Sleeping With My Horny Friend

Tune in the next God. Okay, so this is an interesting— somebody, somebody asked, I won't say their name because this is fucking insane, but they said, help, my cousin is in love with me. Oh, January 2024. Yeah, this is from Susie Antonian. Oh my God, she's talking about Arman Antonian. January, January 2024, I got a random message from an unknown number saying 'Hey.' So I said, 'What's up?' And then started saying how much they were obsessed— and then they started saying how much they were obsessed with me and they couldn't stop thinking about me for years and that they were in love with me. I told them to tell me who they were, but they said they couldn't. I was so curious to find out who this person was, I fed into it saying, 'You miss 100% of the shots you don't take.' He kept giving me hints like he knew me for a long time and my childhood address and memories. This is so fucking weird, especially like, whatever, you're in love with your cousin, just fucking say it. Don't tease at it. Be like, 'I know where you were when you were 5.' 'After this, I ignored all the messages because I knew it was a family member at this point. Eventually, he revealed himself to be one of my cousins, but I ignored the message. And every month since then, he's been texting me, even if I block the number. The advice I need is what to do when I eventually see him, and how do I make it not awkward? I don't want my family to know. It's embarrassing. I obviously want to fuck him and sit on his face.' So from now on, every time I read one of these, I'm gonna add a sentence that's not real. I'll give you that one. That last sentence was not real. I didn't make that part up.