Why I May Get Deported -- DACA

Douchiest, most douchey person I know. That's the biggest American. When I go out— mouth hotshot, smacks his lips at the table, calls the waiter with his hand, excuse me, excuse me, sits down, sits down before the waiter could even speak and says, we're in a…

Every time I have a waiter, I'm always just like, I'm always like, listen, this is my exact line for every waiter. And I know they spit in my food after every time I say this, but I go, hey, I'm trying to say this in the least douchey way possible, but we're…

Go even slower.

Yeah.

I still say it anyways because I'm a bitch.

Sometimes it works.