Best Way to Cheat

What's up guys, welcome back to Views. No Jason Nash today, just here with the idiots.

It's me, Natalie.

I'm so sorry, she's here. And John. I love John, I really do.

Oh, that's so nice of you.

John, you're my favorite. Natalie's just an incompetent skin something.

David loves to project his own insecurities onto me.

No, I'm not.

Things that he actually thinks about himself.

Honestly, I feel like I've done a everything today and you've just sat around. Natalie chooses the busiest days to get all her self-work and self-reflection done. She's meditated, she's got her blood drawn today, she's gotten her nails clipped, she's gotten her complete hair done. Like, we're going to the Snappy Awards and she's getting ready like we're going to the fucking Met Gala.

I blow-dried my hair for 22 minutes.

You had a makeup artist come.

No, I didn't, you fucking dramatic little liar.

Yeah. Well, I'm not lying at all. That was also—

I went to bed at 5:30 in the morning.

Listen, I don't want to fight.

And well, we're fighting.

I don't want to fight.

And I had all this stuff planned today accordingly, but you like to change things the night before, and then I have to move everything in my life.

It just feels like—

it feels like I did. I just— I moved everything to do it here.

It feels like you're not a team player sometimes.

That's all. That's insane. I want you to take that shit back right the fuck now before I come over there and smack you right now.

I'm being serious. But I do say a lot of things about you.

You want me to hit you? That's what's happening.

There are things I say about you where I'm kidding. Like, I was mad at you today. Today I'm actually mad. Amazing.

I was also mad at you, so I guess it's neutral.

No, because my outrage outpowers you.

Yeah.

I'm going to take it. I'm going to throw it right back at you.

No, because I'm the boss. I'm the CEO.

No, it's not how this shit works.

I want to hear you say— I want to hear you go, I'm your partner, bitch. I love that. It's our favorite.

It's so weird that you laugh at that.

We are partners.

Partners in this, you realize, right?

Like, we're partners. Yeah, no, I get it. We're partners.

Okay, thank you. I mean, I don't know why I have to beg for that. It's like the weirdest thing ever. I mean, it's like, how could you possibly, John, shake your head side to side like Are we OG startups?

Like, are you know, I mean, honestly, yeah, I'm the one that fucking put you on Vine, bro.

Yeah, I see it this way.

I started this career 15, 20 years ago.

You have so much of your mother inside you. It's crazy. David Spears about— because you know what Natalie's mom— Natalie's mom to her goes, you wouldn't have any of this stuff with David if it wasn't for me.

Obviously, my mom genuinely in her heart of hearts believes that. I obviously don't think that your entire career is credited to me. No, I know. I do think that I've been helpful for sure.

No, no, you've been very, very helpful. I just like to hear you say partner because I think it's funny. You have been very helpful though.

Well, this is actually a great segue for what I would love to discuss.

All right, go. You want a raise.

I don't need a raise.

And more vacation days.

Thank you.

What is it?

I already fought for my raise and I am set on that one. No, I just think that we should make an effort to be, you know, to not necessarily like make me, we should try to make me look, uh, like uplift me and elevate me as the businesswoman that I aspire to be.

I'm going to start doing that as soon as you start uplifting Jon. What? Yeah. First of all, more credit to Jon.

I don't do anything about Jon.

What?

Yeah. You're the problem when it comes to Jon.

I love, first of all, Jon is, we know why he's a hire because he's the best.

Uh-huh.

Jon was changing a light bulb the other day and Natalie sends me a picture of Jon changing a light bulb and she goes, That's $2,200 a week right there. Okay, first off, it's really funny. Yeah, John, so pick your side. Pick your side. Pick your side. Whose side you're on, huh?

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Nat, no, I love having you around.

Yes, no, I understand it. I get it. I get it. Um, guys, we just got back from Bali. Um, it's been a good trip. Um, rate it out of 10. Wait, it is kind of interesting how we like transition out of like fighting, isn't it? Like we're just like, you just move on, we just got tired. I'm just like, that's enough of that. I think it's funny because like we like, now we'll like, we'll have like an argument on camera. Oh, we're having, we'll have like an argument. Now we have like a filmer to try to film the vlog. Yeah, we're like experimenting with this new vlog style. I don't know if I love it, guys, if I'm being completely honest with you.

Classic David.

Classic me.

Never stick to anything. Commitment issues are real.

We've gotten the footage back and it's— change is hard for me, that's all. I think I'm not— I think it's not done yet, so I can't judge it. It's just the audio is different, the camera's different, and it spooks me. That's all. It's just not what I'm used to. So we'll see. That's why it's taking a little bit longer. And don't expect anything crazy. I'm just trying to get the first video, like, so the rest of the videos can be the exact same. Just trying to figure out camera settings and things like that. We're not doing anything, we're not making some crazy cool video or anything like that. We're just making like, we're trying to set up a runway. Yeah, okay, wait, what were we talking about? Yeah, Bali, rate the country.

Yeah, rate it.

Rate the trip.

Rate it out of 10.

Well, I actually like the 3 people we have on this pod to talk about Bali.

Amazing.

'Cause I think I was the most negative. Yeah, John was the most positive and you were the most neutral. And might I add, I was only negative about Bali for the only reason, and this is, if I didn't have this, I would love it. I'm just like, as you know, I'm like a pretty big hypochondriac. So like the thought of getting Bali belly consumed every single minute of my day.

Every minute.

Every minute of, it wasn't, it was like, I don't know, it really took the joy out of everything because that's all I thought about. And at the end of it, yes, of course I got Bali belly, obviously. I had diarrhea for about 2 days. Ilia was vomiting for about 2 days.

It is crazy how—

Taylor had diarrhea, McClain had diarrhea. Natalie, did you? You got away.

I didn't, I was—

The only place Natalie doesn't diarrhea is Bali.

Okay, see, this is what I'm talking about.

My poop was stiffer if anything.

We need to uplift and elevate, not— Talk down on me as poop monster.

John's poop was stiffer, as he said. That was my only problem.

I mean, everything was black for sure.

What?

But it was normal. It was just black.

Your poop was black?

Everybody's poop was black.

Mine was bright brown, like my skin tone.

Wow, you were like—

Nice, John.

Wow, you were like— That's pretty incredible.

He was in pure bliss. I mean, John has a stomach of steel. He would be ordering fruit from a random man on the side of the road. And I'd be like, I don't know if you should eat that, John.

And it's the best part. And the problem, if you don't know about these places, is like the water they wash the fruit in or the lettuce, the water, it's the water. So like anything that's washed can fuck you, which is great, which is kind of crazy. And then when you shower, you're using water bottles to shower or to brush your teeth, wash your face.

And like I was in the shower and like the second a drop would feel like it was entering my mouth, I would step out. Spit and then wipe my entire face clean with a towel and then spit again and then mouthwash. Um, I was very dramatic and I knew that me being so dramatic about it was going to lead me to get it. Like I was manifesting it.

Yeah, I got it.

I don't know, it's, it's not bad when you have it. I think we all got it differently.

Different, yeah, types of it for sure. Yeah, you had it the worst.

Ilya had violently— you'll, you'll see in the vlog, I think there's a moment where you can hear him puking. It is like fucking insanity. Oh yeah, but we were really lucky that we only had it for a couple days. Yeah, but other than that, Bali is a must-go, right?

100%.

Yeah, like it's a— it's no questions asked, it's one of the prettiest places.

It's the cheap—

one of the cheapest places, which is incredible. Like, yeah, a dollar can get you really, really far.

Yeah, one of the people that was on the trip, our videographer, she lived there for a year and a half and she was telling me that she lived off of $20,000 a year and she lived a great life. Like she would go out and eat food. She'd get massages like once a week.

No, but like a really good life for that price. Like our friend Danny Burke, who used to be in my videos when we were filming the vlogs full-time, he was one of the, if you remember this bit, David's Bitches. He was like one of the guys that would run on the treadmill and like get her, it was really funny. He moved to Bali and he just renewed his lease on his place, on his apartment. He's spending, it cost him 4 grand a year for rent.

$4,000 a year?

Did you see the video of his house?

No. It's nice.

I mean, it looks like it would get you $4,000.

Right, but it's still $4,000 a year.

But it's nice. Yeah. Like, it's like, it's a room. There's no kitchen. It's just a room and a bathroom.

Okay. But I mean, I guess like, what else do you need if you're like accustomed to Bali? You don't even, you don't need a kitchen. Yeah. You just like leave the house.

Exactly.

And he's like an outdoorsy type. So all he has to do is like literally sleep at a place.

Go chop a coconut down.

And yeah, but that's pretty fucking incredible. I've never seen anything like it. Um, so I highly recommend that. I highly recommend checking out— we—

yeah, I have this new— so Bali was always the place that I wanted to go for my honeymoon. I didn't— I like had— if I ever had an opportunity to go to Bali, I would say no because I wanted to save it for my honeymoon with my special person. Obviously I'm like 29, so I was like, fuck it, I just gotta get there. But now I have this new thing where I'm like, it'd be so fun to have my wedding and then take like a group friend honeymoon. Like all my 20 friends, we all go to Bali, and then I go with my significant other after the group honeymoon to like an island and just live my little tropical romantic paradise.

Going with a girlfriend, having diarrhea, I can't imagine a bigger fear.

Well, first of all, we're married at that point, so like he's probably seen or heard me have diarrhea before.

Really?

Yo, you're gonna be like— like if I'm married, I'm doing that on a different floor.

No, I'm not like, I'm not like, oh babe, come and diarrhea with me. I hope not, but I'm sure he's like aware that it's happened before, that my like tummy hurt or something, you know.

We were in Bali and my friend texted me, my friend who's like, um, he's like an executive at a really, really big company, really big company, and, um, and You know, we've spoken like, I don't know, 8 to 10 times in total. And he texted me a picture of someone that he was with having lunch with. And I was like, oh, no way. And he texted me saying, as a joke, she's pissed I refer to you as honey. And in my head, he was referring to Honey the stripper that I like fell in love with at the strip club here in LA. 'Cause I've told that story on the podcast and I've told it to like 5 people in person.

Yeah.

And I'm like, I think he's definitely one of them because I've talked to this guy about relationships.

Yeah.

And like the shortest fling I had in my head was with the stripper that didn't go past like the one at the strip club. But, but it lived on for many. He texted me a picture of someone. He goes, she's pissed I refer to you as honey. And I said, hahaha, you guys are awfully close to where she works. If you want to stop by and put in a good word. He goes, "Tell me where, I'm already walking towards wherever it is." I go, "Oh, it's only 8:30 there." 8:30 PM, this is a picture at night. "Oh, it's only 8:30 there, she doesn't get in for another 6 hours." He goes, "Who are we talking about?

And who the fuck starts work at 2:30 AM?" And I'm like, "Oh my God." He goes— I go, "Honey's a stripper I fell in love with 3 years ago at Body Shop." He goes, what the fuck? Where are you?

And I go, I'm in Bali.

And then we, uh, yeah, damn, he was like playing along, like trying to be cool. And then he was like, hold on a minute, I don't know what the fuck this guy's saying.

I hate when that happens in a conversation.

Yeah, it's so awkward.

Like, to be in his shoes.

Yeah, yeah, he's like, oh God.

But good for him for being like—

he made it funny. Like, he got out of it.

Like, no, not even that, but for addressing that he doesn't know where it's going. Oh yeah, because the worst is when you're pretending you don't know where it's going and then you're like really like lost at the end of it. Or like when you think someone's joking And they're being serious and you just— I mean, obviously we know this, like when you're at a loud party and someone asks you a question, but you think they're just saying a comment and you just take the risk and you just go, yeah, yeah. And they're like, so would you go? Or they're like, so which one would you go for?

Yeah.

You know what I mean? Like the worst, the worst. It's like, oh, you asked me a question.

Oh fuck. Yeah, that's tough. But yeah, John, tell us your Bali experience.

I thought it was great.

Yeah, you couldn't get enough.

It was so nice. I got, I got a massage.

Like, well, John, you slept in the massage room.

I did.

So John, we had the option of John sharing a room.

Mm-hmm.

Or John, I guess, could get his own room, but he had to take the bed into the massage room.

Yeah, the massage room was great.

No, it had a bathroom and AC.

Yeah, it had everything.

It was its own guest house, but they converted it into a massage room.

Yeah.

And I just told them to bring like a single bed. Down from upstairs.

And the problem was you left it open one night.

Yeah, the last night, I think. I don't know, something happened, but we just came back and I ordered food.

Yeah, I saw the food. It was sitting outside the house. So you never even grabbed it?

Well, I ate it the next day.

No way.

What?

You did? Shut the fuck up.

Wait, that's crazy. First of all, you sat outside with all those bugs and shit for hours.

Wait, wait, wait.

You ordered food in like the middle of the night?

Yeah, like 11:30 PM.

So it's already coming from possibly a sketchy location that's open really late.

I spent maybe $9 with tip on that food. And yeah, I fell asleep.

It's almost half of Danny's rent.

I fell asleep.

I woke up. I left the door half open. I got destroyed by mosquitoes. And this time I learned my lesson. Yeah, I learned my lesson in Brazil. Like putting bug spray and everything, and I left. And that's the worst thing to do, I mean, leaving the door open.

Yeah, especially in the area you were, because the massage room was like right by like this like pond.

Yeah, like it was.

So all the mosquitoes were congregating, so they must have just been like, oh my God, look at this guy.

And you were probably like the best guy in the house that they could have found.

Oh my God.

Yeah, they were probably so happy.

Like one of the mosquitoes, one of the mosquitoes probably peeked in and was just like, you guys won't believe this, dude.

I woke up at 4 AM. It was like I felt like I was in a jungle. I didn't have AC on. I had the door open, wide open. I was like, I was hot. Yeah, no, no blanket because it was too warm.

Do you know I've converted my sleeping methods now, John? I don't sleep at 73 or 74 anymore.

Really?

Sleep at 69 degrees.

69?

Wow, isn't that crazy?

Wait, what made the switch?

I have no idea. There was one day I just needed to do it. And I just like made the switch.

And you're never looking back? Like, are you sleeping better, do you think?

Or—

I think I'm sleeping better.

Wow. I mean, I would imagine, because if you're sweating—

but is that not outrageous? Like, I had so many fights with— what was Ilya sleeping at? I don't remember now.

He would put it down to 67 though.

It's fucking cold.

It's cold. Like, my room was— you know, he felt my room.

That is really cold.

Yeah.

But now I would understand him more. Isn't that crazy what growth does?

Yeah, that was like an argument like once a week, every day.

Yeah, no, it's really crazy. Um, uh, and then, oh, also my mom got an email. Or John, listen to this email, how crazy this is. My mom found an email from me when I was 13 years ago, so I was 15, 16. Okay, at the time she said, I'm going through my old emails, I found one from you. This is the email. I don't have lunch money, so could you bring me lunch today at 12:30? If you could, could you bring me 2 crispy snack wraps with honey mustard and a Big Mac and extra honey mustard packets on the side and a large cup of water? And then could you go to that link and print it out and fill that out and put in $20? You could put that sheet into the McDonald's bag. Thanks. She goes, 13 years ago, McDonald's and a boss, still the same. That's really funny.

That's really funny.

I mean, I still, Like, literally, like, America runs on Dunkin'. I still run on the same fucking shit.

I can imagine you, like, being in, like, first period and being like, I'm going to email my mom, get me McDonald's.

I actually don't know, like, how this is possible. I don't—

This is in high school.

Yeah, but, like, emailing, that's crazy. No, you know what's crazy? That's still on my Safari that I have no idea how on earth it could still be on my phone.

Like, when I go into, like, my little bookmarks, I still have on my phone currently on my iPhone 17.

Okay.

I never have— I don't have like iCloud that carries over anything weird. Yeah, I just have like just phone to phone. And I have Power Portal as one of my bookmarks, like where you check your grades.

Oh my God.

And it's still like— I had it bookmarked when we were in— when we were freshman year because I wanted to check my grades often. And for some reason it's still a bookmark.

That's so interesting.

No, it's really weird.

It probably doesn't open to anything.

Who got the best grades in the— in in this room?

Probably Natalie.

What was your GPA in high school?

3.5, probably.

Yeah, I think Natalie had the highest.

That's pretty low. What?

What the fuck?

What do you mean, dude?

But it's yours.

I mean, I was an idiot, but like, I— you shouldn't compare yourself.

You did not get— you didn't— I'm pretty sure you did not get a 3.5 either.

No, I had like a 3.2.

Yeah, because I remembered I was like, at the end of high school, I was like worried about the competition. I was like, David, Mike.

John, we were never in competition about our GPAs. No, no, no.

I just wanted to make sure I was just like, hey, I was competent.

You want to make sure you weren't behind by too much.

Yeah, exactly.

I didn't want to beat you. I just wanted to be at least 4 points behind. What was your GPA?

I think it was somewhere in the 3, 3.1.

No.

Yeah.

I'm putting you at a 2.9.

No, no, no, no, no, no, no, brother.

There's no way.

No.

Really?

I never—

Oh, you had like AP classes? Yeah.

And not only that, in the AP classes I would get like a B. I can't believe that.

Why would you do that?

Because I wanted to be proven to be smarter.

Did you do your homework?

Of course I did.

Wow, dude.

I remembered— Oh God, I think Spanish was my worst subject. I will admit Spanish was my worst subject, and I would try and ask like I didn't have glasses at this point because I didn't know I needed glasses.

Spanish for you? Wait, hold on. That's kind of crazy. Spanish for John. Imagine learning a language but skipping the language that you're using to learn it. Like, he barely knew English and he was already like moving on to the next one using English.

The hardest part of learning Spanish for me was I speak Tagalog and the words Same, same but different, you know what I mean?

That's— oh wait, that's— that is interesting. Tagalog has a lot of Spanish influence. A lot of the words are similar, so Spanish should be a lot easier.

No, because grammatically it's different, like the pronouns, you know?

Okay, well, I feel like that's like an easy fix. Yeah, once you know, like, yeah, and you're fluent in Tagalog, I feel like that should be like an easy—

no.

What were you saying about your glasses? You forgot your glasses.

Yeah, like I was, um, I got caught cheating one of the days Because I was like asking, like I needed, I needed, I needed the answer because I couldn't figure it out at all in Spanish. One, I got my first warning for cheating.

Wait, wait, how did you get caught? Wait, what were you doing?

I was, I was literally like looking with my eyes and I couldn't, I couldn't see.

Oh, and you blame it on not having your glasses?

John trying to cheat too is like so obvious.

So obvious, dude.

So obvious.

Yeah, and I learned my lesson.

If I caught John cheating and I was a teacher, there's no way I'm like getting him in trouble. I'm like, oh my God, this is so sad. I'm gonna let that guy go.

Yeah, no, so I failed that quiz. I was like, I failed that quiz. That was my first time.

Who's your teacher?

I don't know, it was some— this was my Spanish teacher. I don't know, Spanish 1.

Uh, Belinsky?

No, Berenson or something. Swanson?

Sawicki?

No, he was the principal, I think.

No.

Yeah.

Oh, Principal Sawicki.

Um, but yeah, that was, that was my one and only time I ever cheated and I got caught for it. So I was like, you know what, cheating's not for me.

Time to pack it up.

Yeah, so I just gotta do it hard work.

Yeah, the only time I was caught was not till college, which is really, really good.

Yeah, but you would cheat so much. I mean, there wasn't a test or homework that you didn't like use somebody on.

Yeah, I, I genuinely wish people understood what I did because I don't I didn't know what chapter, curriculum. I didn't know the— it could be a random subject. I could be thrown into a classroom. It's in a different grade on the day of, and I'd figure out how to cheat. Cheating was my— it was all fair game. If you knew how to cheat, you know how to play the game.

Exactly.

It's all part of it.

It's all part of school.

So yeah, I loved it. I loved it. I highly recommend it. I think cheating is the best. I think it makes you stronger.

That is crazy.

And Steve Jobs always said, If you want something done, give it to the laziest person and they'll figure out the easiest way to do it. Yeah. And yeah.

No, you were definitely like the guy that I knew. I was like, I was like, I got so mad every time you'd score higher because I know you cheated. Yeah, you fuck.

And you were—

and I had to study the night before. I wouldn't play video games. I would like actually study.

No, it's so good. And it got to the point where it didn't even matter who you were sitting next to. Didn't even matter. And the best part, there was times where like the teacher would suspect that people were cheating. So there was one time when the teacher was like, you're going to take the test on a different day or like, oh my God, even better. Like, like, okay, so I like a little cheating group and like one of the kids got worried because I wasn't going to be there and they're like, how are you going to take the test? I'm like, dude, this is even better.

Like, you know the answer.

I'm going to know the answers. And one time I took the test so late that the kids got the test back the next day because it was a quiz. And then I got to just take the corrected quiz and take it with me to the study hall room, copied right off it, got some answers wrong, obviously, 'cause they didn't wanna score 100%, and won that way. I don't know.

Fuck.

I mean, it felt like Ocean's Eleven back in that day.

Oh my God.

Like cheating was like, you felt like fucking George Clooney in a heist movie.

It's really funny because I was like complete polar opposite and Alex was also in the middle. Like he'd be doing it. Same with Mike. He'd be like, if only he needed to.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. They didn't cheat as much.

Yeah, but you were the complete cheater.

100% cheater.

Back to Bali. So, so the first— we vlogged this as we vlogged Rio.

Yeah.

Again, trying new things out. We still don't have an editor yet, so God knows. That's why when I say I don't know what the videos are going to look like, it's because I don't know who our editor is. I don't even like talking about it. Um, but, um, so the first week we kind of hung out with our friends at a villa, and then the— for the weekend we flew over to another island in Bali called Sumba.

Yes.

Where we stayed at possibly the nicest hotel I've ever stayed at in my entire life.

Yeah.

Um, and I, I've been to a lot of hotels, and I like— I'm like, I pride myself in being so snooty about hotels, and this hotel is like fucking top-notch. Yeah, it's called Niihi. Um, you may have seen on— if you look up like Niihi horses, yeah, on TikTok, you'll see like the horses running on the beach. Yeah, it's this incredible hotel. We got there for a friend's birthday. Happy birthday, Tanya! Shout out to Tanya. Um, she got everyone these rooms, and every person that was there was assigned a caretaker.

Yeah.

So like, I got there, my guy was Maxi, and he took me to my room, which I— which was normal because the hotel takes you to your room. And I just thought that's all he was doing, but then he grabbed my phone.

Yeah.

And he put his number in my WhatsApp and he texted himself.

Yeah.

And then we were texting back and forth, like, like, prop— you know how like a hotel is like, we have a butler service, but you don't actually ever use it? Yeah. It's just like, who's gonna call that?

Yeah.

But he's like he's like calling you. He's like, I can have the paddle court for you ready this time, this time. And he like learns from your habits, and he's with you all day. So like, I went to go play paddle. I played with 4 of my friends. And in paddle, sometimes you hit the ball over the fence, and Maxi was running around collecting the balls. It was crazy. Like, like a ball boy. And we're like, Maxi, you don't have to do that. There's so many balls. There's literally no need for him to do that. And he was like, it's my pleasure, uh, David. He was like so fucking— it was fucking crazy. And then, you know, the hotel has like— they have their own waters that are like— that they purify, and it's like branded, but it's reusable bottles.

Yeah.

So I was just like, I still don't really trust it because I'm just like, I just want to be super careful. So I was drinking these other water bottles that were like these like glass bottles that were like sealed while I was playing padel.

Yeah.

And I was drinking them and drinking them over the other ones. And then when I was done with Padale, I went to Maxine, I was like, can I have 4 of these bottles sent to my room? And then he showed me a picture and he already got them delivered to my room 'cause he noticed how much I preferred them over the other waters. He goes, I noticed that you weren't drinking the other waters, so I changed all the waters in your room to fit those.

It was fucking—

That's insane.

It was crazy.

Ned, did you get the same experience?

Uh, no, but I think Maxi was just paying attention to David. I didn't really like have my own person. I definitely did, I just wasn't like communicating with them like you were.

Yeah, yeah, Maxi like really connected.

He like— yeah, like you guys like really— like he was— there wasn't like one— I think the first night we all like stayed up and we were like hanging, whatever, till like 2 in the morning.

Yeah.

And he waited, like we were all at the beach club or whatever, like partying, drinking, dancing. Maxi waited till 2 in the morning to— and then walked both David and I, I think. I was very drunk, I don't remember.

He walked me, so he waited for me to finish drinking.

Yeah.

And then as he saw me leaving, I didn't even know he was there. Yeah. Was like, are you ready to go? And I was like, whoa, Maxi, you're still here? He's like, yes, I've been waiting. Wow. And then he, he, uh, yeah, he walked me home and I pretended like I was gonna jump off the cliffside and he like kept trying to catch me. It was really funny. He was really funny. He's such a good guy.

Yeah.

I mean, he would have tucked me into bed.

100%.

100%. Like, he was—

I mean, anything and everything. I forgot my pillow in the room, and I was talking to Isabel about it, one of our friends, and he just overheard. Like, he was just standing in the corner and overheard the conversation. He was like, "Ibu Natalie, I go, I go," and just sprinted off and got the pillow back in my room.

There's little—

yeah, there's— it's It's really, it's really crazy.

Crazy.

Like, we'll be like 10 of us will be like drinking, like by the— we'll be like by the beach or something. And, and all of the people's like caretakers will be standing there off to the side and just like waiting for you to finish your drink so they could bring you another one.

Yeah.

The service is like crazy. I've never seen anything like it. It was like I actually hurt my head how like on fucking point it was.

Yeah.

You take 2 sips of your water and it was refilled.

It was crazy.

And the food was fucking— the food, I put my guard down about Bali belly because I was like, I don't give a fuck. Like, I don't care if it's in this fucking salad. I don't care if I'm, if I'm biting the king of Bali belly bugs right now.

It was the most delicious food I think I've ever had on a vacation, period. Hands down.

Wow.

Like that.

I don't say that lightly. I highly, highly recommend.

So good.

Probably the best hotel I've ever stayed at. Nihi Hotel.

Also incredibly expensive.

Incredibly expensive.

Incredibly expensive.

It's like a once-in-a-lifetime experience kind of hotel.

Yeah, this is like—

we're in Bali and it's incredibly expensive.

Yeah, yeah.

That didn't make sense to me when you said the price. I was like, whoa.

Well, because it's like a part of— it's a part of like this niche boutique.

Some of the bigger rooms there are like 15 to 20,000 a night.

Yeah, which is insane.

Crazy.

Which doesn't make any sense. 15,000 a night.

Yeah, yeah.

But the hotel was full. It was like a random It's always full. Yeah.

And what's crazy about it is it's like, it's like, that's like 3 years of Danny's house in Indonesia. Like, it's like, it's, it's got to be one of the most expensive places ever.

Yeah, probably. I mean, Natalie's right, it's once in a lifetime.

It's also like once in a lifetime just because it is like a difficult place to get to. Um, so I'm glad I checked that off my list.

When you land at the airport, first off, the, the representatives of the hotel—

oh my gosh, yeah—

are already waiting for you at the last airport in Bali.

So they're waiting for you when you depart from Bali. They are there at the door when you get out of your taxi cab.

Yeah, in Bali, out like in Nihi outfits in the hotels. The hotel doesn't exist in Bali. Yeah, but they have employees there that are working just for the hotel just to get you into— onto the plane faster.

They take your bags for you. They take photos of every single one of your bags. Once when I stepped foot out of the taxi cab, I didn't see my bag until it arrived into my room.

Wow.

And we had no— I had no idea that they were with us.

Yeah, that's crazy.

I remember we were sitting in the lounge at the airport and they were like— and I was like, are we just supposed to like just trust that everyone has like, like our bag? Like, they took all my bags, everything, like 4 of my bags. And it wasn't even like max just 2.

You could have given them 9 bags.

Yeah.

And they would be like, yeah, we're gonna get it there. You could have given them 3 cupcakes separately, not wrapped, and they would have delivered the cupcake there like in perfect condition. It's fucking It's incredible.

And so when you land, I think there's options. You get picked up by helicopter.

Yeah.

Or you can get picked up by these like really cool safari rovers, safari jeep, like Hollywood tour buses.

Yeah.

But like decked out safari. And you drive through all the villages there, like an hour and a half drive. And I've never seen more excited locals in my life. Every— like, it's Everybody is like so excited to wave.

Really?

Everybody's waving. I remember like it was really fun on the way there because I was just like waving at everybody. And then on the way out, I was asleep because I was so hungover. And our flight was at like 8 in the morning and they're driving us back an hour and a half. And all I would hear is as like the cars were rushing by us and the other people on motorbikes were rushing by us, like my head was down. You couldn't even see I was really in the car. You could just see like maybe the top of my ear. Yeah, but just people go, mister, and it was all little— it was all little kids just trying to say like hello because they just love waving to those buses. Yeah, mister, it was so fucking cute. But yeah, I learned that Indonesians are like the happiest people, which like completely checks out.

Yeah, 100%.

I mean, even in Bali, I've never seen so many like solo female travelers. Like, like if I had to leave Julia somewhere in one of those countries, Bali would be like the number one spot.

Yeah.

Yeah.

There's a lot of— there's a lot of young people.

There's a lot of young people.

Everybody's like a 20-something entrepreneur or just like figuring your life out.

It looks really hot also.

Everyone's— and the fitness, the health, like lifestyle.

Fuck it.

We went into a gym, we met with the gym owner. It was a brand new gym, just opened a year ago, and I could not believe it was like 6 weeks. 6 weeks. Oh, sorry. He built it in a year. He bought the land a year ago and it was fully operational. He got it done in a year. It's fucking crazy. Beautiful gym. And he was like, you notice all the hot people? And I go, yeah, actually, I was going to ask you about that.

I didn't want to be rude.

And he's like, strategy. He's like, that's our strategy. I'm like, hell yeah.

What does he say to someone that he doesn't think is hot? You can't come in here?

I think so many people apply, no one even knows. Like, I think he's just letting—

it's like a membership sort of thing.

Yeah, but he's maxed out his memberships.

Yeah, he's sold out. It's a waiting list.

People there were stunning. And then there's another— the best nightclub I think I've ever been to in the world is now also in Bali. This is crazy. Bali holds the awards for a lot of things. It's kind of crazy that I was the most negative about it because of Bali Bali. Once you get past that, it's a flawless place. 100%. For a tourist. I don't actually know, like, the ins and outs of it. So don't quote me on that. But there's another place called Savaya. It's this incredible club there. It's like this— you've seen it also on TikTok. It's this like glowing cube and it's hanging off a cliff. You should look it up. Savaya, really, really fucking cool club that I highly recommend that experience to. Food there, again, delicious. Also at the hotel we were at, they're known for their horses on the beach. So like they'll bring the horses out. They'll have the horses run by you so you can take a cool picture as they're running behind you, like with the breeze and the beach. You can ride them in the water. Then you can also go spearfishing. So they take you out in the morning and you hunt for a fish, like in the water. You spearfish, you shoot the fish, then you give the hotel your fish, and then they prepare it for either lunch or dinner, like really nicely, like with flour, like the whole thing. They cut it up like it's fucking— like, uh, well, it is actually a Michelin star. It's a 3 Michelin star restaurant. We get it, we get it.

It's fucking, it's fucking nice. Have you been to Medieval Times though?

Oh, that's where you went. I mean, listen, I get Medieval Times is great too.

Dude, Medieval Times is great. I saw some horses there too, man. Have you seen a horse trot? I mean, his horse trotting is pretty sick. I actually would—

I've never been to Medieval Times. I would love to go.

The Renaissance Fair was one of my favorite things ever. Really? Yeah, it's like my favorite thing I did with my family.

I don't know why. What?

That's like the last thing I would think that you would like. Why did I like it so much?

I think because You like the little game? They had the ladder game there.

Oh, the one with the ladder where the ladder's curvy or the ladder like will knock you over?

Yeah.

Oh, I liked it because it was just challenging.

Yeah.

Did I tell you about it?

Yeah, I remembered you telling me about this like it was yesterday.

I came back and I was like raving about the Renaissance Fair.

Yes. And I was like, what the fuck is a Renaissance Fair? I was like, is it Medieval Times? And you were like, no. All I know is it was in Wisconsin. That's all I know.

That's so funny. That's so good being a kid. Now we're going to fucking Niihi Hotel.

Yeah, God, life is so hard.

I'm just saying, like, the beauty in the Renaissance Fair, it's fucking amazing. Makes me like, yeah, like coming back and finding John and being like, you won't believe the fucking ladder I just found at the Renaissance Fair.

Like, fuck yeah!

I love that, like, bucket game, you know, where you underhand toss it. And has to like not bounce back.

I fucking hate that game.

I fucking remember we wasted so much money at the car wash.

Well, I lost your money there. Yeah, I lost your parents' money. Do you remember that story?

No.

John's family and Alex's family gave me money to meet them at the fair. Okay. They gave me like, I don't know how much it was. I've told the story on the podcast, like $20 each or something.

Yeah, a lot of money.

Yeah, as a kid, $20 is like huge, 2 weeks worth of money.

David's like, I can guarantee this money, this money's practically free.

And then there was a game You know those buckets, like those rubber buckets you throw the ball in it and you have to make sure the ball stays in the bucket and doesn't bounce out?

Yes. Yes.

The guy—

it was the first time in my life I've seen this game. And the guy showed me and he's like, you get it in 2 times, PlayStation's yours.

Yep.

And I'm like, are you fucking serious?

Yeah, yeah.

Got the perfect guy. And I'm like, that's it. I just get it in 2 times.

He's like, that's it.

2 times. And he does it. Obviously he's closer. He's at a different angle. It works for him.

Yep.

And then I have like $60 on me for our 3-day passes to the carnival.

Yep.

In Vernon Hills.

That's only there like 3 days out of the year.

Yes.

Very rare.

And I walk there.

Obviously my parents aren't driving me anywhere.

I've walked from—

it's like, what, a 2-mile walk back to our house?

Yeah. And you guys aren't there yet.

I just have your money. Just me hanging out by myself. So I give the guy the money. I lose the money immediately.

I can't believe it.

I'm like, I can't believe I just lost 'Cause I was like, I'm gonna win a PlayStation.

How many times did you do?

I did 3 different tries. Whoa.

Probably more.

The second time I realized it was rigged, but I was like, I've already spent everybody's money.

There's gotta be a way to win this.

Um, and, and—

You're gonna spend it all.

Yeah, I spent all the money. But like, yeah, obviously going into it, I'm like, I'm gonna win John and Alex a PlayStation. Yeah. And I need to win this now before other kids come, 'cause I don't want all the PlayStations to be gone. I'm such a fucking idiot. It's crazy how you think as a kid. So yeah, so I lost that and then I had to run back 2 miles to beg my parents for money and big IOU happened. And yeah, that's kind of what it was there.

That's really funny.

Renaissance Fair. That's a crazy— give me one of the— give me more, John. You got so many crazy memory pulls. Renaissance Fair. I haven't thought about that since we discussed it. Since we discussed it freshman year of high school or whenever that was.

Give me one more. Give me one more.

I don't know, dude. It just comes and comes. Go, dude, please.

I'm about to fucking come.

Take it back.

Take it back.

Go, go, go.

I really can't. I just— it has— dude, you have to like tickle my brain.

Okay, here's your homework. Here's your homework. Yeah, write down 5 things. Okay, for the next pod, for Thursday.

Okay.

Okay, so it's technically a day.

Sure.

5 things that— that was 5 words that can like 5 words that like, yeah, name something to listen to memory.

Okay.

Okay, sure. Okay, last thing I have to talk about is, uh, have you heard of the green laser experiment? I kind of was explaining this to Natalie.

Oh yeah, yeah.

Okay, John, listen to this. So I was watching the scientist like talk about DMT. Oh yeah, yeah, it's on his phone.

Goddamn it.

Well, let's go. What's going on? Wait, wait, put the mic up to your mouth.

I want to hear what you're saying.

What are you saying? What are you saying to the car guy? Can you pay? No, say it louder.

Can you pay the car wash guy?

Yeah, we get car washes like to the house. Yeah, and is it weird how it's like cheaper than taking your car? Does that— why does that not make sense?

It's not. If you see my car, I did mine for $10.

Wait, I thought, I thought it's $50 here at the house.

Yeah, it's $50 at the house.

$50?

$50. 5-0.

What? Yeah, bro, I pay $50 a car?

Yes. You've been paying for like years now. It's been $50.

That's still pretty cheap for like a detail.

It's still very cheap.

Yeah, they do a good job. I get it. But I was shocked because I was telling everybody it's $15. Everybody that comes in.

Well, that's stupid.

I was washing everyone's cars. I was like, it's $15.

No, dude, mine was— mine is $15 if you do it like an automatic wash. If you self-car wash it like me, I pay $10.

All right, well, I got to start. I got to start doing that. Okay. Anyway, listen, listen to this.

Have you heard of the green laser experiment? Is that the one in China?

Anti-fatigue?

No. So there's this guy talking about DMT again. Sorry, guys.

Goddamn it. Okay, listen, did you hear what Natalie— did Julia tell you? What? I got connected with, with the DMT person of like one, the specific band in the '70s. She's like 75 years old. It's all legit.

Oh, she like knows how to like give it to people?

Yep.

Oh, we should totally do it with her.

She's like, she has the real stuff. The guy that, that connected me with it, he did it off of a toad.

Oh, wow.

The actual toad. No, the toad is alive. It secretes DMT.

Oh, the DMT is on top of it.

Yeah.

Fuck. What do you think that toad's going through?

I don't know. I just know it's off of toads.

That toad's got to think he's the king of the world or some shit. He's got to be tripping balls.

Well, maybe that's why that, like, that, like, fairy tale, like, The toad is—

oh, interesting, where you kiss a toad and then it turns into the prince.

Yeah. Oh, maybe that's where that came from.

Holy shit.

Wait, now I think you're— you're cooking something.

Thank you, guys.

Oh, that's really good. That probably is it. That's really interesting. So there are these scientists talking about the DMT experience, about DMT.

Yeah.

And basically they said if you take a green laser, like from Home Depot, like, you know, like those DeWalt, just a green laser.

Yeah. Okay.

And you take the beam and you extend it out, you spread it out. Like, imagine you like, like, you know what I mean?

Make it flare out, like, make it flare out, like you throw, like you put it through like a prism or something and it makes it like, yeah, kind of extends all through, like blankets the wall almost, like a little, yeah, yeah, like make it. So he's saying that they did that and then they took like 10 different people, they had them do psychedelics and they had them look at the laser and all of them could see through the wall.

What, like the green laser projected? They split it up, it projected like a green sheet on the wall.

Yeah, and then the people that were through the, through the laser onto the other side of the wall with like 100% accuracy, I guess. That's why this is going to be—

and what were they seeing?

What's on— what was on the other side of the wall?

But like, like, was something written or like was a person standing there?

They were also seeing code on the laser. So like on the laser there'd be codes like numbers, 259, and as the laser would move, the code would change. So kind of eliciting, or what is it? Eliciting?

Eliciting?

Listening?

Listening?

Insinuating?

Insinuating?

Incinerating?

I don't know.

Impending?

No idea where you're going with this.

I have no clue where you're going, bro.

Impregnate?

Listening, for sure, that one. Reading?

Reading.

I don't know.

What were you saying again? I don't know. Insinuating. Insinuating. You said that the first time.

I did?

You used one of them.

Yeah.

Okay. Insinuating basically that the entire world's made up out of code and all this stuff. And the other guy interviewing him was like, so what did you guys learn from this? And he's like, well, that's the most— that's the part that's the toughest is because we don't learn anything from this. It's just that we just observe this and we have no explanation for any of it. So I will be going back on the DMT train. You saw what you guys got earlier was like the Star Wars saga, like New Hope, Empire Strikes Back. Like you saw the first trilogy of Star Wars. Now you're gonna get the new ones, the updated Revenge of the Sith. I'm going back on DMT. You heard it here first with John's grandma.

Hell yeah.

75-year-old, I'm doing it off a fucking toad up my ass. I'm going to see through walls. Get fucking ready. Alright guys, that's all the time we have for today. We have to go to the Snappy Awards, the Snapchat Award Show. We're very late, and hopefully I'll win an award. Actually, I'm only nominated for one, so the odds aren't the best.

Fingers crossed.

I'm nominated for Creator of the Year. Wow, big one, John.

That's huge.

Okay, we'll see you guys later.