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Surprising Natalie With Halsey
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What's up guys, welcome back to Views, the podcast where Jason and I— this is our last podcast that won't be on video.
That's right.
If you imagine what Jason looks like, you haven't seen me yet. If you haven't seen, this is your last day you'll probably ever listen to the podcast because when it's—
you are forewarned, everybody out there, I'm going to be on video now. So if you can't handle it because I'm too grotesque, maybe don't watch the video.
And don't worry, Jason can't wear any shorts during the podcast recording, so there will be no testicle slips. We have made that very clear. Let's start this fucking podcast. It's our Last Audio Only, baby. Roll the intro music. A lot has changed since we last talked.
I talked to you like 5 minutes ago.
Yeah, well, I haven't told you this news. Did you see that Tesla invested 1 point— let me get my numbers right— $1.5 billion into Bitcoin?
Oh yeah, I saw it. Bitcoin went up to $47,000.
$1.5 billion went up that much.
Yeah, well, I didn't know you followed it that much. Jesus.
Well, it went up $47,000.
No, no, no, it went up to $47,000. It went up to $247,000. Yeah, no, it's fucking insane. I was watching, there's like, now obviously like cryptocurrency in general is just fucking trending right now. Like everybody's talking about Dogecoin, Ethereum, Bitcoin. I was watching this guy, his name is Ryan Serhan. He's a, he's like a, like a real estate guy. And it was like, he was on this show and on the show someone offered him $50,000 Bitcoin Bitcoin to buy a $13 million house. And this was a little bit ago, so he kind of like, you know, laughed that off. He's like, 50,000 Bitcoin? I'm not gonna— I'm not gonna let you buy the house for that much. Now that Bitcoin, 50,000 Bitcoin, is worth $1.8 billion. Oh my God, $1.8 billion! And that's how much the guy was gonna offer for the house, for a $13 million house.
Yeah, but at the time it probably was—
I know, but it's just like crazy.
Do you know anyone that's ever used Bitcoin or purchased anything?
The only one I know is that guy who bought like 2 pizzas with like 1,000 Bitcoin and now it's like worth like— apparently there's a guy who also— I thought this was a joke until I read up on it. There's a guy who lost his password and has like a couple hundred million in Bitcoin and you can't get into your thing if you don't have your password. Like there's no way around the security things if you don't know your security answers.
That's it.
That's it.
There's no email verification you can do or—
no, the money's gone.
That's it. But that's fucking nuts.
It's not as easy. It's not like, can you, can you point out all the trains in these pictures? Or can you point to the red lights in these pictures? Surprisingly, $100 million is more secure than that. I just moved into a new house. And by just, I mean about 7 months ago, but we've been keeping it a secret. It was really difficult. We had to change a lot of the podcast stories that we had happened in the new house. And like, like a lot, we cut out a story because I was like, yeah, Nelly was upstairs. And like, we, I don't have an upstairs in my old house. So we just had to fucking lose the story because we I couldn't cut around the fact that she was not upstairs. But yeah, I just moved into my new house. I purchased it like 6 or 7 months ago.
What's your favorite thing about the new house?
The water fountain. I have a water fountain and it's like a school water fountain, but it shoots out—
It is not your favorite thing about the house, it can't be.
Okay, it shoots out fruit punch. That's like a big thing. It's a fruit punch water fountain. It's like something you'd find at a high school. It's fucking amazing. What I also love about this house is I really didn't get to show this on my house tour yet, but I have a bed. My friend Kourtney Kardashian has a ginormous bed and it's not a California King. It's, it's like a custom size bed. And I got her measurements and I exceeded those measurements. And now I have a bigger bed than Kourtney Kardashian. And I've been trying— this has been my like serious goal and it is now sitting in my room. It's so fucking big. How— what are the dimensions or who ordered the bed?
It's like 12 feet by 12 feet or something. It's like an emperor size bed.
It's called an emperor bed. 12 feet by 12 feet. Like fucking go in like I went in my, in my current, in my old room at my old house and I measured it. It doesn't even fit in my room. That's how big it is. And yeah, I slept on it for the first like 2 nights, like officially. And it doesn't feel good. It wasn't a good idea because it's like, I laid on it.
It was great. It's so comfortable.
Yeah. But like the problem with it is I'm going to sound like an idiot, but like it's so big that you feel like you're just sleeping on the floor. Cause like you're, you're no longer, there's no longer the illusion of like being on a bed and being on a raised platform. It's just, feels like one big bed.
And I know I'm like, well, your bed is low to the ground, maybe that's the problem.
But not only that, but like, let's say I want to get water, I have to— this is like, like the stupidest thing. This is like first world problems. Like when I have to get water, I got the bed because I thought it was very, very, very first world. Yeah, I got the bed because I thought it was funny. And like, I, I love people's reactions when they see it. And like, I wanted a bigger bed than Courtney just to say I have a bigger bed than Courtney. No other reason. I don't think it's a practical bed at all. It's actually so inconvenient, um, but it's so worth the joke. Um, so I'll never, I'll never replace it, but it's like when I have to get water, like, for my bedside table, it's not like— it's not a turn away.
It's like you gotta—
it's two full 360s on the bed.
Yes, I had to get up today.
It's brutal.
Come around the other side where Joe was editing. Yeah, it felt like it took me like 3 minutes.
Yeah, I had Jason come on the other side of us, and, and he literally had to walk off one side of the bed and walk around, and it was—
well, like everything you don't like, just give it to Jonah.
No, no, no, I, I, I do love— I'm just complaining about it because I think it's funny to complain about a bed that's too big, but it's I mean, it's fucking— it's the funnest, funnest, the most fun thing.
Maybe we should get somebody in there. Oh, it'll be fun.
Yeah, girlfriend.
A girlfriend. Yeah, when you, you know, when you meet that special someone.
Do you think it's gonna happen with this new house?
If it doesn't, then you're a fucking lost cause. It better happen.
That's not why I got this house, to find love.
Really? Because I thought you got it to impress Natalie, you said yesterday.
Yeah, but that, that was, that was partially a joke because I know she's not in, you know, she's not— she's in a relationship, obviously, and Todd's so cool.
Why are you getting so defensive?
That's just the coolest guy. Never want to do anything. Now, would you want to go out with me?
Who's your favorite person to see in the house? Like, I have my favorite person that I saw here.
Who'd you see?
I saw Jack, our manager here. Yeah, it makes me fucking laugh.
I love seeing Jack because usually you're harried and like completely stressed out. Yeah.
And not enjoying how nice the house is. And Jack just rolls in, he's like, my man, want to play pool? He's like, Jason, we're moving up in the world.
Yeah, bro. Jack's so fucking lucky. We're lucky to be able to do what we do, but our manager is so much more luckier that he found us.
Yes, but he's— he is— I really do love having a great manager.
I haven't dropped him. Have you ever thought about dropping Jack?
No. Oh no, I haven't.
Definitely been moments for me. I'm gonna get a phone call tomorrow. There's definitely been moments, but like, and you can't fucking yell at the dude because you'll be like, yo, like Like now I'm getting like better brand deals, but like before I wasn't getting any for like quite some time now. Remember that? It was like, it was like 3, 4 months where like everybody around me was getting so many brand deals and we were getting nothing. And I was like, Jack, yo, what the fuck are you doing in your office, bro? Like, I was just like, you gotta, you gotta fucking send me some brand deals. And like Natalie talked to him and then every time, every time you like try to like yell at him or be stern with him, he literally just goes, my man, you know, he goes, you know, I'm working on it.
So like Jack just texted me the minute we sat down and, um, and it said, I, cause we had a good day here today because David posted and it went well.
Yeah, yeah.
And, uh, and Jack said— he said, I asked David if I could have a hug and he said fuck no. No, I was—
he literally did.
I was walking upstairs and Jack goes, yo, come here, give me a hug. I was— I— yeah, I turned on the stairs, I was like, are you fucking crazy?
So you, you had a nice day today, things went well for you, posted a video, and then he came over.
Well, hold on, it was stressful as shit. We, we uploaded the vlog and like the only thing I ever do really anything in my life is to make a fun video and like I bought this place because I thought it would make a really fun video. And I was like, for the last 7 months, I was like thinking about like what cool things we can put in this house tour and make it fun. And then, yeah, I put a song on the montage and the song got copyrighted to where the copyright owners didn't allow the video to play in the United States.
I called you this morning, which is 60% of my audience. This morning I said that to you.
I know. So I fucked up. So we have to pull the video down within the first 5 minutes and then we have to edit a new song. That I don't think fit as well as the initial one, but whatever, it worked. So that was stressful. But yeah, the video's up, people enjoy it. People are excited about the podcast video.
I'm so—
Yeah, we're in the studio right now.
Yeah, baby.
I'm fucking stoked on that. But yeah, a little bit more about this place. I first saw the new house like a year and a half ago. It was being built. I brought Carly and Aaron here. You came here too. You saw this house when it was being built. It was just fucking dirt. Like it was dirt and a pool and like it was just like, they were like, if you wanna put an offer now, like whatever. And I was like, I didn't even think about it looking at like 40 places. Like, we were looking at so many different homes. Yeah. And then we came back like 7 months later. Yeah, the house was finished, and I fucking had no idea that it was that same house because we've seen so many houses. And, um, yeah, Natalie, what happened then?
And this is where I was gonna chime in, and David was like, no, Natalie, this is not the good place. I was like, David, this is the one thing you asked for was having our other— our old house on crack, and that's exactly what this is. It's like the same wood furnishing, same white, same style, beautiful view. All these things. And he was like, no, man, are you crazy? Like, that is not it. I did not get that vibe at all. I was like, David, this is the one. And then we went back and it started to grow on him.
Uh, what?
You're wrong a lot.
What do you mean?
Because in my mind, when you talk to me, I always have like, I have a switch. It's like, well, David's right, he's more successful than me. So I usually just deter to you or defer to you. I don't think that— you're wrong a lot. You're fucking wrong.
No, no, listen, my house is, is, is so— no, I love this house now. It's grown on me. But like, But like, I needed convincing at first. Like, I really needed— and what was our initial budget when we were looking for houses?
Like 4 or 5, 4 to 5 million.
That was our budget. And then we fucking— we saw this house and our real estate agent, our real estate agent goes, they're probably gonna want to sell. Like, I'll be honest with you, they're probably gonna want to sell for 5 to 6 million. And I was like, oh my fuck. I was like, I got, I got so, I got so fucking frustrated. I was like, I can't, I can't do it, I can't do it. And then the offer came back, we're like, fuck it, we're gonna put in an offer for $5 million, and then the offer came back and they're like, sorry, we can't do it for that. And then my real estate agent's like, I think they want $6. And I was like, okay. And then they said, we offered them $6 million and they said no to that. And then we offered them $7 million and they said no to that. And then like a week later we saw this house listed for $12 million on Zillow. It was listed for $12 million. And I was just fucking freaking out. I was like, fuck, that's my fuck. I was so invested in this house now. Like, I spent like a month and a half like obsessing over this. I was like, fuck, someone's gonna take it. It's $12 million. And I told my real estate agent, I was like, what do they want? And he's like, dude, I'm telling you, they'll take it for $9 million. And I was like, oh my fuck. So I go to him and I go, deadass, I am not going over $9 million. That's it. And I don't think he understood what deadass meant. I was like, when I say deadass, that means I cannot spend any more money on it. Like, that is it, $9 million. And he comes back and he's like, dude, they really want 12, but he told me, he told me if you sign right now, he'll sell for 9.5. So then, that's when I hit up, Jason, you're looking at me like this is the first time I'm telling you the story.
I forgot a lot of that.
And then I tell Jason.
Well, you're telling it in a good way.
And then I'm like, I can't spend any more money, already deadass, but 9.5 is fucking awfully close, like I'm almost there. So I asked Ilya, Joe, and Jason, to split the remainder of the money, so they paid for the rest of the house. So now Jason, Joe, and Ilya, like, they just met with a lawyer today to finish it all up. They own part of the house because I refused, because I said the word deadass and I cannot break that word. So now they pitched in.
And the lawyer is baffled.
Wait, what did the lawyer say? Oh, you actually did talk to him.
I haven't talked to him, but I heard through Ilya that he is baffled as to why we wanna do this. It is the dumbest thing. For someone to do. Just give someone money towards a house and not—
it doesn't really make much sense.
But it's good for jokes. I mean, it's good for me to be able to say, hey Dave, I'm bringing my kids, are coming over, use my backyard.
Yeah, like I own part of the house. Yeah, it's so funny. Like, like Joe has already claimed like one corner to the house is 100% his.
Which corner did he claim?
Right under the stairs. So he can store anything, anything he wants.
Harry Potter closet.
Anything he wants. Yeah, under the stairs he can store, which is This is great.
How did you go from $4 to $5 million to $9.5 million?
I don't think we understood.
What happened? Like, where'd you find the other 5?
Um, I think we just are, we're just taking advantage of a lot here.
I'd like to talk to the listeners right now. That's good that David bought such an expensive house, which means he has to podcast, which means we're going to have good video podcasts.
What I was worried about the most is I just didn't want to let go of my old house. And now thankfully Jason and Jeff are taking over the rent on my old house.
Yes. And they're going to sponsor.
Yeah. And they're going to turn it into like a studio and they're just going to be filming videos out of there, which is fucking sick. So I still get to keep my old house. I'm a landlord now.
Don't come to either house.
But yeah. Oh yeah, definitely don't come visit either houses. But, but yeah, I think that's really sick. And the other part I was worried about, I was like, this is so much money I just spent on this house. But the guy who sold it to me, the guy who built this house, he came over like a week ago and he goes, oh, a week after we closed with you on the house, I got an offer for $11 million in cash. On the house. And he goes, if you ever want to sell this, if you want to sell this today, I'll make you at least $1 million, I guarantee it. Which is pretty fucking sick. So I'm pretty stoked about that.
They must have been kicking themselves.
They also made a lot of good upgrades to this house, so it's already worth way more.
Oh, speaking of kicking themselves, the fucking craziest thing is, I did not know this, when you build, when you buy a new build, like I did, this is a brand new house, no one's stepped foot in it, when you buy a new house, they have to fix everything about the house for the next 5 fucking years. They sold it to me. They're not my— I'm not renting. They sold me the house, but they're like, if the chairs or if the stairs start chipping or like the lights go out because of whatever they did, or like the doors aren't working, they have to come and fix that. And that's fucking insane. That's so— I'd never build a fucking house. That's like what got— that's what got me to buy the house because my real estate agent was like, yo, anything breaks, they got it for 5 years. I was like, that sounds so fucked up. But, uh, I'm down. Sign me up.
Damn, it's crazy. When I came in here tonight for the third time today, I, um, I got pretty emotional.
You actually got emotional?
Yeah, I did. It just got emotional to like to come and to come and do this, like, because we stopped for so long.
My favorite part was editing the house tour video and like just like putting it together. It felt like a puzzle. And like, I loved like being under that stress and like trying to figure it out and like screaming. Like I was screaming, I was yelling. I was like, I have—
when you lost the song, I threw a bunch of stuff. Yeah, some pillows at the Beatles picture you have.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, I did.
Which was ironic because they were throwing pillows at each other.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. When I lost— yeah, when I lost the song earlier because it was copyrighted, I fucking screamed. And I, and I, I felt like— I, I mean, I was really pissed because I love that song for that part of the montage. And I remember, um, the housekeepers walking into the room with like all the clothes in the hamper. And I remember just looking at her, she looked terrified. I felt so bad because I— because all I— all you heard me go was fuck.
Literally echoing throughout the whole house. You could just hear fuck.
Yeah, it was like really— it was, it was one like that. It was one really loud fucking hate this.
I'm gonna fucking vomit. I'm gonna fucking vomit. And then you're like, if this, if this gets covered, I'm gonna fucking Break my laptop, I'm done. You're so mad.
Yeah, I was pissed. I fucking hate the guy. I don't get the copyright bullshit, bro. If you're gonna copy— like, like, my goal when I post videos is to get copyrighted and they take all my money, right? Fucking do that. Don't take my video down. Like, why are you taking my video down? Like, it's, it's just beneficial for the both of us.
We're trying to protect their—
yeah, but like, but take my money. Just take my money. Why do you have to— why do you have to—
well, think about it. If someone took one of your videos and was like, here, take my money, You'd be like, maybe not necessarily. You want their money.
Oh, I guess, right? I could see like an artist like pulling the songs off like Nazi propaganda or like a video that's like fucking like fucked up. Like I could see that, right? But like pulling their songs off every video in all of existence, I just, I can't wrap my head around because they have the option of monetizing it. Like you'll just make money and more people will hear your music. I feel like it, that sounds like a win-win to me. Maybe I'm missing something completely.
It's really hard to be in this house and go back to any other house.
Really?
Yeah. Like, when you call me and tell me to come over, I get so excited to come here. I'm like, I'm like, oh my god, like, it's like, it's so fun. And it's— the human condition is so funny because like once you get used to this, then you're like, oh fuck. Like, I'm sure when I go to your old place where I'm building the studio, I'm gonna be like, oh, this fucking place sucks. And that place is really nice.
I love that place.
Ilya said that today. Ilya was like, he's like, dude, he's like, I can't even be there anymore. This place is so nice.
You give Philia, the most hardcore Chicago accent I've ever heard. Like he's, like he's a fucking fireman.
Yeah, yeah, that's, that's on purpose. It's by design.
No, but yeah, yeah, no, this house is great. There's so many activities. I remember I, I met the neighbors. I met the neighbors like really early on. I met them. I was so worried cuz I was like, dude, they fucking— like when we first bought the house, an article popped up that I bought the house even though we, we made everybody sign NDAs. Everybody was on a non-disclosure agreement.
You didn't even buy it under your name.
We bought it under some random thing like some shit.
No, no, don't Don't say that.
Oh, is that actually what we bought under?
We bought it under a trust.
No wonder you're so successful.
Regardless, we bought it under like—
you're an open book.
Regardless, we bought it under some trust. And yeah, and, uh, whatever I was saying, I was scared to meet the neighbors because there was an article posted like YouTuber David Dobrik buys house. Yeah, in this area. And I just— fucking, I knew it. I knew like what a bad look that is, a YouTuber moving into the neighborhood. Like everybody was really scared. And my neighbor came up to me, um, that lives right under me, and he's He's like this Russian guy. And yeah, he was like, we were worried a little bit. And then we watched your videos and we're really happy. And his daughter was a fan. I was like, oh my God, thank the fucking Lord.
Yeah.
Like, I really got off scot-free. And he was just like— and I was like, you don't have to worry about us. I don't think I'm throwing any parties anytime, anytime soon. And, and which is true. Like, I just really don't care for parties. And he goes, come on, dude. You're 24 years old, you have a house like this, and you're telling me you're not gonna party? Dude, I was, I was a kid like you. You gotta enjoy this. My fucking neighbor, I'm like, okay, do you want me to wreak havoc above you? But like, that was really cool. And like, bro, and are my other—
fuck, this is on fire.
He's like, yes, he's doing it, he's partying!
Finally, Marina, our house is in flames!
But the boy is having fun.
Can we come? They come up, they bring alcohol.
Yeah. Then the other neighbors, they had like, this was like 4 or 5 months ago, I don't remember, but they had, they like invited us over for like, you know, to just welcome us to the neighborhood. And they were so fucking incredibly sweet. And they were like this couple that were just like, we love just hanging out. Like, it was like, I thought I was there with Ella, right? Ella, you went with me. I told Ella, I was like, I even said this out loud in front of them. I was like, I feel like we're about to get murdered.
It was too perfect.
Yeah, the way they were talking to— like, we walked in. Oh my god, we walked in, it was like a beautiful home, and their daughter was having a piano lesson on this beautiful grand piano. And she like looked up and she got off her seat and she waved to us. She said hello, like she was really polite. And I was like, oh my god, like, we're like— this is some like shit where like the neighbors are pretending to be nice, but they're really like serial killers. I'm like, we're gonna get fucking murdered, I know it. But no, they're so sweet. And then they invited us, they're like like, we're going to Hawaii next week on the jet if you guys would like to come. There's extra 3 seats. And it's like fucking insanity. Like, these are, these are the neighbors. Like, I think that's so crazy.
They invited you to Hawaii?
Yeah, it's insane. I was so baffled.
Where did they invite us?
They were going to Mexico.
Oh, they were going to Mexico?
And then we were like, oh, well, David can't go international. And she's like, well, we also have a ranch in this other place. And we were like, and I was like, David, can I go? I was like, I want to go on a private jet with the neighbors.
Yeah, I mean, that's really cool. And then the rest The rest of the neighbors are all lawyers, which I don't know if that's a good thing or bad thing. I don't know if I'm gonna get sued.
Lawyers?
But no, but I think so far everybody— You're fine. Everybody fucking— the one thing that happens though that pisses me off, every time I drive up the street, I swear to God I'm going the speed limit, people give me the dirtiest fucking looks. I don't know what it is. I can't drive any fucking slower.
When you're older like I am and you see a young kid in a nice car—
You just get angry?
Yeah.
Even if he's doing 15 miles an hour. You're just like, fuck you. So don't take it personally.
That's what was stressing me out. I didn't get that. I got nominated for another Kids' Choice Award.
Oh, congratulations!
Congrats!
How much does that pay?
A lot of money. When you win, you win $800 million. I couldn't even make up a number.
What is this? Best social star? I can't keep up with you.
Favorite social star.
Male social star.
Do you vote online? Yeah, I'll get Wyatt and Charlie on it.
You don't get any. Thank you. You don't get any, you don't get any money for winning awards, which I always thought like if you won an Oscar, Emmys, they like cut you a check. Yeah. Well, wouldn't that make sense?
It does, but that's the, that's the scam of award shows.
Right. But it's just like crazy, like, like award shows have the biggest celebrities, right?
Mm-hmm.
They're the biggest people attached to it. Um, even more so than like a football team, like when it's like a regular, regular season game of the NFL.
Mm-hmm.
Like more people are watching the Oscars than a lot of things. It's crazy how the winner doesn't get like a $5 million check.
They're making so much money off that award show.
You get it when you, when you can put Academy Award winner like on the DVD, that that's where you get paid.
No, I talked about, I actually asked somebody about this. I was, I was on a shoot the other day and they were, they were friends with an Academy Award winner and we were just talking about him specifically. And I was like, did the person get more jobs after? And he's like, no, actually for the next year he got very little jobs because people thought he was too expensive. So he won the Academy Award, and then next year he was getting paid a lot. Like, next year no one would approach him for jobs because they just thought his rate was through the roof. Which is so— so I guess it's a double-edged sword.
I can see that too. Like, your next project, if you want to win the Academy Award, you're like, it's got to be great. Yeah, the next thing that you do.
That's what sucks about—
I can't do Paul Blart.
That's what sucks about acting over like anything, is like, is like you can You know, YouTube, you could make a video, it sucks, whatever, the next day you make another one. But like with fucking— with acting, it's like you make— you spend 4 months on a movie, it fucking tanks. Not only can you not make another one for maybe a couple months or a couple weeks, but you have to stay promoting that movie that tanked for the next 4 weeks because there's like a fucking PR schedule. So like your movie can be complete ass and you could know it, but you're in fucking Hong Kong talking to 30,000 people and you're going, this is the best movie ever, you better watch it. Like that's how fucking That's how crazy the movie industry is. Oh yeah, you didn't know?
No, I'm looking at the studio like I'm feeling— I'm sorry, I'm like a little like, I'm a little nostalgic today. This is just crazy to be here.
Speaking of the new house, is the last thing I'll say about this. Before we got security and before we moved in, this was like maybe like 4 or 5 months ago, this is a while ago, there was no furniture here. We were just like checking out, we were like checking out the house, this house, and we're like making sure everything works. We're doing the run-through, but I've already owned it for like a month.
We were like building stuff.
I think we're like putting the basketball court or something.
Yeah, we were building stuff and I was sitting on one of the only couches we had and a guy walks in straight into this house, the new house, walks right into the house with a bag of Chipotle and he looks me dead in the eye and he goes, oh my God, I'm so sorry, I didn't know you're gonna be at this house. That's what he said. Yeah, it makes no sense.
Yeah, like he's like, I wouldn't have come if I knew you're gonna be here, I don't want to disturb you.
It made no sense.
I didn't think it was like—
yet, what the fuck does that mean? Like if I was at— if I was at the old house, you'd come have dinner here? Like, in my backyard? Like, what the fuck does that mean? That was insane. And yeah, we were just like, get the fuck out of here. That was the craziest thing. Walked right in, like right into the living room.
I mean, you had to literally leave the old place. The police made you leave.
Well, they didn't make us, but they were like, they respectfully asked us. They were like, you should go. And we were like, yes, we'll leave. But yeah, now we're here.
I came home from your house the other day and Charlie was on my deck with her aerial hammock. She has an aerial hammock out there and there's like a really bad—
A what hammock?
An aerial hammock. Fuck, no one knows what this is.
Like an eno?
Is it every hammock in Arizona? A neato?
A kino? Eno? I don't know what an eno is.
You know what an eno is?
I feel like we're all from different countries.
Oh, like a pujji.
Yes, a pujji. No, it's like a silver thing and you hang from it. It has like cloth on it and you could do like Cirque du Soleil moves on it.
Oh, oh, like a circus thing.
Drop.
Oh, okay, so it's not a hammock.
It's not a hammock.
Well, it is like a rope. It's an aerial hammock. It's a hammock you can sit in.
Oh, yes, yes, yes.
You do aerial acrobatics. Acrobatics.
Yeah, acrobats, stuff like that. You're turning your children into clowns. You're going to make a circus, a runway circus show, just so they can feed the bill.
Wyatt doesn't need stilts.
Is this what you meant by he's going to be in a band? Bro, I could see you doing that with your family. Like, if Marnie wasn't around, I think it very well— if your ex-wife wasn't around to keep things in check, I think it would very well turn into this.
We definitely would have like busked by now, like gone down to the subway and like tried to sing as a family band. Marnie would never allow that.
Or just like doing jokes. Yeah, like you guys, like from like 2 to 3 you're doing stand-up comedy.
Yeah.
And then from 3 to 4 you're eating like a Subway sandwich and Wyatt's playing the violin.
Yeah, that would be like so ideal, but they don't want anything to do with me. But, but I came home because they're older now. I came home and there was a terrible smell of gas on the deck, like bad. And I got really scared because she was out there, and I was like, don't light a match, don't do anything, blah blah blah. So I called my neighbor Roger over, and he comes over. I'm like, Roger, I think there's a gas leak. And he comes over and he's like, he's like, definitely, definitely, you've got to call the gas company. You gotta, you gotta call the gas company. He's like, this is a hazard. So, okay, so I call the gas company, I wait 3 hours, the guy comes, and I go outside, it's gone, completely gone. He takes the reader, he reads the whole house, nothing, absolutely nothing. I'm like, we smelt it, you know? And he's like, well, there's nothing here now, I don't know what to say. And he left. And as soon as he left, Charlie was like, I farted out there. She was like, I was farting out there and she's like, you're fucking kidding. I'm not kidding. I'm not kidding.
I am not kidding. This is funny.
Literally Roger and I are out there just literally going, oh my God, do you smell it, Roger? And he's like, oh yeah.
You and your neighbor were sniffing your daughter's fart.
Yeah.
So funny.
No way.
How did you have time to go to his house, get Roger, and the fart still lingered?
It was still there. I don't know.
I, he came right over. How close were you to Charlie?
Also, does fart— like, poop farts smell the same as gas? Like, gas—
like, it, it smelled like gas.
Ew, poop fart. That is the grossest term I've ever heard. Or fart is already— what kind of poop farts do you have?
Well, no, Ella's right. There's poop farts and then there's natural gas.
I just made— I just meant like, I just— when I, I wanted to make sure I was saying gas in the sense of a poop, like a fart.
We never talk about farts on this show.
It's probably a good thing.
I also call farts poops. That's why it's confusing.
Stool was a nice word to say poop.
Yeah, stool sample.
I mean, I knew— I'm sorry, I knew about it, but like yesterday I really heard someone say— like, I heard it used in a commercial. They're like, they can find this in your stool. And I was like, that is so crazy that they find like a newer word to describe a more polite way of saying shit.
Not that new, hon.
I don't think it's pretty old.
It's crazy that we all poop. Wait, I know I do, but I can't imagine the four of you do.
I know we do.
You've never pooped?
Natalie takes the biggest shit.
I don't know why David is so fixated on the fact that I must take the most large and disgusting because, bro, we fucking shared a house and fucking Tony the Plumber would have to come every fucking week.
Hey David, I'm back again, huh?
You're the best customer I got living with Natalie. Tony the Plumber. Tony the Plumber? You really had a plumber named Tony the Plumber?
Yeah, it's fucking— I think he made it up. I know, I honestly— I, I, no, I think he— I think he has a fake name. I don't think Tony— I think it's just to remember it. Nat, am I right?
I mean, I think— what is it, an alias? Tony?
Oh, you think his name's actually Tony?
Why would he make that up? It's just—
come on, Tony the plumber. Well, I asked him once, and I think I was like, is Tony your real name? And he, and he like paused for a minute, and then he goes, come on, get the fuck out of here. And I was like, no, I'm being fucking serious. Like, it's because I don't think Tony's your fucking real name.
You got to find out.
Yeah, no, I just know Natalie.
Like, and what do you mean you just know Natalie?
I just know that the shit's for you, dog. I just know it was you.
You have a different pipeline that goes from your master bathroom in that house out to the street, and it was your pipeline that would get fucking clogged because you are the fucking shit monster.
I don't know.
Tony's Plumbing, this is Tony.
Is this David?
How you doing, David? What's going on?
How'd you know it was me, Tony?
Yeah, I got caller ID here. What happened? What's going on? You need me? Uh, fucking— Now they go to the buffet again? What's going on?
Did you get that Panda Express?
Yeah, okay, anyway, back to your daughter's fart. I genuinely do not think that it is possible.
I don't know, then why was there no gas reading?
I think that just happens.
Yeah, well, maybe regardless, I think you're—
if I'm being— if I'm Charlie in this situation, I think in about 3— I think your daughter's gonna remember this forever. Was she embarrassed when she told you?
No, we were dying laughing. Oh, it was like so funny.
Well, I think so.
Roger and Arthur sniffing it.
I think she'll remember this. She'll remember this for a while. Yeah. And I think in like 3, 4 years she'll be like, wait a minute, like there's no way that was my fart. Like that was like, like she maybe, yeah, like she probably revealed something.
She probably threw my fucking story down the toilet. Go ahead. That's fine.
Hey, no pun intended, bro.
Down the toilet, dude. That's why you're the best co-host.
That's pretty good.
Do you know how on the Super Bowl you can bet for random things? Like, you can have, like, not only can you bet on who wins, but you can bet on what the coin toss is gonna land on, or what color the Gatorade is gonna be in the sports team's drink. Like, it's like blue, purple, red, or green. And like, you can bet money on, and you can win seriously like a lot of money. One of the bets that's a really famous one is, will the national anthem be over or under 2 minutes? And this year, there was someone right outside of the stadium, and they timed it when they were rehearsing it, singing the national anthem. So all these sportsbooks had to take off that bet because the national anthem was over 2 minutes. And he timed it and he put it on TikTok and everyone saw.
Oh, wow.
So like they could have bet on it and they could have won. Which got me thinking, like, so like for all these years, because these bets have been happening for years, like all these years, all the workers that are working the pregame for the Super Bowl got to listen to the national anthem ahead of time and they could just—
just fucking make that bet.
They could have made that bet so easily. Like, that's fucking crazy that these guys were like— and like, the people that fill up the Gatorades, you know what I mean? Like, they can make the bet. Like, they know what fucking color Gatorade it's gonna be. And they're like, is everyone that works, like, behind— even the janitors at the Super Bowl making like millions of dollars off this thing because they're betting against it?
I thought the same thing.
Yeah, like, that sounds fucking crazy.
Person in there.
Yeah, but I don't know. The next year you should get a job as like a fucking pool boy or something, something easy for an NFL team. And then you tell me what color the Gatorade is and we fucking bring it on home.
Right on, man. We could make at least $1,500, something like that.
And another story similar to the Super Bowl betting story is there's this guy who was streaking the field, and this is just a story I saw, I don't know how accurate it is, but he got caught and his name was Yuri. He streaked this year. Did you see the video? He was like streaking like a pink like—
Oh no, 'cause I watched it on TV but they cut away. They don't show that on TV, you know? Right, yeah, so he's, you know, Yeah, so they don't want to give any attention to the streaker.
He got caught streaking and his bail was like $500. He was out the next day, but apparently he bet $50,000 on there being a streaker during the Super Bowl.
Oh my God.
So he won like $300,000.
What?
I mean, yeah, that's what I'm reading. I don't know how accurate this is, but like that's a thing you can bet on is will there be a streaker? And he just fucking did it. And he paid, this is what I, I like, listen, my source is 3 TikToks. I saw it in one TikTok and then I followed up with 2 others. And one of the posts was even, hey, I don't like to report on stuff like this. So it sounds pretty official to me. We were talking to like this really big actress. Natalie and I were talking to her and we were, we had to come up with, we were typing up a script to make like a, for like a funny TikTok that we were gonna do with her. And it's supposed to be just like, it's supposed to be jokey, but like the actress is like a really, really big big, really famous actress. And Natalie goes, Natalie goes, well, one of the lines is going to reference the infamous line from her show. And she says infamous. And after the call, she says on the call, because it's a very famous line from the show, and she says it's an infamous line.
I watched the show, by the way, like I'm also a fan.
Oh, she loves the show. But I got off the call and I was like, do you know what the word infamous means? And she's like, yeah, like very famous. I'm like, no, like Hitler's infamous. I didn't know. So it's just really funny, like, just hearing— I feel— and Ilya did that today too. Ilya was— we were in another meeting and he goes, he goes, he was talking about our pizza for Doughbrix and he's like, we want like our infamous pizza to be—
he heard Natalie using it.
I was like, fuck, you guys got it both wrong.
It's really funny.
Jason, Valentine's Day is coming up.
Oh my God, I didn't get you anything.
You, you're not supposed to. You're supposed to get it for somebody you're sexually attracted to. Like, I'm going to get Natalie a stuffed animal.
And oh, that's weird, cuz I'm in a relationship, David.
Doesn't mean I can't spoil you and shower you, Natalie.
You can still be nice.
Yeah, I'm going to send Todd a text tonight. I'm going to say, yo, fucking come on, don't forget about Valentine's Day.
I've been talking to Todd about Valentine's Day. I'm like, so like, what's happening? Cuz Last Valentine's Day is when he was—
what?
Natalie fucking annoyed me saying that.
Oh my God, because it is so much pressure.
Like, Natalie, get a life.
Like, I got married on Valentine's Day.
Todd released Natalina on Valentine's Day last year.
That's nice though, bro, to get married on Valentine's Day.
It was, it was great.
Because you get two birds with one stone. Kill two, yeah. And you'll never forget.
Kill two and then the marriage.
I mean, listen, if I'm shopping for shit, fucking, like, where do you go? Macy's, I think you just find everything.
Macy's is great. I took Irma to Macy's. My house cleaner.
What's a good place to go Valentine's Day shopping?
Macy's.
Dude, Macy's.
Macy's is great.
Bro, and it's not only because you can buy like clothes there, you can buy fucking anything there. The place is fucking— Natalie, send Todd to Macy's. I swear to God, it's gonna change his fucking life.
That'd be cute. Maybe he like picked me up like a little date night outfit.
What would you want? Not only about outfits, Nat, you get the fucking— you get wireless speakers, you can get barware.
That's true.
Why are you so passionate about Macy's all of a sudden?
Hey, hold on!
What's going on here?
Nothing!
Is this it? Let me see your phone. That's an ad read!
You motherfucker!
Are you taking all the cash?
No!
Did you sell something to Macy's? I mean, listen, don't get me wrong, Macy's is fucking incredible.
Dude, it's so good because you get 35 to 60% off now through February 14th. There's so many amazing diamonds, pendants, pens.
Say that again, 60% off?
30— yeah, it's 35 to 65% off. Oh, that's a lit deal, bro. Like, can I just go?
Macy's always has like really great sales.
I'm telling you, you fucking go— this one-stop shop, bro, for loved ones, for fucking not loved ones. You could buy— you can buy stuff for anybody there, literally.
I like going in there and buying stuff that's like too young for me to wear.
I like going in there and playing with the mannequins, wasting your money, like Diesel jeans.
And then my kids are like, you shouldn't wear those.
Yeah, Macy's is— I'm telling you, everything's— you know what the best part about it is though? That you can, you can try their lightning-fast same-day delivery powered by DoorDash, and it's available.
Macy's is on DoorDash?
Bro, I'm just— I don't kill the messenger.
That's actually pretty crazy.
No, it is pretty crazy. The whole thing is insane.
That's cool.
And there's a silver pendant now for only $29.99. There's limit 1 per customer while supplies last. I mean, I'm telling you, listen, it's all over at macy's.com/giftguide. You can find the perfect Valentine's Day gift this year. I want to give a shout out to us real quick. 'Cause like, we incorporated that brand deal really nicely. I think for a second we lost, you know, the FTC may even come after us. 'Cause I think at this point, I don't even think people would think we got paid for that one. But yeah, we fucking snuck that bitch in there. We got, we fucking, no hashtag ad, we made it part of our fucking life story.
Yeah, 'cause Macy's is that great.
I grew up with a girl named Macy, you know?
You did?
No, but I'll fucking, I'll go that far. That's how far I'll go to get my point across.
Did she have any under, Macy, this girl you grew up with, did she have any under $25 ideas?
Yeah, for under $25 Macy would say you can buy a lipstick set, a foot bath, cozy sweaters, vests and hoodies, wireless speakers, it's all fucking there, Jay. Listen, go to macy's.com/giftguide and you'll find the perfect Valentine's Day gifts, I swear. High Views Podcast listeners, real quick, I gotta fill you in on something. Natalie's not here right now, but we're about to surprise her with Halsey. I'm gonna do a bit where she's gonna close her eyes. This is for the podcast, and I'm gonna, and I'm gonna have Jason and Natalie close their eyes while Halsey sits right next to them, and I'm gonna ask some questions, and then I'm gonna have Halsey reveal herself, and I hope Natalie gets a little excited. Keep your eyes closed. Do not open. While your eyes are closed, I want to go around the room. Jason, what are your goals for this year?
Feed my kids and pay all my back taxes.
That's pretty good.
Yeah, I don't know.
Natalie, what do you have?
I I want to move into my new house and keep prospering my career. I don't know.
That's pretty good. Halsey, what about you?
I want to be in a David Culbertson video.
This is so crazy.
Oh my God. I was so nervous.
I know, I heard you. My baby's heartbeat was beating fast. I was outside and the baby's heart was beating. I was like, you're scared too?
Oh my God.
Wait, okay, now everything makes sense that happened today. That's why we got COVID, does it?
Yeah, yeah, yeah, the whole thing.
Oh my God, I'm such an idiot. I literally fall for that shit all the time.
Oh my God, I am shaking. I'm like literally—
I know, my heart is beating so fast right now.
Your part was easy. Hi.
Hi.
Okay, I'm so glad this is over.
You were outside and you were like, I'm so nervous, and I was like, why is he nervous?
Does he never do this?
Yeah, I was like, I just heard you being like, I'm so nervous, I'm so nervous. And I was like, why is he nervous? And I was like, oh yeah, me.
That's part—
I'm part of this.
Perfect.
Now I was like, no, I'm nervous.
Oh, yesterday we were in here, we were trying to not blow this, and Joe, Joe was like— Natalie, you were sitting right here. And Joe was like, okay, so when Halsey comes in and he, and he looks right at Natalie, and Natalie, you're still on your phone. And I just, I showed him my laptop, and on my laptop I typed out out. You're a fucking idiot.
Just like 5 minutes ago, I was singing all your songs right next to Natalie.
Yeah, that's what happens when you have like somebody come in, you start singing their stuff.
I do that with other musicians. Oh yeah, yeah, I come around them and I'm like singing their music. I'm like, that's not cool, don't do that.
Weird. We hung out with Benny once, Benny Blanco, and the entire car ride home, it was all we listened to in the car. We were just like, we know Benny Blanco, and now I'm probably gonna be on a Halsey kick for the next 2 months.
I hope so.
Lifelong Halsey kicks.
Yeah, real quick, how long have you been—
A very long time.
Really?
I'm so excited.
I'm surprised. I'm surprised she can communicate with you right now because the way she talks about you is insane.
You're totally blowing her cover.
I know, that's what I'm saying.
She's like, I'm really cool. You're like, she's like, has a shrine of you in her closet. I'm Oh, okay, cool.
Um, no, she— you have, you have some posters up. And I remember when you follow— I remember when you followed her back. She didn't know that you followed her back on Instagram. Oh my God. And I told her and it was the craziest reaction ever. It was like, shut the fuck up.
Well, I saw that you had reposted me on your story, so I was like freaking out about that already. I didn't even go to look at like the following thing. And David was like, she just followed you. And I was like, what the fuck?
She's actually here because she wants to, she wants to tell you something real quick.
Oh, I want to ask you something.
She has some news.
Well, I have to ask permission, I feel like, first. You're just offering her up.
You're right, right?
You're just assuming she's gonna say yes.
I already signed her off. She's good.
I need consent. I want to know if you'll be in a commercial I'm shooting this weekend.
Oh my god, of course!
I'm in a commercial again!
It's gonna be really funny. It's a really funny commercial. We're recreating the phone call from Mean Girls. Um, and it's you, me, Quinn, and Rico Nasty.
Oh yeah, okay.
It's gonna be really funny, and the whole point of the commercial is like me calling you guys to do the commercial, but I'm like ridiculous. So I'm like, do you know how to do a backflip by any chance? Like, and so like you're calling all the other girls like on the other line, you're like, hey Halsey's like really intense, did you already say yes to this? Like, can we back out? And then at the end you guys are We can't do it.
We'll definitely be there.
Yeah, yeah, we'll all be there. Jason shows up instead. I know this doesn't work as well.
Hey, listen, you can show up if you wear pink.
I'm down.
Okay, good.
Since you got Nally that gift, I wanted to get you something. I don't know what to get a celebrity baby, so we went to, uh, Tiffany Co. and we got this.
Oh my God, cute little bear!
Shut up!
Are you serious?
Yes! This is so cute! Oh, hell yeah. Okay, cool.
This is the first gift I've gotten.
Really?
Yeah.
Wow, that's worth something.
I don't have any friends.
Well, you can come by anytime. I'm sure Natalie— Yeah, hey. When you leave, Natalie's gonna scream.
Just do it now.
Natalie's gonna let out the biggest screech and she's gonna, the rest of the day she'll spend texting her friends.
I'm actually like, this is crazy. I haven't gotten a gift from anyone yet. This is my first gift I've ever gotten.
That's why we wanted you here.
I'm gonna tell the baby that. I'm gonna be like, the first gift you ever got was from David Dobrik.
And the baby will be like, who? The baby?
Yeah, baby be like, who's that?
Okay guys, Halsey has left. Natalie is back. She's decompressing from this moment. Now let's get real for a second here. Isn't that fucking crazy that like that you're in a Halsey commercial? Like, think about it, think about it.
No, I know, it's fucking crazy.
And it's not only insane cuz like you're in it, but like you're like, you're not like the front of the camera person, right? So like this is really random for that to happen.
Yeah, like you're just like, yeah, be more more believable if I got it.
Yeah, like if Jason got a Halsey commercial, like, that makes sense. But you, like, you initially, you came here to answer emails.
Like, I really didn't want the job, if I remember correctly.
Yeah, you, you did not want the job.
We had to talk you into it. I literally had to pull you aside.
And now you're in your fave— your fave— most favorite artist's fucking commercial. That's fucking insane.
I'm going to email Halsey and tell her all this.
I'm going to email Halsey. I will.
CC me.
Hey, you know, Natalie didn't actually want the job. You would have never known about her.
She's kind of a snob about it, actually.
I think it's fucking insane.
It's really, really crazy.
Well, we're happy. Thank you, Halsey, for coming on. Thank you for doing that. Please come over whenever you want. That'd be amazing.
I asked her off camera, I said, because in the East Side video there's a little story that goes along with it, and it says, you know, Ashley worked at the DMV.
Oh yeah.
So I didn't know if that was true or not, or if that was— they just put it in. So I asked her, I said, hey, did you work at the DMV? DMV. And she was like, oh yeah, she's like, I work there. I was like, what? Like, I can't believe we didn't ask her this, but like, can you imagine working at the DMV? Dude, how hard that must be.
That we gotta ask.
Hardest job ever.
Yeah, bro, we gotta ask her next time.
We should have her back.
Just, just, just for that question. Halsey on the DMV. That'll be the title of the video.
And we'll just have her for YouTube videos I love.
The second she's not talking about the DMV, we cut the show. Yeah, the second it goes into any other topic, we're done.
I mean, you know, when you go into the DMV, it's like everybody's pissed. Everybody is pissed.
The people working are pissed too. Oh, they're pissed.
Oh yeah, the people working are pissed. The older people, they're pissed.
They're—
the younger people are pissed.
It's—
forget it.
Yeah, it's the worst.
It's the worst. I don't know, but she, she had such a sunshiny—
oh my God, she's the best personality. She was so easy to talk to.
She was probably great.
Yeah.
Can't believe she picked Natalie over me.
I can't believe she picked me either.
All right guys, that's all the time we have for today's podcast. Thank you guys for listening. Guys, go check out the Views podcast, now available on video. If you listen to this podcast but you want to see the surprise with Halsey, you'll be able to see it on the Views podcast channel. It's youtube.com/views. Go check it out, and we'll see you guys later. My name is Jeff. Bye.