David and Natalie Talk Hooking Up

What's up, guys? Welcome back to Views, the podcast.

Yes, fresh off the Heath and Mariah wedding. Woo!

Yeah, we just got back from the wedding. Um, every time we do this pod, I feel like we could get back from some, some big event, and this is probably the biggest of our friend group. Our friends Heath and Mariah got married. We're giving you the inside scoop, the all-access pass to inside the wedding.

Yes, there was a woman that was after Dave the whole time. She was—

Oh, fuck yes.

She had a big crush on you.

Yes.

Yeah.

That was crazy.

Yeah.

I thought it was a joke at first, and then as the night went on, I was like, oh my God, this is real.

Yeah, she tried going through me. She tried going through—

She went through me as well.

Went through Natalie, she went through Jack, and she went through Scott, and also Ilya. I saw her trying to— She said, what?

Wait, what did she say to you?

She was just like, do you think he would like me? And blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. And I was like, and then I was like, I don't know that girl.

Drunk.

I was like, go over there and shoot your shot. You know, I don't know.

She told, she told, um, she told me, she was like, I asked Mariah, she's like, I asked Mariah who would be like the person I can maybe meet at the wedding. And she's like, well, the best single person you could meet here is gonna be David. Right? And then Natalie was telling me a story that she came up to Natalie and was like, hi, I asked Mariah who the best single person to meet would be. And Mariah said, Todd, but outta respect, I'm not gonna go for him.

Oh my God.

Yes.

She said that to my face.

I was like, wait, I was like, wait, so she said this to two people? I'm like, I'm so confused. And then at the end, it was really funny. At the end of the night, Ilia just told me, Ilia told me this.

She went home with Todd.

No, no, no, no. She was really sweet too.

Yeah, she was great.

And she was on it. She, you know, whatever.

We love a woman on it.

I just can't hook up with somebody at a wedding. I don't know why.

You can't.

That's not true. I've only been to 3 weddings. I don't want to write off all weddings for the future. But before I get into how the wedding was, let me finish this part. There was, she was talking to Ilia. I was so drunk at the end of the night. Like, it was like, we actually ended at a good time. It was like 2:00 AM. 'Cause the wedding started early.

It was midnight.

Oh, it was midnight.

That's why it was amazing. 'Cause we went to bed at like a reasonable hour.

Right. It was amazing. That's what, that was the best part. It made me rethink everything. I was like, everyone should start partying at like 6:00 PM and go home at midnight. Like, this is amazing.

That's what old people do.

Yeah. It was incredible. So it was like 12:30. I think the afterparty was wrapping up. Like everyone was going home. And I was so drunk where I was leaning on Ilya, like I had my eyes closed and we were waiting for our Uber. And I was like, my head was resting on his shoulder and I heard her come up again and like, and my eyes are closed and she comes up to Ilya and she goes, this is from Ilya. 'Cause I don't remember this part of the story. 'Cause I was actually genuinely so drunk. I was, yeah. She's like, so is he not interested or is he a pussy?

Oh my gosh. Wow.

And Ilya goes, Ilya goes, I think it's a little bit of both. And then Ilya's like, and then Ilya told me, she's like, and then he's like, well, she didn't even acknowledge the fact that I said that you may not be interested. She just goes, oh, so he's a big pussy. Wow.

She got it right.

Which was really funny. Yeah. But okay. Yeah. That was a great thing that happened at the wedding. But other than that, I haven't been to many weddings and I don't wanna rank 'em next to each other, but that was one of the best weddings ever. Like, it was so fun. The fact that it was indoors was so my style. I love things that are indoors.

Winter wonderland. It was warm.

It was amazing. It was this huge fucking venue that, like, it just, like, it went from room to room to room and everything was connected by these long, beautiful hallways. And it just felt like you were at somebody's, like, ginormous home. It was really warm even though it was big. The entire thing, like, I don't know, everything from, like, the dance floor area to, like, The food was fucking insane. Mariah's parents were amazing.

Did you notice there was an insane round of food before the food?

Did I notice? Fuck yeah. I was so confused. That's when I ran into Mariah's dad and I was like, so this isn't the dinner? And he goes, no, we're Italian. And I go, well, right on. I was getting so fucking full. It was amazing. Natalie and I made the mistake of going out the night before. Yeah. Because one of our friends was in New York that we don't ever see.

Yeah.

So we just got the tail end of going to hang out with her. We got home at like 6 or 7 the night before. Yeah. When Natalie does this fucking thing where she thinks she can—

No, no, no.

Yeah.

You don't even know what he's going to say.

No, I do.

No, because I've been talking to her about it all night. Like, she like— like, okay, so this week, this upcoming week, we have to go to Columbus for work. And then we go to Vegas and I'm like, great, we're going to— we're going to drink again. And Natalie's like, we don't actually have to drink that much. And I'm like, can you just stop fucking pretending like you have any control over yourself? Because the second, like, anything touches her lips, it's fucking go time.

Really?

And like, yeah. And then I look at her. Okay, so we were— we were in New York and she, like, found her groove. It was like a really—

first of all, I fully, fully disclosed ahead of going out in New York that I was going to get drunk. I was down to get drunk. I wanted to have fun.

No, no, no. But the thing is, you said you're like, we can get drunk and be home at 2. That's what you said. And I was like, Natalie, we could have— 2 AM does not exist for us anymore. For some reason, we lost it about a year ago, and now it's 6, 7 AM or nothing. That's why I loved Heath and Mariah's wedding, because I was like, yes, we're leaving here at 12:30. Everyone had the best fuck. Everyone maxed out their good time.

Yeah.

Like, it was like nobody was like, more, more. Everybody was like, that was fine. We got to go home. Like, it was— everybody was on the same page about it. So that's what was incredible. But yeah, we were just— we were a little hungover going into the wedding.

Yeah, but then I had my little Dirty Shirley's and I was right back on the dance floor.

Yeah, we got right back into it. The DJ was incredible. Top to bottom, it was amazing. The thing that I found the craziest is like Heath and Mariah, like there was a little beautiful convertible outside of the wedding and it said "Just Married" on it. And like the entire time I'm like, when are they going to get in this fucking thing? And they got in it at 12:30.

Oh, they did?

Yeah, they did.

With the top down?

Yeah, I think so. I think they got in it when we were all leaving in Ubers.

I thought you were so drunk that you didn't know what was going on.

No, I saw videos after.

Oh, really?

Yeah. And I was like, oh, they got in it when all the Ubers came, which was crazy to me because I was like, oh my God, they were sober the entire time. Like the entire—

like, yeah, someone said, I'll have— someone saw Mariah's drink and they're like, I'll have what the bride's having because it looked good.

Yeah.

And then she was like, that's a Sprite. Yeah. There's nothing in here. Someone made an interesting comment at the wedding because you were having fun, and I think it was Scott, and he was like, he was like, yeah, he's like, you know, Dave just missed all this partying time, like, and now he's like trying to catch up now.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Heath came up to me like, like at the end when I was really drunk. He's like, Dave, thank you so much for like staying so long, getting really drunk. I'm like, Heath, this is the least I could do.

My pleasure.

Yeah, no, it was kind of crazy. That was like Yeah, yeah. I never got to do that with everybody, so it was really fun. I am really bummed I missed— I don't think I've ever been drunk with Heath. Oh, I am really— I am really bummed I got— I missed that. Um, so that kind of sucks. But there was— I remember there was one time in Vegas we almost all got drunk. And do you remember? Heath like took care of me. Heath and Mariah took care of me. We had the big—

the Caesars Palace.

Yeah, Caesars Palace. We had the beautiful Caesars Palace suite.

Yeah.

Okay. I almost wanna mention the hotel cuz I puked all over the room. But I remember that was the first time I got drunk.

I think around that.

Needless to say, we are not getting invited back to Caesar's Palace.

No, I can't go back to Caesar's Palace. But yeah, no, it was, it was really nice being able to like have such a good time with all our friends and just seeing somebody get married is so crazy. Every wedding I've gone to. Yeah.

Well, it's just crazy cuz it's them cuz they are out of like everybody in the friend group, like they're the longest standing relationship and there's like so much experience and things that they've had, like, with all of us. Like, it's crazy to see somebody like that that you're so, like, intertwined with.

Like, this is the first wedding where, like, I really knew the bride and the groom. Yeah.

Oh, yeah.

So that was really fucking crazy cool. Like, that was insane. Every wedding— by say every wedding, I mean the last two. So Joe's wedding, incredible. And this wedding. Yeah, they were both great. But every wedding, it starts off and I go, I would never do this. Like I'm standing in the lobby and I'm like, this is too much. Every— like, I'm sorry, I keep saying every, but it's been two. But like, but like, I'm like, why would people do this? This is so much. And then as the night goes on, I'm like, this is amazing. And then at the end I'm like, I totally get it. Like, I'm totally on board. I don't know what spooks me about the beginning. I think maybe I'm just like super anxious, like going into the wedding.

Well, it's, it's, you're asking every single person, you know, the older people, the younger people, to get dressed up, to go to a destination. Sometimes it's a lot of pressure. You're setting yourself up for like—

I think, yeah, I think I also just— I think it just makes me nervous to like stand at an altar and like, yeah, just everybody's watching. The whole churchy part of it. Like, I'm a religious guy, but like, it just makes me like nervous to do that part. But Heath and Mraz was really interesting because it was so quick, so well done, and I feel like it's perfect. I feel like that's a lot of the weddings nowadays, like people. What I see is like people are making that part like quicker, quicker.

They even came down the aisle quick.

Yeah.

All the other people were like fast, like the people before them that were— they were like athletes.

I had a really successful weekend. The night before, we went to the Watch King of New York City.

Oh yeah, tell me.

I've been keeping this low-key.

Okay.

Because like, except to your 10 million followers.

Yeah.

So for every social platform you've posted on.

Well, no, now I have, but I've been into watches recently.

Yeah.

Like for the last year or two. And I don't like talking about it because it's like from like the outside perspective, like I could understand how someone doesn't understand getting a watch. Like, it's like really stupid. But like, the way I fell into watches is like, I was like, oh my God, this is like the best investment you can make.

Yeah.

And I want to, I want to say that real quick. So I got this Rolex. There was this polka dot Rolex that came. It was called the Celebration Watch. And I was like, I don't fucking like watches, but I like this one because it's like so goofy and fun and it's a Rolex. And I was like, I'm going to make an investment because it's going to go up in value, whatever. I bought the watch, it was $35,000 on the gray market. So gray market means after you get the watch from Rolex, people resell it, and that's where I bought it because it's impossible to get a watch from the actual company like Rolex or Patek.

I can't go into a store and buy a Rolex right now?

No, you can't.

Really?

No, you'll be put on a waiting list and they'll call you. Now they'll call you in about 5 years.

Really?

And they'll be like, we have— and it's— and they'll offer you the first entry-level watch. That's what happens.

Wow.

It's a fucking huge pain in the ass to get a watch.

Wow.

It's a very pretentious, long game that you have to play.

Is that the only watch company like that?

No, it's all of them. It's all the big ones. All like the Rolex, Patek, Richard Mille. Like Richard Mille, I put down my name 3 years ago in Singapore. Haven't heard. Haven't gotten a call yet. Wow.

Anyway, the incentive there is when you get it at retail, it's inexpensive. You can obviously buy a watch like resold somewhere. Yeah, but it's double the price.

So, so, so, yeah. So here's the thing. So I bought this watch off the gray market for $35,000, and then I was in, I was in some place in like Sacramento, and I walked into a Rolex dealership and I hit it off with the lady there. Like, we were just like talking, and I guess she liked me. I don't know what it was, but she saw my watch and she's like, oh my God, congrats on the watch. And she's like, yeah, I just, I just got it. I bought off the gray market. She goes, what? You got it off the gray market? And I was like, yeah. She's like, so how much did you pay for it? I'm like, $35,000. And she's like, return that right now. I'll get you from here in 2 weeks. So I returned it.

And you can return on the gray market?

Yeah, because I got it within the week.

Oh, wow.

And I returned it, got all my money back. And she called me 2 weeks later and she had the same watch for me for $6,000.

Wow.

So the second I walk out of Rolex, that watch has now 5x'd in price.

Wow.

Which is so fucking crazy, and they don't do that. I got really lucky, and that's what got me into it. I was like, oh my god, I just paid $6,000, and immediately my investment has 5x'd. I can go— I could go and, and sell this thing right now and make $29,000, which is not what you want to do because you want to build your relationship. So you don't— you shouldn't sell any of the watches, but that's how it is.

So So you still have that one?

Still have it.

Yeah.

So all my watches won't really ever sell until like shit hits the fan or, or I have kids, which is also shit hitting the fan. I walked into this watch dealership. There's this watch I've always been wanting. I pointed to it. It's hard to say how much it goes for because there's only like a couple of them that have been made in the world, but they're listed for around $300,000. And I'm like, I don't want that. It's too expensive. And he goes, okay, I'll make you a deal. Let's do a coin flip. If you lose, you could take it for $200,000, and if you win, you could take the watch for $100,000. This really confused me because I was like, it's already— you're already giving me basically $100,000 off the watch, which I guess kind of was like— I think he did it just so I could bite and actually do— he was doing me a favor so I could actually do the coin flip.

Yeah.

So this is a hard thing for me to say no to. I've never done a coin flip in my life for $100,000. I think the biggest gamble I've ever taken was like 10 grand, 20 grand? No.

Well, I would— oh, on a coin flip specifically?

No, just like gambling, like roulette.

We did 50 grand in Vegas.

Yeah, but I didn't put any money in. That was all my friends.

Okay.

Yeah. So that's—

so the coin flip is $300,000 or you pay $100,000?

Okay. So he's already knocking $100,000 off, right?

Yeah. So I'm already like, even if I lose, I'm good. And then, yeah, after, after talking to my friends for a little and Joe and Natalie, I was like, fuck it. The vibes feel really good here. I'm going to take the coin flip.

Vibes are good.

I mean, you could just feel it sometimes.

Times when like the energy like was like there was good like aura.

Yeah, I said no, but like I do, it felt very like vlog energy and I was like, okay, like, is there something about, about this right now that like feels like I'm gonna win? So I'm just gonna go for it. And yeah, I won the flip. I have no idea how. I'm like 7 for 7 on flips on camera or like any kind of gambles on camera. It's kind of incredible. I'm very lucky.

Incredible luck you have. It's unreal. And Joe is claiming that the quarter hit foot. Is that true?

Yeah, I watched that back. It didn't hit his foot. No, no, but Joe, Joe texted me. He's like, you know, I kicked the coin for you. And I'm like, Joe, I'm editing it right now. It didn't touch your foot. But regardless, don't fucking touch the coin next time.

But yeah, so what if it did hit his foot and then you lost?

Oh my God, that's the thing. That's the thing. If I lost that flip, it would have ruined the entire weekend for me. Guys, none of this would be possible without our sponsor of today's podcast, which is SeatGeek. On my little brief sheet here, it always says do an opening hook. SeatGeek does not need an introduction. No, no, they put my kids through school. They put through high school. Yeah, through freshman and sophomore year of Charlie and Wyatt's high school, um, which is why I want to give them a big shout out. They have over 28 million downloads now. SeatGeek is the number one rated ticketing app. There are more than 70,000 events listed on SeatGeek, including concerts, sports festivals, and more. They do not— you cannot use SeatGeek to purchase cars. I know people come up to me and they're like, can, can you get a car from SeatGeek? No. It's a whole different thing we do. And right now you can get tickets to the recently announced Weekend Kendrick Lamar and SZA tour. Tyler, The Creator, Katy Perry, Morgan Wallen, Post Malone, Dua Lipa, Tate McRae, and more. Have you been to a live event using SeatGeek?

It's so many.

Which one was your recent one?

All of them. Tyler, The Creator, Dave Chappelle.

You love Dave Chappelle.

I took Wyatt to see Herbie Hancock once, who's like a famous jazz musician.

Oh really?

Incredible.

Herbie Hancock, that sounds like, like a Like, when I think of that name, I think of like a really cool grasshopper or ladybug with a saxophone in his hand.

He is just that, exactly.

Right on. Well guys, listen, SeatGeek has your back. Each ticket is rated on a scale of 1 to 10, so you know you're getting a good deal. So look for the green dots. Green means good, red means bad. Plus, every ticket is backed by the buyer guarantee. And you know I came through for you guys. I came through for you guys. So you can— it's just like the subtle flex.

Ah! David, did you come through again?

I did this. Nice for the audience. You can now use code VIEWS10 for 10% off your next set of tickets at SeatGeek. That's 10% off any tickets with promo code VIEWS10. Make sure to click the link in the description to download the app and have the code automatically added to your account so you can use it later. Thank you, SeatGeek. Code VIEWS10 for 10% off tickets on SeatGeek. Thank you, guys. I had a really good time in New York. People are really trying to convince me and Natalie to move there.

Yeah. Yeah, we're getting—

You lived there for a little bit. Is it worth it?

So fun.

Is it like— I feel like Natalie and I are at the age where maybe we'd enjoy New York more than LA. Yeah, LA's kind of leaning like younger, it feels like.

Yeah, it's just hard to find places to go out here where like there's people that are also 30 and not just like, yeah, freshly 21 at this bar or nightclub or whatever.

There was nothing about New York that felt—

everyone's older, sophisticated, just feels like they kind of have like their shit together. I don't know. Yeah, nothing about New York felt young, but New York is also like rated the number one city or the worst city in America to date.

Like, no, no, I thought LA is. No, New York.

What?

New York's number one, dude.

That's why I'm like really worried about like finding one person. It's like spooking me.

Would you guys move there? I, I know it's tough living there.

100%.

That's like, like, why do you say that?

Hey, you gotta take the subway, you gotta— it gets cold, it's an apartment, there's a guy masturbating outside your house, uh, you know, that's sick. I would do like, you know, it's tough.

I would be bicoastal. Like, I would do like the 6 or the months in New York.

Bicoastal is the worst.

Why?

You can't be in two places at once. I did it once. It's the worst.

Why is that bad?

People call you, they're like, come on over, like, we're having this huge thing. I'm like, I'm in New York. Like, all right. Then you go back to LA, they're like, come on over, we're doing this thing. Like, I'm in LA, right?

And then you're out of the loop a little bit in one place.

Bicoastal is the worst.

But I'm just saying, like, you do like 6 months, like, you— everyone knows you're there for that chunk of time, and then the other chunk of time is LA. I just don't know if I'm down to go live in an apartment right now at this point in my life. It feels like—

oh, I, I feel like if I was to go to a place, it'd be Miami. Me. Like, if I was to move to a little bit— like, I want something like year-round hot and humid and mosquito-y. That's kind of what I'm looking for.

I feel like we've really tapped into the LA community and the LA people, and New York is just like a whole new—

and there's no one here.

Yeah, I just like— I feel like we really know it, which is great. It's why I love it. Yeah, it's easy to navigate. But New York is like new people. It's fresh. It's fun.

I do feel like we've maxed out who we know in LA.

Well, you would be— you, you guys would be, uh, bigger stars in New York than here.

Why?

I just think that there's less people doing what you guys do.

Oh my God. I will say I've never been approached more in my life.

Yeah, yeah, that was pretty crazy.

Than on the streets in New York.

Me too.

And I thought New York was like— everybody brags about— dude, I fucking— I love when people do this because I think it's so lame. It's like, what are you bragging about? It's like, in New York you can walk right next to Martin Scorsese and you won't say anything because you know better. Like, that's why— those are all the stories I hear about New York, which I'm like, cool, okay, whatever. Like, people do that in LA too. But like, I went out to film this thing with my sisters where I was like doing like a house tour and never in my life have I been stopped more. I felt like fucking Adam Sandler. I was like, what the fuck is going on? Yeah, it was like, I think I saw 14 people and 11 of them asked me for a picture. That's never happened to me. I don't know if I hit like a, like a weird rush of people, but like, it was really bizarre.

When we did— when we did Views Live, we went to so many cities And I remember the New Jersey, New York crowds just being the best for some reason. They were just like the most fervent, the most fun, the smartest.

I never know what to respond to this when people like— I met some girl at the gym and this was after like I've taken like a couple of photos at the gym, whatever, not a big deal. And it's like I've taken like 5 or 6 photos and then this girl recognizes me like by the weights. She's like, can I ask for a photo? And I'm like, yeah, of course. She's like, She's like, is it weird, like, not being recognized here? Like, no one's coming up to me. And like, I'm not going to be like, I'm not going to say like, no, 5 or 6 people already take photos of me. I sound like the biggest douche.

Don't worry, you'll be recognized.

Yeah, I really was like, well, I'll let you know.

Just hang around a little bit.

It'll happen. Yeah, that's really funny. Or then you'll get somebody on the opposite side of that and they'll be like, don't worry. I'll keep it lowkey. Let's just do the photo. And they'll be like, let's just take it quick. I don't want you to get mobbed. And they're being dead serious. I'm like, I'm not going to get mobbed. Like, you're good. You could shout my name right now and everything will be completely fine. That's my favorite thing.

Wyatt was telling me when I was talking about like, I miss like the— I like the culture of New York, like art and stuff like that. And he was saying he has a friend who's blowing up on Instagram, who takes pictures of people's buttholes. Wow. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Wait, what? Like raw?

Yeah, like raw.

Wait, what? Where does your son go to school?

He goes to school in the city somewhere.

Wait, why are you giving so little background to this story? What do you mean takes pictures of—

He's literally cracking me up for the last 4 days. I'll just think it to myself. I'll be like, can I take a shot of your butthole?

Is it Buttholes Anonymous? Or like, does he tag the assholes or no?

I guess the way—

Assholes of New York?

The way it comes up. Yeah, the way it comes out on Instagram is you can't tell it's a butthole.

So wait, what's it called?

Uh, I don't know. He told me, I forgot the guy's name. But—

and he's blowing up? Are you fucking with us? What are you saying, Jay?

Well, he's— I think he does all kinds of art, but that's just like one of the things he does. He'll like take pics, pictures of like women and like crabs and, uh, what? But I just love shit like that. Like, I love—

like, it could be S2D crabs.

No, no, no. Like an actual— like a stone crab. Like a—

like— okay, so he's a photographer and he's taking pictures of one or two buttholes.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Okay, you made it sound like it's a dedicated assholes page.

Yeah, it's just a cool thing. Like, back in the day, you would know— when I lived in New York, there would be people like that, you know, that would shit in a pizza box or whatever. Like, stuff like that. That's like for art's sake. But you wouldn't know about it because there's no Instagram. But now the guy's blowing up, you know?

Well, I feel like it's cool. The pizza box is still kind of like— we went to the box And I know that's why you're bringing it up.

Did you go again?

Yeah, we go. We go every time. I don't know if you're supposed to go as frequently as we go, but like—

What does that mean?

Well, I feel like—

Why wouldn't you go as much as you want?

Because the Box, I feel like, like, I feel like it should be like a once in a few times treat. Yeah. Like, yeah, it's like a treat. So like, like the Box, if you don't know, there's one in London and there's one in New York. And like when you walk into the Box, It seems like a regular bar and like maybe like a club, but there's a stage and every hour past like midnight or something, they do a show and the shows vary. So like, and they're very intense shows. So like one of the shows I've seen, and this is going to be crazy. So if you're listening to this with your parents, turn up the volume because they're not going to believe this. There's like one show where like a woman will come on stage and she'll sew her vagina shut. In front of everybody, like stitch it shut in front of everyone. It's really fucking insane. The show we got this time, there's a man or a woman that had breasts and a penis. And basically first they run around the room. This is completely real. They run around the room and they try to get someone to blow them. This is insane. I can't believe it's really hard to explain this on the pod because you're going to feel it's going to feel like I went like through layers and layers of people to get to this place. Like this is like some dark corner of—

No, no, it's literally very popular. I walk right by it.

It's right next to like 7-Eleven.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, yeah, I know.

Everyone knows. Oh, that's the box.

Everybody knows the box.

Everybody can get in too.

Yeah, so first—

You wait in line, you can get in.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. So first this person goes and sees who would blow them. I've never seen anybody say yes to the blowjob, even though she's very, like, she'll grab people's heads and be like, come on, blow me. And then she'll just like resort to like humping somebody, like dry humping somebody.

Yeah.

And then this particular show, which is very similar to a show we had before, if you've listened to the podcast, we may have talked about this, It's gonna sound like another show we've seen there before, but she'll take a pizza, she put her penis through the pizza, so now that like the little pizza slice is spinning around the penis, and then she takes another pizza slice that doesn't have a hole in it, and she turns around, so now you see her asshole, which would be a great place for your friend to go and take pictures. You see her asshole, and she, and she shits on top of the slice, like a really good healthy poop.

Really big poop.

Really big poop. And now normally what I've seen is she shits on the pizza box with the pizza, and then she takes the slices and she starts throwing them into the audience. This time she didn't throw it, and thank God, because it was like the biggest poop I've seen on this pizza slice. Instead, she takes a bite out of the top of the poop, and the curtains close, and then that's the show. And then you look at your friends and you go, yeah, shot. And then you go and you take a shot, and then the night continues, and then club around 3 or 4, and those shows kind of happen. Yeah, it's kind of crazy. I don't know, like, how can you throw poop at the audience? Like, no one's signing anything where they come in where they're like, yeah, I'm good with everything.

Yeah, the public health department.

Yeah. Or is it just like an unspoken thing between everybody where it's like, yeah, fuck it?

I think, you know, I'm assuming also, like, if you buy a table right next to the stage downstairs, like, they give you some sort of, like, heads up, like, just so you know.

Oh yeah, yeah. That's why every time we go, I'm sitting upstairs.

We're upstairs.

Yeah.

Like, you sit down— like, I remember we ran into some friends and they're like, come sit with us, we have front row seats. I'm like, Holy shit, you've never been here. I will be upstairs. Yeah. So like, yeah, no, because front row always gets picked on. It's like, yeah, it's like I get scared of sitting at the front row at the Blue Man Group because I don't want like a marshmallow to be thrown at me. Like, this is like next level Blue Man Group. No, but it's a really good spot. I highly recommend. I remember I took my hometown friends, like everybody I live with, Ilya.

Yeah.

Alex and John in there for the first time. I think it's something with like Midwestern people that may not like that shit.

Yeah.

But they were like, after we left, they were like, why did you take us there? And normally we're like pretty on point with like, with like what we think is fun experiences. Yeah. But like that would— I've never seen them look at me like that. They were like, Dave, there's something wrong with you. That was crazy. You should not be enjoying that. I was thinking about this the other day and like, because we've been watching Star Wars And like, do you think that aliens, like, I'm sure there's aliens monitoring our planet to some extent, but like, they think we're probably really— do you think they think we're lame because of all our like internal conflicts? Like if I was an alien, because I feel like there are definitely other solar systems and like galaxies and parts of the universe that like have intergalactic battles. Right. And I feel like we may be one of the only planets We may be one of the only planets that we're like constantly fighting ourselves. Like, doesn't it sound so pathetic if you look at the whole universe that we have armies to defend from our own little— doesn't that?

Yeah, but who's to say aliens aren't petty too? I mean, who's to say they don't have a war with Glaxon 5 or something?

But I just, I just think the thing— I think like we need to be more united and like, I don't know how to— like, I'm not trying to sound like I'm trying to save the world and like bring peace, but like, I feel like if we had a bigger enemy—

well, yes, I've always thought that.

Like, if If we had a bigger enemy, I feel like humans would really get along.

Yes, yes, I've always thought that too. Like, you'd have to pair up with Putin and everybody would have to come together to fight the aliens. And I think there's a few movies like that.

Yes. And like, isn't that kind of beautiful? Like, to have a common enemy?

Dude, I started crying the other day. I saw this guy, he just gives out sandwiches to homeless people. I was full-on fucking bawling last night.

Wait, why is that a common enemy?

Well, it's not a common enemy, but it just made me think of like—

Oh, like, just like humans.

Like, that makes me cry. What you just said.

Aliens attacking and coming together?

No, the idea of the idea of like all walks of life coming together. So why did all races coming together like that? Like, makes me like tear up. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

It is beautiful.

Yeah, it's beautiful.

Why did this homeless— why did the sandwich guy make you cry?

Because he's so brilliant with what he does. He's like—

he's like a TikTok thing.

He's a TikTok guy. And he's just like, he goes into the store, he goes into the restaurant. And he's like, hey, I'm gonna pay for 20 sandwiches, 20 pizzas for the homeless.

I've seen this. And the store goes, yep, fuck it, we'll give you another 100.

Yes, yes, yes, yes. That's the part that gets me, is that the restaurant owner—

like, hey, I just called the owner and the owner wants to give you a free 100 pizzas.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Or the one I saw, the owner came out and he was like, fuck it, man, we're doing 40.

Yeah.

And he's like, no, no, no, you don't have to, man, I'll just pay for 20. He's like, no, no, no, no, no, no, we know what you do. He's like, you gotta feed those homeless people today. And then it's like, it's like, oh man, I start crying.

That is nice. Those little acts of humanity, I feel like, are a good vibe. Have you ever done anything nice for another person?

Never.

Damn. Oh, I did.

We did something nice on the streets of New York the other day. We were walking and this woman, this like old woman, she had a bunch of packages, like really, really heavy shit. And this Uber just like peels away and she goes, you're just gonna leave me here?

Like that.

She goes, she's putting her hands up, she's like, I can't lift the packages. Oh, that's amazing.

It was like a video game.

Yeah, exactly. And we were walking up at that, it's like a side quest.

Yeah, help women or ignore her.

Yeah, we had, we had 4 strong dudes with us and, uh, and I said, uh, take your pick. I was like, who do you, who do you want to help you? We'll help you up.

Wow, that is nice.

Then she offered me money and, uh, she goes, I don't have any cash. And I go, no, no, no, no, no, no.

That was No, no, it's not cash. It's Cash App. Yeah.

And then something really good happened to me right after that. Like, I got a work call about something really good. And then I was like, to Navina, I was like, we have to keep doing nice things.

That's really fun. How has your work life been, Jay? You've quit going TikTok Live.

TikTok Live is no more. I miss it. And then, yeah, just doing podcasts.

Have you been making more money?

Yeah, I'm getting some brand deals, doing, doing stuff, you know.

What are you going to spend all the money on?

Fucking pay my house off.

This is good.

Pay the college off. Pay the high school off.

Do you still believe in—

Pay you back the $400,000 I borrowed.

I feel like we've always tried. We've always tried talking about your, your children's high school, but we've never really talked about it.

Right.

I feel like we always end up cutting it out or something. Yes, we should talk about it because I think, I think it is interesting.

Yeah.

Um, Jay's, Jay's kids go to— well, went to— well, how many kids do you have left that go to it? Just one?

I just have one. Yeah, I have two kids.

So two kids go to this high school, and for some reason in LA—

well, one's in college now. Yes, yes.

But when he went to high school— okay, how— I'll just get right to it. How much is the high school for your kids a month?

Uh, it's, uh It's $50,000 a year.

$50,000 for a school year?

Yeah.

For high school? Yeah. For two kids or for one kid?

One kid.

That's fucking insane.

That's crazy.

So, so, so when people are— yeah, so Jay's financials, yeah, people are like, well, why is he— what is he spending the money on? And Jay, to his credit, he takes care of his kids like no other. Would some argue that he spoils his kids? Yes. Natalie and I have this argument all the time, and then Jay rebuttals back and it's like, what am What am I supposed to do? Postmates is expensive. And the Uber to Calabasas.

We don't use Postmates.

I know you don't now. I know you don't now.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

But when—

No, back in the day though, when I was having a lot of money coming in, I spent it all on private high school.

On Postmates.

On private high schools.

Yeah.

Jay doesn't blow his money on— So, yeah, so people will be like, well, I don't get it. Is he bad with his money or does he not make a lot of money? I think it's a little mix and the bad Is he— he— okay, no, Jay makes good money, but the way he treats his kids is like they're the kings and the queens of the universe.

He was like making real, real good money.

Yeah. Jay treats his kids like he's a billionaire, which is great and horrible at the same time. $50,000 a year for one kid to go to high school is fucking madness. So that's what, $200K for the full year for one kid, $200K for the other year, and you haven't even hit college yet. And that's because you think public school in LA is like a scary place for kids to be, or like what's the argument there?

Well, the problem is, is we sent one to the private high school and he's killing it. He's just like had the best time and he had the best experience and he met his bandmates there and blah blah blah blah blah. And I was doing fine during those times, those 4 years. I paid for all of it. Yeah. Because I had a lot of money. Then it came time for Charlie to go to high school and it's like, well—

Is she in her senior year yet?

No, she's a sophomore.

Oh my God. So you still have 2 and a half more years to pay. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Dude, that is no fucking joke.

So it wasn't really fair to be like, you're going to public, your brother got to go to private. Yeah. And that's all. And that's all it is. And for people listening, you know, the schools in LA, the school system where we live is not the best.

But you don't think like them going to public school will give them like, like you don't, you think Wyatt couldn't have found his bandmates? Like, I feel like if you're going to find any kind, I feel like if you're going to find band people, you could literally find them anywhere. Right? Like musicians kind of exist all walks of life. Like you don't need to be in the bougiest school. You could quite literally be maybe even in the worst school to find the best musician bandmates.

Sure.

But you don't think he would have had the same experience in like the grungiest of public schools?

Could have. Could have had the most.

You just don't want to take that risk. If you had a third kid now, would you send them to public or private?

Public.

Public.

Yeah. And of course, a lot of this, all of these decisions are shared with my ex-wife. Life. So yeah, there's conversations like, do you want to send him here? And then it's like, okay, let's do it. And then— and she's great, you know, she's been great, she's really helped a lot. Um, but, um, yeah, we're just in the middle of it.

And I'm on Cameo, guys, so go check out Jay so you could pay for this. No, no, that's, that's pretty noble. Oh dude, you know what I thought about a lot this weekend that I've never thought about more?

What?

It's like, why don't Natalie and I hook up? I've never thought about it.

I keep thinking you guys are together and no one's telling me. I I keep having dreams. I'll have a dream at night and you guys will come to me and you'll be like, well, it only happened once, but you'll be like, we're together, we're together. And I'll be like, what? What? No one told me. And I'm like the last to know. That's my—

I don't know why I thought about it more than ever. It's because I think I saw a meme on Instagram and it was like going home with my significant other at 3:15 and they were like yapping in the taxi cab, just having a good time. And it was like knowing that we have each other at the end of the night. And it's like, that's me and Natalie every night. Every night it's just me and her like in our Uber going back. And I'm like, fuck, we have half of it, but we're just not attracted to each other.

You're not?

No.

And if you would start dating, would you tell everybody?

Yeah, for sure.

Would you tell me?

If we— if Nat and I were attracted to each other, I feel like it would have— like, we would have probably started dating like 2 years ago, right?

For sure.

Yeah. Yeah.

Why aren't you attracted to him?

She's just not. I shouldn't speak for her. I feel like I always jump in there in those moments.

I also just— it's like, it's not that— I feel like saying you're not attracted is like— because I think you're a good-looking person. It's a little bit deeper than that.

Maybe this is the conversation we needed to have.

You know, like David is not, doesn't like, like I love him to death, but I just don't know if he exudes like husband material for me.

Ooh.

And I also like—

I could see that.

We spend so much time together. We share so many amazing experiences together.

It's like, why would we get married?

Yeah, it would really complicate things. And we work.

Wait, hold on. I have a question. If I was like, Natalie, I really like you.

I'd be like, hell yeah, let's get it on.

I was gonna say, because like, I know, like, I know what she's saying.

Yeah.

And like, I'm not her husband vibe, and that's because I feel like I'm not manly enough. I think Natalie—

Yes, you are a little boy. You're a little boy that I take care of every single day.

Natalie takes care of me.

Oh, that's a big one.

Yeah, which is like totally fine. Like, I don't want to be taken care of. Or I don't want— I don't have to take care of Natalie. Like, I like that she— I like, like, like, even when we're at the club in the bar and a girl starts talking to me and she's like, where do we go next? I'm like, I don't know, I have to ask Natalie. Like, everything I run through Natalie. And I don't know, just because I just feel like calmer knowing that she's calling the Uber and that she knows where we're going next.

That's nice.

But even when I get married, it'll be Natalie, which is kind of nice. It'll be Natalie and my wife. Dude, I'll be double taken care of. It'll be insane. Oh my God. Could you imagine me maxing out on just not doing anything? No, but okay. Okay. So yeah, Natalie, if I like came onto you, like not in like a sexual way, but like if I was just like, if I was like, hey, listen, like maybe we should, we should just see, I kind of, you should explore this. Yeah. What would you say?

I would be very confused. I would be like, what are you saying? I don't think you're in your right state of mind.

Okay. Right on. That was actually a really nice way of putting it. But yeah, to me, I don't think it's as deep as Natalie puts it with the whole— because Natalie is mentally kind of the package for me. That is what I would look for.

Do you think if you walked outside and a bucket of paint fell on your head, you would maybe fall in love with Natalie? If you had a switch in your brain?

Oh, okay. Like I ended up in the hospital and Natalie's there.

If he's dying, he's on his deathbed, that's enough to get me.

No, like he wakes up in the hospital and—

Yeah, you're over me and we have like, like, and I don't remember any of our childhood. Oh yeah, I don't remember anything about Natalie that like turns me and rubs me the wrong way, and we're restarting quite possibly, and I forgot everything I know about beautiful women. No, no, and all the women are also dead and I'm in the hospital and it's just Natalie.

Yeah, but it's like the history and context like that makes our friendship like what it is, you know?

Yeah.

Wait, did you have your day?

Oh shit, Natalie's date. Oh yeah, fuck yeah, go ahead, talk about bitch.

So he canceled.

Knew it. No, this is why I told you he should have come over that night because I knew, I knew he was gonna fucking cancel. I knew it, I knew it.

Well then why would I want to— why would I do that?

You're right, you're right, you're right, you're right, you're right. It's very rare. I don't know, I always think people— I like—

that's why we need to move, bro. I can't be doing this like wishy-washy with men here. It's just so annoying.

The worst part is he canceled without making any future plans.

It's men everywhere.

Yeah, he was just like, oh, work came up tonight.

What do you think's going on there, Dave?

I don't know. I think he just like— he was drunk and in the moment, he was like, yeah, I'm kind of feeling it. And then maybe he just wasn't.

No, no, he texted her the next day.

I think the next day he was still probably getting like off that high. I don't know. I also think it's like It's happened to me, like where I was going to make— where I made plans with girls and then either I call it off or they call it off like the night before. And it's just like, you're just like, really? Do I want to do this? I can't do it, dude. And I'm in such— you know what I hate? This is my big— this is my biggest red flag. And I wish it wasn't this way. Like when a girl starts talking to me. Oh no, I hate saying this because it fucking sucks. Like, I hate when Oh, I'm talking to a girl and she's like, I love doing activities. She's like, every day I want to do something. Like, I want to go painting, or like, I want to go snowboarding, bike riding. I want to go pick strawberries. Like, I just want to do things. And every time I hear that, I go, I don't want to do any of that. I don't want to do any of that. And, and like, I know listening to this girl, it sounds like the coolest thing. And like, that is like, that's what guys look for, right? Like an adventurous, fun, like quirky girl. Like, I want to go out and just explore LA and just go and take spontaneous trips. And I'm always like, mm, like I barely want to watch movies. I just want to sleep and cuddle. That's all I want to do. Yeah, and I feel like I'm like, fuck, I'm never gonna find anybody.

For the right person, you would go picture—

like, that's why I feel like I almost need to find one of the busiest people that like is so busy with work that when they come home they're just tired. And I'm like, me too.

Yeah, but I think, I think, I think you're missing something, which is you're busy as hell. You go out like all day and do stuff and go to things.

Well, I think my big—

I think you just do that with your partner.

Yeah, I don't know. I also think it gets different when you, when like, when you fall in love, then I think you, you want to do everything with that person. And then you're like, yeah, I will go fucking go pick strawberries with you. Then I think it's different. But I think getting to that stage, I just don't have the patience or energy for anymore. Do you Do you, do you understand what I'm saying?

That, yeah, a little bit.

Even in New York, there's this great girl I was talking to and she's like, let's go get coffee tomorrow. And like, I'm like, what time? What time? I'm like, are you nuts? Like, you want me to wake up at like a reasonable hour and get coffee with you in the morning?

I just think that you've had so much life experience that you're just like kind of exhausted, like rightfully so.

But is that not like the stupidest thing to say?

Like, things like that don't like stimulate you, right?

Yeah, well said.

Yeah.

And like, like, I'll always want to hang out at the house. Like, that's my main thing. And I think it's like my house has a lot of activities, so like I feel like I get everything done here. Whereas, I don't know, am I leaning on to something here? And now, like, does— am I making sense of like why I like to stay home more than like your average show?

That's what I'm saying, is like you are so— like your, your daily life— not daily, but like your life is so overstimulating when it, when it has to You know, like, your work is very stimulating.

Yeah.

Oh, okay. I never looked at it that way.

Yeah. So like, you genuinely— like, you just don't want to— like, you're doing so much when we're working or when we're filming or we're doing whatever that, like, the other 50, 60% of the time, like, needs to just be like, I'm hungering down on the couch doing—

yeah. There's so many times we go to do stuff and then you pop into my mind and I go, no, he wouldn't want to do that.

Yeah.

Or maybe like, invite David, and I'll be like, nah, he won't like that. She's like, really?

And I'm like, nope, he won't The thing I do love, I just love sitting on the couch. Like this week we have to go to Columbus, Ohio for like—

for what?

We're going to this Young LA thing.

Oh, nice.

Where we're going to—

it's like Young LA has this big booth at the Arnold Expo.

Oh, Ilya told me about that. So cool.

And every time we hang out with the Young LA guys, we like end up going out and drinking.

Sure. I've been to Columbus. It's kind of fun.

I'm excited because like, I like those Midwest cities where it's like more low-key.

It's low-key and fun.

I think it's going to be awesome. Awesome. Natalie's convinced that we're not gonna have to drink. And right after Columbus, we take, uh, we take a connecting flight to Vegas. So this weekend, again, every weekend this week, or every weekend for the next 2 weeks, we're like basically going somewhere.

So 2 weekends? No, no, sorry, it's not that crazy.

For the next couple months, like, we're always going somewhere every weekend. And it's like, and yeah, I think that adds to like the stimulation of this whole thing. Like, there's an activity plan for work all the time, and our work is the most fun and stimulating thing. So yes, when I meet somebody and they want to do like, they want to go bike riding on Venice Boulevard, I'm like, there's no way. There's no possible way I can do it. And I feel like such a fucking asshole.

Like, well, that's what makes it so hard. It's like, I think about that too. Like, I, I'm doing so much and I'm so busy, right? Like, how the fuck— I have to find someone that falls into my groove. Like, I don't want to sacrifice my amazing life.

You guys are turning into the same person.

Like, how do I— how am I gonna find a man?

This is exactly why I say— wow, I had this weird epiphany this weekend where like, not epiphany, where I had this weird thought. I was like, why don't Natalie and I, like, hook up?

First of all, don't say hook up.

I don't—

like, I'm going to be like your side piece.

Oh my God, she's like, if we're going to do this, we're going full force and there's no— and we're exclusive. I'm not some side chick. I'm your main hoe.

Make a move, man.

All right, guys, that's all the time we have for today's podcast.

That's the end.

Yeah, why? Thank you guys for for listening. Um, go check out Jay's podcast. It's a good, good listen.

All Good Things.

I haven't listened to it yet. I'm just vouching for it. It sounds good. I know you.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

So it's gotta be good.

Yeah, it's gotta be great.

Yeah, yeah. Um, All Good Things. Go check it out where all podcasts live. And go check out Natalie's Instagram stories. Okay, okay. We'll see you guys later. Bye-bye.