Finding a New Member of the Illuminati

What's up, guys? Welcome back to Views. We pump out 9 of these a day, guys. We're here with Axel Weber, TikTok sensation, TikTok star.

I liked how you were pointing at the cameras.

There's just so many.

Very natural.

That's all we had planned was that intro.

Yeah, we're good.

So now we're just like, now An hour just chilling.

Okay, well, hi. First of all, it's my first time meeting Natalie. Okay, I— for anyone listening, you never like, you know, watch people on YouTube and maybe, you know, you see them on the street or you see them in your hometown, you're like, oh whoa, they were here, right? Now I'm at your fucking house. That is the coolest thing ever. I was freaking out on the way here. I was like, I was asking, I'm, you know, I'm with a talent manager who flew me out here, which is— everything's brand new.

That's a talent manager?

Yes, that's a talent manager.

They look younger than you.

Yeah, the angry looking guy. Yeah. They look like my friends now. They're very business professional guys. I'm sitting there, I'm like, guys, am I sweating? Can you see this? Do you think they'll tell?

Wow. First time in LA?

Yes. Second time. I've come out here in January.

This is the first time on business.

Yeah, this is the first time on business.

Wow. How long have you been doing the social media thing?

Ah, 3 months.

Holy fuck. Okay. For those of you who don't know, Axel's like, I mean, you started on TikTok, right? I wanna get that right. Yeah. And you've just been fucking blowing up. Since? Like, now I think I saw you at like— you were like an ad on something. Did you— were you an ad for anything, or am I crazy?

That's possible. Yeah, I got to shoot an ad like a month ago.

Movie premiere?

Yes, got to go to a movie premiere.

So a full 180.

Yeah, I saw you got lunch the other day.

Oh my God, I don't know. I don't know what's going on, okay? I just— I came to New York in December.

Yeah.

And it was my goal and has been my goal to pursue a career in entertainment. That's always been my goal because it just seems like the most fun thing to do.

Sure.

I remember seeing a video of you doing an interview with your friend Brandon and you're in the car and you're like, my entire life I've just wanted something to work hard at. And people always tell me like, just work hard, just work hard. And you're like, at what?

Oh wow, that's so funny that you resonate with that.

And, and so that stuck with me like my whole life. I've been like, I don't know what the— I don't know what I'm supposed to work hard at. I just know I want to. So I went to New York, I picked up the camera, and things have just gone crazy since.

Oh, that's so sick. And now you have the opportunity to work hard.

Yes, work hard. I mean, if this is considered work, this just feels like fun.

It's supposed to be fun. That's working hard in L.A. If you're having a lot of fun, that means you're working really hard.

We are the hardest workers in the room.

David won't do anything unless it's fun. Yeah, that's how he gets out of a lot of stuff too that we want to do.

Boring. Don't do it.

What do you consider boring?

I don't know. What's like things—

my vlogs, talking to Jason, talking to me, this podcast, anything with Natalie. Now time for our sponsor.

What are some things you've opted out of because it was just boring but were somewhat cool? I feel like also Also, when like, when there's like a brand or a sponsor that like tells you what to do, you know, that's not fun. Oh, that's like, do it your own way. I think they're like kind of turning from that. Like, I think more sponsors are like cool with whatever. Like, it used to be like you read a 20-second ad where you'd like, you're being held hostage. But, um, you work with a lot of brands?

I've worked with a couple, and so far they've like given me full creative control. They're just like, can you just say something about our product? I was like, absolutely. I got to do one with a dating app, Tinder, and I used Tinder as soon as I came to New York. I was like, I gotta meet people, dude. I didn't know anyone.

So you are using Tinder?

Oh yeah, because when I Not anymore. They banned my account.

They did? Why?

Yes, they banned it. Apparently they thought I was impersonating myself.

Even though you're working for the brand? Yeah, they couldn't do it.

No special privileges, man. You— that report button.

Yeah. Okay, that's good. At least you treat it like everybody else. Wait, so, uh, you moved out and you're— because I remember when I moved out to LA, all I would do was Tinder. I mean, like, like, it was like clinical. Like, it was religiously. Yeah, like every night I'd go through all my swipes. And this is, I think, even before, like, you could buy more swipes or even like— so I was just going through like as many swipes as I could. And that's, that's how I met like my first like group of people out here. And then my first like, my first friends that I had here my first year, I don't know anymore. Like that's like the thing about this place that everyone always tells me is like, is like you're going to outlast people that— I don't know how to explain it. Jay, do you know what I'm trying to say?

Sounds like it's heading in a depressing direction. Why don't we continue? No, I'm going.

The one tip I got when I moved to LA was like, make sure you're here at least a year. Like figure it out. Like try just to survive here for an entire year.

That's a good Listen, I say 3.

You say 3. And there's a lot of people that come here and they're like, 6 months in, they get discouraged. And like, my 6 months here fucking sucked. So like, it's like, I think that's— you don't need the advice because you're fucking trailblazing. You're doing your thing. But like, but like, yeah, definitely. Like, if you're doing anything, especially in the entertainment world, like, you got to fucking give it a shot for at least a year. But like, a lot of people would move here and then they disappear. And I haven't seen them since because they moved back to like Arkansas or wherever they're from.

But so you decided to come out to Los Angeles and the way you'd initiate a friend group was Online dating?

Yeah, online dating.

Come on. Wildest Tinder story.

Wildest Tinder story.

You came out.

Okay, I have one. I hooked— I hooked up with a girl on the hood of her car once. Yeah. What? I met her on Tinder and yeah, it was handy. We like pulled over and I know exactly where it was, right by the Hollywood Bowl. But like at the time I didn't know like where the popular spots were in L.A. Yeah. So, so like we pulled over and we're like, this seems like there's no one here.

Was there a concert going on?

Yeah.

Jonas Brothers.

Background back yet? But that, that. But that wasn't wild. That was like, I'm also super vanilla. So, like, hooking up on the hood of a car means, like, we leaned against the hood of the car and like, we're like. It wasn't like fucking full passionate.

Like, I pictured your feet planted on the hood.

No, no, no. Less magical. Honestly, we were just talking. We were talking in front of the car. What's your craziest Tinder story? Other than getting kicked off, did you get to meet with anybody before?

Yes.

Okay.

A 10-mile walk, I'd say.

Like, yeah, 10 miles. Or maybe like within the first 2 minutes.

Does she treat you different now that you're a star?

She doesn't. No, she's—

she's—

I posted a video like a couple weeks ago and she's like, yeah, no, I don't like it that much. I was like, cool, thank you. Keep me grounded.

And then what'd you guys do on your 10-mile walk?

10-mile walk, just talked. Life, family. There was even like some long silences. You ever just had a silence with someone? You're like, this is—

that's the best. When you know you can like sit in silence with somebody, that's how you know you've made it to like a good level. We're not there yet.

You guys are getting along too well. I don't really like this. I think I'm gonna be out of a job.

My new co-host. Yeah. You're not 48 by any chance, are you?

Oh my God, David, talk about your kids, bitch.

Don't complain about your kids.

Hold on, it's my nanny.

He wishes he had a nanny. That would alleviate a lot of stress for us. What were you doing before you were doing social media?

Um, working a regular job.

Where?

I worked in Michigan.

Oh, okay.

As an underwriter, which is like you buy a house and we do the paperwork. Oh, I had a desk, I had a phone.

I thought you were like writing like scripts.

No, no, it was just nothing creative, right?

And what, what has been your dream job before what you do now? Like, what were you like, I wish I could do that? Like an actor? Yes. And who's— I always ask, like, who's a person you could— you wish you could steal their role from the movie and you could play them instead?

Ryan Reynolds in Deadpool.

Yeah, that's a good one.

Yes. I mean, I've always thought, like, for example, there's a lot of really great actors. There's like the artistic actors like Joaquin Phoenix who just— who will do an indie movie if it just feels right. You ever see You Were Never Really Here?

Yeah.

Absolutely terrifying, right? I don't want to watch it twice, but it's an amazing performance. And then there's actors like Reynolds or Dwayne Johnson who are like, I'm the most commercially viable motherfucker you'll ever meet on the planet. Put me in the Super Bowl. Why not? I mean, so if there's a way to combine both of those facets of a future career to be like, you want to go see my movie and you also like, you know what, he's not bad on screen. That's the type of career I'd like to have. Now, same question to you. If you could be in any movie, any movie, any movie, which movie?

But okay, but here's the thing. I know I wouldn't do the movie justice. Like, what movie I would love— like, that's so stupid because I'd love to be Iron Man, but I know I wouldn't do that to the people.

No, I pictured more like Ed Helms in Vacation.

Oh, okay. That's definitely my vibe. Like, yeah, like, or like RV with Robin Williams.

And you would have been good in Ferris Bueller's.

No. Yeah, I don't— I can't act. The only thing I've ever acted in was in his movie, and it didn't hit the box office like we were expecting.

Didn't do what we wanted.

No good dialogue.

It sent us backwards.

We don't know where the movie is.

It's probably a good thing we deleted it.

Honestly, being out— I do have to say it again. Being out here is like so cool. I've watched your videos. For so long and you've made them into not just characters, but they feel like family.

Oh my God.

I know that's like your intention or whatever. That's so— I hope it is because it works super, super fucking well.

Thank you.

What happened with— so you applied to Juilliard?

I did.

And what was that like? Do you have to send in a tape and stuff?

Yeah. Well, I didn't get in.

No, I know you didn't get in. So what happened? You made it.

I always thought Juilliard was dancing. Is it every performance?

It's everything, isn't it?

Oh, it's anything you want in the theatrical arts.

I think so. Yeah. Okay.

So did you do theater as a kid?

I did not. No.

Theater is fucking difficult.

Theater is difficult. You got to sing, dance.

Yeah. Oh, that's singing. I know.

Yeah.

So you made it. You made a tape.

I made a— you have to do— it's an online Zoom call. All you have to do— well, you have to be good at acting.

Okay.

Or anything in general. I was not prepared. That's the reason I didn't get in. I just happened to film myself failing.

Right.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

That's the only difference. I'd still— anyone thinking about going to pursue something like that, I'd be like, why not try? You know, you pay the admission fee, you study your Shakespeare, your contemporary pieces, and try it out.

And what did you have to do to submit? Just the acting tape, or do you have to write something?

It's a live Zoom call.

Wait, what?

Yeah, they don't do them in person anymore because of COVID So you get on the Zoom and there's like 4 people there and they're like, okay, do you act on the Zoom?

What do they ask you? Wait, and how did you get to the Zoom call? Is it just like— it's not like Omegle where you're just like—

no, no, they send you a link and then you log on and then they say, you ready? And you're like, yeah, I've got no choice. You got a little bed sheet in the back, you know?

Yeah. And then what do they ask you to do?

They ask you to just read your Shakespeare, you know?

Get the fuck out. Be serious.

Yeah, swear to God. You know any Shakespeare?

Yeah, that's tough.

That's it?

No, you can't. That can't be just Shakespeare. What is it like?

That's— yeah, they ask you to do your Shakespeare monologue and then you do like a contemporary piece or something like that, and they might ask you to sing.

Wow. Wait, are you being serious about a Shakespeare monologue?

Yes.

It's Juilliard, David. It's the number one acting school in the country.

I understand, for sure. Right. It's cool. But like, I'm still confused.

Well, you've got to prove that you have. But why would a Shakespeare monologue—

Why would a Shakespeare— Because that's like—

that's like if you can do Shakespeare, you can do anything, I think, is what they think.

Like the hardest thing to do.

Yeah.

A lot of weird words.

Oh, okay. Could you do Shakespeare?

No.

Because you do something right now.

I couldn't. It was pretty bad. It's like— it's like one of the lines was, now I lurk in a gossip's bowl.

Oh yeah, that fucking sucks. How would you even do that? Jason had an SNL audition. Did you do Shakespeare there?

Yeah.

Disaster.

Was that— yeah, it was a disaster. But you'd probably do like, uh, the, uh, Iron Man's death scene if you had to.

What would you do if you're wearing a sweatsuit, bro?

Do you have any idea how sweaty my hands get? Do you want to see?

Yeah, sure. How do I see it?

No, I'll give it to you after. Here we go again.

No, no, do it.

No, he's not ready for it. It's gonna make me— it's gonna make him so uncomfortable for the rest of us talking here. He's okay. I think it's gonna make him more comfortable.

Yeah, my belly button's sweating. I don't think we can get much worse.

Okay, Axel's about to feel how sweaty my hands are. Dude, don't freak out. Okay, here we go. What the fuck?

Oh my God, that's incredible.

That means he really— that means he really likes you.

Is that something I could do at Juilliard?

I wouldn't do that to anyone ever if I were you.

It's brutal, isn't it?

Holy shit.

Jason said that means he likes you.

You really like touching a frog?

Yeah.

No, it's like putting your, like, hand inside the intestines of a frog and like dig. It's disgusting while they're in a pond. I'm sorry, but I just—

wow.

The way I get over it is showing people.

Yeah, I think that's incredible. I feel better now.

Yeah. So you probably don't feel as hot anymore.

This is the outfit you chose on TikTok and now it's biting you in the ass.

Yeah, it is. It is. But it looks good though. It's for the brand, I guess.

Got that.

Have you— have you? Yeah.

All right. Well, we have to return it later, so.

Oh, shit.

Come on, guys.

David did that last podcast. Just like David, he did that last podcast. It's funny. Are you returning it?

Yeah, of course. Really?

It's— I mean, if you're gonna fuck— it's really nice though.

Thank you.

But it's like, when can you wear it again? I won't, because people are just gonna assume that it's the same day. Like, oh, he shot this a different day. Or—

yeah, yeah, no, just for this, just for things that people have to film me in.

And how often are you filming stuff? Are you always on your phone, like, recording every— this is a question I get, so I'm just curious. Yeah, you answer it. Like, do you record every moment of your life?

No, I don't. But I have had this mantra for like the last couple months: everything is content.

Yeah.

And like all of a sudden I'm like looking at my morning toast different.

Yeah. Yeah.

I saw you do a TikTok about Raisin Bran.

Yep. So things are really, you know, it's a different type of lifestyle there, Jason.

I was like, yo, this kid's look really—

we're looking at oat flakes and dried raisins.

But that's the best when you can make that out of—

that is true. That is sometimes the best stuff.

Yeah.

Yeah, if you can make Raisin Bran interesting.

So now, now you're right. Yeah.

Yeah.

Now you're definitely at the point where you're like making like you're instead of going right to go home, you're going left because there's something more interesting there for like your video or something, right? Like you're making decisions based on your video sometimes now, or are you still living your life kind of as what you would normally?

I'd say it's definitely a mix of both. Like if I see there's a piano on the street, someone DMs me, I'm like, oh, I'm going to go out there and I'm going to go try and play it and record it.

Oh, and New York's the best for that. Yes, there's always something on the street.

Sometimes I'll just walk outside and there's like a guy yelling or there's like a funny poster of Pete Davidson. I'll just go film next to him, be like, ah, PD.

Yeah, I have this. I have— I used to think like that too. And I was always like, I was posting 3 a week, so I was always stressed out about videos. And I think I've told this, but like there was— but like living in areas like this or like in Hollywood or living like in New York, like there's always something happening. So there was one time we were going to Coachella and I was scared I wasn't going to get a video done. And then I walked in and there's a homeless guy sleeping on my couch and he— in my— in one of my rooms. And in my living room couch, he shat all over the couch. So like, it literally was like an interesting video that landed right in my lap, like the night before we were going to Coachella. And I was like, I'm gonna film nothing at Coachella, I'm so stressed out. And then this guy just broke into my house and like, in like the safest way possible. It wasn't like I was in any danger, but like He was taking a snooze. But it is interesting how like differently you see things. Like normally I'd be like, oh, this sucks that this guy's here, but now like, oh, it's a fun story.

You said something really funny the other day. You were like, remember when something like really average would happen to me and then you'd call me and be like, oh really? Like, I'm coming over.

Oh yeah, yeah, yeah.

Like it was any moment and I'd be on the other end like, oh, I guess it's really interesting.

Like what's an example of that?

I don't know, I can't remember the example you used.

Um, that's true. Yeah, I mean, I found that like failures in my life all of a sudden make the best content. Yeah, like just messing up, which is great because I'm sure that my future is gonna— I mean, it's gonna have quite a few of them. Yeah, but you know, the trajectory looks like the movie Forrest Gump. You know what I mean?

Oh no, when you're on the internet, you can never mess up. Nothing ever goes wrong.

Is that true?

Yes.

I've heard you like got no controversies right now.

It's like super clear. It's like this. It's like a rocket ship. Nothing can stop you.

I was considering wearing, uh, safety glasses.

Where, where are you from?

I'm from Georgia. Thank you for asking. Yes.

How'd you end up in Michigan?

Where people get their peaches from.

Yeah, it's state fruit. Yeah, I'm from like a small town north of Atlanta called Cumming, Georgia.

Yeah, wonderful.

That's real though. Yeah, right next to the courthouse they sell t-shirts that say I love Cumming. And I mean, it's beautiful and the town's exploded in population over the last couple years. There's like a, you know, A bunch of really great people that moved in. The schools are great. There's a nice little lake, a river.

Are they in on the joke?

The people that sell those t-shirts in the prison?

No, I mean, it's booming right now.

That's why they named the town for tourist appeal.

Let's do it. So, yeah, there's no way you can avoid that. I would hate to live in that town. No, someone, someone comes in for a second and makes that fucking joke. It's like, yeah, I know. I've been here 14 years.

Yeah. You should see our downtown. It's just government buildings. Yeah, they've got a courthouse, a jail. And then right next to that, a small burger shop. And then the t-shirt shop that sells I Love Cumming.

Where's your dream place to live?

My dream place?

Yeah.

Next door to you. But then after that, I'd say Los Angeles is definitely— I mean, I'm torn. My family's all in Georgia, and so long as they remain there, it's like, God, how could I give that up?

Oh, I wanted to ask you about this because this is so interesting. People say you're an industry plant. Is that like a negative thing? I don't want to bring it up if it's like it at all. I just think it's so fucking ridiculous.

No, it's—

I mean, people think that the industry has made you. They've like come to your house and they like— David, do you know what that is? Jay, have you ever heard that phrase?

Yeah, yeah, I know exactly what it is.

Oh, it's all a set. Yeah, no, yeah, I don't actually live there. I just pack up at night.

Oh, not even that, but like I'm just saying like how you were like— how you've exploded like into— like when anybody like— but like people say this about like Billie Eilish or like other people, they'll be like, they've blown up so quickly, they must be industry plants.

Yeah.

And like, I can't even wrap my fucking head around that because I don't think any industry plan even exists.

It's so ridiculous because the minute a brand or a corporation would get a hand on your TikToks or mine or Natalie's, they're completely ruined. Like that authenticity. If there was an actual industry, like let's say, let's say Paramount Pictures owns him or whatever and he's just a creation. He was created in a pod or something. There'd be no way. Like, you're— there'd be no— if they got their hands on your TikToks, You would know.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Well, it's— I think it's silly. I think industry plan is like the new way of saying Illuminati, right?

Oh, oh, is that what you mean?

Yeah.

Are you in the Illuminati?

No, not yet. I was hoping to get—

Have you been a problem out here?

No, seriously, I've been out here for days.

Really defensive. Did you see how you reacted?

No, come on.

What's that?

I honestly, I feel like it's almost like a compliment, people being like, okay, how the hell did he—

Totally.

How the hell did this— It is 100% a compliment. I'm like, I don't believe how he is fucking everywhere. It is a— you should 100% take it as a compliment because it is. But when I, when I did move out here, there was a girl who was joining Illuminati. So I was wondering, maybe you've met the same people. She's, she's actually moved back. She lives in Georgia now.

Oh, okay.

No, she was in Mississippi. So I don't know if that's where they all pluck you guys out of, that area.

But I'd say I lived in Mississippi. No, no, I haven't. I haven't taken any Illuminati meetings. I've been mainly— I, I have a talent manager now, which is super cool. I've been crashing on his couch.

Do you hear that?

Yeah, you have a party going on later.

We got too close to the bottom of Axl. He gets beamed up. Gotta go. It starts shaking. Our hard drives are wiped. Yeah, he was never here. Um, yeah, but we are having a party. Do you want to come?

Well, absolutely.

Really?

Yes, of course I want to come.

We have— no one knows this— 50 Cent is coming to perform tonight.

Fuck you.

I'm being serious.

Holy shit. I've been patiently waiting for a truck to explode on.

Oh, shit.

Yeah.

I don't even know that verse.

Holy cow, dude.

Yeah, it's going to be really fun. And I want to surprise everyone at the party, so I don't want people to know, but come. That's amazing. That was my way of getting you to make it tonight. Just bribing you with a little 50.

I would have come for the sweaty hands, man.

Oh, hell yeah. Yeah. Well, thanks for stopping by.

Of course.

Do we have more things to talk about? Oh, I saw I was going to— I was going to DM you to come on this pod, but Jason did it. But you've DM'd me before.

Oh God, have I?

Did you know that?

No, what did I say?

You said you were the cutest boy on YouTube.

I said that?

That's a fucking lie! No, you said, uh, inspired by Dobrik Vlogs, and you sent me a video you made.

That sounds about right. Yeah.

Did you make a video that was inspired by a video of mine?

Guys, this is lit— yes! Walking in this house and seeing you, it's a dream come true because the reason I started making videos when I was younger I was inspired by your content. Oh, that's so fucking cool! I'm serious, man. So I feel like, especially now—

So you can't be an industry plant because you have inspiration. There is drive and motivation.

Okay, there's a lot of people around you saying things like, I, you know, you're the best, come to a brand deal, blah blah blah. But the nitty-gritty of it is, is that there's kids out there right now in high school and in middle school watching your videos being like, this is something I want to do, and because he can do it, I can do it too. And that's the exact thing I felt. I felt So I want you to, like, feel that because that's— I mean, that was literally what happened to me. And now I'm here and I wouldn't have started if I hadn't felt like it was possible. And that's what you did. You made it feel possible.

Holy shit. So thank you.

Wow.

That was really well articulated.

Sweaty handshake.

Yeah. Wow. Thank you.

Of course.

Wow. I'm so happy to see you killing it. And I'm like, yeah, I'm just stoked. And you're exactly like my favorite type of personality to watch online. It's very Ryan Reynolds. It's very like positive, like, and that's, that's the best part is, oh, my favorite movie, which I think you would like because. Right. Because he gives off that vibe.

Sure. Let's see. You'd be honest. Be honest.

Okay.

Have you seen the movie About Time?

No one's seen it.

Rachel McAdams.

Oh, oh, have you seen it?

Time travel romance. Absolutely. I love this movie.

I'm out of a job.

He just keeps redoing the day, trying to figure it out.

That's my favorite movie. And it's like, and I like, like, really, like, charming comedy. And you're like, you're really charming and you're really funny. And I think you have the same vibe. So like, I gravitate to stuff like you.

So that's my sister's favorite movie. I make fun of her all the time.

Really?

Yes.

Yeah.

About time.

Do you play Spikeball?

Yes, I do.

You like Call of Duty?

Do you?

Let's play. All right. Well, thanks for coming. We just got back from Vegas.

Yeah. Good times.

I actually came back to L.A. and I went to another party here and I was kind of like, I kind of miss Vegas because I really actually do like meeting people because, like, okay, every time we go to a club, there's always a table of Armenians.

Yeah.

And every time it's the same fucking speech, it goes, you did so much for Armenia. Thank you so much, bro. Shots on us. Let's go. And they get so fucking excited and that, like, makes me the happiest. Like, I don't know what it is, but the, like, in every club, Armenians have like 4 tables at them. I don't know. Where they're shelling out this money from. But like every club I go to, always a table packed full of Armenians. And the first thing they always say is, we're Armenian. And then I go, oh, okay, I'm sitting here for the next hour. Um, so I love that. And like, and they're always like— and Armenians just love to fucking have like a good time.

Yeah.

So it's like so different than like an LA club.

Yeah.

Like where it's like, well, there's a lot of Armenians at LA clubs too, and they're the most fun. But like a lot of people in LA are kind of just like, when they're clubbing, they're like, like, you know, they're, they're just sitting there and standing there. But Armenians, like, trying to be seen. Armenians, like, fucking turn it up. Like, they'll take shots. Like, they're like fucking going at it. They're having a good time. Um, so that is what I miss about Vegas. And then you can't really get that at LA parties. It's a little bit different. It's a little more standoffish, and it's a little more, um— and I'm at fault for that too. Like, when I go to an LA party, I also feel like a little bit more like to myself, whereas that's why Vegas is great, because you have like a mix. But I, but I was saying it's a lot That's why I'm saying like, I can't do more than a night.

I like Vegas because there's old people there. There's people my age there. Oh yeah, that's like, I can enjoy all those things that like old people like to do, like go to the spa. Oh yeah, dinner. And then you go to your hotel and then walk to dinner. Like the restaurants are right downstairs, you have to walk far.

We were at, we were at, we were standing by a table and this girl walked by and pinched your ass.

Yes.

And you go like, and by the way, which is, which is like a pretty normal thing to get your ass pinched I can't tell you, I don't remember the last time I went to a club where a girl hasn't put fingers up my asshole for some reason. I don't know, I think a lot of people always comment on my ass when I'm out. I don't know if it's the striped pants I wear or whatever it is, but my butt looks very voluptuous.

So it has a big butt.

So, so, um, somehow if you're watching the video podcast, maybe at the end of it I'll show you guys. But, um, but it, it always triggers like at least one or two girls a club outing to put their fingers like in my ass. And it's not like a pat or like a slap, which is whatever, but it's like— and every time I turn around, they're fucking gone. But it was really funny because Jason got his like ass pinched and just goes, who just pinched my ass? And we find the girls walking by and she goes, oh, shut up, you liked it.

She goes, she goes, she goes, oh, shut up. She goes, don't worry about it. She goes, let it happen.

Oh yeah, like that. So she said, let it happen.

Pretty funny. And then I brought it up and we were— I brought it up again and Dave was like, hey man, let's let that story go. I don't get my ass pinched all the time like you, I guess.

Yeah, yeah, it's definitely an experience.

When you're at the club Friday night, did someone put two fingers in your ass?

Never in LA. Oh, actually it's happened.

Did it happen Friday night in Vegas?

In Vegas? Yes, of course.

Someone put two fingers in your ass?

Yeah.

And you turned around and they were gone? No, I could sometimes spot them, but I think you're enjoying it too much and not turning around quick enough.

I get stuck in there once, I'm like, oh, not going to look yet. No, no. But I remember there was one club in particular that was like fucking a bunch of, a bunch of ass fans, like fucking crazy. But yeah, that's definitely, that's definitely part of the job too, I guess. Getting your ass touched, taking pictures. But hey, I take it as a compliment. Like, yeah, if this is the butt you like, then this is the butt you deserve. I know. Other than that, Vegas is fun. So you texted Jason you didn't want— you don't want to talk about this. Yeah, but I mean, it's— there's no way around it. Our friendship is at a stalemate until we just— until we uncover what's been happening here.

Backing you into a corner.

Okay, so, so Ilya— Ilya and I have been having a fight over the thermostat for 2 or 3 years now. It's because this is an ongoing battle. This is not a new war. This is something that has been partaking for many years.

Let's just say the battle is heating up.

Yeah, it's definitely heating up. And for that reason, Elliot wants to move out. Exactly.

For that reason, I'm out.

Totally. I understand. I totally understand. Move out. Do your thing.

Yeah.

Last night. Last night. Just a regular night. Yeah. Quiet night in my house. And his problem about— he doesn't like sleeping in his room because he's saying the blinds, like, the light seeps through. Because there's little cracks. They're not completely blackout. There's little cracks.

Yeah.

So the light— through the light sleeps through and there's not enough. It's not cool enough, whatever. So I told him, I was like, just fucking fix those things. But instead what he does is he gets a hotel room for last night that's $543 a night and got it for 2 nights. He's going there tonight to sleep today, tonight too.

Wow.

So he's spending $1,000 for 2 nights in a hotel in Hollywood that is further from his job in the morning. That'll be in the Valley. It's like closer to my house. Yeah, but he's going all the way in Hollywood.

Yeah, far away.

You went there last night. You spent $500.

Yeah.

Which is fucking maddening because I told you to fix the fucking shades in your room. I was like, put in blackout curtains. And you said, no, it's too expensive. And instead you threw out $500 on one night for a hotel room. Explain yourself.

Well, first off, The reason I'm not spending money on the blinds is because I'm moving out, so there's no reason for moving into the hotel room.

Is— are you paying a mortgage at that hotel room?

Moving into an apartment?

Because that money— like, what offends me is totally get the philosophy, like, I'm not gonna fix it, it's not my house, I'm leaving. I get it. But at least what hurts me the most, yeah, is at least support your friend and maybe fix the blinds in the room instead of supporting the Andaz Hotel in West Hollywood and giving them $500. It's so— for you for you to stay there for the day.

Well, if that really offended you, I'll put in blackout curtains and then I move out.

No, no, no, but it's not that. It's just the overall concept.

And why are you so pissed about this?

It's just because everything is—

you know what he told me yesterday?

It's so—

actually, this was super insulting, and this is the reason I didn't want to talk about it. Listen what he says, this fucking cocksucker.

What did I say?

I said so much more behind your back.

He goes, yeah, I'm sure you did.

He goes, he called me last night, tried to get me here to have this conversation.

Yeah, I texted him last night. I'm like, you got to come. Ilya's in the shower. I'm fucking fuming. And he's like, can we do this tomorrow? I'm like, no, he hasn't come down coming out from the shower, and then like I could tell Justin didn't want to do it, so I was like, okay. And then Ilya came down and we went to go sit by the fire just to like hang out.

Yeah.

And, um, and I made sure not to bring it up.

Yeah.

And I was like talking a little, and like at the end of our little fire session, I was like, okay, I'm gonna go to bed, because I just— I was— I wanted— I wanted to bring it out, but I wanted to save it for this podcast.

Good save.

He called me— he called me stupid. He called me— he said that I'm— whenever I do this, I, I get myself further away from my goals. He said that He said that like you do weird shit and not in a good way. Like Elon Musk did weird shit, like where like he like weird smart stuff. You're just fucking weird.

Yeah.

Like, you know, Steve Jobs will be like, I only wear black. It's one less decision I have to make a day. Yeah, whatever. I think that's cool. Weird.

Mark Zuckerberg.

But yeah, whoever does it, whatever. Like, like that's weird shit. Yeah, makes sense.

Yeah.

But when Ilya does weird shit.

Yeah.

Take like go to a hotel for $500 a night when his bed is here and like go into a hotel. How convenient was it?

Well, I drove. It was 14 minutes away. I drove at night. It was extremely convenient. There's—

where'd you park?

I valeted up front. Literally up front. Fucking got outside. Car was right there.

But then you got to get your key.

Yeah, then you got to check in with them.

I got to do shit.

Oh, because Alex didn't have to go pay for your parking meter.

Alex did. Alex had to pay for his. Listen, just because you don't understand—

no, I'm doing it. No one.

That's fine. I'm not asking anyone to understand. I'm doing me. Okay, and just because it's fucking weird to you doesn't mean that's weird to me.

I—

the reason I left was twofold. Number one, so I can fucking sleep in an air-conditioned room, and then—

which you can't do.

And number two, you had a lot of stuff going on in the house today, which is fine, which is fine. It's your house.

You do—

tonight makes sense. I'm having a party.

No, during the day, during the day, I, I planned for this. I was like, okay, it's gonna be a crazy day. There's gonna be people coming in and out. I'm not gonna be focused. Emma's not gonna be focused. Alex isn't gonna be focused.

You missed my leprechaun bit.

Exactly.

Exactly. And instead, I was extremely—

I told him to go to your hotel.

I'm sure you did. Instead, I was extremely productive. I got my shit done. Now I'm here. Look, and nothing—

Your employee Alex, who went to visit you at the hotel, came back with a completely opposite report. What did he say? He said, that was the stupidest thing I've ever been a part of. I'm sorry for even taking a side ever.

He did say that?

Yeah.

Oh, well, I'm gonna have to have a talk with him.

Okay, because From, from an insider perspective, which is him. Well, he says it wasn't as fun as you make it seem.

I didn't— I didn't want it to be fun at all.

What time did you get to bed last night?

10:45.

Ooh, that's, that's the crazy part is like, you like showered here, like spent 45 minutes, probably did this whole routine, and then he like got in his clothes and drove to the hotel. It just doesn't make sense.

He tell you he was going—

makes sense. And like, he's been doing this thing the last week with the heat. Where— are you doing this, you fucking scumbag? He turns up my room to like 82. Yeah, yeah, you fucking fuck. I get in it and it's like burning.

Yeah, fuck you. Now you know how I feel, bitch.

Yeah, but like there's different thermostats for all around the house.

I don't know.

I don't want to keep beating a dead horse.

Why are you so upset that he's leaving you? Do you feel deserted?

Uh-huh. No, guys, let me end the fucking conversation. It's as simple as this.

Oh, it's your—

it's your house.

No.

Okay. It's your house. I want it a certain way, you want it a certain way. You're gonna get what you want. And I'm not even saying that with ambiguity, I'm saying that genuinely.

Yeah, but you're gonna get— I wanna, I wanna share with you, I wanna figure it out.

Listen, I appreciate that and I love you, dude, but like, you gotta do you, I'm gonna do me. Like, that's it. I need to separate from you. He's saying that's all it is.

He's saying a big reason is also like he feels like he's in the way when he comes and does his blender things in the kitchen. Is that true?

Did Alex tell you that?

Yeah, yeah, I mean, that's true.

Like, I don't want to feel like stranger in my own home. And it's not your fault by any means.

Wait, wait, wait. When he comes in to make a smoothie, you have a problem with that?

No. Like, we'll have meetings on the couch and I'm sure he feels like, can I be blending stuff right now?

Right, right, right.

So I get it.

But you do blend at all times.

But it is strange. I am blending.

You are in the protein business.

So he's still going to be blending because he's going to spend all of his— his office will remain here.

Well, the office location is also subject to change. Like when we—

I feel like that's what should be changing first. Is the office, uh-huh, where you work, right?

Right. So get out of— get out of here in the day, and then when you come back here, you can enjoy Dave.

Fine, it's fine. It's, uh, upside down Ilya. It's, uh, it's his world and we're just all hanging from it.

Do you— do you feel, uh, deserted when he leaves?

No, no, I— well, I— yeah, I'm definitely bummed, but I know he's gonna be here all the time. But like, I also did want to— like, I remember right when I moved in, I was like, part of me kind of like, do this on my own, right? Because I've only lived with people.

Yeah.

So I think, I think Ilya's to that point. Like, it's like, you do, you know, you're growing up. Like, I'm 25. I want to try it at least.

Are you scared?

Maybe a week or two.

You scared a little bit to live alone?

No, I used to be scared of my old house. Yeah, terrified. But like, this is a new build, so I know it's not haunted. But the last one had like demons in it. I know.

Oh yeah, yeah, yeah.

Scary place, you know.

We had some ghost hunters come by.

It was a scary place. Yeah. But this I'm more comfortable with. But I know 2 weeks in I'm going to be like, yo, you got to move back. This is fucking sucks.

You know how, uh, when we were kids we'd always say like, yeah dude, come over like anytime, like, like fucking borderline like doors open for you, like literally come anytime, don't let me know. And like you used to say that all the time, but I'm curious, are you gonna continue doing that or are you gonna be like, hey, give me like a heads up before you come? Or is it just like, are you cool with like me showing up like 3 AM?

Like, are you fucking nuts? What do you think I'm really gonna text you, give me a heads up before you come? I don't know, what am I, 40? Why the fuck would I say that?

I have no idea.

Give me a heads up.

I feel like I don't want to offend Well, I feel like some part of you, like, doesn't want me showing up at, like, any time of the day.

Oh no, I don't mind. No, I— my favorite part especially is when people are here and I'm not here. Like, when my friends are hanging out and, like, I'm not here. I love—

I'm with you. Like, like I was telling Joe and Jason on the podcast that, like, you guys, like, can come literally anytime without me. Like, whenever you want for whatever. I mean, I know you won't come, but, like, if Jason wants to do a bit or, like, Joe wants to do a bit or whatever.

No, we had— I had— we had friends in Vernon Hills. I'm— I mean, I'm sure you know friends like this. Like, we'd show up to their house and they'd be like smart-assy with us. They'd be like, so who invited you?

Totally.

And I'd be like, what? You're my friend, right? Like, I never understood that. Like, if you're my friend, like, if you're my friend, you could fucking walk right into my house, make a skillet, and fucking put your feet up on the couch and smoke weed. That does not matter.

My mom always had a house like that too.

Yeah, I don't, I don't understand the people that are real. I guess I get it.

But you know, I have something interesting. Your self, your doubt in Ilya has, I believe, torqued him up to a place where he is going to be successful. Because today I asked him the most simple question.

Yeah, I have doubt in him. Yeah, but that's not because like I'm just being an asshole. I know that is because like, yeah, I told you this earlier, like there's no percentage of me that wants to be correct in my doubt.

That's right.

And also on top of that, I like gave him the position to run my pizza company, right? So like, it's not like—

no, you're not being an ass.

But no, no, because like, I chose the guy. Like, I know that I want him, but I also like the people about him because he's my friend.

The people listening should understand that, David, it's actually a good thing. Like, you never over-celebrate. You never like get comfortable even when something good happens. Like, we don't like go like say like, great job, or anything like that.

Like, you know, maybe things are like— I'd never, I'd never post like, I can't wait for you guys to see this vlog.

Yes.

Like, I would never say—

right, you never want to oversell anything.

Under-promise and over-deliver. Yeah.

And I, and I, and I like that. But because you've like been talking so much shit to him, he's, he's gone over the deep end.

You get a conversation that's longer than 20 minutes with him, he'll be like, we're gonna be on a yacht, Dave. Give me 2 months.

I never say that.

That's what you did today at Joe's.

I didn't say give me Jason, no, you didn't say—

no, you didn't say 2 months, you say like 5 years. But this was so funny, but like, but like, yeah, Jason was telling me earlier that like he asked you like the most basic question.

I asked you the most simple question today. I just said like, what did you— what's something you learned when in the plumbing business? Like, I was just truly just asking because I think it is interesting. And you went on like a 25-minute rant that ended with like, I will fucking make it, Jay. I will make it because I've done that business. I've done it in and out. And let me tell you something, I know what's what, and there is no way, no way I'm gonna fail. And I was like, okay, okay, okay.

Yeah, sorry, man. I don't know, I just get— I get passionate about it.

I don't know, I think that's great, man.

I can't wait till we look back at these and he's figured it out and figured out his—

yeah, we'll all be working for him.

Well, like, my theory is like, this next thing that I do, whether it's Zeal or Dobrik's, like, I'm not saying that it like it's gonna fail, but anything could happen. Like anything could really happen. And I will never stop. I will never, ever stop until I succeed.

Like, you see? Yeah, I know he's doing it.

No, but I'm being honest.

No, it's admirable. It is also terrifying.

No, we'll be fine.

No, I wish— I wish I had that. I wish I had what he had.

Well, you do.

Yeah, but not like that.

You have it.

Yeah, well, I operate more on, like, fun. I'm like, that seems like fun, right? I'm not like, let's scale this business and tear these small homes down and build a mall, right? Like, that's how Ilya is.

Let's put a Go-Bricks on Mars.

Fuck the families. Yeah, yeah, kick these guys out. We'll put our oven here for 2 cheese pizzas at a time. Um, yeah, yeah.

How are the pizza tastings going?

Good.

I mean, we're done with them. We finally solidified everything.

Happy with it?

Super happy with it. Oh, that's a good pizza.

Really?

It's a kick-ass pizza.

This is what I'll say.

I'll say, but also pizza is like, it's It's different for everybody. So it's like, it's very Chicago, Detroit style. Okay.

And that's— I think that's a good thing because I order pizza 3 nights a week for my kids from all the best pizza places in LA, and there is nothing, nothing like it in LA.

The one you've tried?

Yeah.

Yeah. We've given it to people. Ilya just told the story the other day. We gave our pizza, uh, like our leftover pizza when we have like our trials, and like, uh, our guy who made it, like the chef who made it, one of the shitty batches. Yeah, it was a shitty batch. Gave it to his friend. His friend gave it to his daughter, and then when his daughter was having a birthday party, he asked, he's like, should I order, uh, Pepe's or Papa John's or whatever? Can you order Doughbrik's?

Oh really?

Yeah.

Isn't that neat?

His daughter, like, so removed from all of us.

Yeah.

Which is like, I think is, I think it's really, really—

yeah, yeah, it's, it's very different.

But yeah, it's definitely not like a New York— it's not like a New York slice. No. So, so don't expect that.

Um, but it's interesting because I don't even like when people ask me what type of pizza you have. I don't, I don't say the city. I don't like explain it by the city. I just kind of explain the pizza, you know what I mean? Because it's really— you can't really— there's nothing like it.

I'm definitely excited. Like I say, like every person comes up with something like, I've been working on this for years, I've been working on this for months, like whatever that is, even it's fake or not. This is truly something we've been working on for so long that I'm so excited for people to try. Like, I'm gonna be fucking stoked when it comes out. Yeah, yeah, you guys, I've honestly thought about quitting everything I do and working like, and learning how to make pizzas and just all fucking day, like, people come in and it's just me working all day. I get fat, I'm fucking eating the supply, people coming in, and I kind of build a Chicago Italian accent. You know, Jose, you want me to put two up for you? Like, you know, like, I've thought about that because I'm like, why not just fucking fully commit to this? Like, it sounds like so much fun. Like, a pizza place only brings people joy. People don't come to pizza places to like, you know, fucking be angry. No, they're coming to like be happy. Like, that's like— oh yeah, it sounds like right up my alley. So There is a chance, right? No, you're not going to go work at Dobrik's.

No fucking way.

Fuck you. We'll see.

I mean, I might.

All right, guys, that's all the time we have for this podcast. Thank you guys for listening. Thank you guys for watching. Thank you to everybody that joined. Go check out all of Axel's things. Go check out Ilya, Jason, Natalie, everybody. And we'll see you guys for next week's podcast. My name is Jeff.