Our First Episode in 3 Years

What's up guys, welcome back to Views. So my guy, I gotta get right into it, guys. I just posted a TikTok saying I'm posting a vlog tomorrow. This comes out after the vlog. I'm really nervous. We'll get into like, hey, the podcast is back, all that mumbo jumbo later.

But I'm here too.

Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, that's Jason. Ilya and Natalie are sitting by Mike's too.

But people were probably just sitting there going, oh, he's doing it without Jason for that first 10 seconds. And, uh, no, no, I'm here.

Spent 2 years waiting for him to just kind of simmer away, and then he—

waiting for Jason to die. That's why we didn't do it for 2 years. Jason's dead.

The podcast is back. I do 4 a week. It's just me talking to myself. More energy than ever. Um, no, sorry, I do— I just posted like a TikTok saying I'm posting a vlog tomorrow. I don't like— I don't like talking about things I'm posting the next day, or like ever hyping anything up even remotely, even letting people know there's anything coming ever. 'Cause I just feel like, I don't know. But now my heart's racing. Now I've actually committed to posting this vlog.

Right.

And I haven't posted, I think it's been what, 2 and a half years, 3 years?

3 years, yeah.

There's time for you to run to Mexico right now and change your identity and go.

True.

Just go, man.

Dude.

Jump a plane.

I feel fucking sick.

Yeah, why?

I don't know, it's just like, I just, this is, this is like so bizarre.

There's so much adrenaline, I feel like.

There's a lot of adrenaline, 'cause like I don't post online a lot. Like I post on, on Snapchat, right? But like posting on TikTok is different because it feels like I'm just like, I'm being like, I'm announcing something.

Uh-huh.

Like Snapchat is like such a part of my routine.

Yeah.

Where I'm just like, yeah, I can't even, I can't even like live or breathe without like posting a snap, right? But Natalie, I swear to God, if you have a fucking cough attack, oh my God, dude, I can't live with her.

What is she smoking again?

No, first of all, oh, Ilya, can you tell her about the fucking fight we had? And we had this huge—

I'm a he, but go ahead. Pronouns not necessary here.

What?

Overseas?

Yeah, we were overseas. We were in Rio Río de Janeiro, right? And she starts coughing.

Yes.

And Natalie's like pretty moody, like normally. I'm glad I'm talking because about this when she's left the room because she's having a cough attack. But she coughed in the car like a lot, like she just did. I'm like, maybe you should stop vaping because like it's probably bad for you. And she goes, what the fuck? What did she say?

I don't know, but she, she just like went off on David.

Yeah, she goes, what the fuck is wrong with you? And like was about— first of all, was about to swing. And, and just like, was about to swing? Yeah, she like ruined the whole filming day because of like her negative attitude. Now can you please You want to come back in here?

I thought you wanted her to leave.

Grab the mic. It's funny, I showed Josh Peck my abs this morning.

Yeah.

And he's like, nice, you lost 9 pounds. He was making a joke because he has like the best transformation ever where he lost like 150 pounds.

Yes, yes.

But like, and then I also like show like Noah. First of all, I feel like it's weird for me to be like showing people my abs.

Like, it is weird, but that is—

but wait, actually expand on that.

It's completely weird. I was watching the— I watched the doc last night with Ferris and I was like, This is really gay.

Wait, what?

Really? I mean, the doc is great, but walking around showing off your abs is gay as hell.

But we didn't do that in our doc. We did it only his vlog.

Here's the reason I did it in my vlog is because like when I get a new car, I'd show it to my friends and get the reactions.

Sure.

Which is already enough bizarre. Like now looking back at it, but like we were like all just so excited on anything. So like if I got a new Tesla, Heath was like salivating at the mouth.

Yeah, so, but isn't that a staple of YouTube? Reaction. That's it. Everybody wants to see that. That's what we all do.

Yeah, you know, and it felt different just because it was my actual physical body, right? And it wasn't like I bought this thing, but it's like, look at me.

Yes, it is. It's very— and it's— and also, it's not you to do that.

That's why—

so that's why it feels weird. If it's one thing for, for like, you know, a buff guy to take off his shirt and be like, I'm buff, but you're not that guy.

He's been a bully to me, at least.

Why are you bullying him? He fucking transformed your body.

Well, we bully each other.

Do you know how fucking pissed I am at this guy? Transforming— you know what it takes? You have to eat boxed meals, turkey rice every day.

Dude, I watched the documentary. You were being an asshole.

When?

You were fucking— he's trying to get you in shape and you're fucking eating Whopper Juniors.

Because I was trying to do it my way.

Why would you do it your way?

You didn't like our artistic angle we were taking?

No, it was funny. Like, it was funny in the doc.

I wanted people— to know that you can do it your way. Wait, is that Burger King's— is that Burger King's motto? Let's have it your way.

You're close though.

Um, but yeah. Oh my God, I'm so nervous. Oh my God, I'm so nervous.

Excellent.

Yes. The thing that I am excited about is like, that kind of alleviates the— like, I really wanted to get Ilia something.

Yeah.

We had a big dilemma when making this video. Like, we obviously went over budget just by traveling, right? Um, and then it got to the point I'm so happy I made this deal with Jimmy for Ilya to get a Lamborghini because I'm like, here's my mindset. Ilya needs to get something at the end of this, like, as like a thank you. But also, I really wanted— I've always wanted to do something for like a group of people, especially like something like the Doughbrik's employees.

Yeah.

And like, we only have so much budget here. Like, we went out of pocket on this thing. A lot of money.

Like, I don't know how much money. How much money?

A lot.

Okay.

Yeah, a lot. Like, like it won't be made back a lot. Oh no, he stepped in for a little bit of it too, which is really nice. Yep. So no, but it was totally worth it because we had the experience of a lifetime. We like, of a lifetime, like genuinely. And we got to, you know, surprise all the employees. But thank God MrBeast stepped in and we had this deal and MrBeast paid for a fucking full Lamborghini. And like, like that's a big deal for me. But for him, it's like so nonchalant, like when he gives it away.

Yeah.

When I pitched the idea to him a couple of months ago, I was like, I first asked his team, I'm like, would he be be offended by this question? He's like, no, he won't be offended.

Right.

And then he's like, but just be prepared that he's gonna say yes. And I pitched it and he goes, yeah, yeah, let's do it. And then I kept overthinking it while he was with me. And I'm like, no, no, it may be too much because like I really believe that I was gonna get into shape. And he's like, dude, I'm gonna get this Lambo if you get in shape no matter what. Like if you don't come and pick it up with Ilya, I'm gonna fucking light it on fire. So he was like so adamant about surprising Ilya with it that it was like really sweet. And it just made like the ending of the video so awesome because it— so I'm tying this back to like it being my body, my body, my this, my this, my this. Like, I didn't want the video to feel too much like that, but like the fact that Ilya can get a gift at the end was, was really sick. And he deserves it because he's fucking absolutely crushed with everybody.

What are you going to do with your Lamborghini?

It gets delivered tonight.

I know. Yeah, it gets— I'm getting it tonight. It's pretty surreal.

Well, this is the better— always wanted a Lamborghini.

No, no, no, no. The better question to ask him is like when I was surprising Heath with a Lambo, there was also a world in which after Heath I could have surprised Ilya with a Lambo, right? So I kind of floated it by him. I was like, would you ever want me to, like, get you a Lambo? Because, like, I knew I had to ask him because I know him well enough where, like, there's a possibility he'd say no. And he used to always say, absolutely not. I would fucking hate it. I need to earn it myself.

Yeah.

And now what's happened?

Well, now you did, but you didn't technically get it for me. Like directly, like it's a little like we kind of like went around that a little bit.

It didn't come out of Dave's pocket. That—

let's come on. Let's be honest here.

Now Dave wants the credit.

Oh, no, that's not what I'm even saying. I'm saying like, even if it was fully blown me.

Yeah.

Getting you a Lambo, that's what I'm trying to say. You would have accepted it.

Of course I would have accepted it.

No, I'm saying, are you happier that MrBeast paid for it and David didn't?

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Really?

Yeah.

How come?

For sure.

Well, I agree that I think getting one from MrBeast is like the coolest thing. My brother got— the last time he was at MrBeast, he got an iPhone.

Yeah.

From him. And now it's like a 4-year-old iPhone or whatever. And I asked him if he wanted like an upgrade for Christmas or something. And he's like, no, no, no, MrBeast gave me this. He's going to be on his fucking iPhone 7 for the next 10 years. It's a really cool gift.

So sick.

It's like winning the lottery because he is like— he's like Wonka. Anyway, let's talk about the fact that the podcast is back. I'm sorry it's been a while.

Yeah, what happened?

It's been 2 years. Genuinely.

Why did it stop?

Well, remember I called you right before and I was like, I don't know where the mic is?

Oh, right, right, right.

And you were looking around your house.

Right, and then I was looking.

And then I found the mic, but the cord was gone.

Right, and then we had cord issues. That's exactly what it was. I remember now. It was the lack of cords. And then you Amazoned it.

The Amazon delivery guy got in a car accident or something.

That's right, Stephen. The Amazon.

No, I don't know. I just wasn't like in a— not to be dramatic, but I just, I wasn't in a place to conversate with Jason. I wasn't in a place to look at him. No, no, no. I just—

it was a bummer. It was a bummer because— but it's great that it's back. I mean, people ask me about it all the time.

I feel really energized now.

Good.

Like, I feel like—

you're different now.

I just have more energy.

Yeah, you have more energy. Even last night you were like, let's do the pod. I'm like, are you sure? And I'm like, okay.

Yeah. Like, I don't do daytime naps. I want to talk. I just like, even if there's nothing to talk about, I think I just like my mouth moving. That reminds me of like, do you pray?

I fucking prayed for this podcast.

It worked. Let's go on a 45-minute religious tangent.

I don't pray. I want to be more religious and more spiritual, but it's tough.

I try to pray every night, but it reminds me of like—

Do you get on your knees and kneel over the bed?

No, I just sit.

Yeah. Where do you sit? On the edge of your bed?

I can't lay down. That's where I draw the line. I'm like, I feel like I should like show like some kind of respect.

Yes.

So I do sit, but I do believe that you could just kind of do it however. I'm sure you could do it in the bath. Like, yeah.

You put your hands together?

I put my hands together.

You do? That's so cute.

You're the only—

Wow. Little Davey.

I've never seen it happen, but he says it does. He is a guy.

I have a list.

Thank you for getting Ilya a Lamborghini.

Yeah, a little light comes out of my hands.

Please watch over Natalie. Please watch over Taylor.

Yeah. No, I like to pray. A little light comes over my head.

Knowing when you pray, you probably get a direct line to God knowing you. You, he'd probably like, yo, what up Dave? God here, how's it going? Listen man, I'm busy, but for you I always have time.

What's new? Just one more Aston Martin.

You got it, bud. How many views you want this video to get? Should we do 10, 20, 30 mil? Hey, fuck Jason Wright.

You're not thinking about doing the podcast, are you? You should keep relaxing.

More pickleball, dude.

No, but I was bringing it up because like I'll be praying. Yeah. And like I've said this before, I think on the pod. I'm already saying things I've said before. Um, but like subconsciously I'll be like, I'll say it like, 'F God,' like in my head. Do you know what I mean? Like, like a third voice will say that in my head and then I'll be like, and then I'll be like, 'Fuck, it's fucking up my prayer.' So like I do have like a level of like, there is bipolar disorder. It's not— no, I'm not saying—

do you have multiple personalities?

No. Do you know, like, like, like when you're like sitting somewhere and you're thinking about like, wow, imagine if I did this right now? Yeah, it's that thought.

Yeah, yeah.

But you're just saying, yeah, it's an intrusive thought. The worst that's happening intrusively while you're praying. Yeah.

Like the devil on your shoulder.

Like if I drove into this crowd of people right now.

Yeah, I think that's crazy that like that can happen. Yeah. Like Taylor is one of the worst drivers of all time. Our Taylor that works with us here. And like, like to the point where like like, you do fear being in her car. And every, every turn she makes feels like she's rolling the dice, and she's just like, that fucking Family Guy meme, good luck, good luck, uh, good luck everybody, I turn now. It's like, it's literally that. Good luck everybody else, I turn now. It's so good. It's literally that meme. Um, but like, I can't wrap my head around it. Like, if there was another Taylor next to her in traffic It's a collision. And how does that not happen, knock on wood, more often? She has crashed two of the cars we've gifted her. Did we get her the third, or did she get that one on her own?

No, she got that one on her own. She got that one on her own.

Remember?

There's so many cars.

I don't know. Oh no, it wasn't. It was— Your car. She crashed the first one. We got her another one. And then I let her use the Model X, and first week she uses it, she brings it back like shredded on the side. Just on the entire side, it's just like, It looks like, have you ever seen Grease when they're racing on that underpass and the guy has that thing on that rim that goes, that cuts it? It looks like she was in the fucking movie and a car like sideswiped her. And I'm like, what the fuck happened? And she's like, that wasn't me. And no one uses that car. So I check back the cameras and it's like just the funniest thing. It's her pulling out, car looks beautiful. And then 2 hours later, her pulling in, the entire fucking side of the car snaps. So yeah, that surprises me that that doesn't happen more often. But thank God. That doesn't.

What are you gonna do now? The vlog is out, the doc is out. What's up? What's up for the rest of the year? You gonna travel again?

Oh no, I'm done with traveling.

You're done?

I was just gonna— I wanted to focus on this pod. Just kind of give my— I'm not kidding. I'm not fucking with you. I don't know why you think I'm kidding. You think I'm like coming into this podcast like— you think I just fucking threw it? You think I just threw it at you just because I was just like, I need a bit for the vlog.

Yes, I do.

No, no, that's not what it was.

Okay, okay, cool.

No, I genuinely wanted to do it.

Oh, that's good.

And it just so happened that then I was like, Also vlog. Let's combine it.

Okay. I got you.

Like, I'm being honest. All right. Oh, but that brings me to another point why I don't like making vlogs.

Yeah.

Is because sometimes it'll get to the point where, like, it feels like you're checking things off in a vlog. Like, you're like, I need a car surprise. And then you're looking around and you're like, well, we've given cars to everybody.

We've run out.

Which we actually can't— this was a problem that we had this vlog. We were like, who do we, who do we get a car for? Natalie raises her hand and Natalie's like, well, actually, we haven't gotten one for my mom. So immediately, knee-jerk reaction is I gotta get myself out of this. I'm not fronting a car for Natalie's mother in any world. Um, so I'm like, yes, that's amazing, Natalie! Get her— you should get her a car, right? It means so much that it's coming from you, right? So, so Natalie pulled the trigger on it and got her mom a car, which Which this is actually, this may be a moment that's vlog aside, you were gonna do this regardless 'cause she needed her car.

Yeah, we were already talking about it and then I knew exactly what car she wanted because we were, she just wanted me to like help her buy the car, you know? And she was gonna put like some of her money towards it. But of course the whole time I'm like, I'm just gonna get it for you, you know, in my head, not to her. And so we like went to Vernon Hills, did this whole thing.

Well, she wanted a Bronco and Allie was deciding between like a regular Bronco, like the newer ones, and a beautiful baby blue.

Limited edition.

Limited edition, like sport edition, like not sport edition, leather interior, like the best edition, whatever the best edition is.

That's so pretty.

The perfect Bronco. And it was like an extra $30,000. Yeah. $30,000. And I'm like, Nat, you're only gonna get your car, you're only gonna get your mom a car once. So like go for the high-end purchase.

And yeah, like who wouldn't like the best Bronco that you can get?

So you went $30,000 above.

Guess what? My mother.

Yeah. Jen did not like, I've never seen a car reaction like this.

Okay. Saying she didn't like it.

Stop it. Stop it. No defending. It looked like we wrote it. Like, it did not feel real. It was the most cliché, like, sweet 16 gone wrong response to a car I've ever seen in my entire life. She literally said these exact words. She's like, you know I wanted the black one. It was fucking mind-blowing. Were you there?

No, but I saw the video.

Yeah, it was like John and Al and we were all there. It was— we know Jen.

Yeah.

So it didn't come off like craziness. We were just like, yep, fucking nail on the head. Go, girl. Like, we're like, hell yeah. I was like, this is why I pulled out of this 3 months ago. It was really funny. But Natalie's like, you cannot put this in, which I agree. I wanted to put it in with the Show Me What I'm Looking For music under it. Show me what I'm looking for. This is the wrong color. What I'm looking for.

Yeah, but that's— she didn't understand that she was being filmed, probably. No, no, she definitely knew. She fucking hates us.

No, she—

I mean, not everybody gives a good reaction. We've had that. We went out and there was times where you gave people some money and they were just confused. You remember that?

This is why I don't like doing it anymore, is because of what you just said. Yeah. Is like, not everybody gives a good reaction, is because like, people are so— my first car surprise I've ever been worried about was yours.

Yeah.

Because you were so on the inside of like making the vlogs, right, that you understood like how cool a great reaction is to have. And that's not something you like say out loud, like that's just something like—

because like, yeah, but you got me the coolest car I could ever imagine. So that was like—

when you say that out loud, genuine, like it sounds— it sounds like— it sounds— it doesn't sound right to be like, it'd be nice to get a good reaction. Like you never say that out loud, but you always hope for it.

Sure.

And with you, I was like, fuck, he's on the inside. I really I really hope he can just like calm down and like not— and not overdo it just because he knows how excited that that gets me.

Right.

And you did it perfectly. You were like, you made the joke. You're like, it's about fucking time. I was like, that's amazing. Like, you like, that's so good.

That's funny.

And like, I always worry that like I'll get somebody something and they're like either overdoing it just for— that's why I don't like doing it anymore because now there is this like now people have seen it so many times. One, people expect it. Two, they're like— it's almost not even like they're excited. It's like, oh my God, now you have a chore of like reacting. Yeah, like I gotta pay this car off by being excited for the next 30 seconds. And like, I don't like doing that to people anymore, so that kind of stresses me out.

It's funny when people get things— like I tried to surprise Joe with Mark Wahlberg once, and, uh, I brought him in. Mark Wahlberg was doing like a tequila signing or something, and Joe just went, I met him last week, I take his class at F45 in Hey, it's really difficult.

It's tough to surprise people. Yeah, also like just like doing YouTube for the amount of time we did. Mm-hmm.

Get me a car, man. I'll be excited.

Really? Yeah. I mean, you'll be too excited and I'll be like, he's fucking full of shit.

No, no, no, no. If somebody gets you something, I mean, you're excited. I will say though, I will say when you surprised me with the podcast, I fucking cried. What are you talking about?

That was desperation.

But, but, but still, that, that gesture was—

that was all you had left.

No, that's not true. That gesture meant so much. To me. You know it did. You know how much it meant to me. I'm kidding, I'm kidding. You hate getting a compliment. You can't take— I don't know if it's me. Can you— does he have that with you?

I'm not really complimenting him very often.

But he can't take a thank you or a compliment. No, we all do it. We all pitch in. Everybody helps each other. That's what you always do. Also, if we're going to keep working together, Natalie, you got to take your tone up. I can't hear shit. I can't hear anything you say.

The only thing I hear from this fucking bitch is her coughing.

Do you have trouble hearing her?

Yes, do you?

Do you know how many times we'll be in the car and you'll have to say something and David has to translate?

Yeah.

He'll be like, she said— I'm very soft-spoken. That's okay. I understand that and I like that about you. I like that you're soft-spoken, but I'm fucking 80 years old and I can't hear you, girl.

I hate to keep making this about me, but can you pay me those compliments that you said I wasn't so good at receiving and I will receive them right now?

I just like—

What do you mean? What do you mean I don't take compliments?

I've tried a few times to say— 'Um, thank you,' and you're always just like, 'No, we all do it, and, and it's okay, and, and you don't have to thank me. It's Natalie's idea,' you know? And it's like, it's okay. As you continue— I watched your doc last night, and it's like, 'Oh, he's really growing up.' And I was like— and as you said something really great in the doc, you're like, 'Well,' he's like, 'It's not the best version of myself, but it's like the best for right now.' And then later on the line— and that's so true, like You're—

you—

it's so much with age too. Like, you know, it's really the gap between the three of us, or between me and the two of you. It's like, it's when you get— when you're 28, like, I couldn't see shit. I couldn't see the future at all.

And maybe you guys can, but like, you know, I mean, you definitely think you can. I think you actually think you can. I think at 28 is actually when you start to realize that it's kind of up in the air. Yeah. But I remember— fuck, first podcast I'm bringing up my old relationship. I remember my first relationship I had, you were always so cynical about it. You're like, "Ah, it won't last." I'm sorry about that. No, no, no, no. And I know you were—

And I loved her.

And I know you were kidding, but like, I was like, "This guy has no idea.

He's so stupid." Right.

But like, I don't know, maybe if I've just turned into you just by like hanging out with you, or maybe that is the truth. Maybe like, Maybe it's like— no, it is the truth. Like, anything happens in life. Life throws curveballs at you. Like, right, there's ups, there's downs. And yeah, you do realize that when you get older, I think.

Yeah, but thank you. I'm really appreciative of the podcast. And like, fuck you, we all do it.

And there's also something exciting for me. I've always been anti-video, and I'm like really excited about it being— this is just so much more comfortable.

It loses—

Right now, Jason and I are in a bathtub. Yeah. And we could barely— my feet are right by his ears. His feet are by my ears.

9 or 10 rubber duckies around us.

No, it just feels better.

Matt, can you turn around, please? Thanks.

It feels better, like, on audio. Because I remember also when we went to video, it felt like the audience was like, oh, this isn't how I imagined it. It feels like when you, like, read a book and then you watch the movie. Yeah. And you've, like, had a completely different perspective of it. Yeah. And like, I think it's cool that like the audience can imagine us doing this naked or in New York or in the Alps or like, I don't know, I'd rather just hear our voices and there's no commitment to watching on video. And I just feel so much more relaxed that I'm— I don't feel the need to be on like— I flipped off Natalie 3 times during this entire podcast and no one will ever know. No one will know my little microaggressions because it's hidden behind—

Well, maybe you can. Maybe you can stop that. Stop flipping her off.

Yeah, yeah. No, I've been nicer to Natalie recently. Really?

Yeah, because I think you just yelled at her for coughing about 10 minutes ago.

She moved in recently. Yes, to finish the vlog. Yeah, um, that's the real reason.

We can finally say it. I feel like we've made up 8 million reasons why Natalie moved in.

Yeah, my dad, my dad 1,000% thought we were fucking.

Really?

Yeah, during Christmas time he was like, uh, why is Natalie staying with you? And I'm like, uh, well, because we're working on the video. And he's like, please tell me the truth. And I'm like, I said, I was like, you really think we're having sex? I said that. And he goes, I don't know, just be honest. And yeah, that— what?

But if you had to have sex with Natalie, what situation would you have to? If someone had a gun to Ilya's head.

Like $100 grand. Yeah, obviously.

Okay, if someone had a gun, if for $100— wait, $100 grand?

Dude, I'm so cheap with that money. Like, people like give me sex for—

you would not have sex with Natalie for $100 grand cash?

Fuck yeah, I would.

Really?

Hell yeah, multiple times.

Okay, well, how much we have to pay you?

I don't know if I—

what am I getting out of this?

Hang on, I'm not talking to you right now.

No, how much would you— Natty would need at least a mil.

Yeah, I would say like—

all right, maybe I'm being—

that's like, I mean, that's like a pretty relationship change situation.

It depends who's offering us $100 grand. Like, if it's like Celsius— uh-huh. Well, do you remember that? Do you remember that? Oh my God, did we ever talk about this on the podcast?

What?

I don't know. When our friend John— Corinna. Remember Corinna offered me and Illya for a video, a sex video on OnlyFans? No, we never— oh my God, we must have never talked about this. Corinna offered me and Illya like $100 grand.

Yes.

For me to jerk Illya off. Do you remember the story now? Just split?

Vaguely, vaguely.

We were just having like, would you rather conversations. Yeah. And then Corinna made one and I was like, you actually have the money to do that. And she's like, oh yeah, fine, I'll actually do it. And I was like, no fucking way. And I was the guy that was going to jerk Illya off. Like Ilya wasn't gonna jerk me off. And I'm like, you know what, like, let's do it. So I went up and I got the lube, and oh my God, and I came down to the movie room, and I was like, I can't do it, I'm out, I'm out, I'm out.

You really got that far?

For sure.

That's so funny. But to be published?

No. Oh my God, to be published for Honor? Are you fucking nuts? I don't know.

Should we do something like, something wild to get people to watch this first episode, to listen to this first episode?

Are you trying to get Give me the jerk you up? Guys, I brought Ilya into the room. Obviously you know why you're here.

Yes, I do. 75 day transformation.

No, not that. I'm talking about Corinna and Corinna giving us the offer for me to jerk you off in the room.

Oh, that's fucking amazing.

And how well, how you build on it.

Yeah.

Wait, you build on it. You just said. You just said Dave build.

He was down. Really?

Because. So initially we were both down. Explain what was going on.

Well, first off, I don't remember how much the offer was. It was like 400 300 grand?

Oh my God, it was! It was!

Oh my God, you guys didn't do it?

Oh, it was insane! Yes, it was! Because I remember I told him it was fucking 75 grand each.

Oh no, no, it was like— I think—

oh, now people are gonna think we're idiots listening to this podcast. Oh fuck. So how— so, okay, so that makes sense. It was like 250.

That's insane. And you didn't do it?

What do you mean that's insane? That's like a scarring experience.

How is it scarring if we're both like—

what do you mean if we're both—

first of all, you were initially down.

I mean, yeah, The money seemed appealing, but then I was like, I'm not fucking gay. So then I didn't do it.

$250 apiece.

I think you are a little gay, like lowkey. I feel like for like even like wanting to do it a little bit, I think you are a little gay.

Anyone's a little gay.

Fucking lot of gay.

Who gives a fuck?

No, no, guys, I feel like if you ask the majority of people, they will not do that for $250,000.

Every jerk off your best friend.

Let's not fucking exaggerate. It's not $250,000. It's $200,000.

Yeah. Listening to the pod, would you, would you jerk off your best friend for $200,000 to $250,000 each? I think I can't wait to get the DMs. This is what I miss about the pod. It's like when we have these stupid fucking stories and someone's like, dude, you should have fucking blew Ilya for that much. I fucking love living with my friends, dude. Holy shit. Yeah, it is so cool.

It's nice. You— well, they're, they're special.

How cool is my bedroom setup upstairs? I have one room that's on my like wing of the house, which is really cool.

You just jump from real people to your bedroom setup. Like I was about to compliment Alex and John. I'm getting to them.

Yeah.

Okay.

I'm just—

but I just wanna stop by my big bed.

Well, Right now I'm talking about the West Wing of the house. I see, I see. So no, no, no, no, but like, I, like, I just think I have 3 best friends, excluding Natalie, but she's not a guy, so she's like not part of like the boys, right? So it wouldn't make sense.

Yeah.

Um, but the boys have 3 bedrooms right across from me. How amazing is it? I only have 4 bedrooms upstairs and it's perfect. It's like a little fucking fairy tale.

But you said something the other day, you were like, man, I'm like, I could just rent this house out, go back and move to Vernon Hills with my friends. And as long as I have my friends— and I thought there was something in there that I was like, well, wait a minute, they're gonna get probably married and have kids. And yeah, how long can you do that? You know, it's a community I'm building. Oh, I see.

Well, here's the thing. My buddy Mike from Chicago found a nice area. It has 40 acres in Chicago. And Mike's like, I'll buy a half an acre from you. And I'm like, great. Oh wow. And we would just put all our I mean, it very much feels like a cult. I don't think we are.

It sounds like I'm describing a cult.

The deeper I get into this.

And sure, I'm gonna have sex with everyone's wife.

Obviously, that's how you pay for rent. Yeah, bring me your wife.

But more importantly, we all get to hang out. Yeah, 40 acres sounds good. I mean, you can get into planting.

Yeah, I just—

Farming.

No, I don't think that situation would ever happen.

Right.

But I do like the idea I teeter back and forth of moving back to my hometown, and then I also have this like, like thing in my mind. I'm like, well, I already have a house in LA and I have friends in my hometown, so why don't I just visit my friends for like a longer time, right, and come back to LA and like get work done or whatever that needs to be done here. But I also have a part of me that wants to move back to my hometown full-time, like teach a class. I really want to teach social media in my old high school. I don't know if that's an elective.

Do they have that right now? No, because you would, you would bump that person right out. Hey Gary, we've got bad news. Your job is on the line, Brad. We have somebody a little bit more experienced in social media. Oh, fucking who? I have 16,000 followers on Facebook.

That'd be really fun. And like having like, because I could set up the semester really fun.

Yeah.

And like I can build it like starting off and like getting going. Cancelled. You know? Like, I could really break up the semester into like bits and pieces and like really teach you all about it. Oh my God, that'd be so fun.

Teaching us. Are there social media classes in high school?

You know what's funny is like my sister and her friends are in like social media marketing classes and like things about David have been brought up in their classes.

Right.

The class looks around because they know that my sister is sitting there and knows that, you know, she's a part of this whole universe.

Yes, like I definitely—

All right, class, take a look at this piece of shit. What were the highlights from the trip? What was it like seeing the world?

The Seven Wonders trip was the— it was a trip that I'll never ever forget, and it's kind of ruined traveling for me. Yeah, cuz I'm just like, I just feel like I've got so much in, yeah, in such a little time, in that month and a half.

What do you mean it's ruined traveling? You've seen everything.

I know I haven't seen everything, yeah, but I feel like everything else is a mixture. Like, now I can now I've seen enough where I can add one place to another place and make the place I haven't been to yet. Do you know what I mean? Like, I've seen the blue waters, I've seen the crazy views of Mount— I know, I know it's like super— what do you call it? Like, uh, narrow-minded? Yeah, it's very narrow-minded. Something like along the lines of that, of me to say like I've seen everything. Okay. But like, I feel like I've seen enough where I'm like, I could literally fucking die and I'll be in heaven.

And I mean, you've definitely seen a lot more than the average.

Yeah, I like that so much, where I'm like so content, where like now I value just like being at home. I just like, I like taking my naps. I like my routine. I just like being at home. Yeah.

Now he doesn't want to go anywhere ever. It's, and I'm like, I have the travel bug.

Yeah. Everyone's like, wants to travel. I'm like, I'm done. I can't do it. But I'm so grateful I got to do that.

Favorite place you went to?

Well, this brings me to my next thing is my favorite place, probably like Rio de Janeiro. Yeah. Um, we loved it there.

Really?

Yeah. But our, my favorite place, my favorite trip that I took this year, and I don't say this to be funny, to be different, to be whatever. Yeah. Was my high school reunion.

Oh yeah, yeah, you told me about that.

It was— I expected— I've been waiting for my high school reunion since, like, the day after I graduated high school.

Like 70. Everybody was just in the best spirits. Everybody was happy to see everybody. You know what I was worried about? I was worried about somebody being like, "How's LA?" Like hitting me with one of those. But like, I forget that like, these are my people.

Yes.

And like, when I was there, it was like, oh my God, like, this is the stone I feel like I'm carved from. Like, like I always say, I owe everything to where I grew up from and the people I was with.

Right.

And like, and like, it made me realize I'm like, oh yeah, these people, they don't say stuff like that because they don't suck. Because I actually like, I love them. Like, these are like, this is my identity. It is like, I'm like, like looking in like fragmented mirrors of myself. Like, it's like, like I can look at this person and be like, ah, like the jokes you're making remind me of like why I do this, or the way you talk is why I do this.

Like, yeah, every—

like everybody I feel like I like took so many lessons from.

Yeah.

And like I pulled so much from their personality or just the way they like talk about things.

Was there anybody that you like didn't get along with back then that you saw you really got along with?

No, there was nobody in our grade that I didn't get along with.

Okay.

Like, it— like, like, I was very— like, I wasn't a popular kid, but I was like— I was flowing around everywhere. Like, I, I— like, I'm a guy who fucking loved high school.

Yes, I remember. I remember. We've covered it on the—

we covered it a lot.

Yeah. Um, head of the cheering squad.

But it was— it was amazing. So, so we were— everybody was just like down to have a good time. Nobody— nobody mentioned anything about like about work or any— nobody was like—

yeah, nobody cares. Yeah, yeah. And you find that refreshing, I bet.

And it's not even like, I want to be a regular person. And the thing we got to do that was thanks to my career, which was, which was a little bit different, was after our reunion, which was set at like a bar— it wasn't at our school, it was like a bar that they rented out for like 2-3 hours. Oh, by the way, there was like 50 people coming to the reunion. Yeah, until the guy who was organizing it, Jake, came over and he told me that only 50 people were coming, and then me and Jake literally got on the phone and just started calling people. You gotta fucking show up at this reunion. It's gonna be fun.

That's really fun.

Yeah.

Tell me what they said when you called. Um, give me an example.

I was surprised about that too, because I thought it would like turn off a lot of people. Yeah. But they're like, okay, fine. Like it was, yeah, it was just like me convincing like Ilya to go to the bar and him finally agreeing.

Yes, yes, yes.

So like we got like probably additional 10 to 20 people to come.

Everybody from our high school too lives like within 5 miles of where the reunion was. It wasn't like they were having fly in and stuff.

Like, it's—

everyone's still pretty proximal to where our hometown is.

They're like, David really needs— Jake calls him up after, like, David really needs this, please, please show up.

And then, but the, the great part that we got to do, that was, that, that was, you know, thanks to what I do, is, um, we got to take everyone to like a nightclub where we got like bottle service and—

oh, so fun.

It was signs, signs, the royal treatment.

They come out with the, the sparklers.

Yeah, but the sign like said Class of 2023 40.

Go Cougars!

Go Cougars! Whatever. Like, it was fucking amazing with my high school friends. Like, like, I'm very much used to going out clubbing, getting signs, whatever. Sure, that's amazing. I get to do that. But like, to do it with like the people that like I am— that I most respect— yeah, was like fucking amazing. I can't tell you how good this fucking trip was. I can rave about it all day. I mean, I left with like the biggest smile on my face. Ilya didn't want to go.

Why not?

And he didn't go because Ilya has this big complex. Even John has this thing like, I'm not successful, I can't go. Oh, and like, and like, I guess I can't speak on it because I've been lucky that I've done well, so I do view it differently. But I, but I also know that I've been eyeing this reunion well before I had any success. Yes, like I just love seeing people. Like even in high school, I had no success, but I would still visit middle school So like, whether I was dirt poor or rich, I was going to this fucking high school reunion is what I'm trying to say. So I kind of don't understand why Ilya didn't want to go, and he just refused to go. John, who we convinced to go to Chicago, John's like, I'm not going to the reunion. And then he— when we went to the bar, he walked with us, dropped us off at the bar, and went to a bar by himself with his girlfriend.

No way.

And then we called him when we were going to the club, and because I told everyone at the reunion, like, yeah, John Castro, he's a fucking pussy, didn't want to come. And everyone's like, what the fuck? They start calling John. John showed up to the club realizing that like, no one gives a fuck about what you do at your high school reunion. No one fucking cares.

Right.

Like, that just was like, that was the last thing people were worried about. They just wanted to have fun. They were so excited to see people from their past, and that's what made it the best fuck— I want a fucking high school reunion every year. I think it should happen.

I love that you went to 7 continents and all you can rave about is the high school reunion. That's like the thing that you're most excited about.

It is really crazy. But other than that, thank you for getting me in shape. Shape. Do you want him to say anything about how difficult or how easy it was or how great I am to work with? Out of all the people that you've transformed, would you say I was the toughest? Like, what— I, I think it's like, I think there's easy things about me and there's hard things.

Yeah, well, everyone's different, right? So, right, okay, just a pain in the ass in general, but, um, overall, like, you were a great sport about it.

Oh, okay, this is my biggest hiccup of this whole transformation. This is what wasn't in the But like, we came back from the trip and my DEXA scan showed better results. And then that month I was like, I'm fucking locking in. So I started to eat less and I started to do like 1,700 calories or 1,700— yeah, calories every day of cardio. I was like, I'm so fucking locked in. And then that month, the next month after me doing that mostly every day, I'd have some off days where I wouldn't do that cardio. Video, probably like 4, 4 times a week. I would do that 4 or 5 times. And then we got the results back and I lost like, what, 6 pounds of muscle? Yeah, it was horrible.

Like, because he was burning too much.

What's that, like an hour on the treadmill?

No, I was playing paddle for like 2 hours.

Oh, paddle.

Okay. Um, and it was like, I— my entire like world was like, what the fuck? Because like in my head I was like, the more you work out, the less you eat, the better you look. Yeah, period. And then that's when— that was the moment where I was like, okay, Ilia, like, teach me how to do this. Where— because I was like, there must be some method to this now. And it's, it's more than just like less and more of this. It's, it's more of like there's an equation.

You were grateful to Ilia.

Yeah, that's where—

and you love Ilia.

That's where he changed around. I love Ilia. I'm like— I, like I said before, I jerk him off for any price. That's how much I love the guy.

Uh, wait, this is crazy. You guys are doing this.

What do you mean?

The podcast.

Yeah. Did you feel like it? What did you feel about this conversation? Was it too gross or was it just nail on the head about what we were talking about before?

The jerking off?

Yeah.

No, it was great.

I think it's right back in the pocket. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I think we crushed it. Yeah, I did too. I've been so excited for this.

Good. Well, you had a good attitude.

I needed 2 years to just like fucking take a little break. I'm excited to do this all the time because I yap so much now.

Now.

Actually, I think this podcast I yapped more than ever. Like, I just kept going.

Yeah, you're—

yeah, you're a yapper. You're good though. You're yapping a lot, which is good. You have to always be like that.

No, no, but I want to— I want to have you talk too.

Um, I talked. Yeah, we had a whole section. That's the part you wanted to cut out.

But guys, that's all the time we have for today's podcast. Thank you guys for listening. Please If you go do anything, obviously go support Jason however you can. And, uh, Ilya just relaunched his Zeela app. Go through what I went through. I think you owe it to yourself. It's the new year. Start the new year off, get the New Year's resolution going. Try the 75-day challenge. I'm telling you, you're going to see results and you're gonna thank yourself later. And at the end of it, it's gonna be very easy for you to make a decision cuz you're gonna know, you're gonna be like, I'm gonna do this for the rest of my life, or you're never gonna do it. But at least for 75 days, try it. Download the app, do the program.

Winner gets a brand new Tesla.

Oh shit, I didn't even know that. What does that mean?

Yeah, well, so the winner of the 75 Days Challenge, whoever has the best results physically—

that's what we took the pictures for, right? Okay, right.

Um, they get a 2025 brand new Tesla.

So you've downloaded the app now, do the challenge, one of you will win a Tesla, which actually probably the best odds that you can possibly have for winning a Tesla from us? Because like, there's a lot of people— it's difficult to commit to 75-day challenges.

So sign up starts on the 7th when we launch, and then sign up for the challenge ends on the 14th of January.

Okay.

But if you sign up after the 14th, you can still obviously participate in the challenge.

Okay, that's enough.

You just can't—

you have one week from—

you have one week from today.

Lock in, motherfuckers.

Sign up.

Let me say this, like, if you're listening to this this. I think I say this in the doc. I don't know if they put it in, but like, time is going to move on with or without you. Yeah. And like, the way I always saw it was, I'm— it's the beginning of January right now.

Yeah.

There will be another January to come. That January will happen. That year will go by. And it's just up to me right now if I make a decision. Am I going to be fit when that time comes, or will I be the same? And that's all you have to do.

Yeah. I think—

amen. And one thing to add about the food is there was somebody, some fitness guy told me this about food, and it really helped me change the perspective, which I think is kind of, kind of bizarre because I fucking love food, but this made it easier for me to consume. He said he looks at food as fuel rather than pleasure. And like, once I, once I changed my mind to that, like, I'm just using this as fuel and not like something to like just indulge in, it was so easy to keep going, and I felt like a little fucking NASCAR. Refueling with my taco rice.

I think it's awesome. You're gonna, you're gonna inspire a lot of people.

You want to know what's like super interesting about the relationship that David and I have?

Sure.

Is that I said that exact same— he wouldn't, but yeah, I said that exact same fucking thing to him. Yeah, yeah, yeah, like probably a few months before, you know, and he just brushed it off. And then he heard someone else saying, he's like, oh my God, that's the best thing I ever heard.

It's bullshit, Jay. All right guys, that's all the time we have for today's podcast. Thank you to Jason, Natalie, Ilya for helping with this. Thank you guys for watching the video. See you guys later. Bye!