Blocking My Ex-Wife on Instagram

What's up, guys? Welcome back to Views. Jason's been recently losing weight. Oh, wait, that's how these start. What's up, guys? Welcome back to Views. Jason's fat. No, I'm kidding. That's not what I meant.

Roll the intro.

I meant to say, what's up, guys? Welcome to Views, the podcast where Jason looks like he's been losing a lot of weight.

Thank you very much, David. Yes.

But then again, you also just had 5 slices of pizza.

Oh, well, yeah. Okay, maybe.

So Jason recently just found the weight. He lost it and then he went around the corner to the pizza store and found it.

I'm an archaeologist for—

wait, wait, wait.

For fatso's.

I roll the intro. Boom. That was our intro. That's fucking great. I love getting this. I love getting all this started with a little bit of music.

A little what?

I don't even know what the intro sounds like at this point because I don't listen to our podcast.

You don't listen?

No. No, you listen to these back? Oh yeah. What's the point?

I just like to hear you. I like to, I like to hear the little funny parts.

You turn off your side of the podcast and you just listen to me?

Yeah, I turn you down. No, I recreate my part. I say the things I wish I could say to your face. You call me fat and then I, I only have your audio and I go, it's me. Yo, screw you, David.

Me going, what's up, what's up guys, welcome to Views. And you're like, what's up guys, welcome back to Views.

Guys, it's 12:47 on a Wednesday night.

David was supposed to record this podcast, but I went out and I got lit, boy.

No, David doesn't drink. He's not that much fun.

Don't let him, uh, today I was, I was at a party with that rumor. I was at a party and, uh, the guy—

I was there too.

No, I went to one after. Oh, and the guy that owned the house was pouring people drinks. And I came up to him, I'm like, dude, I'm with a fucking bitch of a friend, bro. He just wants water with ice. And he's like, seriously? I'm like, yeah, but pour me vodka, bro. And then he poured me two glasses and I, and I set the vodka down and I left and I went to go drink my water. I thought it was funny. Obviously I don't care if I order water, but I just thought I'd pretend like I was too cool to say I drink water.

It's a nice little joke for yourself.

It was just for me. And I thought that I could say it on the podcast and we'd all have a good laugh.

I like when you got turned away tonight. You were all confident. David was looking good. He was at this room.

I was looking good.

Yeah, you got your— he's in all black, says black hat, his black Under Armour, his hips, his hip sneaks, um, his $800 sneakers.

Yeah, so first we were at a party, uh, thrown on by the A-List. Yep, the A-List is the best. Our girl Cassandra works there. She needs a raise.

Good to us.

Hook her up. She's doing great. Um, it was like Zendaya's party or something.

It was Zendaya. I don't know who Zendaya is.

She— dude, she's huge.

Is she a singer?

She's— no, it's so funny because she's on American Idol. I was just having this conversation with my assistant. I'm like, what does she do?

Food Network?

She's, um, she was on Shake It Up or something.

What the hell is that?

Shake It Off?

Sounds like an infomercial.

Shake it up! You got a stain on your shirt? No problem, shake it up! And that brings me to our first ad. Shake it up, it's an amazing service. No, um, she's, um, she would— you know Bella Thorne? Yeah, she was her co-star. That's how they blew up. They blew up together.

What's Bella Thorne from?

Bella Thorne is from— I know Bella Thorne is Shake It Off. I think that's what it's called. Is that—

it's a dance show?

Yeah, it's a show on Nickelodeon or Disney.

And, and also Zendaya is like a child star.

Yes, but she's huge now. She has like over 40 million followers on Instagram.

Oh, huge.

Really? Yeah, it's like unreal.

And she's an actor.

She's Liza's favorite person. I told you the story.

You told me.

Yeah, I went up to her to introduce Liza, and it was a—

you're not supposed to tell that's that person's name. Yeah, you're supposed to X that out.

Well, who cares? Um, anyway, well, that's done with. Um, yeah, the party was great. Snoop Dogg came. Yeah, which is fucking sick. Snoop Dogg is Jason's age, right?

Snoop and I are exactly the same age.

How old is he?

We went to high school together.

Really?

Yeah.

How was he in high school?

Uh, he's quiet.

Really?

Yeah.

Was he rapping on the side?

Yeah, he was doing a lot of rapping.

He had a lot of friends in high school.

He used to wrap Christmas gifts down at Bloomingdale's.

Really? Yeah. How did he get his start though? Some people say that you actually gave him the start.

Well, I don't like to take credit for Snoop's career, but yeah, we had a little band back in the day.

What was the band called?

It was called, um, it was called Snoop and J.

Really?

Yeah.

So you kind of just got rid of the J part and just pursued a solo career?

Yeah, I mean, we had our differences.

Yeah.

You know, he really thought rap was gonna be a big thing. I told him it wouldn't.

I heard you guys broke up because you thought you were outshining him.

Yeah, well, yeah, basically, you know, I had a lot of people that wanted to sign me as well.

Yeah, so you fucking left. Fifth Harmony just broke up.

Oh, really?

Yeah, they're all— do you know who Fifth Harmony is? Absolutely no fucking idea.

Do they sing Single Ladies?

Um, no, that's Beyoncé.

I did something to you the other day. We went to a concert last night. And I did such a dad thing. I said, is this the band that you were talking about before? And you're like, no, no, that was a different band. And I was like, oh yeah, of course. So many bands reach out to you.

Fifth Harmony is, um, shit.

Fifth Harmony, that's the girl. Oh, I know Fifth Harmony.

Work, you can work from home, home.

You're making it up.

No, I'm not.

You mean work, work, work, work, work.

No, no, not that one.

I know Fifth Harmony.

Yeah, yeah, you know.

Talk Dirty to Me.

I think that's Jason Derue. I don't know. Please don't look it up.

I have to.

Fifth Harmony, it's with Camila Cabello. Camilla Cabello. Camilla Cabello. Oh, oh, oh, but that's just Camila because she just.

Okay, this half of my heart is in her. Let me just sing for the 40 minutes he took me back. Here's Fifth Harmony's number one song. This is their most popular song on itunes.

What is it called?

Work from Home.

Yeah, this is the one.

Oh, okay.

Don't play. We're going to get copyrighted on the fucking podcast. Yeah, you never know. Okay, so yeah, so we were at this party. Snoop Dogg.

When I work from home.

Who else was at this party?

I spray my wrist now. I got to work from home.

Who else? You're a fucking fuck. Who else was at this party?

Snoop Dogg was there. Zayn. Zayn Mazrazi from YouTube was there.

Paparazzi. Oh, Chris Brown was there. I got a little shot of Chris Brown for my vlog.

Yeah, he had overalls on. Silly look.

I don't— I'm kind of baffled by Chris Brown. Why? He literally beat the shit out of Rihanna and he's still walking. Like, what happened?

What happened?

Yeah, if that happened today, dude, that would— I don't know. I'm so fucking lost.

I don't think she pressed charges. So he got away with it. I mean, I should look that up, but I'm pretty sure that's what happened.

Well, it's okay, we don't have to fact-check ourselves.

Yeah, I don't—

he didn't press charges, she didn't press charges, so it's like, okay, well, so, so no one— oh, is it not confirmed that he hit her?

I mean, she didn't fucking bash her head against the windshield by herself.

I mean, yeah, but dude, you saw— like, you saw her face afterwards.

Yeah, yeah, he was in the car with her, unless it was a ghost. I don't know, you know what I mean? I'm not— I'm not defending Chris Brown.

I don't even know what I'm saying.

I don't like Chris Brown.

How is he still— like, how do girls still love him?

Yeah, yeah, that's how people can't—

people can't—

hey, listen, women marry guys who are in jail and they never see them. Have you ever heard of that?

No, what do you mean?

Guys will be in jail for like 40 years for murder and they'll have girlfriends and people— women will write to them.

How?

Yeah, it's just that's what happens. And then they're like, ah, we can still have a relationship.

Is this how you lost your ex-wife? You found out she had a pen pal in a jail cell?

I guess men write to women too. So I shouldn't be so sexist, but yeah, it happens. People, people get incarcerated and they, they have relationships.

But do they find—

that's some charming ass. That's a charming ass man. He can get a woman from jail.

Prison's only guys and only women? Is it split up?

Yeah.

Why? Because why can't it be both?

Co-ed prison?

Yeah, we should start that.

Maybe a bit of bedlam, don't you think? You want to start a co-ed prison? Prison's a good business.

Prison's good business.

Oh yeah, fucking people work for free.

You're right.

I mean, it's a horrible business. I wouldn't— I would never want to be a part of it. Everyone making a joke.

Everyone in our prison has to be in the vlogs, and they have to do stupid shit for the vlogs.

Man, if you were in jail, you'd have some great people. You'd have a really good vlog, I think.

Just a bunch of fucking crazy. But yeah, so we—

have you ever seen MSNBC's Lockup?

No.

Yeah, that's a great vlog. It's basically a documentary on that prison.

Um, can you stop dangling your feet over the wires?

No, I can't. I like it.

You're going to fuck it.

You're ruining my artistic integrity.

You're going to— you're going to trip the podcast.

Knock it out.

Yeah.

All right.

Touch it. Move your fat fucking toes away from—

I'm a size 11. I don't think they're that fat.

Yeah, but the toes are so much fatter than the rest of the foot.

It's not— that's not toe there.

That foot is a size 6, but your toes make it a size 11.

Let's see your feet. See how great your feet are. I bet they're perfect.

Yeah.

I liked when you got turned away at the back room.

Yeah.

Anyway, so David was looking all sleek tonight, had his black hat on. He's like, we're going this way. And I was like, say it like that.

I said, let's go check out this way.

Yeah, yeah, you did. You're right. You're like, let's go check out over here. And I was like, why? Why? Let's go do the podcast. And then he got over there and he was like trying to walk in, and then there's a security guard, he just turned him away. And then Dave was like, I didn't want to go in there anyway. I don't know why you wanted to go back there.

I just like, I like seeing everything and then leaving. Yeah, because if I didn't get to see, then I'd be bummed out.

What'd you think of that band last night?

Oh my God, we went to go see AJR. Yeah, great fucking band.

Really good.

Yeah, really good.

So one song, but I loved everything else.

Yeah, Jason was like really digging this band. We went to go see AJR and we got there and he's never heard it before and they played 2 songs. He's like, wow, this is really good. And then they played one song and he like walks over to me and he's like, I don't like this one so much. And I'm like, okay, douche. Like, you can't like all of them.

No, but they were so good out of the gate where I was like, wow, these guys are really good.

They were great. They have a Twenty One Pilots vibe. Like a fun, more like back— backyard type of Twenty One Pilots. You should go check them out, guys. If you're listening, you should go check out AJR. They're really good guys. We got to meet them. They're nice guys. But I have something to tell you. There's an amazing new service that I found. It's called Framebridge.

David always finds the hot stuff.

Yeah, they make it easy.

Tell me about it. Trust me, it's good.

Yeah, they make it easy and affordable to custom frame your favorite things, from art prints and posters to the photos on your phone. Here's how it works. Guys, by the way, this is an ad. This is a brand new ad, so buckle down because you probably haven't heard any of this. This is how it works. You go to framebridge.com, you upload your photo from it. Can you not talk over the fucking read? You done?

Yeah.

Okay, I'll put your photo from your computer or directly from your Instagram feed for them to print. Or if you have a physical item— ticket stubs, art prints, posters, you name it— they'll provide secure prepaid packages packaging so you can mail it in for free.

Packaging? What's packaging?

It's packaging. It's packaging. Preview your item online in any frame style. Choose your favorite or get free recommendations from their talented designers. The expert team at Framebridge will custom frame your item in days, not weeks or months, and deliver your finished product directly to your door ready to hang. The best part? All shipping is free. Instead of hundreds you pay at a framing store, their prices start at $39. Plus, our listeners get 15% off their first order at framebridge.com when they use our code VIEWS. Framebridge has thousands of 5-star reviews and even offers a happiness guarantee. If for any reason you aren't 100% satisfied with your order, they'll make it right. Get started framing your photos or art today. Go to framebridge.com and use promo code VIEWS.

You know what I'd love to frame?

What?

Um, your dead body.

Just go to framebridge.com, promo code VIEWS. That's framebridge.com, promo code VIEWS. That's amazing. Shout out to Framebridge for a new part of our—

I love this.

How do you— Jason, how do you feel about these like LA parties that we go to? I know you're old and you have like a really shitty outlook on a lot of things and yeah, you're always pouty about everything. So how do you feel about it?

What the fuck does that mean? I'm always pouty. I'm not pouty. I'm not pouty. What was that?

No, you're not pouty.

I would have been fine tonight if you'd recorded the podcast on Tuesday.

You are bipolar. You know that, right?

What? I'm— I— what? I'm bipolar? Yeah, I know I'm bipolar. So what? That's— I have an ailment. So what are you talking about?

I didn't mean to bring that up.

Yeah, well, whatever. I haven't taken my medication in months, so fuck you. No, I like parties. I had a good time. I mean, you know, look, you see them, they're all there. It's all kids there. They're all like, you know, like a kid came up to me tonight and he's on this show Black-ish, and he's like an 18-year-old kid and nice kid, and he just had, you know, he said, oh, how are you? We worked on some movie together. And I was like, how's it going? And he's like, he's like, he's like, oh, going really good. I'm developing projects. And I said, how old are you? He said, oh, I'm 18. And I was like, wow. So it's just like, it's just a different thing, you know. He has like a twinkle in his eye, a sparkle in his eye. Everything is just fantastic.

Yeah. How is that when you, when you meet younger kids and they're doing like really good things? How does that feel for you?

It feels good. I mean, I like talking to people. Like, I like, I like encouraging kids, you know, to say like, oh, that's really good, you know.

Like, because you were once, you were once a little kid who had a twinkle in his eye. Yeah, and then something sucked it right out of you.

Yeah, I mean, I, I hit 30 and then that was it.

And then Twinkle left. Were you ever like super ambitious? I think you are now, but were you like ever like, you know what I mean?

I was ambitious.

Were you always ambitious? Because I feel like now you're like, you're always motivated to film, you're always down to work, but were you always like this?

I was always into working, but I just was like, I was, I was more into like doing like arty stuff. And now I'm just like, well, I have two kids, I just have to make— I mean, that's why I put up your bullshit here. What's that?

I feel so bad.

Why?

Because like I asked you like some pretty deep questions.

Yeah.

And you just looked at your phone and I was texting and I was asking you these questions. So you talk for a while. So, so I wouldn't have to talk. And I was just texting back Liza on my phone. I feel so bad.

What are you texting Liza? Let us into your relationship with Liza.

She just can't talk. She can't sleep. So I'm just like saying, what's up? I'm like, I'm saying I'm recording podcasts as I type this. Otherwise I would call you. Jason's a loser. Um, but, but yeah, I'm sorry. No, I really, I really, I was listening to what you said.

No, no, I mean text your girlfriend, it's more important.

No, no, no, it is. I mean, yes.

Okay, tell it.

This is a, this is a question we got.

Um, he's texting like crazy, guys, with one thumb right now. I don't know what's going through an art— in an argument.

This is a question we got from our viewers.

What do you got?

How do you know when you're with the right person?

What kind of dumbass question is that?

See, that's what I mean about your outlook on life. It's a little jaded.

What kind of dumbass? How do you know?

How do you know when you're the right person?

You— if you can't stand them, then you shouldn't be with them. Yeah, but like them.

Yeah, but how do you know that this is the person?

You should know. You're spending every minute with them. You should know. Okay, like, if you're not—

if you're—

if you're not happy—

but you see, you're yelling at me and you're saying that everyone should know.

I'm not yelling at you, I'm yelling at the listener.

I know, but, but But at the same time, you— you—

I'm not yelling at you.

I know, I'm just saying you can't be a douche about that because you got a divorce. So obviously you didn't know who was the right person. Do you know what I mean?

Well, yeah, that's why I got a divorce.

But I'm saying— but why are you saying that's such a dumbass question?

How do you know if it's the right person? Because it's such an open-ended question. Okay, yeah, you're right, you're right. So does she say anything else?

No, that's it.

Okay, so it's a dumb question. I mean, she didn't give us enough information. Yeah, how do you know if you're right— the right person?

Well, I mean, uh, how did you know when you, when you met your ex-wife, why did you marry her?

Well, she was just a lot of— she was a lot of fun to be with. She was like my best friend.

That's awesome.

So I knew that. I knew that even if—

can I ask a question? I— Liza is my best friend, 100%. Is there— are there ever— what? Never mind. Are there ever, are there ever situations— because I've basically only really had Liza as my girlfriend— are there ever situations where, where you're dating someone and they're not your best friend? Like, because I, I hear people—

oh yeah, yeah, I've had, I've had relationships like that for sure where they're not—

no, but like where it's like a long relate— it's like a, you know, it's like 3 years and they're not your best friend. Is that even possible? Like after, after being with long one?

Yeah, I mean, I think I definitely had a relationship like that where I had—

like, I always, like, like I always hear people say, uh, I'm dating my best friend. I'm like, well, no shit.

I mean, right, should be your best friend.

Yeah, fucking who else is your best friend, right?

Yeah, unless you have someone in your life that like you love.

Okay, maybe, maybe that's the way to know if you're with the right person. If you even for a second don't think that they're your best friend, then you're fucking shit up. It should be, it should be like completely, completely like straight up. You know what I like about like, about like dating someone is like when, um, when Liza and I first started dating, this is a little inside scoop.

Oh, let's hear it.

I told her— I told her everyone that I hooked up with, like, 4 or 5 months prior to we started dating.

Okay.

Yeah.

And how'd she handle that?

I mean, it didn't make her happy, but if—

oh wait, but this is before you were dating, so she really couldn't say anything.

She could say anything.

She ever bring it back up in your face though? Like, oh no, what about that girl?

Oh no, never. No, never. It's not like that at all. I just— I just told her because, like, I wanted to— I wanted her to know everything. Like, every fucking thing in the world.

Like, everything, right?

Do you know what I mean? Like, I, like, I Not like, like I don't care. Like I was, I'm never a guy who like likes to keep like certain things private, especially with like a friend. Like I don't care.

Like, um, but don't you worry about like telling them everything and then—

No, I don't.

No.

So you want to tell her like the, the, I hooked up with this girl randomly and like, listen, the first day I met Liza. Yeah.

I, I told her, or maybe she doesn't want to hear that. I don't think she did. Oh, but it's like I kind of just needed to get it off, like, like my chest. It makes me feel so— you—

that's such a you move. I needed to do it for myself.

No, it feels so good when— when— yeah, when your friend, when your best friend like that knows every single thing about you. It's the best. Like, like, that's why, that's why, um, we got into this weird thing about reading each other's texts.

Sure.

So like, like we did it, we did that first, like as joke, as a joke, or like we would do it and it wouldn't be a big deal. And, and then it was like, okay, maybe we shouldn't do that because it's not healthy.

Like you shouldn't read people's texts because you could, because no matter what, you mean she would be in the other room and you just pick up her phone and start reading it?

No, like I'd be with her and I'd like be like stooping over her, you know what I mean? Like reading text and like, and, and then we decided that it wasn't a bad idea, but at first that it was a bad idea. Sorry. But at first I was like, I don't care. Like, here's my phone. You can literally read any single thing you want.

Sure.

Like, I'm like this even with like the NSA. Is it the NSA?

Yeah.

People that spy on you. Like, like people cover their webcam and shit, like from to protect from like the NSA. Like, I don't care if they're staring at me like showering. Do you know what I mean? Like, it's just like, it's like, what do those fucking guys care? Like, I don't, I'm kind of talking about two different things here, but like, just like when it comes to like my privacy, I see what you mean. Do you know what I mean?

Yeah. You're an open book.

Yeah, I try to be, especially.

Why did you stop reading each other's texts then?

Because apparently it's not a good thing.

So would— when you would read her text, would you get upset? You'd be like, who's this?

Yeah, I would get upset. Yeah, yeah.

So you— so you're more jealous?

Yeah, well, yeah, yeah, I'm probably— I'm probably the more— yeah, 100%, 100%.

Um, but yeah, but yeah, Trisha reads my texts all the time. She's— she's on my ass, man. This— we're at the party.

She reads your text?

Oh yeah, oh yeah, she's like every single text, she's over my shoulder.

Like, Trisha's like me. But you don't care if she reads your text.

Well, I have nothing to hide.

Exactly. And that's exactly how I looked at it. I was like, well, what do you have to hide? But, but it's also unhealthy because like, because like you can— like, I can read your text right now.

Yeah.

If I was like dating you and I could find a problem with something.

Yeah, yeah.

Like, it could be you texting like, uh, like a person you're working with on a deal and then be like, why did you put the smiley face there? Like, what the fuck's going on here?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like, it's just like I could find a problem with any text and I had a girl put her hands on me tonight and I thought it was a setup for Trisha to find out that I was cheating on her.

Get the fuck out.

Yeah, this girl— I'll tell you something was really weird, David. I—

about a girl approached me.

Yeah, it was, it was weird. This girl that I met about a year ago that I did some work with, and, uh, I saw by the basketball— no, it wasn't by the basketball.

Oh, okay.

No, and, and, uh, and she came up, she put her hand—

you're like, fuck you, you just fucking— you just blew my cover. That was another girl that put her hands on me.

No, she put her hands on me and I got really nervous because I was like, oh, I was like, whoa, what? Because, uh, when we were at the party in Chicago, some girl sat on my lap. Yeah, and she got really upset.

I remember. Yeah, but that girl like sat on your lap.

What do you think about that? Was I supposed to— was I supposed to make a big, big deal and be like, get off my lap?

So let's, let's break it down. What happened?

We were in Chicago at a party, at a party at 10 AM where people were already drunk at 10 AM Saturday.

It was St. Patrick's Day and One of my, one of my friends, one of my girlfriends from high school.

Yeah. Who I think of as like a child.

Yeah. She's— yeah, she's—

she looks like she's about 18.

She's my age and she looks like she's 18. Exactly. Um, her name's— let's say her name's Tracy.

Sure.

Um, Tracy walked up to Jason and she was drunk, very drunk, and sat down on his lap because Tracy knew him because I've introduced him a couple times.

Yeah.

You know, they've talked and Tracy was just being very friendly.

At first she was like, is it real?

Oh, she was asking if the relationship was real. Yeah. And then, and then, uh, I said, I go, I go, yeah, it's real.

And she goes, no, it's not. Yeah, you could be honest. You can tell me the truth.

Yeah. And then Trisha walked up to me and she goes, your friend Tracy's a real piece of work, or something like that. I don't know what she said. She wasn't happy about Tracy.

No, no, no.

And, and then I found out that she sat on your lap. Yeah. So you're asking me if, if what you should have done when she said—

because then Trisha said to me, she goes, and then you're just going to sit there and let her you know, sit on your lap. And I was like, I— she like sat on my lap for literally like 5 seconds, and then, you know, she kind of slumped over because she was so drunk and got off my lap. Was I supposed to knock her off?

You were supposed to knock her off.

What am I supposed to do in that situation?

You want to sit on my lap real quick? Let me just—

no, no, they're not— use the computer.

Um, though, no, you were, you were just supposed to be like, not even say anything, but just scoot over. Even, even like, like I've had that happen to me And I just, I just slide right under, like I just slide to the left like I'm dancing.

But there was nowhere to slide.

I know, then you get off the couch. I know, it's fucking weird.

But, and then, then I'm like, I mean, next time when someone does that, I'm gonna fucking knock them out. Yeah.

Hi, can I sit here?

No, bitch, you better step back, bitch.

My girlfriend's gonna be here, she's gonna kick your ass.

Yeah. And then I see these, these girls, you know, I think I This might be in my head, but I had a— people know that I have a girlfriend now, and then, and then very, very— I couldn't get a girl to date me for months.

Wait, is this happening to you? Yeah, you have a girlfriend and now more girls are on you? Yeah, shut the fuck up.

I kind of noticed it tonight. And then another girl came up to me and was like, was like, um, I wanna— I like— I wanna have, uh, babies, and like, I want— I want to get a man, you know?

Like, I told you that I'm like, I'm really good looking, Trisha. Trisha, listen listens to these podcasts.

Well, I don't care. Okay, I mean, the girl that— the girl that said it to me, there was like a ton of people around when she said it. Yeah, and Paige was there.

Okay, okay, wait, so you're— you're saying that ever since you've been in a relationship, it feels like more girls want you?

Yeah.

That's weird. You know why? Why? Because that's a really common thing.

Is it?

Like, super—

like, very strange.

You can Google it. Like, super common. I don't know why I'm so weird.

Google.

What's Google? Why I'm so weirded out by it is because it, it never even happened to me remotely like that. Like, it's very common for you, for a person to get in a relationship and then see a bunch of like singles like approaching them and stuff, right? But it was so, so opposite for me.

Really?

So opposite.

Once you got in a relationship, that was it.

Everyone was like fucking gone. And I don't know, I don't know what it was, but it was just like everyone was out of my life. Any girl that even used to just text me like as a friend, and I mean, granted, I also like push away a lot of people. Like when I got in a relationship, I was just like, no girls, I can't talk to girls. I can't talk to girls. But yeah, no, it was like complete opposite. Like when I go to parties or anything, it's like, it's never like, I'll never be like approached in like that type of way, which is awesome because I think it's because, I think it's because people have like a lot of respect for, for Liza and like people know her.

Yeah, they don't want to do that to her.

Yeah, no, but yeah, that's so interesting because I've heard that. I've heard when you're in a relationship Everybody, everybody, everybody, every single person wants it.

The pizza's coming up.

The pizza's coming up.

Yeah, man, I really went at it. I don't know what I was thinking.

How do you feel about zoos? That's another question we got. Someone said, do you support zoos?

Well, it's nice to take your kids to go see a tiger. Yeah.

What do you think about it though?

It's probably really wrong. I mean, you know, Yeah, you want to break it down?

Can I, can I, you know, can I play devil's advocate?

Sure.

As, as bad as I think zoos are, yeah, I think this is what— okay, so I had a bear in my vlog. Yeah, the last day, and I asked the guy, I asked the guy that got us the bear, it was a little baby bear. Yeah, and I'm like, are people gonna be mad at me for having this bear in my vlog? Yeah, and he's like, some people will, but what you have to realize is, is these animals all these animals that are like endangered, like dolphins and bears, the only, the only reason people care about them is because they're cute. They learn about them.

Oh, right.

And like when you have a cute bear in your video like that, that shows people what a bear is. And like, it's easier to—

what a great argument.

It is, though.

Boy, he really, really figured that out for himself to keep his business going.

Isn't it good?

It's a good argument.

Like, it's like if you're, you know, if you go to fucking SeaWorld and you see dolphins do crazy shit, like crazy tricks, and then you go home and you see on the news dolphins are going extinct, you're gonna be like, what the fuck, right? If I never saw a dolphin in my life, right, never saw one in my life, and I heard they're going extinct, I'd be like, well, I, I've never seen them in my life anyway, so I mean, yeah, aren't they already— you know what I mean? Like, as fucked up as it is to like capture these animals, you know, there's only 3,200 tigers left. Seriously?

Yeah. Wow, just 3,200.

Yeah, it's nuts.

Yeah. I mean, there was only like 3,500 to begin with, but—

oh really?

No, I'm not kidding. I don't know what I'm saying. But, but no, there— I guess I get that argument, dude.

But, but like, I agree with it a lot because would I care about a dolphin if I hadn't seen it at SeaWorld? It's also, you know what, I think, I think the answer to the zoo question is I think there's better ways.

But what about like nature shows? You could like care about dolphins that way.

You're right, you're right. But, but, but I think a zoo is so much easier. Like, it's such an easier thing to access. Because it's like a Sunday thing. It's like, like every family will be like, okay, we'll go to the zoo. The kids have never been to the zoo. I don't know. I could be crazy. I think the best way to do it is maybe have like a big plot of land, like maybe in Oklahoma, have like 30 acres of land and then have us in the cages, like in cars, just driving through it and seeing all the animals like that. That's the way to do it.

Not us behind cages and the animals looking at us. That's—

I thought you're going to know. That's like a— that's like a weird, like deep painting. No, that's not, that's not what I mean. No, but, um, but yeah, I mean, Star Trek, Jews are messed up obviously for what they are, but if I'm going to support them, that's the only reason I would support them. How do you, how do you keep a, how do you keep a relationship healthy when it's online and you're posting about it? Jason, I'm gonna throw this one to you.

Oh boy. That's the bane of my existence is fucking, I post something on Instagram, you know, I blocked my ex-wife the other day on Instagram. Yeah.

Get the fuck out of here.

Yeah, dude.

If you told your 45-year-old friends that you blocked your ex-wife on Instagram, They'd be like, what does that mean? Yeah, you put her— you put your hand in her face when she was on Instagram. What do you mean you blocked her?

You played 2-on-2 basketball with her?

You played basketball and you blocked the shot?

No, I, uh, we've been having— we've been like arguing about, you know, about my relationship online, and she doesn't think it's good for the kids. And, uh, so she doesn't want the kids to be like involved in any of the videos anymore.

Yeah.

So I said, okay, yeah, I guess that whatever, if that's what you want. And then, uh, and then I would like post things on Instagram, you know, and then I would get texts about the posts. Yeah, every time. And I'd be like, okay, I was like, oh, I understand. Like, Trisha posted a picture with, uh, with the dog, with her dog, because we had the dog, and that upset Marnie. And so, uh, and so, uh, yeah, I got a text about it. I was like, which is—

which was— I get it.

And then the other, the other thing that happens, and this isn't This isn't her fault, but people like tag.

Yeah, it's fucking awful.

Yeah, so they'll write like a really long thing, a horrible thing, and then tag her account.

You know what I hate?

What?

I hate when I see, um, when I see like, okay, when I see a couple break up, like I'll use, I'll use Brad Pitt and Angelina. Let's just, let's say that, let's say they had like, um, let's say they had an Instagram relationship, right? So I hate when like they break up It's on good terms, whatever. Brad, 2 years later, finds a new girlfriend.

Yeah.

And all the Instagram comments are, she's so ugly. Angelina was such a better girl, right?

Yeah. Downgraded.

Like, that's so fucking ruthless. And it happens all the time to people on, like, online relationships. And I think that's so—

you probably don't remember this, but Brad Pitt and Jennifer Aniston were together at one point.

I heard. Yeah.

And that was probably like 10 or 15 years ago, and it's still on the COVID of magazines. It's still like Jen wants Brad back and still like, why did Brad torture Jen? They're still talking about it and it was 10 years ago. Literally, Jennifer Aniston doesn't think about it anymore. Jennifer is like, oh, Brad, right? What?

Like, were they like the— were they the hottest couple of the time?

Yeah, that was a big deal. It was that— oh man, yeah, Jennifer Aniston and Brad Pitt, that was hot stuff because, you know, he's absolutely gorgeous and she was She was on Friends. Yeah, she's on Friends. But she also had like an everygirl quality about her.

Yeah.

And she got like the hot guy. So I think everyone everywhere was like, good for Jennifer Aniston.

An everyday girl.

She has it. Yeah, she has it. Every— yeah, she has a girl next door vibe.

Okay. A little bit like the—

she's not a— she's not a— she's not a supermodel. I mean, she's not.

You're right.

You're not Angelina Jolie. And that's why when Angelina— I can't believe we're talking about this. That's why when Angelina Jolie took her It was like, yeah, it was like it was a fucking big deal because yeah, the really hot girl in high school took her from the nice girl.

You know, I know where Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie used to live.

Where?

They live in Los Feliz.

Do you know where the apartment— with the apartment?

Yeah, and I would pull up to this, I would pull up to the gate and I would show people that were visiting me from, from Chicago and be like, this is where Brad Pitt and Angelina live.

How did you find out about it?

I have a friend who's their neighbor.

Oh really?

Yeah, so the producer guy. Yeah, so he's like, they, they own this all.

Oh wow, nice. Could you see in?

No, you can't. It's, it's all shrub. It's a fucking—

really?

Like a 30-foot shrub and it's a brown gate and the gate is huge.

Really?

Game of Thrones gate. And once you get past it, it's like fucking like an acre of land. Like just like it's a fucking shit ton of like shit, a shit ton of land.

Let me go back to the thing. So right, if you block someone on So if someone's like, so my ex-wife won't see the post, right?

Because I blocked her.

No, but let me finish the story. So anyways, then I just thought, all right, well, I'll just block her so that now she won't be tagged in all this, dragged into all this stuff, dragged into your new relationship. Yeah, and comments, just like Brad, just like Angelina was dragged into. I'm just like Brad Pitt. Yes. Yeah. And, uh, and then, uh, I, and, and we had a good conversation. One night and we got along really good and we made some decisions together and I was like, okay, cool, that's great. We were laughing, having a good time. And then I forgot right before that I'd blocked her. So then I got a text the next morning, did you block me? That was really mean. And I tried to explain that.

Did you unblock her?

Yeah, I unblocked her.

That's nice.

Yeah.

I've never blocked anybody.

Never?

No.

That's kind of cool.

I, um, you know who I ran into?

I don't block people either. I think I used to.

I ran into a guy today at the, um, at the party that we were at. And I— he actually blocked me when we were on Vine. I commented on his—

I thought you were making that story up.

That's a true story. Yeah, I can't— I commented on one of his Vines and I said, this shit sucks, you're wack as fuck. Seriously, I said this when you're in high school. This is when I was in high school because he was like— he was like a fuckboy, right? Yeah. And he was just like biting his lips. And I said, I even made a Vine about him.

You did?

Yeah, I was just fucking furious. And I— this is— this is— this was my wake-up call. I never did any of this shit again. Like, I was never mean to another creator. And he—

he called you out on it?

He like texted one of my friends and he was just like— he's like, yo, your boy's fucking making fun of me. That's not fucking cool. Like, if I ever fucking see him, like, all this. And I saw him at the party, and I fucking— I ran like a little bitch. I was like, no, I didn't run. I don't think he'd care because it was so long ago. I didn't run. I made eye contact with him and it was fine. But, um, no, but I used to, I used to be a dick. I was, I was like a dick to like 2 guys on Vine. And because they made like, they made like material that was like super relatable and it wasn't for— it was like, it was just like, you know, you know what I mean?

Oh, I know.

Like it was just a lame post and, and I would always— and then I stopped myself. Sure, because I realized that Vine is like television, and instead of there being different channels, all the TV shows are mixed onto one platform, right? So, so if I'm, if I'm there to watch MTV content, sometimes I'm gonna run into content that's for Disney Channel.

Sure.

So that's why when I was like, when I was like getting my fix of like edgy comedy, I would run into a joke about the cereal being empty. You know, or the milk carton being empty, and I'd be like, what the fuck is this?

But like, that was such a big one on Vine.

But those jokes weren't made for me. And like, that's what I had to realize is like, I can't be made fun of. I can't make fun of these guys because they're making content that someone else enjoys, right? And like, there's younger kids that are enjoying this, and that's why I don't make fun of anybody now.

That like, yeah, you're really good about that. You run a tight ship.

Yeah, like, I, yeah, I try to, I try to be polite. So if there's, if there's like a content Like, like, people talk about Jake and Logan Paul.

Sure.

And they're always like, fuck those guys, like, the content sucks. I'm like, yes, like, it's not something I would necessarily want to watch, right? But they do it, you know.

Logan, you watch Logan all the time. Yeah, I come in, I come in. David works real hard, but the only time David edits— he works really hard, but when he eats his lunch, he does take a break, and he's either watching Logan, Jake, or Casey. Yeah, that's who you watch.

Those are the 3 YouTubers that I keep up with. And, and, uh, Jake, Jake was saying in an interview his audience, you know what his demographic is? No. 8 to 16.

Yeah, that sounds about right.

It's nuts. Yeah. So like, he's not—

how does he know that though? Because I thought on YouTube everyone lies about their age.

I don't know, it's 8 from 16. Regardless, speaking of 8-year-olds and 16-year-olds, at one— Jason, when you drink water, put it away from your mic. It sounds like Guys, um, Dollar Shave Club is fucking bomb. When I say—

oh my God, Todd's got it all in the— you know, Todd's got all the Dollar Shave stuff in there.

Yeah. Yes, I know, it's really good. When I say Dollar Shave Club, if the first thing that pops into your head is an amazing affordable shave, then I'm about to blow your mind because Dollar Shave Club—

screw the read, I'm just gonna talk. Yeah, let me vamp.

Go for it.

Let me tell you something about this Dollar Shave Club. Yeah, the razors. We have them in the house. We have a ton of them. They're really high quality. Uh, if you go to a drugstore and you buy a razor, you're looking at $10, $12. Same high quality razor, right? Here, a tenth of the cost.

They're more than just razors.

They're high quality, guys.

Yeah, and it's better than shopping in a store. Dollar Shave Club delivers to you everything you need to look good, smell and feel your best. Shampoo, body wash, toothpaste, and of course the best razors.

You need to read this. I think I said it.

Okay, sorry. No more trips to the store hunting for aisle shampoo, toothpaste, and having to pay the cashier scanning and bagging your own stuff. No more of that shit.

No more of it.

Dollar Shave Club is here for a mind-blowing experience. Join Dollar Shave Club today, and for 5— for just $5 with free shipping, you'll get the 6-blade executive razor plus trial sizes of shave butter, body cleanser, and One Wipe Charlies. Then keep the blades coming for a few bucks more a month. Get yours at dollarshaveclub.com/views. That's Dollar Shave Club. Dot-com slash views.

Great read, man. You did that. Yeah, that was—

I really appreciate it.

You've definitely read it before, so you had some practice, but it was good.

You know what I've realized?

That we're out of time.

Yes, we are out of time, but I've been using wet wipes. I use wet wipes all the time. I'm a big fan of wet wipes. Yeah, because they make your butt clean. They do. Yeah, you— when you wipe— I'm sorry, this is probably gross conversation.

This is super gross.

I just want to know You wipe till it's clean, right?

Yeah. What are you accusing me of? What do you say you're trying to say?

I don't know why.

What's the problem?

Well, when I was eating your ass last night— no, I just— I, I feel like there's a lot of people that don't wipe till it's clean.

Well, I mean, I'm clean right after I poop. I don't have any kind of— yeah, problem.

I always wipe till it's like— I mean, you know, I gotta be— I gotta be washed out.

Why are you bringing this up?

I don't know. Oh, I'm bringing it up because like I've known people that have gone in the bathroom.

How do you know?

Because I've talked to them about it. Like, yeah, you don't wipe. It's your underwear. Who cares, bro? It's your ass.

Oh, who said that?

I mean, yeah, no, not Ilya. No, no, actually, actually, John, friends of ours here in LA, one's in this house. Not sure. But that's all we have for the podcast.

Great way to end the show, David, leaving the mystery as to who is the stinky ass in this house, Scott or Todd.

Those two have really clean butts.

Yeah.

I mean, I'd fucking know. Fuck that shit. Guys, that's it for today's podcast. Make sure you guys like and subscribe. Tweet me at David. Tweet him at Jason Nash. We both love doing this podcast. We love you guys. We really appreciate you listening. Um, thank you guys so much for everything. Hmm, are you gonna say anything?

Thank you, David, for having me on the show with you here, and I, I love the fans and I love the tweets. All right, well, David's got 535,000 views in 4 hours. That's not that good, is it?

No, it's not real time. No, it's not real time.

Yeah, okay, I take that back, guys. Not real time. This guy's doing better than that.

Okay, we'll see you guys later. Bye. Oh wait, what do I say when we usually end it?

You don't say anything.

No, I said this is my— oh yeah, my name's Jeff. I'll see you guys later. Bye.