Someone Snuck Into David's House

What's up guys, welcome back to Views. Special guest here, Ilya Fedorovich.

What's up, what's up?

From where are you from, by the way? Where are you from?

Where's your best friend, brother?

You know where I'm from.

We used to be best friends, Jay.

What happened?

He's like number 4 now.

Who's, uh, what are the weekly rankings? Did they come out yet?

What do you mean that's not true?

Who's that one?

John Taylor.

Who's that two?

Can Taylor be up there, like, legally?

No.

Okay.

What do you mean?

Well, she's just like, I don't know her from my hometown.

Priority, brother.

Yeah.

So I can't put her up there.

Yes, you can. Really? Yeah. People come in and out of your life. I mean, you don't have to like—

Yeah, but the people from my hometown aren't out of my life. Therefore, I don't think they could be surpassed. I feel like they're grandfathered into the best friend list.

No, I think those rankings can shift. I think a guy from Boston could be your best friend.

Well, okay, if I'm being serious on who my best friend is, yeah, I think surprisingly Ilya is still like holding strongly at the number 1 or 2 spot.

Whoa.

With Natalie. And then I would say, who do you think I'm closer to, Alex or John?

Yeah, um, probably John. Really?

I would think probably Alex, and I think Alex would go next.

Really?

Interesting.

Why do you say John?

Why do I say John?

Yeah. Um, I don't know.

I just feel like David hates John more, John, and therefore, therefore, yeah, you know what I mean? Okay, I could see that. I could see that. But John's more like a character to me, do you know what I mean? John's like, um, like not real. John's not real. John's not on the list. John's a figment of my imagination, so I don't consider him to be a human being. No, I don't know. I just feel like John's— John is like such an anomaly where it's just like day by day it's, uh It's different. It's also been tougher, like, working with John. Yeah, you know, now you see like more of his flaws.

Yeah, because it comes to you.

It's so not—

it's not just him screwing up his life.

Yeah, now it's affecting me. Yeah, and it's definitely docked him on the best friend list. That's why they say don't work with your friends, especially if your friends don't know how to work. I'm kidding.

I feel like you know who your best friend is if you can not talk to each other for like multiple years and then you come back and like Okay, okay, if you're talking to somebody not for multiple years, then it's not—

I went out—

I literally just had this with my, my best friend. I hadn't talked to him for like 15 years, and now I see him every week.

I'm just saying, like, you see him every— you've probably seen him 3 times.

I've seen him 6 times in the last 6 weeks. 6 or 7 times.

6.

Which is a lot.

I'm just saying, I feel like your bond is still there.

Okay, well, regardless, Illya and I went out this weekend.

What I'm trying to say is I don't want to see you. Okay, next couple years.

Um, Ilya and I went out this weekend because Natalie couldn't. Natalie like abandoned me all weekend, would not respond to me, turned her phone off, was sick.

Really?

Yeah, we had that SpongeBob screening.

Yeah.

And then she got like too blacked out or something, which is kind of crazy to do. Like, it's a fucking Nickelodeon movie, dude, with Paramount. Like, chill. Um, so yeah, and then she couldn't come out this entire weekend, so Ilya did the honor of coming out with me. Oh, December 13th was a big, big Um, Christmas party day here. Heard you went to a lit one.

Oh, I went to it.

Are you allowed to talk about it?

Yeah, I'm ready to talk about it. But what did you think when you got the call from Dave December 13th to go out on a Friday night? Were you like, "Ah, fuck, I gotta go do this"?

I mean, he really doesn't ask me to go out much.

Okay.

Often anymore.

What did he call and say?

It's crazy if you're listening to these podcasts out of order, isn't it?

Uh, what do you mean?

Well, because like, if you just listen to this one and then you like listen to it like a year and a half ago, He'd be telling you like, you ask me every fucking day to go out. Yeah, it's kind of crazy how things like change and you can like kind of—

you just get used to stuff about, you know, how I say no all the time.

Yeah. I mean, I really don't ask him anymore.

How did you ask this time?

This was an easy ask because it was Sunday and the first party we had to be at like Saturday. Saturday? Oh yeah. The first party we had to be like at was like 7 or 8 or whatever. So like he was going to be home by 10:30 and I wasn't like going out to drink. I was just going out to like, just like be Christmasy and just say hi to everybody. Like, I told people I would go to some Christmas party, so I like went around town and I stopped by. Yeah, I ended up at the nightclub, which is with Ilya. No, no, no, no, Ilya left at like 9:45, 10:30.

Yeah, yeah, getting that sleep.

Did you get fucked up?

I was doing a really good job of handling my alcohol, actually.

Nice.

I think it's because I kept moving around and I was with Noah Beck, who keeps me pretty sober.

He doesn't drink.

He doesn't drink.

That's fun.

And it's— well, it's not the most fun because he doesn't drink, but it's also like—

drinking is amazing.

The day of and not the next day.

Yeah, but like, like I went to this party Saturday night and I was like pretty inhibited and, you know, like, because there's like a lot of big people there and I started to drink and my personality completely changed. And I ended up talking to like, you know, 4 amazing people that I would never get to talk to.

I don't love drinking, but it is the best when you're nervous.

Yes.

Like when you're nervous at a party, the moment that you like that it switches over from like being nervous to tipsy is like an incredibly freeing feeling.

The best.

Who was at your party that you were—

Well, we were there and—

Can you say whose party it was or no?

I don't have to say whose party it was. I was at a friend's party and And it was pretty small. And then Adam Sandler walked in. We were like, oh my God, can't believe it.

That's sick.

And Vayner was like, go talk to him. And I'm like, I can't. I'm like, I can't just walk up to Adam Sandler. And so then—

There's also like 80 people at this party, so you definitely could.

I guess, but like, I didn't have anything ready to say. So then eventually I started drinking and I saw his wife. We were talking to her. She was so nice. And we were talking about kids. And then he moseyed over and we talked to him for like 10 minutes. And he like, he like asked me about me. I was like, oh my God.

Did he know about you?

No, he doesn't know me.

Okay.

And he asked me about me and then we talked about, we talked about my, the thing that made me laugh the most was he was, our kids are like kind of the same age and his kids make music too. And so then he was asking me about, he point blank asked me, he's like, what's your son's band's name? And I was like, Great Big Cow. And then he's like, oh, Great Big Cow. It was like, it blew me away to hear him say Great Big Cow. And he said it like 3 times.

That is a pretty interesting, like, um, interesting set of words to string together. Great Big Cow. Great Big Cow.

Yeah, yeah. And then I talked to Kevin Hart. So nice. I just watched his special.

What kind of party was this, bro?

So I'm with— so I talked to Adam Sandler for like—

wait, just, just do, do, do like, uh, do like a quick name drop. Go.

Okay, it was like It was like Jamie Foxx, J.Lo. Jesus Christ, Ben Affleck.

Brother, why were we not at this party?

Lori from Shark Tank, who's incredible. And so then after I talked to Adam Sandler, I was so fucking high on life. I was like, I couldn't believe that he just gave me—

Yeah, then you could talk to anybody.

Yeah, then you could talk to anybody. Then you're like, oh my God, this is incredible. So then I just walked over to Kevin Hart right after that, and I was like— and I had something to say to Kevin Hart. I just watched his special, and I've been telling everybody, I'm like, special's so fucking good. Like, I really liked it. So I walk right up to him, and I was like, I'm gonna tell you about your special. He was like, And he was super Kevin Hart. He was like, he dropped everything he was doing. He dropped his conversation. He turned to me and he pointed and he's like, okay, let's go. Like he wanted to hear about it. So I told him what I liked about it, which was everything, specifics. And that was great. And then I'm fucking boozing and drinking, having a blast. David and I are having a blast. And I am so keyed up that Lori from Shark Tank walks by, just walks by me. And I just go, Lori, I wanna thank you for all your years on Shark Tank. Like that. And everybody laughed. And she was like, you, you're, oh.

Oh, well, okay, thank you, thank you.

And then maybe like a couple minutes later she's like, all my years on Shark Tank, you're fu— come on. And then Lori goes into— we talked to Lori for like an hour.

Like, Jason's dreaming all this.

Then I know it was like I'm dreaming.

Adam's hand, I was like, why aren't you on SNL? You know what, you know what, let me give Lorne Michaels a call. You are what you— I heard what you said back there to Lori. That was funny. Years on Shark Tank. You put a guy like you in all my movies.

Hang on a second, Adam's texting.

Okay, and then what happened?

Then I go, then I said, Lori, we're talking, we're vibing, and I go, oh my god, Lori, you're on Shark Tank, you invest in things. I've got something to pitch you right now. And she's like, what is it? What is it?

Oh, you pitched her right on the spot?

Yeah, I pitched her right on the spot.

Guess what he fucking pitched her?

I go, it's a TV show. I go, I've already made the pilot. I go, wait, Lori, I can bring you in on the ground floor, $10,000, that's all I'm asking for the second episode. She laughed, whatever, then And then, and then, yeah, and we were having fun. It was, it was so fun.

Well, what do you think about him pitching his pilot right when he sees her at a party?

It wasn't right after, it was like 20 minutes in.

Okay.

Um, I think you gotta take your fucking shot.

Yeah, 100%.

Thank you, Ill. Wow.

What do you think about that? You think that's bad?

I mean, obviously.

Why?

Pitching someone— pitching Lori from Shark Tank a pilot?

Obviously she's not— she doesn't invest in TV shows.

Oh, okay. So it's like, it was like an obvious—

an earring company.

It was like an obvious joke. Oh, Then yeah, that's—

well, also, but I mean, if she wanted to give me the money, I wouldn't say no.

But you also never know. What if she—

you never know.

You never know what if she's like—

never know. Yeah, like so many weird things have happened, um, just by— just by— just by texting people.

Bro, the door won't open unless you knock, you know what I mean?

I agree.

Like, I agree with that.

Okay, Mr. Quote. I'm just saying, the door won't open.

That's a good one. I like that one.

Yeah, I mean, it's true.

I like that one. Um, so yeah, what else?

Why are you looking at me like that?

You fucking You're so lame.

You're lame, bro.

You ever think about how lame you are?

Sometimes.

Really?

No.

Anyway, it was fucking dope. Wow, what a weekend.

I'm happy for you, dude.

Oh, that's really fun.

Yeah, it was so fun. I wish you'd come.

And it's triple fun because it's like all people your age. Uh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

That's like—

so it's like a real grown-up party.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

People that have been in the industry for years, like yourself.

People have been flirting with the industry for years.

Wow.

That's sick. Yeah, I don't know. We had fun.

We saw Rocky. We saw ASAP Rocky. That was cool.

Oh, that's a good sighting.

It's a good one. Yeah, we didn't see any crazy celebs, but—

Yes, you did.

No, I sort of got really sure you did.

Oh, not really.

Our celeb sighting was low.

Yep.

Really? What's the plan for 2026?

Oh, dude, we're going to fucking make millions.

Really?

What do you project us to make in 2026?

Honestly?

Yeah.

Well, this year for Zillow, we'll do close to $3 million.

Wow.

And next year I really want to do $5 million. It's my goal.

When are you going to sell it?

I don't know. Maybe 3 years, maybe 5 years, maybe 10, you know.

Wow.

But my goal is to change that answer like every couple of months, right?

I mean, not true. I say I don't know every time.

No, you don't.

Yes, I do. I never have.

I just talked to Alex literally like 2, 3 weeks ago. Yeah. And you told him that you're going to sell in 3 years.

Yeah, that's my goal, but I don't, I don't say that like to the public though.

Oh yeah, so the public, you'll—

I mean, to the public it's just like whenever it happens, it happens.

What's the hardest thing that you've learned? What's the hardest thing that you've had to learn running a, a business like this?

I mean, there's a lot of hard things, honestly, uh, because I couldn't imagine like running a business like you're running a business.

Like, it seems so difficult.

It's very hard. Yeah, for sure. You get better at it though, you know, after you make a lot of mistakes, which I definitely have, right? You get better at it and you start making less of them.

Yeah.

What's the hardest thing about watching movies with Taylor on the couch all day?

Picking a new one.

Yeah, that's tough. Although you killed it the other day.

Which one?

Cheaper by the Dozen.

Oh, so good. And it's the— well, it was the second one. It's the one they were on the lake. Oh really? I laughed the other day. It was really bad.

So bad.

Why was it bad?

We had like 3 encounters. Like, we were filming Alex's doc or whatever.

Yeah.

First encounter was actually pretty cool. You missed it. This, this grandpa walks up to us like with a, with a cane, like he's, you know—

I was kidding. I didn't actually think it was bad.

Okay. Well, anyways, this grandpa walks up to us with a cane. He's like hunched over or whatever onto the basketball court, and he's like, can I see the ball? Whatever. I'm like, yeah, sure. And, you know, he starts throwing it, whatever. And then he takes his shirt off. He's completely ripped, just like, like to the teeth, straight 7 years old, just ripped, like doing fucking pull-ups on the hoop. Like, God, crazy.

Like, it was like one of those prank shows.

Yeah, yeah.

Was he filming?

Yeah, he was filming, but you didn't see it because, you know, it was— he had people filming on the outside of the—

was he like a professional athlete in makeup?

No, he wasn't in makeup. That was the crazy part. He was actually 7 years old.

I feel like I've seen this guy.

Yeah.

So what was the— I don't get it. What was the— what's the magnificent part about him?

He's—

that the fact that he is 70 and ripped?

Yeah, I mean, well, no, the fact that he walks up to you and he doesn't look like anything, you know, but he's still 70. Yeah, he's actually 70.

Oh, okay, I'm missing the joke.

So he probably comes up like, he's like, he comes up like all fucked up, like he would never expect.

Honey, can I get the ball? Yeah, and then he takes his shirt off and he can dunk, but he's still 70.

Yeah.

Oh, it's not enough for me.

I don't get it. What, they're still 70 years old?

But if you don't have—

but he's fucking—

but he's ripped, bro.

He doesn't matter. He's— that's 70 years of age that he has.

No, you don't You don't understand, this guy is like, he looks like me at 70.

I saw the picture of him, but I thought he was in makeup to look like he's 70. No, that's the crazy part.

That's a different prank.

That's a different kind of prank. Yeah, he's thinking of a different prank. Anyways, that was the—

I don't get it. Do you understand why I don't get it?

No, I don't understand. Because he's— because— because you're fucking dumb.

Because what's the joke?

Are you serious? Brother, he walks—

there's two types of guys.

Oh, so you're not 70? No way, I still have 70.

There's two types of guys.

But I have abs.

No, the joke is, oh my god, wow, you're actually really strong for 70. That's the joke.

Dave's confusing the Kyrie Irving prank with this.

That's the one I'm thinking of.

Yeah, that's what you're thinking of. That makes sense.

Is Kyrie Irving— is that an old man or a professional basketball player?

He's an old man and the reveal is he's ripped.

The reveal is he's still old.

Yeah.

Okay. But old people tend to be ripped if they take care of themselves.

Not like this guy, dude.

How many ripped old people do you know? You know how hard it is to be ripped at 70?

I just don't think people care about it. But like, you just met the guy that cares.

No, I think it's— I don't know. Why are you hating, bro?

I'm just telling people that work out.

You're a fucking asshole.

It's like, oh man, are you mad you didn't come to the Adam Sandler party? Yes, that's why I'm pissed.

I don't know, I don't get it. He's old. Surprise, he's old.

I don't know.

I don't want to talk to you anymore, dude.

What was the next encounter?

I mean, the next ones were whatever. It was just like this homeless dude walks up to David and smacks the ball out of David's hands. Whatever. Yeah, that was the second encounter. Third encounter.

Let's go back to the first.

What do you want to— what else do you want to know about the first?

How ripped is he?

Let me show you a photo.

I saw the photo.

What was the third encounter?

Was he like a professional NBA player at one point?

Dude, this is exhausting, man. I genuinely don't know what to tell you because I have no idea.

Maybe you got to get out of the house.

Because do you understand why I'm confused?

You're not confused. You're just— you're trying to drive the subject deeper and deeper when, like, in reality, you know exactly what's going on.

Yeah, I know, I know.

Third encounter was these two guys that rolled up on their bikes.

How old were they?

I mean, I'm sorry, what did you say?

I said, how old were they?

A dick. Um, so they were like maybe 22, I don't know. Anyways, these guys rolled up on their bikes like We're filming on the court, clearly. They roll up on their bikes and the guy looks at me, he's like, "Who the fuck is Alex?" And I'm like, "Uh, that guy over there." And he's like, "Well, I think Alex is a pussy." I was like, "Okay." It was like straight— I was like, it felt like a video game. I was like, "Is this a prank?" Yeah, Venice Beach is a weird place. Very weird.

Yeah, it's rough down there.

Very strange.

It's really scary. It's like Hollywood Boulevard but on the beach.

Mm. Yeah, you get that beach crazy. It's a different kind of crazy. It's like they've been out in the sun.

How's your relationship with your girlfriend?

Pretty good.

It's great.

She just got into college?

Yeah, she got into the number 2 school in the nation.

So, I mean, I guess—

Number 2 business school.

Wow.

Yeah, she got into Northwestern.

Why are you stroking your cock right now?

I'm just so turned on.

Um, why, uh, question.

You love education, huh?

Does it— wait, where is the school located?

Chicago. But she also got into UCLA. So—

Oh, what do you think she's gonna choose?

Yeah, I mean, I think she's gonna choose UCLA, but you know.

She's— she just got into colleges. She's 17.

She's 16.

Oh, wait, is this for like a different degree?

For MBA, for her master's.

She's in the NBA.

Yes. She plays on the Clippers.

She's with that guy.

She plays with the 70-year-old guy.

Yeah, she is the 70-year-old guy. Okay.

Oh, there you go.

That makes sense.

That's your girlfriend.

Yeah.

Okay, wait, wait, wait.

So, yeah, she's going to have to make a decision. I think that she's going to make the right one, but, you know, we'll see.

Wait, whoa, this is interesting. What's the right one? What do you mean?

Well, I mean, UCLA, obviously, you know. I mean, look, if she goes to Northwestern, we'll figure it out, you know. Like, I know you'll be really happy if she goes to Northwestern.

Why would I be really happy?

Because I'll be more free then.

Really?

What do you mean, really, brother?

I don't think— I've never actually—

David pays for her school.

I've never looked at your girlfriend ever as like taking time away from— I think that's just you. Do you think so? There's a chance you'll be doing long distance.

Yeah, possibly. I mean, a low chance, but it's possible.

Long distance is the worst. You ever done it?

No, but I'm like, okay, so you want her to go to UCLA?

Yeah, of course. Of course.

Used to have a friend that did long distance. I lived with him. He's my roommate.

Okay, well, don't say this in front of Ellie. He's probably— there's a good chance he's about to do it.

No, but this girl was just like this disembodied head that lived with us for like 2 years, 3 years.

Just because you like would hear her?

Yeah, it's just like we're going to— we're like going to a meeting. It's like, hey guys, like, guys, say hi to Ashley. And then it was like, it's really fucking weird.

Yeah, we'll be able to do long distance.

Yeah, I mean, look, we'll figure it out.

Okay, that's twice now you've said that. And what—

that's what I mean. It— yeah, we will figure it out.

Would you do long distance, Dave? No, you wouldn't do it.

I really gotta go, guys. I'm sorry.

Okay, go.

Interesting you're leaving during this. Yeah, the conversation.

Listen, I really hope you guys enjoy the rest of the podcast. We will. And wear a condom, please, because I know what you guys do when I leave.

Oh shit, it's out.

Really?

Yeah, I know what you guys fucking do.

John told you?

Yeah. Did we keep something in the pod that you heard?

Oh, I've heard a lot. I've heard not only the podcast but also in your room.

What do I do with Jay after you leave? After all the guests leave the pod, what do me and Jay do?

You play.

We'll play Uno.

You're gonna fuck each other?

Yeah.

I'm not fucking Jay.

Oh, are you? Promise? You being deadass? You're not fucking Jay? Say deadass I'm not fucking Jay.

No, okay, go, go.

All right, there goes Ilya.

Dude, imagine if I was fucking Jay and I just got away with that joke.

There goes Ilya.

Wait, bring John in.

What size shoe do you think he has?

Ilya?

Yeah.

I know what size shoe it's, and it's— you won't believe me.

Tell me.

9.5.

Yeah?

Yeah.

I just saw it, looked like a 7.

Oh, John's here.

Big P. John!

Whoa, what's up guys?

Swapped Ilya for John. Yeah, pretty good.

From one dumbass to the next. We're just keeping it rolling. So Jay, John and I have been wanting to talk to you. Yeah, last night we played Call of Duty, it was really fun. Yeah, tonight we want to play again. Yeah, but you're having a vision board night at your house.

Yes, yes.

And Alex feels bad about saying no to not going, so Well, you have to not do Call of Duty. Well, this is what happens.

So, I mean, vision boards at 6.

Mike texted in our group chat saying, not going to lie, that was fun last night.

Sure.

Which is very like a flirty text for a bunch of guys that were playing Call of Duty. He texted us at 9 in the morning. So he woke up thinking about what a good time he had playing COD. And then I texted back, when do we play? And then Alex goes, we're doing our vision boards tonight. Hahaha. Maybe be the gayest chat we've ever had.

Yeah.

He said, don't worry, I'll put 100. Don't worry, I'll put 100 streak on it, which means we want to get 100 win streak for Call of Duty.

Okay.

And Mike said, what the fuck are you talking about? Vision boards. And then I go, wait, skip vision boards. And Alex goes, can't do that to Jay. And then Mike goes, he feels bad about the pilot still.

He could totally do that to me.

And then, okay, okay. And then at the same time, that's what's going on. And you have to know, no, no, no. And you have to know this backstory because we had these guys here yesterday. Yesterday. Yeah, to shoot something. And this guy was live streaming at my house. Yeah, for like 8 hours. And which is kind of rude to not ask and to live stream at someone's house. We didn't know until like John or Farrah, somebody found it like 6 hours in that he was just like live streaming at my house. And Mike and Alex were like, who, who invited this guy? I'm like, oh, those are Jay's guys.

That's the last time I, I try to help.

So Jay, this guy was live streaming here.

My guys.

I know it's not a big deal, but this, that So I go, wait, skip vision boards. Alex goes, can't do that to Jay. And then Mike goes, Jay just had the livestreamers over. There are consequences.

That is fake news, Mike.

And then I told Mike and Alex, I'm like, I can just tell him on the podcast that you're not going to go do the vision boards. I'll turn it into a bit. It'll be funny and you're off the hook. So this is me doing it right now. I mean, we could always push it to tomorrow. The vision boards?

Why can't you play at night? Huh? Come to a vision board for an hour and then set up a date.

Natalie, grab the mic, you dumbass.

You don't want to go to vision board?

Talking here as friends.

My bad.

Natalie just looked at me without a mic in her hand and goes, yeah, vision boards are early. You think we're talking here for fun, Natalie?

I thought we were just shooting this shit.

Yeah, we're here to really have a good pod. Yeah, yeah, wait, you don't want to go to vision boards?

Obviously he doesn't want to. I didn't even think you were going.

Can I just ask you, you asked me if you could have it here and I said yes.

I did. And then I like texted you, you didn't text back. So I was like, all right, I will just do it at our house.

But why would you ever think that like you would come over and do anything at my house? You could have fucking 5 donkeys in the living room. When have I ever been like, what are you doing here? Unless you're here to do the pod.

Yeah, that guy was live streaming.

Okay, that was the only time that I was a little nervous. You are really gracious. Wait, you never texted me about that.

I did. It's in the Natalie Dave chat.

Oh, I don't check that chat because it's you guys. You guys asking me to do the pod, so I've muted that forever.

That's crazy. Well, okay, so, but you— but be honest, if I, if I brought it here, would you participate?

Oh yeah, you said Monday night vision boards at David's.

Would you, uh, if you don't want to go, um, who wants to go to vision boards?

I think a lot of people.

I'm really excited. Hey, Natalie. Julia is really excited.

Julia's down, but we also promised Paramount that we were gonna go to the premiere for SpongeBob, but—

oh, but it's at 5 PM, so I'll be there just slightly late. John doing influencer duties. Paramount needs us.

I like John. When John talks about the vlogs, he says like, we now. It's so funny.

It's true. That's part of the we. I love that. That's my favorite part when people work at a store and you ask them for something. Yeah, it's like, uh, like, you don't have it? Do you guys have like nail clippers? I'm not sure if I have that. Like, you own Walmart? I think that's really fun, but that is how you start feeling like when you're working something. Yeah, it does belong to you as a part of you.

Yeah. Um, well, what would be on your vision board?

Um, well, hold on, our vision boards where you have to like put stuff, cut things out of newspaper.

Yes, we got a bunch of magazines, a bunch of scissors.

That's true.

And oh, and we might get Print Street as well.

Damn.

And everyone's gonna sit around and clip the competitor, huh? I mean, Doughbrix.

That's the second time you said that.

I know, you always say that.

Like, well, Prince Street is right here.

No, I know, I actually don't care. You once— I made a Snap story once where like you brought over pizza.

Yeah.

And then I was like, is this really your favorite pizza? Like, as a joke. And you went, nope, Doughbrix is. And then someone responded, it's so sad that Jason has to say that about Doughbrix pizza.

I love Doughbrix. I like it a lot.

No, I know, but like, when have I ever been— I hate that. I hate when people think that like, I like need you guys to support things that I'm doing. I hate that. I hate that. Cause that's actually what turns me away from my own thing.

Well then don't ask me what my favorite pizza is.

I know it was a joke, but when people don't get it, it makes me like feel really icky and weird. I'm like, what the fuck? I was trying to do funny. You think I have like contracts here with my friends that they have to support my Doughbrix pizza endeavors and they're gonna not like other people's pizza? No, but seriously, you can't have Prince Street at your vision board party because it starts the year off wrong.

Um, okay, I'll order Doughbrix tonight.

No, no, it can't get over the hill. It can't get over the hill.

It can't?

No, it can. It gets here just fine.

No, it doesn't. It's hot, dude. I was— I was at Allo yesterday.

It can get over. You don't like— it won't be as hot.

It's not as like good looking.

Yeah, because the fuck— you know what it looks like? I swear you won't get this reference, but I used to go to school at 6 in the morning. Yeah, when Uber drivers or like DoorDash drivers, Postmates drivers carry it, they don't care much about the pizza.

That happens to all pizza.

I understand, but our pizza is very cheesy. So like, okay, let me tell you, when I used to go to school at 6 in the morning, I used to have like really flippy hair, like Justin Bieber hair, and so did Alex. I would wear a hat, Alex wouldn't. So when we get to school, Alex's hair was frozen whichever way he flipped it the second he walked out the door. It was frozen that way. It's exactly what happens to our cheese pizza. So like whichever way the driver is tilting the car the most, or whatever turn he's making the most, all the cheese is like fro— like it looks like it's been like like a giant blew the cheese and then froze it in position.

It coagulates one way and then it hardens in that position.

And that's because of the Laurel Canyon Drive. So I don't recommend having, um—

I'll tell you what, I will order Dobrik's tonight if you come to the vision board party and then do Call of Duty.

We should do the vision party here.

Here? Yeah, if I don't like—

there's just more room.

Okay, there is more.

I don't care, it's if Naveen says okay, I'm fine with that. I, I don't know.

Not— but people like hosting people at their house. You can't just like take that from Jen.

No, our house is small. I mean, obviously I'd much rather do it here.

No, that's not true.

I would.

You would actually rather do it here?

I would, yeah.

Oh, well then yeah, do it here.

How many people are coming?

I think it's like 62. Okay, 62 people.

Yeah, that's gonna be easy.

No, no, I think it's like 8. Um, but my mom's coming.

Is she a part of the—

oh my God, Natalie's mom!

My mom. Natalie's mom wants to come.

She wants to come.

Jen wants to come.

Yeah.

Oh, she'll make the best vision board. Dude, she just crack pipes.

So today I had— Natalie called me to come downstairs, like, whatever.

Look at his entire body language has shifted into what he's going to say next. So you know it's going to be good.

No, it's not that good. But Natalie's mom, like, called me— or not Natalie's mom. Natalie called me to come downstairs, and I checked the cameras to see who's downstairs, as is, because I like to plan out my route, like, who I have to avoid. Usually there's like 10, 15 people in the morning, right? So I check the cameras so I know which way I'm going to go when I get down the stairs and where I go exactly. Guess who was circulating around like a fucking, like a little gremlin? Natalie's mom. She's from the kitchen to the great room to the pool table, everywhere. Yeah, so I was like, I'm gonna wait till, like, I, I'm gonna wait till one, I could figure out her pattern here and where she's going, um, or she walks out the door. So I sit upstairs in the living room, and guess who comes upstairs to the printer? Natalie's mom corners me on the couch. 20-minute conversation.

Shut up. She put a timer.

But like, it was— first she starts talking about how she like pulled her back when we were doing the sledding hill here.

Oh yeah.

And she talks to me how she was out for 4 days.

Yeah.

She was like, she's just talking about all whatever, everything.

Yeah.

And then she's talking about her birthday and then like what gifts she wants. She's like, you don't have to give me a gift, but like you could give me something small.

Shut up.

She's like, ah, yes. It's like, but give me surprises. And it's actually, it's what was most mesmerizing is like that I wasn't really saying much at all, but she's so good at going from one thing to the next.

Oh my God.

Yeah.

Like, just incredible. Like, doesn't even— you don't even have to say anything. You do not have to say anything to your mother. She just keeps— it's like a— it's like a— that's what I imagine Emma Chamberlain's podcast is like.

Yeah.

Like, Emma, like, does— it's the only person I can think of that does a podcast by themselves. Like, someone that has the ability to just keep pivoting constantly.

Topic to topic.

Topic to topic. And I think Emma probably does it 10 times more gracefully.

I don't know.

But it seems to be doing pretty good.

My mom really wants to start a podcast.

She does?

Oh yeah, she talks about it all the time.

She's okay. Jen. Yeah, I don't know, maybe it's just because I know Jen. Maybe it's difficult for me.

Um, that's funny because you like me so much, you know, but you hate her.

But I hate that side of you. You have the Jen side, and when it comes out, it's like, you know how like Harry Potter has part of Voldemort inside him? That is like— that's exactly you. You are a Horcrux for Jen. I mean, there's no easier way to explain it. And there are moments where you just— yeah, it's just like it's unlocked. I could feel it. I could feel like the back of your head turning into like another face.

Well, don't make that side of me come out.

That's just talking in snake. Snake. It's fucking— it's— we're very close to Nally speaking in Parsee or whatever. Parsee.

Yeah, there it is.

That's the word. Parcel tongue. But yeah, so yeah, that's what's been going on. Well, the Avengers Doomsday trailer leaked today.

Yeah, the first one. I think I saw you. I had it on TV.

Yeah, so someone So they sent it to theaters, they sent the trailer. Okay, so Avengers: Doomsday is the next big Avengers movie that's coming out. It's a huge deal in my life. It is the only deal. There's nothing I look forward to more than the Avengers movies. Nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing. I don't care about anything else. I, I, I— there's not a human I care about more. There's not a— like, there's not an object. There's nothing more than I care about these films.

We get it, we get it. Okay, moving on.

Okay, sorry, it's just at the top of my list. And the first trailer got leaked today which is really big because Disney sent out the trailers to the theaters because they're playing before Avatar. But some guy who works at a theater had to play in the theater and recorded the theater screen. And now Disney's scrubbing the internet, which I think is like crazy. Like, why does— why did Disney not release the trailer on YouTube?

Uh-huh.

Like, are you on fucking crack?

Out in the world?

How on earth can you send it to 1,000 theaters in the world and expect no one to leak it? I like— you'd have to have every theater employee sign off their family's bloodline to not leak it. Like, it's so easy.

They wanted only in trail— they wanted only in theaters though, so people have like a reason to go to the movies, right?

Right.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay.

Yeah, yeah. And they're doing this interesting thing. So the first trailer just leaked. I could probably talk about it because I feel like enough people have seen it. People are reviewing the trailer now as if it was just posted by Marvel. That's how many people have seen the leak that people are just like talking about openly. It's— so what I think is going on in this Marvel Cinematic Universe that's really cool— have you seen Endgame?

Yeah.

Okay, so at the end game, at the end of Endgame, Chris Evans goes back as Steve Rogers to be with his wife Peggy, right? That's his whole thing. Remember, he like goes back, he gives up being Captain America just so you can go back in time and live with her, live a happy life. Well, this new trailer shows him in his home with Peggy, and now he has a kid. Oh, so I think what's happening, if I had to guess, is that him going back in time really fucked up the whole universe, multiverse, and now it needs to be set right, or it's set something— it's set too many incursions where now—

what was that word?

Incursions.

Incursions.

Incursions. They use that like when somebody fucks up with like the sacred timeline or when someone messes with the timeline.

Okay.

Um, and I think him going back in time fucked everything.

Okay.

And now, now we're going to see all these new characters at play, and like the multiverse is going to collapse and everything's going to happen at the same time.

Oh wow.

And I think the last like couple years of Marvel have not been so good. And what I think the Russo brothers, who directed Infinity War, and the people who directed Infinity War and Endgame, I think what they're doing— I hope somebody's following along.

I fell asleep.

Yeah, no, this genuinely does feel like— yeah, as I'm talking, I'm like, what am I doing? Sorry, guys. You're getting really deep and really— let me just—

it's too specific.

All right, let me just say the new trailer's out.

I think it's, it's pretty— it's a widely watched.

Okay, let me just say the main point.

I like watching you nerd out.

What I think is happening— well, actually, this may already be confirmed. I don't know if it's— you're doing it again. But it's, it's in— okay, so Infinity War, Endgame happened, and then fucking 3, 4 years of movies have gone by and TV shows. A lot of which people did not like at all. So what it looks like the Russo brothers are doing is they're gonna re-release Endgame in theaters in September of next year with a new post-credits scene. And the new Avengers movie is going to pick up right after Endgame. So anybody that only knows like the original movies can go straight from Endgame to Doomsday. You don't have to watch the last 3, 4 years of movies. So they're like correcting what Marvel has accidentally not done a good job of, and that's like ruining the last 3, 4 years.

They're correcting the timeline in the story, and they're also correcting the timeline in real life.

Yeah, I think it's gonna— it's gonna help if you've seen the other things, but I think they're gonna like make it so like anybody can pick up from Endgame to this next Avengers movie, which is really fucking cool.

I was spying on you the other night at the party you had, and you looked really, really like happy and at home, and you were like— you had a big smile on your face. You had a backpack on.

And oh, I was happy when I had my backpack on, and now he made me take it off because she said I look like a pervert.

Why would a pervert have a backpack?

That's like— I don't know, just like was giving— it was giving a weird vibe.

Why did you have a backpack on in your house?

Because I was filming a TikTok for Harry Jowsey, but he started—

he stopped filming the TikTok, like, when he kept it on. He kept it on for like 40 minutes, and I was like, hey, I think it's time to take the backpack off.

But it like felt safe, you know, like when you have It just looked weird.

I was like, what the fuck is he carrying?

It's like holding a drink in your hand. What do you think I had in the back, dude?

I don't know, something weird.

Fucking sex toys?

It really did. But then I looked over at who you were talking to, and you were talking to Supes. Supes? Yeah, and I was like, oh, I see why he's happy. He's talking about Marvel or some kind of movie, and you guys were in a deep conversation.

Supes knows so much about what's happening.

Who's Supes? Tell everybody.

So Supes, did we ever post a podcast with him?

Yeah, we did.

Did we? Because the audio was fucked.

Oh, maybe we didn't.

No, I don't think we did. So Supes is Matt Ramos, who's like the best, the guy to go to about—

Sure, the ultimate superfan, right?

The ultimate superfan of all. His name's Supes for Superman. The, like, the guy to go to when getting like updates about Marvel. And he's become a close friend now and he's like, he'll come over and he knows everything about the movies just because he like speaks to people that work on them now. Like he's very, very close. And like, like, I don't— he knows not to tell me anything to like spoil it. But it's crazy to talk to him because like you can say something to him and you could just kind of read him and be like, oh wow, so that is happening. Or like, this is happening. But yeah, he's got all the updates about superhero movies and it's really fucking incredible.

Yeah.

So yeah, I was really thrilled to talk to him. That was a really good party just because Supes came.

Do you wish that like your day-to-day life involved more of like what Supes is doing? Like, like just really immerse yourself more, and like that would make you a happier person because you'd be like following your— no, no, it feels like that might be your like one true passion. The way you talk about it, I can't get you to talk about anything else in that way.

Well, I just think, I, I think like, I don't know, I think that maybe sometimes when, when that becomes your job, maybe you lose a little bit of the fun.

For sure. But like, but like what Marvel is, is like, it's incredible. It's incredible. And I've added, I've added this to my list of criteria if I ever want to look for somebody that's to marry, which I don't really care for currently. But, but I think it is— they have to have not seen any of the Marvel movies and they have to be against them because I think they are. Again, they would literally have to be 12, bro. What? Not everyone's seen Marvel movies, you fucking dumb fuck. Actually, like, genuinely, not a lot of people have seen them. Endgame?

Like, all of them?

There's a lot of people that have seen Endgame. No, John, not like out here.

Yeah, I don't think a lot of people watch Marvel that often.

No, more people than have, like, especially girls, more people out here have not seen them than seen them.

Do you want to meet a girl that hasn't seen the films?

100%.

Oh yeah, so why should you rewatch them for the first time? Yeah, yeah, you can do that with your kids too.

There's no bad—

that'll be really— that'll be even cooler.

I'm worried that it won't be as cool.

Oh, of course it will. There's so many movies I watched with the kids.

I mean, I don't know how old you're going to be, 70, when you pop out your first kid.

We showed Wyatt Step Brothers. Best night of my life.

Surprise, this is a comedy though. This is like, uh, this is CGI. I feel like CGI after like 40, 50 years could get weird.

Oh, crazy.

Like it could start looking— it could really take you out. I feel like, yeah, they're gonna be like, what, we're watching it on a TV? It's gonna be like, it was just playing in our minds. Like watching like Power Rangers. Yeah.

You ever see Jaws? Yeah, it's like a robotic shark.

I've actually never seen Jaws.

Really?

It's very good.

Yeah, yeah.

But like the original Jaws is like very obviously like a robot.

But like, okay, listen, what I'm saying about this, right?

Hear the shark.

What I'm saying about Marvel, yeah, is like superheroes don't exist in real life. I've said this before. And like kids watching it, or like people like me who are like, for some reason, mom.

Yeah, she's a hero.

She's a villain. But like, dude, but like kids, like it's— it truly does feel like you're— these people are real. These people are real. Like, yeah, yeah, like That's cool. Tony Stark is a real person. I don't know, I don't want to get into it. I just stopped myself.

Did you start to get aroused?

Yeah, yeah. I don't want to touch myself in front of you guys.

Which, which hero were you thinking about?

I was thinking of Thor.

Yeah, I thought so. I could tell. He is good looking and funny.

I was thinking of Thor being my top.

Yeah, yeah.

Getting railed by him and his hammer.

Who would you— who'd you want to spend the day with if you could spend a day with any of them?

Um, like real life?

Yeah, real life. They're driving in your car, they're like, they're hanging out with you all day, they're playing pickleball.

They're the character?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. And they have the powers.

I'm sorry. Oh, oh wow. Uh, fuck, it's got to be— I guess it's got to be Tony.

Yeah, yeah, I would say. Who would you rather go to dinner with, Tony or Thor?

Tony, for sure. Dinner?

Yeah. Who—

Tony.

Who would you rather— who'd you rather have for the vlog, Tony or Thor?

Tony Gadgets.

Oh, okay. I don't know, Thor's pretty cool. Oh, you're right, they'll be pretty cool in the vlog.

Wait, you're right, because he's— he's got like powers that are not earthly.

Yeah.

Okay, yeah, so probably God. Yeah, probably Thor because he's God.

Who would you want to play Call of Duty with?

Like, Thor could bring down— could you imagine Thor bringing down lightning for the vlog? Hit that tree, guys! I'm with Thor day.

You should just make it—

doesn't know, but Thor's about to throw a lightning bolt right at his head.

I put Thor on my second channel. He calls me. Jay, for $10,000, he calls you.

You get called by Thor. Thor's people call you. Hey, we thought this was going to be on main.

We thought this was in theater. Um, that's pretty good.

Who'd you rather play Call of Duty with? What hero?

Uh, out of the main Avengers?

Yeah, any of them. I don't give a fuck.

Um, well, I, I don't like playing Call of Duty with people that have like regular jobs, so I'd have to probably go with someone like— what, Rocket or Groot? Groot? Yeah, yeah, Rocket would be cool. I think Rocket is the most like video gamey. He's a raccoon in Guardians. Or Star-Lord, because I feel like Star-Lord— any of the Guardians people, yeah, I feel like are very video gamey.

Who would you take dating advice from?

Dating advice?

Yeah, if you had to pick one person to help you find the love of your life.

Oh, Black Widow.

Okay, Black Widow.

Yeah, for sure. Yeah, she's got good dating advice. Yeah, ScarJo, are you kidding me? Like, on and off the court, that's her. She— because she's just like the most tapped in. Or Hawkeye. Hawkeye's like— it seems like the most happily married in the bunch. What about that guy that Doctor Strange. Yeah, but that wouldn't be dating advice. That'd be like going to a psychic. True. Like, you're one in a million. Yeah, this is your one in four.

You're one chance.

He'd point to Natalie. You need to fuck her. You have sex with Natalie.

Destiny.

Your destiny. Could you imagine if, if Doctor Strange opened a portal and he told me that I had to have sex with Natalie and that's the only way I'd ever found love?

Would you ever hire one of the Avengers to stop Natalie's mom from coming over?

You'd have to have like multiple of them.

She is a force to be reckoned with.

Do you have to like genuinely—

someone needs to wrap up these donuts.

I thought Thor would kill himself.

Thor's like, I'm out of here.

She'd fly away.

Let me tell you about my van. Sorry, David.

All right, guys. Well, hot pot. That's all the time we have for today's podcast. Thank you guys for listening. Thank you for everybody that joined us. Ilya, thanks for coming on. Natalie, whatever. Jason, thank you for being here.

Thank you, David.

And we'll see you guys for the next one.