How to Get Fake Drunk at a Party

We used to do, um, my friend— my friend group and I used to do fireworks. Yeah, around July we would—

used to—

I know. No, no, we used to like— we used to take fireworks, go into neighborhoods, and, and put them on people's like fucking garage doorsteps and light them off. I'm telling you, at like 2 AM. No, this is like the stupidest shit we would ever do.

Random people. And we weren't doing it to be dicks. We just loved the echo in the neighborhoods because there was houses, so the firework would be so fucking— this is like the shittiest thing I did as a teenager, right? Nothing ever got— no one ever got like…

Yeah.

And, and John's the type of guy that would snitch on us in a heartbeat, but for some reason that day he was feeling extra nice and he was like, I don't know what you're talking about. And yeah, they sat him down for like 30 minutes and nothing happened.