Surprised By My Favorite Musician!

What's up, guys? Welcome back to The View.

Are you doing the show with a blanket?

Yeah, this is the easiest way to do it, man. It's kind of tough sitting here. You guys get the warm couch and I get— and I get this seat.

Well, Natalie farts the entire time, so it is—

keeps it extra warm.

Really nice and warm.

You should hear her pee.

I heard. I saw.

I didn't put it in the vlog yet, but like, what happened in the next one? When Natalie pees, it's like—

where were you that you're hearing her pee?

We were in like a tent and the toilet was right next to us and there wasn't there's just one wall that would separate it and there's no ceiling.

Yeah.

So I could hear Natalie pee next to me and it wasn't like, like a guy's pee. It was like, it was like she cut the top of a water bottle off and then poured it all in. Like, it was like that. That shit came out, I would say about 130, 150 miles per hour. I wish I could have like one of those guns pointing at it to see how fast it came out.

Like a Tide.

It was insane.

Like Santa Monica Beach.

I was scared that the alarms were going to go off because I was scared the South Africans were going to go on and on for 20 minutes.

Can we keep in mind that I'm in a tight—

Oh, Natalie's here. Most of our conversations in South Africa were about, about sex and about masturbating. Yeah, that's all we would talk about on camera. No, no, just the bus rides. The bus rides would always get— we'd always have a new driver and he was like some South African guy. And it was always— the conversation was like, I'm not kidding, this is all off camera and it was just us talking. It was like, yo, how much to fuck a zebra? Would it be a million or like $2 million? And Jonah would be like, fuck that, I'm not fucking a zebra. And then we'd get mad at Jonah for not fucking a zebra for $2 million. We'd be like, why wouldn't you do it for $2 mil? Um, and then our drivers would always be like, what is going on?

Yeah, you would see them peek in the rearview mirror like, it was really funny. I'm glad I stayed home.

Um, no, but Africa was fun. Yeah, the one problem we had was we did stay at like basically a campsite, which was the first thing we did. Well, let's take it back a little. We drove in, um, we, we landed in Johannesburg, and I always say, I always say that fucking wrong. Am I saying it right? Johannesburg?

Yeah.

Yeah, well, we landed there. It was great. We went out immediately, which was against what the show told us to do.

Yeah, because I was told— I remember they sent you an email because I saw your story.

They sent—

and they told you not to go out.

Yeah, I have this thing where like I love to go— like I've experienced cultures and clubbing, right? I just think it's important to go out. I think like you got to meet the people, right?

So like you're the Anthony Bourdain of clubs. You have drunk people.

Yeah. So, um, I want to go out, but they sent me an email and I think the email was to me specifically. They're like, when we land in Johannesburg, David is not allowed to go out because we landed in the city because we had to have one connecting flight to go like deeper into like the savanna so we can go deeper into the bush and experience all that. But we landed there and I was like, we have fucking like 12 hours to our flight. Like, we should go out. So we went out. We went out to like 3 a.m., right? We were out for a while. It was really fun. People were like so sweet. South Africans are really cool because they're like really proud of their shit. Like, they're really proud of the place they're from. Like, you don't land and you never land in like— like if you came from South Africa to visit L.A., like you wouldn't meet like people and be like, I got to show you. I got to show you Delilah. I'm like, I gotta show you Saddle Ranch. Yeah, this place is stunning. Like, it's not like that. Like, in South Africa, everyone's like proud of everything. They're even proud of the things that they're— they shouldn't be proud of. Like, they'll be like, it's really dangerous here, but they'll like— they'll want to tell you. Like, like our driver was like, like, uh, I put in the vlog where like, you— no one stops at red lights at night because it's dangerous because you can get carjacked. I was reading something somewhere, or no, some, some South African told me that there was even an intersection where they had to cut down the trees around the intersection because people were hiding behind the trees ready to carjack.

Jesus.

So they cut down the trees so no one could hide and wait to carjack cars. But, but yeah, other than that, it was like fucking awesome. Like, we land every— the hospitality is like A1 in South Africa because the same with like them being so proud of their country, they want to share it and they want to be like, you know, they want to be— what is it called? Greetingful. Greetingful.

Your vocabulary has not improved.

They went, well, I learned— I learned Afrikaans, so I actually speak a completely different language. But in order to do that, I give them some more English. No, but yeah. And then we drove in and then we got into like, obviously the more like cliché, what you would expect of like Africa, like what you see on like the movies, right? Like the more like Sahara part. Sahara? I always make Savannah. Savannah. I'm always saying the wrong fucking thing. I'm there and I'll be like, the Arctic is beautiful. Like, I mix up all those words. I have no fucking clue. But, but it was like, even when we were in the middle of nowhere, like, the people were there were really— people would love to wave back, which was really fun.

You like that?

Yeah, I love, I love waving. And people would be on the bus like— but then some part of me Some part of me also felt like really weird, like to like drive through those villages. Like it, it like it felt like kind of gross in a way.

Like I felt like you were invading there.

Yeah. Like, like what? Like, like it felt like I was like going through it and like almost like sightseeing, but like people were living in poverty. So like it was weird. It was like a weird mix. Like it was like, well, I'm interested to learn about this, but I also feel like I just feel weird, like, coming here with, like, these, like, expensive cameras and all, like, our bougie clothing.

Yes, but you, you, you're taking that experience back here, and, and, and you'll be able to maybe, right, help one day.

I definitely see why. I definitely see why it's, like, a positive experience. But I also, I also found it, like, really weird, like, just being in the bus full of, like, 12 Americans or whatever we are, mix of people that are, like, looking at outside where things sometimes aren't that as good as they are back here.

Did you ever feel really unsafe?

No.

Even with like an animal?

The scariest part, which was also in the vlog, was the insects. Like there was fucking everything from scorpions to cockroaches, lizards, lizards on the bed, huge things you've never seen.

Did you sleep that night?

I think I actually fell asleep with my camera on because we were that tired. And I was like, like, once we started freaking out, I thought I found it so funny. So I was just like filming the entire thing and I like put the camera down and I fell asleep. And then 9 minutes later, as it was running, I turned it off because I woke up to it still on. Like, we were really tired. That's the only reason we fell asleep is because we were like, we were like 30+ hours without sleep. Yeah, because we went out the night before to the clubs and then we were like just fucking exhausted. Every time we film the show, every time we're out, we're like, I mean, you know, Yeah, like it's like nonstop.

It's nonstop. And they overshoot.

They overshoot.

Like, just fine.

Fucking insane.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I remember the day they sent me out to the aqua park with the family. You were editing.

Yeah.

No one ever saw that footage or anything. Remember that? I met the, the Indian family and spent the day with them at the aqua park and went down a really scary slide.

Oh, that's really funny.

Yeah. And I remember I showed up that day and the crew was like, 'Yo, where's David?' And I was like, 'Um, they sent me.' And you could see like the guy, the cameraman, was like, 'Oh, we don't even need to fucking film this shit.' We were in Dubai.

Yeah. And like I had to— I like surprised the family with like a vacation weekend or something. And part of it was going with, uh, with some of my friends to like a water park.

Yeah.

I don't know what it was.

You had done like 6 solid— we had done like 6 solid days in Dubai where you're leading this television show. You're setting up every setup. It's David's show. It's David's show. And then the last day you're like, fuck, we got to take this family to the water park. Let's send Jason. Yeah.

And that was my editing day.

Yeah.

And I guess Jason took him. I didn't even know you took him for the entire day. Yeah.

Yeah. They had me down there with GoPros and shit.

They didn't even make the show.

No, no.

Yeah, that's the worst.

And then I asked for the footage and they were like, yeah, I don't know where it is.

That's what's so like— what's so interesting about the show is like, good practice. So if you don't know, I'm doing a show on the Discovery Channel and it's so crazy because like I'm shooting some of it as well on my camera because they use my footage.

Yeah.

So it's like so crazy. The day we had the freakout, like the night we had the freakout, which I thought was like the funniest stuff. Like you saw, you just think it was funny. Yeah, it was really fun when we were like—

that was the funniest part.

Yeah. When like Ilya and Natalie, everybody was freaking out. Like I remember we came back to the lounge and they're still all working on their computers. Like all the show people are working on their computers because they're planning out the next day. And I just like I just walked up to them like, don't worry, I just shot the show for you because like most of it happened like in the middle of the safari with just my cameras. I don't know what they'll use, but, and then, you know, a lot of the show. Then the next morning we had all interviews about what happened last night.

Right. How does it feel that you've traveled so many places now? Not—

it's sick, bro. And Africa was fucking amazing.

That's great.

I keep saying Africa, but I mean South Africa. People get mad at that. People are like, it's not— But it is Africa. I did go to the continent, but people are weird about that. We went to a village and we hung out with this chief. Really cool. He like fell in love with Natalie.

I saw that.

It was really weird. I thought it was because Natalie was wearing like a white tank top and like her nipples were poking through it.

I was thinking about that though, because David was like, you can see your nipples through your shirt. And I was like, I'm sure he's seen a million tits. Like, I don't think that, you know, like, none of those illustrated swimsuits.

Don't put yourself down.

Come on.

Okay. Oh, we did this thing. It was so fun. It's only going to be— I— the show's really nice because they let me use anything for the vlog before, which is really cool. But I left this for the show because I think it's gonna look so much cooler on the show. We, we were with these anti-poachers. So basically people poach animals in Africa for like a lot of money. Like a rhino is like, for its tusk, it's like $30,000 per pound. So like one rhino can make you— one rhino kill can make you like $2.5 million. Which is insane. So people do this, like people poach these animals and they poach other animals. So then there's this anti-poaching unit that basically goes out and finds these people and will arrest them or will have a shootout with them. Like, it's like fucking insane. Like I was asking, I was like, some of the last people they arrested are in jail for 30 to 40 years now. Like, rhino tusks are more valuable per pound than diamonds and cocaine. Like, that's how much— like, they're like the most expensive, most expensive material you can find in the world. So we were at this anti-poaching unit and they had these like really— they had these dogs, they're like German Shepherd type of breed. I don't know what they were, but what they do is they send these dogs once they find like little tracks of poachers, and these dogs will run for like kilometers and find these poachers. And like sometimes it they'll find the poachers like in the middle of their poach, or they'll find the poachers like back in the middle of a village. Like the poachers could have changed their clothes and they'll be shopping in a village and the dogs will run into the village full of like thousands of people and will find the one scent that they're looking for. Like really fucking smart dogs. And they're all tracked with GPS. So the dogs run out and then a car, like 3 cars follow with the anti-poachers and they all pull up and they arrest whoever is the poacher. Um, so what we did is we made Jonah the poacher, and we gave Jonah like a 20-minute head start. So Jonah like ran, he went like half a mile, which is pretty crazy, and he climbed up a tree. Like, the producers had to push him up a tree, and then they let the dogs go to find him. And while the dogs were looking for him, I was up in a helicopter, like, like sight— like looking over the dogs. So we were following the dogs with our helicopter.

No way.

It was fucking sick.

That sounds great.

And like 6 dogs went, and Jonah was in the tree, and right below Jonah was a guy in like a dog suit. So the— so when the dogs finally got to Jonah, they were like 6 dogs circling the tree, all barking at him, and they're like biting the guy right under him. No way. And then our helicopter's like flying over and you just see Jonah's stupid orange bucket hat. And then we landed our helicopter right next to him and like, got him. It was so fucking fun.

So fucking cool. Was he freaking out?

Oh my God. Yeah, he was so panicked, but he loved that he did it. That's how, like, the way I describe Jonah. Jonah's like, Jonah's like, like a kid who, like, says he hates ice cream, right? Till you give it to him.

Yeah.

And he's like, this is the best fucking thing in the world. Like, you just got to, like, show him what he likes because he refuses to try anything new. But okay, let me, let me say this. I was very reluctant to do a TV show. Like, I've done TV shows before where I've had, like, full-blown panic attacks during the TV show, and I'm like, why the fuck am I doing this? Like, I don't need to do TV shows. Like, I just need to focus on my own thing. Why am I doing TV shows? But this is the one show that I'm like, so stoked that I did.

Oh, good.

Like, really, really stoked. Because, you know, not only do we get these like crazy cool experiences, but like, like each one of our flights was $15,000. Yeah, each one of our tickets. Yeah, my ticket was $15,000. Natalie's ticket was $50,000. And there's like 6 of us that go on this fucking flight. And that's not counting our food, the activities, the accommodations.

Right.

So like, this is literally the dream job.

To try to pay for that for your vlog would be impossible.

Not even to pay, but like to try to like set it up, get all our friends together internationally. Like, and it's amazing, we get there and we don't just like sit on our ass and we vacation. Like every day we have 3 things to do.

Yeah.

And it's fucking— it's literally the best job in the world.

That's great.

Like to do this show, it's like the coolest thing. And the people are so cool. Discovery is so nice, they're so sweet when they, they, they help us with everything. They're really accommodating for my vlog, which I know we were nervous about, right? I remember we were talking and Jason was like, you know, they're not going to let you do the vlog, right? And I agree with him. I was like, yeah, they're probably not. But like, they're really accommodating. Like, they're full support on the vlog.

Good.

Full support for me. And they still get the show done. It was really cool because the crew, the crew on our show, like, haven't seen any of my videos. I showed them my vlog that I just posted about South Africa and they were like, this is better than the show. So they're really sweet. But, but definitely go, go download Discovery Plus. The South Africa episode is coming out soon. That'll be a fun one to watch. It was really funny. I was like, we're obviously with new people there because it's the crew. Like, Natalie was laying down and I'm like, I was like, get up, you hippo, we got to go. And one of the crew members goes, whoa, really? But then the Natalie goes, it's better than crack whore.

Oh my God, that's funny.

It was so weird with you guys gone. It was like, really?

Yeah, bro, I have a bone to pick with you. What is it? You fucking asshole. What did you do? You went hot tubbing.

Bro, I— I—

you're such an asshole.

Why am I an asshole?

I ask you to do that shit.

You never call me to hot tub. Shut the fuck up. Every time you call me to hot tub, I come.

You do the shit.

We had the conversation with John. John was like— John was like, Jason, I don't understand why you don't come over and hot tub.

It's just the best.

And I was like, you guys never call me.

I checked the security cameras and I'm like, we were having the best time. I'm like, that's a weird man.

That's a weird older guy.

Who's that man in my hot tub? I text Taylor and she's like, oh yeah, Jason's here. And I go, what? I got so angry. I literally turned to Natalie and I went, Natalie, you won't believe where Jason is. And also because we asked him to go to Africa, granted last minute, but, but he was like, I have so much to do, Dave, you have no idea, I'm so busy. And I was— and then Taylor's like, yeah, he's in the hot tub with us. And I was like, you guys went to like Disneyland? And I was like, okay. And she was— and she was like Yeah, we had a blast today. We went to Disney and he took us out to dinner. I was like, what? And then I turned to Natalie and I was like, Nat, am I missing something? Like, does Jason not like me?

Bro, you never invite me to hot tub, bro. You never invite me. Send me a text.

I invite you all the time.

No, you don't.

And not only that, and when you do invite me, I come. And you know what you do? You fucking leave immediately.

I do?

You do this. Now what does he do?

I gotta get home to the dog.

He does this thing.

Seem like you had to get home and you were hanging out here with everybody else.

But he had a blast, man. I understood. The hot tub was so good.

What was wrong with you?

With what?

You never come hot tub with me.

You don't invite me. I'm not— I don't show up places that I'm not invited, especially here, this nice house.

We'll be hanging out all day and then I'll be like, Jay, why don't you stay? And he'll be like, right, right now? Explain this.

Well, that's what I was saying. I was like, well, because sometimes we, we're here, we're doing our thing all day, it's a little— it could be stressful, whatever. It's like work, you know?

Sure.

And then it comes to the end of the day and you're like, I gotta go take the dog, I gotta take my kids, even all your other personal responsibilities. So you leave and you don't hang out and do kind of the fun stuff that we do.

I know, I always miss out on the fun stuff.

I know, and we wish you would. And then we look on the cameras and you're having the fun stuff, but you do it on purpose.

I don't.

You do it on purpose.

Deadass swear on— you know who you are?

You're that fucking bitch that goes, I'm never invited anywhere, when really that person is invited everywhere, but they're just like They blame their own introvertedness on everybody else.

I know. I hate that. Okay, all right, I'll come. That's all you do here all the time. Oh, you never let me. Bro, we had the best time. You never let me in the hot tub. And then I was—

Yes, I invite you all the fucking time.

I was smoking weed in the hot tub, having the best time, and then Natalie texted me, like, you know, inferring that maybe I screwed something up about the podcast. I was like, oh man. I was like, fuck. I was like, Natalie's texting me. And then, uh, and I freaked out. I was like, damn, like, totally ruined my buzz.

You're like, damn, I can't even hang out here when they're not here.

No, it sucked. It sucked with you guys gone. It was like really— it was really tough.

Did you miss us?

Oh my God, yeah.

We were with this guy in like the Polaris Lounge, like the United Airlines lounge, and I think I'll put in like a future vlog, but like he was really cool. He like He was like, really cool hip guy. And he was giving us a tour on the lounge and he was like, he was like, fucking these showers.

And he was like, his name was Blue Magic.

His name was Blue Magic.

And he starts off with these showers.

He's like, I fuck in these showers. That's how he would talk. I don't know how to explain it, but he was like, you explained it well. It's like a New York dude. He was like hitting on Natalie and Pearson. He was like, if you stay long enough, you're going to get in the shower.

No way.

And I was like, Jason would have been perfect to interact with this guy. No way. He had two wives and he called one of his wives and he's like, baby, Tell him I got another wife. And she goes, she goes, yeah, he's got another wife. And, and he goes, it's because Blue do what Blue gotta do.

He was like, that's how you're talking.

He's a fucking, he's a fucking character.

He's at the airport.

Yeah. My favorite moment was he showed this. This is what I'm gonna put in the vlog later, but he'll— he showed us, he showed us like the shower in the, in the United lounge. And, and, and there's two showers, right? One that comes from the ceiling and one that comes from the side. And I was like, do they go on at once? And he like taps a button and at the same time the showers comes on, he goes, there's a bear shit in the woods. Ilya is here on the podcast. So, you know, we're going to be talking about a little bit of some jerking off. Yep.

Thank God it's the jerking off segment.

It's our jerking off correspondent, Ilya Fenerovich, live from the booth. I was masturbating this morning. Where are you? You tell us how it feels? I've been so horny the last 2 days.

Okay, come on.

Oh, me too, bro. It's really weird. I think there's something—

you not come all the way here to talk about your fucking cum bucket and you being horny?

What do you know about my cum bucket?

Yeah, what do you know about his cum bucket?

Wait, wait, wait, wait, please. I'm really happy for you.

I was so horny yesterday I couldn't feel my toes.

Nobody cares. Nobody cares.

But why?

Like, this is—

it's like keeping to yourself. Why do you have to tell people that you're horny or that you're doing weird shit with your fucking penis?

Why not, bro?

Why is there such a weird stigma about like being horny?

Yeah, why can't we talk? There's literally podcasts dedicated to sex. Why can't we have a little bit of, little bit of sex talk?

This is becoming—

all the girls can always have these sex podcasts, but when guys do it, it's disgusting.

It's weird.

Yeah, we can't talk about sex, but girls can have full podcasts.

You can talk about it.

How's your sex life? How's your sex life?

It's pretty good.

Tell me about it.

What do you want to know?

When's the last time you jerked off? Jerked off? Why jerk off? Okay, what should we talk about? You lead the discussion of sex talk.

No, not of sex talk. Why don't we just talk? Like, because we're friends, we don't have to talk about—

You only perk up when we talk about sex. It's the only time I see you perk up.

It's weird.

It's just so interesting to me.

It is interesting, but like, talk about other things.

Talk about your old videos. It's not the same as when Ilya's hard. You like talking about the old videos, but What's the weirdest place you guys have masturbated?

Airplane.

I don't masturbate in weird places. Like, it's just not a thing.

Slovakia.

Slovakia.

Yeah, that is a weird place. You go to jail in that place. Now, where's the worst place you have?

Nowhere. I don't masturbate in weird places. I don't get horny.

How many times a week do you masturbate?

What do you mean? You know, you just don't get horny randomly.

But I don't have to go immediately do something about it. I can just get over it.

I do.

I'm mid-email fucking leaving my room and going to masturbate.

Have you ever been so horny where you have to stop what you're doing and do something else?

No.

No. Ilya? Yes.

Have you ever cut a call short to masturbate? No. It's come close. Have you ever, like, have you ever, like, been in a conversation, like a business conversation with Dave, like about the pizza place and like in the back of your mind, you're like, I can't wait till this conversation's over. I'm going to go jerk off in my room right now.

Honestly, no.

But have you ever looked at Dave in a sexual way?

Yes.

Same with me. Same with me about it.

Yeah.

What? Yeah. It's not like I want to have sex with him. Yeah, but I'd love for him to be there.

Yeah, totally. Why don't you guys just do that? Does Megan still watch these? My publicist, she approves stuff.

We'll see if this shit's in. She doesn't watch them. Megan, I just, I just don't understand what's so wrong about, about this conversation.

I think we get the, we get the visual image of you masturbating and that's what scares you. Yeah, we're kind of like, okay, well, you should, you should start with that. You know, like, that's, that's what do you imagine if I, what if I said that? What if I was like, Dave, I fucking jacked off?

Yeah, exactly.

I took off all my clothes and I grabbed the Lubriderm.

I'd stop the camera. I'm already stopping it.

Yeah.

Yeah.

And then I squatted for a really long time and I jacked my dick and I run my—

because you're old.

And he's young, you know, like Dave probably has got it like a pretty good looking cock. So like, I'm okay with imagining him fucking whip it out, right?

You are okay with imagining David?

100%.

I actually know exactly how he does it.

Show me.

Disgusting. You have cameras.

We'll change the conversation for the sake of Natalie. But just because I'm wondering, what do you imagine my masturbating looking like if it freaks you out so much?

I can't.

You think I breathe like that?

Yeah, I'm sure you do. You probably don't realize it, but you probably are. You're like, all your sweaty hands on your dick and you're breathing off heavily.

Like 4 fingers in his asshole.

All right, okay, well, we'll change the topic. Let's talk about something else.

Um, when we were in Africa, we were sitting at breakfast and it was me, Ilya, Jonah, Susie, and, uh, it was your first mistake. Well, nobody else was up in time to get breakfast with me except for these 3. But, um, Ilya and Jonah are going back and forth about how rich they're gonna be one day. You know how they have these conversations like, I'll be rich, I'll make more money, I'm better than you, you know, whatever. They go back and forth like that.

Yeah.

And then Ilya made a comment somehow where he was talking about who's the most intelligent in the room at the breakfast table, which is most obviously right.

I would agree that it's you.

Okay, thank you. And Ilya was like, you know what, Natalie, actually I think you and Jonah are probably like tied for the most smart at this table. And I didn't even— I didn't even reply because I didn't want to waste my energy.

What?

At this table?

Most intelligent.

Intelligent.

Wait, who said that?

Ilya. Ilya said that?

I don't think I said that.

No, because I remember I got to breakfast really late and I was like, how's breakfast? Or something. And Natalie was like, well, they just deemed Jonah the most intelligent.

Yep. Yep.

I don't think I said that.

Yes, you did.

No, I said that you guys underestimate Jonah.

That's what I said.

No. Yeah, we did talk about how we underestimate Jonah, but you were— and when we declared who was going to be the most intelligent at the table, you said, honestly, I think Natalie and Jonah are tied.

What does that mean?

I was like, what do you mean by—

so wait, Aaliyah, you said Natalie and Jonah are smarter than you?

I don't think so. Well, what do you mean by intelligence?

Like I don't know.

I didn't really— I wasn't really part of the conversation. You guys were just having it. And then you declared Jonah and I say crazy stuff just to say it.

That's what I— that's what I was going to say. I think— did you just say that to be insane? Like, we know Jonah really well because there's—

I've been on those trips with you guys and there's some stuff that comes out of your mouth that I'm like, Jay, like, what are you talking about?

Like, what comes out of our mouth?

Like, you'll— David, you'll just say the craziest shit sometimes. Yeah. You're just like, I'm ready to die right now. I don't give a fuck. I'll jump in front of this bus. I don't care about my life.

You're like, whoa, whoa, never said that.

Oh yeah, you guys say the crazy— Ilya will say it too. He's like, Dave, I'll fuck that zebra right now.

I'll do it.

Like, I'll fuck the zebra right now and I'll fuck him harder than Jonah. And Jonah's like, I'll fuck it even harder. And you're just like, where the fuck am I? These guys are insane. It's everything's so competitive. It's just like, what? What's going on? No one wants to die.

Even our hypothetical situations are competitive. Yeah, that is funny. Yeah. No, I don't think I've ever said that. But the zebra situation has definitely happened, especially when we're in Africa.

I mean, I get it. You're on a bus for a long time and you're bored and it's just like you just start saying the craziest shit. You're going— you're going stir crazy a little bit, right?

Right.

Let me tell you my running story. I go down to run. I love to run right on the beach. My favorite thing in the world. You've already checked out.

I'm here. I'm here. I checked out. I checked out right when you started. I was like, I mean, beach.

I'll just— I'll just tell it to the camera.

Yeah.

All right, guys. So I go running and this is my—

were you masturbating on the beach or no?

Oh my God.

I'll put that in.

Okay.

Okay. So I start jacking off on the beach before I start my run.

I'm in. No, no, no. Okay, go, go. You're running on the beach?

No. So I drive down there. I got the dog with me. So excited. I see a space and I'm like, oh, a fucking space. Like, oh my God.

Yeah, yeah.

But I also see a crazy guy covered in tattoos in a— looking in his reflection in the car going like, what the fuck? What the fuck?

What the fuck? Sorry, at you?

No, he's in there. He's looking at his reflection.

Oh, he's outside of another car.

He's getting hyped up.

Okay, okay, so I'm like, fuck, and this is right by the space, right by the space I want.

I'm like, fuck, I need that space. I'm gonna slide in there, let him do his thing, and I'll be fine. So I fucking get the space, I parallel park, he's still going at it. And I'm like, parallel park, I'm like, not here. You can get my space. Fucking get out of the car. Get Henry out of the car, you know, and get my headphones, like, real quiet. Fucking come out of the car. The guy just goes, hey, fuck you, Jason Nash! What? Fuck you! Fuck you, Jason Nash! David Dobrik's vlogs! Fuck you! Fuck you! And I'm like, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh my God! Oh my God! No, no! And then the dog doesn't read the guy at all. The dog's like, the dog fucking sprints towards tattooed face. He's like, I'm gonna fuck you up, I'm gonna fuck you up, like that. And I'm like, oh my God, oh my God, I'm pulling the dog. And so I just run, I just start running, blah blah blah blah blah. I'm like, goddamn it, fuck my run-up. So then today I go again because this is my spot. Yeah, fucking Ferris and I go out, we do 5 miles, fucking awesome. I'm coming back at the end and Ferris is behind me and I'm just like, I finish my— he just fucking looks up at me, the guy with the tattoo face. And he's like— and I have my headphones on and this time he's nice but also aggressive. So he's like, he's like, I'm a fan of the vlogs, you fucking bitch. Where's David, you fucking bitch? And he's like, I'm a fan of the vlogs, you bitch. I'm gonna fucking kill you. I'm a fan of the vlogs. I'm like, he's— so now it's like mixed, you know? So it's like I wanted to— I wanted to stop and be like, hi, take a picture or whatever. Yeah, but I was just too scared and I just kept running. So now I can't run there anymore. Well, listen, Dave, we got two surprises for you.

I'm closing my eyes.

Okay, well, first you can keep your eyes open.

Okay.

Okay, because the first people I'm gonna bring in are Todd and Brett. Todd and Brett, come on in! Oh, hi!

It's an honor.

What's up, Todd?

Great to see you, man.

Bro, good to see you guys.

How is South Africa?

I mean, it was great. This is an honor. I can't believe you guys are here right now.

I'm here actually because, uh, A bunch of people told me that you touched Natalie's tit.

Oh, I heard about this. Yeah, that's not true. It was— it was—

I didn't— I didn't watch the vlog.

Oh, good.

That's not a good one.

It was actually— it's not a good one this week.

You know who it was? Jason called me. He said, you see that piece of shit David touch your girlfriend's? Yeah.

You snitched on me touching Natalie's boob?

That's fucked up. I'm just kidding.

No way. You actually did call?

No, I didn't even know you touched her boob. No, cool. It's all good.

It was in the vlog when I pushed her. I got to feel—

share it with the homies.

I mean, it's exactly what I imagined it like.

Yeah, nice, huh?

And we have to reshoot that like 4 or 5 times.

I feel that. Dave, you've done a lot for us, and Brett and I, we want to repay you.

And I've done nothing for Brett.

Well, you let him be your friend.

I did let him come into the house, which is a lot. I feel like, you know, Brett, we met somebody who told us this unbelievable story, and about— and you were an integral part of how— of changing their life. You've done a lot for all of us.

Don't worry, it's no ex-girlfriends.

Bummer. My hands are so sweaty. Okay, okay, okay, okay. What is it? What is it?

What is it? Okay, close your eyes. Should I grab blindfold them and blindfold? And then, well, I have it. Yeah, well, and then, uh, we'll tell you when to take it off. You're gonna know when to take off the blindfold, bro.

I'm shaking.

Wait.

Oh my God, should have done better than this, bro.

This is so cool.

Please, I'll be strong.

Someone give me car keys to give away a car.

Oh my God. Wow, this is fucking crazy.

I'm sorry, I'll let you sing.

Show me what I'm looking for. Oh Lord.

One second, verse.

Oh no, no, no, no, I'm gonna puke. That was freaking beautiful.

Are you kidding me? I owe you, like, I, I can't say thank you enough.

For what?

Because you brought my whole career back around, homie. Honestly, it would have never— that, that stuff was dead in the water without you and what you've done and given this so much good work.

Are you fucking kidding me?

The honest to God truth. Yeah, man, this thing was totally just— I was homeless. I was like, I had lost pretty much everything I had. And when you started finding the song and giving it to all these kids and everything, it really brought me back around. So you have honestly changed. I'm telling you, dude.

Oh my God, my hands are so sweaty. I'm so sorry. Your hands are so sweaty.

I love you and thank you for that, man. Bro, to meet you and say thank you, that's everything. I am so grateful for it. Not even in like the Hollywood thing. It really mattered. It changed my life. It did. It brought me back on like—

we should say this is Chad Wolf from Carolina Liar.

Nice to meet you.

What?

This is— I don't understand. Thank you. Thanks for being here. Thanks for saying that. But what do you mean? Your song is a fucking hit. It's been a hit Forever.

I think it was more of a hit because you put it back into the world. Honestly, I believe that with all of my heart. I tell these guys that before even knowing anything of their association to you or any of that. I tell everybody that this would have never happened with these songs, the numbers that I get, and people who have found the song would have never happened without you. Oh, never.

This is—

explain, explain that to the audience in case they don't know.

Okay, so I mean, I use that song. I've used your song maybe like 6 or 7 8 times for, like, emotional moments in videos. I don't know. I just associate that song with, like, I think that's just like the best song to use under any emotional crying moment. Anybody's getting a gift or a surprise. I'm just— that's so flattering. Like, it's crazy.

Flattery. Like, honestly, if there was a way that I could give you a car for it, I would.

No, no, no, no, no. You— I mean, the song's incredible and the song does the they help the videos out so much because, because that's under what I— sorry, I'm having a hard time putting words together because I'm so nervous. That's such a crazy compliment to pay from like a songwriter that's made such an amazing piece of work.

So, but that's the thing is like, it's, it's, it's honest. And then the cool thing about getting to be as old as I am and going through all the crazy things that I've seen and been a part of, I can look back at somebody and say, hey, you know, I— this wasn't about me. It was about the song and how you felt it and how you knew that it actually mattered and it could touch people in a way that I couldn't see it. I discounted it. It was one of those things where, yeah, I wrote a song and it is that part of my life.

Are we talking about the same song? Because you're making it sound like this song was nothing before it got to that point in my life.

Yeah, man, it just wasn't there and I didn't appreciate the significance of it. I did not.

And now you understand.

Kidding. Seeing all these people and just kind of what you did with it, what it exposed. To so many other people, and people seeing it and using it and feeling it in a way that is personal to them is life-changing. So yeah, you do really good work, man.

Thank you so much. Thank you so much.

True. So I am grateful, and you know, you get to be here on a Friday afternoon. This is rad with these dudes.

How do you know that? How do you know these dudes?

Met Brett at a party.

Yeah.

What the fuck?

He brought me to a party where Brett and they had a mutual friend, and then he just like—

we talked for 30 minutes before I knew who he was. Oh, I talked to him for 4 and I thought that was too much.

For 30?

You truly are special. Wow, that's pretty cool. Yeah, that is amazing. Okay, that's insane. How did you come up with the song? I'm always so curious, like, when like a songwriter writes like a song that's like So fucking incredible. So how does that happen?

It was honestly— I was telling the guys this morning, it was a— it was a 15-minute thing. My buddy that I wrote it with, one of the Swedes, he was just saying we wanted to write a simple 4-chord song, something that's kind of just basic and clean. And he walked up to go and use the restroom when we were in this house. And as he walked away, he basically said, show me what I'm looking for. And I was like, that's it. I got it, man. And he's like, whatever. And he walked off. And when he came back, like 15 minutes later, I had the whole song. It was done. Everything was finished. It all came through at that point. And it was—

dude, that's so crazy.

It's true. And it was cool because it came from this whole place of just the LA experience of like people coming here looking to find the answer to everything, you know? And it's like, okay, I'll try this. I'll keep trying to do this, this, this, and this and this. And it's never quite The thing that everybody's honestly digging around for and searching for, the happiness that they think they're going to find if they come here and they find all the things and they get— it was so cool. I can't believe I'm sitting here with you in this space. I can't believe it.

David, we have one more surprise. ABBA, come on in. ABBA, Dancing Queen.

Oh dude, we know those guys. I can call those cats up for you.

ABBA?

Yeah, because of Martin. Oh, that's all the Swedes. So all these—

oh, the Swedes. God, we keep coming back to Sweden.

You know ABBA?

I didn't get to meet them personally, but all the years that I worked out of Stockholm, Max Martin and all those guys, they would always put me up in Benny's. Benny has a hotel. And the first bus that we ever rented was ABBA's bus whenever we toured across Sweden.

Wow.

Chad, if you want to move in here, just bring ABBA with you.

Yeah. If you want to live here forever. Yeah. They're holograms. Even if we get to to talk to the holograms of Abba. That'd be cool.

That'd be a win.

Well, thank you so much for coming. This is crazy. All right, guys, that's all the time we have for today. Thank you guys for joining me. Hope to see you guys here for next week's podcast. My name is Jeff. We'll see you later. Bye.