40 meters ahead, and now Usain Bolt comes in.

Yeah, well, it depends. I think it depends on how quickly this chestnut guy can run. Like, if he runs a 15-second—

No, I think the race is decided within the hot dog portion.

Interesting.

Yeah, 100%. I mean, there's no questions asked.

No, because if it takes an additional 4 seconds for—

What's a regular Usain Bolt, or what's a regular 100-meter time?

Like, for a regular person?

High schooler?

13 seconds.

Okay. For Usain Bolt, 8 seconds?

9.8.

9.8?

9.65. 9.63.

Are you just making this shit up, or, you know, this is not 5.8?

Okay. Okay. So let me fact-check. 9.5. No, don't fact-check it. 9.58. Whatever.

Yeah.

So that's— yeah, it's going to take Usain Bolt more than 4, 5, 6, 7, 8 seconds to finish a hot dog. Joey Chestnut clears.

Like, finish, like, in your mouth?

In your mouth. Open your mouth. Doggone. Uh, it's not like you put it in and you run with it and you're chewing it while— no, no, you clear and then you go.

I don't know, man. Usain Bolt's very fast, and this Chestnut guy does not sound that fast. This Chestnut guy sounds like he would run a 20-second 100-meter dash.

Oh, it is interesting.

So we went to a zoo the other day Yeah, can we just all openly talk? This may be controversial. Yeah, so Peter, if you're listening, fucking put your earmuffs on.

No, they should listen, right?

You're not gonna want to hear what I have to say about the zoos.

Well, actually, I don't know. I don't know, actually know where I lean with zoos. I'm so 50/50 on zoos. Yeah, I see both sides. Like, I'll go— I feel, I feel like it's also like I'm animalist. So I'll see some animals and I'll be like, yeah, cage them up. But then I'll see others, I'm like, whoa, why the fuck are you here? Yeah, like I'll see pelicans and shit and I'll be like, there's a lot of them.

Yeah. Or you see, you see some animals at the zoo and you're like, these guys look happy, these guys are having the best time.

And then you'll see an elephant or an orangutan and you'll be like, what the fuck are they doing here?

Yeah.

So like, so okay, so here's my hot take on— this isn't hot, this is hot. Can you guys tell me what you think about this first, just so I can fall into place.

I think it depends on the zoo. I think there's some zoos that are actually like a sanctuary and doing like rehab and stuff, and there's others that are just pure entertainment.

Well, I would hope that all zoos are doing— I thought that, I thought that was just like a zoo thing in theory, but not really. Well, that, well, that's why I'm saying like, don't all zoos claim that they're doing— yes, yes.

Okay, but that's the issue.

It's like, are you just making things up? Like, is that—

I think that's part of the issue is like some of them are not.

Okay, so why I think—

I'm a really big zoo person.

Well, why I think zoos are important is because it's like to have a kid come in and to like be inspired by that, like to see an animal either in distress or just to see an animal in general and to fall in love with that animal in person is so important to people that will make a difference with animals later. Like there's not a lot of places that you can affordably like see animals in person, right? Like unless you're going like to safari.

And what's the value in that? What's the value in looking at a gorilla or giraffe?

Well, you may see one gorilla locked up. One kid may see a gorilla that's locked up and then he saves a whole species later.

Oh, I thought you meant from like a learning perspective.

No, no, I'm saying— yeah, I'm saying he like, he falls in love with this creature because he gets to see it in person, and in return we get a Steve Irwin, or in return— do you know what I mean?

I mean, I wanted to be a marine biologist for the longest time just because of like the dolphin show at the zoo, you know?

Right.

Okay. And how would you— how would you save the dolphins by becoming a marine biologist other than storming it— storming SeaWorld? With this machine gun.

Well, I'd just be out there in the field on my boat, like, interacting, playing with them.

Police head always goes to vacation.

Like, all— like, I'll just be on the boat with my girls, whatever job she has that has to be on a boat. Um, okay, so what was I saying at the zoo yesterday?

You were just walking and you're like, what if, what if they caught us? What if, like, the animals caught humans What would our zoo look like? Would we be in a house? Yeah, like that.

I was curious because like obviously every little habitat is made like, like where the animal's from, right? So you'll have the camels, it looks like a desert. The penguins, there's some ice. Water for the walrus.

Yeah.

So for a human, would it be like a house and a pool? Would it be a townhouse, an apartment? Yeah, infinity pool. Like what? Like whatever, whatever alien.

A club. A clown?

They capture me with 5 beers on the side and some hangover pills and Advil. No, but like, yeah, what would it be for us? And then I was like, what if Earth is the zoo? You know what I mean?

Oh, what if we're being held captive?

Yeah, what if we're— what if we're already being watched like a bunch of zoo animals? I know it was a little deep, but you know what I'm saying about the house thing?

Yeah, yeah.

Listen, I'm battling a hangover right now, man.

Try my best. You guys should put educational as your category.

Well, I'm trying. That's what you don't realize, that I'm trying to get more educational because I want people to— I want people to go to work and be like, you know what I learned on The Views podcast? That we— that Earth is a zoo.

Yeah.

And I want people— I want— I want things to strike conversation.

You want their— you want employees to get job promotions by sharing your facts?

Yeah.

Nice. Yeah, I could see that.

Anybody want to see my penis? We went to the red light district. Um, I think that's what they call it here.

Ladies of the night.

Ladies of the night. Yes, there's more. And a lot of them are ladyboys. That's like the thing here in Thailand. Okay, so you walk down the street, it's like an alleyway.

You weren't there?

No, no.

Oh, Jay, you weren't there? Oh, it was me, Natalie, Ilya, and Ferris, right? That's who it was. Oh, Ferris wasn't there either, if his girlfriend's listening. Um, okay, so basically you walk down this road. It's not as glamorous as you would think it is.

Yeah, nobody thought it was glamorous.

Okay, it was— yeah, you're right. It felt like you were outside of the pyramids and people were like, come on, camel ride, camel ride right here. It's like, it's like that. Like, they're— everybody's like hassling you, pulling at you, grabbing your thigh, and like, like really, it's like all the girls are really attacking you.

I mean, that's what Ferris calls Thailand.

Thailand. Yeah, Ferris calls Thailand Thailand. Um, but yeah, so it's really intense. And then they bring you to a seat, they bring you into a club. There's more workers than there are people.

And it's not even like bring, it's like they drag you.

Yeah, they drag you into the club.

Really?

There's like—

yeah, so there's at least 30 girls standing outside each club.

I know they had rooms upstairs to go to. Yeah, yeah, they told me.

So the prostitutes were beautiful and very happy, right?

The prettiest girls ever, Jay. Oh good, 10 out of 10.

But they were really pretty girls, so it does get confused. I was also 19 beers deep at this time.

I think Jay had a different experience than the rest of us.

Natalie was trying to fucking make out with me on the tuk-tuk ride. After the ladyboy scene? After we left the district. We left kind of quick.

Yeah.

That's where they filmed The Hangover.

On that street? Yeah. I think that is the street. But yeah, it doesn't really—

Were you able to tell— I want to hear about Natalie, but were you able to tell the difference between a ladyboy and a—

I think Natalie's a girl.

Oh, good, good.

That's why I was asking.

I just said you want to hear about Natalie. Oh, do you want to hear from Natalie?

No, no, I was saying I want to hear how she tried to make out with you, but I was saying, oh, were you able to tell the difference between a ladyboy and a lady?

Um, no. Oh yeah, no, no, really? It's not like that, really. And I don't know if it's appropriate to ask.

What the fuck are you saying, dude? It's so, like, so clearly evident.

I don't think so, dude. I don't think so. Yes, I think you're like underestimating how—

Brother, you were fucking not on planet Earth, man. I could see clearly with my eyes who was a ladyboy and who was not.

Okay, let me ask you a question right now. The last two girls that we were dancing with that at the club. Ladyboys or not? No, surprise, surprise.

Deadass. I don't know, but no, they were not ladyboys, dude.

We have Zane Hajazi here.

Hi everyone, how are you doing?

A very rare moment. We also have Ilya here, but you can't— I mean, you can't see it because we don't do a video pod, but taking a photo right now. Yeah, he's passed out and the mic is laying on his chest, so if he does feel like he has anything to add He will add it.

He'll probably mumble it. He's like half asleep right now.

We're in Bangkok. Bangkok, best city in the world. What do you think about Bangkok? There you go.

Good.

Um, so yeah, we're very drunk and it's almost late now. Has it moved up to our number 1 city? I think so.

I think number 2.

It's, it's in the top 3, 100%, no questions asked. Yeah, what they say about Bangkok is 100% true. Fucking, if you have the opportunity, you better fucking move here immediately.

Yeah, it's really like— I've made like special special moments, special friends, and special memories here for sure.

I mean, there was a moment we lost Zane for like a couple hours yesterday.

Yeah.

And he had the time of his life. He came back, you remember, he was just like, you guys should have come with me, I had the most Bangkok experience.

I really did, bro. We were in this room, it was like, I didn't even make sense.

At what point of the night did we lose you, like 4 or 5 in the morning?

I don't—

I, I had no recollection of time when I'm in the city. It's like everything is just like—

it was very hangover-esque.

Yeah, yeah.

That we lost Zane, it was actually beautiful. It was like, we don't know where Zane's going. And then we had a mutual friend that we just made in Bangkok. His name's Jai. Jai. And, and Jai called one of us and was like, yo, I'm with Zane, it's really late, should I keep like watching him? And I'm like, Jai, go to bed, it's fine.

Watching him? I, I thought I was doing great.

Well, he felt the need to take care of you, but I was like, no, like, Zane's a grown man, he can do it like himself, don't worry. Zane is also like when you see him drunk, you're like, is he there? But he's fully in control.

I'm a mean machine.

Yes, he's a mean— he's so good at being drunk. Yeah, where you don't have to— it looks like you should be worried about him, but he can fully get back.

Yeah, I'm really good, dude. It's crazy because it looks like I'm on the verge of puking every time, and I always look like the verge of passing out, puking, starting a fight, and I just don't do any of those. I'm the perfect drunk.

Wait, wait, people get scared of me. I don't know why. Wait, that is a good question to ask you. Okay, so my first night here in Bangkok— did we talk about this, Jay? Yeah, how brutal it was. Yeah, like I was vomiting for like 7, 8 hours.

Like, yeah, what happened?

Why?

I can't do what you do. I don't have the professionalism.

It's because you drink beer the whole night. You're not supposed to drink.

Zane, if I had tequila, I'm telling you, it would be 10 times worse.

Yeah, but the thing is, tequila, tequila helps you not drink as much. Yeah, beer, you have to drink a lot of it.

Do you take more shots than I— than I have beers?

I'm a fucking tank. I'm a— I, I know how much I need to drink. But if you drink like a shot or two, you need to drink beer. Like, you're good.

Like, you're like, oh, I need something in my hand.

If it's not, just hold my cock.

Oh my God. But if it's not, if it's not in my, if it's not in my hand, I feel like I'm not like participating. And then if I don't have a beer in my hand, I feel like people can throw shots at me more often. And then I'm, and I'm fucked.

That makes sense.

4, 5, 6 shots. But have you ever had a moment where you're like, have you blacked out? I have.

I've had my blackout moments for sure.

Thrown up?

No, no, I, I, I, I have thrown up, but I haven't thrown up in a long time.

Really?

You don't throw up?

Not anymore.

That's impressive.

I just don't.

I—

because I, I, I know it doesn't seem like I know my limits, but I do know my limits.

How many— how much alcohol did you have yesterday in terms of shots?

You know, I do love talking about this because I feel like I'm very knowledgeable of this. Uh, so you are.

You're definitely—

it's like, take a guess.

We have a pro on the show here today.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

No, no, I'm like, alcohol is uncomfortable.

Maybe this morning he goes, he goes, he goes, I don't know, you guys saw it, maybe you guys left me. He goes, there was all these backflips, man. Everyone was doing backflips.

He kept describing after we left that everyone was doing backflips and everybody was also sucking both— like, they were blowing in shit from balloons. I think it's some sort of drug, I'm not sure, but you know, it was flipping.

That's— that was my least favorite part about like being like when we were 18, 19, 20. Yeah, like the one drug that I feel like we were on the most was Whippets.

Why did people do that?

Was Whippets. Whippets was fucking crazy.

It's nitrous, right?

Nitrous.

Yeah, but it— dude, it looks like just crackhead shit. Like, it doesn't look good. It doesn't look like— it doesn't look—

and what does it do? Like, you basically suck in this nitrous.

I did it once.

That you put in like a CO2 tank.

Yeah, you get like a head high for maybe a few seconds, and then it squeezes your brain cells and it like kills part of your brain.

Yes. It's terrible. It's really, really bad for you. But people, when people talk about it, they describe it worse than almost any drug. Like, they really say, like, really fucks you up. So I don't know. Yeah, but a lot of people that I've seen on it, like, I did it. I feel like they're dumber a couple years after.

I, I did it once at a, a tailgating game, like a Grateful Dead concert. I took it, felt awesome, snap of a finger, was on the ground. Don't remember the—

but it only lasted— yeah, it only lasted like a minute.

Yeah.

Regardless. Okay, so that's what was going on.

Okay, so I'm not sure if it would—

the—

I don't— it was just balloons, it wasn't whippets.

Oh, you don't know what was through balloons?

But they were definitely inhaling shit because I was talking to my friend next to me and she was saying that they're doing something.

I forget what she said though, some kind of Bangkok magic air in the balloon.

How many drinks would you guess Zane would have?

I don't want— I don't want to over-guess. Okay, like, so the other night when we went out, you don't drink beer?

Um, no, I don't.

Okay, so I think you had like 15, 17 shots.

Yeah, which is— which sounds like a lot, right? But I think it depends on like— out here I was pounding shots and I woke up the next day feeling like I didn't drink as much as if I took 15 shots in LA. Yeah, in America that would kill me. 15 shots.

Oh, these people are partying with us.

Tian Zane was like, yo, all these people are fucking hammered. And he pointed to like a 40-year-old woman pouring the drink and he's like, she has no idea what she's doing right now.

This, this lady was taking like shots with me.

I was like, yes. Yeah, they don't.

Yeah, I, I think they, they just know that we're like visiting here and they just want to give the time of our life. But like, they're also like, I think they're just, they're encouraged to drink with us.

Yeah.

So we were like, oh, what a fun night.

Wow.

Even the security guard that Zane kept going up to, the same security guard and dancing with him, and the security guard was incredible spirits.

Yeah.

Like, that's the thing about being in a different country is like, first of all, here in Bangkok, or in Thailand more specifically, but like when we Instagram Story or whatever, they love the camera. Camera. Like, everybody here, like, nobody— like, in LA, people hide from a flash. Yeah, the second a flash goes on. But people here, it almost feels like this— and this sounds bad, but it feels like people are doing it for the camera, but not in a weird way. They just, they love capturing things, and like, everybody's down to like be in a story or participate in something.

Like, I think that's most Asian countries.

I'm—

even in Japan, every time I put my camera— pulled my camera out, they were waving. Like, they, they love the video camera, and they love being filmed.

Everybody's really welcoming to it. And I— and that was like— like, there was a moment, like, I was doing like a story or something, and this like security guard came over to Zayn. Like, I think it wasn't even— didn't have to do with it. She was like moving a chair or something, and Zayn started dancing with her, and she fucking loved it. And she stayed like dancing.

She stood there and she knew that—

she knew that we were filming it, and she stopped when the flash turned off, and then she gave us a smile and a thumbs up.

Like, but she knew, like, comedically she stood there knowing that it would be funny for her to just stand there and not do anything and let me dance on her. It was— it was It was really crazy. Like, I saw her, I'm looking at her face, and I'm like, oh, she knows what she's doing. It's funny that you thought it was crazy.

Yeah, yeah.

So that's part of like tourist culture, right?

Yeah, but it's not—

it was—

but it's not like that. Like, you come to hospitality— yeah, but you come to LA and people fucking give you the cold shoulder. Like, LA—

like, you can never pull that shit in LA.

It's, it's really sad. Like, when people ask me about LA, like, when I'm in this country or like in any other country that I'm traveling, it's really sad that I can't back it up. Like, being in a foreign country, there's no comparable hospitality in Los Angeles than there is in a foreign country. That's what sucks, because people are excited to hear about LA. Yeah, but like, I can't comp— it's very hard to compare anything when traveling because people are nicer here. Like, everybody's down to just like hang out. And I can't— it is—

it's Asian countries. Like, guys, we're in this hotel right now, and we will go out to the restaurant here, and it's every 5 seconds they come up. It'll be a staff of 3, they come to the table, and they continue to ask, are we doing okay? Are we doing okay? Yeah, it's, it's like the hospitality is insane. They just, it's, I think that's our top, top priority.

I just, I'm sorry, I just had to move the mic away from Ilya's mouth because he started snoring. Are you back awake?

Yeah, I'm here.

Okay, he's back. I, I will say we've talked, we've talked about, we've talked. Ilya, are you drunk?

You missed the first 11 minutes.

Is he drunk?

Yes, he's drunk.

I didn't see him drink a lot.

He He hadn't eaten, he had a couple beers, and I think he's like, really hungry.

Where the fuck is the food?

It's coming, it's coming. Just lean back.

Go back down for a little bit.

Lean back, go back, go back.

We'll wake you, we'll wake you.

Um, back to the hospital, back to, back to why this hotel is so nice. So you know how earlier I told you how— oh, Zane, did you know this?

What?

My— there was my blanket. I brought a blanket from home, and they left a note on my bed saying, we noticed two of your buttons were broken on your blanket, so we fixed them.

Shut the fuck up.

They sewed in the blanket.

Your buttons on your blanket from home.

They put brand new buttons on my blanket. And this is going to be a stretch, but I think this is what has been happening. I have this tube of, um, toothpaste I've been using. This may sound like a stretch, but I think this hotel's been doing this to me. And every time I use it back home, it is on its last fucking leg. It takes— it's one of those toothpaste moments where when I push it out, I can't use both hands and put it on my toothbrush at the same time.

Yeah, that's confusing.

But when I'm here It is like— it's like they press it up for you when you're not in the room. Because when I come back to the toothpaste—

there's no way, I swear to God.

Okay, but what do you say?

I touch the toothpaste and it comes up perfectly, like it's full. And I know it's been almost empty since Los Angeles. Yeah, but I think they're pre-prepping my toothpaste. I'm not kidding you.

Wow.

What do you mean when I'm here? You're saying I'm here like you come here all the time to Thailand?

Like, no, like just now I've this bottle of toothpaste that I've been fucking with for the last 2 weeks, and since I've come here, every single day I push it, it takes a pinky push for the toothpaste to come out. I genuinely think they're doing some shit to my toothpaste.

You think they're like filling it up with more toothpaste?

No, but I think they come and I think they roll it out for me, so when I push it, it takes—

Oh, there is— there are some hotels that do that. I've had that done before. Yeah, I've never heard of that, where they just like roll it's more like they like clean, like they want this thing to be clean, so they'll do everything. It's almost like if I had a clipper on my, like, um, on my trimmer, yeah, they would just pull it off and just like set it nicely just so it's, you know.

People here in like Asian countries have like a very specific way of dancing. It's very like— I don't know how to do the moves, but it's like very like K-poppy.

Yeah, it's like arm out, arm up, arm out, arm to the side.

Yeah, and it is hypnotic to watch. Like, it's like there was this girl doing like a dance on like, on like the stage, and she was doing the arm out, arm in, like twisting her wrist. Yeah. And I told Ferris, our friend who we were with, I was like, if you put me in a chair, I could— I'm not kidding— I would watch this for 6 hours and not look away. It is so hypnotic to watch. But yes, I do like—

I do like dancing.

Yeah. But I like— yeah, I like South America because it's, it's the best to dance, and you can— you don't, you don't do that in the US. You'll get lucky with one party once a month where people dance. I'm also guilty of that. Like, it's harder to dance in LA. Everyone in LA will complain about people not dancing even though they are part of the problem, and I am also that problem.

Um, but remember we went to the mall here and it was packed? And if you go to the mall in LA—

yeah, that too.

Like, crazy.

And it's not just one mall, it's like there's like 7 malls here.

Yeah.

And they're built like, like galactic spaceships. Like, there's 7 stories, every store Every store is like—

every store that we have back home.

Yeah, but it's like pretty much to the extreme, like 10th. Yeah, of like everything looks so sharp and incredible. Um, yeah, no, no, and people love the mall. It's flooded, flooded with— it's like, it's like what malls used to be like in like 2005 in the US. Yeah, I don't know, it also could be the fucking heat here. It's like nobody wants to be outside.

The traffic's bad.

Traffic is the worst.

I will say Bangkok That really took my, uh, that ruined my time here a little bit because every time we get going and we think this is like, okay, we're finally going, and then we'd sit in the car for an hour.

People are really, really, really, really fucking out. Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, streets are packed. I recommend putting Bangkok on your list of places to go. I expected a 10 and I got a 10. Very, very happy. And, um, I think the next pod is going to be a little tricky for us.

Yeah, because we're gonna have to do it right now.

No, we're not doing it right now. Jay wants— it's right now. It's—

are you dead?

Yeah, I'm pretty dead. Here's the situation, guys. What time is it?

It's 12.

It's midnight here. Jay has a flight at 5 in the morning. I have a flight at 7 in the morning. Jay's going back home. I'm going to Ibiza, which sounds fucking insane. So I get on a flight to Spain tomorrow at 7, and I told Jay, I was like, take the next pod off.

There's no way you're gonna do the pod.

I'll do it. I'll do it.

I don't believe you.

I'll do it with Nat and Ilya, and, and if Zane wants to do it, I'll do it with Zane too.

I don't think you'll do it.

No, next pod is gonna be Jason Free.

We have 3 ads.

I fucking hate reading ads, dude. I hate it.

I know, I know you hate making money, and I know you hate putting my kids through school, but here we are.

Okay, fine, I'll read the ads. I promise I'll read the ads. I have to go to bed.

You poor guy.

You, um, you have to read one for today. I'll cut that out. Just say goodbye.

Um, no, you don't have to cut it out. Okay, okay. Um, all right guys, well, so next pod, if you don't hear Jason's voice Yeah, sorry if we're tired, guys.

I don't know what to say. Dave's fucking got us running around the world.

No, no, no, no. Um, next pod, if you don't hear Jason's voice, I'm dead. That's my fault. He died. Yeah, so I'm sorry about that. Um, but we'll see you guys, or I'll see you guys on Thursday in 2 days.

Uh, bye.