The Worst Surprise Of My Life

So deadass is like—

this is David's weird little thing that he thinks the entire fucking world needs to know about.

So I have this thing where, like, deadass, if you— if you're— if you're, like, making a joke or something, like, hey, man, I just— I just— Robert Downey Jr. just said he thinks I'm cute. And then you go, deadass?

That person has to tell you the truth, right? It's like— it's like the— it's like some people say Bible. Some people say swear to God. Oh, some people say swear on your mother. Deadass is like my, like, you can't lie on this or you're like going to fucking he…

Yeah.

And, and the other day Jason brought over a Ferrari and, and Jason was like, look what I bought. This is my new car. And I go, deadass? And he goes, yeah. And I go, what? And I go, I know he's lying, but why is he lying on this word? So I got really mad at hi…