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Looking Up My Girlfriend on Pornhub

You make me sound like Shrek.

April 19, 201818:54Jason
18:54/0:00
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David18:13
Yeah, if you ever wake up Jason—
Jason18:15
You know that fan contest we're gonna have in a few months?
David18:17
Sleep with Jason. No, if you ever wake up Jason and you just pull back the sheets, it's just a fucking— it just, it looks like a garbage bin. It's just a shit ton of wrappers because he eats at night. He eats at night. One day I slept on his couch and it was…
Jason18:54
You make me sound like Shrek.
David18:57
And then he said, this is my swamp. He went back to bed.
Jason19:01
No, but I— when I wake up in the middle of the night, he eats, and I have to eat to go back to bed. It's the best feeling in the world. Yeah, it knocks me out.
David19:09
Yeah, that's really weird.