Living the American Dream

It's my inner monologue. He's like, oh shit, he's calling me, and then if I don't pick up, I'm just gonna— he's gonna start fucking yelling at me the next time I talk to him. So then I picked up. I actually— this is honestly what happened. Yeah, it rang, I picked up I hit decline before I even said anything to you because I was in the locker room. It didn't work. And now I'm talking to you, and then you're like— the first thing out of David's mouth is, are you masturbating? Because I did have my shirt off and my hair was slicked back because I always slick my hair back before I jerk off. And, uh, and then it— and then it cut out. I don't know if, you know, whatever.