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How to Get Fake Drunk at a Party
I'm carrying a camera and 2 beers in my hand, like one in each, and my camera's like tucked under my elbow. And, and as we're dancing, I keep pouring parts of the beer out onto the ground. And, and, and like, it got, it got pretty, it got pretty fucking crazy. Um, I, I, I maybe I'd be pouring the beer out. I was pouring the beer out and then I would hold it up to my mouth and just let it hit my lips. I wouldn't take it in. And I remember, I remember, I remember getting back in the car later and, and everyone was like, David, you shouldn't fucking drive. You shouldn't drive.
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David like gets like 2 beers. Does it— he admitted later that he wasn't drinking the beers. Yeah, just fake drinking.
I had, I had 2 beers in my hand. Every time we go to these parties, for some odd fucking reason, people are always like, let loose, let loose. I'm like, what the hell are you guys on? So today I was just like, I'm gonna, I'm gonna let loose before anybody can…
He's carrying a camera.
I'm carrying a camera and 2 beers in my hand, like one in each, and my camera's like tucked under my elbow. And, and as we're dancing, I keep pouring parts of the beer out onto the ground. And, and, and like, it got, it got pretty, it got pretty fucking crazy. Um, I, I, I maybe I'd be pouring the beer out. I was pouring the beer out and then I would hold it up to my mouth and just let it hit my l…
Yeah.
And I was like pretending I was like really fucked up. I'm like, Jason was like, David, let me drive. Let me drive. And I'm like, no, man. I'm too fucked up. I can't pull over right now. And people were screaming at me in the car.
It's not funny, David. It's not funny.