Jason Hates Everyone Under 27

Yeah, like, well, I'm here to go to college because it's my right and I'm gonna come and change the world, and this is owed to me, and when I get out, you'll all do what I say. Like, I saw two kids in line at the Starbucks, and these fucking two little 18-year-olds, I couldn't even believe them. They were just like, um, mint mocha, I'd like to have the mint mocha. They're like, is there, um, is it, I want protein in it, is it plant-based? And the guy was like, yeah, it says it's plant-based right there. And he was like, he's like, oh, well, what do you think, mocha java chip, or do you want vanilla bean? They sat there and they talked for fucking ever about the myopics of what they were gonna have. Just order a fucking coffee. All the choices that they've been given are destroying them. They're turning into such little fucking assholes. I wanted to just fucking beat them with a Smartwater that was in the refrigerator. I wanted to fucking beat both of them with Smartwaters. And take all the drinks that were in the cold refrigerator and chuck them at their head and then put my fucking foot on their head on the ground.