Addison Rae on How Much People Make on TikTok

Hey guys, hold on, hold on, dude. The fuck's wrong with you?

Guys, we have to just rerecord this whole podcast again because I—

Jay, dude, it's fucking crazy, bro. Bro, we just, we just recorded the podcast, bro.

You give nothing. You give no indications of when I text you all the time.

That's your job. You have one job.

It's Taylor's job.

No, your job. Your job is to fucking turn the equipment on. Oh, and my job is to be sexy as fuck and bring in all the listeners. You should— Guys, guys, we just hold on. We just got— we just finished recording the podcast and, and Jason and I'm like, I'm laying in bed and like, relax. I'm like, cozying up, watching a YouTube video. I'm like, everything's done. I feel so good. And then Jason goes, Dave. And I go, what? He goes, did you hit record on the podcast equipment? And I go, no, Jay, I didn't hit record on the podcast equipment. He didn't fucking record any of it. Let me tell you something.

You haven't been sexy at all since we started recording. So why don't you start doing your job and start being fucking sexy?

Jesus, that's a low blow, Jason. All right, just roll the intro music.

Views.

What's up guys, it's the Views Podcast. That's Jason, I'm David. Been seeing a lot of DMs saying that they really love the sex stuff on the podcast, which one, is surprising, and two, we're gonna make sure we give you more of that, but we're gonna keep that till later in the podcast. So just like television, The later you wait, it gets dirtier. So tune in later. And by later, I mean probably like the 4-minute mark, because we just— that's all we actually do. We talk about is just masturbating and jerking off.

Is all the nudity at the end of television?

Yeah, all the nudity comes up. So if you're listening with your parents, turn the podcast off at like, like the 25-minute mark or like 30-minute mark or some shit. Yeah. Or just, or just fucking build this crazy cool relationship with your parents. I'll break, I'll break the ice for you guys right now. Turn to your mother or father and go, what was it like having sex? No. Okay, no, I don't do that. Don't do that. All right, let's just talk about this stuff. First thing I want to bring up, super important. Have you guys seen the shit where, like, have you guys ever eaten an orange in the shower? Apparently it's like a thing. I feel like, Madison, you would know.

It's like, it's like when people say Doritos taste the best after you just went swimming.

Yeah. Have you heard about this orange while you're showering thing?

I've heard of it. I've never done it though. Have you done the soy sauce ball thing?

Yeah, we did.

Jason, Jason dipped his balls in the soy sauce. No, but it stunk up the living room. My couch is stained from soy sauce now. No, no, but I, I understand, like, people say the orange, like, it feels good when there's like cold water hitting your face and then it's like juicy in your mouth. I, I don't know, it feels right.

100% chips out of the pool is amazing.

Chips out of the pool are hitting amazing.

Ruffles.

Uh, Jeff, thanks for joining us. A couple weeks ago we were talking about how once one of my assistants Taylor drove you home And we were all on— and that night you were flirting with her very much.

I'm not going to say anything. I heard the podcast. And first of all, I don't like how you addressed Todd and I, my two scumbag friends. What the fuck?

I never said that. I never said that.

You said, don't hook up with any of my friends because they're scumbags, especially Todd and Jeff.

I never said what I said.

Okay, so there was one day— Taylor, explain what happened.

We were all watching a movie here. He asked for a ride home. No, that's it, right?

Great job, great job.

No, no, that sounds pretty suspicious, Taylor.

No, Taylor, it is a little suspicious with Uber and Lyft and all of Jeff's friends that drive in places.

No, pandemic.

I'm not trying to get a virus.

Exactly. You were gone all night.

Yeah, it was, it was—

I went home.

No, she like— it was, it was done. She was leaving for the night.

I forgot.

And that's why it was BS. Jeff, you were talking to Taylor extra long that day, and I remember, I remember Like about a couple hours before that, you walked up to me and as a joke you said, I'm gonna fuck your other assistant.

Yeah, I've been saying that to you for a while now, even before Taylor was your assistant.

Yes, I know, but like then I thought it was happening. I thought you guys were going to hook up. And from today, today Jeff comes up to me and he goes, hey, Taylor did a good job of covering up for us.

Exactly.

Wait, what? Oh, so you did hook up with Jeff?

Oh no, no, no, Jeff.

No, Taylor's an angel. I was trying to actually take her and hire her to work for my team over at Wittig Enterprises. That was my goal. I wasn't trying to hook up with her.

Taylor, would you ever leave if someone poached you for a job? Like, what would it take for you to leave?

A lot.

No way. Beyond— I mean, actually, I believe that, but what would it be? Because you're very, like, loyal and you're very, like—

give me a number, anything. I'll make it happen.

I mean, not—

okay, Taylor, let's say Let's say someone came and they were like, hey, we want you to— BuzzFeed comes up to you and they're like, hey, we want you to come work for us, $200,000 salary, and you get to live in a mansion.

No. Bullshit.

I am so loyal. Yes, you are loyal, but you're not going to leave for a $200,000 salary.

And somebody that appreciates your pork chops. I saw you cooking that real quick. She's right. I appreciate pork chops.

She said I chewed it up and spit it out. I appreciate the pork chops she made. I just said they weren't like my mom's. I'm just going to say— My mom— Taylor was trying to make this recipe that my mom makes, and it just wasn't too close to my mother's. This sounds horrible. So I spit it on her. No, but Taylor, what would it take? Honestly, what's the number that someone could say that would get you out of here?

Well, all it would take is one more meal that gets put down into the trash.

I'll go eat that pork chop out of the garbage right now. Thank you. Yeah.

And Jeff.

Yeah, you want to go out and fucking work for Jeff?

The way these two are looking at each other is weird.

That's—

and I know you're picking up on this.

I think we may have triggered something. That's my problem now. Like, as we were talking, I was like, fuck, we just made something happen.

Yeah.

When I, when I heard the podcast, I was like, fuck, he fucked up my game plan.

I blew it up.

You aired it out.

I was trying to hook up with Taylor, but okay, well, can you start what you said over there? Can you introduce yourself first?

I'm Addison.

What's your name? Sounds like a porn star name, but she is a TikToker.

I'm a TikToker.

And what did you say over there off mic?

Okay, so me and Todd and Mike were sitting on the couch and I'm like looking at my indirects on Twitter and I'm like, oh my gosh, like getting upset about it. And then Mike looks over at me and he's like, look, those people don't matter.

They—

that's not your real friends. This is your real people. This is real friends, real life. And I'm like, yeah, but David wouldn't talk to me if I didn't have TikTok followers.

Do you actually believe that?

Yes. Oh, and here's David agreeing with me, nodding his head.

David, is it true?

You're a smart girl. No, no, of course not. No, I actually, I actually really do like you. And Charlie lives on the East Coast, so it's gonna be—

I think you're great.

No, Addison, I will— I have said this behind like your back, and I will, I will rep you for— oh God, no, seriously, I genuinely think you're a really, really cool person. I've said this to you. I fucking said this to you the other day. I think you're like one of the The only people on that app that has like potential that like—

he has said this about you. He said this about you to me.

Yeah, that exceeds the app. And you know that. And that's why I'm friends with you. I think I can milk you for way longer than this.

And because I have followers. But no, what I was saying too was like the other day I was like doing this deal and I like look at my phone and it's blowing up. It's like Natalie missed call like 4 times, like David FaceTimed me 5 times and I'm like, oh my God, they miss me or something. I really did. I was like, are they gonna ask me to come by? Like, they miss me. And then I look at my text and Natalie's like, SOS urgent. And I'm like, oh no. I'm like, did something happen? Like, I'm glad they're reaching out to me to help them. Immediately call Natalie back right when I see that text message. And, and it's David that picks up and goes, so I'm trying to post a TikTok right now, it's not letting me record with the green screen on top. So what do I do? And I'm like, my heart was racing. I was like thinking I needed to help you guys with something.

That's fucked up. Yeah, I'm sorry. I didn't know you were in the middle of a brand deal. I just didn't know how to record with the green screen option. And you know fucking everything about that app.

That's what I'm here for.

That was my fault. Okay, let's get into this. Addison, for those of you, for those people listening that don't know who you are, how many followers do you have on TikTok?

I have 45.1 million.

That's crazy. And when this podcast is probably out, you'll probably be at 46. I feel like such a, like an old, like Like Ryan Seacrest talking to somebody. And when this— and then when you guys are listening to this, she'll probably already be at 50 million. That's how fast she's growing, ladies and gentlemen. Um, so 45 million. And how many months ago did you start TikTok?

Um, I started the beginning of July. That's when I downloaded the app.

I downloaded the app less than a year ago. Yeah, less than a year ago you started TikTok and you have one of the biggest followings in the world, and it's completely translated to your Instagram now, right? Like you get You get like basically Kylie Jenner likes, I would say. No, I'm being honest, right? What is that? What is that like? What is it going from being in— what were you in high school? Were you in college? You're in college? Yeah. What was that like? Where was it? Where did you go? Oh my God, what the fuck is going on? Because this is like an actual like overnight type of thing. Like I feel like other people like, like it's like a slow build, but it literally happened in like minutes? Like, what was the first video where you blew up?

Um, well, my first video that I ever posted, which is like not even on my page anymore, um, it got like 93,000 likes in like 2 days, and it was like my first video and it was very random. And then I ended up like posting more after that just because I was like, okay, this is weird, like I've never gotten more than like 105 likes. And, um, I posted my mom, and that was my first video to get a million likes, with me and my mom lip-syncing.

That's fucking crazy. When did people's mindset change about you? Like, when did they either— did they go like, when you first started TikTok, when you're uploading like 1 or 2, 3 videos on the app, like, what do people think of you then? Were they like, oh, this girl's so— she's such a loser for posting? Or what was the first impression people got, like, when you were posting before you got any followers?

Um, no, I think— I mean, I just graduated high school, so I'm sure those people thought I was pretty weird, right? But I think like for the most part, I mean, like, I was My first post on my TikTok right now is like me in a cowboy hat. So like, I think a lot of people were like, oh, this is a Southern girl. Like, people weren't used to seeing like country people, I guess.

And then how fast did people like change up on you? Like, they were either jealous and they would like send you something mean, or they wanted something from you?

Um, I mean, that happened probably honestly like right around the time when I got like 300,000 followers. That— because I remember like me and my mom like made this huge deal about like how I got 300,000 because there's just so much to think.

Your mom's using you for clout?

Yes, 100%.

No, honestly, like she— well, like I said, like she— my video of her and I was like the first one to like really blow up. And that's how people like knew me. It was like my mom.

Yeah.

What is that like when like— because your parents both have TikToks, right? What is that like when they're making TikToks also and they ask you to be in them? Like, I remember one time my dad posted something. He posted something. Do you remember this? He posted something and I was like, He'd never fucking post that. He's just posting it because I know he thinks he's going to get likes. Like, is it ever like that?

Are you ever like, my dad's just fucking fishing for like, oh, my dad for sure.

Oh my God.

Yeah.

Like, my dad is— I don't even want to speak of his—

wake up. I don't even know.

How do I do green screen?

No, seriously, it's the worst. My, my mom's a little more like aware and like careful about what she posts because she like realizes that a lot of people see it. But like my dad, like it's such— oh my god, I can't even speak about it. I tell him to delete it.

Oh yeah.

Yeah, because they're like really embarrassing and I'm like, oh my gosh, I can't—

Charlie almost made me delete pictures today of her.

I was like, whoa, that is so bizarre.

Yeah, and then she goes, Addison commented on it, just leave it. I was like, okay. My daughter is obsessed with Addison. And talk about— to talk about feeling insecure, Okay, so, um, Charlie called me like Wednesday and she was like, she's like, Addison's hanging out with David, Addison's hanging out with David. And I was like, David didn't fucking call me. So I mean, like, you know, everyone feels that way.

Yeah. And then Jason commented whale on my TikTok.

Addison made it so you can't comment the word whale on her TikTok, and then I went in to see and you can. So for those of you—

now there's one comment that says whale from Jason Nash. Addison, you're in the— you're what, top 3 TikTokers in the world? Top 2?

Uh, yeah, I'm number 2 on the app.

Okay, what, what is the most amount somebody on the app has gotten paid for one TikTok?

For one TikTok that I'm aware of that someone has gotten paid for? Yeah, that I'm aware of.

Yes, that you know.

We think you'd be pretty aware if you're the right—

I'm just saying like from a broad—

Yes, somebody, anybody, it could be you, could be somebody else, anybody.

Yeah.

Let's all guess.

Okay, go.

Okay, I'll take a guess.

I can guess right now.

Okay, go.

$80,000.

Oh, I was gonna say more than that.

No fucking way.

I was gonna say easily like for 45 million people.

No, it just doesn't engage as much.

I think, you know, it's got to be, it's got to be more than that.

No, I'm saying one post. I'm not saying a record label takes you and makes ads from you.

$250,000.

90, but yeah, but that's like 90,000. What I know is like what someone's been—

because TikTok is still new, so like brands don't want to— they, they want to see how it works first, you know? Like 250,000 is kind of numbers you see on Instagram more because it's like Madison Beer is here, everybody, too.

So Madison, I'm gonna flip the question to you. What is the most you've seen for one Instagram post?

Instagram's insane. People get paid like a million dollars for a story. Some people—

you've seen one person get paid for a story a million dollars?

Yes.

How many frames?

How many views do they get?

Like 5 frames, probably.

Or 5 frames. Okay.

I don't know.

So 5 Insta stories.

I know for a fact that they're not doing it for less than a million.

And how many opens do they get?

40 million views.

Okay, that makes sense.

Yeah, that does make sense. I was thinking you're gonna be like 5 million. I was like, what am I doing wrong?

But I guess that's a swipe up, right? And there's no link.

Yeah, it's like swipe up, it's full. People, people, by the way, just to preface, and this is not talking about myself, but like there are people with hundreds of millions of followers on Instagram and like their reach as much. Like with TikTok, you can't engage with things as much as you can on Instagram.

So that's why the thing I hate about like TikTok prices is people think that these TikTokers get paid per post.

Yeah.

So like everyone will do math and they'll be like Addison Rae gets paid $45,000 per post.

Oh my God, I know.

And it's not like she posts 400,000 posts up and then it's like they make up some ridiculous—

yeah, they're like, oh my God, she's posted 30 times this week, which means she's made $18 million this week alone. No, it's only when it's branded is you make money.

Yeah, and who's that guy that does everybody's net worth? Have you seen that?

Before we finish this conversation, can we throw the question to you? Yeah, what's the most you know of someone getting paid on YouTube for like a— on YouTube geek type, like middle of a video thing?

Yeah, someone like similar to you. Yeah, so on your channel, if you had to say what—

yeah, and also I want to know, to be honest, the top 3 YouTubers make the most money.

The top 3 YouTubers who make the most money?

Yeah, I'm curious.

I think it's, uh, Ryan Toy Reviews.

Yeah, I know him because he has a drug problem.

He's an 8-year-old who reviews toys.

What?

He's the— he's the highest-paid YouTuber. I think he makes like $2 million a month. This could be off. Yeah, it's— it's completely ridiculous.

My inspiration.

Fuck this channel.

Fuck you, Mom and Dad.

I want my Coke.

Yeah. Okay. So like a big YouTuber can get— it's not even that crazy compared to like the big Instagrammers, but it's like $500,000 for an integration on YouTube. For like a 20, 30-second plug, I would say. Yeah, no, but, but yeah, you're right. Yeah, it is bizarre, but there's much more than people get on Instagram.

Yeah, but I feel like, or then like the big—

but I feel like Instagram stories, like I have— I too have seen people that get paid hundreds of thousands of dollars for stories and it's like ridiculous. Yeah, but like YouTube is more of like a production you're putting on. We talked about this earlier. Would any of you girls, Madison or Addison, would any of you guys consider an OnlyFans? Because we were talking about how much money people make on there? You could be honest. You guys are looking at each other like you don't wanna reveal it yet.

I wouldn't because I think that I—

Would crash the site.

I just think that like, and I don't remotely shame anyone who does it because everyone has their own hustle and like power to you in my opinion. But like, I don't know, I just feel like with my music and stuff, I feel like it would just kind of like take away or make your—

or take your music to the next level.

But I just would rather like the way I make my money, like at the end of the day, to be from my music than other ways. But like literally, like mad respect to any girl who has the bravery and like the confidence to do that, because that takes a lot of confidence and it's dope.

What about you, Addison?

I don't know. I feel like after you said that, I kind of like get that.

I changed my mind.

Makes a lot of sense. I was thinking about just, you know, saying I was going to do it, but no, I don't know. I feel like that makes sense, you know. I feel like if I were to take everything I have, like, and put it a different way, it'd probably be like, you know, continuing to dance and like hopefully do like dancing for shows and like not those kind of—

you want to take away from your craft?

Yeah, I don't want to take it away from—

if like, if man OnlyFans, yeah, I'd do it. Yeah. But yeah, if like male bodies were as in demand as female bodies are, would you do OnlyFans? Would that If people wanted to see you naked, is that like a thing that you would—

bizarre world that I'm crafting?

Because I know— because I know I'd be like, fuck yeah, like, I'm kind of down. But only if I was a woman. Only if I was a woman. Like, if it was like switched and it was like, you know, because women bodies are cool. Men are just like, I think it sucks when like a lot of—

I see a lot of girls get so much hate for making OnlyFans and I'm just like, power to you. Like, that's—

oh my God, it makes you happy.

I don't see hate at all.

Yeah, I actually—

I feel like the internet's really welcoming to that.

No, some part of the internet, like, y'all You can hate on me all you want, but this is how much money I make a month or whatever.

Oh my God, I have multiple friends. I have multiple friends that have done OnlyFans and it's fucking insane, like how much they're making. And they're doing something that they're like, they're not even like doing anything that they're like really ashamed of. They're just like, oh yeah, I would take these pictures of myself anyway.

Yeah.

And now I'm just putting it out for a couple of people to see. Like, I don't really mind that. Yeah, but you would, Jason? 100%.

No.

Why are you saying that?

Right. So, Jason, you want— I knew it.

Jason, I wouldn't. I wouldn't do that.

What would—

what would you— would you have a conversation with your daughter if she turned 19 and she made an OnlyFans?

No, no, no, I would not ever. Absolutely not.

You wouldn't bring it up?

I would. I would fucking lock her in the closet.

Oh, you wouldn't want her to do it? Oh, I thought you—

oh yeah, I know.

Fuck no. And not because there's anything wrong with doing OnlyFans, but I think when you're 19, as a dad, of course you might not know if that's the right thing for you then. Right, that's all.

But if you were like 26, I'd be like, Dad, look, I made $800,000 last month. Let me see that. Right, right.

Let me see that. Let me see the money. Let me look at it. Yeah, that's money all right.

I haven't seen money like this since the Vlog Squad. Jonah got an email today and it was like, hey, um, SNL's wondering if you'd like to come audition. For SNL, like just from like an agent, and it looked like it was like an open cast. It wasn't like, hey, Lorne Michaels really, really wants you here to audition, right? Like it wasn't like that. It was just one of those— I read the email and it was like, hey, SNL needs some new cast members, would you like to come audition? And then Jonah spent the next, I don't know, 40 minutes talking to us, and he's going like, I don't know if I want to leave you guys. I'd have to go— I probably have to live in New York. And I'm like, bro, you haven't even fucking began to send the audition tape in.

I talked to— I took him to get fried chicken and he was saying the whole time, how do I tell him?

Yeah.

Okay.

All right, guys.

Jonah thinks that like that's his way of like manifesting. So he thinks that if he like talks about it like that, that he'll get it. But you've done that with other things that like aren't coming true.

But it is the complete wrong approach. In this business, you have to be extremely lucky., and you go at it like, oh, this is already in the bag.

It's got nothing to do with luck. I mean, in my case, yes, it does.

Jonah, you need to learn from underpromising and overdelivering. I think that's what you need to start doing.

I don't know, man. He's so far gone. I think he's just— I think it's best he just fucking stupidly roasts through life. I swear to God, David, he'll fucking get SNL. He'll get it. Like, you know, he'll just get it. Like, someone will just see him and Lorne Michaels will be like, you're so fucking dumb, let's do it.

You know what I mean? Jonah, listen, there's a couple things that I verbally say out loud, I have a spasm and I just say it, I go, look at this beautiful view, and I go, look at this beautiful car, and my third thing is always, how fucking lucky is Jonah to have found any of us? Because it is crazy, there is no other job in the world he could possibly be doing than being, literally his job is to not know what's going on, that is his job. He has the perfect job in the world right now. He couldn't do anything else, he'd be late to work, Yeah, he wouldn't, he wouldn't finish this task.

And I got to say, Jonah, like, piss off his boss.

And guys, I'm not saying this to be mean. This is Jonah. You can agree to this, right?

This is a guarantee.

Yeah, this is— I mean, have you ever worked another job anywhere else?

Yeah. Where? I got fired. All of them. Where did my uncle's paint shop? And I ended up dropping like an $800 paint and I got fired.

Your uncle fired you?

Yeah. From painting? From— feel like that's, that's probably the easiest.

It was like car supplies and stuff.

And— but David, imagine, you know how it would be on a real TV show, right? So Monday he would need to be at SNL to write. He would need to be there on Wednesday at noon for the read-through with the host. Yeah, they get all the scripts noon. You got to fucking be there because, you know, especially Alec Baldwin's the host or someone huge, like especially in New York.

No fucking way. There's a Dunkin' Donuts around every corner. He'll fucking get stopped. There's no way he's going to— he would get lost in the big city. There's no way he'd make it to work on time. Jonah, if you got the job, SNL, if they hired you, would you take it?

I don't know, man.

You'd have to.

You just blew your chances of ever getting it. No, I'm kidding.

No, I, I, okay, I wouldn't.

I would. Okay, explain to me, like, explain to me what goes on in your mind. Have you ever, have you ever another job other than the painting job? Yeah. Okay, what was your other job? What's another job you worked?

I mean, I didn't make a single penny. OnlyFans? No, I tried to be a fucking truck dispatcher.

What the fuck does that mean? You were dispatching trucks?

Yeah. What does that mean?

Like, you sat there and you were like, hey, you need to go northbound?

Yeah.

To Vermont? Yeah. Jonah, be serious.

I swear to God, dead fucking ass. I did it for 3 months. Didn't make a single fucking penny.

What do you mean you were a truck dispatch? How does someone even get into this?

Like, 6 years ago, dog, I was like, yeah, it was long.

How old were you 6 years ago?

Fucking 19, bro.

You were 19, 18, 19.

And how old are you?

I had a job.

How did you not make money? How did you not make money? Would you send the trucks the wrong way?

No, I just— okay, so this is— it's a really fucked up business. So what they do is like they literally hustle the drivers, but I didn't know how to lie. Like, I would— you'd have to like lowball the shit out of the trucker so you can make like $300.

Sounds like they were hustling you.

Maybe, but like they— all these guys would be on the phone. Yeah, like, I'm gonna load you up, you a quick run, like, and then they make like $400 in the middle.

What type of scam artist business did you get yourself into?

And then I couldn't do it. Like, I couldn't talk to these guys, feel bad and stuff, so I'd give them every single penny. I'd go like, you know what, bro, They're giving $2,300. Take it all.

Well, hey, it's a two-way street, bro. We're lucky to have you too. And, you know, 100%, we need every— every gym needs a punching bag.

If he gets SNL, David, what will you do?

If Jonah gets SNL? Yeah, I'm gonna be super stoked for him. Genuinely, I'd be so happy for him. Like, that's nice. Jonah is one of the only— Jonah is also in my, like, top, like, 5 of favorite people. Sure. Like, I, I've said that before. It's like, it's like Ilya, Jonah, like my friends from my hometown, Mike Sheffer. It's like, wow, nice. It's like, it's like a very weird list. It's, and it's very specific.

It's based on who we can make fun of the best.

It is that. No, it genuinely is that. I don't know what it is, but I love the people that I can just make fun of. And I could, I don't know, I love Jonah to fucking death. Like, I miss him so much when he's not around. I'm not even kidding. I know I sound like I'm bullshitting, but like going to college shows with him is the fucking best. Him and his sister, two fucking dumb shits. No, I'm just kidding. No, but they are. They're great. I love them. Ilya, I know there was a time you told me about this, but you were thinking about selling cocaine.

Yeah, there was a time, but I know—

explain it.

What happened?

Oh yeah, I was riding along with Dima the other day. He's like, yeah, you know what, one time Ilya and I were seriously considering starting a cocaine business.

I was like, what? Yeah, yeah, it was like, uh, this scheme that we had in high school. We were like 18. I was working at like OfficeMax, and one day we were like Yeah, let's just start like hauling drugs over the Canadian border. Yeah, Jeff. Uh, no, yeah, it was— and then we like really went deep into it and like we got super stoked about it.

What do you mean by deep into it? Like, did you actually plan on purchasing some, finding ways to transport it?

Yeah, we started like—

did you talk to my cousin Vinny? How deep were you, bro?

Yeah, we started like figuring out our team, right? Like, who's gonna do what? Like, was going to like go across the border.

You guys would have been in jail in a fucking week.

I don't think so.

Yes, Ilya. Wait, Jeff, there was one time we were in Miami and this guy walked up to you and you went, this guy just got out of jail. You remember that guy?

Everybody in Miami I know just got out of jail.

No, but you're like, you're like, he didn't snitch on one of my friends or something happened.

Oh yeah.

Explain that. So I thought that was fucking crazy.

So he was not selling cocaine. He was ordering Bricks of synthetic molly from an Indian website, and he could get them for like $3,000 on the website. But you're sending your money to a random— this is like I'm giving a shitty tutorial on how to sell drugs, right? But this didn't work. He got a long time in jail.

Don't try this. Don't do this.

But he, he was ordering these, these bricks, and they would come in protein powder bottles, right? And each one that he paid $3,000 for, he was able to sell for $30. On the street.

So $30,000?

$30,000.

Yeah. Okay, wow.

And then if you break it down and sell it in like ounces and stuff, you could get $60,000.

Okay, okay, sorry, sorry. You said for every $3,000 he'd make $30,000 on the street. Now how easy is it to go out and convert this into real cash? Like, how— like, I've always wondered this. Like, when like robbers walk away with like 30,000 or 30 pounds of gold or something and they're like, this is worth $25 million, I go, where How the fuck are you getting all this money for the gold? Like, how do you then get— how do you then transfer the gold into cash? So like, how did— where do you sell that coke? Is there like a guy that you go to that everybody goes to? How does that work?

You build up a clientele just like any business. Like when you first started selling merch, you weren't selling as much as you're selling now. It takes time. And you're like, yeah, it's different. You're not advertising it.

So Fanjoy is a coke operation?

No, no, no, no, no.

Right.

You meet a couple— I met everybody from the barbershop. I worked in a barbershop, so everybody came in.

From the barbershop.

Yeah. Everybody comes in, you have to talk to them for 30 minutes. They're sketchy. Anybody wants a haircut any 3 days, every 3 days is probably okay.

And then what happened?

It's kind of out of context. Does anyone else use ROFL anymore?

All right, let us roll for a laugh. It's really out of context, bro. Just telling a story about how— what did you say?

Yeah.

And you know, I just realized, how come every time you bring me on here to talk about fucking drug dealing, you brought it up, dumbass.

Yeah.

And you grab the mic, you're like, okay, let me interview him.

Oh yeah, you were literally— you grabbed the mic from Jason, you She said, let me interview Ilya, I know about drugs.

I only ever sold weed.

That was it. I get that. But okay, $30,000. What happened with your buddy? Explain to me. He got arrested?

Oh, he got, he got very greedy. And that one that he bought ended up buying 60, and then he was buying 100.

And then how much was he making a week?

He made a lot of fucking money. I don't even know. Back then I was 19 and I was drunk every day, but he made a lot of money.

And then what happened? He got caught. And what happened?

He did 7 years.

7 years straight. Yeah. And he didn't snitch on somebody?

No. And my other friend who was selling a lot of them also, he didn't get caught. He's just a lucky, lucky guy.

What's something that no one understands here? Déjà vu. Déjà vu is pretty cool. Yeah, déjà vu is so cool.

I never had déjà vu.

Bullshit. You've never had déjà vu? Never had it.

I've been to the strip club déjà vu. I know what déjà vu is.

He's been to déjà vu.

Déjà vu is when you have a familiar feeling.

Wait, wait, wait, wait, no, no, no, no, no.

It's when something, something happens around you and you know it's happened before. You feel like it's happened before.

You've experienced that exact— stop, stop, Jason. You've never experienced déjà vu?

I don't think so. I don't think I have.

No. I had the weirdest déjà vu experience when I was like, I don't know, 8. I remember to this day because it was so fucking insanely weird. I was having déjà vu and I was watching the TV screen and I guess what was next, and I remember I'm like, they're gonna show a horse, and they fucking showed a horse, bro.

It was—

I, I promise you, I'm not lying.

It's literally Toy Story.

I know, it was, it was a real horse.

It was a commercial. It was watching a horse.

It was a commercial. So you couldn't fucking guess a commercial?

Have you guys ever heard of lucid dreaming?

Yes.

Yes.

Yeah.

Okay, so, uh, this is a real story, real story. So, uh, so I'm sleeping Right. And I wake up in my dream. It's all my dream. I wake up. I'm in the driveway. No drive-through. No, no, I'm in the drive-through.

Zane said drive-through.

Wait, say it again. Craziest fucking— I'm in my driveway and I start walking down and I look through my window. I don't see me because my blinds are closed. And I thought to myself, I'm like, holy shit. I'm like, I'm freaking dreaming and my body's sleeping inside my room. I thought all that and I started to walk. I started to walk inside. Like, I started to, like, open the door to my house and he's just describing a dream.

It's not a lucid dream.

He's just describing a dream that he has.

It's not a lucid dream. He's like, So I was sleeping and I was in the sky.

Yeah, Jonah, that's just a dream. No, bro, I'm telling you. Jonah, do you know what a lucid dream is? Yes, you wake, you got— you, you fucking know you're dreaming. You like leave your body, like—

no, that's out-of-body experience. Yes, there are other types of dreams.

Okay, so do you ever go to sleep at night and then like something happens when you wake up, but like you're still like living in the same house?

All right, fine, I'll say another one.

I'll say another one. When you were sleeping, Jonah, hold on, timeout. The problem with you telling these stories is there's something about your character that like, that like there's something about like it's like so not believable and also like so believable. It's like, yeah, you fucking have those thoughts probably throughout the day. I do. You're like having out-of-body experiences. Okay. So bizarre where your dreams like don't add up in a way.

Watch, watch, watch, watch.

I know, but like, that's what I'm saying is you can go on all day saying things, but it's hard to— do you know how to explain it? Like, because of who he is. Yeah, it's hard to—

like, he has no credibility.

No credibility, right?

No credibility. Okay, I'm gonna ask him. I'll see you guys for a while. All right, so, uh, another one I had— I actually lucid dreamed I fucking was Superman.

Okay, how did you lucid dream?

I'm not kidding. I fucking knew I was dreaming, and I looked down, I'm like, holy fuck. I'm like, I want to fly. And I fucking— I put my hand up like Superman and I fucking shot into the air.

That was Halloween 1999.

No, no, I swear to God, this is real. I actually— like, my biggest fucking thing when people are leaving the room, my biggest thing about like—

this is what SNL is gonna look like in a couple of years.

All right, give us what you got, give us what you got.

No, no, whatever, dude.

So we really like the Superman story and we're wondering if you could do it for the cold open.

So I was dreaming and I thought I was Superman. I shot up in the sky. It's Saturday Night Live with Nick Antonio and his Superman story.

Shout out to this guy. Live from New York, it's Saturday night.

Bro, when I get picked up by Saturday SNL, you guys are going to fucking miss me so much. And I'm going to miss you guys. I'm going to miss you guys a lot. I don't know how I'm going to deal with it. I have no idea how I'm going to deal with it.

He gets hired on Wednesday, he's home by Friday. Didn't work out. Matt was saying he wouldn't make it through the first SNL party that they had. Jonah goes to New York, he works Monday through Friday, and then goes out for drinks Saturday night to celebrate the hard work week. Jonah, where were you? It's fucking Saturday Night Live.

He thinks he has Saturday off.

You didn't come to work. You don't have Saturday off. Um, have you ever had a dream where you're having sex with someone and then you wake up and you actually finished in real life?

No.

By the way, Creepy Mike is back on the podcast. Oh wait, I didn't hear what you said. Uh, what, what did you say? I said, I said, by the way, Creepy Mike is back on the podcast. Uh, Joe, take out the creepy part. No, um, uh, no, I've never done— you've done that? Yeah, you've, you've come inside your dream? Yes. And it's also on the outside of your dream? It's called an internal emission. You fucking— a nocturnal emission. There's a Wikipedia article about it. That sounds like something Elon Musk would try to get rid of. A nocturnal emission.

You wake, you wake up, you have like cum all over you, you're like, what the fuck's going on?

Really?

Yeah.

And then you're like, I had sex in my dream.

Yeah. Yeah. Wow. That is never— you've never had a wet dream before? I have had sex in a dream, like maybe once or twice. Do you think you could make yourself come without touching yourself? Like tantric sex? Like, oh, like with my mind right now?

Yeah.

Like by myself?

Yes.

No, probably. Fuck.

If you don't jerk off, if you don't jerk off for like 20 days, you'll probably be.

Yeah.

If I can't— if I don't jerk off for a while.

Yes, 100%. If I were to knock on your door in your bathroom and I was like, hey, Dave, are you jerking off? Would you be honest with me?

Yeah, I would. Because yesterday I knocked on your bathroom door and I said, are you jerking off?

I was honest.

I was actually pooping. Oh, okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, I would be honest with you.

That's the worst. And David knocks on the door and goes, hey, you jerking off in there?

Whether you are or not, you know, I walked in on Jason masturbating. Yeah, yeah, I saw that video. Where? Fucking crazy, Matt. Listen to this. I'm fucking— I FaceTime him. He doesn't know I'm at his house. And I FaceTime him like, hey, what are you doing today? Like, as a joke, whatever. And then he's like, nothing, I'll be over at your place in a little bit. He hangs up. Literally 20 seconds later, I bust into his door. I say, what's up? And, and, and all of a sudden he fucking like grabs his fucking blanket, puts it right up, and he goes— and he goes, this is how you can tell he was jerking off— he goes, David, what are you doing here? Like, I've never seen him so angry. For me to come over. He's like, what are you doing here, dude? What the hell? Like, I told you I'm coming soon, man. I'll be at your house. And he was so mad, and I left, and I didn't admit that I— and I— and we didn't speak about it until the next day when I brought it up in front of all our friends when I was vlogging, because like it was so awkward that we both just pretended like we didn't— we didn't experience that moment.

As soon as I heard that camera turn on the next day, I went click.

I was like, oh, this is Here you go. She's going to bring up me. And I remember I was like, guys, yesterday I caught Jason. And Jason goes, fuck. And that was the first time me and him like addressed the situation like on the camera. And he was like, fuck, here it comes. And I was like, should I talk about it? And he's like, no, you can.

You can. Do you guys remember when you'd catch like people jacking off to porn in libraries because there was no computers at home? Oh, we saw somebody doing it all the time though.

We just did. We got— we caught somebody a year ago, remember? In the vlog. I don't know if you saw it, but we caught a guy jerking off in a public library with kids around to porn.

Yeah, dude, that, that's crazy. I mean, that, like, that was like recently.

Yeah, it was recently.

I was like, that's crazy.

That shit's so— Jason went up to him.

How is that still happening?

I have no idea. Everybody has a fucking computer. I've never seen anything like that in my entire life. I thought, I thought I was being pranked. You've never seen that before?

No, that time, dude, I saw in my library all the fucking time. They'd always be removed. Like, it would be so discreet. The person would come up to them and tap them on the shoulder, be like Hey, can you turn off the computer and go? But everybody—

everybody—

because you'd watch this like guy the whole time, and then you'd see the person come around, tap them on the shoulder, and make them shut off their shit and walk out. But it was so awkward every time.

How do you go there and like plan on not getting fucking caught?

Hey, I don't know.

I don't know.

It's gonna suck getting the tap at the library, huh? Someone comes over, gives you a tap on the shoulder.

It's like, you're right, you're right about it. But it's like, fuck, wait, wait, wait, wait. I'm gonna need you to log out. I'm gonna need you to log out. All right guys, well, that's all the time we have for today's podcast. Thank you guys for listening. Thank you to all our special guests. I feel like we had like 30 of them, um, this week. Go follow Jason on social medias, go follow me on social medias, follow everybody, um, and we'll see you guys later. Um, this has been Reviews Podcast. My name is Jeff.