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I Ruined My Best Friend's Life
Two of my friends, two of my friends' siblings were graduating. Dating, so I really wanted to go. And they're like, there's people, there's people spray painting cars out there. Her walkie-talkie's going off and she's like, there's some kids trying to run each other over.
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So they're already a bunch of ragtag security guards and people that are fucking like losing their shit, even if you weren't in town. So funny.
And I'm like, and I'm like, listen, I really want to go to graduation.
Like, my David, no, David, no, you can't come to graduation. That Chicago accent.
Two of my friends, two of my friends' siblings were graduating. Dating, so I really wanted to go. And they're like, there's people, there's people spray painting cars out there. Her walkie-talkie's going off and she's like, there's some kids trying to run each other over.
No, no, the best thing is like, she's like, she's like, David, David, I— you're killing me, David. What are you doing to me? You can't— and then all of a sudden her walkie goes, uh, because we got, we've got two kids in the parking lot doing donuts. One's on…
And we turn around and literally there's a kid on the roof of the car, the kid on the hood of the car and the car just speeds by the front of the school like the most Project X thing you'll ever see. And then I'm like, oh, okay, I get it, I'm leaving.
No, and then the other security guard, the head security guard, it's like a woman in her 60s. The other security guard's like—