Driving My Sugar Momma's Ferrari

What's up guys, welcome back to Views. We are back. This is our first full pod. Jason Nash is in the building.

What up, what up, dog? How y'all doing?

Natalie's also here.

Food poisoning.

Yo, yo, yo, poop queen in the building.

Shit monster Natalie.

Don't put that out there for me.

You just put it out there. That went to the joke before you could go to it.

I actually wasn't going to go there because I'm like, I'm I'm exhausted with the amount of time.

I would be too. I don't know why you fucking say it every—

like, because I know on the pod it doesn't hit anymore because I say it all the time. But when you're with a new person, yeah, like in Dubai, every new person I meet, they'd be like, where's Natalie?

Every single person, it hits. We were editing David's reel and there it was mentioned 8 times in the reel because everybody that would come up to me—

I felt like a stand-up comedian on tour and it felt like a new city every time. Every time I met a new person, I would just hit the same joke. I'd be like, yeah, she's diarrhea and they go, fuck, that's crazy.

Why wouldn't you say like stomach flu?

And he broke it down last night on the podcast. He's like, there were 7 ravioli and we all had one. And I was like, okay. And he's like, I think Natalie just got the one bad ravioli.

I think I did too. Like we all family style ate one bite of every dish and somehow I got the fucking short end of the stick.

Kind of crazy to think like, cause I was there for like a paid gig, right? So like that would have cost a lot of money if I had the wrong ravioli.

100%.

If you think about it, like, isn't that crazy? Like, that was— what a toss-up that was. It's Russian Roulette. I can't do Diary on throwing up and do a Q&A.

No, I mean, we were supposed to do it together, so I was like, I fully— I had my hair done. I got paid to get my hair done, like glam and stuff. And I was like, there might be a chance where I can rally in like 2 hours. So I had this woman, this Middle Eastern woman, doing like yanking on my hair as I'm like so nauseous. Doing my hair, whatever, for an hour. And then after she left, I was like, I had to lay down. I had to throw up more. It was just terrible.

Wait, were you getting an IV?

I had doctors come to my room, give me an IV, prescribe me medication. Oh my God. Oh, Jason, it was like the worst fucking thing of my life.

What a Snap story.

I know.

Oh, I know. That's funny.

Can we talk about your sister? I need to talk to her when she's not here.

My family has requested that we talk less shit about them. By us, I mean you.

Which side of the family?

Every side. Romero's basking in his glory.

Romero's number one. I love Romero.

We love Romero.

Yeah, he's so cool. What a vibe when he's in the room. Romero's Natalie's dad.

Homie. Homie.

Can we talk about Bella?

What do you want to talk about?

It's so interesting. I mean, there's really no point, right?

It's hard to explain. You'll never get it.

And it's so funny because she doesn't— she's going to be so mad that we're saying this because she fucking hates when we say this.

Okay.

But she, like, operates like a robot.

Yeah.

She, like, walks into a room and, like, she's very, very stiff. She's very upright. And she, like, tunnel visions to the, like, the wall that's directly across from her and then sort of scans the room, like, when she walks in. And she kind of only tilts her neck and doesn't move the rest of her body like a tap dancer.

She's not nervous around you, is she?

No, no, no, no. Natalie will yell at her and be like— she'll do the most mundane thing and Natalie will be like, you fucking freak. Stop doing that.

Oh my God.

Like what? Like what?

I mean, now explain it.

Okay, first of all, this is my sister, so she gives me shit too. I'm not just berating her all the time. Calling her a freak.

Also, calling her a robot is like not a fucking bad thing.

I know, it's not that much worse.

It's just funny that she takes it so harshly.

Seriously.

She takes it so seriously. We're like, stop being so robotic. And she's like, okay, I really don't like when you guys say that, which makes us say it more. It's like, okay, go.

I don't know. She's just like, it's like she's like walking through life. Things are going on around her and she's just not aware of those things. Like she's very aware of like her, she's aware of herself.

Yeah.

But she doesn't know. She will miss things. She's got the tunnel vision is a great way to explain it. And she just locks in and glides. She's just gliding as she walks. And she's just kind of like, she's wide-eyed and just coasting through space.

Yeah, but can you explain a time that you've yelled at her?

Oh, gosh.

What you say exactly? Because it's really funny. Because I like to do that to my friends, to pick them apart like that. But to see Natalie do it, I think is kind of crazy. I'm like, oh, Natalie, you're noticing this too? I get really confused.

I mean, I guess the best example would be like she wakes up every morning without fail. She wakes up at 5:00 in the morning.

Yeah.

And she has like her— she's just very like she has a routine.

We were in Australia, we were all hungover. She sends a text into the group chat at 6:30 in the morning saying, anyone want to come to Pilates with me starting at 7:00 in the morning?

Okay.

And this is like not something to make fun of somebody for, like, oh, she's healthy. But it's the day after New Year's.

We all were like, and no one responded in like 15 minutes.

And she goes, hello?

I was like, dude, half of us went to bed 30 minutes ago. Did she stay out late?

I— she was not as late as everybody else. She like fell asleep.

But that is robot tendencies. No, it was to be up on January 1st at 6:30 AM going to Pilates, doing a Pilates class in another country. How's there even a class? What?

There shouldn't even be a class.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I don't know, it's just like— and even just like the way that she eats, like her diet is very much like she has granola and yogurt And fruit.

We're just saying the best things about her, but making it—

No, it's so interesting.

And then she does sit-ups, and then she lifts weights and goes on runs every day.

I think this is really relatable. I think a lot of people have friends like this that are just like, who are you? Yeah, you're not a person.

Well, because she— last night, actually, we— her and I, I was like mirroring to my TV, and I was playing like old videos and stuff of us like as kids.

Yeah.

And she was like the most bizarre child. And I was playing the old videos. Like, she would, like, sing and dance and yell and, like, just, like, say the weirdest shit.

Oh my God. Wait, where were we? Oh my God. We were on the beach in the Philippines and we were, like, kind of getting, like, tired. Natalie and her were approaching, like, the lawn chair I was laying on or whatever, the beach chair. And Natalie goes, okay, ready? I think we're pretty tired. And then all of a sudden, Natalie's sister, like, do you remember this? Natalie's sister, like, snaps.

And like does a twirly spin and then into a cartwheel in the middle of like— I was like, like she just like turns her body, spins away like she's like in a fairy tale, like movie, and then goes into a cartwheel and another cartwheel in the middle. And then I'm like, wow, we're just staring at her because we're in the middle of speaking.

Like she had like 10% fun left in her.

Yeah.

And she's like, time to squeeze it out. It was time to leave. Let me— I don't know. I don't know.

You two are not the people to do that around either. Oh, do you guys see this? Does their own thing. That drives you guys nuts.

No, this isn't going to make sense. This isn't going to make sense on the pod.

No, it makes sense.

No, it's not going to.

This sounds mean.

This isn't like Ilya, like us making fun of Ilya for working out or whatever. This is not— you don't compare this to Ilya. These are two different worlds.

Hey, have you been working out? Are you taking care of yourself?

You noticed?

No. Yeah, I noticed. I was editing the ShipStation ad last night. And it sounded like somebody was 400 pounds reading it.

The breathing was like, you could take a— Oh dude, I actually took my shirt off yesterday in front of Natalie's sister.

Oh yeah.

And she was like, it's not that bad.

Yeah, she was like, oh, hello.

Yeah, she was pleasantly surprised.

Oh, she was? Natalie's sister was?

Yeah, and it gave me like this boost of confidence. I was just walking around the room without my shirt.

Well, because you do talk about yourself like you've like completely let yourself go back to your old ways.

Yeah, which is not possible because it was really bad.

You weren't fat to begin with.

Jay?

A little bit. You had a little pudge.

No, no, no, no.

It was just like dad body.

Come on, Natalie. Did you like— my face was like crazy. I don't— I don't think it was fucking huge, right? No, it was bad. That's really hard to go back. Like, I don't eat like that anymore. Like, like that. I go to Zilla for that. Like, no, I don't. You sure? Yeah.

Because I don't like that.

No.

Like, what's eating like that?

Like, like, like fast food.

Well, without fail, there would be a third meal every night. Yeah. And third meals at like— I only have two meals a day now. Yeah, I have lunch and dinner, but there would always be the third Taco Bell at 2 AM. Always. Oh, always without fail.

Like, I was a bossa nova.

Like, yeah, Taco Bell wasn't like, I'm hungry. It was like, this is my dessert to fall asleep. So like, and like eliminating 1400 calories a day, like extra at night, has changed my life completely. Yeah.

But you don't drink soda.

No.

Oh, good.

Not as much. No, no, no. I really cut back on that, actually.

Yeah, you look good.

Fuck you.

You're just a little out of breath last night.

I'm definitely always out of breath.

You should get back into the gym, though. I don't know, just even if not for yourself.

In the new year, I'm going to.

Well, it's the new year, buddy.

Fuck. In 2027, I'm really going to kick things into gear. No, no, no. I will. Turn the lock in. I'm just trying to find I think Chinese New Year is what I'm looking for. When is that?

It's like almost over.

Oh, it's almost over? I thought that was like in March.

No, no, it's like end of January.

All right, well, whatever. Valentine's Day is my— is when I change things up around here. Oh yeah, I, I'm pretty content with where I'm at. Yeah, yeah, good. The jet lag has been hitting me harder than nothing on this planet.

Oh my God, it's terrible. I feel like I'm like out of my body.

But it's weird because I've never been affected by jet lag. Right.

No, but you went to so many places.

But have you ever been not affected by jet lag?

No, I'm always affected.

Your entire life?

Yeah.

Oh, yeah.

Because through my 20s, I thought people were like, not kidding, but I was like, what are you— like, people would like be like, are you jet lagged? And I'd always be like, yeah, right. And I didn't know what it meant. I would just say yeah, because you're supposed to when you're traveling.

Yeah.

I thought it just meant like you're like discombobulated. I don't— I didn't even know what it— like, I didn't know what it meant at all. And like, now I'm like, it's like fucking— it's a battle till like 7 in the morning. I have— I'm on NyQuil, I'm on melatonin, and my body won't put me to bed.

Well, you went to Australia, the Philippines, and Dubai. That's crazy.

Yeah, but I never had a problem with like the Seven Wonders trip. I never really had a problem with it.

You did that over a year though.

We did that over— no, we did it over 6 months or 6 weeks, but like we spent a full week in each place, you know.

Spent 3 days in each place. What the fuck are you talking about? 14 countries.

In like each geographical location, it was like a week.

I guess. You know where I really want to go where we haven't yet? Bhutan. What's that? I was like 2 or 3 podcasts ago. I was like, I don't want to go anywhere. But Bhutan, apparently it's like the happiest place ever.

Really?

Yeah. Bhutan. Happy place. Apparently you have to pay. I mean, I may just be making this up. It's the world's happiest country due to its unique philosophy of gross national happiness, prioritizing citizen well-being, cultural preservation, environmental conservation, and good governance over more mere economic growth. The happiest place on earth.

Where is that?

Bhutan. You know, it's there. And I don't want to tell you where it is because I want to gatekeep it.

Really?

Yeah.

So I don't want you to find them.

I wish I had the internet.

Yeah. Yeah. So, but you have to pay $100 a day to be a tourist there.

Oh, it's in Asia.

Yeah. Oh, yeah. I could have told you that, but I don't know exactly where it falls. But you did.

You said you wouldn't.

But yeah, other than that, Life's been lit. What else? What's new with you and Naveen, Jay?

Me and Naveen, daily vlogging, hanging out, going to see—

You're daily vlogging?

Yeah, I've been daily vlogging.

Oh yeah, you missed that last pod.

You missed it.

Whoa.

Yeah. 14 in a row.

No, he's been doing it for 14 days in a row.

Whoa. How the fuck are you coming up with stuff?

Um, well—

I don't think that's what the vlog's about. I think the vlog is—

Pretty easy, actually.

The vlog is, can he find the record button? Which is cool, which is cool. That's how it should be. I— some of my favorite vloggers growing up were CTFxC. Yeah, I've mentioned them before, but I think they did like 3,900 days in a row.

Whoa, 3,900 days?

Yes.

8 years?

Yes.

Wait, that'd be 12 years.

Yeah, yeah, they did something ridiculous. Oh my gosh, every single day. That's crazy. And like, in their peak there, I think they were getting like 400,000, 300,000 views a video or something.

Really?

Yeah, just crazy because you're doing it daily. I mean, I could I could not believe it. And every, like when you're every day with somebody like that, you know how good that feels? It feels so good to watch them. 'Cause you're just like, this is it. Time to lock in, see what they're up to.

Right.

So I loved doing that.

I love that. I love that comment that they're like, I just got home and I'm gonna watch it. I just got home from work. Oh. So excited that you, there's something here for me to watch.

Oh yeah. That is the best. Like having like things for a meal.

Ah.

Yeah.

Yeah, it's so nice.

What is, what's like your meal watch?

We watch King of Queens.

Really?

The animated thing?

No, it's like a Kevin James sitcom.

Oh!

And I don't know how we got onto it, but we watch it while we eat, and then we watch Kill Tony.

What is King of Queens? What is it about?

It's about a guy who's like a little overweight.

He's a mailman, right?

He's a mailman. He's a UPS driver.

Oh, I love that.

And his wife works for a law office, and they just like do their life.

It's like suburban.

It's super suburban, 4-camera sitcom. Really easy, goes down easy.

Is she like— what's the premise though? Is she like the breadwinner in the family?

Uh, no, they're both doing it.

Okay, because King of Queens, it makes—

He's in Queens.

Huh?

He lives in Queens.

Oh, I thought like she was like the queen.

Yeah, that too, I guess.

Okay, okay.

But it's pretty— it's really good. He's a really funny actor.

Kevin James?

Yeah, he's like really good. Yeah, like very kind of like maybe one of the best. Really?

Yeah, Kevin James is like, comedically, who was the other guy that you said is the best? Your favorite actor is comedically McDonald's.

Norm.

Norm MacDonald. Yeah.

Oh, Norm's the best.

The clown.

Hey, have you ever watched On Cinema?

No. What's that?

Oh my God, it's the best.

What's On Cinema?

I was thinking about how you make me listen— you always make me hear about Marvel, so I was like, well, what would be my thing if I had to force David to talk about something that you didn't want to talk about?

On Cinema? Is that like Hallmark movies?

It's a guy— it's a— it's, it's two guys hosting a movie show, but it's a— but they hate each other and it's like a mock show.

They don't actually hate each other though.

No, no, but they're playing characters, but it's so well done. And so basically it starts out, they've done it for like 14 seasons, and by the 7th season one of the hosts goes on trial for murder. And then it turns into a murder—

scripted?

Yeah, scripted. And it turns into a murder trial. It goes from movie show to murder trial. Like, it's the most insane comedy show I've ever seen in my life.

Wait, wait, wait, wait. So are you— is it like, are they like breaking the fourth wall? Like you think you're watching a movie review show and then it like turns?

Yeah, like you think you're watching a movie review show. I mean, it's pretty clear that—

what do you mean?

It's like two guys hosting a podcast and then all of a sudden it's like, they're like, they're like, the podcast breaks out like 8-minute episodes and it'd be real movies. And they're like, here's what I thought of this. Okay, it's a real movie. It's like The Rock or whatever. And they're terrible at reviewing movies. And so it's like, it's just the highest level comedy I've ever seen in my life. Like, it's— oh, it's like a vlog, huh? Yeah, it's like a vlog on cinema. Okay, you gotta watch it.

Cinema?

Yeah.

Huh. I'm gonna lock in.

See, that's what it's like when you talk about Captain America.

Someone DM'd me the other day saying they're gonna— their New Year's resolution is to watch more Marvel movies so they can keep up with what I'm talking about. I thought that was very sweet. Wow. So thank you for saying that.

That's really cool. Hey, what's up with the motherfucker who always DMs you and says, "I fucked up the podcast," and then I get a text?

Well, I think you are fucking up the podcast.

I am not fucking up the podcast.

I feel like every time I get a DM about it—

What, I go back and fix it and don't tell you?

You're right. It's been— I feel like we've mentioned it enough where now it could be a joke when people DM me.

So now I get texts like—

And now that we're talking about it, it's definitely going to be a joke. So now we'll never know.

Oh, right.

Okay, so if you tell— say deadass he fucked up the podcast. If he actually did fuck up the podcast, feel free to fuck with me.

Yeah.

And say—

they're gonna say deadass.

They can't lie on deadass. They're part of the Logang.

They're part of the—

our Logang would never. Did you see Logan Paul selling his— selling his Pokémon card?

I saw that.

I thought, like, $3 million one.

That's crazy that you even know about it.

I thought it was more like—

really does make it like a very famous card.

$3 mil?

No, right now it's sitting at like $5 million. Oh, and he's— and he has 33 days left in the auction.

Jesus.

That's— and that's crazy because 33 days, like, the pivotal days got to be the last 2 days where it's probably gonna move another $3, $4 million just alone.

Wow.

So this card gonna go for like $30 million.

Is it because it's his card or because it's actually a combination of everything?

Yeah, it's like he's worn it to all his wrestling gigs and it's like It's like a PSA 10.

He put it in like a diamond chain thing too. Yeah, he added a little value.

I mean, I think honestly that's like the least of the— that's maybe the most exciting thing for Natalie is there's bling around it.

Wait, have you heard about the guy on TikTok that says he's trapped in France 2055?

Oh wait, 2000— what? He's trapped in France in 2055 where he's walking around and there's no one in the city?

Yes.

Yeah.

What is that?

Well, is it just France?

Uh, yeah. He says he's trapped.

Because there's a guy that's walking around the Earth.

Oh, maybe he's in the Earth.

Maybe you're seeing France?

Yeah.

Yes, yeah, yeah, yeah. Like, do you believe it?

Yeah. Really? No, I don't believe it.

Yeah, I mean, I don't know. That's what sucks about time travel is it feels like it could never be real. Just because we've never seen any proof of it.

Right.

And I don't think that the guy that's on TikTok— yeah, I think it's a really good gag. He like walks around the streets and it's all empty. It's all empty, but he walks like really slowly.

He does.

Like, I'd want him to like sprint through the streets.

So how did he do the Mona Lisa?

Oh, when no one was there? Yeah, in front of it. Yeah, I think he just got there early.

Impossible.

Why is it impossible?

I mean, have you ever—

we've been to the Mona Lisa, you know, to even get Okay, but if you get there on a dead day, like the first person, but if you get there first, right, you run, you show yourself when there's no one behind you yet because you've sprinted.

Yeah.

And then you have the opportunity to flip it.

Yeah.

And there's no one in front of you. Maybe a security guard you AI out. Like, I don't know. That feels pretty possible. No, I was trying to do this dance trend last night.

You know, the one that goes music, music.

You know, dun dun dun dun dun. I don't know this.

But it's like, it's like all AI. So obviously you see like a golden retriever doing it. So I know that's not AI.

Oh, okay.

I was saying to V and I was like, I want to try to do the trend. She was like, is this AI? And I'm like, I know, but I want to try to actually do it.

Were you able to do the dance?

So then she's like, well, show me one that's not AI. And I was like, okay, here. And then it's, it's all AI.

Well, that's the good news about AI is you can actually up your game. Yeah, you should just upload your face.

Then it's Trump and Putin doing it.

Well, that's real.

Yeah.

When I didn't get to attend the speaking engagement in Dubai, I got so many DMs. One, I guess he had mentioned the diarrhea thing obviously several times on stage. People were like, we're really sorry, we feel bad for you. And the other thing, I was told, David, that you said that you loved me on stage.

I didn't say that. I didn't say that, by the way. What?

Excuse you?

I don't know. Like, I don't know why things— it's Dubai. There's so much AI around that the whole event was probably— honestly, you probably— anything that any playback that you watch from that event was probably dubbed. So I think you're— yeah, I think what I was probably saying is—

be honest. What did you say? I love Natalie. You say it like that?

I mean, yeah, I'm sure I talked about— yeah, okay. Maybe I said stuff like that, but that's because I've talked about her diarrhea where I felt like I needed to give her some points.

Oh my God.

Where I was like, oh, she—

please.

Um, yeah, no, I may have mentioned that.

That's so funny. Like, you get— you can't get touchy-feely.

No, I can't.

You're like Kevin James in King of Queens. That's King of Queens character.

Fuck, I love that show.

Or you're like the Fonz.

Oh, now you're really out of my reach.

Do you know who the Fonz is?

No.

You never watch Happy Days? You guys never seen it? Oh God, forget it. But there was this character named the Fonz.

I mean, I've heard of the Fonz for sure.

And he would do this thing and it was— he would go, if he was wrong about something, which was very rarely, he would go, Fonzie, what do you want to say? And he would go, I was— I was— and he couldn't say that he was wrong.

That's funny.

That's really funny.

I was Wrong.

Um, this next topic is going to be one of my favorites. Natalie.

Oh gosh.

What? So there's a little birdie, Natalie, telling me that you're contemplating marrying somebody.

Um, well, that little birdie is right.

Really?

Yeah.

Natalie met this guy and she's considering flying him out.

Okay, Natalie. Damn, you are a high roller, man.

Um, I guess. Yeah, I've never like done anything like that, but But I'm also just like not seeing anybody right now. And like, I met him on our travels.

You'd actually fly him out? Like, you'd pay?

I don't think I would fly him out. I think he needs to fly himself out, like at the minimum, right? Like, I just like, you know.

And you'd house him?

Oh, I don't know.

How do you do that? How do you like, how do you like fly out someone and like, do you, do you go— they should get their own hotel room.

I would think so, yeah.

Because that's like a weird precedent. Like, you're gonna sleep next to me? That's crazy. Oh wait, I guess you guys have hooked up before.

Yeah.

So it's not a crazy precedent actually.

Yeah. And like, that's the thing. It's like, well, it is still, it is still crazy to me because I don't like know him, you know?

Right. And then you are stuck with him for the X amount of days.

Yeah. And like, he's coming all the way to America. Like, I'm not going to be like, hey, come for Saturday, Sunday and then leave.

Yeah.

You know, it's like rude.

Does he have friends here?

Yeah.

Yeah, he does. He has a friend that lives here. So. Yeah, yeah, have him stay with your— have him stay with his friend. I just think his friend doesn't like have room for him, so he's like, why do you want this guy to fly?

Oh wait, what? His friend doesn't have room for him?

Like, he'd have to like—

well, I guess he told you that. He's like, I have a friend there, but he doesn't want to— well, he doesn't want me there.

No, no, no, he has a friend that lives here, but he, um, I don't know, he's just like, he wants to stay with me, obviously.

Like, it's just like, if I had a friend in LA, no matter how small the place is, we're gonna make it work, even if we're sharing a bed. No, so he's lying because he wants Yeah, you have to blow her back out. This guy strictly wants to— does he not care about his friend, wants to blow Natalie's back out and dip? Okay. Okay.

So I don't know, all my girlfriends, which all my girlfriends, my last girlfriend, you guys, is pregnant. I am officially the last unmarried childless friend. Yeah. And I'm flying out a man from a different country.

Okay. So is that the goal with this?

We all have a different road.

No, I don't know. I don't think so. I mean, it's like so unrealistic, like that it just doesn't make sense. Like, I'm a very realistic, logical thinking human, which is why I'm like, what the fuck am I doing?

But is the goal— is the goal like, is there somewhere to get your back?

I just do think like I haven't had like a cute, like romantic weekend and like I'm an amazing planner. Like I could plan such an amazing time and we'd have such a—

wow, you would plan it.

What would you do? What would your ideal—

what is he gonna plan? He doesn't know anything. He's never been to America.

Fuck, that's sick.

Dave's jealous.

Yeah, so you said—

yeah, Dave knows Natalie can plan well. So yeah, it just went in his head. He went, Natalie does plan well. Wait a second, wait, why?

What am I missing here? Natalie's cool, she plans well. Wait, I love Natalie.

Sometimes that's what it takes.

She loves to eat the same foods as me.

That's really funny. Holy shit, now there's everything I've been looking for. Okay, so you're going to plan, which is fucking sick. Wow. So he just like shows up and has sex with you and leaves. Yeah, just shows up. Yeah.

Shows up to go to the Getty.

Yeah. Yeah. Gets to do the coolest thing.

Yeah.

To go to the Getty, has sex.

Natalie probably pays for half the dinners. Yeah.

Probably gets to go to Nobu in Malibu.

Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah.

He drives around in my Ferrari.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh yeah. Probably takes the Ferrari to go see the friend in the small apartment. Yeah, yeah.

And it's like, this is my wife's. Yeah. Yeah, goes back to his home country, be like, yeah, I'm having sex with this princess in LA.

She paid for everything. She's my sugar mama.

She's older.

She's older.

She's 3 years older than me.

All her friends are married. She's desperate. They're popping out babies.

She just wants a kid and then I get Ferrari. It's so fucking easy. I think I'm going to impregnate her next time I go to Malibu. Nobu. She loves it there. Everyone knows her name there. They call her Chicken Teriyaki Queen.

Chicken Teriyaki Queen. They call her food poisoning.

They call her— for some reason they keep calling her—

They call her the Dubai Diarrhea. That's funny.

Yeah.

What would you plan if you were to take him out? Like, what would be just one thing that you would do?

We'd go to like a sports game for sure.

Oh, Lakers?

Um, he likes hockey, so maybe go to a hockey— and I like hockey.

Fun.

Damn, but what if you fall in love with one of the players?

This is true.

Yeah, like, what if one of the players turns to you and it's like, yo, you, I want you.

Hey, I have a question. Does that show— that show Heated Rivalry, right? It's about like two gay hockey players.

Yeah, yeah.

So when Naveen and I were having this debate, yeah, do women find that sexy? Two men making love? Or like, you know, showering together?

Apparently. So I—

I'm sorry, are you fucking kidding?

Of course, who wouldn't love that?

I was asking Natalie.

Oh, okay, for sure.

Um, I— so I just watched the first episode of Heat of Rivalry the other night because I've been away, so I've been able to watch it, but I've been seeing everybody talk about it.

Yeah, what happens?

I mean, it's like—

it's like they go butt cheeks in the shower. Is that what it is?

Yeah, there's like a shower scene. I mean, it's non-stop. It's literally a softcore porn, the entire—

oh It is?

Yeah.

What?

I mean, no, it's like basically a porn, the whole thing.

I'm watching frontal.

Uh, I haven't seen any dick yet. No.

How many episodes is it?

That's not— that's not a full porn.

Yeah, but like, yeah, you're right. Uh, I don't know.

I wanted you to say it so I could be like, Dave's watching it on Shorts, on YouTube Shorts. I think I've seen the whole thing minute by minute.

I'm seeing in slow motion, but I think I think it's just the way that it's shot and like the actors are really good because like I wouldn't be like—

Describe these shower scenes.

Well, answer the question.

Wait, is there penis?

No, because I would never gravitate towards— No, is there no penis?

I don't know, I don't know, I haven't seen it. You just said there wasn't.

So these are penises from hockey players?

They're Ken dolls.

One is like super Russian and one is the Canadian, the captain of the Canadian team, and the other is the captain of the Russian team.

It's like me and Ilya.

It's really funny. The dynamic is really interesting. The actors are really great. And I don't know, I was like, because I would never be like, if I was like horny or something and I wanted to watch porn, I wouldn't be like, oh, gay porn, here we go.

Right?

Like, never. That's like, I don't know, doesn't do it for me.

That's interesting.

I mean, like, just because the comments— Naveen and I were looking at the comments and all the women were like so turned on by it.

We were like, oh, women are going crazy for it.

Yeah. And I was like, are they just like saying that?

I would never pin that as something that women would love.

Me neither.

Interesting.

Show me a woman. Bring Brooke in here. Show me a woman that likes to watch two guys bang.

No, but it's—

are you turned on by this?

Instant lawsuit.

Lawsuit. They brought me into the pod. Um, okay, sorry. Yeah, Nat, back to your guy. So is this happening or not?

Are you still on the fence?

They've got two horns.

No, I'm still on the fence because even just like the way you guys say it, because like I don't want to be a sugar mama. I want to be taken care of. So like, I know in the back of my head that it's not gonna go anywhere because I'm not gonna like—

Yeah, I'm not gonna like be into a man that I have to take care of, obviously, you know.

But isn't there something just to have fun, like just a fun little weekend?

Do you think that if you had him by, it'd be too much of a commitment for the first time?

I do wish I didn't have to like host him the whole time, I think. I don't know.

Yeah, but have him come for like 4 days and just hang out with him every day. I mean, obviously you have to do your work and stuff.

I know, I'm like, what do you mean? I'm not gonna be here.

Obviously you're gonna have to do your 9 AM to 10 PM you're here, but there's 30 minutes to have sex with him and then go to sleep and get ready for the work day tomorrow. Maybe you can help you get dressed or sort your emails, or, uh, maybe you could actually make you come here quicker.

Are you guys having any more parties here?

Yeah, of course.

Yeah, well, no, we're only doing my 30th and I think that's it.

No, no, we're doing—

that's the end.

We close this topic about Natalie's guy. So it's a maybe.

It's a maybe. Yeah, I guess stay tuned, we'll see.

Will I get to like meet him formally?

Yeah, I'll bring him by. We should have like a little movie night so he can hang out with us and then I can cuddle on the couch with him.

Wow, that's— you're performative. You just want to get—

I just want to bring him around and have him hold me.

This is my boy.

Um, is that going to make you jealous if they're cuddling on your couch?

Uh, no. I mean, honestly, the real estate on the couch is getting really slim.

Okay, yeah, no room.

There's like no room. There's no room to add another person.

Who's popping in there these days?

Well, it's, it's me, Taylor, 4, Natalie, 3, John, Julia, Alex.

6.

Yeah. It's pretty like— Your couch is like 12 though.

Yeah.

But there's like 2 corners. Everyone's sitting, but to be cuddling, like, yo. Oh. I'm saving, if I cuddle with somebody, which I haven't yet, but the day I do, there is room for it. Just anybody listening.

It's gonna be crazy when David actually—

So there is room for cuddling on the couch because I already lay down. I'm already, anticipating a plus in the next—

you already take up 2 spots.

Yeah, I already take up 2 spots, so don't worry, like, it's already good. Natalie's currently a sitter. Okay, so if she does bring a guy into this and they start going horizontal, yeah, it's going to fuck up the feng shui. Well, that means Alex will have to definitely sit, which is actually a good thing for him because he falls asleep during movies. It'll— and I'll have to maybe scoot down, like, an elbow will have to come in closer.

Okay, okay, so What was the last movie you watched on the couch, all of you?

Harry Potter. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. We just— through December we watched all of them and everybody loved it.

Loved it.

Like blown away.

Really?

Like I've never seen— like I must have never seen Harry Potter before properly.

You seen On Cinema?

Uh, no. What is that? Um, all right guys, well I got to get out of here.

You got to go.

I am going.

Well, thanks for doing the pod. Thanks for stopping in from Dubai.

Of course. I got to go to catch my flight. I'm going to Madrid on my own again. I'm going to fucking cry every second.

Are you worried to be alone?

Yeah, I'm fucking worried to be alone.

Let's tackle that.

I genuinely couldn't do this pod because I've been just so nervous about being by myself.

But, but, um, when was the last time you were alone in a foreign country besides Dubai?

Uh, I mean, he wasn't alone. He was still with like—

Oh, you were with all your homies?

Yeah, my sister was there.

Yeah, yeah. Alone in a foreign country? Yeah, about since the south of France like 3 years ago.

And how'd that go?

Incredible.

Great. Yeah.

Oh, one of my favorite times ever.

Don't you think it's one of those things that you're like, you're nervous about it now, but once you get there and you're like, hey, I'm David Dobrik.

No, my heart is like hurting.

This is like a great thing. Like, have you guys made your like goals or lists for 2026 of things you want to like accomplish or do? Yes. Yes. This would be like, this is actually a great thing for you to put on your list and check off, like go somewhere by myself.

Okay, well, I'm doing it.

I know, I'm really proud of you.

I don't know why you're fucking telling me I got to write it down because it's being checked off currently. Um, yeah, it's gonna be tough. It's gonna be tough. I can't wait to report back. I am like literally shaking in my boots just thinking about it. I don't know what it is. It's like, it's also like paying for cabs. I'm gonna need to take a credit card. I know that there's a credit— I don't have a credit card that matches my name.

David Julian.

Uh, you don't have to say my middle name. There's no point of that. That's literally harassment. Um, yeah, I don't have a credit card. What would we do, Nat?

Wait a minute.

What do you mean he doesn't have a physical credit card?

I don't have one that like, not even Natalie holds my credit card that has my name on it.

Yeah. I have a credit card with my name on it that's attached to his bank account.

I went to check into my Miami hotel. They wouldn't let me check in. Oh, I remember.

Yeah.

Like full blown would not let me check in. I had to give him like $10,000 in cash, which is like nothing.

You have a debit card?

No, no, no.

I mean, he does.

Oh, with my name on it?

Let me check. I mean, I definitely have something with your name on it.

Okay. Well, I need to leave in 15 minutes.

I know. It's probably my safe.

We better get that pretty quick. All right, guys. Thanks for joining us. See you soon. Bye.