Missing Out On $5 Million

What's up, guys? Welcome back to Views.

One more time. I kind of burped.

Oh my God. I thought it was a fart.

Is it true that if you pull your butt cheeks apart, you don't smell the fart or you don't hear the fart?

If you pull the butt cheeks apart?

Yeah.

Yeah, I think so.

If you pull them apart, you don't hear the fart.

Yes. Is that true?

Of course.

Yeah, because it doesn't vibrate.

Are you fucking serious?

Do you want to go try it out?

No.

Then it's literally just air passing through. Air doesn't make sound, is it?

No, because, like, Zane, when he farts, he'll spread his legs out. And he'll be spreading his ass cheeks, but it'll still make some solid sound.

But he's not spreading his ass cheeks. He's just spreading his legs.

Did you just fart or did you burp?

Moral of the story, I just burped. I'm really sorry.

Whatever. Let's just roll the intro music. Guys, welcome back to the podcast. I'm David. That's my friend Jason. Natalie's here. Carly's here. There's a bunch of people here. Natalie, I want to start by saying this. Dude, I've been trying to get Natalie to like come out of her room like 5 times a day.

Yeah, you said that she sneaks off in there.

She fucking leaves and she goes, give me 5 minutes, and she'll literally leave for an hour and a half. Okay, Natalie, admit that you do this.

Like sometimes, because I really have to get stuff done and you just suck me in with all like your stuff, then I have to do stuff independently.

My stuff is your stuff.

I know, but like sometimes you just make me sit there and do things like I'm just literally watching your screen over your shoulder. I'm not actually like— I know, which is doing something in part, but like there's so many other important things I need to prioritize.

Okay, well regardless, the other day I was like, Natalie, what are you doing? And, and I think she was pooping.

Okay.

And really?

Are you serious right now? What are you doing?

But this isn't the story. But I was like, Natalie, what are you doing? And Natalie's mom came out and she goes, I think she's pooping.

Oh my God. Oh my God.

And then a couple hours later, like 8 hours later, I go, Natalie! And then I go turn around, his mom, I'm like, is she pooping again? And she goes, well, I've actually been wanting to talk to you about this. She told me to not say when she— oh my God, she goes, I've been trying— I want to talk to you about this. She told me not to tell you.

Why would she say I need to talk to you about this after I told her to literally shut her mouth?

Yeah, she told me, she goes, she goes, hey, um, I can't tell you anymore when Allie's pooping, so I'm just gonna pretend like she's changing right now. And I'm like, but she's pooping, isn't she? And she goes, yes, she is. Oh my God, your mother outed you out, and you pooped twice in one day.

I don't think I did. Honestly, sometimes I just go in there because I know you can't come in.

Oh, I'm going to start coming in there.

No, I used to do that when I was married. I used to just go sit in the bathroom.

You used to just really?

That's dark.

You used to just poop?

Because I knew, like, that's what this is. You couldn't knock on the door.

I always thought the bathroom's such an interesting place because when I used to, like, sit at dinner with my parents or whatever and like, like they would be— they'd get so mad. They'd be like, fucking stay here until everybody's fucking done eating. But when I said I had to use the bathroom, or like I had to pee or something, no one would ever look at me. Yeah, like in an evil way. Everyone was like, yeah, that's normal, go for it, get out of here, go pee. It was so weird. Like they would try everything to keep me at the table, but then when I go, can I use the bathroom, they go, okay, go for it. Like it's like the bathroom's like the safety spot where everyone's agreed that like it is like your, like your dojo. Yeah, like no one's allowed to enter it.

And like it's like it's your dojo, it's your dojo, you know.

Yeah, I gotta go to the bathroom right now, actually.

Oh, you can't go. I'll follow you in there with the podcast equipment. What happened with your son?

Oh, I was, um, he's had this project to do since Christmas and he hasn't been doing it, and that was one of the reasons why he got grounded or whatever. And so then finally Sunday night, he— all Sunday, all day, he was working on this song for school. And Marty was like, you gotta go talk to him. Like, he's been in there for like 6 hours and he comes out and he says it's not right, and, uh, and you gotta go talk to him. I was like, okay, okay. So I go talk to him, I'm like It was like 9:30. I'm like, you got to get this done. You got to, you got to get this done. I said, no one cares. No one fucking cares.

You said that?

Yeah, I said no one cares if it's perfect. All it has to be is 3 minutes about whatever book you're reading. That's it. And even Charlie, my daughter, was like, Wyatt, you could have just written 6 paragraphs and been done with this 3 weeks ago. Yeah, he's like, no, no, no, I got to make this song. I got to make this song. So I'm like, all right, so put it, get it, get it done, put it on the thumb drive, and that's it. Go to sleep. 10 o'clock. I don't care if it's done or not. He's like, okay, okay, okay. Then as I was leaving, I was like, what's the song about? And he goes, oh, the Holocaust. Like that. And I was like, oh my God, no. Yeah. So then I went home and I went to sleep. And then at 11:30 at night, he's like, he sent me the lyrics and the song. And I'm like, it's dark in my bed. So this is what I hear.

This is him singing the Holocaust song.

Yeah. This is for his school project.

What the fuck?

Oh my God, you've been licking David's face right now.

Okay, hold on.

Really heavy.

It's actually pretty good. It's pretty good.

It's like the Arctic Monkeys.

If the Twenty One Pilots came out with this, they got away with writing a Holocaust song.

But we've been yelling at him for weeks.

Wait, that was really good.

Pretty good, right?

Wait, wait, I can't believe David likes your son now.

Okay, here we go, hold on.

Wait, is this Wyatt's voice?

Yeah. Oh wow. What the fuck?

It's 5 minutes and 37 seconds, by the way.

Okay, I won't play anymore.

Could have been—

wait, what the fuck?

You know, you're yelling at a kid to do—

oh, they got me working like a slave. Oh, the number on my arms, my only name. Oh, I'm tired of this thing. I'ma stand up, but I'm just another Jew ready for cleanup. What the hell's going on here, dog?

It's not like it was a music class. He could have written a paper.

That was ridiculous. Yeah, that's— I don't know if I should— if you should call somebody or, uh, you should be proud.

Rather to be scared or impressed?

Yeah, I don't know. I don't know how to read. If my son showed showed up with this, I'd be like, okay.

My mom and I were like scared by it. We were like, whoa, like this is kind of heavy.

Imagine he performs it for you on a computer, or on like, like on a piano. He's just bawling his eyes out. You're just like, you're 11, you weren't there, how the fuck are you even feeling all these things? That, that was— I don't know, I don't know what to think of that. I mean, that was great, it's very impressive.

Yeah, I know, he did a good job.

God, I'm looking at Jason's text messages to his son right now and there's literally just like scrolling a novel of just heart emojis. You have to scroll through.

Let me see.

Let me read your text.

I have no one in my life, so I'm jealous.

Let me read them. Let me read these texts. Give me the phone. I'll find them. Jason left him a voice message. Then his son said, thank you so much, miss you, good night, love you. Then Jason said, go to bed, love you too, see you tomorrow, congrats, you're on your way, I love the way you sing, so many things about the song, I'll tell you tomorrow, we'll go through it.

Are these all separate messages?

These are all separate messages, and they all have— they all have 17 heart emojis in between them.

Shut up.

No, I'm being serious.

Do you ever think you're just a little—

Look at this. Look at this. I mean, you can't see it on the podcast, but they don't even speak in English. They just send each other hearts.

David's mom is here crying.

She's never had a relationship like this. Hey, you have 3 more kids. Don't fuck those up.

Toby might be a good candidate.

Did you ever write a song for school, David?

No.

Have you ever written a song?

Yeah, I probably fucked around with GarageBand. Or like with lyrics?

Yeah. Even for fun, like a funny song or—

Oh, no, I don't think so.

Never?

No.

That was a pretty deep song, man. That really got me out of the mood out of this podcast.

I'm sorry, but good for him. Yeah, it was a lot. It was a lot for me to get at 11:00 at night and it kept me up. I was like lying in my bed like, oh my God, wait, was the project about the Holocaust or was it just write a song about anything? No, it was about the book The Night. Okay. So he had to read the Holocaust. Yeah. You know who's a fun— you know, as a fun singer is Natalie.

Yeah, Natalie loves this.

I love what she sings.

I love singing. Should I sing us all a ballad right now?

Yeah, yeah, sure.

I really love to sing.

Oh my God, I fucking hate you.

Wait, that was so genuine. Like, yeah, the way she said it, she was like, wait, I really love to sing. I do too.

I'm like, I really love singing.

Are you good at it actually?

No, not at all.

Like, if you're by yourself in the car, you're like, oh, I suck. Are you like—

well, I think I sound great, but I, I actually don't.

Have you ever recorded yourself singing and then you listen, you're like, damn it, 100%?

I like— I'll sing to that. Like, I'll have the music on in the car and I'll sing to it. I'll be like, okay, I actually kind of think I this one. And so I'll like put my— turn on my voice memos and I'll record my voice.

Same thing. Wait, really? Yeah.

And then I'll turn the music down and should we pull up my voice memos?

So if I sing— wait, you have—

wait, you've done that before?

I do it often. I, I'm telling you, I genuinely love singing.

Oh shit, I didn't know this was serious.

Let's get her in the booth with Charlie Puth.

Oh wait, you record yourself in your voice memos singing and then you listen to it?

Like for like— it's like a 20-second part of the song, cuz then I realize—

so you'll listen to a song and you'll be singing along, you're like, wow, I really got this chorus down.

Like, I do that too.

Like, it feels like I'm hitting these harmonies.

You've never recorded yourself to see if you sounded good?

Never.

That's what I thought. Literally everybody did that.

What?

Yeah.

When we sang the other night, there was like a couple Instagram stories where we did karaoke and I went to look at it and the next day I listened to it like 10 times, this one story, just to hear if I was like in key at all.

Did you sound good?

I mean, no.

I recorded with Charlie once. I got in the studio and he let me—

tell me that—

and he let me sing a little bit and then I heard my voice back. But that was the only time, like, I was— it was horrible. But what he does is he'll, like, layer my voice so he'll make it actually sound good.

Really? Yeah.

Sick.

Oh, how do we do that?

Wait, well, Natalie, play an album. Natalie, play us a voice memo. I'm so confused.

Let me see if I have one.

I'm a survivor. I'm not gonna take it. She plays the wrong voice memo. It's just her crying about her job. And then he told me Okay, my mom told him I pooped. My mom told him my shit twice a day, and I told her to cover my ass, no pun intended.

It's labeled Castle on the Hill, so I think it's Ed Sheeran.

Wow, you fucking label your songs?

That's a title song to sing.

You're a freak.

I didn't know you label them. No auto-tune.

Castle on the Hill, 7 PM, just had brunch. I think this is the one. In parentheses, show this one to the agent first. Hey, what the fuck?

Oh my God, go, go play it. No, play it for all of us here at the same time and hold the mic up to it. Wait, let me— wait, let me hold it because you're gonna— you're gonna pull it away.

Natalie, you're literally so brave. Okay, I could never do this.

Okay, here it is. This is— this is Castle on the Hill.

Turn the volume all the way up. Make sure it's all the way up.

Okay, this one's a 13-second one right here. Okay, here we go.

This is really brutal.

This is Castle on the Hill. I like the accent.

My English accent.

Castle. Not the castle. That castle.

That's fucking crazy.

Okay, don't listen to more because I don't know what's on there.

I want this to be my ringtone. Natalie's calling. Come on, that's funny.

You should have Aaron walk down the aisle to that.

That's crazy.

What else is there besides that?

Let me see about my nose.

That's it. No, give me— Is there a better—

So you just, you just sang one line from the song and recorded yourself?

I'm—

I don't know what I was doing. It was 2017, Jason. I was a whole— you know, I don't know what I was doing.

She was wilding out.

Oh, I thought you did this last week.

No, that one was not last week.

So our friend Todd kind of has like a crush on Natalie. We don't really know what's going on, but he texts Natalie late at night like all these things like, I miss you, I can't wait to hang out with you, stuff like that. And the texts kind of just pile up and it's pretty embarrassing when he sees them in the morning. So what we did is we took the texts and we put them on a billboard next to a picture of him and we surprised him with the billboard and he actually took it pretty well. I think he was kind of happy about just being on a billboard in general.

Yeah, I thought it was funny.

He thought it was funny, which I was surprised about. And then, and then there was like some news places that picked up the story. Yeah, Fox 5 picked it up from like D.C. and it was like, and there was— here I have a clip. One of the women was talking about it. This is her talking about the billboard.

All right, a YouTuber printed out his friend's drunken inappropriate texts and put it up on a billboard. David Dobrik setting up his friend Tati Smith, all in an effort to teach him a lesson. Smith had been texting thirsty things to Dobrik's assistant when he was drunk, like, can we please cuddle tomorrow? And you break my heart. So Dobrik printed them out, put them on a Hollywood billboard along with Smith's picture, and then revealed his friend on camera. Now, Dobrik is known for calling out his friends in public ways, uh, but is this a little too public?

And that's, you know, he's doing it for— all right, the only reason I don't like it is because it's staged and contrived. And that's, you know, he's doing it for clicks for his YouTube page. And that to me is just—

I'm done.

Bye.

Yeah, I just— yeah, all those, those YouTube people, which, look, it's, it's very lucrative. I mean, there's some YouTube artists, or I watch a lot of makeup tutorials, they make a lot.

Oh my God, money.

Jeffree Star flies on his own private planes, he has his own business. So I don't want to knock anyone's hustle, but when it's these types that just want the self— real self-promotion and just like you said, more clicks, like it's not— they're not really enriching the community.

What I'm curious is, is did this assistant— did she feel— did she, you know, did she feel offended by this?

Was she okay? Well, we have her right here.

It literally—

reporting live on site.

Now, half of that, the second half of that felt like aliens. Were talking about, like YouTube, like just the way they approached it just made no sense to me.

Yeah.

Like how they're like, oh, they're just doing it for clicks, which is already so weird from a new— for a news station to be saying because they're a news station and the whole thing is based on clicks, which isn't really even what the videos are about. Like they're videos just like any episodic series would be. They're episodes. And this one has like— this one had the funny button of the billboard and it made no sense what she said. And just listening to it, like, was so, so, so incredibly confusing to me.

Yeah, she got confused too because she said he's doing it for promotion. Was she talking about you or Todd? And she got totally mixed up in what she was saying. But Natalie, were you offended?

Um, no, not at all.

No, I bought the fucking billboard.

Yeah, I definitely encouraged it.

That's ridiculous.

Yeah, they do that. They're the ones— they do the same thing, but it's not even the same thing. They're—

they do stuff for clicks. Like, it's like the whole thing is just so— it's such an out-of-touch way to look at anything, right? The way she went about it, I was so confused. Tesla stock was at an all-time high the other day. Great, great news. I remember, I remember the podcast. I used to talk about my Tesla stock because I bought $1 million of it for fun. Not for fun, but I wanted to see— like, I wanted to buy more so I could make money quicker, but I panicked. Because the day after I bought it, it dropped and I lost like $80,000.

Right.

So then I waited for it to come back up. And the second it was where I bought it at, I sold it. So I only made about $6,000, which is horrible because I put down a million. So there's a lot to lose. And then the day after I sold it, it actually went up like $80,000. So I would have made $80,000 if I held it for another day. Right. But recently, Tesla stock has gone up so much that if I held on to it, or better yet, if I bought it a couple of months ago in June, I think if I bought it and I bought $1 million worth of Tesla stock and I sold it 2 days ago, I would have made a total of $4.8 million.

Wow. So if you held on to it for 2 years, isn't that fuck—

what?

So if you'd held on it for 2 years.

No, if you held on to it for— I told you, since June. If I bought Tesla stock in June, right? And then I sold it, I would've made $4.8 million.

Oh wow. Yeah, that's nuts. Why'd you sell it? Why didn't you hold onto it?

I got scared. It went, it's gone up that much. It's Tesla stock is fucking crazy. And, and I sold it and I only made $6,000, but whatever.

Oh, I know. But the interesting thing that you said was, um, I said to David, I go, well, why didn't you tell us all to buy it? You know, like even put in like $25,000 or put in a small amount. And you made a really good point, which was, when it, when it got to—

when it got— even if Jason said like, why didn't you tell me to buy in June? I was like, okay, I tell you to buy it in June, and then if it went up— it went up $2,000, you would have sold. Yeah, there's no way you would have held on to it for this long where— and you would have sold at the exact right moment where you would have made $4 million. That's how I look at it. But that, that is— it's crazy to think about that it's gone up that much. And it's crazy that like, I don't play the stock game at all because The second I put in $1 million into stock, like, that's all— that's all I was thinking about. My mind was consumed with the thought of this stock. Like, I would check it literally every, every 2 minutes. I would be checking the stock, which is ridiculous. I have investments, but nothing as like aggressive as $1 million on Tesla. But yeah, but it's crazy that that's like some people's life. Like, it's their lives. Like, they live by that. Like, how the stocks are doing. It's an interesting game.

Well, we went to the movies last night, didn't we, Dave?

It was a tough decision. It was tough to get everybody out of the house.

David likes to get everybody riled up and go to a place called iPic. That's his favorite place in the world.

It's the best.

But unfortunately, David doesn't know how to pick movies.

Yeah, okay, I may have picked a movie that wasn't up to par, but I prefaced it with, hey guys, I only want to go to iPic because they have really good buffalo spring rolls. I don't really care about the movie. After I eat the spring rolls, I'm down to leave.

It's $32 a ticket.

Very expensive.

Plus, plus the food.

Yes, the food.

It's super expensive, but this is like me treating myself. Like, this is me going like— like, this is like me going to steak dinner. Like, that's how I love iPic. Okay, so yeah, we got there, we ate. Movie wasn't too good.

No, was not.

Yeah, so we got up and left right after the—

and we don't need to say what movie it was. What we do need to say is you need to reevaluate what a good movie is, because once again, you fucked us all.

Oh yeah, it was so funny because— because we got up to leave the movie theater and Jason didn't come with us there. He met us there, but I didn't know he made it. So I left.

That's what I was really mad about.

And as I was leaving the parking garage, I get a text from Jason. Yo, did you leave? And as we're all in the car, all 8 of us are in the car, and I'm like, yeah, we're heading out. Were you there? And he was like, yeah, I was sitting right fucking behind you.

Am I watching this shit by myself right now? The movie, this awful movie that you made me go see. Also, it's at 10:45 at night is when you want to go.

Yeah. And you always ask me— Jason went into the bathroom to send me voice notes. He's like, I'm in the bathroom right now. You have fucking lost all movie privileges. You are never deciding what movie we're seeing ever again. As I'm, you know, 40 minutes away, already halfway to my house, I felt bad.

Yeah, I was fine.

Last night, Natalie and I went to like an Oscars type of party for the agency that I'm with. Right when we walk in, there was this kid there and he was like, oh yeah, he was very, very nervous to meet me. And I don't know, I honestly thought it was a prank because the way he came up to me, he was like, Hi. Oh my God. Like, it was like he was like shaking, like out of a movie person who really, really likes somebody. Yeah.

Yeah.

Like, yeah, he was a little bit dorky and he's like, how are you? Hi. And he was very nervous as he was talking. And at the end of the conversation, he turns to Natalie and he goes, oh, and this is you and this is your husband. As he's pointing to Natalie, I was like, no, she's my assistant. What? Yeah, he was so nervous. He called Natalie my husband.

What was he?

I don't know, he must have been like 14.

Yeah, he was.

He was 14 or 15.

What'd you say?

And I— we just laughed and I was like, wow, I went from assistant to I self-proclaimed myself partner and now I'm his husband.

Really funny.

I'm really going places.

But I had a suit and tie on though, right?

No, not at all. I had a dress on, like my hair was down and curled, makeup fully done.

Yeah, I was trying to be the most beautiful woman I could possibly be. Oh, look at this man you're with. Who's this handsome gentleman? This must be your husband.

It's the worst thing he could say.

Yeah, it is. Then there was Adam Sandler was there. And as you know, I'm a big fan here. So I had my friend introduce me to him. I never know what to say to these people, but like, it just fucking clicked as soon as I shook his hand. I was like, click, no pun intended. I was like, I love 50 First Dates.

Yeah.

And, and he goes, what? Oh, he like laughed. He was like, really? Like, because I think he just, he just got done filming Uncut Gems. Yeah. Which is like a life-changing role for him. So I think it was pretty like out of character for, or pretty out of context for someone to to come and be like, 50 First Dates is my favorite, right? Especially at this Oscar party where everyone's like analyzing like their, you know, their incredible acting and stuff. Um, yes, I told him, I was like, yeah, my friend and I had an argument about it on our podcast for 35 minutes about whether or not it was the best movie of all time.

And what did he say?

He just laughed. Yeah.

Do you think it was the best movie of all time?

I should have asked him.

Should have asked him. Fuck.

Do you think it was the best movie of all time? What if he was like, I do, I do, I do, I'm really glad that you, you see the same way.

That's great.

All right, guys, my mom is here. She doesn't want to be on the podcast, but she's sitting right next to me. So I'm going to— I'm going to perfectly describe her reactions to things I say. We're going to talk about her for the next 2 minutes.

All right.

I moved out of my parents' house. Let me just first— first of all, say how happy I was. Right now she's kind of smiling, kind of embarrassed. Yeah. I mean, no, I'm happy I moved out for sure. Were my parents good parents?

You know, who's better parent, me or your dad?

Um, that's tough. You guys are both good, but like in your own way, right? Yeah. Like, who would I rather have as a dad? Yeah, probably my dad.

Oh, that's nice.

Yeah, but because, because I would have turned out differently if my dad sent me as many hearts as you send yours. My dad sent me a single emoji as a kid. I would have turned out differently.

Maybe he'd write a beautiful song about the Holocaust.

I don't know if that's what I want my dad doing or that's what I want me doing.

Well, now everyone else is your mom. You know, your mom thinks you're really funny, by the way. People should know that she has this pattern with you where she— you like, if I go visit in Chicago or she comes here, she has this pattern where she's frustrated, frustrated, frustrated, and then she's like also dying laughing.

I know, dude.

And then frustrated.

My parents do this thing where they're like, they're always mad about something and they always like want to talk about something and it never has a resolution ever, ever. They'll just like, they'll be like, we need to talk to you and then I'll sit down and, and then the first 10 minutes of the conversation will be about why I never sit down and conversate with them. So they're already wasting their time there. And then, and then, and then she'll start talking about something like, you need to take more time. And like, my dad always talks about meditation. That's something he brings up all the time. He goes, are you finding time for yourself? And like, it makes me want to blow my fucking brains out.

Yeah.

Like, like my mom will go like, you need to go see a therapist. And I'm never more stressed out or just like just angry than when I am around them. That is the most stress that comes. She said I never said it today. You literally said— she's saying that she's never said that I need to see a therapist. You've said it multiple times. You made me get on the phone with a therapist. I mean, listen, if I was to go back and change like my parents' parenting methods, I wouldn't, right? Because sure, because then I would be somewhere totally different now. But do I think it like— do I think it works the best way? Probably not. Probably not. Our friend Jonas here, he's a big fan of Nathan Fielder. Nathan Fielder has a show called Nathan for You, and I don't know where it airs, but it's a really funny show. He's a really funny central Hulu, Comedy Central. Bottom line, it's funny and Jonah's a big fan. And we were at the movies one day and we were walking into the theater and Nathan Fielder is coming out and he's walking home. He just saw a movie. It's pretty late. It's like 9:00. He's going home. And Jonah goes, oh my God, that's fucking Nathan Fielder. And I go, yeah, that is. And then I don't think I even had time to react.

Sure.

But, but all of a sudden Jonah goes, oh, yo, I'm gonna go pitch my movie. I'm gonna go pitch my movie. And I go, no, no, you fucking idiot. And then he goes, no, this is the chance. This is the time for me to go do it. And, and I was like, okay. And Jonah fucking runs. And Nathan Fielder's walking down the, like, the steps. It's like a long staircase. And he stops him right in the middle of the staircase. And he goes, hey, can I tell you about my movie? And, and at this point I walked away. And I knew they were talking for like— they were talking for like a solid 2 minutes. What did you tell him?

I started stuttering really, really bad.

No, what did you say? Be honest.

I walked up to him and I pitched him an idea.

You pitched him an idea? Well, for what?

It was a movie idea.

It was a fucking movie idea. And the thing is, Jonah hasn't finished this movie yet, but he's like working on this movie in his head.

No, I have.

And what did he say?

Huh?

No.

Yeah.

What did—

what— how do you respond?

I asked him how I can get in contact with him, and he said he doesn't want to.

Did he really just say I don't want to?

I don't remember what it was, but he said he's not interested, right?

Yeah, it's the worst place to find somebody. Yeah, I was like—

I melted, dude. I really did.

And Jonah came back and he's like, I pitched him my movie. And I was like, you did fucking what? Like, that's the one thing you're not supposed to do in LA is go up to a celebrity and pitch them a movie. Like, that's crazy. And he was like, what? What did I do wrong? What did I do wrong? And we were just like— we thought he was kidding. We thought he was fucking with us. We're like, you're fucking with us, right, Jonah? He goes, no, no, no. Why should I have not done that? I was like, no. And this isn't the first time Jonah's done something like that. Jonah's a huge fan of Judd Apatow, like huge. And Jonah found out that Judd Apatow was handing out like hot dogs in Indiana, like at Indiana University. Yeah, he was— Judd Apatow was like handing him out, maybe like for a promo for some movie. And Jonah calls me frantically like his fucking mother's been kidnapped, and, and he goes, yo, Judd Apatow right now, he's handing out hot dogs, he's in Indiana. Do you think there's any chance if I get on a flight right now with him, I could get him for 5 minutes when I get there? And I go, probably not. And he goes, you don't think if I get on a flight right now, I could talk to him for 5 minutes and pitch him an idea? It could literally fucking change my life. And I was like, first of all, Jonah, I don't think Judd Apatow has ever been further away from you than this moment of him being in Indiana. The dude lives in LA, maybe 20 minutes away from you. So I don't know why it's when he's in Indiana all of a sudden you have the urge to fly and meet him there. It made no sense. And then second of all, definitely don't go up to him in any circumstance and pitch him a fucking movie.

I would never do that again. I would never, 'cause I don't know. I was just so silly. I don't know why.

That was crazy. It's like the— it's like people hate that. People hate that.

No, I know, I understand. I— yeah, I would— I would do— I melted.

Like, with the Nathan Fielder one, you were really nervous, but it was kind of cute because it was like, like an endearing— like, he really liked him, but he just kind of fucked up.

I've met Nathan Fielder, and I, I feel like, uh, he would like you.

No, he didn't like me.

Nathan Fielder? No, he would like you. He would like you. He would like you if you didn't come up to him and pitch him a movie.

Yeah, that's all.

Like, if he got to know you, because you're really funny. Yeah, but like, that just wasn't the right—

you were funny.

It wasn't the right circumstance. Good news is he probably won't remember that situation because it happens to him so much, so often, where someone comes up to him and puts him in a movie.

Looking back at it, after we left, I got in my car and a tear fell down my cheek, and I'm like, oh man. I'm like, it's okay, it's okay, you'll forget about it. Like, I was so embarrassed for months after that. I don't know why I was so embarrassed. It was weird.

You're fine. It's a—

I couldn't like— I couldn't like forget about it.

Now people come up to you and ask you if you can be in their movie, right?

I've been pitched a few times. Yeah, not even kidding. I have. But like, it's such a stupid thing for me to do. It was so dumb of me. I couldn't forget about it for months after that because I felt so embarrassed of myself, so ashamed of myself. But I'm like, whatever, dude.

Jody used to be really different when he— when we first started hanging out with him, he would be like, fucking you guys doing YouTube and your dumbass thumbnails. And he used to shit on YouTubers all the time.

No, I did.

Because, you know, you wanted to be a serious actor or a funny actor.

I mean, especially nowadays in this industry, it's not going to it's not going to work out as— I don't know. No, it'll work out. Like, traditional acting is so dead almost. We're like, I'd rather create my own shit on, on like traditional acting online platforms. No, no, it's— it like, think about it, dude. Think about TV shows and shit back in the day.

Poor DiCaprio, just out of a job.

Well, he's right. There's less of it.

There's less of it.

Yeah, it's not that, but there's less of it.

But there's more TV shows. David, you know what? Jonah's given you so much humor over the years. Why don't you throw him 3 compliments right now on the podcast and let them feel good.

No, no, these are good. I can, I can give you comments. I miss you a lot when you're not around.

Yeah, we were in New York.

Yeah.

Oh my God, he made Natalie and I feel like shit because every 5 minutes she goes, wish Jonah was here, wish Jonah was here. Finally Natalie was like, hey, what the hell, we're here.

Natalie was pissed that I was bringing you up so much.

Really?

I actually think you're really funny and I think you're perfect for like New York because it's like so out of your element that it's just any situation. Like, every time we like drove by like a shop or like a restaurant or like a donut store, I would be like, man, I'd just be imagining like you sitting next to me.

And we're just like, we're smiling, feeding each other sprinkle cupcakes.

My favorite is when you make, when you, my favorite, you make the same joke with, with whatever situation we're in. Like, we'll be by the Empire State Building and I'll be like, wow, it's a crazy building. And Jonah will go, imagine I eat it. I do, I do make a lot of eating jokes wherever we are. Like, Like, like we could be like literally standing right by the ocean, like, imagine I swallow all this. And the joke, the joke works for any situation. Yeah, yeah, those are the jokes I miss.

Really funny.

Remember that day I was telling you to leave my house? Yeah, the day I was like pushing you out.

Yeah, I've like, I've caught it so many times where you like try to hide me away from like, yeah, like important people, important people. Yeah, because I like— I don't know. I understand. I don't have a filter sometimes.

Yeah, you're very hit or miss. A person could really love you and you could be the best part, or you could be like the worst part.

Yeah, I know, I know.

Yeah, it's like really hit or miss. You're right. This next segment of the podcast is called Joe's Teeny Weeny Podcast. It's where we give our editor friend 25 seconds to say and do whatever he does in return for editing the podcast. Joe, hit it. You got 25 seconds.

Woo!

What's up, weenies?

Welcome back to another beautiful week here in sunny California. And I flew out one of the hottest guests in Chicago.

We have David's mom.

Fuck.

How are you?

Don't be shy.

I know you wanted to be on the Teeny Weeny for so long.

Yeah, I'm very happy to be here.

How are you?

How was your flight? That's it. Stop. Oh, come on, I have so many questions. That's it. That was amazing. Do you like David more than me? Thank you for— thank you for having my mom on the podcast. She refuses to be on our podcast, but for some reason Joe kind of found a way around that and booked her for a show. So thank you.

How did you manage to book David's mom? That's really incredible.

She's been a big fan of my dog for few months. Okay, so Sad Bobby. Yeah, check Sad Bobby out on Instagram. It's a dog that looks sad.

You know what's really funny? David's mom actually watches all of our stuff. I had a really funny moment with your parents when I was in Chicago. We were sitting there and, uh, you were upstairs, and I just said— I said to both of them, I said, I said, wow, it must be so amazing that— what do you think about David? It was really— I think I was like kind of loopy from flying.

Yeah, who says that?

I know. And then, and then I think, I think Paula said something like Yes, but for how long? But why? But he's too, you know, it was like, I was trying to get him just to be like, yeah, it's amazing, you know, but he was like, no, no, he wouldn't concede. He's like, but we worry about them. And he worries too much about the edit, you know, sometimes it's done because enough, you don't have to keep trying and editing.

Sure.

And then I can't remember what Christina said. She's right here, so I can't make it up. Like I just made up what your dad said. Best part is, after I had that really awkward conversation with David's parents, David came down from upstairs, like wet head, all showered. And he walks in and he goes, yo, Jay, my parents are trying to steal clout from me. He's like, yo, he's trying to take my clout. Look at these two. Dad's sitting in like bike shorts and just like just watching TV.

What's clout? All right guys, well, that's all the time we have for today's podcast. Thank you guys for listening. It's been a Views podcast.

Go check out David's merch, it's how he pays for his house.

Go check out all the merch. Follow us on Twitter, follow us on Instagram. I'm trying to get to 20 million on Instagram, that's my new goal. Um, we'll see you guys later. This has been a Views podcast. My name's Jeff. Bye.